[grunts]
Hold all my calls.
[giggles]
♪ Boss Baby ♪
♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪
♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪
♪ Stroller rolling Up and down the boulevard ♪
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪
♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪
♪ Change my diaper, son, where's my bib? ♪
♪ Don't pacify, you just got to pay me ♪
-♪ Who's in charge? ♪ -♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪
[grunting]
Big day. You ready for this?
You're never ready to meet the Board of Directors, Templeton.
You just hitch up your diaper and pray to whatever gods of business you serve.
-Boo! -Ah! Templeton!
Stress breaker.
Unsuccessful. But thank you.
I'll see you after my big promotion.
[inhales, exhales]
Next stop, CEO.
[grunts]
[girl baby] Boss Baby!
Your Boardly Eminences.
Let us speak of business and be profitable.
There is a void at Baby Corp.
We stand without our chief executive officer.
[gasps] New CEO? I suppose we do need one of those.
You thwarted the evil of Bootsy Calico.
You delivered this corporation from certain ruin.
Just doing my job, spectacularly.
This board can envision no one more qualified than you...
Oh, stop.
...to introduce our new CEO.
I accept-- Wait. Did you say introduce the new CEO?
Yes.
Not be the new CEO?
Why would we say that?
You're not the new CEO.
-Really? -[girl baby] Yes.
-Can I get a moment to-- -[boy baby] No.
[feedback whines]
It gives me great pleasure to introduce a real up-and-comer
from the Research and Development Department.
Anyway, meet your new boss.
[upbeat music playing]
[boy baby] Synergy, mobility, idea-ing, leadership, followership. Baby Corp.
Oh, come on. What does any of that even mean?
Tomorrow's baby is today.
Welcome Turtleneck Superstar CEO Baby!
[all cheering]
What is tomorrow?
-[boy baby] Tuesday. -Tomorrow is today waiting to happen.
-[girl baby] Awesome! -[boy baby 2] I understand it.
-That just blew my baby mind. -[all cheering]
And today is yesterday's future, and the future is now.
I'm sure some of you are wondering who I am. "Why is she CEO?"
I'll tell you why.
Because this job isn't about kissing butts or stabbing backs.
It's about making the impossible inevitable.
Babies. Cute to look at? Sure.
Fun to snuggle? Mm. Yes.
Pleasant to smell? [blows raspberry] No.
But our one great flaw is no more.
[boy baby] Stinkless Serum.
A revolutionary breakthrough in baby technology.
-No matter how stinky the baby... -[foghorn blares]
[woman screams]
-...with one single dose... -[explosion]
...bad smells go bye-bye for good.
No sour milk spit-up, no diaper fumes, no nothing!
Just imagine the effect on baby love.
I give you...
Stinkless Serum!
[all gasping]
No way.
Stinkless Serum is this company's rocket ship,
and it only flies one way:
futureward.
[cheering]
[laughs] Can you believe that?
-Finally, no more diapers. -Still need those, big guy.
Sorry you didn't get the job, sir. You okay?
Stinkless Serum, Stace. She earned the job.
So I just accept it and...
[grunts]
[gulping, gasps]
[grunting]
[whimpering]
I hate cookies!
Ah!
[shouts]
[gulping]
There you are. That took forever! Where have you been?
It's not where I've been, Templeton. It's where I'm going. Nowhere.
-What happened? -I don't wanna talk about it!
Hey, come on, we're brothers. We can trust each other with everything.
-[horn honks] -[Dad] She's here!
Tim, bring the baby down!
Timmy!
Gigi!
So, this is the new guy.
[whispers] Gigi is what we call Dad's mom. She's our grandma.
Why is the baby in a suit?
[chuckles] Yeah, he cries if we put him in anything else.
And you just let him boss you around like that?
-Janice does. -What?
How does he even get the tie on?
-Baby, no. -Oh, really?
Somebody does think he's the boss of the house.
Yeah, maybe he's running a secret business out of his crib. [chuckles]
[Gigi] Ha!
That Tim Templeton imagination.
Learn from your brother's example, kid.
I worked in a steel mill for 35 years, and I can tell you,
the last thing the world needs is another boss.
You wanna go toe-to-toe with your Gigi, tiny?
-Come on! -He's just a baby!
Okay, Mom, let's go get your luggage.
What is wrong with you? That's our Gigi.
And what kind of grandmother goes by "Gigi"?
"Grandma," "Nana," "Nona," "Baachan," "Ya-Ya."
Those are the accepted terms of endearment for--
Seriously, what happened at work?
[sighs] The board picked someone else for the CEO job.
I peaked before I even grew my second tooth.
It's gonna be okay. You and me are still a team, right?
And Gigi's here.
Trust me on this one. Grandmas make everything better.
-How long are you staying? -All week.
Your father and I both have a round of job interviews.
For the same job. So one of us is definitely getting it.
I bet I know which.
But I don't like playing favorites. [whispers] It's your dad.
So, while Mom and I are jumping through hiring hoops,
you boys get to whoop-de-do with your Gigi.
Come on, Mom, let's get you settled in the baby's room.
-Uh, say what? -Gigi's gotta sleep somewhere, kiddo.
So where's the baby supposed to sleep all week?
Wait!
[Dad] You roommates get settled.
We've gotta get the baby's room Gigi-friendly.
I find any stray neckties, I'm burning them.
Please don't light fires in our house.
[Gigi] I won't be tamed, Janice.
I hate everything about this day.
-What are you doing? -Nothing.
I just wasn't expecting a roommate.
I like having my own place for my own private stuff.
So when it's my problems, you're all, "Brother, brother, brother, no secrets."
But the moment it intrudes
on your inner sanctum of secret dinosaur toys...
Nobody said this was dinosaur-related!
Uh-huh. This is weird, right? It feels weird.
It's just one week, and then we get our own rooms back.
We're still brothers.
Just maybe we don't have to share everything.
Fine. Maybe I'll just hit the office,
see how things are settling in under the new chief jerk face.
[baby monitor chiming]
Boss Baby, please report to the CEO's office immediately.
Gah! They can read my thoughts!
I take it I'm fired.
Fire is for roasting marshmallows. Are you a marshmallow?
I believe I am not. Should I be?
Job. Your team, top secret, highest importance.
You've heard of Stinkless Serum?
It's possible we all saw a huge light show about it, like, two hours ago.
-It is real. It works. -[gasps]
One problem. This is it.
You don't like the color?
I mean, that's literally all the serum we have.
One vial.
We cracked the formula by accident,
or as I call it, "coincidental innovation."
[coughs]
[sniffs]
Simmons, how long were you wearing this diaper?
Um, two weeks.
Success! [chuckles] Show me the chemical formula.
I was drawing choo-choos.
[Turtleneck Superstar] R&D babies, very smart,
but still babies. Not great at taking notes.
Spectacular trains, though.
Can we re-crack the formula?
-Uh... -Undoubtedly. When? Mystery.
So, until then, this vial isn't safe here.
If word gets out, all our enemies will be coming after it.
And if Bootsy Calico could break in here--
Anyone could.
Spies everywhere. We need the serum off-site.
With you, man in the field. Can you keep it safe?
-I can find a place-- -La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
Tell no one. Not me, no. I don't want to know.
Secure, secret. Field-team babies only.
Absolutely. And Tim, of course.
Your brother? Not a baby. He stays out the loop.
Ma'am, I trust Templeton implicit--
Can we talk about the future?
Uh, I believe you said it's a rocket ship.
I have one job as CEO: deliver Stinkless Serum.
Legacy, done. After that, I have no interest in running this company.
-Which means... -We'll need a new CEO?
Maybe even a certain VP of field operations,
if he can really show me something.
I still don't feel comfortable leaving my brother out--
Don't answer with your mouth. Answer with your future.
[Tim's voice] We're still brothers.
Just maybe we don't have to share everything.
I'm in.
Hold it tight, Boss Baby. The future is now in your hands.
-Where you gonna hide it, boss? -I don't know yet.
We need this out of sight, ASAP.
The longer it's in the open, the more dangerous for all of us.
Spies everywhere.
When I was in daycare,
we used to take field trips to this abandoned missile silo,
and I know for a fact you can lose a whole person in there.
Ha! Try to take my blankie, Brayden.
-No missile silos. -[groans]
[Tim and Gigi laughing]
Incoming. Scatter!
[gasps] Oh, right, roommates.
-You wanna still play here or-- ow! -[thuds]
This is my room. What is wrong with you?
Not everyone's as sweet as you, Timmy.
You gotta be firm with the pushy ones. Push right back.
If he doesn't wanna hang out with us, maybe he could play downstairs.
[whines]
-[Gigi] Nope. -[Boss Baby gasps]
Who's the boss now, kid? Boom. Gigi.
So, Timmy, I lost a pill box in my purse last week.
Can you find it for me?
Yes! Gigi purse-diving. Watch this, baby.
[inhales, exhales]
Got it.
I don't know how you do it!
I can never find anything in that purse.
Well, I'll be. It's full of gummy duckies. Quack, quack.
Thanks, Gigi.
[munching]
We should hang out all afternoon.
[groans]
-[both chuckling] -Yeah!
When the tornado hit, it lifted the entire dump truck into the air.
We flew across three states.
[Tim] This one's for reptile rescue.
And this one's for putting stickers neatly on my helmet.
[both laughing]
"Though the world can be scary and life sometimes seems unfair-y,
you can sleep the whole night through. I'll always be watching you."
Creepy.
That was fun, right? Gigi is so great.
-Where are you going? -Nowhere. Go back to sleep.
-What's in your hand? -Not important.
-Sleep. Back to it. Go. -Come on, what's going on?
Don't worry, Templeton. We're still brothers.
Just maybe we don't have to share everything.
Hey, you can't use my words on me. Those are my words.
[Mom] Tim, sweetheart, it's time to go to sleep!
[Gigi] Challenge authority, Timmy! Don't let the man keep you down!
-[Dad] Mom! -[Mom] Nobody comes out of that room!
Sorry. I just wanted to help.
You wanna help? Tell me you're not a snorer.
How would I know? I don't share a room with myself.
Swell. Oh, that's lumpy.
[yawns]
Thanks for keeping the snoring down, Templeton. Huh?
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
Staci, Jimbo, get over here now! We've got a problem.
[Staci] We're still under the bed, sir.
Anyone could've taken it. Guinea pig assassins, ninja puppies.
Horse pirates.
Miniature horse pirates!
[gasps] Aw!
-[door closes] -[shushing]
Is this about that thing under your pillow?
-He took it! Death to traitors! -[screams]
She's so sharp!
Staci, calm down. Breathe.
Nobody said Templeton actually took the vial.
Oh. I did.
-[chuckles] Do you know what you've done? -[yells]
You've ruined Baby Corp. You've ruined me!
Stop shaking me! I just ate a very milky breakfast!
I didn't steal your whatever it is. I just hid it better.
Go on.
Never hide anything under your pillow.
If the tooth fairy doesn't get it, Mom and Dad will.
I once hid a caramel apple under there
-after Halloween... -Skip ahead.
I know the roommate thing is weird, but I'm not gonna let you get busted.
What's the point of being brothers if we can't totally trust each other?
So do you trust me enough to tell me what's in that vial?
Absolutely.
If you trust me enough to show me what's in your secret dinosaur drawer.
It's private. None of your business. You didn't look, right?
Fine, we don't have to share everything.
So, where's my vial?
In the one place Mom and Dad would never dare to look. Gigi's purse.
The serum is in Gigi's purse? Gigi, our grandmother?
It's perfect. Not even Gigi can find anything in that purse.
It's like a portal to another dimension.
You put something in there, it's never coming out.
Unless I get it out.
I've been diving for Gigi's lost stuff in that purse for the past seven years.
I'm the only one who can crack the code.
-Then crack out my vial and give it back! -Okay. She's up in the kitchen.
"Hi, Timmy. A nice elderly gentleman invited me
to check out the local senior center. Back by lunch.
Give yourself a hug for me, kiddo. Your brother can stay in his crib."
She is a terrible grandparent.
-Senior center, let's go. -No.
I can't go into that place! Do you know what they do to babies in there?
[whimpering]
Whoa, Jimbo.
-It's just elderly people. They're nice. -Then go get my vial!
You don't think that'd be suspicious? "Hey, Gigi, just came by
to watch the square dancing. Can I have your purse?"
I need that vial, Templeton. My future's in there.
If our being brothers means anything, you will find a way to fix this.
Okay. If I can't get into that purse, you are.
I'm sorry, come again?
Welcome to the art of purse diving.
Your training begins...
now.
-Shut your eyes. -Ah!
Find the pretzel. You have ten seconds.
Jimbo, count for me.
One...
Staci, count for me.
Ten, nine...
Okay. Thirteen-inches wide.
-Canvas, maybe faux leather. -Time's up!
Don't think. Feel.
Imagine the pretzel is everything you ever wanted.
It's within reach.
Uh... Gah!
-I grabbed a jack. -Time's up.
You didn't want it enough. Go!
-[ticking] -Four, three...
The pretzel is that CEO job.
-I got it! -[alarm clock ringing]
Congratulations. You're ready.
-Yes! -Whoo-hoo! Go, boss!
Thank you, sensei, but I'm confused. Won't it be even more suspicious
if I'm the one showing up and raiding Gigi's purse?
If you have the right distraction, she'll never know you were there.
[gasps] Secret dinosaur drawer.
Whatever happens in that senior center,
you have to promise you won't make fun of me.
Uh, I can't enter a binding contract without reading the fine print. Ah!
-Promise! -Okay!
[Staci] We'll never get past them all.
-There! -Just wait for my signal,
-then go for the purse. -And just how
do you plan to keep those dinosaurs busy?
Funny you should mention dinosaurs.
Uh, Gigis and gentlemen.
Timmy! What a nice surprise.
Timothy Templeton of Do-Good Trooper Squadron 505
is proud, I guess, to present my project
for the Dinosaur Knowledge helmet sticker,
"Song About Dinosaurs."
Huh. What's so embarrassing about that?
[pop music playing]
Oh.
Now or never, boss. Go!
A child performing a song? Have we died and gone to heaven?
You express yourself, Timmy!
He's my grandson. The good one.
[gasps]
♪ Well, the Brachiosaurus Is herbivorious ♪
♪ And he likes to eat plants And I like to dance ♪
-Ah! -Hmm.
Boss, she can't see you if you don't move.
Ooh! She's got glasses!
Oh, it's a baby!
[shrieks]
-Go, tell the world my story! -[kissing]
[woman] Look at those cheeks. Who's a little man?
[inhales]
Oh. It's so cold and... moist?
♪ Triceratops, three big horns That's two more than a unicorn ♪
♪ He's also got spikes Coming out of his rear ♪
♪ But he's extinct so we have no fear ♪
He gets his musical skills from me.
-My grandson's an astronaut. -Not as good.
Just dump it out, boss.
Not yet. We'll blow our cover.
♪ Velociraptor coming at ya ♪
Ha, yah, hoo, ha-ha, yah!
[Gigi] It's poetry, Timmy. Let me find you a candy.
Dinosaur dance break!
Ha! I love it!
This may be the most beautiful and embarrassing thing I've ever seen.
Get the serum. Ten seconds!
Go!
[exhales]
-Think about what I want. -[knuckles crack]
♪ All these lizards Are shaking the ground ♪
♪ But the Tyrannosaurus wrecks ♪
I got it!
[applause]
Bravo, Timmy.
[grunts]
-Now what is a baby doing here? -[coos]
[Gigi] Hey, Frederic.
That's Frederic Estes, the nice man who invited me here.
-I want you to meet my Timmy. -No time, gotta go. I love you. Bye!
Thanks for helping get this back.
You, uh, really went all out.
You promised you wouldn't make fun.
No. I honestly admire how open you are with everything.
[sighs]
It's called Stinkless Serum. And it could erase all bad baby smells forever.
Whoa!
Yeah, "Whoa." Now help me hide it.
You know, it was touch and go in that purse dive,
but I just closed my eyes and did what you told me.
Thought about what I wanted.
A big brother I can always count on, but who is not my roommate.
Agreed. On both parts.
There you are!
Great news. Drumroll--
I can't wait! We got the job.
Both of us! They couldn't choose.
And with your parents both at work,
guess who's staying to help out all summer.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Wait, the baby's in my room all summer?
He ain't stayin' in my room.
The world is a sewer.
-[glass thuds] -Chupacabra!
[groans, grunts]
[both panting, grunting]
-Jimbo, what have they done to you? -So many kisses. [grunts]
[sniffs] You smell like old towels.
Old smells.
Templeton!
That creepy old man who was staring at me like he knew something.
Suppose he did know something.
He's the one who invited Gigi to the senior center in the first place.
What if he was gathering intel on our family?
What if he knows about Baby Corp and Stinkless Serum?
I love seniors, but they do have as many weird smells as babies.
If they knew about the serum, they'd definitely want it.
-You think...? -We may just have a new archnemesis.
Frederic Estes.
[theme song playing]
♪ Boss Baby ♪