1
00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:12,410
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:14,012
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,647
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:19,584
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:20,852
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,487
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:25,590
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,760
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:34,199
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:37,069 --> 00:00:38,770
All right, everyone.
Listen up.
11
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,305
Today we're going to have
a performance
12
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,674
by one of our students
who has written a song.
13
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:43,842
The song is about his feelings
14
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:47,012
towards the current political
climate with North Korea.
15
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,814
Put your hands together
for Tweek.
16
00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:53,151
[ Applause ]
17
00:00:56,155 --> 00:00:57,355
[ Piano keys clanging ]
18
00:00:57,357 --> 00:01:02,093
[ Screaming ]
19
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:03,662
We're all gonna die!
20
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:07,365
They have nuclear missiles!
Aah! Aah!
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00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:10,902
Why are you just sitting there
doing nothing?!
22
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,037
we have to get out of here!
23
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,705
North Korea
wants to kill us all
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00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,740
and our president
keeps making it worse!
25
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,610
Why are you all
just sitting there?!
26
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:21,913
Why are all acting
like nothing's wrong?!
27
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,817
North Korea is going to bomb us!
We are all dead!
28
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We have to do something!
Do something! Do something!
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00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,224
[ Screams ]
30
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,226
All right, next up
we have Hannah Williams
31
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:38,363
with her rendition
of "Wheels on the Bus."
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00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:44,369
[ Crying ] ♪ The wheels on
the bus go round and round ♪
33
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:48,073
Dude, Craig, you've got to get
Tweek to get ahold of himself.
34
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,774
He's freaking everybody out
at school.
35
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:53,044
What am I supposed to do?
He's your boyfriend, dude.
36
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,746
He's not
gonna listen to me.
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00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,314
He never does
when he's emotional.
38
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:58,316
Craig, let me tell you
about relationships, okay?
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If you don't have
some fuckin' balls,
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00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:01,186
you're not going to
get anywhere.
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00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:02,821
Doesn't matter if they're
gay balls or straight balls,
42
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,689
if you don't take control
of your side of a relationship,
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00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:07,692
you'll get
walked all over --
Hey, babe.
How you doing?
44
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:10,061
Oh, hey, baby.
What's going on?
45
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:14,633
We still on for recess?
Yup, I'll be there.
46
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,635
'Kay, babe.
Love you.
47
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,738
I thought you said
you broke up with Heidi.
48
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,640
I decided to give her
one more chance.
49
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,642
But you said
she was mentally abusive.
50
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,676
She is mentally abusive.
51
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,177
So then why did you
take her back?
52
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Because she said
she was gonna kill herself.
53
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,414
All right, guys? There.
54
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,383
I broke up with her, and she
called me, being all like,
55
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:32,450
"I can't live without you.
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00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,219
I'm scared what I'm gonna do to
myself. Oh, God."
57
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:37,455
The bitch is crazy.
What am I supposed to do?
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00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:40,291
[ Nervously muttering ]
59
00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:41,993
[ Locker door slams ]
Aah!
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00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,495
Tweek.
Aah!
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00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,363
Dude, come on.
You got to settle down.
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00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,298
I can't settle down!
We're all gonna die!
63
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,434
We're not all gonna die.
You're overreacting.
64
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:51,970
Everything's fine, okay?
[ Cellphone pings ]
65
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,405
Oh, God!
The president just tweeted
66
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,807
that North Korea doesn't have
the guts to attack us!
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00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,776
Why would he say that?!
He's making everything worse!
68
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,577
Tweek...
But North Koreans
are gonna think
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00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:00,812
we all agree
with the president!
70
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,915
Okay, so how about you write
your congressman a letter.
71
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,551
That won't help anything!
North Korea wants us dead!
72
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:09,020
Okay, so write a letter
to the North Koreans.
73
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,055
I can't write in Korean
74
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,523
and they all think
we're war-hungry anyway!
75
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:14,426
Okay, well, then why don't you
just send something nice
76
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:16,027
to the North Koreans.
[ Groans ]
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00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,595
It'll make you feel better,
babe.
78
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:20,198
Send something like what?!
I dunno, like,
79
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,866
make them some
croissants or something.
80
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,668
I don't know
how to make croissants!
81
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,104
Well,
what do you know how to make?
82
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,707
Mm...cupcakes!
83
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,876
All right, go home
and make some cupcakes, honey.
84
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,678
Okay!
85
00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:36,381
Hey, Stan?
Yeah?
86
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,750
Can I talk to you
about Eric?
87
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:39,617
Cartman? Okay...
88
00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,619
I just wanna make sure
he's all right.
89
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:42,554
What do you mean?
90
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,856
I don't even know if
I should be saying this but...
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00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:47,826
Eric said he was thinking about
killing himself.
What?
92
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:51,563
We broke up, and he called
saying he was about to do it.
93
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,431
I'm still
really scared for him.
94
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,767
Wait, Cartman said
he was gonna kill himself?
95
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:59,137
I'll send you the voicemail if
you promise to keep it private.
96
00:03:59,139 --> 00:03:59,938
Totally.
97
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,640
[ Laughter ]
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
98
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:05,143
Cartman: You have to take me
back! You have to!
99
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,746
I'm gonna kill myself,
Heidi!
100
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,613
[ Laughter ]
101
00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,715
I'll kill myself,
and then you'll be sorry!
102
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:14,185
You'll wish you could have me
back, but I'll be dead!
103
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:16,554
[ Laughter ]
104
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,390
Please, Heidi! Please!
105
00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:20,258
Okay, okay.
106
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,460
Really cool listening
to people's private voicemails.
107
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,395
You sound like
a dying pig.
108
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,296
[ Laughter ]
109
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:29,267
That's great! I'm glad you guys
think suicide is so funny!
110
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,704
[ Laughter ]
111
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:43,681
♪♪
112
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:51,956
♪♪
113
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:59,864
♪♪
114
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,634
[ Knocking ]
Entrée.
115
00:05:05,037 --> 00:05:06,738
Yes, Eric.
How can I help you?
116
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,139
I don't think
kids at this school
117
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,176
take suicide seriously enough
and we need to raise awareness.
118
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,510
Well,
unfortunately this week
119
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,879
is Distracted Driving
Awareness Week at school,
120
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,080
so you might have
a hard time.
121
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:19,350
Distracted driving?
Who gives a shit about that?
122
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:20,185
A lot of people.
123
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,586
There's more deaths now
because of people
124
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,154
on their phones while driving
than ever before.
125
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,356
PC Principal,
someone's life is at stake.
126
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:28,459
If I have to compete
with distracted driving,
127
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:30,195
then that's what I'll do.
128
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:32,096
♪♪
129
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:35,099
[ Nervous jittering ]
130
00:05:39,638 --> 00:05:41,172
Huh? Oh!
131
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,942
A young homosexual boy
known only as Tweek
132
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,543
has touched
the hearts of many
133
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:48,746
by sending cupcakes
to the North Korean government.
134
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:51,015
The little rascal
apparently made a dent
135
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,250
with the North Korean dictator,
136
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,686
who is said to have loved
the cupcakes so much
137
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,355
that he is started
to make his own --
138
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,724
Oh! Ahh.
[ Cellphone pings ]
139
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:00,425
Huh?!
140
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:03,361
"U.S. President
responds to cupcakes..."
141
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,096
The human interest
cupcake story
142
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,365
has apparently be heard
by the president.
143
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,801
Just moments ago,
the president tweeted,
144
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:10,835
"I know that kid Tweek.
145
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:13,438
He's fucking with you,
North Korea. Get a clue.
146
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,773
I'll bet he took a dump
in the batter."
147
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:20,078
[ Screams ]
What?! Why would he say that?!
148
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,045
Tweek, calm down.
149
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,348
The president!
He tweeted about me!
150
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,583
Why would he do that?!
Did you see that?!
151
00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:26,751
Yes, I did see that.
152
00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:29,487
So I went and got you something
to make things better.
153
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,489
What?!
It's a fidget spinner.
154
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:34,592
It's supposed to help
with anxiety. See?
155
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:37,462
A fidget spinner?! Did you read
what the president tweeted?!
156
00:06:37,464 --> 00:06:40,798
[ Cellphone pings ]
Woman: The president
of the United States
157
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,333
just tweeted again,
this time saying --
158
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:46,537
"I hope all children of America
will stand with Tweek in saying,
159
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:49,374
'Go ahead and bomb us,
Kim Jong Dong,
160
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:50,775
we fucking dare you!'"
161
00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:53,211
[ Screams ]
162
00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:58,016
Hey, guys. Take a minute to read
about distracted driving?
163
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,250
Talk to
all the grownups you know
164
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,518
about staying off their
mobile devices
165
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,619
when they get behind
the wheel.
166
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:03,254
Hey, guys --
got a second to help
167
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,122
stop distracted driving?
168
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,390
Thanks.
-Hey, guys --
169
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,191
[ Music playing
over intercom ]
170
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,260
Cartman: Hey, guys,
let's a take a minute
171
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,862
and talk about
suicide prevention.
172
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:13,097
There's probably someone
right now at this school
173
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,433
thinking about killing himself,
and it's not funny.
174
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,903
You better take it serious
or he might actually do it.
175
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:21,306
♪ I've been feelin' sad,
I've been bein' sad ♪
176
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,775
♪ Can't talk to my mom,
don't even have a dad ♪
177
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,877
♪ I can't go on,
what is living for? ♪
178
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:28,313
♪ My heart screams
"I don't wanna live no more" ♪
179
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,848
♪ Eric,
we don't want you to die ♪
180
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,650
♪ Eric, give life a try ♪
181
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:35,286
♪ Eric,
we don't want you to die ♪
182
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,121
♪ Eric, oh, God, no, Eric ♪
183
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,892
[ Echoing ]
I don't wanna live no more!
184
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,828
♪ But Eric,
we don't want you die ♪
185
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,997
♪ You're so cool,
we'd be sad at school ♪
186
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,066
♪ Yeah, but you guys,
you don't understand ♪
187
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,501
♪ With my girlfriend, it's
like I'm living in quicksand ♪
188
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:52,737
♪ Conflicting thoughts, I need
a battered wives' shelter ♪
189
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:55,540
♪ my girlfriend is messed up,
but all I wanna do is help her ♪
190
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,375
♪ I'm suffocating,
I'm drowning in sorrow ♪
191
00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:00,078
♪ Gonna kill myself prob'ly
around 2:30 tomorrow ♪
192
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,947
♪ But, Eric,
we don't want you to die ♪
193
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:05,917
♪ Eric, give life a try ♪
Everybody!
194
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,452
♪ Eric,
we don't want you to die ♪
195
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:10,154
♪ Eric, oh, God, no, Eric ♪
But it's so hard!
196
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,590
♪ Eric,
we don't want you to die ♪
197
00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:14,392
Only you guys
can make a difference.
198
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:17,929
I don't care if you're black,
white, gay, straight or trans,
199
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:18,896
I am going to kill myself
200
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,432
unless you all
start taking it seriously.
201
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:25,703
♪ Eric, please don't die... ♪
202
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,375
Distracted driving
my asshole.
203
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:35,146
♪♪
204
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:38,649
[ Nervous jittering ]
205
00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:39,851
Hey, Tweek.
Aah!
206
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,386
How's it going
with the fidget spinner?
207
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:44,989
Great!
You seem
a lot less anxious.
208
00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:46,791
Things are
finally turning around
209
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,459
for my little
homosexual son.
210
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,161
[ Loud blast in distance ]
211
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:53,498
What is that?!
I'm not sure.
212
00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:59,904
Aah! Aah!
213
00:09:02,474 --> 00:09:04,842
[ Screams ]
214
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:07,278
Man: Yet no agreement
has been reached
215
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,813
between the parties involved.
216
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:11,049
Breaking news now
out of Colorado,
217
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,885
where the North Koreans
appear to have fired a missile
218
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,620
over Tweek's house.
-[ Screams ]
219
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:16,988
Tweek, of course,
the young boy
220
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,590
who got the attention
of Kim Jong Un last week.
221
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:20,758
The news media in North Korea
222
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:24,162
is calling the missile test
a victory for its people.
223
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,163
[ Speaking in Korean ]
224
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:28,232
Translator: Today the great
country of North Korea...
225
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,102
has proven its determination
and fortitude...
226
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:34,739
by successfully firing a missile
over Tweek's house.
227
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,075
Perhaps now Tweek...
-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
228
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,109
Why's this happening to me?!
229
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,844
They have to know
this isn't my fault!
230
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:42,013
In response
to the North Korean test,
231
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,015
the president
of the United States
232
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,850
has just tweeted
this statement --
233
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,785
"You really think
Tweek is scared?
234
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,288
Tweek will single handedly
go to North Korea
235
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:53,458
and fuck all you slanty eyed
bitches doggy style.
236
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:56,360
What?!
Why would he say that?!
237
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,229
Man:
The president also tweeted --
238
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,031
"If you even think Tweek
is worried about
239
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:03,434
a bunch of dipshit poor ass
third world rice pickers,
240
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,335
think again."
241
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,270
Oh, my God!
What is he doing?!
242
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:09,373
-Tweek, Tweek. Calm down!
-why won't he just stop?! Why?
243
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,442
Tweek! Tweek,
h-here's your fidget spinner!
244
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,777
Why does he
keep making it worse?!
245
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,012
Your fidget spinner, Tweek!
Come on, son!
246
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:16,147
Aah!
247
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,783
Focus on
the fidget spinner.
248
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:23,955
♪♪
249
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,191
Oh, geez, looks like North Korea
launched another missile.
250
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:30,595
Oh, really, like another test?
Where are you looking?
251
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:31,462
I'm on Drudge.
252
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,964
You see what the president
tweeted about it?
253
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,299
-No, what'd he say?
-The president tweeted
254
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,301
"North Korea
is the butthole of Asia and --
255
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,703
Innocent child!
256
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:40,204
Aah!
[ Tires screech ]
257
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:40,938
Aah!
258
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:44,976
[ Glass shatters, body thuds
in slow motion ]
259
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:49,814
[ Splattering ]
260
00:11:04,429 --> 00:11:08,966
[ Crying ]
I know.
I know, it's so sad.
261
00:11:10,402 --> 00:11:13,604
Well, how nice.
That's a little more like it.
262
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:16,607
Well, guys, what happened?
Change of heart?
263
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:17,642
Yeah, you didn't hear?
264
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:20,411
Gary Borkovec got ran over
by a distracted driver.
265
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:23,181
What?!
Gary Borkovec? Is he dead?
266
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,682
Yeah, dude, he's dead.
267
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,616
Oh, that son of a bitch.
268
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,451
I'm gonna talk
to the principal!
269
00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:28,686
Put down the candle,
Kenny!
270
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,489
Like you ever gave a shit
about Gary Borkovec!
271
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,658
[ Knocking ]
272
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,626
Entrée vous.
273
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,496
PC Principal, I'm trying to
raise suicide awareness,
274
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,497
but everyone's preoccupied
275
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,832
with this "don't be on your
phone when driving" crap.
276
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:43,768
Gary Borkovec
was a good student.
277
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,069
He didn't deserve
to be taken away
278
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,771
by someone not paying attention
to the road.
279
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:49,307
Yes, but Gary Borkovec
is already dead.
280
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,675
There's nothing
we can do for him.
281
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:53,077
Students need to focus on people
thinking about dying.
282
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,279
I don't know
what more you want from me, bro.
283
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:57,915
I can't just get people to care
with a stupid rap song.
284
00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,251
I need a full orchestra --
woodwinds, strings --
285
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,953
I need black people
in white robes,
286
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,087
white people
in black robes,
287
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:05,323
and a thousand doves
to release into the air.
288
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:10,494
I can give you two student
volunteers and one pigeon.
289
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:12,930
Do you have any idea
how serious this is?
290
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,732
As someone who deals
with suicidal thoughts,
291
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,001
I cannot believe the lack
of concern at this school!
292
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:19,403
Maybe I should just take
the awareness of my suicide
293
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,372
out to the public
on the streets!
294
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,773
Maybe you should.
295
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:23,941
Maybe I will!
296
00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:27,878
Maybe you should.
Maybe I will!
297
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,284
[ Screams ]
298
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,586
Ugh. [ Sighs ]
299
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,387
Hey, Tweek.
300
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,589
Look at what the president
tweeted now!
301
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,091
What time is it, dude?
302
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,359
Just read it!
303
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:44,895
"North Korea doesn't have
the balls to attack Tweek.
304
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:46,864
They have
little tiny rice balls."
305
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:49,867
They're gonna get me, Craig!
Look at what's on CNN!
306
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:52,303
And the President's tweets
have certainly caught
307
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,738
the attention of North Korea,
308
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,640
who have been spending
the past several days
309
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:58,809
viewing possible targets
for a nuclear strike
310
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:00,544
if war were to break out...
311
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:03,314
[ Screams ]
What am I gonna do?!
312
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,548
You gotta calm down.
313
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,384
How am I supposed
to calm down?!
314
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,418
North Korea is gonna get me!
315
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,287
They're gonna get me!
Tweek. Tweek. Tweek.
316
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,621
Let's think
this through logically.
317
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,190
North Korea isn't going
to attack anyone, okay?
318
00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:15,693
They're not going to start
a war they can't win.
319
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:16,260
Okay?
320
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:17,495
But, Craig, I --
Tweek.
321
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,196
You have to stop thinking
about it.
322
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:22,066
Tell you what,
we're gonna go somewhere fun
323
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:23,601
and make you feel better.
324
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:24,468
[ Bell dings ]
325
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,305
Give a minute of your time
for suicide awareness?
326
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,239
Suicide is serious.
327
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,341
Help tell people like Kyle
it's not a joke.
328
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,243
Hey, good for you guys,
trying to help.
329
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,478
Yeah, make sure everyone
you know gets involved
330
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,446
or else I'm gonna do it.
331
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,381
We're getting a lot
of attention, Eric.
332
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:38,883
Our website's already
full of kids
333
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,551
saying they feel
the same way as you
334
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:41,519
and want to get help.
335
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,087
They want to get help?
For what?
336
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:46,290
For wanting to take
their own lives.
337
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:48,025
No, this is about me
killing myself.
338
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:51,629
But, babe, there's a lot of kids
who feel the same way you do.
339
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,364
They're full of shit,
Heidi.
340
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,765
They're just trying
to get attention.
341
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:57,101
What, are you actually talking
online to these asswipes?!
342
00:13:57,103 --> 00:14:00,571
I thought this was about raising
awareness and helping people.
343
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:01,605
So you're just gonna e-mail
344
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,574
with every every guy
who has a dick and a deathwish?
345
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:04,642
Are we just your type?
346
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,610
Eric, come on.
No, look, Heidi.
347
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:08,713
I'm sorry, but you're the one
who started all this
348
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,981
by telling everybody
that I was suicidal.
349
00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:11,615
Okay?
350
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:13,351
Now I'm under
a lot of pressure to do it.
351
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,052
So the only option I have
is to make sure
352
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,955
that suicide prevention
becomes this entire town's
353
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:19,423
number-one priority!
354
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,324
Oh, God, did you see
355
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,326
what the President said
about Asians now?
356
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:24,995
Look out!
357
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:26,430
[ Screams ]
358
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:30,000
Oh, are you freakin'
serious?
359
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,903
[ Riders scream in distance ]
360
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:36,774
Okay, babe,
what do you wanna ride first?
361
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,743
Ugh!
What are we doing here, Craig?
362
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,746
We're gonna get your mind
off politics and have some fun.
363
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,281
Now, what's your
favorite ride?
364
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,984
The Ferris wheel!
365
00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:51,655
[ Laughs ]
366
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:55,259
Isn't this lovely, Tweek?
Just look at that view.
367
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:56,293
[ Cellphone chimes ]
368
00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:57,428
[ Gasps ]
Oh, God!
369
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,363
Another tweet
from the president!
370
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:00,131
Oh, come on.
371
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,234
"Why would the U.S. be scared
of North Korea?
372
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:06,237
Tweek is so not scared
he's at an amusement park
373
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,405
in Denver right now."
374
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,873
[ Gasps ]
Jesus Christ!
375
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,074
We gotta get outta here!
376
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,876
Tweek!
Tweek, use your brain.
377
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:14,745
North Korea isn't going
to attack an amusement park.
378
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,481
You're safer here
than anywhere.
379
00:15:18,683 --> 00:15:19,950
Oh, geez.
380
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:22,620
The president just called
Kim Jong-un a fat midget.
381
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:25,156
Oh, and now North Korea
is saying that they're gonna --
382
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,223
Dad, look out!
383
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:27,158
Oh, shit!
384
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,225
[ Woman screams ]
385
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:29,059
[ Screams ]
386
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,761
Ride attendant:
All right, everyone,
387
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,663
please wait
for your bumper cars
388
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:33,798
to come to a complete stop.
389
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,533
We hope you enjoyed
Crazy Cars --
390
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:39,203
Mommy, look out!
[ Screams ]
391
00:15:44,042 --> 00:15:45,810
Oh, my God,
what is that?!
392
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:46,644
What is that?!
393
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,413
It's probably nothing.
Everything's fine.
394
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,315
Will you please stop
saying that?!
395
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:52,149
I can't take it!
396
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:53,451
I'm trying
to make you feel better.
397
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:56,821
Well, maybe I don't wanna
feel better right now!
398
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,122
Okay, but think about that.
399
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,790
That actually doesn't make
any sense.
400
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,425
Why do you have to be
so logical?!
401
00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:03,594
I don't need you
to problem-solve all the time,
402
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,063
I need you to -- Agh!
I don't know!
403
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,732
Tweek, honey, all week,
you've been freaking out,
404
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,734
and I've been the one
forced to deal with it.
405
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,036
You haven't been dealing
with it,
406
00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:13,671
you've been trying
to make it go away
407
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,906
because my emotions
are freaking you out!
408
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,675
[ People scream ]
409
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,044
Tweek, North Korea
isn't bombing anyone.
410
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,679
They would lose
the support of China,
411
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:22,980
and that would be --
There you go again!
412
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,381
Stop preaching facts
to me!
413
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:25,416
It's not what I need!
414
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,651
Well, I'm sorry that
I'm actually in control
415
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,588
of my goddamn emotions,
ya baby!
416
00:16:30,789 --> 00:16:33,657
Oh, see, now you made me lose
control of my emotions.
417
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,226
God damn it.
418
00:16:36,127 --> 00:16:38,162
[ Grumbling ]
419
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,130
[ Screams ]
420
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:44,635
♪♪
421
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:47,738
Hey Craig, how come
Tweek's not at school?
422
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:48,706
How should I know?
423
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,641
Uh-oh.
Trouble in paradise?
424
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:53,344
Look guys, Tweek doesn't
want help, okay?
425
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,179
He just wants to overreact.
426
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,014
Henry: Hey, guys,
could we have your attention?
427
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,916
Tomorrow night, we'll be having
a memorial service
428
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:01,552
for all the students we've lost
to distracted driving.
429
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,020
We hope you can all bring
your families.
430
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,688
Cool, yeah.
Hey, guys, and there's also
431
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,056
gonna be a suicide awareness
pot luck
432
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:07,892
at 7:30 tomorrow night
in the school gymnasium.
433
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:10,327
We're gonna have lots of games
and face painting,
434
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,896
and what are you guys
gonna have?
435
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:13,864
We're gonna have
some guest speakers
436
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,232
and also provide
grievance counselors
437
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:16,200
for those who need it.
438
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,269
Yeah, grievance counseling --
that sounds super fun.
439
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,603
Listen, guys,
there's a very real chance
440
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,005
I might actually do it
right in front
441
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,706
of everyone tomorrow,
so you don't want to miss it.
442
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,242
Suicide prevention pot luck,
everybody.
443
00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:26,277
Eric, you need to stop.
444
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:27,444
What they're doing is important.
445
00:17:27,446 --> 00:17:30,180
They're doing a memorial service
with speeches and crying.
446
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:31,181
What's that gonna solve?
447
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:32,783
it's not about
problem solving, Eric.
448
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,184
It's about people
getting together
449
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,186
and feeling
what they need to feel!
450
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:38,756
People need help sorting out
their emotions sometimes.
451
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,958
And the best thing
isn't always quick answers,
452
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,927
But just being there,
supporting each other
453
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,262
And talking through
those feelings.
454
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:46,263
You are so up and down.
455
00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:48,332
I don't know what you want
from me, Heidi!
456
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:49,700
Come on.
There has to be a way
457
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,135
We can all work together,
here.
458
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:52,570
So, now
you're on their side!
459
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:56,006
Oh, my God, I'm seriously
gonna do it right now!
460
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,841
Eric!
461
00:17:59,544 --> 00:18:00,744
[ Door opens ]
462
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,479
Tweek!
What's going on?
463
00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:05,082
What? What do you mean
what's going on?!
464
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,217
The same shit
that's been going on!
465
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:08,485
Nothing's gotten
any better?!
466
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,988
Oh, my God,
how does that make you feel?
467
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:13,090
I feel scared!
I feel alone!
468
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,758
That must be horrible
to feel that way!
469
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,994
It must be hard for you
to even think!
470
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,729
it is!
It's terrible!
471
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:22,866
I bet it's terrible!
What else are you feeling?
472
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:24,735
Like I have no control
over my life.
473
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,770
Like I'm just a pawn
in a big game.
474
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,706
Oh, that's a terrifying
thought.
475
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:30,174
You must feel trapped.
476
00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:31,041
Yeah, like, trapped,
477
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,377
But, like, completely unable
to even move.
478
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:34,144
Jesus!
479
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:35,679
It's like there's
no solution to any of this!
480
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,715
What are you gonna do?
What can you do?
481
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:41,118
I don't know.
It's -- It's like maybe --
482
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,286
Maybe I have to find a way
483
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,288
to feel a little in charge
of me again.
484
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,390
That sounds
so insurmountable, though.
485
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:47,858
How would you even start?
486
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:51,295
I don't know, but I-I gotta do
something about this.
487
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,598
There's gotta be
a way I can...
488
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,575
Thank you, Craig.
489
00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:06,710
I've got it.
490
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:09,179
People aren't focused
on the right thing.
491
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,448
I know what I should do.
492
00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:14,451
All right, everyone,
listen up.
493
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:17,287
Tonight, one of our students
has put together a song
494
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:18,422
about a very important issue.
495
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:21,158
It's a song about how
there are certain times
496
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,693
to not be on your phone.
497
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:25,929
I hope you all listen carefully.
498
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:35,339
[ Somber piano music plays ]
499
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:38,008
♪ People are dying ♪
500
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,678
♪ The fault is our own ♪
501
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,213
♪ You can do lots of damage ♪
502
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,949
♪ When you're on your phone ♪
503
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,552
♪ We all have to agree ♪
504
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,921
♪ To change it somehow ♪
505
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:57,795
♪ Let's all make a pledge
to end it right now ♪
506
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:58,962
♪ Put it down ♪
507
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,564
♪ Don't be on your phone ♪
508
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:03,000
♪ While being President ♪
509
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,101
♪ Put it down ♪
510
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,036
♪ You might do something dumb ♪
511
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,038
♪ And cause an accident ♪
512
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,541
♪ Let's all agree here today ♪
513
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,444
♪ That if we're leader
of the USA ♪
514
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,945
♪ We'll put it down ♪
515
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:17,781
If at any point today,
you're being a president,
516
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,049
put down your mobile device.
517
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,050
♪ Put it down ♪
518
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,419
If I'm on the phone,
I will not get behind
519
00:20:22,421 --> 00:20:24,354
the desk of an oval office.
520
00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:25,689
♪ Put it down ♪
521
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:27,024
I'll take the pledge!
522
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,225
I'll take the pledge!
523
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,693
And I'll take the pledge.
524
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:31,428
♪ No one cares ♪
525
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,664
What's that?
I was just elected president?
526
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:34,631
Well, then, goodbye!
527
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:38,368
♪ Put it down
if you're President today ♪
528
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:41,171
♪ If you find yourself
being President today ♪
529
00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:44,408
Hey Brian, look!
I was just elected President.
530
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,277
That's great, Nancy.
Now, put down your phone.
531
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:48,011
Right!
532
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:50,414
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah-ah-ah,
put it down ♪
533
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,183
[ Rapping ]
♪ Give a standing ovation
for suicide in our nation ♪
534
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:56,220
♪ Or I will rip my own guts out
without one hesitation ♪
535
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:57,554
♪ Dedication,
that's what it's taken ♪
536
00:20:57,556 --> 00:20:58,722
♪ To waken people to care ♪
537
00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,023
♪ And still my future's
so hazy ♪
538
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,291
♪ My girlfriend's
making me crazy ♪
539
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:02,659
♪ But still
I'm working so hard ♪
540
00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:04,161
♪ You know,
just trying to hold on ♪
541
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,797
♪ Cuz I know that you don't
miss me so much if I was gone ♪
542
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,198
♪ And all the voices
start solo ♪
543
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,833
♪ But every day,
I hear them grow ♪
544
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,101
♪ Saying, Eric, don't do it ♪
545
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,203
♪ Don't do it, nooooo ♪
546
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:14,505
♪ Put it down ♪
547
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:18,842
♪ Don't be on your phone
while being president ♪
548
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:19,877
♪ Put it down ♪
549
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:24,081
♪ You might do something dumb
and cause an accident ♪
550
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:26,450
♪ We all agree here today ♪
551
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:29,453
♪ That if we're leader
of the USA ♪
552
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:33,023
♪ We'll put it down ♪
553
00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:38,529
♪ Put it down ♪
554
00:21:41,866 --> 00:21:43,734
I'm not gonna do it,
you guys!
555
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:46,136
It worked!
I'm not gonna do it!
556
00:21:51,609 --> 00:21:52,810
Cartman said he was gonna
kill himself?
557
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,877
I'll send you the voicemail
558
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:55,512
if you promise
to keep it private.
559
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:56,713
Totally.
560
00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:58,549
[ Laughter ]
561
00:21:58,551 --> 00:21:59,383
Shh! Shh! Shh!
562
00:21:59,385 --> 00:22:00,918
Cartman:
You have to take me back!
563
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,854
You have to!
I'm gonna kill myself, Heidi!
564
00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:06,023
[ Laughter ]