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Police Constable Nicholas Angel.
Born and schooled in London.
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Graduated Canterbury University in 1993
with a doubIe first in poIitics and socioIogy.
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Attended Hendon CoIIege of PoIice Training.
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DispIayed great aptitude in fieId exercises.
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NotabIy, urban pacification and riot controI.
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Back off!
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AcademicaIIy exceIIed in theoreticaI
course work and finaI year examinations.
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Received the Baton of Honour.
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Graduated with distinction into
the MetropoIitan PoIice Service.
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QuickIy estabIished an effectiveness
and popuIarity within the community.
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Use your brain.
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Proceeded to improve skiII base
with courses in advanced driving
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and advanced cycIing.
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Became heaviIy invoIved
in a number of extra vocationaI activities.
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To this day hoIds the Met record
for the 100 metre dash.
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In 2001 began active duty with
the renowned SO 19 armed response unit.
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Received a bravery award for efforts
in the resoIution of Operation Crackdown.
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In the Iast 12 months
has received nine speciaI commendations.
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Achieved the highest arrest record
for any officer in the Met.
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And sustained three injuries
in the Iine of duty.
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Most recentIy in December when wounded
by a man dressed as Father Christmas.
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-Hello, Nicholas.
-Hello, Sergeant.
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-How's the hand?
-Still a bit stiff.
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lt can get awfully hairy out there.
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l'm surprised you weren't snapped up
sooner for a nice desk job. That's what l did.
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l prefer to think my office is
out on the street.
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lndeed, you do.
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Your arrest record is 400% higher
than any other officer.
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Which is why it's high time
that such skills were put to better use.
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-We're making you Sergeant.
-l see.
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ln Sandford, Gloucestershire.
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-ln where, sorry?
-ln Sandford, Gloucestershire.
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-That's in the country.
-Yes, lovely.
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lsn't there a Sergeant's position
here in London?
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No.
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-Can l remain here as a PC?
-No.
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-Do l have any choice in this?
-No.
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Sergeant, l kind of like it here.
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Well, you've always wanted
to transfer to the country.
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-ln 20 years or so, yes.
-Well done, you.
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Hang on, l don't remember
telling you that.
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Yes, you did. You said,
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''l'd love to settle down
in the country sometime, Janine.''
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l'd like to talk to the lnspector.
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You can speak to the lnspector,
but l can promise you
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he will tell you
exactly the same thing as l have.
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-Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand?
-lt's still a bit stiff.
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-And how are things at home?
-l'm sorry, sir?
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How's Janine?
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We're no longer together, sir.
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-Right. Then where are you living?
-He's staying at the Section House, sir.
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-With the recruits?
-Yes, he's living out of cardboard boxes.
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Well, then, you're packed already.
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Nicholas, we're offering you a smashing
position with a delightful cottage,
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in a lovely little place
that l think has won Village of the Year
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l don't know how many times.
lt'll be good for you.
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-l don't really know what to say.
-Yes?
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Yes, thank you.
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No, l'm sorry. l'm gonna have to...
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-You want to take this higher?
-Yes, yes, l do.
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You want me to bother
the Chief lnspector with this?
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Yes.
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You want me to get the Chief lnspector
to come all the way down here?
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-Yes, l do.
-Okay.
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Kenneth!
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-Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand?
-Still a bit stiff.
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-Chief lnspector...
-Keep your seat.
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Now, l know what you're going to say,
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but the fact is,
you've been making us all look bad.
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l'm sorry, sir?
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Of course we all appreciate your efforts,
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but you've been rather
letting the side down.
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lt's all about being a team player, Nicholas.
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You can't be the Sheriff of London.
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lf we let you carry on running round town,
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you'll continue to be exceptional
and we can't have that.
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You'll put us all out of a job.
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With respect, sir.
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-You can't just make people disappear.
-Yes, l can. l'm the Chief lnspector.
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Well, however you spin this, there's
one thing you haven't taken into account.
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And that's what the ''team''
is gonna make of this.
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-Hello?
-Janine, it's me.
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l know. l'm at work.
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I know, I'm outside.
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What's the situation?
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You know the situation.
We've been over this.
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No, l... l meant here.
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Two people involved,
distinct signs of a struggle.
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Complete mess.
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-You are talking about here?
-Nicholas, what do you want?
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Well, l have something important to tell you
and l didn't wanna do it over the phone.
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Janine, l've been transferred.
l'm moving away for a while.
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l'm not Janine.
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Janine, l've been transferred.
l'm moving away for a while.
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l know. Bob told me.
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Hello, there.
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Well, l wanted to tell you in person.
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And there's no reason
we can't be civil with each other.
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lt's not that long ago
we were talking about getting married.
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Yes, but you were already married
to the force, weren't you?
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We're actually supposed to call it
''the service'' now.
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Official vocab guidelines state
that ''force'' is too aggressive.
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See. lt's only ever about the job.
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-lt's all you care about.
-That's not true.
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No, you're right,
you do have that rubber plant.
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-lt's a Japanese Peace Lily.
-You just can't switch off, Nicholas.
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And until you find a person you care
about more than your job, you never will.
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Besides, you were the one
who suggested we take a break.
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Yes, well,
guilty people often make the first move.
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Actually, there's something
l need to tell you.
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-You're seeing someone else.
-Yes. How did you...
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-ls it Bob?
-No.
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Does Bob look like
the kind of person l'd go out with?
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lt's Dave.
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Hello, there.
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l see.
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Oh, Nicholas.
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You do realise that window
was broken from the inside?
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FRANK: Hello there, Nicholas,
Frank Butterman here, your new Inspector.
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I'm just caIIing with detaiIs
of your accommodation.
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We've got you a IoveIy IittIe cottage
on Spencer HiII.
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Look forward to meeting you anon. Cheerio.
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NichoIas, Frank again.
One other thing about your cottage.
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It's not ready.
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lt would appear the heavens have opened.
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-l was hoping to check in.
-Check in?
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But you've always been here.
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-Excuse me?
-Oh, l'm sorry.
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l thought you were my husband.
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-You must be Sergeant Angel.
-Yes, l am.
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l'm Joyce Cooper.
l trust you had a pleasant trip. Fascist.
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l beg your pardon?
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''System of Government characterised
by extreme dictatorship.'' Seven across.
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-Oh, l see. lt's ''fascism.''
-Fascism. Wonderful.
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Now, we've put you in the Castle Suite.
Bernard will escort you up there.
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Well, actually,
l could probably make my own way up. Hag.
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l beg your pardon?
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''Evil old woman considered
frightful or ugly.'' lt's 12 down.
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Oh, bless you.
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-Pint of lager, please, Mary.
-Right you are, my love.
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Yes, sir, what can l get you?
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Could l have a glass
of the cranberry juice, please?
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Certainly.
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Now, you wouldn't, by any chance,
be the new policeman?
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Police officer, yes. l'm Nicholas Angel.
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-l'm Roy Porter. This is my wife Mary.
-Mary.
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Welcome to Sandford.
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lf there's anything you need,
just let us know.
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Thank you. Could l borrow
your newspaper?
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lt's not ours, love.
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We're not big fans of the local
fish wrapper, are we, Mare?
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-They listed her age as 55.
-When l'm actually 53.
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Fifty-three.
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-Pint of lager, please, Mary.
-Right you are, my love.
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-Excuse me.
-What?
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-When's your birthday?
-Twenty-second of February.
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-What year?
-Every year.
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Get out.
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-When's your birthday?
-Eighth of May, 1969.
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-You're 37?
-Yeah.
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Get out.
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When's your birthday?
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Out.
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-ls there a problem, Officer?
-Yes, there is, Mr Porter.
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lt would appear a number
of your patrons are under age.
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Well, a few of them may be
a month or two south of proper.
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But if they're in here, it stops
them getting into trouble out there.
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Yeah, the way we see it,
it's all for the greater good.
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The greater good.
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Well, that's as may be, but the
law's the law and they'll have to go.
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-Another cranberry juice?
-l'm fine, thank you.
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l hope you're not planning
on driving that.
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No.
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Right. l'm taking you to the station.
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Where is it?
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What?
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Move.
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''Nicholas Angel.''
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-Oh, when did you start?
-Tomorrow.
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Well, l see you've already arrested
the whole village.
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Not exactly.
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-You in for the night?
-Go on, four's free.
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-Hey, now, l need to speak to him.
-He'll be no use till the morning.
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l see.
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You really want to process all this lot?
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-My pen's running out.
-Not a problem.
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-Morning, Sergeant.
-Morning.
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Morning.
189
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,155
Morning, Sergeant.
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00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,957
Morning, Sergeant.
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00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,916
-Lock me up.
-l'm sorry?
192
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,036
l'm a slasher and l must be stopped.
193
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,395
-You're a what?
-A slasher of prices.
194
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:17,436
Just kidding. l'm Simon Skinner.
l run the local supermarché.
195
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:20,990
Drop in and see me sometime.
My discounts are criminal.
196
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,918
Catch me later!
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00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,035
Morning, Sergeant.
198
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,356
Morning, Sergeant.
199
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,912
Could you tell the lnspector
l've arrived, please?
200
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,474
No.
201
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,234
Why?
202
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,551
He's not in yet.
203
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,195
-Well, how's our guest?
-Guest?
204
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:53,717
-The inebriate in cell four.
-l don't know. Nobody tells me nothing.
205
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Can l get cell four open, please?
206
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,791
Danny, can you open four?
207
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:09,518
-He's gone.
-Oh, my God. Who's gone?
208
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:16,393
-Why are you dressed like a police officer?
-Because l am one.
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00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,549
Sergeant Angel, at last. Frank Butterman.
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00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,638
-l see you've already met my boy.
-Yes.
211
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,671
FRANK: Do forgive me.
l'm something of a Wild West nut.
212
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,912
Speaking of which, that was a fair
few outlaws you rounded up last night.
213
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,593
Thank you, sir.
214
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:39,390
l admire your enthusiasm
and far be it from me to stifle your flair,
215
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,074
but this isn't London.
Oh, yes, please, Danny.
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00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,229
With respect, sir,
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geographical location shouldn't factor
in the application of the law.
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No, thanks.
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00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,594
Statistically, Sandford is
the safest village in the country.
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00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,796
But that doesn't mean
it requires anything less
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than a careful and considered approach.
222
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,118
There's a reason we accommodate
a few of the younglings at the pub.
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-The greater good?
-The greater good. Precisely.
224
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,758
Your predecessor assumed
that rural policing was easy.
225
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,471
Ended up having a nervous breakdown.
226
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:13,519
And Sergeant Popwell was
an exceptional officer, truly exceptional.
227
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,191
And he had one thing you haven't got.
228
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-What's that, sir?
-A great big bushy beard.
229
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,151
Come on, let's have a mosey around.
230
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Locker room.
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00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,433
Riot room.
232
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,959
Evidence room.
233
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,673
Now, how about a trip to the Andes?
234
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:41,435
Detective Sergeant Wainwright
and Detective Constable Cartwright.
235
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,319
Don't get up.
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00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,040
l expect you're wondering
why we call them the Andes.
237
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,635
-They're both called Andrew?
-They said you were good.
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00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,280
Also, because talking to them is
an uphill struggle, isn't it, Dad?
239
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,591
-Fuck off!
-Thank you, Danny.
240
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,398
And this is where it all happens.
241
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,910
That is Sergeant Tony Fisher.
242
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,228
PC Bob Walker.
243
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:12,914
And that is Saxon.
244
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:17,479
And this is one Doris Thatcher.
245
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,551
-She's our only policewoman.
-She's not a policewoman.
246
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,756
-Yeah, she is. l've seen her bra.
-She's a police officer.
247
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,239
Being a woman has nothing to do with it.
248
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,311
Oh, l don't know.
Comes in handy every so often.
249
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,996
l could've given you the tour.
l've been round the station a few times.
250
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,713
And what's upstairs?
251
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,868
Well, well, well, l see we have visitors.
252
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,155
Nicholas, this is Tom Weaver.
253
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,796
Civilian liaison
with the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance.
254
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,872
You'll find that we run
a very tight ship here.
255
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:50,354
From this command centre
l can see what the whole village is up to.
256
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,790
l must say l was rather admiring
your handiwork last night.
257
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,348
lt's a pity you didn't do the same
to those bloody hoodies.
258
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,954
Hanging around. Loitering. Sitting.
259
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,349
Actually, l did notice some
minor graffiti on the fountain.
260
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,670
Graffiti? They've gotta
be dealt with, Frank.
261
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,910
They're nippers, Tom.
They'll come round.
262
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,194
Which reminds me,
263
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,477
our friend, The Living Statue,
was here on Saturday.
264
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:16,395
1 1 :00, 1 2:00, 1 :00, 2:00.
265
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,199
lf we don't come down hard
on these clowns,
266
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,353
-we are gonna be up to our balls in jugglers.
-We'll get right onto it, Tom.
267
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,835
We like to let them think
they run the place.
268
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,592
Well, that's that.
269
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,989
Unless there's anything
you're unclear about?
270
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,152
Yes, sir.
Why is everybody eating chocolate cake?
271
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:39,313
The Black Forest gateau is on Danny.
As punishment for his little indiscretion.
272
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,435
His...
273
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,717
Sir, l don't think driving under the influence
can be called a ''little indiscretion.''
274
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,837
No, the gateau is for misplacing
his helmet the other week.
275
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,708
Last night's incident will require
something rather more serious.
276
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,995
-Good.
-Do you like ice-cream?
277
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,752
l'm sorry, sir, l don't follow.
278
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,435
Let's just say that we won't be short
of Chunky Monkey for the next month.
279
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,195
Dad.
280
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,909
Now, since it's your first day
and it's 11:30, l'd say that's lunch.
281
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:14,397
So, what made you choose Sandford then,
Sergeant Angel?
282
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,038
lt wasn't actually my choice.
283
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:20,113
Oh, right, right, wasn't your choice to come
down here and tell me how to do my job.
284
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,349
Our jobs.
285
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,355
Yeah.
286
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,078
Look, l can assure you it wasn't
my intention to upset the apple cart.
287
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,277
Yeah, 'cause we all sell
apples round here, don't we?
288
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:34,079
-Your dad sells apples, Andy.
-And raspberries.
289
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,628
l bet you can't wait to jump
into Sergeant Popwell's grave.
290
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,790
l'm not jumping into anyone's grave.
291
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,237
-You got a moustache.
-l know.
292
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,917
-Why have you got your stab vest on?
-lt's a requirement.
293
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,118
ln the city maybe.
Nobody's gonna stab you in here, Sergeant.
294
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,311
Not a member of the public anyhow.
295
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,959
-Have you been stabbed, Sergeant Fisher?
-No.
296
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,393
Well, l have.
297
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,948
And l can assure you
it is not in the least bit amusing.
298
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,994
Have you seen a lot of action,
Sergeant Angel?
299
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,911
l've experienced my fair share, yes.
300
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,389
-Did you cook any fools?
-Excuse me?
301
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:11,674
Did you shoot anybody?
302
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,957
He shot a crack head with a Kalashnikov.
303
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,075
-Where did you get that?
-The offender had the Kalashnikov.
304
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,195
Where'd he get that?
305
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,352
You do know there are more guns
in the country than there are in the city?
306
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,352
Everybody and their mums
is packing round here.
307
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,036
-Like who?
-Farmers.
308
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,509
-Who else?
-Farmers's mums.
309
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,313
What's it like being stabbed?
310
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,117
lt was the single most painful
experience of my life.
311
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,475
What was the second most painful?
312
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:51,989
You ever fired two guns
whilst jumping through the air?
313
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,029
No.
314
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,069
You ever fired one gun
whilst jumping through the air?
315
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,109
No.
316
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,149
-Ever been in a high speed pursuit?
-Yes, l have.
317
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,189
You ever fired a gun
whilst in a high speed pursuit?
318
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:58,229
No.
319
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:02,998
Annette, that Sergaeant Angel's
coming into your shop.
320
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,672
Get a Iook at his arse.
321
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,436
-What about LethaI Weapon?
-No.
322
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,431
-You've seen Die Hard, though?
-No.
323
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,078
-Bad Boys II?
-No.
324
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,798
You ain't seen Bad Boys II?
325
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,437
-Hell of a day, huh?
-Yeah.
326
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,033
-Same again tomorrow?
-Yeah.
327
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,717
Amanda Paver,
headmistress of Sandford Primary.
328
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,153
How do you do, Sergeant?
329
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:34,870
-Simon Skinner, l believe you've met.
-Oh, we're already firm friends.
330
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,871
Oh, please, please, come with me, will you?
331
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,757
This is Leslie Tiller,
332
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,999
whose horticultural expertise
has helped put Sandford on the map.
333
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,470
-She's ever so good.
-Oh, go on.
334
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,869
This is James Reaper,
who owns Brannigan Farm.
335
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,598
l hear you're quite the marksman.
336
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,035
Perhaps you might like to join us
for a shoot one day.
337
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:54,554
Well, l haven't held a firearm
for over two years, Mr Reaper.
338
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,198
l'd quite like to keep it that way.
339
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,952
You will be popular
with the local birds.
340
00:21:58,480 --> 00:21:59,674
Birds.
341
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,834
Nicholas, hello. Reverend Shooter.
342
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,431
l want to ask you, would you read
a homily at Sunday Service?
343
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,511
That might be a little
hypocritical of me, Reverend.
344
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,750
Oh, you're an atheist?
345
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,239
No, l'm... l'm...
346
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,232
l'm open to the concept of religion,
l'm just not entirely convinced by it.
347
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,834
-You're an agnostic?
-l think l have a cream for that.
348
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,912
Robin Hatcher, our resident sawbones.
349
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,798
Hopefully we won't see too much
of each other over the coming months.
350
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,517
Well, all that remains is to welcome you
351
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,991
to the weekly meeting
of the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance.
352
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:38,193
Now, quick announcement before we begin.
353
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,836
Janet Barker has just given birth to twins.
354
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,116
So, congratulations to her.
355
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,395
-Tom?
-Thanks, Joyce.
356
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:47,995
Now.
357
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:53,475
l am sure that all of you will have noticed
the return of a blight to our streets.
358
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:57,712
lt's made all the more disturbing as
the Village of the Year contest looms.
359
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:03,355
l refer, of course,
to the extremely irritating Living Statue.
360
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,677
Police work ia as much
about preventing crime
361
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,512
as it is about fighting crime.
362
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,956
Most importantly,
it is about procedural correctness
363
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,316
in the execution
of unquestionable moral authority.
364
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,719
Any questions?
365
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,154
Yes.
366
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,834
ls it true that there is a place
in a man's head
367
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,956
that if you shoot it, it will blow up?
368
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,119
Hi, hi, Tim Messenger.
369
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,395
Can l get a quick shot
for the Sandford Citizen?
370
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:39,595
Okay.
371
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,716
How about you put the teacher
in handcuffs?
372
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,233
l don't think that gives
off the right signals.
373
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,117
Too cheesy-pie. Okay. Gotcha.
374
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,511
-Give the little blonde kid your hat.
-l'd rather not.
375
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,791
-Wave your hitting stick about.
-No.
376
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,074
Righty-ho-ho.
377
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,278
Oh, can l have your
autograph, please?
378
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,112
-For the breakfast.
-Oh, sorry.
379
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,950
Hey, that weren't me.
380
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,628
-Morning, Angle.
-Good morning, Angle.
381
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,872
-Morning, Angle.
-Morning, Angle.
382
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,349
-Sergeant Angel.
-Morning. The swan's escaped.
383
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:19,839
-The swan's escaped?
-Yeah.
384
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,036
Right. And where has the swan
escaped from exactly?
385
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:23,951
-The castIe.
-Oh, yeah? And who might you be?
386
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,237
Mr Staker. Yeah, Mr Peter Ian Staker.
387
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,278
P.l. Staker. Right. Piss taker. Come on!
388
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:34,115
Yes, Mr Staker. We'll do everything we can.
Can you describe it to me?
389
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,997
lt's about two foot tall.
390
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,435
-Long slender neck.
-Yeah.
391
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,273
-Kind of orange and black bill.
-Anything else?
392
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:43,713
Well, it's a swan.
393
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:52,594
That's just gonna scare it.
394
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:02,356
-No luck catching them swans then?
-lt's just the one swan, actually.
395
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,470
-Want anything from the shop?
-You've just been to the shop.
396
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,519
l was thinking of a different shop.
397
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,068
Constable Butterman,
this is not the time for personal errands.
398
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,630
-Well, there's nothing going on, is there?
-There is always something going on.
399
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,474
You have to look closer, all right?
What about this guy?
400
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,428
-Mr Treacher?
-Yeah.
401
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,511
Why has he got that big coat on?
402
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,275
He can't be cold. Why the extra layer?
Maybe he's trying to hide something.
403
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:30,239
Mr Treacher?
404
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,434
Okay. What about this guy?
405
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,875
Ask yourself, why has he got his hat
pulled down like that?
406
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,111
-He's fuck ugly.
-Or he doesn't want you to see his face.
407
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,156
Because he's fuck ugly.
408
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,232
Okay, what's his story?
409
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:43,719
-Oh, that's Lurch.
-Go on.
410
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,995
-He's a trolley boy at the local supermarket.
-Good.
411
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:47,832
Real name, Michael Armstrong.
412
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,036
-Dad says he's got a child's mind.
-Okay.
413
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:52,156
And lives up Summer Street
with his mum and his sister.
414
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:53,434
And are they as big as he is?
415
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,034
-Who?
-The mum and the sister.
416
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:57,553
Same person.
417
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,199
What shop were you thinking of?
418
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,636
Sergeant Angel to
the Manager's office.
419
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,678
Manager's office. Sergeant AngeI.
420
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:34,273
Sergeant Angel. Or is it Angle?
421
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,832
Mr Skinner, a baby's sicked up in aisle six.
422
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,148
Please excuse me. Michael!
423
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:43,355
Yarp.
424
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,750
-Child vomit. Aisle six. Mop it up.
-Yarp.
425
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,912
-Mr Skinner, is there a problem?
-No, no, no, no.
426
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:54,073
l simply wanted to say how lovely it is
to see you supporting your local store.
427
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,354
Well, that's quite all right.
428
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:59,513
All too many have defected
to the big Megamart in Buford Abbey.
429
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,878
May their heads be struck
from their shoulders for such disloyalty.
430
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,872
Yes, well, l am on duty,
so if you'll excuse me.
431
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,316
Of course. l simply spied you loitering
in organic produce
432
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,914
and assumed you had time on your hands.
433
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,549
Well, maybe l'm not the one
you should be keeping an eye on.
434
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,753
That's the Fridge Magnate.
His name's George Merchant.
435
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,913
Made a fortune in kitchen goods.
Built that monstrosity on Norris Avenue.
436
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,989
Actually, l wasn't talking about him.
437
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,319
l was talking about him.
438
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:34,759
Excuse me.
439
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,429
Excuse me.
440
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,758
''Meet the cop that can't be stopped.''
441
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:11,308
Tosser!
442
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:14,759
Trouble in the high street.
443
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,432
Sergeant AngeI's having a spot of bother.
444
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,669
Roger that.
445
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:28,868
Morning, Sergeant.
446
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,114
You mothers.
447
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:45,271
-Let's cut through here. Head him off.
-Through the gardens?
448
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,874
What's the matter, Danny?
You never taken a shortcut before.
449
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,992
Hey, give me that!
450
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,151
''You do not have to say anything,
however it may harm your defence
451
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,834
''if you fail to mention when questioned
something you later rely on in court.
452
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,911
''Anything you do say
can be given in evidence.''
453
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,592
-Hi, Danny.
-All right, Pete?
454
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:47,749
Do you know this man?
455
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,478
Yeah, he's Auntie Jackie's
sister's brother's boy.
456
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,357
And it didn't occur to you
to mention this before?
457
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,159
Couldn't see his face, could l?
l'm not made of eyes.
458
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,072
lmpressive collar.
459
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:08,594
Shame Mr Skinner
doesn't want to press charges.
460
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,079
What do you mean,
he doesn't wanna press charges?
461
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,835
l'm simply suggesting that, you know,
Peter be given a second chance
462
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,753
before he becomes
just another crime statistic.
463
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,559
l'm sure he's going to learn
a valuable lesson.
464
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,189
-Stealing biscuits is wrong?
-Correct.
465
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:24,315
Thanks.
466
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,153
And yet we respond by not taking
a single punitive measure?
467
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,073
Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.
468
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:31,991
Like the biscuits, isn't it?
469
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,833
-Mr Skinner...
-ls everything all right?
470
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:39,750
Well, sir, Mr Skinner feels it would
be better not to prosecute an individual
471
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,831
that has committed a blatant offence.
472
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,319
Leave this with me.
473
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,437
l'll make sure everyone gets
their just deserts.
474
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,317
Oh, no!
475
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:52,473
Twenty-seven.
476
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,950
-DANNY: Have you ever seen Point Break?
-No.
477
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,270
Amazing bit in Point Break
where they jump over fences.
478
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,191
ls there now? Twenty-nine.
479
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:03,113
Patrick Swayze's just robbed this bank
and Keanu Reeves is chasing him
480
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,998
through people's gardens,
and he goes to shoot Swayze but he can't,
481
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,195
'cause he loves him so much,
482
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,350
and he's firing his gun up in the air,
he's like...
483
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:10,793
Forty.
484
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:12,598
Have you ever fired your gun up
in the air and gone...
485
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,877
No, l have not ever fired my gun
up in the air and gone...
486
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,359
Thirty.
487
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,989
Sorry, l... l just...
l just feel like l'm missing out sometimes.
488
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,958
-l wanna do what you do.
-You do, do what l do.
489
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:25,758
What on earth
do you think you're missing out on?
490
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:29,150
Gun fights. Car chases.
Proper action and shit.
491
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,516
Police work is not about
proper action or shit.
492
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,633
Twenty-nine.
493
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:35,994
lf you had paid attention to me in school,
494
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,117
you'd understand that it's not all about
gun fights and car chases.
495
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:41,748
Fire up the roof.
496
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:47,838
That was brilliant.
497
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,829
Was l going a tad fast, Officer?
498
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,311
Yes, you were, Mr Blower.
499
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,517
Well, now, you see,
we are staging a homage
500
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:02,513
to William Shakespeare's Romeo and JuIiet
and l'm a little late for the dress rehearsal.
501
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,512
l'm playing the eponymous hero, you see.
502
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,312
Romeo not Juliet.
503
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,199
-What are you writing?
-Everything you're saying.
504
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,633
l might need to refer to it later.
505
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:17,633
Now, Officer, l am a respected solicitor
so there's no need to...
506
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,193
Just stop writing, will you?
507
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:24,274
Look, l'm merely trying to explain
why l might have exceeded the speed limit.
508
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,033
You're playing the male lead
in a homage to William Shakespeare's
509
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:29,918
Romeo and JuIiet
and you're late for the dress rehearsal.
510
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,753
You think this is sufficient reason
to travel at 48 in a 30 zone?
511
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:34,592
-Well, l...
-To flout speed limits
512
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,559
-specifically put in place to save lives.
-Just, look, this is preposterous.
513
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:42,269
-''Preposterous.''
-Look, just stop writing!
514
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,430
''Stop writing.''
515
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,959
Look, you're right, l apologise.
516
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,550
-See what l did there?
-You hypnotised him.
517
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:54,993
No, l used this.
518
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,469
This is the most important piece
of equipment you will ever own.
519
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,313
This notebook has saved my skin
more times than l care to mention.
520
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,879
You should think
about using yours more often.
521
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,871
-l do use mine.
-Show me.
522
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,072
-That's just extraordinary.
-You should see the one on the other side.
523
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,758
-What are you up to tonight?
-l have to water my Peace Lily.
524
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:22,319
Thought you might wanna do something.
525
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,392
-What exactly were you thinking?
-Don't know. Pub?
526
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,597
l don't think that's a good idea. Do you?
527
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:32,913
You two.
528
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:37,278
A Mr Blower left you tickets
for Romeo and JuIiet tonight.
529
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:38,679
Said it was by way of an apology.
530
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,239
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
531
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,519
Well, we can't accept gifts from somebody
we've officially rebuked. So...
532
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,109
Yeah.
533
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,913
Nicholas. Glad l caught you.
534
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,595
Wondered if you wouldn't mind
representing us at the am drams tonight.
535
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,478
-Yes, sir, of course.
-And there's a spare for Danny, too.
536
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,836
Yeah! Hey, come on, it might be fun.
537
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:06,229
A dateless bargain to engrossing death.
538
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,794
Here's to my love.
539
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,515
Now.
540
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,510
Poison? l'll kiss thy lips.
541
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,358
Happily some poison
doth yet hang on them.
542
00:34:35,720 --> 00:34:36,835
Bang!
543
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:58,037
Sergeant Angel, hi-hi.
Quick word for the Sandford Citizen.
544
00:34:58,680 --> 00:34:59,908
lt was very enjoyable.
545
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,150
-''Cop Enjoys Watching Young Lovers''?
-l don't think so.
546
00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:03,798
''Local Bobby Gives Thumbs Up
To Teen Suicide''?
547
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:05,393
That's just grossly inappropriate.
548
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:09,316
You will try and spell his name
correctly this time, won't you, Timothy?
549
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,755
Absolute tosh, wasn't it?
550
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,953
And annoyingly, the understudies
are actually professional actors.
551
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,475
Greg over there was an extra in Straw Dogs
552
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,357
and Sheree portrayed a cadaver
in Prime Suspect.
553
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,510
Sergeant Angel, you came?
554
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,831
So thrilled you accepted my invitation.
555
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,753
Well, our lnspector
requested we attend. So...
556
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:33,436
Yeah, we can't accept gifts from
someone we've officially rebuked so...
557
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:34,794
Jog on.
558
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,512
Congratulations to you and to Mrs Blower.
559
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:45,276
Oh, this is not my wife.
This is Miss Draper. My leading lady.
560
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,872
Eve works in the local council, Sergeant.
Quite the lady in the know.
561
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,793
-l am not.
-Nonsense.
562
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:58,352
l'm sure if we bashed your head in, all sorts
of secrets would come tumbling out.
563
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:04,558
Romeo, Romeo, a pint of bitter for Romeo?
564
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,437
Thank you very much for coming, George.
Excuse us.
565
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,556
A pleasure, my liege.
566
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:11,916
-Eve's nice, ain't she?
-She certainly has a distinctive laugh.
567
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,276
She was in my year at school.
Always had a thing for her.
568
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,917
She clearly has a thing for older men.
569
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,195
What, with Martin Blower? No way!
570
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,240
We just sat through three hours
of so-called acting, Constable,
571
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,959
their kiss was
the only convincing moment in it.
572
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,632
Hey, now you come to mention it,
573
00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:31,234
l too have reason to believe
she favours the older gent.
574
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:32,389
Really? How so?
575
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,438
Marcus Carter's big brother said
he'd fingered her up the duck pond.
576
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,392
Oh, Officers.
577
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,950
Again let me extend
my sincere apologies for earlier.
578
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:47,271
That's quite all right, Mr Blower. Drive safe.
579
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,317
''Drive safe.'' Oh, my God.
580
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,675
You know that's the bloke
we done for speeding earlier.
581
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,558
Yeah. Hopefully,
that's the last we'll see of him.
582
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:13,674
Who is it?
583
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:19,149
We haven't got long.
584
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:22,189
To us.
585
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:25,514
Who is it?
586
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:38,194
Yeah?
587
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,712
-...decaffeinated?
-Decaffeinated?
588
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:50,078
Little Brian Libby found them,
out on his paper round.
589
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,559
Oh, he'll be having nightmares for a while.
590
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,754
Must have hit the sign at some speed.
Took the whole top off.
591
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:00,752
-l've had my top off in this lay-by.
-Tits.
592
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:07,109
Most likely lost control,
left the road there and then ended up here.
593
00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:12,872
So, what do we reckon?
594
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,039
Sergeant Angel?
595
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,319
Well, we should get a proper cordon off,
screen the remains from public view.
596
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,038
Close down the road
until the ambulance crew arrives,
597
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,317
whereupon we should open
a single lane of traffic and ease congestion.
598
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,114
Very good.
599
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:26,795
What he said.
600
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,996
-What happened, Danny?
-Car accident.
601
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,752
Nasty way to go.
602
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,471
Constable, official vocab guidelines state
603
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,518
we no longer refer to these incidents
as ''accidents,'' they're now ''collisions.''
604
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:42,635
Right.
605
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:48,590
''For never was there a story of more woe.
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.''
606
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:52,395
-Excuse me?
-Martin and Eve. Such a tragedy.
607
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:53,993
Mr Skinner, do you mind telling me
608
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,196
how you know the identity
of the persons involved?
609
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,590
You know how it is. News travels fast.
610
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,759
A Iove struck Romeo
sings a streetsus serenade
611
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,635
-What happened, Danny?
-Traffic collision.
612
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,671
Hey, why can't we say ''accident'' again?
613
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,115
Because ''accident'' implies
there's nobody to blame.
614
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:14,913
Put a sock in it, town mouse.
615
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,595
Yeah, you wanna be a big cop in
a small town, fuck off up the model village.
616
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,989
l'm just saying,
things aren't always as simple as they look.
617
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,832
Most times they are.
618
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,559
Let's just wait till Doctor Hatcher
comes back with something,
619
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,108
before you go jumping the Kalashnikov.
620
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,192
All right, in the meantime, why don't you
check out a few of Martin Blower's clients?
621
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:34,033
Martin Blower represents
damn near most of the village.
622
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:35,599
Did you want us to go through
the whole phone book?
623
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,353
Yeah, or put a call into Aaron A. Aaronson,
shall we?
624
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:39,714
Please, don't be childish.
625
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,028
At least consider interviewing the widow.
626
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,111
Martin Blower was clearly having
an affair with Eve Draper.
627
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,476
Oh, and how did you establish that?
628
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,199
'Cause we sat through three hours
of so-called acting last night,
629
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,589
and the kiss was
the only convincing moment in it.
630
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,671
All right, pipe down, big one.
631
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,194
Here, what else you got,
Crockett and Tubby?
632
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,589
-Skid marks.
-Now who's being childish?
633
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:00,432
There were no skid marks at the scene.
634
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,353
Doesn't it seem a little strange that
Martin Blower would lose control of his car
635
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,271
and not think to apply the brakes?
636
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:07,108
lf there were no skid marks it follows
637
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:10,954
that for 300 yards both driver and passenger
did nothing to prevent their fate.
638
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,951
You don't have to be a detective
to work that out!
639
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,155
Yeah.
640
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:17,198
-Are you causing trouble?
-Yes, they are.
641
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:20,352
Well, a spot of bother up at Ellroy Farm.
642
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,796
Old Arthur Webley's been clipping
hedgerows that don't belong to him.
643
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,518
-Yes, sir?
-That's it.
644
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:27,549
Yes, sir.
645
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,477
-Why do we need the dog?
-lt's not the dog we need.
646
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:44,955
Right.
647
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:46,109
What did he say?
648
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:53,352
-What did he say?
-He said, ''An 'edge is an 'edge.
649
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:54,953
''He only chopped it down
'cause it spoilt his view.
650
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,393
''What's Reaper moaning about?''
651
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:57,515
Right.
652
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:58,874
Look, l appreciate your position,
Mr Webley,
653
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,997
but you can't go around chopping down
other people's hedges without permission.
654
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,234
''Yes, l suppose.''
655
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:06,389
Thank you.
656
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:08,553
All right.
657
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,879
Mr Webley, l trust you have
a licence for that firearm?
658
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:16,673
He does for this one.
659
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:19,759
What do you mean by ''this one''?
660
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,360
By the power of Grey Skull.
661
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,317
Where on earth did you get these?
662
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,231
-Found them.
-He found them!
663
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,756
-And what is this?
-Sea mine.
664
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:44,319
Sea mine.
665
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:46,994
Well, Mr Webley,
this is an extremely dangerous collection.
666
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:48,513
lt's a wonder nobody's been hurt before.
667
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,511
No, it's just a lot of junk.
668
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,191
Move, move, move!
669
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,073
-You what?
-No, apparently it's been deactivated. Over.
670
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,151
That's right, deactivated!
671
00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:31,071
-lt's not live.
-lt looks live.
672
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,195
AII right.
673
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,510
That was quite an impressive haul today,
Constable Butterman.
674
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,876
Well, you know, l mean, maybe
we should do something to celebrate.
675
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:01,313
Unless you gotta water your Peace Lily.
676
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,676
-What exactly did you have in mind?
-l don't know. Pub?
677
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:11,679
Right you are, my love.
678
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,751
Yes, sirs, what can l get you?
679
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:15,353
Pint of lager, please, Roy.
680
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:16,998
And what can l get you
that isn't a cranberry juice?
681
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:19,594
-l don't really wanna get drunk.
-You can get a little drunk.
682
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,274
-Okay, l'll have one.
-Yeah, that's what l'm talking about.
683
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,511
Mr Porter, what's your wine selection?
684
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:29,037
Oh, we got red or white.
685
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:33,237
-l'll have a pint of lager, please.
-Yeah, Roy.
686
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:42,198
-Any news from earlier?
-Yeah. CSl found nothing.
687
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:46,592
Doctor Hatcher reported no misadventure
and Mrs Blower has four alibis.
688
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:52,391
Now, come on, Sergeant, it's not your job
to investigate this incident, is it?
689
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:54,275
ls it?
690
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,715
-No, it isn't.
-No, it isn't.
691
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:02,277
-You don't switch off, do you?
-You sound like my ex.
692
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:06,270
-Well, you are always thinking away.
-lt's what l do.
693
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:09,636
-Don't get me wrong. l think it's amazing.
-Really?
694
00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:12,234
l mean,
what made you wanna be a policeman?
695
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:13,355
Officer.
696
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,908
What made you wanna be
a policeman-officer?
697
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,636
l don't remember a time
when l didn't wanna be a police officer.
698
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:25,315
Apart from the summer of 1979
when l wanted to be Kermit the Frog.
699
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:30,114
lt all started with my Uncle Derek.
He was a Sergeant in the Met.
700
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,998
He bought me a police pedal car
when l was five.
701
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,116
l rode round in it every second l was awake.
702
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,431
Arresting kids twice my size
for littering and spitting.
703
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,478
l got beaten up a lot when l was young
but it didn't stop me.
704
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,391
l wanted to be like Uncle Derek.
705
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:44,515
He sounds like a good bloke.
706
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,830
Actually, he was arrested
for selling drugs to students.
707
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:47,989
What a cunt.
708
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,389
Probably bought the pedal car
with the proceeds.
709
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,631
Needless to say l never went near it again.
l just let it rust.
710
00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:55,676
But l never forgot
the clear sense of right and wrong
711
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,671
that l felt at the wheel of that pedal car.
712
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,274
l had to prove to myself
that the law could be proper
713
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,635
and righteous
and for the good of humankind.
714
00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:06,190
lt was from that moment,
l was destined to be a police officer.
715
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,711
-Shame.
-How so?
716
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,234
l think you would've made a great muppet.
717
00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:17,473
What about you? What made you
wanna become a police officer?
718
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,832
l don't know. Dad does it.
719
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:24,913
l think after my mum died, it's what
he wanted, you know, keep me close by.
720
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:28,834
-Do you mind if l ask how she died?
-Traffic collision.
721
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:30,919
l'm sorry.
722
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,156
Never mind. Hey, watch this.
723
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,749
-Jesus Christ!
-Oh, my eye!
724
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:40,475
Ta-da!
725
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,312
Hey, come on, silly bollocks,
get them in.
726
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,833
-777.
-Mr Skinner.
727
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,388
-You know George Merchant, don't you?
-Evening, Officer.
728
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,278
Yes, we were just discussing
the accident.
729
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,636
l'd come to know Martin
and Eve very well of late.
730
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:07,199
Such a loss.
731
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:09,635
What say we drink to their demise?
732
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:11,199
Shouldn't that be ''drink
to their memories''?
733
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,430
Of course. Cheers.
734
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,272
l must go to the
little boys' room.
735
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,239
-l'm all right!
-''Little'' being the operative word.
736
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,268
Oh, he'll be in bits tomorrow.
737
00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:33,280
l think somebody needs to go home.
738
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:36,989
-l'm... l'm not that drunk, sir.
-Not you. Him.
739
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,274
What?
740
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:45,189
Hey, we did get a little drunk.
Did you get it?
741
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:47,874
'Cause he's... He's little and he's drunk.
742
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,471
Oh, good grief.
743
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,633
lt's hardly in keeping
with the village's rustic aesthetic, is it?
744
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,829
-How much do l owe you?
-Twenty quid.
745
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:00,831
There you go.
746
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,436
-And there's your change.
-God bless you.
747
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:05,274
Bye-bye.
748
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,713
l'm all right.
749
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:14,592
l would not wanna be him in the morning.
750
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,998
Well, this is me.
751
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:32,155
Well, l shall see you in the morning.
752
00:47:32,240 --> 00:47:34,993
Unless you wanna come in
for a cup of coffee?
753
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:37,640
-l don't drink coffee.
-Tea?
754
00:47:37,720 --> 00:47:39,676
No caffeine after midday.
755
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,197
How about another beer?
756
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:50,715
Oh, dear.
757
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:59,997
-When did you move in?
-About five years ago.
758
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:03,754
-You should get some house plants.
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
759
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,559
Yeah. l've been tending my Peace Lily
for about three years now.
760
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:11,470
lt oxygenates the room,
helps you think, relieves stress.
761
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,312
lts needs are simple.
762
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:20,477
Janine used to say l love my Lily
more than l loved her.
763
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,710
-ls that why you split up?
-What?
764
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,876
-'Cause you did it with a plant?
-No, no, no.
765
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:30,350
lt was more about me being
obsessed with the job.
766
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,870
That's good though, right?
767
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:34,759
ls it though?
768
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:39,914
l did miss a few dinners.
You know, parties, a birthday or two.
769
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,912
-Listen, mate, l...
-Her dad's funeral.
770
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:48,232
-l just wanna be good at what l do.
-You are good at what you do.
771
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,912
You've just gotta learn to switch off
that big old melon of yours.
772
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:57,871
That's the whole problem, Danny.
773
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,031
l don't think l know how.
774
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,831
l can show you how.
775
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,160
By the power of Grey Skull.
776
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:17,189
Point Break or Bad Boys II?
777
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:18,554
Which one do you think l'll prefer?
778
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:20,676
No, l mean which one
do you wanna watch first?
779
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:21,909
You are pulling my leg?
780
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:03,191
What did you think of that?
781
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:05,953
Well, l won't argue
that it was a no holds barred,
782
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,952
adrenalin fuelled thrill ride
but there's no way you could perpetrate
783
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:13,113
that amount of carnage and mayhem and not
incur a considerable amount of paperwork.
784
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:14,474
That is nothing, man.
785
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:16,152
This is about to go off.
786
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:33,113
This shit just got reaI.
787
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:38,512
Nasty way to go.
788
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:42,434
l think our Mr Merchant tried to have
a little fry up and left the gas on.
789
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:47,237
Spends his whole life
devoted to the refrigerator
790
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,755
then gets killed by an oven.
791
00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:53,871
l told him several times,
you shouldn't eat late at night.
792
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,758
Oh, l don't know.
l quite like a little midnight gobble.
793
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:57,989
Cocks.
794
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:01,595
So, what do we reckon? Angel?
795
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:03,949
Help me.
796
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,870
Okay, we get a proper cordon up,
we let the fire crews finish their stuff,
797
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,599
and then we get forensics in
to do a thorough sweep of the house.
798
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:13,274
Very good. What he said.
799
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,396
Sergeant Angel, hi-hi. A quick word?
800
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,710
Mr Messenger,
a statement will be issued shortly.
801
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:20,360
Actually, l just wanted to ask,
''What's your perfect Sunday?''
802
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:22,715
l'll deal with the press, Sergeant.
803
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:27,555
Now, my perfect Sunday
is a lovely long lie in...
804
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:32,637
Fire to destroy aII you've done
805
00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:37,914
Like in the films.
806
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:40,954
Something like,
something out of Backdraft.
807
00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:45,871
-What are you thinking? Foul play?
-Maybe.
808
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:49,756
We're just hoping to talk to the last people
to see Mr Merchant alive.
809
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:55,029
Namely a Sergeant Knickerless Asswipe
and a Constable Fanny Batterbum.
810
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,918
-That's us.
-Why is this such a big joke to you?
811
00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,399
Three people have died in a week.
812
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,994
Oh, come on, Doctor Sherlock,
they were accidents.
813
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:03,513
People have accidents every day.
814
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,398
-The victims knew each other.
-Everyone knows everyone round here.
815
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:09,597
Yeah. lf you didn't see anything suspicious,
then who did?
816
00:52:14,720 --> 00:52:16,551
lt's a bit of a blind spot, l'm afraid.
817
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,790
We just catch the very edge
of the explosion.
818
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:20,632
Nasty way to go.
819
00:52:20,720 --> 00:52:23,188
-There was something took my eye.
-Really? What's that?
820
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,116
Sandford's most wanted.
821
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,195
There you go. lt was the swan all along.
822
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:33,431
-This is not funny, Detective!
-Oh, give over, Miss Marples.
823
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,829
Yeah, you do your job
and we'll do ours, eh?
824
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,070
Yeah. Haven't you got
a church fete to look after?
825
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,037
No, l have not!
826
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:42,075
Actually.
827
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:49,029
Testing. Testing.
828
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:50,069
Someone's in for a surprise at 3:00,
ladies and gentlemen.
829
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:51,109
It's the raffIe with
a very speciaI guest presenter.
830
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:54,388
Out in the country
831
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:58,394
Far from aII the sorts
of noise of the city
832
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:00,949
There's a viIIage green
833
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:04,749
It's been a Iong time
since I Iast set eyes
834
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:06,876
On the church with a steepIe
835
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:09,076
That's me after a couple of pints.
836
00:53:09,240 --> 00:53:10,559
Splat the rat.
837
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:14,752
Splat the rat.
838
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:18,716
Splat the rat.
839
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:22,239
Shark!
840
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,877
Seen any murderings, Nicholarse?
841
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:28,474
Come on, boys.
Leave Sergeant Angel alone, he's working.
842
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,870
Sorry, Chief,
won't waste any more police time.
843
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:33,109
Have a nice time.
844
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:35,509
Actually, Nicholas,
you might as well take a break.
845
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:38,273
Hey, great. l've got something to show you.
846
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,833
-This is a rifle range.
-You'll be really good at it.
847
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,275
Feeling lucky, Sergeant?
848
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:54,517
Three cans wins you the squeaky bunny,
five cans gets you the floppy lion.
849
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:59,469
Take out all the little people,
you get to waltz off with the cuddly monkey.
850
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,836
l thought l made it clear to you
how l feel about firearms.
851
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:06,150
lt's only an air rifle.
852
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:07,555
Sergeant.
853
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:27,078
Dear Lord!
854
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,391
That was amazing.
855
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:37,478
-Thank you, Danny.
-l can't believe l shot someone.
856
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:40,677
-He's a doctor, he can deal with it.
-l never shot anyone before.
857
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:42,876
Danny, believe me,
it's not something you ever get used to.
858
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:45,110
Yeah. Maybe we should
go on the bouncy castle.
859
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:46,235
Take our minds off of it.
860
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,151
-Sergeant Angel, hi-hi.
-Mr Messenger.
861
00:54:48,240 --> 00:54:50,754
l need to talk to you
about George Merchant. Alone.
862
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,350
Churchyard. 3:00.
863
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:56,029
What do you think he wants?
864
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,032
REVEREND SHOOTER: Would
Sergeant Angel com to the stage, please?
865
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:05,748
Here to announce the winners is the newest
addition to the Sandford PoIice Force.
866
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:06,909
Service.
867
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,672
Sergeant NichoIas AngeI.
868
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:12,348
-Prick.
-Wanker.
869
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,670
HeIIo. HeIIo.
870
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:36,477
The first name is Simon Skinner.
871
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:40,839
He's in the loo.
872
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,835
Too much of Joyce's Iemonade, perhaps.
873
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:07,589
And the next name is...
874
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:24,590
Tim, your number's up.
875
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:34,838
Excuse me. Excuse me.
876
00:56:37,240 --> 00:56:38,389
Hi-hi.
877
00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:43,948
Oh, no!
878
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:51,878
Stand back, stand back!
There's been a terrible accident.
879
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:54,554
-Accident?
-Just an accident.
880
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,799
lt's all right, it's all right.
There's nothing to see.
881
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:01,555
Come on, everybody. lt's all right.
lt's just an accident.
882
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:11,478
FRANK: Nicholas, what is it?
883
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:15,439
Sir, l think all these deaths are linked.
l think Tim Messenger was murdered.
884
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:18,877
-Who could do something like this?
-Maybe it was the swan.
885
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,918
-Apparently, they can break a man's arm.
-Or blow up a man's house.
886
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,833
-Listen, you pair of...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Nicholas.
887
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:27,550
Now, let me get this straight.
888
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:32,354
-Are you saying that this is a crime scene?
-Yes, sir, l am.
889
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:33,759
Very well.
890
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:35,315
-Detectives.
-Sir.
891
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:36,913
Start interviewing everyone
who was at the fete.
892
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:38,035
Oh, he's got shorts on.
893
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,189
-Sergeant Fisher?
-What?
894
00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:40,633
-Secure the area.
-What?
895
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:41,869
-PC Thatcher?
-Yes, love?
896
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,518
Get the CSl down here.
897
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:44,749
PC Walker?
898
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,035
Patrol the churchyard with Saxon.
899
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:50,192
Nicholas, Danny, you know what to do.
900
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:58,310
Do you really think this is murder?
901
00:57:58,480 --> 00:57:59,993
l just don't think we should rule it out,
that's all.
902
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:01,513
Yeah. l think you're right.
903
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,750
l think you're talking a load of old shit.
904
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:07,557
He thinks you're talking a load of shit.
Swings and roundabouts, isn't it?
905
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:09,074
CARTWRlGHT: Pain in the arse.
906
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,276
-Did you find anything?
-Yeah.
907
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:13,112
l was extremely shocked
when l looked at my watch
908
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:14,553
and discovered that
l should be in the pub.
909
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:16,835
Did you go to his house?
Did you read his articles?
910
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:20,230
lf you wanna wade through every copy of
the Sandford bIoody Citizen, be our guest.
911
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:22,151
lt's your job, isn't it? Detect!
912
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:26,313
This ain't the city, Mr Angel.
Not everyone's a murdering psychopath.
913
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:29,756
lt's high time you realised that.
You and your monkey.
914
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:34,837
Did he mean me or that?
915
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:38,556
Oh, maybe we should go home.
916
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:41,718
-What do you mean?
-Well,there's nothing going on,is there?
917
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:43,358
Have you listened to anything
that l've said?
918
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:44,509
What do you mean?
919
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:46,079
ls anything l've told you
in the last two weeks
920
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,116
-sunk into that thick skull of yours?
-Yeah.
921
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:49,838
Has it? Like what?
922
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,191
You said l could be
an amazing policeman-officer.
923
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:54,589
There's always something going on, Danny.
924
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:58,150
And you won't be an amazing police officer
until you understand that.
925
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:00,515
Well, l remembered something else
you said and all.
926
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:02,158
-Oh, did you now?
-Yeah.
927
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,435
You don't know how to switch off!
928
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:38,639
WeII, if you wanna wade
through every copy
929
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:40,915
of the Sandford bloody Citizen,
be our guest.
930
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,468
-Morning, Constable.
-All right?
931
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:22,591
Thanks for the monkey.
932
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:25,834
-Yours, isn't it?
-l won it for you.
933
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:31,197
Danny, l think l'm on to something.
934
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:32,395
-Are you?
-Yes.
935
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:36,632
And l think with a little deliberation
we can figure out what links these deaths.
936
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:40,356
-We?
-Come on, partner. Let's go to work.
937
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:43,271
Oh, oh, Sergeant Angel?
938
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:47,797
-Someone from London called for you.
-Tell them l'll call them back.
939
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:49,669
-Tim Messenger.
-Go.
940
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:51,512
Editor and journalist
at The Sandford Citizen.
941
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:52,828
-Fondness for puns.
-Go on.
942
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:53,989
-Terrible speller.
-Oh, yeah?
943
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:55,957
Nevertheless had uncovered
important information about...
944
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:57,712
-George Merchant.
-Self-made millionaire.
945
01:00:57,800 --> 01:00:59,916
Fancied himself as a property developer.
946
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:02,639
-Said he had big plans for Sandford.
-Pissed on the floor in The Crown.
947
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:04,790
But more importantly,
was a good friend and client of...
948
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:06,552
-Martin Blower.
-Respected solicitor.
949
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:08,790
-Affirmatron.
-Leading light of the local drama society.
950
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:10,233
-Bad actor.
-Undoubtedly.
951
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:11,799
-Bad driver.
-Not necessarily.
952
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:13,472
-Cheated on his missus.
-Most certainly.
953
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:15,437
-And we both know who with.
-Eve Draper.
954
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:18,239
-Blower's leading lady. Distinctive laugh.
-True.
955
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:19,673
-Favoured older men.
-Fingered.
956
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:20,954
-Worked at?
-Council.
957
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:23,634
-More specifically?
-Department of Planning and Development.
958
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:25,278
Where George Merchant secured permission
959
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:27,635
to build his dubious mansion
on Norris Avenue.
960
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:28,789
So...
961
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:32,793
Maybe they were all accidents.
People have accidents every day.
962
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,469
-What are you two up to?
-Nothing.
963
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:37,629
Well, look sharp.
964
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:40,359
-There's been reports of a fire in the station.
-What?
965
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:43,955
Happy birthday to you
966
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:48,079
Happy birthday to you
967
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:51,675
-Danny, why didn't you say something?
-We were working, weren't we?
968
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:56,918
-Hey, where are you going?
-Personal errand.
969
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:04,793
Hello, Miss Tiller.
970
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:07,474
l was wondering,
do you have any Japanese Peace Lilies?
971
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:08,913
Of course.
972
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,995
l was just about to pop off, actually.
973
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:14,995
l can never find my scissors.
974
01:02:15,240 --> 01:02:19,028
-ls this for someone special?
-Yes. Yes, it is.
975
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:25,797
-Are you going somewhere, Miss Tiller?
-Yes. l'm moving away.
976
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:29,917
And why the move,
if you don't mind me asking?
977
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:34,630
-Well, just between you and l...
-Yes?
978
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,638
-You know that fella who blew up?
-George Merchant.
979
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:40,757
Well, George Merchant, God rest him,
wanted to buy this land,
980
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,276
so he sends round his legal fella,
Martin Blower, God rest him,
981
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:46,396
and l thought l might take them up on it.
982
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:50,029
l haven't really got that much family
round here, save for Cousin Sissy.
983
01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:53,430
So l thought l might take them up
on the offer and move to Buford Abbey.
984
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:55,431
Would you like a card with this?
985
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:57,795
No, sorry, you were talking about the offer?
986
01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:00,952
Well, it turns out that Martin Blower,
God rest him,
987
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,110
knew where the new bypass road is going
988
01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:06,158
because he was knocking off Eve Draper
from the council, God rest her,
989
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:09,789
and then that reporter, God rest him,
finds out about the route
990
01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:11,916
and tells me this land's very valuable.
991
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:15,913
Ten times what George Merchant and
Martin Blower, God rest them, offered me.
992
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,878
So, with them having passed on,
l decided to sell it on myself
993
01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:21,633
to some folks from the city
that Martin, George and Eve,
994
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:23,676
God rest the lot of them,
had been talking to.
995
01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:26,479
Apparently, they want to build
a big shopping centre or something.
996
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:29,233
Of course, Cousin Sissy won't be
too happy about that,
997
01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:31,311
but as far as l'm concerned,
Cousin Sissy can go and fuck...
998
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:34,278
Would you just excuse me,
for just one second?
999
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:49,669
Stop!
1000
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:52,078
ln the name of the law!
1001
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:49,791
Hang about, hang about.
1002
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:52,795
You're saying this wasn't an accident?
1003
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:56,036
Leslie Tiller was fucking murdered!
1004
01:04:56,120 --> 01:04:57,519
-What, just like Tim Messenger?
-Yes!
1005
01:04:57,600 --> 01:04:58,715
-And George Merchant?
-Yes!
1006
01:04:58,800 --> 01:04:59,994
-And Eve Draper?
-Yes!
1007
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:01,638
-And Martin Blower?
-No, actually.
1008
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:03,517
-Really?
-'Course he fucking was!
1009
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:05,431
Thank you, Danny.
1010
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:08,717
Oh, murder, murder, murder.
Change the fucking record.
1011
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:10,395
Thank you, Andy.
1012
01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:14,553
Come on, Sergeant, you've gotta accept
it was just another nasty accident.
1013
01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:15,675
What are you suggesting?
1014
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,149
That Leslie Tiller tripped
and fell on her own shears?
1015
01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:20,595
Ben Fletcher fell
on his pitchfork the other week.
1016
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:23,990
Yeah, accidents happen all the time.
What makes you think it was murder?
1017
01:05:24,080 --> 01:05:26,913
-Because l was there!
-There's a point.
1018
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:28,319
Why were you there?
1019
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:32,473
l was buying Constable Butterman
a Japanese Peace Lily for his birthday.
1020
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:35,028
What absolute horseshit.
1021
01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:38,908
l chased a suspect from the scene.
lnnocent people don't run!
1022
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,958
Here, maybe it was our old friend,
the cactus thief.
1023
01:05:42,040 --> 01:05:44,634
Oh, yeah, he was a prickly customer,
weren't he?
1024
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:48,034
Am l going completely mad?
1025
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:51,672
Maybe you are.
1026
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:56,159
Maybe you did it.
1027
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:59,437
Yeah, seeing as how you're such
a big fan of murder.
1028
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:00,873
-What the...
-Sergeant Angel?
1029
01:06:00,960 --> 01:06:03,349
Yes! Sir.
1030
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:08,593
Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas.
1031
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:11,148
What am l going to do with you?
1032
01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:15,597
-Sir, you have to understand...
-No, you have to understand.
1033
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:20,348
The boys here aren't used
to the concepts you're bandying about.
1034
01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:23,349
The ''M'' word, Nicholas.
1035
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:27,479
There hasn't been a recorded murder
in Sandford for 20 years.
1036
01:06:27,560 --> 01:06:29,312
But, sir, l'm certain.
1037
01:06:29,800 --> 01:06:32,917
And what's more, l know who did it.
1038
01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:40,552
Can l see the manager, please?
1039
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:51,551
Mr Skinner to the Manager's office.
Manager's office. Mr Skinner.
1040
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:55,550
Sergeant Angel.
And to what do l owe this pleasure?
1041
01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:59,553
Simon Skinner, l'm arresting you
on suspicion of the murder of Leslie Tiller.
1042
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:02,950
Leslie Tiller's dead? How?
1043
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,310
She tripped and fell on her own shears.
1044
01:07:06,880 --> 01:07:10,077
l'm also arresting you on suspicion of
the murder of Tim Messenger on May 1st,
1045
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:11,718
of George Merchant on April 29th
1046
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:14,268
and of Eve Draper
and Martin Blower on April 28th.
1047
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:18,194
-Why on earth would l do that, Sergeant?
-l'm glad you asked.
1048
01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:21,950
My suspicions were first aroused
when you appeared
1049
01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:24,713
at the scene of the BIower-Draper death,
on the outskirts of Sandford,
1050
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:28,475
despite the fact you Iive and work
in the centre of the viIIage.
1051
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:33,792
l couldn't help but recall your comments
at the theatre on the previous evening.
1052
01:07:34,040 --> 01:07:36,873
When you not onIy indicated
an awareness of the coupIe's affair
1053
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:38,871
but aIso inferred
that Eve's connections at the counciI
1054
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:41,793
might make her privy
to important information.
1055
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:44,075
You even spoke of ''bashing her head in. ''
1056
01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:47,630
Perhaps hoping you might discover
the route of the proposed Sandford Bypass.
1057
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:49,870
You were aIready suspicious
that George Merchant was buying up
1058
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:52,155
a large area of land
on the outskirts of Sandford,
1059
01:07:52,240 --> 01:07:55,073
after an article Tim Messenger
wrote in the Sandford Citizen.
1060
01:07:55,160 --> 01:07:58,675
You see, the land Merchant was buying
had little value in of itself but,
1061
01:07:58,760 --> 01:08:02,514
if it became accessibIe by road,
it wouId be a prime Iocation for say,
1062
01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:04,472
a retail park.
1063
01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:06,471
Consumed with concern for your business
1064
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:08,516
and potential disloyalty
from fickle customers,
1065
01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:11,068
you yourself expressed a wish to behead.
1066
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:14,120
You kiIIed the competition in coId bIood.
1067
01:08:14,200 --> 01:08:16,031
Staging the murders as accidents.
1068
01:08:16,120 --> 01:08:19,078
You used a vehicIe removaI truck
to stage the BIower-Draper death
1069
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:20,991
and incinerated an oId man
in his own house.
1070
01:08:21,080 --> 01:08:24,152
Covering your tracks with the judiciaI
appIication of bacon and beans.
1071
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:27,073
However, there was a loose end.
1072
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:29,479
Tim Messenger.
1073
01:08:29,560 --> 01:08:31,630
SpIattered before he couId share with me
1074
01:08:31,720 --> 01:08:34,553
what he toId LesIie TiIIer
that very afternoon.
1075
01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:37,359
The true vaIue of her Iand.
1076
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:40,518
Upon discovering she was about
to sell up to the developers,
1077
01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:43,319
you brutally murdered her
with her own shears.
1078
01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:47,951
And made good your escape utilising
your impressive skills as a fun runner.
1079
01:08:54,160 --> 01:08:57,789
Very entertaining. But l rather think
you've been watching too many films.
1080
01:08:59,320 --> 01:09:00,355
He hasn't.
1081
01:09:00,440 --> 01:09:04,035
Why would l kill Leslie?
You clearly aren't aware that we're related.
1082
01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:06,588
Oh, but l am, ''Cousin Sissy.''
1083
01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:12,192
l'm afraid my nickname of Sissy
is only a revelation to yourself.
1084
01:09:12,480 --> 01:09:15,711
My teenage years studying ballet
are well known.
1085
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:18,837
-Yeah, Sissy Skinner.
-What a Gaylord.
1086
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:20,399
Thank you, Andrews.
1087
01:09:20,480 --> 01:09:23,711
Now, despite my comments
about ''beheading'' customers,
1088
01:09:23,800 --> 01:09:27,190
l personally relish the competition
of another store.
1089
01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:30,750
Anything to energise my workforce.
1090
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:36,637
And anyway, what makes you think
l could dislodge part of the church roof?
1091
01:09:36,720 --> 01:09:39,075
Or for that matter, stage a car crash?
1092
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:42,391
lt's a well known fact that
the church roof is in dire need of repair.
1093
01:09:42,480 --> 01:09:44,550
And isn't it true
that two of your own employees
1094
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:46,995
operate the vehicle removal service
for the council?
1095
01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:49,355
Sergeant, this is the 21st Century.
1096
01:09:49,440 --> 01:09:52,238
Many people hold down several jobs.
1097
01:09:52,320 --> 01:09:55,869
l myself host a life drawing class
at the Village Hall.
1098
01:09:55,960 --> 01:09:58,872
Tina here is a table dancer at Flappers.
1099
01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:02,909
Nevertheless, you could have utilised
the vehicle removal truck for your own ends.
1100
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:04,956
These accusations
are quite meaningless, Sergeant,
1101
01:10:05,040 --> 01:10:07,554
unless you can back them up
with hard evidence.
1102
01:10:07,640 --> 01:10:10,108
Well, you've got me there.
1103
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:12,111
l'd need something conclusive.
1104
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:14,270
Something that placed you
at the scene of the crime.
1105
01:10:14,360 --> 01:10:18,239
Perhaps a wound you sustained on
a piece of broken glass this very evening.
1106
01:10:19,800 --> 01:10:21,392
This very evening.
1107
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:25,751
Sergeant, this is beginning
to get embarrassing.
1108
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,877
How could l possibly be
in several places at once?
1109
01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:35,551
l'm sure the store's security footage
will absolve me.
1110
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:38,800
Do feel free to spool through.
1111
01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:56,595
l can handle this, Danny.
1112
01:10:56,680 --> 01:10:59,831
You might as well go back and
just enjoy the rest of your birthday.
1113
01:10:59,920 --> 01:11:02,388
-Did you really get me that plant?
-Yes, l did.
1114
01:11:02,480 --> 01:11:05,790
But it's been impounded as evidence.
1115
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:10,317
Well, l mean, maybe Dad will
still let me water it, eh?
1116
01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:11,515
Yeah.
1117
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:16,153
Sergeant, l wanted you to know that
1118
01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:19,437
if l do indeed now
own the land belonging to...
1119
01:11:21,120 --> 01:11:26,717
belonging to Leslie, that l intend to turn
it into a memorial garden, in her honour.
1120
01:11:26,800 --> 01:11:31,191
Mr Skinner, what you do with your land
is of no concern of mine,
1121
01:11:33,880 --> 01:11:35,029
so jog on.
1122
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:40,317
Michael, will you escort the Sergeant
off the premises when he's quite finished?
1123
01:11:40,400 --> 01:11:41,879
Yarp.
1124
01:11:44,880 --> 01:11:49,032
l just can't believe Leslie's dead.
How did it happen?
1125
01:11:49,120 --> 01:11:51,350
She tripped and fell on her own shears.
1126
01:11:59,160 --> 01:12:01,276
Hey, that weren't me.
1127
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:10,115
Hey, look.
1128
01:12:10,200 --> 01:12:12,794
Look, Mr Treacher's
got his big coat on again.
1129
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:20,552
-You want anything from the shop?
-Cornetto.
1130
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:27,039
-No luck catching them killers, then?
-lt's just the one killer, actually.
1131
01:12:30,280 --> 01:12:33,431
-No Iuck catching them kiIIers, then?
-It's just the one kiIIer, actuaIIy.
1132
01:12:33,520 --> 01:12:36,717
-No Iuck catching them kiIIers, then?
-It's just the one kiIIer, actuaIIy.
1133
01:12:36,800 --> 01:12:40,634
-No Iuck catching them kiIIers, then?
-It's just the one kiIIer, actuaIIy.
1134
01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:43,837
-What's the matter? You got brain-freeze?
-No, l got brainwave.
1135
01:12:43,920 --> 01:12:46,115
Get us back to the station, now!
1136
01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:54,438
-lt's more than one person.
-Come again?
1137
01:12:54,520 --> 01:12:57,273
-lt's more than one killer.
-lt was Skinner a minute ago.
1138
01:12:57,360 --> 01:12:58,395
Yeah, well, maybe it still is.
1139
01:12:58,480 --> 01:13:00,755
You know, maybe he's... Maybe he's
not alone. Maybe there are others.
1140
01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:05,789
Nicholas, you're an exceptional officer.
But l've seen this before.
1141
01:13:06,240 --> 01:13:08,708
-Sir?
-Sergeant Popwell.
1142
01:13:08,800 --> 01:13:11,519
lt was exactly the same thing.
1143
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:15,832
You've come from a city
where there's danger round every corner,
1144
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:18,714
and it's driven you round the bend.
1145
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:20,428
Yes, sir.
1146
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:23,990
Do yourself a favour. Sleep on it.
1147
01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:29,598
And if you still feel the same in the morning,
l give you my word, l'll get right on to it.
1148
01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:36,558
Hey. Hey, what's happening?
What's going on?
1149
01:13:37,160 --> 01:13:40,948
Nothing, nothing.
l'm just gonna go back to the hotel.
1150
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:46,319
-l mean, do you want a lift?
-No, no, l could do with a walk.
1151
01:14:47,160 --> 01:14:49,958
Hey, big one, playtime's over.
1152
01:14:54,160 --> 01:14:54,990
Michael?
1153
01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:58,880
MichaeI? Are you there?
1154
01:14:59,520 --> 01:15:03,399
MichaeI? Is everything okay?
1155
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:07,075
Yarp.
1156
01:15:07,160 --> 01:15:09,799
Sergeant AngeI's been
taken care of?
1157
01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:10,949
Yarp.
1158
01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:13,395
He's not gonna get
back up again?
1159
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:17,148
Narp!
1160
01:15:18,360 --> 01:15:20,828
Good. Proceed to the castIe.
1161
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:27,512
Frank, this shit just got real.
1162
01:15:27,600 --> 01:15:31,229
Skinner just sent someone to kill me,
and, now, now he's gone somewhere.
1163
01:15:31,320 --> 01:15:33,788
Up to the... To the castle, l think.
l'm gonna... l'm gonna go after him.
1164
01:15:33,880 --> 01:15:36,110
Okay? lt's Nicholas, by the way.
1165
01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:42,432
Oh, my God.
What happened to your Peace Lily?
1166
01:15:42,680 --> 01:15:46,434
Danny. Danny, just stay here, okay?
And watch him, and call your dad.
1167
01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:48,511
-Tell him l was right.
-What are you gonna do?
1168
01:15:48,600 --> 01:15:53,037
-l'm gonna bust this thing wide open.
-Nicholas, wait.
1169
01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:56,715
-You might need this.
-Thanks, partner.
1170
01:16:28,560 --> 01:16:31,836
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?
1171
01:16:31,920 --> 01:16:34,957
How couId I possibIy be
in severaI pIaces at once?
1172
01:16:35,040 --> 01:16:38,191
How couId I possibIy be
in severaI pIaces at once?
1173
01:16:39,280 --> 01:16:43,239
I just can't believe Leslie's dead.
How did it happen?
1174
01:16:43,320 --> 01:16:46,278
You'll find that we run
a very tight ship here.
1175
01:16:46,360 --> 01:16:48,112
Who could do something like this?
1176
01:16:48,200 --> 01:16:51,431
Seems like Mr Merchand tried
to have a little fry up and left the gas on.
1177
01:16:51,520 --> 01:16:52,794
Nasty way to go.
1178
01:16:52,880 --> 01:16:53,949
What happened, Danny?
1179
01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:55,792
No luck catching the killers, then?
1180
01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:57,677
No Iuck catching them kiIIers, then?
1181
01:16:57,760 --> 01:16:59,876
No Iuck catching them...
1182
01:17:03,200 --> 01:17:05,509
Now, quick announcement before we begin.
1183
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:09,798
Janet Barker has decided
to call her boys Roger and Martin.
1184
01:17:09,880 --> 01:17:14,954
And the christening will be
a week on Saturday and we're all invited.
1185
01:17:15,200 --> 01:17:17,430
-Tom.
-Thanks, Joyce.
1186
01:17:17,640 --> 01:17:20,632
Now, you'll all be delighted to hear
1187
01:17:20,720 --> 01:17:25,191
that the tenacious Sergeant Angel
has been taken care of.
1188
01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:30,638
Joyce will discover the Sergeant lying
on the wet floor of his bathroom,
1189
01:17:30,720 --> 01:17:34,793
having slipped
and tragically broken his neck.
1190
01:17:34,880 --> 01:17:36,871
So, with the dispatch of the Sergeant,
1191
01:17:36,960 --> 01:17:40,873
we will now be able to concentrate
on the eradication of our hoodie infestation.
1192
01:17:40,960 --> 01:17:41,995
Quite right.
1193
01:17:42,080 --> 01:17:45,390
After which, nothing will stand in our way.
1194
01:17:45,480 --> 01:17:48,233
Oh, l beg to differ, Mr Weaver.
1195
01:17:48,320 --> 01:17:52,393
Well, well, well, l see we have visitors.
1196
01:17:52,720 --> 01:17:55,757
Sergeant Nicholas Angel.
Sandford Police Service.
1197
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:58,479
My, he is tenacious, isn't he?
1198
01:17:58,560 --> 01:18:01,313
l'm arresting you under suspicion
of conspiracy to commit murder.
1199
01:18:01,400 --> 01:18:04,073
Oh, come, come, Sergeant.
1200
01:18:04,160 --> 01:18:05,673
You should be ashamed.
1201
01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:09,196
-Calling yourself a community that cares.
-Oh, but we do care, Nicholas.
1202
01:18:09,280 --> 01:18:10,952
lt's all about the greater good.
1203
01:18:11,040 --> 01:18:12,473
The greater good.
1204
01:18:12,560 --> 01:18:13,993
How can this be for the greater good?
1205
01:18:14,080 --> 01:18:15,559
The greater good.
1206
01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:17,676
You see, as much as l enjoyed
your wild theories, Sergeant,
1207
01:18:17,760 --> 01:18:19,398
the truth is far less complex.
1208
01:18:19,480 --> 01:18:24,474
Blower's fate was simply the result
of his being an appalling actor.
1209
01:18:25,920 --> 01:18:27,114
Quite appalling.
1210
01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:28,872
You murdered him for that?
1211
01:18:29,920 --> 01:18:32,229
-Well, he murdered Bill Shakespeare.
-What?
1212
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:35,676
The Dramatic Society
is an important feather in our cap.
1213
01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:37,399
Couldn't let
Blower jeopardise that.
1214
01:18:37,480 --> 01:18:39,630
Not when we had two semi-professionals
waiting in the wings.
1215
01:18:39,720 --> 01:18:42,188
Let's not forget that Greg
was an extra in Straw Dogs.
1216
01:18:42,280 --> 01:18:44,077
And Sheree played a cadaver
in Prime Suspect.
1217
01:18:44,160 --> 01:18:45,513
Yes, l know!
1218
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:48,114
Martin was less concerned
with the reputation of the village
1219
01:18:48,200 --> 01:18:51,272
than he was with his sordid affair
with Eve Draper.
1220
01:18:51,360 --> 01:18:52,873
And so Eve deserved to die too?
1221
01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:55,269
Well, she did have a very annoying laugh.
1222
01:18:55,360 --> 01:18:56,554
Annoying.
1223
01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:59,359
-And, and George Merchant?
-He had an awful house.
1224
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:00,675
Awful.
1225
01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:02,352
We begged him in vain
to make his residence
1226
01:19:02,440 --> 01:19:04,874
more in keeping
with the village's rustic aesthetic.
1227
01:19:05,920 --> 01:19:08,388
And what about Tim Messenger?
What was his crime?
1228
01:19:08,480 --> 01:19:12,996
Tim Messenger's tenure as editor of
the Sandford Citizen has been unbearabIe.
1229
01:19:13,080 --> 01:19:16,755
Our once great paper had
become riddled with tabloid journalism.
1230
01:19:16,840 --> 01:19:18,717
Not to mention persistent errors.
1231
01:19:18,800 --> 01:19:21,917
-He listed her age as 55.
-When, actually, l'm 53.
1232
01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:23,433
Fifty-three.
1233
01:19:23,520 --> 01:19:25,112
What, what about Leslie Tiller?
One of your own?
1234
01:19:25,200 --> 01:19:27,589
Her horticultural expertise helped
put Sandford on the map.
1235
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:29,636
Oh, she was ever so good.
1236
01:19:29,720 --> 01:19:31,790
Cousin Leslie was a terrible shame.
1237
01:19:32,080 --> 01:19:35,629
But it seemed she was set on moving away.
1238
01:19:35,720 --> 01:19:38,951
We couldn't have her sharing
her green fingers with anybody else.
1239
01:19:39,040 --> 01:19:40,917
Not least those heathens at Buford Abbey.
1240
01:19:41,000 --> 01:19:43,560
lf we can't have her, no one can.
1241
01:19:43,640 --> 01:19:45,153
How can this be for the greater good?
1242
01:19:45,240 --> 01:19:47,196
-The greater good.
-Shut it!
1243
01:19:47,280 --> 01:19:50,317
These people died for no reason.
No reason whatsoever!
1244
01:19:50,400 --> 01:19:52,789
Oh, l wouldn't say that.
1245
01:19:54,480 --> 01:19:55,799
Hello, Nicholas.
1246
01:19:56,840 --> 01:19:58,671
l was like you once.
1247
01:19:59,280 --> 01:20:02,556
l believed in the immutable word of the law.
1248
01:20:02,840 --> 01:20:06,515
That is until the night Mrs Butterman
was taken from me.
1249
01:20:07,400 --> 01:20:09,960
You see,
no one loved Sandford more than her.
1250
01:20:10,040 --> 01:20:13,874
She was head of the Women's lnstitute,
chair of the floral committee.
1251
01:20:13,960 --> 01:20:15,951
When they started
the Village of the Year contest,
1252
01:20:16,040 --> 01:20:19,589
she worked round the clock.
l've never seen such dedication.
1253
01:20:20,880 --> 01:20:26,000
On the eve of the adjudicator's arrival,
some travellers moved into Callahan Park.
1254
01:20:26,760 --> 01:20:30,150
Before you could say, ''Gypsy scum,''
we were knee-deep in dog muck,
1255
01:20:30,240 --> 01:20:32,470
thieving kids and crusty jugglers.
1256
01:20:32,560 --> 01:20:34,232
Crusty jugglers.
1257
01:20:34,320 --> 01:20:37,278
We lost the title and lrene lost her mind.
1258
01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:42,193
She drove her Datsun Cherry
into Sandford Gorge.
1259
01:20:42,280 --> 01:20:47,195
From that moment on,
l swore that l would do her proud.
1260
01:20:47,520 --> 01:20:51,832
And whatever the cost,
we would make Sandford great again.
1261
01:20:52,160 --> 01:20:53,957
Sir, this doesn't make any sense.
1262
01:20:54,040 --> 01:20:57,749
The adjudicators arrive tomorrow.
We had to get everything ready.
1263
01:20:57,840 --> 01:21:00,434
Are you saying this is all about
winning the Best Village Award?
1264
01:21:00,520 --> 01:21:04,069
This is the best village, Nicholas.
You've seen the people.
1265
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:08,438
-They're happy, contented.
-They're living in a dream world.
1266
01:21:08,520 --> 01:21:11,034
Sergeant Popwell
thought much the same as you.
1267
01:21:11,120 --> 01:21:13,076
l'm disappointed
you can't see the bigger picture.
1268
01:21:13,160 --> 01:21:15,469
Well, l'm happy to disappoint you, sir.
1269
01:21:15,560 --> 01:21:17,232
And l'm afraid
you're gonna have to come with me.
1270
01:21:17,320 --> 01:21:19,311
You are all gonna have to come with me.
1271
01:21:19,400 --> 01:21:23,313
No, Nicholas, l'm afraid it is you
1272
01:21:23,400 --> 01:21:26,039
who is going to have to come with us.
1273
01:21:33,720 --> 01:21:35,278
Danny, no.
1274
01:21:39,480 --> 01:21:40,913
Back off! Back off!
1275
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:43,150
Or l swear to God,
you'll be explaining how Danny tripped over
1276
01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:44,639
and accidentally cut off his own head.
1277
01:21:44,720 --> 01:21:46,790
Come on, Nicholas.
You haven't got it in you.
1278
01:21:46,880 --> 01:21:48,154
l mean it!
1279
01:21:51,680 --> 01:21:52,874
Shit!
1280
01:22:07,040 --> 01:22:10,237
Gypsy scum. Travellers.
1281
01:22:10,320 --> 01:22:13,278
Thieving kids. Dog muck.
1282
01:22:15,440 --> 01:22:17,237
Crusty juggIers.
1283
01:22:17,440 --> 01:22:20,876
Crusty juggIers. Crusty juggIers.
1284
01:22:21,720 --> 01:22:22,994
Crusty juggIers.
1285
01:22:23,080 --> 01:22:26,550
There hasn't been a recorded murder
in Sandford for 20 years.
1286
01:22:26,640 --> 01:22:29,473
There's a reason we accommodate
a few of the youngIings at the pub.
1287
01:22:29,560 --> 01:22:31,994
Spot of bother up at EIIroy Farm.
1288
01:22:32,080 --> 01:22:34,753
I'II make sure everyone gets
their just deserts.
1289
01:22:39,680 --> 01:22:42,433
If we don't come down hard
on these clowns...
1290
01:22:42,520 --> 01:22:44,158
We'll get round to it.
1291
01:22:55,920 --> 01:22:57,035
Danny!
1292
01:23:30,560 --> 01:23:31,834
Ta-da.
1293
01:23:32,040 --> 01:23:35,112
-What are you doing?
-Saving your skin.
1294
01:23:37,280 --> 01:23:39,874
-This is murder!
-lt's not, it's ketchup.
1295
01:23:39,960 --> 01:23:42,599
l'm not talking about that,
l'm talking about the others.
1296
01:23:42,680 --> 01:23:45,513
-What others?
-The others the NWA have murdered.
1297
01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:46,874
-That's not true.
-lt is!
1298
01:23:46,960 --> 01:23:49,030
Dad just said it was
his special club, he...
1299
01:23:49,120 --> 01:23:50,917
l thought it was about
rapping people on the knuckles
1300
01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:54,072
-and sending them on their way.
-There are skeletons back there!
1301
01:23:54,160 --> 01:23:55,673
l don't know nothing about no skelingtons.
1302
01:23:55,760 --> 01:23:57,910
-What did you think was happening?
-Not this!
1303
01:23:58,000 --> 01:23:59,069
lt's Frank.
1304
01:23:59,160 --> 01:24:01,276
He's appointed himself judge,
jury and executioner.
1305
01:24:01,360 --> 01:24:04,557
-He's not Judge Judy and executioner.
-He is!
1306
01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:07,677
-You've gotta help me take him down.
-l can't.
1307
01:24:08,680 --> 01:24:11,399
He's my dad. Take my car.
1308
01:24:12,440 --> 01:24:15,273
Go back to London.
There's nothing you can do.
1309
01:24:15,360 --> 01:24:16,793
l can come back.
1310
01:24:16,880 --> 01:24:18,916
l can come back,
and l can bring the blue fury
1311
01:24:19,000 --> 01:24:20,956
of the Metropolitan Police Service with me.
1312
01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:23,918
They'll make it disappear.
Who are they gonna believe?
1313
01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:26,639
My dad, or a loony London police officer.
1314
01:24:26,720 --> 01:24:28,199
But it won't be just me, will it?
1315
01:24:28,280 --> 01:24:31,352
We can do it together.
You and me. Partners.
1316
01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:35,195
Forget it, Nicholas. lt's Sandford.
1317
01:25:25,440 --> 01:25:26,475
ls that everything? Sir?
1318
01:25:32,720 --> 01:25:35,996
Sir? Sir?
1319
01:25:37,440 --> 01:25:41,479
-ls there anything l can do for you?
-No.
1320
01:25:44,560 --> 01:25:46,755
This is something l have to do myself.
1321
01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:15,075
Another beautiful day in God's country.
1322
01:26:22,440 --> 01:26:23,873
Danny?
1323
01:26:32,560 --> 01:26:33,788
lt's...
1324
01:26:38,880 --> 01:26:39,949
Mum!
1325
01:26:50,880 --> 01:26:52,279
What you gonna do?
1326
01:26:52,360 --> 01:26:55,318
Just walk in and arrest the whole village?
1327
01:26:57,000 --> 01:26:58,149
Not exactly.
1328
01:27:29,800 --> 01:27:32,917
Oh, Sergeant Angel?
Someone from London called for you.
1329
01:27:40,680 --> 01:27:42,875
l'll tell them you'll ring them back.
1330
01:27:45,040 --> 01:27:47,110
-Well, that's funny.
-What's that?
1331
01:27:47,560 --> 01:27:50,120
l didn't know we had a mounted division.
1332
01:27:50,200 --> 01:27:51,872
Nobody tells me nothing.
1333
01:28:07,600 --> 01:28:09,318
Wanna do something useful?
1334
01:28:18,400 --> 01:28:23,110
Annette, that Sergeant Angel's
back. Check out his horse.
1335
01:28:24,040 --> 01:28:25,917
Roger that!
1336
01:28:27,560 --> 01:28:30,438
-lt's...
-Angel.
1337
01:29:38,800 --> 01:29:39,915
Morning.
1338
01:31:00,040 --> 01:31:01,917
That's what l'm talking about.
1339
01:31:16,240 --> 01:31:18,310
Still feel like you're missing out?
1340
01:31:43,920 --> 01:31:45,239
Fascist!
1341
01:32:01,200 --> 01:32:02,315
Hag!
1342
01:32:20,040 --> 01:32:23,589
Stop! Stop this, please!
1343
01:32:24,240 --> 01:32:27,471
Let us stop this mindless violence.
1344
01:32:28,720 --> 01:32:30,631
Nicholas, my son.
1345
01:32:31,720 --> 01:32:35,508
You may not be a man of God,
but surely you're a man of peace.
1346
01:32:35,600 --> 01:32:41,118
l may not be a man of God, Reverend,
but l know right, and l know wrong,
1347
01:32:41,800 --> 01:32:44,268
and l have the good grace
to know which is which.
1348
01:32:44,360 --> 01:32:47,272
Oh, fuck off, Grasshopper.
1349
01:32:48,800 --> 01:32:50,199
No!
1350
01:32:51,360 --> 01:32:53,032
Jesus Christ!
1351
01:32:53,520 --> 01:32:55,431
Nicholas! Nicholas!
1352
01:33:01,480 --> 01:33:03,198
l thought you was a goner.
1353
01:33:03,280 --> 01:33:04,918
Drop your weapons!
1354
01:33:05,520 --> 01:33:07,829
-Dr. Hatcher, no!
-Shut up, Danny.
1355
01:33:08,760 --> 01:33:12,150
l brought you into this world,
l think it's rather fitting
1356
01:33:12,240 --> 01:33:14,959
l should be the one to take you out of it.
1357
01:33:15,280 --> 01:33:18,955
You and your interfering little friend.
1358
01:33:19,400 --> 01:33:20,515
Now...
1359
01:33:24,720 --> 01:33:25,914
drop them.
1360
01:33:41,760 --> 01:33:45,719
-You're a doctor, deal with it.
-Yeah, motherfucker.
1361
01:33:46,320 --> 01:33:48,550
-Danny, let's roll.
-What you thinking?
1362
01:33:50,480 --> 01:33:51,515
Pub?
1363
01:34:49,200 --> 01:34:51,077
Roy!
1364
01:34:51,760 --> 01:34:54,672
Somebody call the police!
1365
01:34:54,760 --> 01:34:55,875
Freeze!
1366
01:34:58,640 --> 01:35:01,359
Officers, arrest that man.
1367
01:35:01,800 --> 01:35:04,872
-Danny, step away from the Sergeant.
-No, Dad.
1368
01:35:05,240 --> 01:35:07,549
Danny, you'll do as you're told.
1369
01:35:07,640 --> 01:35:10,029
l'm not taking orders from you anymore.
1370
01:35:10,120 --> 01:35:13,476
-Officers, arrest these men!
-Wait, wait!
1371
01:35:13,560 --> 01:35:14,629
You can arrest us if you like.
1372
01:35:14,720 --> 01:35:17,234
You can throw us in prison and go back
to being blind, submissive slaves.
1373
01:35:17,320 --> 01:35:19,072
Or you can be real police officers,
1374
01:35:19,160 --> 01:35:21,276
and help us bring an end
to this absurd story.
1375
01:35:21,360 --> 01:35:23,430
What the fuck is he on about?
1376
01:35:23,520 --> 01:35:24,669
Fuck are you on about?
1377
01:35:24,760 --> 01:35:27,274
Have you ever wondered
why the crime rate in Sandford is so low?
1378
01:35:27,360 --> 01:35:30,989
-And yet the accident rate, it's so high?
-No. Yeah. What?
1379
01:35:31,080 --> 01:35:32,877
You've been brainwashed, Tony.
1380
01:35:32,960 --> 01:35:36,077
Brainwashed into naivety by an old man
with a murderous obsession.
1381
01:35:36,160 --> 01:35:40,870
-This is ridiculous.
-No, it's not, Dad. lt's very unridiculous.
1382
01:35:40,960 --> 01:35:43,872
And it's only now that l'm starting to realise
how unridiculous it all is.
1383
01:35:43,960 --> 01:35:45,393
Silence, Danny!
1384
01:35:45,800 --> 01:35:48,519
-Think of your mother.
-Mum is dead, Dad.
1385
01:35:49,680 --> 01:35:52,911
For the first time in my life,
you know, l'm glad.
1386
01:35:53,000 --> 01:35:55,275
lf she could see what you've become,
1387
01:35:55,360 --> 01:35:59,319
l think she'd probably kill herself
all over again.
1388
01:35:59,400 --> 01:36:00,913
Sorry, l am completely lost.
1389
01:36:01,000 --> 01:36:02,592
Sandford is a lie, Doris.
1390
01:36:02,680 --> 01:36:05,956
For the last 20 years, the village
has been controlled by Frank and the NWA.
1391
01:36:06,040 --> 01:36:08,395
They've lulled everyone
into thinking this is a perfect village
1392
01:36:08,480 --> 01:36:11,153
and killed anyone
who's threatened to change that.
1393
01:36:18,480 --> 01:36:20,471
l reckon he's got something there.
1394
01:36:21,880 --> 01:36:24,758
He says,
''He reckons you got something there.''
1395
01:36:24,840 --> 01:36:26,034
l know.
1396
01:36:26,120 --> 01:36:29,237
You're not seriously gonna
believe this man, are you?
1397
01:36:29,320 --> 01:36:32,278
Are you? He isn't even from round here.
1398
01:36:36,040 --> 01:36:40,113
Maybe it's time to give it up, sir.
1399
01:36:41,720 --> 01:36:44,188
You incompetent flatfoots!
1400
01:36:52,960 --> 01:36:55,520
Officer Walker, stay here with Saxon
and hold everything down.
1401
01:36:55,600 --> 01:36:56,669
Fair enough.
1402
01:36:56,760 --> 01:36:58,716
Officers, let's go.
1403
01:36:59,640 --> 01:37:01,915
-What about Dad?
-He'll come round again.
1404
01:37:02,200 --> 01:37:03,952
Want anything from the shop?
1405
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:22,149
-What you thinking?
-Well...
1406
01:37:22,240 --> 01:37:24,151
We should strike now,
while we've got the element of surprise.
1407
01:37:24,240 --> 01:37:25,958
Longer we wait,
more time they've got to mobilise.
1408
01:37:26,040 --> 01:37:28,713
l say we go in through the front entrance,
take the place aisle by aisle.
1409
01:37:28,800 --> 01:37:30,597
They won't be expecting that.
1410
01:37:31,160 --> 01:37:32,798
Very good. What he said.
1411
01:37:34,920 --> 01:37:38,037
My, my. Here come the fuzz.
1412
01:37:40,160 --> 01:37:42,833
-Maybe they're not here.
-Wait here.
1413
01:37:42,920 --> 01:37:46,310
-Don't go in on your own.
-Don't worry, he knows what he's doing.
1414
01:37:49,120 --> 01:37:50,678
Okay. They're in.
1415
01:37:50,760 --> 01:37:53,752
You deal with the store.
l'll deal with the trolley boy.
1416
01:38:02,680 --> 01:38:06,992
No, listen. Wait, wait, wait, Michael,
wait, listen to me. Listen, listen.
1417
01:38:07,160 --> 01:38:09,628
ls this what you really, really want?
1418
01:38:09,920 --> 01:38:10,989
Yarp.
1419
01:38:11,320 --> 01:38:12,514
Suit yourself.
1420
01:38:20,840 --> 01:38:22,478
Go, go, go.
1421
01:38:24,760 --> 01:38:26,796
Oh, come on.
1422
01:38:38,600 --> 01:38:40,397
Andy!
1423
01:38:43,000 --> 01:38:45,878
lt's all right, Andy. lt's just Bolognese!
1424
01:39:43,840 --> 01:39:45,717
-How's Lurch?
-He's in the freezer.
1425
01:39:45,800 --> 01:39:48,109
-Did you say, ''Cool off''?
-No, l didn't say anything, actually.
1426
01:39:48,200 --> 01:39:49,838
Shame.
1427
01:39:49,920 --> 01:39:51,273
There was a bit earlier on that you missed
1428
01:39:51,360 --> 01:39:52,873
when l distracted him
with the cuddly monkey.
1429
01:39:52,960 --> 01:39:55,633
And then l said, ''Playtime's over,''
and l hit him with the Peace Lily.
1430
01:39:55,720 --> 01:39:57,711
You're off the fucking chain!
1431
01:39:57,800 --> 01:40:01,156
-What's the situation?
-Two blokes and a fuckload of cutlery.
1432
01:40:01,240 --> 01:40:02,593
What do you reckon?
1433
01:40:05,800 --> 01:40:06,949
ldea.
1434
01:40:29,680 --> 01:40:31,113
Good work, everyone.
1435
01:40:40,440 --> 01:40:43,318
-Nice one, Doris.
-Nothing like a bit of girl on girl.
1436
01:40:45,880 --> 01:40:47,871
Fruit attack!
1437
01:40:48,640 --> 01:40:51,359
Can you handle this, Sergeant Fisher?
We're gonna go after the big boss.
1438
01:40:51,440 --> 01:40:53,271
We're on it, Sergeant.
1439
01:40:53,720 --> 01:40:55,472
-Danny, let's rock.
-Angel!
1440
01:40:55,560 --> 01:40:57,232
Don't go being a twat now.
1441
01:40:57,520 --> 01:40:59,670
l wouldn't give you the satisfaction.
1442
01:41:06,600 --> 01:41:08,795
-We should get down there.
-How?
1443
01:41:09,040 --> 01:41:10,519
Skip.
1444
01:41:16,240 --> 01:41:19,152
-Head them off?
-Fuck, yeah.
1445
01:41:29,960 --> 01:41:33,475
-l'll drive.
-Shotgun! Punch that shit!
1446
01:42:15,520 --> 01:42:16,999
Bang! Bang!
1447
01:42:22,720 --> 01:42:23,994
Swan!
1448
01:42:42,600 --> 01:42:43,669
Swan!
1449
01:43:10,080 --> 01:43:14,073
Stay back! Or the ginger nut gets it!
1450
01:43:15,920 --> 01:43:18,388
You little fucker!
1451
01:43:52,720 --> 01:43:56,838
Get out of my village!
1452
01:44:02,560 --> 01:44:04,949
lt's not your village anymore.
1453
01:44:21,120 --> 01:44:22,872
-You did good, kid.
-Ta.
1454
01:44:22,960 --> 01:44:25,110
-What's your name?
-Aaron A. Aaronson.
1455
01:44:25,480 --> 01:44:26,913
Sorry?
1456
01:44:28,800 --> 01:44:35,148
Angel!
1457
01:44:52,320 --> 01:44:53,594
lt's over, Danny.
1458
01:44:54,960 --> 01:44:56,075
lt's over.
1459
01:44:59,720 --> 01:45:04,794
This really hurts.
1460
01:45:04,880 --> 01:45:10,079
l'm going to need some ice-cream.
1461
01:45:10,160 --> 01:45:13,197
Yeah, well, don't worry.
There's plenty of ice-cream at the station.
1462
01:45:13,280 --> 01:45:14,395
lsn't that right, Danny?
1463
01:45:15,600 --> 01:45:16,669
Stay back!
1464
01:45:16,760 --> 01:45:20,070
-Pack it in, Frank, you silly bastard!
-Now, now.
1465
01:45:20,400 --> 01:45:22,072
We don't want any more bloodshed.
1466
01:45:22,160 --> 01:45:24,799
Frank, this whole thing started
because you lost somebody you loved.
1467
01:45:24,880 --> 01:45:26,711
Don't expect me to believe
you'd let it end the same way.
1468
01:45:26,800 --> 01:45:29,234
l'll tell you how this is gonna end!
1469
01:46:10,080 --> 01:46:12,150
l feel like l should say something smart.
1470
01:46:12,240 --> 01:46:14,913
You don't have to say anything at all.
1471
01:46:26,320 --> 01:46:29,596
Satisfactory conclusion
to the whole operation.
1472
01:46:29,680 --> 01:46:33,514
Now, my perfect Sunday would begin with...
1473
01:46:38,600 --> 01:46:39,999
What do you say, Nicholas?
1474
01:46:40,080 --> 01:46:42,196
We... We...
We have been trying to reach you for days.
1475
01:46:42,280 --> 01:46:45,317
-Yeah, well, l've been kind of busy.
-We need you back.
1476
01:46:45,400 --> 01:46:49,075
The figures have gone a little squiffy
in your absence, it has to be said.
1477
01:46:49,160 --> 01:46:50,229
Come back to London.
1478
01:46:50,320 --> 01:46:53,437
Sandford's hardly a fitting place
for such an exceptional officer.
1479
01:46:53,520 --> 01:46:56,114
Yeah, well, the thing is, sir.
1480
01:46:57,000 --> 01:46:58,718
l kind of like it here.
1481
01:46:58,800 --> 01:47:02,031
Besides, we have to do
a considerable amount of paperwork.
1482
01:47:31,240 --> 01:47:32,229
-Fuck's sake, Nick, this is gonna take ages.
-Yeah, it's gonna take all night.
1483
01:47:32,280 --> 01:47:33,269
Well, good job
we've got the manpower, Andy?
1484
01:47:33,520 --> 01:47:37,593
Well, official vocab guidelines state
that we say ''staffing,'' not ''manpower,''
1485
01:47:37,680 --> 01:47:40,240
'cause ''manpower's'' a bit sexist.
1486
01:47:42,520 --> 01:47:44,272
You don't mind a bit
of manpower do you, Doris?
1487
01:47:44,360 --> 01:47:46,590
Oh, dirty bastard!
1488
01:47:48,280 --> 01:47:49,395
Andy!
1489
01:47:49,480 --> 01:47:51,436
You cheeky fucker!
1490
01:47:59,840 --> 01:48:01,671
You know what you are?
1491
01:48:02,480 --> 01:48:04,072
A bloody busybody!
1492
01:48:09,640 --> 01:48:11,835
No!
1493
01:48:25,720 --> 01:48:26,869
Oh, God, no!
1494
01:48:49,200 --> 01:48:50,394
Danny!
1495
01:48:52,800 --> 01:48:53,869
Danny!
1496
01:48:54,880 --> 01:48:55,995
Oh, God.
1497
01:48:56,080 --> 01:48:57,638
Hold on, Danny, just hold on.
1498
01:48:57,720 --> 01:49:00,359
Hold on, it's gonna be fine.
lt's gonna be fine.
1499
01:49:00,920 --> 01:49:03,593
Just hang on, hang on!
1500
01:49:04,040 --> 01:49:05,792
Everything's gonna be fine.
1501
01:49:07,000 --> 01:49:08,718
Everything's gonna be fine.
1502
01:49:09,160 --> 01:49:10,912
Everything's gonna be fine.
1503
01:49:11,640 --> 01:49:13,596
Everything's gonna be just fine.
1504
01:49:50,680 --> 01:49:51,715
Hope these are okay.
1505
01:49:54,680 --> 01:49:57,956
Yeah. They're lovely.
1506
01:50:07,120 --> 01:50:10,157
-Any officers near the church?
-Go ahead, Doris.
1507
01:50:10,240 --> 01:50:11,878
Chief, we've had a report
of some hippy types
1508
01:50:11,960 --> 01:50:14,315
messing with the recycIing bins
at the supermarket.
1509
01:50:14,400 --> 01:50:16,038
-Leave it with us.
-Righto.
1510
01:50:16,120 --> 01:50:20,079
Sergeant Butterman,
little hand says it's time to rock and roll.
1511
01:50:20,280 --> 01:50:21,793
Bring the noise.