﻿1
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,775
♪♪

2
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,176
Les:
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪

3
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,245
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

4
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,813
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

5
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,715
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪

6
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:19,784
Les:
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

7
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,620
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

8
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,521
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪

9
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,491
Les:
♪ Headin' on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

10
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:28,092
♪ Murpph mmmph mmph
mmmph mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪

11
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,994
♪ Murpph mmmph mmph mmmph
mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪

12
00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:32,931
Les:
♪ Come on down to South Park,
and meet some friends of mine ♪

13
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,070
♪♪

14
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,138
[ Bell jingles ]

15
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,273
Oh, my Gosh!
Oh, honey!

16
00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:44,743
I can't believe
you went to Jared!

17
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,912
This is a new beginning
for us, darling.

18
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,314
I'm just so excited
for our future.

19
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,316
[ ManBearPig roars ]

20
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:52,651
[ Man scream ]

21
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:55,521
[ Indistinct shouting ]

22
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,826
Man: Ooooh, yeah!
Take that, cop!

23
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,061
You want some,
too, sheriff?!

24
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:06,364
Yeah! There you go, bitch!

25
00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:08,500
Another dead cop!

26
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,802
And another one!

27
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,504
Yeah, you want some,
too, copper?!

28
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,539
You want a piece of this,
you god damn pigs?!

29
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,208
Officer, you have
to let us out of here!

30
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:17,475
We don't have
much time!

31
00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:19,478
Yeah, that's the last cop.
Let's get outta here!

32
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,179
Sir, you have
to listen to us.

33
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,714
ManBearPig is real.

34
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,816
Oh, God.
Here we go again.

35
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,284
"We gotta stop ManBearPig!

36
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:27,552
We gotta take it serious!"

37
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:28,720
But we do!

38
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:29,955
ManBearPig is gonna
kill everyone,

39
00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:30,822
and he is not
gonna stop!

40
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,024
Oh, well, then I guess

41
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:33,225
I don't have to do
anything about it.

42
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,659
Can you get off
your god damn video game

43
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,761
for five fuckin' seconds
so we can have a conversation?

44
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,364
Where the hell is Al Gore?
Why isn't he coming for us?

45
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:42,033
Nobody's coming for us, Stan.
They think we're murderers.

46
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:44,235
And that's why we have
to break out of here ourselves.

47
00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,437
Excuse me, officer?
Shut up.

48
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,005
I don't wanna hear anything
about ManBearPig

49
00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:49,140
and how we're all doomed.

50
00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:50,842
No, it's not that.
It's just...

51
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:52,210
I noticed you're still
riding you're horse

52
00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:53,578
all the way back to camp.

53
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:56,180
Yeah. Trains and stagecoaches
don't go to my camp.

54
00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:57,815
No they don't, but...

55
00:01:57,817 --> 00:02:00,252
you can use cinematic mode to
make it way easier on yourself.

56
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,753
♪♪

57
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:04,723
What the hell
are you talking about?

58
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,724
[ Screaming in distance,
explosions ]

59
00:02:06,726 --> 00:02:08,793
[ Siren wails ]

60
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,061
All right, everyone.

61
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,730
I realize
a lot of people have died

62
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,164
and most of the roads
have been destroyed

63
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,833
due to all the fires,
so I'd like to thank you all

64
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,168
for coming to tonight's
symposium --

65
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,003
"When Should I Start to Worry?"
[ Sirens wail in distance ]

66
00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:20,705
I'd like to make this
an open discussion

67
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:22,607
and hope we can
all participate in ways

68
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:24,142
that give better insight.

69
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,377
Yes, Mr. Clarkson?

70
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,412
I'm pretty sure
there's a ManBearPig.

71
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:29,815
And I'm fairly certain that
he has eaten two of my children

72
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,283
and destroyed our home.

73
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,950
When should
I start to worry?

74
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,419
That's an excellent
question.

75
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,087
There's definitely evidence
that all the death

76
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,557
and destruction around us is due
to a ManBearPig.

77
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:41,059
But no exact correlation
to a ManBearPig.

78
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,193
Definitely not,

79
00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:43,528
and that's why
we are all here,

80
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,830
to try to pinpoint
when should I start to worry?

81
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:49,234
I think that the time
to start worrying is coming.

82
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,003
I don't know if I believe
in ManBearPig or not,

83
00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,570
but I do know that I'm open

84
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:54,705
to the idea
of starting to worry.

85
00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:56,074
[ Scattered applause ]

86
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,343
I think Stephen echoes
a lot of our feelings right now.

87
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,113
Arghhh!

88
00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:03,014
Foolish mortals!

89
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,918
Your time is nigh!
Face your end!

90
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,921
Um, it looks like
Satan is here.

91
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,756
Should I start
to worry?

92
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:14,325
[ Scattered applause ]

93
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,328
[ Crickets chirping ]

94
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,496
[ Door rattles ]

95
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:21,433
[ Banging on door ]

96
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:22,467
Stan?!

97
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,035
We broke out of
jail, Dad.

98
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,038
Come on.
Get outta sight.

99
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,906
Cartman tricked
the guard.

100
00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:30,175
We all ran home to be
with our parents.

101
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:31,876
Where's Mom?
Your mom's been out

102
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,045
trying to find you a lawyer
and a therapist.

103
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,747
We've been doing
all we can, son!

104
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,616
Dad, that thing we saw
take Ned --

105
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,818
It was ManBearPig.
It was real.

106
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,053
What are you talking about.
It was just a bear.

107
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,888
No, Dad! It's --

108
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,523
Why do you keep
looking at the TV?

109
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,726
What? Why?
I dunno. What?

110
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:51,129
You've been playing
"Red Dead Redemption"?

111
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,531
A little bit!

112
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,099
I mean, when I'm not doing
all the stuff for you.

113
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:57,035
I thought you were working
on getting me out!

114
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,437
Sorry!
I needed a little break.

115
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,072
You're all the way
to Saint Denis?!

116
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,608
That's like 40 hours
of gameplay!

117
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,243
How could you --
Are you high right now?

118
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,312
I'm a little high, yes!

119
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:08,580
Oh, my God.

120
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,147
Oh, what?!
I'm sorry!

121
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:13,785
I'm sorry I needed to decompress
with all this shit going on.

122
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,854
I can't believe you would
get high and play video games

123
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:16,988
while your son
is in jail!

124
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,256
You're such an asshole!

125
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,525
Well, at least I'm not
a school shooter!

126
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:23,028
It wasn't me!
It was a demon named ManBearPig!

127
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:26,131
Oh, whatever!
"ManBearPig! ManBearPig!"

128
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,199
You sound like
your freakin' grandpa.

129
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,334
Yeah, because I learned a lot
about -- Woah, woah.

130
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:32,270
What are you talking about,
"I sound like grandpa"?

131
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,072
He's been talking about
ManBearPig coming

132
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,574
since I was fuckin' 14.

133
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,175
It's nothing new.

134
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,543
♪♪

135
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:41,513
Someone made a deal with it...
a long time ago...

136
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,548
Do you know how to craft
stamina tonics?

137
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:48,586
Mom?

138
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,221
♪♪

139
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:51,523
Dad?

140
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:59,698
♪♪

141
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,699
I don't know
if you can hear me.

142
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:04,168
I feel so alone right now.

143
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,004
I feel like the whole world
is falling apart

144
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,606
and somehow I'm supposed
to do something but...

145
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:11,777
I don't know
what that is anymore.

146
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:15,747
Al Gore: Fear not.
Do not give up on yourself.

147
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:18,649
You must keep
believing.

148
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,651
Mr. Gore?

149
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,153
Where have you been?!

150
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,889
It's me. Al Gore.

151
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,291
Yeah.
Where have you been?!

152
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:29,294
You cannot lose faith,
my child.

153
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:32,197
Even though everyone
is ripping on you.

154
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:33,932
Even though
they don't believe you,

155
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,934
and they're saying
you're just seeking attention

156
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,936
because you lost
the presidency,

157
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,038
you have to be strong.

158
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,873
What happened to you?!
Are you dead or something?

159
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,242
No! Not dead!

160
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,477
Just merely using
a flashlight on glass

161
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:48,780
to apply the Pepper's
ghost technique.

162
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,581
Wait, what?

163
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,183
Oh, God damn it!

164
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,718
You see my point?

165
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,320
Things aren't always
as they appear.

166
00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:59,224
You have to stay strong,
my little crusader.

167
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:00,859
I can't do this alone.
I need help.

168
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,093
I did, too.

169
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,395
Didn't get it.

170
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,063
What more do you
want from me?

171
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,631
I've atoned
for my mistake.

172
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,032
I'm sorry that we were
getting a lot

173
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,467
of different information
at the time.

174
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:10,769
You know,
even you were wrong

175
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,504
about a lot of the things
you said would happen --

176
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:14,005
What's that?

177
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,273
Nothing.
I didn't mean --

178
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:16,741
See ya later,
alligator.

179
00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,443
No, no, no, no!
I'm sorry!

180
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:19,978
I am sorry, please!
I'm cereal!

181
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,145
I didn't mean
to say you were wrong,

182
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:22,214
just that some
of your predictions

183
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,181
didn't happen --
Oh, yeah.

184
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,448
You're real cereal.

185
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:25,816
Please, please!
Please!

186
00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:27,886
I'll do anything!
I just want everyone to be safe!

187
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,188
All I was doing was trying
to be your mentor.

188
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:32,424
You know who
<i>my</i> mentor was?

189
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,959
Me! Al Gore!

190
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,828
Hello, Al Gore.

191
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,197
[ Gasps ] It's him!
Just in time, too.

192
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:42,567
Thanks for coming in my time
of crisis, Al Gore!

193
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,904
[ Police radio chatter,
sirens chirp ]

194
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:49,141
Sorry to call you down, sir,
but this is a bad one.

195
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:50,575
Oh, no.
That's fine.

196
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,377
I finally arrest
four school shooters

197
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,978
and can play some
"Red Dead Redemption,"

198
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:56,548
and then I get a call
about<i> another</i> school shooting.

199
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,350
This one<i> really</i> doesn't look
like a school shooting, sir.

200
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:02,254
Five different witnesses
say it was definitely...

201
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,354
ManBearPig.

202
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,789
God damn it!

203
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,925
There is no such thing as
a ManBearPig, you got that?!

204
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,762
We're working with facts here,
not goofball theories!

205
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,097
Yes, but, sir,
all the forensic scientists

206
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,699
say there are bear
and pig footprints --

207
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,334
Fuck scientists!

208
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:19,537
Why are you trying to
figure out what's going on

209
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,105
with scientists?!

210
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,641
The only thing
I want to know is

211
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,142
who committed
<i>this</i> school shooting

212
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,710
since our
school shooting suspects

213
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,379
are in jail!
Detective!

214
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:29,313
Detective, we just got word
from the station.

215
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,883
The four shooting suspects
broke out a while ago.

216
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,819
Oh, well, there you go!
It was them again!

217
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,821
Gee, I didn't need
any freakin' scientists

218
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,423
to figure that out,
did I?

219
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:41,293
Get 'em outta here!

220
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:42,660
Now how the fuck
did those kids

221
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:44,029
break out of my jail?!

222
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,763
Jenkins said
they tricked him.

223
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,332
Said they could show him a way
to fast travel

224
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,133
in "Red Dead Redemption"
by upgrading his camp,

225
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,735
and then
they just took off.

226
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:54,406
There's a way to fast travel
if you upgrade your camp?

227
00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:55,607
Jesus.

228
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,609
You better start
from the beginning.

229
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,013
Reporter:<i> More damage</i>
<i>and destruction today</i>

230
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,382
<i>as the death toll rises</i>
<i>to the hundreds.</i>

231
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:07,352
<i>Some see this as evidence</i>
<i>ManBearPig might be real,</i>

232
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,954
<i>while others say ManBearPig</i>
<i>is a fabrication</i>

233
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,456
<i>for political gains --</i>
[<i> ManBearPig roars</i> ]

234
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:14,625
[<i> Reporter screams</i> ]

235
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:16,328
Stan:
Grandpa?!

236
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:19,864
[ Sternly ]
What did you do?

237
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:21,665
Oh, Billy.
[ Chuckles ]

238
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,835
My grandson come to visit!

239
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,237
This isn't the first time
ManBearPig has shown up, is it?

240
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,505
What happened?

241
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,274
Billy,
I have Alzheimer's.

242
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,742
I don't even remember
what happened this morning.

243
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:33,311
Cut the shit, Grandpa.

244
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,013
You people knew.
You made a deal with that thing.

245
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,750
We thought
we'd be dead by now!

246
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,753
We didn't think we'd have
to live to see the consequences!

247
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:44,789
Aw, great! Just tell
the whole world, Margret!

248
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,025
Why did you old people
make a deal?!

249
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,961
We had a right to be happy,
too, ya know!

250
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,829
And you just signed away
the future?!

251
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,499
We didn't want to have to give
the demon his stuff back!

252
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,533
What stuff?!

253
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,635
All our cars.

254
00:08:57,637 --> 00:09:00,004
<i>And</i> premium boutique
ice cream.

255
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,339
You couldn't control
yourselves

256
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,107
so now that thing is here
to kill all of us!

257
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,443
Good fuckin' job, grandpa!

258
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,314
Kyle, come on,
we've got to go.

259
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,616
Go where?

260
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:14,285
I had a vision, Kyle.
Al Gore's ghost visited me.

261
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,420
Al Gore isn't dead.

262
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:17,956
Well, his ghost
came to me, Kyle.

263
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,257
He said he had a plan,
and we need to go.

264
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,257
Are you in or not?

265
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:21,626
Mrph rmh rmphm?

266
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:27,198
[ Crickets chirping ]

267
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,533
We shouldn't
be out here!

268
00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:29,734
We're wanted by
the police.

269
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,068
Shhh.
What was that?

270
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,938
Mrph rmhmhm rm.

271
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,373
This is where Al Gore
told me to go.

272
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,407
[ Growling ]

273
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,510
Mrph rmhmhm rm!

274
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:40,512
[ Roars ]

275
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:41,546
It's Satan!

276
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:42,980
What are you
doing here, Satan?

277
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:47,585
I was told to come here
by the spirit of Al Gore.

278
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,455
Us, too.
But why?

279
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:54,092
Remember...

280
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:58,996
even though I am gone,
you must still work together.

281
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,364
Work together how?

282
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,233
I'm not talking to you.

283
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:05,436
I'm talking to the ones
who are actually cereal.

284
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,438
You cannot
lose hope.

285
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:11,176
There is still much
you need to know.

286
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,183
[ Gunfire, screaming from a TV ]

287
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,719
Oh, you'd better not...

288
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:22,754
You bitch!

289
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,188
[ Screams ]

290
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,456
You're playing
Red Dead Redemption,
aren't you?

291
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,958
So? What of it?

292
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,394
What did I tell you about
playing on my save game, Maggie?

293
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:32,530
No. No. This is my life,
now, Harrison Yates.

294
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,066
I started over,
with me own save game.

295
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,534
What are you
talking about?

296
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:37,802
See for yourself.

297
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,570
You and all your talk
of wanting your own life.

298
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,139
I wanted something
new, too!

299
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,440
I started over
in the snow,

300
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,442
and worked my way up to
the new gang leader!

301
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,143
I have thousands
of dollars of me own.

302
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:47,846
I built a house
with John Marston.

303
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,780
I'm helping
<i>his</i> family, now.

304
00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:51,416
You fucking slut!

305
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:52,850
That's right,
Harrison Yates.

306
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,252
And what have you got?

307
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,053
A basic starter horse
and the $20 gambler's hat

308
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:57,188
you won in
a poker match.

309
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,023
I'm twice the man
you are, now!

310
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:00,625
Don't you talk
to me like that!

311
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,060
I'll talk
however I want!

312
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,028
I've completed every
hunting side mission,

313
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,897
found seven
legendary animals.

314
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,097
Found them where?

315
00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:08,332
I'm not telling.

316
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,802
You wanted your own life,
and now, you got it!

317
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,037
Maggie!

318
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,772
[ Cries ]

319
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:21,512
And in conclusion, let me just
say that you are the future.

320
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,681
You cannot give up hope.

321
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:28,053
I brought you all together
because I believe in you.

322
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,621
Okay, but what do
you want us to --

323
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:33,958
And sometimes, believing is
all that we need to be cereal.

324
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,500
Kyle:
Credits?

325
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,469
[ Light applause ]

326
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,370
Did you guys
like my movie?

327
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:47,605
What are you doing?

328
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:50,841
Exactly. I'm trying
to get you to ask,

329
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,643
"What would Al Gore do?"

330
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:55,179
Make a movie
starring you.

331
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:57,815
Yes -- to get you all
to not give up.

332
00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,583
To get you to fight!

333
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:04,122
You don't understand.
There is no fight.

334
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:08,092
A deal was made.
We do not know by whom.

335
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:10,795
But this demon
has grown stronger,

336
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:14,999
and no mortal
can do anything to stop him.

337
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:18,102
No mortal,
but what about you?

338
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:21,005
Why would I help mankind?

339
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:22,507
Satan, come on.

340
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,808
Are you really gonna stand there
and not say you appreciate

341
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:27,111
all the nice things humans
have done for you lately?

342
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,646
I mean, not sure
if you've noticed,

343
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:31,882
but we're pretty much doing
things your way up here.

344
00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:34,485
I...must admit,
people up here on Earth

345
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:38,188
have been doing a lot of
my work for me lately.

346
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:42,460
Maybe...maybe it is time
I did something for them.

347
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:48,666
Grampa: We were all young and
foolish back then, Billy.

348
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:51,202
We didn't think
about the future.

349
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:54,105
We just
wanted things.

350
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:58,142
This creature shows up,
and it seemed like a good deal,

351
00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:00,111
for everyone in town.

352
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,880
You didn't stop to think about
what it would mean for<i> us?</i>

353
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:05,483
Ah, Billy,
it's not that simple.

354
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:09,354
We thought about it. But our
town was so tiny back then.

355
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:12,656
We just -- We wanted nice
things other people had.

356
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:13,958
And you didn't give
two shits

357
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,759
what it would mean
for your grandchildren.

358
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:18,129
I didn't think
I'd<i> have</i> grandkids.

359
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,130
I didn't even
want children

360
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:23,300
That's why I always came
on Gram Gram's tits.

361
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,802
[ Groans ]

362
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,971
But then, one night, I'm having
sex with your grandma,

363
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,940
and she sticks her finger
in my ass.

364
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,042
She had sometimes
licked my ass before,

365
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,011
but this was the first time
she used her finger,

366
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,079
and I came inside her
like<i> that.</i>

367
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:37,147
I pulled out,
and your grandma was like,

368
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,883
"Did you just come in me?"

369
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:42,219
And I was like "Well, you stuck
your finger in my ass."

370
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:45,123
And that's basically
why you're here, Billy.

371
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,494
This is supposed to
make me feel better?

372
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,363
I'm just saying that I wasn't
thinking about the future

373
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:55,833
because your father was supposed
to be nothing but dried up crust

374
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,802
on Gram Gram's
titties.

375
00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,905
You people made a deal
with ManBearPig.

376
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:02,373
How? Where?

377
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:05,442
It doesn't matter, Billy.
It's too late now.

378
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:07,545
Tell me how
the deal happened,

379
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:10,648
so that I can try
to make it go away.

380
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:15,052
[ Screaming ]

381
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,322
[ ManBearPig roars ]

382
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,357
No! No!!

383
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,928
Satan:
ManBearPig!

384
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:28,499
♪♪

385
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:33,771
[ Roars ]

386
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:43,614
♪♪

387
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,516
[ Car alarms blaring ]

388
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:49,820
♪♪

389
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,989
[ Roars ]

390
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,557
[ Growls ]

391
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:57,728
♪♪

392
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:01,899
♪♪

393
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,402
Now watch...
[ Growls ]

394
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,270
[ Screams ]

395
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,372
♪♪

396
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:13,678
♪♪

397
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:18,982
♪♪

398
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:27,091
[ Roars ]

399
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,127
[ Coughing ]

400
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:31,962
Satan!

401
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:35,132
H-Hey. Hey kids

402
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,934
[ Coughs ]

403
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,635
I'm sorry.

404
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:41,939
No. Satan,
you can't die.

405
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,141
Everyone dies.

406
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:46,177
I just wish
I could have helped you.

407
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,946
[ Coughs ]
Oh, God. It hurts.

408
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,382
We can't do this
without you Satan.

409
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:54,084
You have to.
You have to keep trying.

410
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:56,220
If you can't stop ManBearPig,
how can we be --

411
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,589
You have to keep trying!

412
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,424
[ Coughs ]

413
00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:03,260
You...have to believe.

414
00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:06,030
[ Grunts ]

415
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,666
♪♪

416
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,801
Mmph.

417
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,703
Satan's dead.

418
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,339
[ Bell tolls ]

419
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:16,607
[ Crying ]

420
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:19,277
Come back.
Come back.

421
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,217
[ Ding! ]

422
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:29,320
Goodbye.

423
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:32,623
♪♪

424
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,693
Dude, this is
pretty fucked up right here.

425
00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:41,132
<i>And now</i>
<i>on Park County Cable Access,</i>

426
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:45,102
"Should We Start to Worry?"
with your host Jim Kimble.

427
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:47,571
As our town continues to burn
to the ground,

428
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:49,840
Satan has been slaughtered
and sent to heaven.

429
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,775
Should we start to worry?

430
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:54,078
Joining me now, an expert
on our county resources

431
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,546
and preparedness, Alec Vaughn.

432
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,315
Alec, should
we start to worry?

433
00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:00,351
Jim, I think
we should definitely consider

434
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,685
starting to worry.

435
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,053
Satan was one of the most
powerful entities,

436
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,721
supposedly,
in the universe,

437
00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:07,224
and ManBearPig annihilated him
like a bitch.

438
00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:09,192
I don't think we should
waste any more time

439
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,861
underestimating
the importance

440
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,330
of beginning to think about
starting to worry.

441
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:17,401
Also joining us is the former
Vice President, Al Gore.

442
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:20,904
Mr. Gore, do you believe
it's time for us to deliberate

443
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,873
the process
of starting to worry?

444
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,576
[ Echoing ] If by worrying,
you mean getting cereal,

445
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,578
then an emphatic "yes!"

446
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,580
I don't think
there's any more room

447
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,949
for not considering
underestimating the importance

448
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,318
of beginning to start
the process of mulling over

449
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,687
the conceptualization
of starting to worry.

450
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,523
And the time to do it is...
very soon.

451
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,491
Hey, what
are you doing?

452
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,861
I'm being
a spiritual mentor.

453
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:46,564
These people are
depending on me.

454
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,466
No, they're
depending on<i> me!</i>

455
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:51,935
<i>I'm</i> depending on you,
goofball!

456
00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:55,973
[ Screams and sirens wailing ]
Aah!

457
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,509
All right,
looks like we're clear.

458
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:01,612
I can't believe it's
the weekend, and I'm at school!

459
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:02,947
This is
the best place to hide.

460
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,248
Why? Of all the places
we could hide,

461
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,583
why do I have to sit here
in school?

462
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,117
Mmph!

463
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:08,852
Where's the last place anyone
would think we would hide?

464
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:11,321
The scene of our supposed crime,
dummies! We're safe here.

465
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,423
I'd rather be in jail
than in school.

466
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,258
[ Door knob rattling ]

467
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,360
Mm mmph!

468
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:17,895
Guys? Guys!

469
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,230
Stan!

470
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,831
Guys, thank God!
Just stay right there, Grandpa!

471
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,267
I know all about the deal.
I know what we have to do.

472
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,469
How'd you
find us here?

473
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,703
I figured you guys
were hiding somewhere.

474
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:26,871
This is the first place
I thought to look.

475
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,205
Mm-hmm!

476
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:29,507
Yeah, I guess<i> we're</i> dummies,
huh, Kenny?

477
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,141
Yeah, I guess
<i>we're</i> dummies.

478
00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:32,776
Guys, listen --
My stupid grandpa

479
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,212
and a bunch of other old people
made the deal with ManBearPig.

480
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:36,780
It's here because
of their greediness.

481
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,182
Grandpa:
Everyone's greedy!

482
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,650
Shut up, Grandpa!

483
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,052
I know where to go,
but I need your help.

484
00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:43,487
I'm going to face ManBearPig
and put an end to this deal.

485
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:46,524
Are you crazy? We just saw
ManBearPig take down Satan.

486
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:47,958
What the hell are we supposed to
do against it?

487
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,159
We have to try.

488
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:50,595
[ Siren wails ]

489
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:53,997
Man: Attention school
shooters...again.

490
00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:57,067
We have you surrounded...again.

491
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,269
Come out
with your hands up!

492
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:03,641
We just sat in school
for nothing.

493
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,644
Listen!
We know what to do now!

494
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,312
Drop to the ground and put
your hands on your heads.

495
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,515
No, I need
to face ManBearPig.

496
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:13,784
We have orders!
You're coming with us!

497
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:15,352
Yates:
Belay those orders!

498
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:20,024
♪♪

499
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:24,495
I've been a fool
denying ManBearPig's existence,

500
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:27,564
and I didn't realize it
till I went home.

501
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:30,868
My wife...had started
a new life without me.

502
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,936
I wanted to give up,

503
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,439
but instead,
I robbed a bank in Saint Denis,

504
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,707
and I went to an island
north of Cuba.

505
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:41,111
After I came back, that's
when it all caught up with me.

506
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,146
All the stagecoaches
I had robbed,

507
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:46,183
all the horses I had stole --
for what?!

508
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,887
We're nothing if we don't
believe in each other!

509
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:52,556
And God damn it, it's never
too late to start trying

510
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:54,292
to do the right thing.

511
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,660
You think you know
what that is boys?

512
00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:58,728
Yes, I do.

513
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:00,364
We're going to face
ManBearPig

514
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:05,435
and put an end to this deal
once and for all.

515
00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:10,574
Okay, sign here...
and here.

516
00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:12,910
These documents state
merely that you've been granted

517
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,979
power of attorney by your town
and that you wish to attempt

518
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:17,715
to void
the current agreement.

519
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,617
Kay...

520
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,352
Since this is
a renegotiation,

521
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,620
you agree that ManBearPig
has right to compensation

522
00:20:23,622 --> 00:20:26,123
for termination,
and you will give up all rights

523
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,924
to specified assets.

524
00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:30,994
Yes. Yes, we agree to give back
cars and ice cream.

525
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:32,229
[ ManBearPig grunts ]

526
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,031
Uh, let me confer
with my client.

527
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,933
[ Grunting softly ]
Uh-huh. Got it. Yes.

528
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:38,368
My client says
that he --

529
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:39,402
[ Grunting softly ]

530
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:42,306
Kay. Uh, mm-hmm.

531
00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:44,108
ManBearPig has
no interest

532
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,909
in you giving up cars
and ice cream.

533
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,478
Well, what's he want everyone
to give up?

534
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,582
[ Crowd murmuring ]

535
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,918
There! There he is!
There he is!

536
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,319
Is it over?!

537
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:58,489
Um, he says he'll never
come back again, but...

538
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:01,692
we have to give up soy sauce
and Red Dead Redemption 2.

539
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:05,363
All: Ohhhh!

540
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:12,002
Just plain rice?

541
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,605
Yeah,
that's what I thought.

542
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:18,575
Um, could we possibly talk about
restructuring a new deal?

543
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:20,544
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

544
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:22,913
No. No. Just, like, can we do,
like, a renegotiation?

545
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:24,948
All right,
sign here and here

546
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,852
that you are entering
a renegotiation with ManBearPig.

547
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:30,221
-Where do I sign that?
-Right there.

548
00:21:30,223 --> 00:21:32,223
Okay.
Yeah, I thought so.

549
00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:33,624
Shut up, Grandpa.

550
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,192
Man: And sign here
that ManBearPig has rights

551
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:37,327
to the lives of all children
in third world countries.

552
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:38,862
Kay, got it.

553
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:40,564
And you agree
to ignore ManBearPig

554
00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:42,066
until he returns
in five years,

555
00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:44,001
in which time the carnage
will be a thousand fold.

556
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,803
Kay, where
do I sign that?

557
00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:53,577
Arghhh!

558
00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:55,479
Foolish mortals!

559
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:59,383
Your time is nigh!
Face your end!

560
00:21:59,385 --> 00:22:02,385
Um, it looks like
Satan is here.

561
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:04,220
Should I start
to worry?

562
00:22:04,222 --> 00:22:05,690
[ Scattered applause ]

