What is your deal?
I got a big game on Friday.
Look, it's no good. I need my fluids.
Your fluids?
Yeah.
Mary Jo, I'm curious.
Why would you do something like that?
Why not?
It's self-mutilation, really.
Self-mutilate this, fluid boy.
Good find, girl.
Yeah.
Who's that?
Oh, shit. No.
Slut.
Andy.
You want to step out for a minute?
You kids shouldn't be out past curfew.
Andy Effkin, toast with the most.
You like our chances against Knight's Ridge?
We should do fine.
Thrown for a loss.
Is your arm okay for the game?
- It's good. - Offensive line up to par?
Son of a bitch.
Fuck.
Easy, Eff. Easy, buddy.
- I need my fluids. - Give me the gun.
Get out of here, now.
What?
You gotta be shittin' me.
That's Mary Jo.
Clarice, it's Cox. We got a wet one here on the bluff.
I just can't wait, Steve.
To do what?
To see my new room, my new school, my new everything.
Yeah, new everything.
It's gonna be awesome.
It's gonna be better.
Way better.
Come on.
Looks like you're moving to Cradle Bay.
- We sure are. - Sure you'll like it here.
- You'll never want to leave. - You hear that?
Hey, you. I thought you were gonna help me.
Come on.
Fridge.
Thank you.
You all right?
Yeah.
Just trying to put some of this stuff away.
Nervous?
- About what? - First day at school.
Dad?
What are you doing, dipshit? Don't worry about snakes in the garden...
when you got spiders in your bed.
"They had been so innocent and little there.
And all beyond was so unknown and great."
Very good, Trent.
To wit, when Pip says this...
Dickens is speaking of the joy of discovery...
of newness, of change.
Mr. Clark, perhaps you can relate.
Mr. Clark is new to us from Chicago. Do they read Dickens in Chicago?
Dickie Atkinson.
Welcome.
Tell us why you're late. Trouble with the camshaft?
Like you know what one is.
Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the carburetor this morning.
Peckerhead.
What is... if I may display my ignorance...
a peckerhead?
Why are you laughing, Whalen?
Nothing, Richard.
I was just thinking how ignorance kills.
- What does that mean? - Exactly.
You ass-kissing little fuck!
Boys!
Perhaps yet another little sojourn to the principal will serve you well?
Want to know what a peckerhead is?
- That's a peckerhead. - Thank you for the clarification.
Please send Principal Weathers our hosannas!
"Youth is wholly experimental." Robert Louis Stevenson.
I know.
These seats taken?
No. Go ahead.
I am Gavin. This is U.V.
I'm Steve.
Munchies.
U.V. Has some primo weed.
We smoked a fatty during gym.
Check him out. He looks almost tan.
Hello, Lorna. How are you today, my dear?
- Drop dead. - Contact.
- Who's that? - That is Lorna "Love-itis" Longley.
Fire of my loins, purveyor of my every masturbatory fantasy.
The entire female gender is separated into two groups.
Lorna comprises one group. All of womankind comprises the other.
You ever take her out?
Alas, Lorna is largely untouchable for someone of my social standing.
What do you mean?
It's a class system here at C.B. High, Stevie Boy.
Check it out.
There you got your motorheads, car jocks.
All the world's a gasket and a lube job and a pack of Luckys.
Music of choice: Posi-traction overdrive, classic rock...
Skynyrd, The Allmans, Bruce.
Drug of choice: Beer, Miller Genuine Draft.
Keggers can't be choosers.
Freaks who fix leaks.
Over here you have your microgeeks...
nerds, whiz kids and various other bottom feeders.
Music of choice: The sound of an Apple PC booting up.
Drug of choice: Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time"...
and a cup of jasmine tea on a Saturday night.
Freaks that go squeak.
Over there you have your skaters.
Riffin', ragin' kids and their ramp tramps.
Baggy pants, Dickie wools, doing 50-50 grinds...
with a gnarly grab finish on a homemade halfpipe in the woods.
Music of choice: The whack of a hacky sack.
Drug of choice: Ecstasy, E-tab. Baby, longer lovin' through science.
Freaks in sneaks.
Here's where it gets really nasty.
Lorna runs with that group there, the Blue Ribbons.
- What's that? - It's a community group of good kids.
Have bake sales, car washes.
- Kiss a lot of adult sphincter. - Blue Robots.
Here, here.
Those three guys: Cradle Bay's answer to Manson, McVeigh and O.J.
Trent Whalen, Andy Effkin, Robby Stewart.
I bet you didn't know that toast came in three flavors.
This group's music of choice: The hum of perfection, the buzz of ambition.
Drug of choice: Life, the pursuit of clean living...
at the expense of all who sniffle at the hem of their gowns.
Freaks, so chic.
Then you got kids like me and U.V.
Lames who like our metal heavy, our Marlboros light.
Music of choice: Harvester of Sorrow, Language of the Mad.
Drug of choice: What do you got?
Freaks all week.
That's it. Lesson over.
Class dismembered.
Welcome to Cradle Bay High, Stevie Boy.
Welcome to my nightmare.
- Why can't we help you with your math? - Just leave me alone.
Hello.
Phlegm.
P-h-l-e-m-g-h.
- Wrong. - Let me see that.
- What are you two doing? - We're having a spelling bee.
My brother Allen was the best speller.
- I thought your name was Steve. - It is.
Allen's my brother who died.
I have a grandfather who died.
Why don't we change the subject?
- Pass your plate. - Why?
- You know why. - Nathan.
Shannon, do you get yelled at if you talk about your dead grandfather?
Around here people go crazy if you talk about a dead brother.
Hello?
I'm here for the Mustang parts.
What the fuck?
What are you doing here?
The troops shall set you free.
What do you guys want?
Sweet Dickie, we want you.
We've got it for you, Richard.
We've got all the winning numbers.
We like to welcome all new students. Standard procedure.
As soon as Dr. Caldicott arrives, we can begin.
Doctor?
He's the resident faculty fellow, an outstanding educator.
He's been with us two years now.
Works with the students in a counseling capacity.
I think you'll like him.
I'm sorry I'm late. Hi. Edgar Caldicott.
It's nice to finally meet you.
- Everything okay? - Fine.
Have you given any thought to extracurricular activities or sports?
Not really.
- There's the Blue Ribbons. - The Blue Ribbons?
Yeah. They help each other study and practice.
It's a team effort.
It's a motivational workshop, really.
The Blue Ribboners have truly been making the grade...
and doing wonderful things on the playing field.
All of us here are aware of the tragedy back in Chicago.
- If there's anything we can do... - I said everything's fine.
Steven, we know how tough it can be.
Whether or not you want to be involved with the school...
we want to be involved with you.
- That's all the meeting is about. - Okay.
So go make some new friends.
- Like that? - What is it?
It's bona fide jitterbug.
It's my buddy, Rachel. Cook's Ridge trash.
She's a great chick, but she's Cook's Ridge trash.
Come on.
Dancing queen.
Rachel, this is Stevie Boy.
Good man.
This is Rachel. Cook's ridge trash.
Bite me.
Wow, appropriate sparks are flying.
Somebody cue the power ballad.
Fail to be a tumor, Gavin.
What do you say we cruise town, chase a case...
hit the bluff and drink some beer?
Consecrate Stevie Boy's arrival to this new and pathetic tank town.
- You down? - Sounds razor.
Stevie Boy?
Sure.
Excuse me, sir. Can you help me out?
- What? - I'm trying to buy some beer.
I have the money and everything, I'm just a month from...
Get off my case, kid.
You know, the problem with America...
is mankind's abject unwillingness...
to contribute to the delinquency of minors.
That was like the tenth guy.
- Chug. - What are you doing?
- Chasing. Nobody's willing. - Yeah?
Hello, Charles. Cycle any anabolic goodies lately?
- You're funny, Strick. - Thanks. I'm here all week.
A couple of us are going to the Yogurt Shoppe later, if you want to come by.
The Yogurt Shoppe? Yeah.
You want to make an "active culture" joke here or should I handle this one?
- See you later. - Bye.
- What? - What?
You're actually flattered that barn door has a thing for you?
- Bullshit. - Right.
There's for the syrup.
Is that the right one for the orange juice?
Where's the deodorant coupon? It's here somewhere.
- What does a hooker say after 12 hours? - What?
Clean up on aisle four.
Sorry.
Come here!
Easy.
Fuck! You Blue Ribbon shithead!
What was that all about?
Toxic Jock Syndrome.
- You'll be fine. - Where's my shake?
What the hell would make a kid freak out like that?
It has to be steroids. All those jocks are into it.
Kelly Connor saw Andy Effkin bite the head off a kitten in a fit of rage.
- No way. - I'm serious.
I think it's bullshit, though.
It is not bullshit, and it's not steroids.
- Here we go. - What?
Gavin thinks some sinister force is taking over the Cradle Bay meatheads.
- You know what it is. - A sinister force?
You know, evil. Nowhere to turn, no one to trust.
- Fail to be a bitch. - Fail to be a pucker-ass.
- What? - Nothing.
Let's go!
Andy killed her.
Everyone's saying she ran away.
I saw her dead body, but I can't prove it.
- Those fuckers. - Why didn't you go to the police?
Cox was there, man.
The cop didn't do shit.
Fuck, nobody listens to me.
Cancer Corner.
Best place in the school to sneak a smoke.
What are you shitbirds doing down here?
- Relax, Mr. Newberry. - You ain't supposed to be down here!
This is my friend, Steve. He's new to the Bay.
Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw.
Drag marks.
Drag marks of a rat's tail.
What have you got there?
It's an "E-rat-icator."
Sounds are supposed to scare the rats away.
- You hear that? - Yeah.
Scary, ain't it?
Piece of crap. Doesn't work worth spit!
A dollar for everything that didn't work worth spit.
Mr. Newberry has the Boo-Radley- village-idiot-Quasimodo thing going.
- Don't you? - What?
And he's currently involved...
in a war against the rodent population of Cradle Bay.
Gotta fight them!
Rats from the bay.
Incoming! You think you can run, but you can't hide!
- A day at the master races. - Check that out.
Jesus.
Is that Dickie? What is he doing?
He's one of them now, bud.
He's a Blue Robot.
Watch and learn.
What the fuck?
They're peckerheads. Look at him. He's killing his hard-on.
Fore!
Maybe he turned over a new leaf.
I would like to own the new leaf concession here in Cradle Bay.
Did you tell Steve about the murders?
Steve is a disbeliever.
The mysterious disappearance of Mary Jo Copeland and Officer Kramer? Uh-huh.
This is where he accuses me of being paranoid.
"Denial" ain't just a river in Italy, bud.
Check your weed, boys.
- You are beige, boy. - See you, Rachel.
Bye.
Here's your chocolate sundae. Hope you guys...
Can I help you?
Steven, good to see you, brother.
Come sit down.
Steven, this is Kathy, Andy...
- Tom, Randi... - Hi.
Lorna, Chug.
You know Robby and Dickie.
This is Steven. Sit down.
Steven's new to the Bay from Chicago.
- Do you like it here? - Yeah, it's okay.
You had friends in Chicago?
Yeah.
You can have friends here.
Didn't you guys get in a fight in English?
We've made peace.
That's what separates us from the animals.
Dirtbag alert.
- I gotta talk to you. - Easy, slick. Steven's relaxing.
The Yogurt Shoppe. What the fuck is a "shoppy"?
Why don't you make like a tree and leave?
Clever girl. Come on, Steve.
We get in one argument, and you go bond with these guys?
What happened to you? Did you eat too much flank steak?
- Let's go. - You don't have to go, brother.
I'm not your brother.
You wanted to tell me something? Here I am. What?
- They're hypnotized. - What?
Maybe not hypnotized, but brainwashed, lobotomized, programmed.
Want proof? Here. Here's proof.
Look. That's Robby, Randi, Trent.
They used to be my friends.
Maybe they got sick of your rap. I can relate.
I thought you'd say that. That is the purpose of tonight's excursion.
After tonight, you'll strap on a hog and be a man.
It's something that benefits everybody. The Thespian Society, for example...
Blue Ribbon meeting. Every Monday.
This is where the shit goes down. Listen.
By conducting the bake sale in conjunction with the pep rally...
we can be selling cakes and cookies when school spirit is at its optimum.
I had no idea the evil was this pervasive.
Jan, what's on your mind?
This may sound strange, but...
although we couldn't be more pleased with Andrew's improved studies...
he's become somewhat different...
since returning from your weekend enlightenment seminar.
Different how?
He seems unkind to almost everyone outside of the club.
I can understand your concern. Let me address it.
Kids being kids have a tendency to overreact.
We've found they go through a brief period...
of being, shall we say, snobby.
But what it really is is a feeling that's new to them.
The feeling is pride.
They're improved.
When you soar with the eagles, the pigeons below look pedestrian.
- Give it a little time. - Dork.
Now, a new candidate has been nominated.
His parents have been counseled and consented.
Colleen, if you will.
- Male, 17 years old... - Superstar.
Suspended four times last school year.
Parents feel candidate is depressed...
spending too much time listening to rock music and masturbating.
- Candidate has a history of truancy... - Poor son of a bitch.
And a general lack of direction.
Candidate is C-minus student, yet has A-plus potential.
All in favor?
Great. February candidate confirmed.
- Training to begin ASAP. - Shit.
- What? - Join me in welcoming to our circle...
Ernest and Lucille Strick...
the parents of our next superstar, Gavin Strick.
They want you to join their club. Shine them on and blow them off.
- What are they gonna do? - You still don't get it.
You still think this is about blood drives and bake sales.
Wait a second.
Maybe you should lay off that shit.
Maybe you should eat me.
Yeah.
This is huge. Why don't you see this is fucking huge?
Don't fucking "Gavin" me. I'm a dead man.
My parents sold me out. You saw it. You were there.
Why don't you see this?
Stay at my house tonight.
I have to go home.
When I get there and they're waiting for me, I'll smoke them all. You hear me?
Everyone who's at my house: Robby, Whalen, Caldicott, even my olds.
- Give me the gun. - No fucking way.
- Let me have it! - No! You're losing it!
You'll wind up shooting the paperboy.
- Just go home. - Give me my fucking gun.
Good night.
Don't leave me alone like this!
Stevie Boy?
I would have smoked them all. Fuck, man.
Wait a minute.
- What is this? - I don't believe...
Show time.
Who put the acid in my Spam?
- Hello. - What is up with this?
I just want to apply myself.
I think I'll get better results on this side of the caf.
Beat it, honey. This is rarefied turf.
Sluts need not apply.
Later.
How much do I owe you?
- Treat yourself. - Indeed.
- Where you going? - I'm going to talk to Gavin.
You're not wanted, Steven. Just leave him be.
Get the fuck off me.
Guys, come on.
What's your maladjustment?
You okay?
Forget it! Stop it!
That's enough!
What happened to you?
We shall overcome, Steven.
- You okay? - Man, fantastic.
You'll see.
Retard.
Are you okay?
What are you doing here?
You're not supposed to be here.
- I hate the caf. - Everybody hates the caf.
They hate the ketchup.
I got...
That's not good.
Doesn't even look like ketchup.
"Slaughterhouse-Five"?
What? Give me that!
What the hell's the matter with you?
You rats from the Bay. You rats!
Rats everywhere.
You kids think you know everything! You don't know nothing!
Forget the rats. It's all an act.
- You don't know. - It's all bullshit.
Get away from me!
Brother!
Wait.
Do you like Kurt Vonnegut?
I don't get it.
Didn't you ever want to just disappear, lunch boy?
Poof, you're gone.
You'd be surprised how interesting people become...
when they think you are really stupid.
- Who is it? - Calm down, Steven.
Where you going, Steven?
- There's nothing to be afraid of. - Here is the light, Steven.
Hello, Steven.
What are you doing here?
- I'm tutoring Lindsay in Algebra. - Where is she?
- Where's my sister? - She's upstairs sleeping.
- Where are my parents? - At a meeting.
- What meeting? - Steven, you're hurt.
- I'll live. - Let me put something on that.
It's fine.
Maybe you should go.
I mean it.
- If that's what you want. - Yeah.
Can I go to the bathroom first?
Sure. It's around the corner.
I know where it is.
Of course you do. Everyone knows where everything is around here.
Your sister's a great kid. She's very special.
Hello, Steven.
- What are you doing? - I'm not sure really.
Go home, Lorna.
- You don't find me slightly attractive? - You're very attractive.
It's just that you're a Blue Ribbon and I'm not.
So...
Wait a second.
I'm not supposed to be doing this.
It's bad, wrong.
It's not bad. It's... Jesus Christ.
I have to go home. I have a big physics test tomorrow.
After extracting the implant...
I tested its integrity to the optic nerve, and it was intact.
The chip is functioning properly.
But I did find that excess stimulation to the pineal gland...
caused the dopamine levels to go through the roof.
Every time one of these kids gets a hard-on, they beat somebody with it.
We could do a cingulotomy.
No. Cut a craniotomy flap. I'll get elbow deep, see what happens.
- What? - Cut the bruises out of the banana.
What about her parents?
Tell them she'll be missing cheerleading practice this week.
Look. Cook's Ridge trash.
Once you've all settled in, I'm sure she'll fit in just fine.
- Thanks, Dr. Caldicott. - Did you hear that, Nancy?
Yeah, Mom.
Come on, let's go. I gotta sell this bud.
I got two customers left.
If this keeps up, I'll be the 7-Eleven guy.
I'm gonna grab a smoke.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
I saw you come down here, Rachel.
I just want to ask you something.
What do you want?
I just want to know...
It's me asking, not my friends.
Will you go out with me?
You're kidding, right?
Will you, please?
No, Chug, I won't.
Why not?
How about this?
You couldn't repulse me more if you were made out of shit and maggots!
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- You want to be that way? - Stop it. I'll scream. I swear to God.
- Yeah? - Yeah!
What will happen if you do?
I'm a Blue Ribbon, baby. Team captain.
You're just a trashy, tattooed love doll.
Come on, Rae-Rae, give up the plate for Chug. Come on!
Fuck!
Stop it!
What you looking at, retard?
Wow.
I guess I just think you should try and fit in.
We're gonna be here for a long time.
You, me, Mom and Dad.
And Chip and Dale.
- What is this? - What?
- Where did you get this? - I got it at school.
They were handing them out. We all got one.
- Go inside. - Why?
- I said go inside! - Spaz.
- We should talk. - Yeah.
There's something you need to see.
Rae, Gavin Strick here.
Live and unplugged.
Guess if you found this, then you know.
Am I hanging with Trent and Robby...
and the rest of the Robots?
God, I hope not.
I hit the vents tonight when I split up with Stevie Boy.
He doesn't believe.
I went back to school...
and I overheard Caldicott talking to some wonk.
Mentioned "Bishop Flats Eleven."
Caldicott called them his children.
Then he freaked out on the guy and kicked him out of his office.
So, I figure something's up with that.
Keep an eye on U.V. For me, though I doubt they'll want him.
I doubt they're interested in the pigmentally challenged.
That's not their style.
I have to go get paranoid.
This is Gavin Strick...
reporting live from The Reconstruction.
I pulled this off the AMA database.
Caldicott's last place of employment...
was across the bay in Bishop Flats...
at the Bellknop Psychiatric Facility.
He spent seven years doing neuropharmacology.
Mind control.
Next ferry's at 6:00.
- Bishop Flats? - You down for it?
Razor.
Let's go.
- I miss Gavin. He's almost like a... - A brother?
Yeah, exactly.
I had a brother.
Sorry.
His name was Allen. He was a couple years older than me.
If he had made it through his teens, he would have been amazing.
But he was always in pain.
And eight months to the day he shot himself...
Dad said we were moving to Cradle Bay...
where everything was gonna be all right.
- I'm sorry. - No, don't.
Let's go.
Maybe this isn't a good idea.
Think of it as our first date.
That's why my toothes are clean.
Be pretty...
and do it just right.
Children.
Meet the musical little creatures...
that hide among the flowers.
Shut up.
Let's get out of here.
It's Caldicott's daughter.
His own daughter.
How can nobody not know there's something fucked up in Bishop Flat?
Shit, his own daughter was in there. Nobody's safe.
The last ferry leaves at 11:30.
Tell me you have a razor plan.
- I am making this shit up as I go. - Great.
Shit.
Hi, Officer Cox.
Closing time, Frankie.
Yeah, it's getting late.
Just be cool.
It's past curfew.
She's driving me home.
- From? - Studying.
Where are your books?
- Evening, Officer. - What are you doing?
I'm getting rid of rats.
The pink-eyed vermin can't see for spit.
Quarter a rat.
Town council gives me a quarter a rat.
I'm going to be rich at this rate. I'll be on...
- "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous." - Moron.
- Where are you going? - Can we go now?
Step out of the truck, now.
- What are you doing? - Hey!
Let her go! What do you want from us?
Get in here.
That's a big rat.
Come on, get out of there! What are you waiting for? Get!
Let's get out of here.
Come on, Steve.
You have to trust me for now. Do you trust me?
Where are you going?
I'm taking Lindsay away from here. We're going back to Chicago.
- Don't do this. You're scaring me. - I'm scared too, Mom, believe me.
Stevie, you have to know we're here for you no matter what.
- God, do you really mean that? - Of course we do.
- Then let's all go home. - Steven, you are home.
Cradle Bay is where you belong. Here with your family.
You signed me up for the program?
- We want what's best for you. - What about what I want?
Look, Steven, do you really like the way you feel?
Shut the fuck up!
You sold me out.
- We didn't. We just want you back. - Steven, please...
My name is Steve, okay?
Nobody calls me Steven except for them.
Fine. Come on, Linds.
May I have this dance?
Where's Rachel?
She's gone to an institute of higher learning, Steven.
- Help! - Everything's under control.
Who's your daddy?
Respect yourself, Steven.
Ice, ice, baby.
It's not what you think.
It's a new kind of cool.
You feel better, freer.
I've never felt so alive in my life.
- It's humanity's sacred essence. - A new and finer age.
Go forward.
Be the ball.
People will know when I get out of here.
That's right, they will know.
They'll know because you'll be better.
Adolescence is a minefield.
But soon, you'll be fully equipped to walk right through it.
Yeah, straight A's and a letter jacket.
And every now and then, you rape and kill.
To cure cancer, you gotta kill a few white mice.
Meet the musical little creatures...
that hide among the flowers.
That's a battle I didn't win.
You'll be different.
I know so much more now.
She wasn't that bright to begin with.
Be all that's good.
Stop fooling around.
Let the light in.
Be excellent. You're number one. You're an ace.
Achieve.
You'll be okay.
Going somewhere with my custard, Steven?
Let's go, Chug.
That's my girl you got there.
I can't let you take her.
Come on! Get up!
Come on, Rae-Rae, give up the plate for old Chug.
Come on.
- Not so fast. - What?
What's the capital of North Dakota?
How the fuck should I know?
Okay, you're cool. Get in.
We gotta book. Early bird ferry's in 20 minutes.
Shit, man.
It's time to leave mediocrity behind.
Step up on the bus.
What is it?
Come and get it, you blue bastards!
What is going on?
Come on.
Get them to the ferry.
I'll meet you down there.
Don't leave without me.
- Lunch boy. - What are you doing?
We can't very well have these shitbirds...
graduating and going off into the world.
Maybe they can be helped.
No, they can't. And neither can I.
Do good things, lunch boy.
Hey, teacher!
Leave those kids alone!
It's over, you son of a bitch. It's finished.
"Finished"?
There will always be other towns...
and other troubled teens...
and other worried parents.
Science is God.
Be the ball.
- What happened? - We're the only ones left.
So, what do we do now?
We go home.
And where's that?
Wherever.
Wherever we are.
Appropriate sparks are flying.
Somebody cue up the power ballad, man.
All right now, settle down.
Turn that damn thing off.
Now, y'all got a new student teacher starting today.
I want you to show him a little bit more respect than the last one.
Speak of the devil.
Say hello to your new student teacher, class.
They're all yours.
Peckerhead.
Hello, class. Welcome.
Be excellent.
Yes. Wonderful.
Meet the musical little creatures...
that hide in the flowers.
Treat yourself.