1
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,970
-[boy grunts]
-[phone dings]

2
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,596
Hold all my calls.

3
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,730
-[giggling]
-[lullaby plays]

4
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,401
♪ Boss Baby ♪

5
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:25,439
♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss
Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪

6
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,025
♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪

7
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,661
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

8
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,159
♪ Stroller rolling
Up and down the boulevard ♪

9
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,740
♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

10
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,961
♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪

11
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,669
♪ Change my diaper, son
Where's my bib? ♪

12
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,420
♪ Don't pacify
You just got to pay me ♪

13
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,962
-♪ Who's in charge? ♪
-♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪

14
00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:53,851
[shouting]

15
00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:57,023
The Jonathan Pumpernickel
Junior Illusionist Magic Kit

16
00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:58,728
with two-hour instructional video?

17
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,558
Uh... yes.

18
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,939
There are many prizes to earn
in this year's Do Good Troopers'

19
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,442
Magazine Sales-tacular!

20
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:08,443
[Tim screams] How many magazines
do I have to sell to get this?

21
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:10,530
[gasps] I can do that!

22
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:15,327
We split up, talk twice as fast,
we hit four times the houses.

23
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:16,528
Speed and volume!

24
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:17,905
Namashitas!

25
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:19,750
[doorbell rings]

26
00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:23,707
Ever wanted to travel the world
from your own living room?

27
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,712
"That sounds impossible, Tim!"

28
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:26,634
But is it?

29
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,125
Magazines!

30
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:32,010
Oh, sorry. I just bought a subscription
from one of those twin girls.

31
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,637
Namashitas!

32
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:35,434
Hi, I'm Tim.

33
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,102
I'm wondering if you'd like
some magazine subscriptions.

34
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:41,181
Oh, one of those fast-talking twins
already got to me.

35
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:42,644
Namashitas!

36
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:45,435
Namashitas?

37
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,437
This hood is all magged up.

38
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,526
I'm not giving up, Namashitas.

39
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,573
I have a secret weapon,
a business weapon.

40
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:58,123
[whistles]

41
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,408
-[Scooter grunting]
-You got the fire, Buskie!

42
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:03,155
-Now will yourself to the next handle!
-[Scooter yelps]

43
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,168
[Scooter thuds, grunts]

44
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,038
Sticky Fingers, face-first dive!

45
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,497
[slide squeaking]

46
00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:10,917
[Sticky Fingers grunting]

47
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,840
Reflexes, McIntosh!
Speed, agility!

48
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,216
-[Jarreau grunts, thuds]
-[monitor chimes]

49
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,973
-What's the good word, Jimbo?
-Nothing.

50
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,305
I just miss our "us" time.
What's up with you?

51
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,311
Just trying to whip
this playgroup into shape,

52
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,893
earn my way back to Baby Corp.

53
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,768
Any scuttlebutt on my inevitable return?

54
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,480
Nothing, but we do have a new CEO.

55
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,936
Her name is Rattleshake CEO Baby.

56
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,950
Wait, that baby from Sales?

57
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:36,908
They pulled her off the road
and plopped her into the big high chair?

58
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,117
She's driving everyone crazy!

59
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,580
-Look!
-[Rattleshake cackling]

60
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,540
-[all gasp]
-[cackling] Laugh with me!

61
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,290
-[cackling]
-[Peg] Aah!

62
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,828
-Yeah! Hear that rattle?
-[rattle rattling]

63
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,536
That's the rhythm of life
coming at you like a puma.

64
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:50,837
-You like pumas?
-I--

65
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:51,880
-Roar!
-[screams]

66
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:55,303
-[Rattleshake] Everybody likes pumas.
-[whispers] Help us.

67
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:59,176
Sorry, Big J, but the sooner I get
my field team into mission condition,

68
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,972
the sooner I'll be back
undermining terrible CEOs with you.

69
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,976
-Let's pencil in some face time.
-Yay! I'll bring the pencil!

70
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,312
I really, really need your help
to earn this magic kit.

71
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,113
Who's Jonathan Pumpernickel?

72
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,478
You've never heard
of the Wizard of Illusion?

73
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:16,487
One time, Pumpernickel turned a banana
into a cruise ship into a penny!

74
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:18,735
I'm gonna be just like him!

75
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,664
Hello. My name is Tim Templeton.

76
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,123
Backwards, it's spelled "magic"!

77
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:26,044
[squawks]

78
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:33,802
Yeah, I'd rather be a penny.

79
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:37,304
I just need your help selling magazines
to the neighbors.

80
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:40,643
Templeton, I wish you all the best
on your career path of sorcery,

81
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,010
but engaging me
would waste both of our time.

82
00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,677
You have all the tools you need
for door-to-door sales--

83
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,807
you're enthusiastic and you draw breath.

84
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,398
But the Namashita twins
beat me to all the customers.

85
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:53,403
I'm sorry, but right now,
I have a team to mold.

86
00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:56,028
Buskie, get your thumbs
out of Dakota's nostril!

87
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,820
-[babies babbling]
-Oh, my. No, no, no! Put them back in!

88
00:03:58,905 --> 00:03:59,855
[Tim] Check the ledger.

89
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:01,738
We promised to help each other equally

90
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,954
once school started sucking up
all my time.

91
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,495
You said, "Keep a ledger."

92
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,707
Because ledgers don't lie.

93
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:11,879
And I am in the red... mm, deeply.

94
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,923
You've barely helped me at all.

95
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:15,053
Well played, Templeton.

96
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,509
You know how I hate accruing debt
with no revenue flow.

97
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:18,590
Fine. Walk with me.

98
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,222
The twins cornered the traditional market,

99
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,932
but as you can see,
the customers still exist.

100
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,430
You just need to figure out a new angle.

101
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,935
The right angle will open a new market.

102
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:33,309
Then, the Namashitas' customers
will be ready to buy again.

103
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,653
-From you.
-I knew you could help!

104
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:39,363
Timothy Templeton, Wizard of Illusion
will soon be real!

105
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,451
Whoa! How'd I get here?

106
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,450
[gasps] Wha--? Where--?

107
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,825
Oh-ho-ho! [laughs]

108
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,161
Find that sales angle!

109
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,326
I'll have my team brainstorm ideas
if it'll knock more time off that ledger.

110
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,496
[gasps] Oh, goody!

111
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,673
-The mommies and daddies are here!
-[grunts]

112
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,921
What happened
to you scratched-up dirtballs?

113
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,890
No offense, but look how clean
and injury-free my Baby Chubsies is.

114
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,259
Now, that's parenting.

115
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,555
Don't let her psych you out.

116
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,061
You're all superstars... in progress.

117
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,524
We'll pick it up tomorrow.

118
00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:15,363
-After you help with my thing.
-Fine.

119
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,476
I need a magazine sales hook
for my brother.

120
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,568
No wrong answers.

121
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,199
[Sticky Fingers farts]

122
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,069
[babies giggling]

123
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,116
Ho, boy.

124
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,870
Achtung, babies!

125
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:28,907
As a result of our
recent filth-based horseplay,

126
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,575
my mommy lady has arranged
a guest presentation

127
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,794
to make all your parents
as good as she is.

128
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,245
-Hooray!
-Hooray! This should be useless.

129
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,338
Oh, here's the squirts.

130
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,761
Wow, you make 'em cute in this town, eh?

131
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,007
What's in the water, "Adorablesium"?

132
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,262
[parents laugh]

133
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:46,846
Right, who's first?

134
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,465
Oh, how about you?

135
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:49,851
Hello there, princess.

136
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:53,942
My name is Happy Sedengry
and I'm a Bubbeezee-certified Babbilist.

137
00:05:55,897 --> 00:06:00,527
[enunciating] Babbilists are people
who can talk to you babies!

138
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,449
-See how disengaged this baby is?
-[babbling]

139
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:06,069
Speak their language,
you draw them in faster.

140
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,032
[speaking gibberish]

141
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:10,037
[babbling]

142
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:12,956
She says she loves
her mum and pop very much.

143
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,419
-Oh!
-[laughter]

144
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,376
Mm, no.

145
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,919
She said, "Applesauce is yummy mud."

146
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:21,883
-[scoffs] This guy's a total fraud.
-[Happy] Who's next?

147
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,884
How about
this important-looking gentleman?

148
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,886
[Happy speaking gibberish]

149
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,509
I don't think he's interested.

150
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:31,806
His mom and I actually do
a pretty good job understanding him.

151
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:32,891
Right, guy?

152
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:35,015
[babbling]

153
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,403
Ooh. Yeah, nah.

154
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,860
It sounds cute, but he actually said,
"I hate you, Dad."

155
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,534
Sorry, it's true.

156
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:47,118
-Ah, here's a friendly-looking one!
-[babbling]

157
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:50,788
Says she wants to be a big, brave copper,
just like her old man.

158
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,620
No, you nincompoop!

159
00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:55,543
She said, "I already stole your keys,
and the wallet comes next!"

160
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:56,463
[giggles]

161
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,670
Isn't he amazing?

162
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,501
By actually talking to babies,

163
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:04,006
he can tell us all the ways
you're screwing up as parents!

164
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,093
Just have me over for a consultation.

165
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:08,755
I'll get to know your little sunshine's
hopes and dreams,

166
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,885
and I'll pass that info on to you.

167
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,352
Oh, hello, here's a sign-up sheet!

168
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:14,561
-Oh, that sounds wonderful!
-Sign me up for that!

169
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,102
-Give me that pen!
-[scoffs] A man who can talk to babies.

170
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,056
Who'd believe that?

171
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:19,810
[babbles]

172
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,727
-[doorbell rings]
-You sure this is the right sales angle?

173
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:25,697
Parents will believe anything
when it comes to their babies.

174
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,858
But unlike that fraud Happy Sedengry,

175
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,697
you'll be telling the truth
because you have me.

176
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:32,033
Now smile, Templeton.

177
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,408
Ninety-seven percent of sales
is showmanship.

178
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:35,655
[door opens]

179
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,496
Allow me to reintroduce myself.

180
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,922
I'm Tim Templeton,
and this is my baby brother.

181
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:40,841
[babbles]

182
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:44,458
Again, I already bought a magazine
subscription from the Namashitas.

183
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,088
But did you buy any magazines
for your baby?

184
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:53,934
[both babbling]

185
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,562
My brother and I have
an awesome friendship.

186
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,232
I just get babies, you know?

187
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,435
The kid's a wacko for boats.

188
00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:04,282
Let's try Expensive Boats Weekly.

189
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,357
[cooing, babbling]

190
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,244
[laughs] Wow!

191
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,531
But I still don't see
what he's gonna do with a magazine.

192
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:13,945
Spend hours with it... [whispers] quietly.

193
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,622
I'd like a two-year subscription.

194
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,127
[babbling]

195
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,040
Mm-hmm.

196
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:24,958
[toy squeaks]

197
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,256
She's into balloons.

198
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,416
Dirigible Enthusiast!

199
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,635
[babbling]

200
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,724
Hotcakes Aficionado!

201
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:33,759
[babbling]

202
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:39,055
-[Tim] Poodle Week... and Prison Kitties!
-[squealing]

203
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:40,273
[giggles]

204
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,363
Three-year subscriptions for each!

205
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:46,232
I'm totally on pace to get
the Jonathan Pumpernickel Magic Kit!

206
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,486
All this and a clean favor ledger.

207
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:49,856
Here's to Babbilism.

208
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,201
[speaking gibberish]

209
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,118
-That wasn't a swear, was it?
-Uh...

210
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,160
let's just say it'd get you arrested
in all but one Canadian province.

211
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,865
-[gasps]
-Come on, outlaw.

212
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,365
We'll pick it back up tomorrow
after playgroup.

213
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,542
Who's ready to be whipped
into mission shape?

214
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:05,627
What?

215
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,342
-[grunts]
-Uh...

216
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:09,011
No one else is coming?

217
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,050
- Not even Mega Fat?
-[babbles]

218
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:14,103
That is not insulting you.
I'm just saying we need the whole team!

219
00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:15,428
Just cover for me.

220
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,103
I wanna find out what's going on.

221
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,227
[slurping]

222
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,598
-Mega Fat!
-Aah!

223
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,647
Oh! You scared the living
nutritional shake out of me.

224
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,019
Why are you home?
Are you sick?

225
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:26,694
Never, ever been healthier.

226
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:29,614
Also, never, ever attending
playgroup again.

227
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:33,494
Happy Babbilized me and he said that
I said the playgroup was holding me back.

228
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,493
What?

229
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:39,294
-But you didn't say that, did you?
-No, but, duh and doy, he's certified.

230
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,710
Best wishes on your journey,

231
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:43,788
but my number-one baby job
is to make my mommy lady happy.

232
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,044
So, buh-bye, bad-influence baby!

233
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:47,342
Oh!

234
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,627
Wha--? Where's Dakota?

235
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,597
[Happy] Yeah, but can you really
put a price on your baby's happiness?

236
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,428
But-- But she was rock-solid!

237
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:58,640
And Scooter Buskie?

238
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,853
How does a faker like Sedengry
get him to go along?

239
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:02,941
I need answers!

240
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:06,654
Insightful. Thank you.

241
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,071
Why, I've Babbilized babies
from Biloxi to Bora Bora.

242
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,240
He's coming back.
You're going to get Babbilized.

243
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,739
No matter what he says,
you must resist. Got me?

244
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,244
[Mayor chuckles]
There's my precious bundle of joy.

245
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:19,371
I hear you're a quiet one, eh?

246
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,704
[speaking gibberish]

247
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,867
Stay strong, silent sister.

248
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:27,460
-[babbling]
-[gasps] My baby's making noises!

249
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,133
Sweet yams! He's a miracle worker!

250
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,549
No. No! It's just a parlor trick.

251
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,592
Has to be, right?

252
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:34,724
Well, there it is.

253
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,050
She says she's very quiet
because she hates playgroup.

254
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,756
Let me give you my prices.

255
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:41,102
[door opens]

256
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,482
-[door closes]
-Oh, great! Ready to sell?

257
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,351
Eyes on the Pumpernickel prize!

258
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:48,146
About that, got a bit of a situation.

259
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,780
Happy Sedengry is trying
to tear apart my playgroup.

260
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:52,938
-Why would he do that?
-Greed, Templeton.

261
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:56,487
Isolate parents from one another,
Happy becomes the lone advisor,

262
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,032
makes a crib-full of cash.

263
00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,122
[groans]

264
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,244
[Gina laughs] Yeah!

265
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,115
[Tina] Sorry, we got carried away

266
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,955
with all the fun prizes we won
through our efficient salesmanship.

267
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,960
Namashitas!

268
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:13,297
-Don't let them rattle you.
-I'm not angry, I'm fired up-gry!

269
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,301
That's the spirit!

270
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:15,972
You should do fine on your own tonight.

271
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,545
Hold on one second!

272
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:19,796
You still have a lot of ledger time
to make up.

273
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:22,057
And I will make it up, just not today.

274
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:25,729
I know the "why," but how that Babbilist
gets babies to respond...

275
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,230
that's the mystery.

276
00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:31,021
One that can only be solved
by inviting the devil into our home.

277
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,275
You're gonna let yourself be Babbilized?

278
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,609
I thought Mom and Dad
are too smart for that scam.

279
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:39,034
They are, which is why
I'll be occupied the rest of the day.

280
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,075
I have to go full naughty baby.

281
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:45,248
Mommy and Daddy will have no choice
but to call for help from that Babbilist.

282
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,208
I can't sell magazines
without a baby to translate for me.

283
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,000
Sorry, I'm closed for business.

284
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,291
Time for some face time!

285
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,208
Sorry, Jimbo. I'm no longer-- Ooh!

286
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,094
Two birds, meet stone.

287
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:00,592
Jimbo will help you sell magazines.

288
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,058
Tim will keep you company
like in the old days.

289
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,099
And me?

290
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:08,231
I've got an appointment with getting
an appointment with the Babbilist.

291
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,190
Tantrum! Tantrum! Tantrum! Tantrum!

292
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,401
[crying]

293
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,612
[Mom] Ted, what's wrong with the baby?

294
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:18,446
[babies giggling]

295
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,489
My cousin and I have
such an awesome friendship.

296
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,196
I just get babies, you know?

297
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,873
I can figure out
what magazine he'd appreciate.

298
00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:27,872
[babies continue giggling]

299
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:33,254
What does he like?

300
00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,835
I don't know,
but he sure likes being tickled!

301
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,466
What am I supposed to do with that?

302
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,760
Um, since your guy enjoys, uh...

303
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,850
giggling so much, he'd love...

304
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,064
-Modern Falconry?
-No, wait, he's...

305
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,600
-[screaming, crying]
-...really afraid of birds.

306
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,977
-[crying continues]
-[door slams]

307
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:54,185
[door opens]

308
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:55,520
[door closes]

309
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,728
[crying]

310
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:59,107
[Dad whimpering]

311
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:03,202
-[blows raspberry]
-Oh, come on, you haven't eaten all day!

312
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:07,157
It's the mashed beet-mobile!
Vroom-vroom, vroom!

313
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:12,043
-[spoon clatters]
-[crying]

314
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,424
Pudding! All aboard
the Puddinooga Choo-Choo.

315
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:17,173
Chugga, chugga, choo-choo!

316
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:18,553
Uh...

317
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,756
-[giggling]
-At least you stopped crying.

318
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,429
[wailing]

319
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:27,522
Honey, where did we put the number
of the guy who talks to babies?

320
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:28,428
[crying stops]

321
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,809
[Boss Baby crying]

322
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,938
Make it quick, Templeton.
I can't let them think I've been tamed.

323
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,114
Tomorrow's my last day to sell magazines!

324
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,403
If you don't help me,
forget the magic kit.

325
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:44,867
I'll be lucky to earn...
"math-themed binders"

326
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,659
or "soil collector set"?

327
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,913
-No luck with Jimbo?
-No one helps me like you do.

328
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,745
That's the whole reason
we started the ledger you just ignore.

329
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,285
You know my stakes here.

330
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,795
That playgroup Happy's destroying
is the only way I get my job back.

331
00:13:57,878 --> 00:14:00,798
My mission is just more... important?

332
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:06,724
You think your dumb business baby garbage
is more important than fun kid stuff?

333
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,805
I feel like the honest answer
is the wrong one here.

334
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,484
-Are they calling that baby talker?
-Yes.

335
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:15,521
Good! I hope he tells Mom and Dad
that you need to start acting

336
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:18,654
like a regular baby brother
and less like a dumb adult!

337
00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:20,106
[doorbell rings]

338
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,646
[crying]

339
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:23,736
Come on, guy.

340
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,113
The Babbilist is here.

341
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,071
[Boss Baby continues crying]

342
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:28,827
There's that stylish fella.

343
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,999
-Oh, thank you for coming so quickly.
-No worries.

344
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,462
Good news about babies: there's always
a simple reason they're unhappy.

345
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,922
Let's suss things out, eh?

346
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,172
[speaking gibberish]

347
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,514
[wailing]

348
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,219
Oh, that's what I thought.
It's that playgroup.

349
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,430
Every baby in there goes on and on
about how much they hate it.

350
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,391
Are you sure?

351
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,890
He seems so happy
with his little friends.

352
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:54,313
I'm gonna ask him how he'd feel
if you pulled him from the playgroup.

353
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,193
[speaking gibberish]

354
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,860
[giggling, gasps]

355
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,570
Mm. Yeah, he'd like that quite a bit.

356
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,487
But they always look
like they're having fun.

357
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,907
Wanna tell us how you really feel
about the playgroup, fella?

358
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,660
[speaking gibberish]

359
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,704
[wailing, gasps]

360
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,285
[speaking gibberish]

361
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:16,170
-[Boss Baby crying]
-[gibberish continues]

362
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:17,922
[gasps]

363
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:18,830
[Boss Baby grunts]

364
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,338
Yeah, playgroup's scarred him pretty bad.
But no worries.

365
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,300
Pull him out,
take a few sessions with me,

366
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:24,757
he'll be good as new.

367
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:29,390
Now, if you like, I can offer you a bundle
of ten sessions at a generous discount.

368
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:31,345
That's kind of a big commitment.

369
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,850
Hmm, is it?

370
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,272
Suit yourselves.

371
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,518
But I am going on Marsha Krinkle's
chat show tomorrow,

372
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,983
and, fair warning, once I'm on Channel 8,
you know, I'll be very famous.

373
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,315
Demand will be skyrocketing!

374
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,114
[laughs] I'll be Babbilizing
every baby in town!

375
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,404
[yelps]

376
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:50,157
He says he hopes you act soon
to lock in these low rates.

377
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,490
-Toodle-oo!
-[door opens, closes]

378
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:56,747
Mommy and Daddy need to go talk
about family finances.

379
00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,076
Um... [speaking gibberish]

380
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,207
Leave it to the professionals, Ted.

381
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:07,467
-[grunts]
-Why are you smiling?

382
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:09,799
Are you amused he made a huge fool of me?

383
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,304
I know how he made a huge fool of you.

384
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,558
It's the rings! On his fingers!

385
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,517
They're Jonathan Pumpernickel rings
from the kit!

386
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,810
-How do they work?
-I'll show you...

387
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,895
when we crash Marsha's show
and expose him as a fraud on live TV!

388
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,987
You'd do that for me... still?

389
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,028
You can owe me.
We'll keep track in a ledger or something.

390
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,029
What's the plan?

391
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,405
Jonathan Pumpernickel says
a great magician sells a trick.

392
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,583
And what's 97 percent of sales?

393
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,997
[both] Showmanship!

394
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,826
[man muttering]

395
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,337
[mellow music plays]

396
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,500
Welcome back!

397
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:47,797
I'm so excited about today's guest.

398
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,842
Happy Sedengry is a... Babbilist?

399
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:51,926
What's it mean?

400
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,051
It means I can talk to babies.

401
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,928
-I'm certified by Bubbeezee.
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

402
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,392
Talk to babies?

403
00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,185
I think this guy's off his rocker!
[laughs]

404
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,983
-May I demonstrate?
-Of course!

405
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:07,074
As you all know,
I have adopted a wonderful baby

406
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,281
and I just happen to have him here.

407
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,775
-Let's see what this guy has to say.
-[doors burst open]

408
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,985
I hear you're interviewing
Babbilists today.

409
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,575
Well, I'm the best one in town.

410
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,866
-Uh, what is this?
-I'll tell you what this is.

411
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,955
Great television falling into my lap.

412
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,711
Come on in, have a seat.

413
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,252
Tell all the people your name.

414
00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:27,955
They call me
Tim "Razz-matazzle-dazzle" Templeton.

415
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,087
This is my baby brother, who will
demonstrate the ancient art of babbling.

416
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,965
-It's "Babbilizing," actually.
-Not the way I do it.

417
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:38,813
Oh! We have got ourselves
a good old-fashioned babble-off!

418
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:39,731
Yeah!

419
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,977
I'm going to ask him
how much he likes his mum.

420
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,483
[speaking gibberish]

421
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,404
[babbling]

422
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,193
He says she's an excellent mother.

423
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,700
That's amazing... and true!

424
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:56,202
I will now tell him
that I'm holding up three fingers.

425
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:57,703
[speaking gibberish]

426
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:58,947
[clapping]

427
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,656
He understood! Wowee!

428
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:06,173
Not a lot of people know this,
but babies love jokes.

429
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,341
Watch the ring.
He's gonna use it to make him laugh.

430
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,470
[speaking gibberish]

431
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:13,469
[giggling]

432
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,427
-[speaking gibberish]
-[babbling]

433
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,308
A turtle!

434
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,925
It is a turtle!

435
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,137
Incredible!

436
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:25,597
Aw, that's not incredible,
that's his brother!

437
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:29,227
Come on, I'd like to see him try
on a baby he's not related to, eh?

438
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,726
An excellent suggestion!

439
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,738
Are there any other babies
in the audience?

440
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,860
[scoffs] What--?
Why would there be other babies?

441
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,527
-There's not even an audience.
-[babies babbling]

442
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:40,116
[Marsha] No idea how these babies
got into the studio,

443
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,872
but, hey, that's the magic of television!

444
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,365
-Looks like they want uppies.
-All right. Look, listen.

445
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,917
I'll give you uppies
when it's your turn to get Babbilized.

446
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:52,131
Hmm... would you babies really like
a Babbilizing from Happy Sedengry?

447
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,844
-[speaking gibberish]
-[babies screaming]

448
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,175
How did you do that?!

449
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,890
[groans] Uh... all right,
well, here's something.

450
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:04,389
True Bubbeezee-certified Babbilizing
even leads to healthy lifestyles!

451
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:08,936
Watch me convince this baby not to eat
a delicious but nutritionally-void cookie!

452
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:11,572
-[speaking gibberish]
-[babbling]

453
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:13,611
Where's my--?

454
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,364
Has anyone seen two rings?

455
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,565
Very unremarkable,
nothing special about them.

456
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,486
Just-- Just rings, basic rings.

457
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:23,867
[sniffs] Smells like a beautiful day
to bust a fraud.

458
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,247
I have something for you.

459
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,376
-Um, thanks?
-Just open it.

460
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,166
It's a bunch of times and addresses.

461
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:36,090
Sales appointments.
It's your last day, right?

462
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:39,385
So, last night, I made some calls,
set up some sit-downs...

463
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,099
for you and me.

464
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,305
This is a ton!

465
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:45,979
First appointment's right after
we're done here, so let's finish this.

466
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,265
Did you tell my baby to eat
that death disc of sugar and fat?

467
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:50,694
No! I-I--

468
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:54,862
-Funny you lost your ring, huh?
-No... [stammers] they're, uh, heirlooms.

469
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:57,113
Uh, so, it's quite--
it's quite serious, actually.

470
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,356
If it's so serious,
then why are you laughing?

471
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,578
I'm not lau-- [laughing]

472
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:03,618
Did I just make you laugh
against your own will?

473
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,451
That must make you very angry.

474
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:06,827
Me? [laughs] Never.

475
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:07,754
[screams]

476
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:10,205
Aah! Give me back my rings,
you little snot!

477
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:14,252
Holy cannoli!
He flipped out like a cranky toddler!

478
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:17,048
Did you just Babbilize a grown-up?

479
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:18,296
No...

480
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,837
because there is no such thing
as Babbilizing.

481
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,223
-[gasps]
-Ooh!

482
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,934
You want to know how Happy does it?

483
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,234
They're called "hypno-rings,"
for hypnosis tricks.

484
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,728
You can get them anywhere they sell

485
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:30,309
the Jonathan Pumpernickel
Junior Illusionist's Magic Kit.

486
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,645
[laughing]

487
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,860
Oh, th-this is nonsense!

488
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:35,654
[Tim] Ring one is a tickle ring.

489
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,654
It contains a tiny hidden feather.

490
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:40,066
Rub it against someone,
they can't help but giggle.

491
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,989
Ring two: a shock buzzer.

492
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,865
-[ring buzzes]
-[Happy screams] Give me back my rings!

493
00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:49,041
That's how he gets
the reaction he wants out of babies.

494
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:51,632
You're telling me and our entire audience

495
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,958
that there's no actual secret power
for talking to babies?

496
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,045
That is correct!

497
00:20:56,129 --> 00:21:00,339
So, anyone who claims to know
what babies want is an absolute fraud?

498
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:04,140
Uh, I mean, except for me,

499
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:06,391
if I come to your house,
after the Namashita twins,

500
00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:07,683
to sell you magazines

501
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:09,936
and I say I know what magazines
your baby wants

502
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,648
because that's totally different?

503
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:16,071
-Dang it!
-Wow, two frauds exposed in one day!

504
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,939
Join us tomorrow when I freak you out

505
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:20,856
about all the secrets your garbageman
knows about you.

506
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:22,571
[news jingle plays]

507
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,583
-[whistles]
-[Scooter grunting]

508
00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:29,083
-[slide squeaking]
-[Sticky Fingers giggles]

509
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:35,206
[Jarreau yelps]

510
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:38,127
-What is this?
-Improvement.

511
00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:42,925
Boy, our grown-ups sure were dum-dummies
to believe in that Babbilist, right?

512
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:46,850
-Yes, the grown-ups were dumb.
-But hooray for joyous endings!

513
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:49,640
Bubbeezee apologized
for certifying that charlatan

514
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:52,055
-and gave us all free products!
-Eh? Eh?

515
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:55,153
I got safety zips and socket plugs!

516
00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:58,482
Doing the right thing
and getting product into homes.

517
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,027
-Smart business.
-[Tim] Scoot over.

518
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,780
I need some sand
for my daily soil collection.

519
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,373
Oh, put that poor man's prize away.

520
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,370
I can't stand to see you like this.

521
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:12,958
-[gasps] How did you get this?
-I bought it... with money.

522
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,670
It only retails for 15 bucks,

523
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:18,670
which is nuts because you did a grand
in sales for that magazine company.

524
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:21,554
Consider it a down payment
for the time I still owe you.

525
00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:24,302
Here's what I think of brothers
keeping track of favors.

526
00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:25,891
Pumpernickel, rye!

527
00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:27,969
Ledger... bye-bye!

528
00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:30,933
Wizardry! How-How did you--?

529
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,726
-A true magician never reveals--
-[Mrs. Buskie] Scooter, no!

530
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:37,269
[babies shouting]

531
00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:39,105
Look at my field team go.

532
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,281
Baby Corp, here I come.

533
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:07,005
♪ Boss Baby ♪

