1 00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:17,449 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪ 2 00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,385 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 3 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,253 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 4 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:24,223 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 5 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,691 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 6 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:28,060 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪ 7 00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,696 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 8 00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:34,333 ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ 9 00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:38,137 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪ 10 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:48,547 [ Cellphone ringing ] 11 00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,351 [ Sighs ] 12 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:53,619 [ Cellphone beeps ] 13 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,320 Yes, Eric? 14 00:00:55,322 --> 00:01:00,125 [ Sobbing ] 15 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:04,329 Eric, this isn't working. 16 00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:06,665 Heidi, no, please! 17 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,368 Heidi, Heidi, I would be nothing without you. 18 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:10,769 Okay? I'm sorry. 19 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,371 Okay? Please! 20 00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:13,705 You called me a whore 21 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,607 and pushed me in front of a car. 22 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,476 Heidi, I was in a bad mood. 23 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,812 I told you -- that's what happens after I eat. 24 00:01:19,814 --> 00:01:21,480 My blood sugar spikes, 25 00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:23,082 and I get all anxious and then I crash -- 26 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,817 Eric, you can't just keep being mean to me 27 00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,652 and blaming it on your blood sugar. 28 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,153 But it-- But it's true, Heidi! 29 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:29,254 It's all my mom's fault. 30 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,656 She feeds me all this crap, 31 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:31,790 and my body doesn't know how to process it. 32 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:32,758 Mom! 33 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,159 Mom! 34 00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,727 Yes, hon? 35 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:38,530 You fucked up my life, Mom! Fuck you! 36 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,265 How could you feed me like that, you bitch?! 37 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,733 Get outta here! 38 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,669 Eric, if blood sugar is really the problem, 39 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:46,772 then you need to change how you eat, right? 40 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,408 Right. Like, what'd ya -- what'd ya mean? 41 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,110 Eric, every time I've talked to you 42 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,744 about maybe being a vegan with me, 43 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,513 you just tell me vegans are pussies, 44 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,715 but then you try and blame food and your mom for -- 45 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,784 It is the food and it is my mom, Heidi! 46 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,452 It is! I wanna be vegan with you! 47 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,688 I need your help to show me how. Please, Heidi. 48 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,223 I need you right now, more than ever. 49 00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,390 I want to do this. Please. 50 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,126 You really mean it? 51 00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:08,861 Yes, Heidi! That's how much I love you. 52 00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:10,429 I'm vegan from now on. 53 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,697 All right, Eric. 54 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,199 We'll see how this goes, okay? 55 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,300 I'll see you tomorrow. 56 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,302 Okay. Okay, bye, honey. 57 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,370 [ Cellphone beeps ] 58 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,873 ♪♪ 59 00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:24,443 [ Indistinct conversations ] 60 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,311 That dirty whore! 61 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,779 Who does that bitch think she is?! 62 00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:30,449 Packing my lunch for me? Fuck her, dude! 63 00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,317 Pissed off at your girlfriend again, huh, Eric? 64 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,752 She's not a girlfriend. 65 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,888 She's a controlling, manipulative whore! 66 00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:37,623 That's enough, Cartman. 67 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,391 I am so sick of hearing you 68 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,692 call Heidi horrible things! 69 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,427 That's because you don't understand 70 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,163 how much it sucks to be in a relationship. 71 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,397 Hey, babe. 72 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,598 Oh, hey, babe. What's going on? 73 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,467 What are you up to? 74 00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:51,436 Nothing, just telling the guys how awesome it is to be vegan. 75 00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,572 That's great. You wanna come eat with me? 76 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,907 I can explain what I packed. 77 00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:58,410 Yeah, sure. That sounds awesome. 78 00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,945 I don't get it. 79 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,813 I just really don't get it. 80 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,549 How is she still supporting him? 81 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:04,917 She loves him, I guess. 82 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:06,418 But he clearly sucks. 83 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,653 She has to know he sucks. 84 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:08,787 What the hell is going on? 85 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,589 Well, it's not our problem. 86 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,957 It is our problem. 87 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,593 This is affecting us -- our whole school. 88 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,729 There's got to be a reason she sticks by him. 89 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,265 [ School bell rings ] 90 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,668 [ Cheering ] 91 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,271 Oh, Heidi. 92 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,506 Heidi, you got a sec? 93 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,474 Oh, hey, Kyle. Hey. 94 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,210 Uh, listen, uh -- 95 00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:33,278 I-I know you and Cartman have an anniversary coming up, 96 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,813 and I was just wondering, you know, 97 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,215 how do you think he's doing? 98 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,316 As a boyfriend? 99 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:38,884 Well, what do you mean? 100 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,453 Well, you know, like, some of us are thinking that, 101 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,323 uh, maybe he's not super qualified to be with you. 102 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,891 Oh, God. Not you, too. 103 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,460 Just, like, what are the things about Cartman 104 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:51,230 that you find... remotely redeeming? 105 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,498 Look, don't you think I get it enough from my girlfriends? 106 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,667 "He sucks, Heidi. What's wrong with you? 107 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,336 Why can't you admit he's a loser? 108 00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:59,304 How could anyone ever go with him?" 109 00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:01,006 I was just following my heart. 110 00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:02,574 Isn't that what you're supposed to do? 111 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,842 You don't have to get defensive. 112 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,244 I just -- Who's being defensive?! 113 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,678 He's great! We're doing great! 114 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,680 I didn't make a bad decision. 115 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:11,850 I don't need you to stand there and say, "I told you so." 116 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:12,985 I didn't say, "I told you" -- 117 00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:14,820 You know, you don't know what Eric's like 118 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,788 when we're alone, okay? 119 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,758 He's actually really good to me. 120 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,561 Wow. 121 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:28,267 [ Knocking on door ] 122 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,735 Heidi! 123 00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,436 Oh, my God. You're not gonna believe this. 124 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,038 What? You were so right... 125 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,273 [ Door closes ] ...when you said there were 126 00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:35,674 vegan options for everything. 127 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,776 Remember how you told me about Beyond Meat? 128 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,011 Yeah, the vegan meat that's made 129 00:04:39,013 --> 00:04:40,779 with all vegetables and plants. 130 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:41,980 Well, I tried it, and you were right. 131 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,448 You can't even tell the difference 132 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,716 between that and real meat. 133 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:48,287 Really? That's great, babe. So now I've been trying all kinds of vegan foods. 134 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,722 You gotta try this. It's called Beyond KFC. 135 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,058 Oh, wow. It's all plant-based. 136 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,493 Soy protein, and just -- Y-You gotta taste this. 137 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,827 Just try it. 138 00:04:57,597 --> 00:04:59,765 It tastes just like KFC. 139 00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,634 I know, right?! Isn't that crazy? 140 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,969 Like -- Like, seriously, how could you even tell that this was vegan? 141 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:07,873 Try the -- try the Beyond Mashed Potatoes and Gravy too. 142 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,508 They say you can even drink the Beyond Gravy by itself 143 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,676 as like a protein boost. 144 00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:13,945 I don't know about you, but I could eat this every day. 145 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,450 Yeah, it's really good. 146 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:19,685 Delicious. 147 00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,754 [ School bell rings ] 148 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,823 Guys, listen. 149 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,825 I think I know why Heidi won't admit 150 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:27,959 Cartman's a horrible boyfriend. 151 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,728 Dude, are you still on this? 152 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,563 Yeah! It's important! 153 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,098 Maybe she's telling the truth, Kyle. 154 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,100 Maybe Eric really does love and support her 155 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,535 in ways that we don't see. 156 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:37,969 You guys! You guys! 157 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,938 Have you seen Heidi? No. 158 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,341 Well, uh, we've been trying some different foods lately, 159 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:45,077 and, uh, Heidi's put on some pounds, you guys. 160 00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,912 Heidi's getting fat? 161 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,513 Yeah, Token, don't start ripping on me 162 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,948 for having a fat girlfriend, all right? 163 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,483 Just try and be cool about it. 164 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:52,951 Hey, babe. 165 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,487 Oh, hey, hey, hey, Heidi. What's going on? 166 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,524 I-I'm not feeling the best again. 167 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,960 I might see if my mom can come pick me up. 168 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,962 Pick you up? That could be tough. 169 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:07,099 I -- I know, but I just feel bloated. 170 00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,934 I think there might have been something bad 171 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,702 in that Beyond Arby's. 172 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,770 Yeah, well, cool babe. 173 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,438 Maybe you should, uh, 174 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,006 just waddle on down to the nurse's office. 175 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,541 Can you come with? 176 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:17,909 Oh, sure. 177 00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:20,946 We have to help that girl. 178 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,848 Can't you see what's happening? 179 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:25,016 Kyle, it's none of our business. 180 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,518 You're wrong. 181 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,754 In a way... 182 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:32,124 I think we're all going out with Cartman right now. 183 00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:33,892 Uh-huh. 184 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,627 Yeah, I understand that, faggot. 185 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,996 And you should understand how my balls are gonna taste 186 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,965 when your country starts needing money. 187 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,666 I don't give two shits about a treaty. 188 00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:42,701 You're a Polish midget. 189 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,869 [ Knock on door ] Come in. 190 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,739 Uh-huh. Hang -- Hang on. I'm gonna call you back. 191 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,541 Yeah, go fuck yourself, retard. 192 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,809 [ Receiver clicks ] 193 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,878 Mr. President, we have a problem. 194 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,513 People are pretty upset. 195 00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,681 Oh, don't tell me people are still mad 196 00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,150 about that nigger thing. 197 00:06:58,152 --> 00:07:01,820 It's pronounced "Niger," Mr. President. 198 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,655 And it's a country in Africa. 199 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,557 Ooh, aren't we fancy. 200 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,959 Okay, I don't want a bunch "Nigers" in Africa 201 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,194 aiding terrorists. 202 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,729 Mr. President, 203 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,063 you need to be a little more careful. 204 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,865 There's an investigation. 205 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,600 A worker with ties to Russia 206 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,170 was found raped and executed. 207 00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,539 Raped and executed? 208 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,673 Oh, you mean fucked to death? 209 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,141 Oh, yeah, that was me. 210 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,677 Mr. President, people are starting to question 211 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,878 your oath to the office! 212 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,713 My oath to the office 213 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,049 was that I would fuck everyone to death, remember? 214 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,717 Ooh, I 'member! 215 00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,186 -Me, too. I 'member! -I 'member that. 216 00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:35,921 You guys be quiet. 217 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,456 And you guys just get out there 218 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,524 and put a positive spin on this whole thing. 219 00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:42,194 How are we supposed to put a positive spin on it? 220 00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:44,095 It's getting pretty hard to keep defending you. 221 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,531 Maybe it's time we put our foot down. 222 00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,033 Oooh. 223 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,100 [ Beep, whir ] 224 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:51,603 [ Door closes, locks ] 225 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,772 Hope you brought some condoms. 226 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:56,174 [ Ball bouncing ] 227 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,657 Hello. 228 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,626 I know things have been difficult between us lately. 229 00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:17,629 I know you think all boys are sort of pigs, 230 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,531 but just know that a lot of us boys 231 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:23,134 think girls are amazing and smart and beautiful. 232 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,070 Not -- Not like hot beautiful, 233 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,671 I mean like inside beautiful. 234 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:27,906 I -- I'm not saying you're hot. 235 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,074 You're not -- You're not hot. 236 00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,642 I'm not saying you're ugly. 237 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,811 It doesn't matter. You're all hot on the inside. 238 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,946 If we could all just see inside you, it would be hot. 239 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:35,981 Oh, shit. 240 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,616 What do you want, Kyle? 241 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,017 It's Heidi Turner. 242 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:39,918 You guys shouldn't criticize her so much 243 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,620 for going with Cartman. 244 00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,121 Why not? Eric Cartman is a horrible person. 245 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,123 I know! I-I know that, okay? 246 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,925 Trust me, I hate Cartman as much as any of you. 247 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,094 But just, give her some space, you know? 248 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,096 You can't keep saying, "We told you so," 249 00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,764 because if you make her feel dumb, 250 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,899 she just doubles down and tries to prove to herself 251 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,033 that it wasn't dumb. 252 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,169 Why do you care? Do you like Heidi? 253 00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,704 No! 254 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,640 Oh, my God. He so likes Heidi. 255 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:02,274 Obvi. 256 00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:04,075 No, I don't! 257 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,011 Do I? 258 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,181 Hey, Kyle! 259 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,683 Hey, I was thinkin' about what you said -- 260 00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,184 how we should all help Heidi break up with Eric? 261 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,887 You're right. It's our moral obligation. 262 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,690 Yeah, no, we're not getting involved in that. 263 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:19,791 Oh, we're not? 264 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,226 Yeah, no, yeah, I, uh -- 265 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,261 I think we need to stay out of it. 266 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,896 Oh. Okay, then. 267 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,800 Cartman, can we talk? 268 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,168 Sure, Kyle. What's up? 269 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,337 I just -- I hope that maybe you can realize 270 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,972 what you have with Heidi 271 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,675 and -- and just try to be good to her, okay? 272 00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:38,810 Kyle, let me tell you something about relationships. 273 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,145 There's always two sides. Okay? 274 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,147 You compromise, she compromises. 275 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,848 Sometimes you criticize each other, 276 00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,817 but it's all part of trying to make each other better. 277 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,152 Some day, maybe you'll have a girlfriend 278 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,186 and you'll understand. 279 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,120 Oh, here she comes. 280 00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,291 [ Beating drum ] Boom-baba, boom-baba! 281 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,826 Clear the hallway, everyone! 282 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:58,997 Heidi's comin' troo! Wha--What are you doing, Eric? 283 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,799 I was just practicing marching bass drum for my buddy Kyle. 284 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,033 It's his favorite. 285 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,234 Oh, okay. 286 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,070 Um, are we still on for lunch? 287 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,838 You betcha. Can't wait. 288 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,673 Okay. See ya. 289 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,977 [ Beating drum ] Boom-baba, boom-baba, boom! 290 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,815 ♪♪ 291 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,350 Some concern 292 00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:20,719 over the President's competency again today. 293 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,887 It was during a Middle East peace conference 294 00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:25,357 when the President referred to the people of Saudi Arabia 295 00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:28,093 as "a bunch of dirty sand Nigers." 296 00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:29,761 Though the comments seem divisive, 297 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,262 Speaker of the House Paul Ryan 298 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:34,132 says he's sticking by his President 100%. 299 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,736 Reporter: Speaker Ryan, it's the anniversary 300 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:38,937 of the President being elected. 301 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,939 How do you think he's doing? 302 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,240 Well, what do you mean? 303 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,042 He's great. We're doing great. 304 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,011 A lot of people judge him and just see the negative. 305 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,013 People don't know how great the President can be 306 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,748 behind closed doors. 307 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,283 They don't get to see all his good qualities. 308 00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:56,121 Uh-huh. And is that semen on your black eye? 309 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,056 Oh! No, I-I, uh -- I tripped on a doorknob! 310 00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,858 That's just -- That's doorknob cum. 311 00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:12,971 You doing okay, Heidi? 312 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:16,007 I keep thinking Eric's going to change. 313 00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:20,945 [ Sighs ] Heidi... 314 00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,313 People like Cartman, 315 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,916 they always make things someone else's fault. 316 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,686 We all wrongly see ourselves as the victim sometimes, 317 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:30,321 but Cartman sees himself as the victim all the time. 318 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,791 He'll always find someone to blame for his shortcomings, 319 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:35,694 and because of that, he's never gonna change. 320 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,762 Before we started going out, 321 00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,998 I was in a really bad place. 322 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,201 I felt pushed away by society. 323 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,103 Then this guy came along 324 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,838 who told me all the things I wanted to hear, 325 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,708 and I just went with it. 326 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,409 Does that make me a bad person? 327 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:52,911 [ Rihanna's "Unfaithful" playing ] No, Heidi. 328 00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:55,780 Good people make bad decisions every day. 329 00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:58,416 I've been defending him for so long. 330 00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,151 I don't know how I'm gonna face people 331 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,820 if I finally give up. 332 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,389 ♪♪ 333 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,357 ♪ Story of my life ♪ 334 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,093 ♪ Searching for the right ♪ 335 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:11,362 ♪ But it keeps avoiding me ♪ 336 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,031 ♪ Sorrow in my soul ♪ 337 00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,466 ♪ 'Cause it seems that wrong ♪ 338 00:12:14,468 --> 00:12:18,203 ♪ Really loves my company ♪ 339 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:21,840 ♪ I don't wanna do this anymore ♪ 340 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,976 ♪ I don't wanna be the reason why ♪ 341 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:28,146 ♪ Every time I walk out the door ♪ 342 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:31,816 ♪ I see him die a little more inside ♪ 343 00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:35,019 ♪ I don't wanna hurt him anymore ♪ 344 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:39,190 ♪ I don't wanna take away his life ♪ 345 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:44,496 ♪ I don't wanna do this anymore ♪ 346 00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:46,197 [ Muffled ] Please, Heidi! 347 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,098 [ Sobbing ] 348 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,201 ♪ Whoa ♪ 349 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:53,538 ♪ Anymore ♪ 350 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:57,142 [ Knocking on door ] 351 00:12:57,144 --> 00:13:00,211 [ Crying ] 352 00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,380 Hi... 353 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,481 Hi... 354 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:06,050 Hi...Hi...Hi... 355 00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:10,388 [ Doorbell rings ] 356 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,892 Hi...Hi...Hi... 357 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,193 What do you want? 358 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:19,097 He-He-He-Heidi broke up with me, Token. 359 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,199 [ Whimpers ] 360 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,500 So? 361 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,836 I have nothing now, Token. 362 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,205 She was my whole world. 363 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,874 C-Can I just stay here with you please? 364 00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,910 What?! Why?! You still have a house! 365 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,379 I know how you feel now, Token. 366 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,247 To be pissed of at the world. 367 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,516 To feel completely screwed over by society. 368 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,918 I totally get it now. 369 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,886 I wanna do what you guys do 370 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,255 and go disrespect the flag and flip cars over and stuff. 371 00:13:46,926 --> 00:13:51,229 [ Doorbell rings ] 372 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,464 Token, pleeeeease. 373 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,300 I'm sorry for everything! 374 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:58,036 I really understand now how you guys feel. 375 00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:00,271 Please, what time is your family gonna go 376 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,973 disrespect the flag tonight? 377 00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,608 I wanna go with. Get outta here! 378 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,610 What's going on? Nothing, Mom. 379 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:09,013 Heidi broke up with meeeee... 380 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,616 Token, he's freezing. Come on in out of the snow. 381 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:14,252 Thank youuuuu... 382 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,386 No! 383 00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,291 Okay, we're safe to talk. 384 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,093 It's not safe! 385 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,995 Nowhere's safe, don't you understand? 386 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,597 We're all about to get killed! 387 00:14:25,599 --> 00:14:28,433 Shh! Keep your voices down! Look at this? 388 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:31,002 What are all these numbers? 389 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,937 The latest approval ratings. 390 00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:35,073 I've been researching our own independent poll. 391 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,475 The president is tanking. 392 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:41,279 These numbers are so low that we might just have an out. 393 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,648 Well, don't you guys see what this means? 394 00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,950 I don't know anything, I'm just a turtle. 395 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:48,887 It means that the swing voters are turning against him. 396 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,488 It's those people who matter. 397 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:53,124 Those are the ones who can finally turn this thing around! 398 00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,126 And then we don't have to get killed! 399 00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:57,195 We can't let the president know about this. 400 00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,297 Just let him-- What are you guys talking about? 401 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:00,665 No, nothing! 402 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:01,966 -Nope! -Nothing, Mr. President. 403 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,301 Oh, okay... 404 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,136 Just having a little chat or something? 405 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,038 It's an opinion poll, Mr. President. 406 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,606 Your numbers are down, 407 00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,608 and I wanted to show you so you could do something! 408 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,443 Oh, you bitch! 409 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,512 I was the one who researched the poll, Mr. President! 410 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,114 Let me see that... 411 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:19,450 Huh... Isn't that interesting. 412 00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,219 But it's not a problem. 413 00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,988 See, I know something about societal psychology 414 00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,990 that you three turd balls don't. 415 00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,525 Everything's gonna be fine. 416 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:31,396 [ Sniffling ] 417 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:35,633 So... 418 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,001 You guys about done with the soup? 419 00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,636 Don't you like it, Eric? 420 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,171 Well, yeah, no, it's great. 421 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,506 It's just -- well, what time do you guys 422 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,241 usually go out and disrespect the flag and stuff? 423 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,276 What? Oh, no... 424 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,211 Don't tell me you guys already disrespected the flag 425 00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,646 and flipped over cars today? Did I miss it? 426 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,348 What the hell are you talking about? 427 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,250 I told you not to let him in. 428 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,552 Please, I don't know what to do with all this anger and hurt! 429 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:57,055 I'm sorry your girlfriend broke up with you, Eric, 430 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,090 but maybe you'll get back together. 431 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:02,260 No, no, we've broken up before, but this time is different. 432 00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,395 I can tell. Something's changed with her. 433 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,164 Heidi won't even answer my phone calls. 434 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,166 Heidi? Turner? 435 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,568 The Turners' daughter? Yeah... 436 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,570 I thought she was with that Kyle Broflovski kid. 437 00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:17,575 What? I saw them at the park today holding hands. 438 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:20,745 [ Upbeat, whimsical music plays ] Kyle. 439 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,081 Kyle? 440 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,283 Kyle! 441 00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,352 Kyle, Kyle! 442 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,254 Kyle, Kyle, Kyle! 443 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,023 Kyle! 444 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:35,326 ♪♪ 445 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,261 Kyle... 446 00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:41,366 Kyle! 447 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:44,202 [ Laughing ] 448 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:49,440 ♪♪ 449 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:54,545 ♪♪ 450 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,414 Kyle... 451 00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:58,082 Yeah. Kyle. 452 00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:03,287 [ School bell rings ] 453 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:09,127 Cartman: Kyle! 454 00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:12,397 [ Western music plays ] 455 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,098 I should have known. 456 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,700 You lying snake! 457 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,335 Cartman, I didn't mean for things to happen 458 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:18,669 the way they did. 459 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,405 Did it bother you that I was happy? 460 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,540 Is that why you took her from me, Kyle?! 461 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,208 Cartman, you weren't happy. Shut up, Kyle. 462 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,743 All you did was bitch about her all the time! 463 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,078 You're not gonna talk your way out of this one! 464 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,813 This is the end, Kyle. 465 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,615 It's you or me! 466 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,683 Come on, Cartman, I- You took everything from me! 467 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,218 Stop it. 468 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,254 All you've ever done is work to ruin my life! 469 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,423 Well, now I'm gonna finally fight back! 470 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,058 Fuck him up, Eric! 471 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,092 Aah! [ Grunts ] 472 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,561 Fuck you, Kyle. 473 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,296 I'm sorry, Cartman. 474 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,332 You just have to accept that Heidi's moved on. 475 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,571 [ Girls giggling ] 476 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,174 Guys, I just wanna say here's to Heidi! 477 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,309 Welcome back to the land of the living! 478 00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,111 [ Cheering ] To Heidi! 479 00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,513 [ Chuckles ] Thanks, guys! Thanks for taking me out. 480 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,148 This is really fun! -No worries! 481 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,217 We're just glad you finally came to your senses! 482 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,785 Yeah! No kidding! 483 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,420 We seriously thought you might marry that piece of shit! 484 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,355 [ Laughter ] 485 00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:14,625 Well, you know he -- he actually had some good qualities too. 486 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,461 Uhh, yeah, like what? Racism? 487 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:18,229 Or the sociopath part? 488 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,665 [ Laughter ] 489 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,366 Yeah, I mean, no offense, Heidi, 490 00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,168 But what the fuck were you thinking?! 491 00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,570 Guys, she's admitted she made a mistake. 492 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,505 You make a mistake on your homework. 493 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,740 What Heidi did was more like a momentary loss of all sanity. 494 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,410 [ Laughter ] 495 00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,113 It was just what I believed in. 496 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,614 Don't worry, Heidi, 497 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,849 we're not gonna keep telling you we told you so! 498 00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:40,418 But we told you so! [ Laughter ] 499 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,320 The only thing I wanna know is 500 00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,522 How did you bring yourself to actually kiss him? 501 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,491 Girls: Ew! 502 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,826 Milly: Can you imagine? Eric Cartman's breath on your mouth? 503 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,162 -Ew! -Ugh! 504 00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,497 [ Imitating Cartman ] Heidi, come here. 505 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:53,865 I want to kiss you with my tongue! 506 00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:56,300 -Ew! -[ Laughs ] 507 00:18:56,302 --> 00:19:00,138 [ Sad music plays ] 508 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:05,810 ♪♪ 509 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,378 Hi, Eric. 510 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,213 What are you doing here? 511 00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:12,150 I don't know. I think I... 512 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:14,152 I just wanna make sure... 513 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,686 you're doing okay. 514 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,723 I want you to know... I'll always care about you. 515 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,525 [ Sniffles ] That's good to know 'cause, like, 516 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,160 nothing helps more when you're down 517 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,394 than knowing that your girlfriend who broke up with you 518 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,596 might care. 519 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,498 I'm sorry that I've hurt you. 520 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,635 I think maybe I am just stupid and I don't know what I want, 521 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,570 and it ends up hurting people. 522 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,739 No... 523 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:37,575 You need to know something, Heidi... 524 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,443 None of this is your fault. 525 00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,811 But I'm the one who-- No. 526 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:44,549 Heidi, none of this is your fault. 527 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,584 There's stuff I never told you. 528 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,386 It's time... 529 00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:49,487 It's time I did. 530 00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:57,895 [ Doorbell rings ] 531 00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:07,538 Hey. Hey! You all set to go? 532 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,907 I wanted to talk to you first. 533 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,909 Okay, sure. 534 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:15,313 Kyle, I've been under a lot of stress lately, 535 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:18,282 and it was all making me really confused. 536 00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:20,318 Yeah, that's understandable. 537 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,387 I was being manipulated, and I didn't even see it. 538 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,256 I never do. And... 539 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,258 I don't think you saw it either, Kyle. 540 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,793 What do you mean? 541 00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:31,729 I've come to realize that it's not my fault, 542 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,598 it's your fault, Kyle. 543 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,600 You made all this happen. 544 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,702 Made me question who I was -- But, Heidi, I thought-- 545 00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:40,805 Shh. But it's okay. You can't help it. 546 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,507 It's how you were raised... what you were taught. 547 00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:46,310 My heritage is Irish, so I'm prone to being moody. 548 00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:49,580 And you're heritage... well, you know... 549 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,449 You can be a little sneaky sometimes 550 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,984 and not even realize it. 551 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,922 I'm sorry, Kyle, but... 552 00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,258 everybody's trying to live life the best they can. 553 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,826 It's hard enough 554 00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:03,661 without your people always trying to get ahead. 555 00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:08,666 Dude... 556 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,401 did she just call me a dirty Jew? 557 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:23,514 ♪ Happy anniversary to you... ♪ Cha, cha, cha. 558 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:26,951 ♪ Happy anniversary to you... ♪ Cha, cha, cha. 559 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:30,521 ♪ Happy anniversary, Mr. President... ♪ 560 00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:34,725 ♪ Happy anniversary to you ♪ 561 00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:37,295 [ Applause ] Congratulations, Mr. President. 562 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:40,464 Looks like many more years of the same are to come. 563 00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,668 Oh, I don't think so... 564 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,704 I think the next three years are going to be even better. 565 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,005 [ Laughs ] 566 00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:50,841 [ Nervous laughter ] 567 00:21:54,946 --> 00:21:57,682 This is the end, Kyle. It's you or me! 568 00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:59,684 Come on, Cartman, I-- You took everything from me! 569 00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:01,419 Stop it. 570 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,554 All you've ever done is work to ruin my life! 571 00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,456 Well, now I'm gonna finally fight back! 572 00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:08,025 -Fuck him up, Eric! -Aah! [ Grunts ] 573 00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:09,527 Fuck you, Kyle.