1
00:00:29,813 --> 00:00:31,007
RODRICK: {WHISPERING} Greg?
2
00:00:31,414 --> 00:00:33,746
GREG: {GROGGILY} Mmm.
3
00:00:34,317 --> 00:00:37,252
- Greg?
- What?
4
00:00:37,754 --> 00:00:40,450
- Greg!
- Huh? What?
5
00:00:40,523 --> 00:00:41,581
What are you doing? Get up!
6
00:00:41,658 --> 00:00:42,989
Mom and Dad have been
calling you for an hour.
7
00:00:43,059 --> 00:00:44,924
You're about to be late for
your first day of middle school.
8
00:00:44,994 --> 00:00:46,325
What?
9
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:48,959
Oh, geez! How did that happen?
10
00:00:49,032 --> 00:00:50,590
Go, go, go! Mom's about to flip out!
11
00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:53,158
She sent me to get you
while she waits in the car!
12
00:01:31,641 --> 00:01:32,665
{EXCLAIMS}
13
00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:36,509
What are you doing? What's going on?
14
00:01:36,579 --> 00:01:38,740
Getting ready for
15
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,813
{HOOTING}
16
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,814
school.
17
00:01:45,889 --> 00:01:48,824
Are you insane? School
doesn't start till next week.
18
00:01:48,892 --> 00:01:52,885
And, FYI, school doesn't
start at 4:00 in the morning!
19
00:01:52,962 --> 00:01:56,398
You woke up Manny. And
if he doesn't go back down
20
00:01:56,466 --> 00:01:57,524
Good morning!
21
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,398
There is no way he is going back down.
22
00:02:00,470 --> 00:02:02,028
I just wanted to sleep till 6:00.
23
00:02:02,105 --> 00:02:04,300
- Bubby!
- FRANK: Go to bed. I got him.
24
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,899
Greg, what are you doing
up making all this noise?
25
00:02:06,976 --> 00:02:09,444
It was Rodrick! He woke me up!
26
00:02:09,512 --> 00:02:11,537
He changed my clock!
27
00:02:12,081 --> 00:02:13,173
{SNORING}
28
00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:16,742
- But I swear, he was just
- Go to bed.
29
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:22,218
What is that smell? I
can't even identify it.
30
00:02:37,941 --> 00:02:39,306
Bubby!
31
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,304
{GRUNTS}
32
00:02:45,381 --> 00:02:46,370
{GIGGLING}
33
00:02:49,652 --> 00:02:51,017
KIDS: Happy Birthday!
34
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,486
Here, Bubby.
35
00:02:52,655 --> 00:02:54,748
GREG: Wow! Look at the
size of that flamethrower!
36
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:07,563
Okay, first of all, let
me get something straight.
37
00:03:07,637 --> 00:03:10,128
This is a journal, not a diary.
38
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,500
Yeah, I know what it says on the cover.
39
00:03:13,576 --> 00:03:15,942
But when my mom went
out to buy this thing,
40
00:03:16,012 --> 00:03:19,504
I specifically told her not to
buy one that said "diary" on it.
41
00:03:19,582 --> 00:03:23,712
This just proves Mom doesn't
understand anything about kids my age.
42
00:03:24,487 --> 00:03:26,216
- GREG: Huh?
- Sissy!
43
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:30,448
The only reason I agreed to
write in this thing is because
44
00:03:30,526 --> 00:03:32,926
when I'm rich and famous
I'll have better things to do
45
00:03:32,996 --> 00:03:35,521
than answer people's stupid
questions all day long.
46
00:03:35,598 --> 00:03:37,463
Gregory, tell us about your childhood!
47
00:03:37,533 --> 00:03:39,831
Were you always so smart and handsome?
48
00:03:39,903 --> 00:03:42,201
Here's my journal. Now, shoo, shoo.
49
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:47,271
SUSAN: That's our boy up there.
50
00:03:47,343 --> 00:03:49,470
Why did I ever say no to him?
51
00:03:49,545 --> 00:03:50,569
Mom got me this thing
52
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,377
so I could write down my feelings
about starting middle school.
53
00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:55,479
But I'm gonna be fine.
54
00:03:55,551 --> 00:03:58,418
It's my best friend, Rowley
Jefferson, I'm worried about.
55
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,683
He's definitely not middle school ready.
56
00:04:00,757 --> 00:04:02,725
Geronimo!
57
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,654
{WHOOPS}
58
00:04:06,562 --> 00:04:09,759
He's not quite clear on
the concept of growing up.
59
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:13,734
I want a puppy, a
kitty, a gumball machine
60
00:04:13,803 --> 00:04:16,738
But anyway, this is
about me, not Rowley.
61
00:04:16,806 --> 00:04:19,570
I always figured they'd
make a movie about my life.
62
00:04:19,642 --> 00:04:22,736
But I didn't think they'd
start the story here.
63
00:04:22,812 --> 00:04:25,975
Because, seriously, who wants
to see a movie about a kid
64
00:04:26,049 --> 00:04:28,916
who's stuck in middle school
with a bunch of morons?
65
00:04:37,894 --> 00:04:39,088
{ALARM BUZZING}
66
00:04:42,065 --> 00:04:43,054
{GROANS}
67
00:04:51,975 --> 00:04:53,101
{RODRICK EXCLAIMING}
68
00:04:53,176 --> 00:04:56,145
Three days, no shower. Smell the love!
69
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:58,146
Let me go, Rodrick!
70
00:04:58,715 --> 00:04:59,807
{GROANS}
71
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,749
Come on. We're just
having some fun, right?
72
00:05:02,819 --> 00:05:04,650
No, okay. So, look.
73
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:08,282
Mom asked me to give you some
advice about middle school.
74
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:11,219
It's real simple.
75
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:14,559
Don't talk to anyone. Don't look
at anyone. Don't go anywhere.
76
00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:18,930
Don't sit down. Don't raise your
hand. Don't go to the bathroom.
77
00:05:19,002 --> 00:05:23,098
Don't get noticed. Don't
choose the wrong locker. Don't
78
00:05:24,507 --> 00:05:25,735
Who am I kidding?
79
00:05:25,808 --> 00:05:28,709
You'll be dead or homeschooled
by the end of the year, anyway.
80
00:05:28,778 --> 00:05:31,110
And don't be seen with Rowley.
81
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,114
{EXCLAIMING}
82
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:44,821
Manny, stop it! Mom!
83
00:05:44,894 --> 00:05:45,986
RODRICK: Thanks for the eggs, Mom.
84
00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:47,495
- Frank?
- Greg?
85
00:05:47,563 --> 00:05:49,190
I think it's gross and undignified
86
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:52,098
that I have to eat breakfast
next to him on the potty.
87
00:05:52,168 --> 00:05:54,534
Okay, well, it's your fault
he's still potty training.
88
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:56,435
Don't look down, Manny.
89
00:05:56,506 --> 00:06:00,033
The potty monster doesn't
like it when you look at him.
90
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:01,098
{SCREAMS}
91
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,169
I was just joking with him.
92
00:06:03,246 --> 00:06:06,545
Okay. Kiss him you're sorry
and then let's get a move on.
93
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,278
Can't be late for your
first day of school.
94
00:06:15,391 --> 00:06:16,688
{SCHOOL BELL RINGING}
95
00:06:25,034 --> 00:06:28,128
GREG: Let me just say for the record
that I think middle school may be
96
00:06:28,204 --> 00:06:30,263
the dumbest idea ever invented.
97
00:06:30,339 --> 00:06:32,739
You got kids like me who haven't
hit their growth spurt yet
98
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,869
mixed in with gorillas who
have to shave twice a day.
99
00:06:36,779 --> 00:06:40,943
There's juvenile
delinquents and weirdos.
100
00:06:41,284 --> 00:06:43,445
I'm smaller than about 95%
of the kids at my school
101
00:06:43,519 --> 00:06:44,816
CHIRAG: Give it back! Stop!
102
00:06:44,887 --> 00:06:47,981
so thank God for Chirag Gupta.
103
00:06:48,057 --> 00:06:50,150
- It's mine! Stop!
- Can I have the backpack?
104
00:06:50,226 --> 00:06:51,523
- You got to jump higher.
- CHIRAG: It's not yours!
105
00:06:51,594 --> 00:06:53,926
He's an excellent buffer
between me and these morons.
106
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:55,623
Hey, Greg.
107
00:06:55,698 --> 00:06:58,496
Hey, fella!
108
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:02,259
Seriously, I don't know what happened
to these kids over the summer.
109
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:05,970
Was there a nuclear accident?
110
00:07:07,143 --> 00:07:09,634
Science experiment gone bad?
111
00:07:09,712 --> 00:07:14,149
Thank God there are a few normal people
or this place would be a total freak show.
112
00:07:18,121 --> 00:07:19,952
If you're as discriminating as I am,
113
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:24,152
it can be tough to figure out where to
sit on your first day of middle school.
114
00:07:24,227 --> 00:07:25,489
One bad move
115
00:07:25,561 --> 00:07:29,053
and you're stuck next to some
idiot for the rest of the year.
116
00:07:29,132 --> 00:07:30,121
{SNIFFLING}
117
00:07:36,305 --> 00:07:37,465
ROWLEY: Greg!
118
00:07:38,407 --> 00:07:41,570
Remember how I said Rowley
wasn't middle school ready?
119
00:07:43,179 --> 00:07:44,908
Well, there you go.
120
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:46,943
{SPEAKING SPANISH}
121
00:07:50,153 --> 00:07:51,620
What are you wearing?
122
00:07:51,687 --> 00:07:55,919
My family just got back from
Guatemala! It's my serape!
123
00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,425
Nice, huh?
124
00:07:59,495 --> 00:08:03,898
All right, class, I'm Mrs.
Flint. Everybody take your seats!
125
00:08:06,269 --> 00:08:07,293
{GROANS}
126
00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:10,305
Welcome to your first
day of middle school.
127
00:08:10,373 --> 00:08:13,035
Remember your seats. You'll
be sitting here every day.
128
00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:16,870
Rowley, if you had to
say where you were ranked
129
00:08:16,946 --> 00:08:19,710
in terms of popularity from one to 200,
130
00:08:19,782 --> 00:08:21,340
where would you put yourself?
131
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,344
Is 200 good or bad?
132
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,254
I'd say you're somewhere
around the 154 mark.
133
00:08:29,358 --> 00:08:32,054
I'd put myself around number 19 or 20.
134
00:08:33,663 --> 00:08:36,131
I might even have a shot at the
top spot by the end of the year,
135
00:08:36,199 --> 00:08:38,224
if things go the way I think they will.
136
00:08:38,301 --> 00:08:40,326
Well, who's at the bottom?
137
00:08:40,870 --> 00:08:43,862
Hey, guys, wanna see my secret freckle?
138
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,998
{BOTH GROAN}
139
00:08:45,074 --> 00:08:48,840
GREG: Fregley. Sent home for
hygiene issues at least once a month.
140
00:08:53,683 --> 00:08:56,675
Check it out. It's got a hair in it!
141
00:08:56,752 --> 00:08:59,414
What color is that?
142
00:09:02,592 --> 00:09:04,355
You wanna help me name it?
143
00:09:04,427 --> 00:09:07,055
All right, ladies! Gather around!
144
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:09,859
Come on, put the
knitting down! Let's go!
145
00:09:12,835 --> 00:09:14,700
All right, everybody.
146
00:09:14,770 --> 00:09:17,705
I'm Coach Malone and
I am your gym teacher.
147
00:09:17,773 --> 00:09:19,502
P.E. Is as much a part of my life
148
00:09:19,575 --> 00:09:22,703
as waking up in the morning
and going to the bathroom.
149
00:09:22,778 --> 00:09:26,339
I live and breathe Physical Education.
150
00:09:27,283 --> 00:09:28,545
Now, who's with me?
151
00:09:28,618 --> 00:09:29,915
Are you ready to have
some fun out there?
152
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,044
Yeah!
153
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,883
MALONE: All right, outstanding!
154
00:09:32,955 --> 00:09:34,354
So we're gonna divide
you up into two teams.
155
00:09:34,423 --> 00:09:37,449
So you two, over here.
You, you, you, this way.
156
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,824
Yeah, you three, this side. Good.
157
00:09:39,962 --> 00:09:42,829
You guys are going to be Shirts!
158
00:09:43,532 --> 00:09:46,729
And you will be Skins.
159
00:09:50,072 --> 00:09:52,768
Why are we Skins? I hate this.
160
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,675
He's just trying to make
kids like us feel bad.
161
00:09:55,745 --> 00:09:57,303
What do you mean, kids like us?
162
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,211
I just don't want to get
a sunburn, right, Rowley?
163
00:09:59,282 --> 00:10:02,410
{IN ROBOTIC VOICE} My
name is Bell E. Button.
164
00:10:02,485 --> 00:10:03,782
What's yours?
165
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:09,490
Okay, let's start off with a little
game I like to call Gladiator.
166
00:10:10,059 --> 00:10:11,117
{BOYS EXCLAIMING}
167
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,660
- BOY 1: I got this one!
- BOY 2: No!
168
00:10:13,429 --> 00:10:14,919
BOY 3: Take that!
169
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,157
{GRUNTS}
170
00:10:16,332 --> 00:10:18,425
{¶¶ NEVER MISS A BEA TPLAYING ¶¶}
171
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,896
Cover me!
172
00:10:29,645 --> 00:10:31,306
Oh, God.
173
00:10:37,253 --> 00:10:38,652
Not good!
174
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,588
We're never going to be
able to outrun these guys!
175
00:10:41,657 --> 00:10:42,783
We don't have to outrun them!
176
00:10:42,858 --> 00:10:44,689
We just have to outrun Chirag!
177
00:10:45,094 --> 00:10:47,153
¶¶ Take a look, take a look, take a look
178
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,856
¶¶ At the kids on the street
179
00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:50,421
¶¶ No, they never miss a beat
180
00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:51,488
¶¶ Never miss a beat
181
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:52,556
¶¶ Never miss a beat
182
00:10:52,635 --> 00:10:53,624
¶¶ Never miss a beat
183
00:10:53,703 --> 00:10:54,897
¶¶ Never miss a beat
184
00:10:58,607 --> 00:11:00,700
- Think they saw us?
- No way.
185
00:11:00,776 --> 00:11:03,040
They were focused on getting
that kid with the limp.
186
00:11:03,112 --> 00:11:07,208
We'll hide here for the rest of the
class because I'm not playing that game.
187
00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:08,511
It's not fair.
188
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:12,020
He's got all the Neanderthals
on the same team. It's barbaric!
189
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,215
ANGIE: It's completely barbaric.
190
00:11:16,325 --> 00:11:18,850
This place is an intellectual wasteland.
191
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,589
But, you know, it's nice to meet someone
192
00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:23,598
more interested in his
mind than in his body.
193
00:11:23,966 --> 00:11:27,402
You girls get to jump rope.
What are you doing hiding?
194
00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:29,267
Avoiding the pain.
195
00:11:30,339 --> 00:11:32,637
It all starts in
middle school, you know?
196
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:35,233
You're not a kid anymore.
The coddling has stopped.
197
00:11:35,311 --> 00:11:39,543
Kids are now separated by
intelligence. The weak are picked on.
198
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:44,643
And girls you've known since kindergarten
won't even talk to you anymore.
199
00:11:45,354 --> 00:11:48,289
Okay, well, sounds like
you got it all figured out,
200
00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:50,518
so go back to your book.
201
00:11:50,593 --> 00:11:52,823
This place is a glorified holding pen.
202
00:11:52,895 --> 00:11:56,592
MALONE: All the way! All the
way! You're like a machine!
203
00:11:56,665 --> 00:11:57,825
ANGIE: It's where adults put you
204
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:01,996
as you make that awkward transition
between child and teenager
205
00:12:02,071 --> 00:12:04,562
so they don't even have to look at you.
206
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,608
Hi. I'm Angie.
207
00:12:08,244 --> 00:12:10,872
Great story. We're gonna go now.
208
00:12:10,946 --> 00:12:13,506
Why? This is a good spot.
209
00:12:13,582 --> 00:12:15,777
It's a perfect spot.
210
00:12:15,851 --> 00:12:18,115
I survived all of the sixth grade here.
211
00:12:18,187 --> 00:12:20,621
And I would enjoy some
like-minded company
212
00:12:20,689 --> 00:12:22,748
to get me through the seventh.
213
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:26,056
Is that the whistle? I
think I hear the whistle.
214
00:12:26,128 --> 00:12:27,152
We need to go.
215
00:12:27,229 --> 00:12:29,663
MALONE: No showboating, all right?
216
00:12:29,732 --> 00:12:31,222
Why are we leaving?
217
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,291
We could get killed
out here in the open!
218
00:12:33,369 --> 00:12:36,304
Put your shirt on. They'll
think we're on their team.
219
00:12:36,372 --> 00:12:40,399
Besides, getting crushed is better
than being seen with that freak job.
220
00:12:40,743 --> 00:12:43,405
Trust me, you can't
recover from social suicide.
221
00:12:43,779 --> 00:12:46,771
I never talked to a
girl that long before.
222
00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:49,378
Whoa!
223
00:12:50,419 --> 00:12:52,319
Check that out.
224
00:13:02,064 --> 00:13:04,931
Is that cheese?
225
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,773
Stop!
226
00:13:13,175 --> 00:13:17,077
Good God, man! You almost
got the Cheese Touch.
227
00:13:17,279 --> 00:13:20,339
- The what?
- The Cheese Touch.
228
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:22,577
Nobody knows when or how,
229
00:13:22,651 --> 00:13:27,315
but one day that cheese mysteriously
appeared on the blacktop.
230
00:13:28,324 --> 00:13:30,656
Nobody knew who it belonged to.
231
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:34,526
Nobody touched it. Nobody threw it away.
232
00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:36,155
And so there it sat,
233
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:39,668
growing more foul and
powerful by the day.
234
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:45,435
Then one day, a kid named Darren Walsh
made the biggest mistake of his life.
235
00:13:46,008 --> 00:13:48,101
Darren touched the cheese!
236
00:13:48,177 --> 00:13:51,271
No, I didn't! I just
looked at it! Really!
237
00:13:51,347 --> 00:13:54,111
CHIRAG: Darren had the Cheese Touch!
238
00:13:54,183 --> 00:13:56,981
It was worse than nuclear cooties.
239
00:13:58,053 --> 00:14:00,112
He became an outcast.
240
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,245
{CRYING}
241
00:14:01,891 --> 00:14:04,689
The only way to get
rid of the Cheese Touch
242
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,524
was by passing it on to someone else.
243
00:14:10,666 --> 00:14:11,758
{SCREAMS}
244
00:14:12,201 --> 00:14:15,637
And so began the Cheese Touch Frenzy.
245
00:14:15,704 --> 00:14:17,797
Friend turning on friend.
246
00:14:17,873 --> 00:14:19,568
Brother turning on sister.
247
00:14:19,642 --> 00:14:21,507
It was madness.
248
00:14:22,344 --> 00:14:27,543
Until a German exchange student
named Dieter Muller took it away.
249
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:29,445
Dieter has the Cheese Touch!
250
00:14:29,518 --> 00:14:31,213
Ze Cheese Touch?
251
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,879
Vat is it?
252
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,321
Vat does it mean, ze Cheese Touch??
253
00:14:35,391 --> 00:14:39,350
Sadly for Dieter, that fact
was lost in translation.
254
00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:41,119
No!
255
00:14:41,196 --> 00:14:44,256
Thankfully, he moved back to Düsseldorf
and took the Cheese Touch with him.
256
00:14:47,536 --> 00:14:52,496
And so the cheese sits, patiently
waiting for its next victim.
257
00:14:52,942 --> 00:14:54,409
- Wow.
- Wow.
258
00:14:55,344 --> 00:14:57,972
This is a terrible place.
259
00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:20,399
- No doors?
- None.
260
00:15:20,469 --> 00:15:23,131
I'm not pooping until
I'm in high school.
261
00:15:24,239 --> 00:15:28,335
GREG: The cafeteria, possibly
the cruellest place on Earth.
262
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:32,678
But I was about to make some
kid's day by sitting next to him.
263
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:34,079
That seat's saved.
264
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,173
For who?
265
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,751
It's saved.
266
00:15:40,956 --> 00:15:42,287
That one's saved, too.
267
00:15:44,059 --> 00:15:45,287
So not happening.
268
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,521
Uh-uh-uh.
269
00:15:47,296 --> 00:15:48,490
Taken.
270
00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:52,526
Where are we supposed to eat?
271
00:16:03,846 --> 00:16:06,644
I guess this is where all
the cool guys hang out.
272
00:16:08,651 --> 00:16:09,743
{SNEEZES}
273
00:16:12,454 --> 00:16:17,016
Fregley must have bumped his head
when he was little, like, really hard.
274
00:16:19,595 --> 00:16:20,584
{BURPS}
275
00:16:26,201 --> 00:16:28,499
Okay, okay,
276
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,437
so my first day could have gone better,
277
00:16:31,507 --> 00:16:33,498
but at least I wasn't humiliated.
278
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:37,409
Hey, Greg! You want
to come over and play?
279
00:16:38,514 --> 00:16:40,209
{KIDS LAUGHING}
280
00:16:43,552 --> 00:16:45,918
What did he just say to you?
281
00:16:45,988 --> 00:16:47,250
Oh.
282
00:16:47,322 --> 00:16:48,619
I think my ride's here.
283
00:16:48,691 --> 00:16:52,388
Hey, guys. So this guy says to that guy,
284
00:16:52,461 --> 00:16:55,726
"You wanna come over and play?"
285
00:16:55,798 --> 00:16:57,823
Yeah! Do you guys wanna play with us?
286
00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:58,924
{BOYS LAUGHING}
287
00:16:59,001 --> 00:17:01,026
See? This is the problem.
288
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:04,038
Right now I have to take
abuse from these morons.
289
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,507
But in 20 years, Quentin
here will be working for me.
290
00:17:07,576 --> 00:17:10,704
Greg, please don't fire me.
291
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:14,579
I really need my measly, pathetic
job scooping your dog's poop.
292
00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:16,447
Whatever. I'll think about it.
293
00:17:17,686 --> 00:17:21,281
No, no, no. Vanilla on the
bottom and chocolate on the top!
294
00:17:21,356 --> 00:17:23,051
I can't eat this!
295
00:17:23,425 --> 00:17:25,586
"Play," Rowley? "Play"?
296
00:17:25,661 --> 00:17:30,030
I've told you, like, a billion times that
guys our age say "hang out," not "play."
297
00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:31,323
Oops.
298
00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:34,494
Seriously, if you're not gonna
listen to me, just tell me,
299
00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:36,902
'cause if you pull
another stunt like that,
300
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:40,840
we'll be stuck on the cafeteria
floor for the rest of middle school.
301
00:17:40,909 --> 00:17:43,207
I found half a Snickers bar down there.
302
00:17:43,746 --> 00:17:46,909
I can't be the guy who eats
off his lap in the cafeteria.
303
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,473
I should be at the top
of the food chain by now.
304
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:52,247
Something's got to change, fast.
305
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:55,290
My mom told me to just be
myself and people would like me.
306
00:17:59,795 --> 00:18:03,196
That would be good advice
if you were somebody else.
307
00:18:08,937 --> 00:18:10,063
{LOUD ROCK ¶¶ music playing}
308
00:18:19,448 --> 00:18:21,245
Hey, little brother.
309
00:18:21,383 --> 00:18:23,943
Was your first day as
crappy as I said it would be?
310
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:27,318
No. Not at all. You were wrong.
311
00:18:27,389 --> 00:18:29,880
- It was actually better than I
- Worse.
312
00:18:29,958 --> 00:18:30,947
{CHUCKLES}
313
00:18:31,593 --> 00:18:33,458
You didn't listen to me, did you?
314
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:37,465
I told you not to talk, look or
go anywhere, and what happened?
315
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,967
He had to eat his lunch on the floor.
316
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:42,060
- Rowley.
- {LAUGHING} Perfect.
317
00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:44,162
And if nobody wants you
sitting at their table,
318
00:18:44,239 --> 00:18:46,764
you think they want
Chummy Buttons over here?
319
00:18:46,842 --> 00:18:50,642
I was right. You're not even
gonna make it out of there alive.
320
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:52,646
The only chance you have
of making the yearbook is
321
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:55,080
when they dedicate it to your memory.
322
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,888
So you wanna play Twisted Wizard?
323
00:19:03,759 --> 00:19:06,660
No. I have a better idea.
324
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:12,063
If he catches you in
here, he will kill you.
325
00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:13,829
Literally, kill you.
326
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,735
Don't worry. As long as we
hear the music, we're okay.
327
00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:17,931
{LOUD ¶¶ music playing}
328
00:19:18,006 --> 00:19:20,634
Whoa. Yeah. Wow.
329
00:19:20,709 --> 00:19:23,644
I didn't know Rodrick
was into motorcycles.
330
00:19:23,712 --> 00:19:26,237
- I found it.
- Found what?
331
00:19:26,315 --> 00:19:28,647
Rodrick's middle school yearbook.
332
00:19:30,552 --> 00:19:32,645
This thing holds all the answers.
333
00:19:32,721 --> 00:19:34,882
Rowley, this thing is like a bible.
334
00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:38,449
See this? This is where a
person like me needs to be.
335
00:19:41,563 --> 00:19:43,793
The class favorites.
336
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,532
They're the best in their class.
337
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:51,130
These people aren't
nobodies. They're famous.
338
00:19:51,206 --> 00:19:54,664
They don't have to worry about getting
a seat in the cafeteria, either.
339
00:19:54,743 --> 00:19:57,837
Check this out. There's
tons of things I qualify for.
340
00:19:57,913 --> 00:20:01,405
"Most Likely To Succeed,"
"Best Looking," "Class Clown."
341
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,809
They should just give
that to me right now.
342
00:20:03,886 --> 00:20:05,854
Don't you have to be funny for that?
343
00:20:06,822 --> 00:20:09,450
Hey! We could try for cutest friends!
344
00:20:09,524 --> 00:20:12,891
What did I tell you would happen
if you ever went in my room again?
345
00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:15,293
But your band is still playing.
346
00:20:15,364 --> 00:20:19,164
It's the bass solo, Turd Burglar!
Don't you know anything about music?
347
00:20:19,234 --> 00:20:22,499
Now, I came up here
to get a new drumstick,
348
00:20:22,571 --> 00:20:26,063
and now, Greg, since
Mom and Dad are gone,
349
00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:29,941
I'm going to kill you.
Literally, kill you!
350
00:20:30,178 --> 00:20:31,543
I told you.
351
00:20:31,613 --> 00:20:32,671
Beat it.
352
00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:36,844
Okay, but I just want to say one thing!
353
00:20:36,919 --> 00:20:38,682
- Run, Greg, run!
- What?
354
00:20:40,789 --> 00:20:42,120
Let go, Baby Hippo!
355
00:20:46,361 --> 00:20:47,453
{LAUGHING}
356
00:20:49,031 --> 00:20:50,623
You're gonna have to
come out sometime, loser!
357
00:20:50,699 --> 00:20:53,224
I'll wait here as long as it takes.
358
00:20:53,302 --> 00:20:55,463
And then, you're dead.
359
00:21:09,151 --> 00:21:10,948
Time out, Rodrick. I have to pee.
360
00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:14,147
{CHUCKLES} No time outs. Only death!
361
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,056
- But I really have to go.
- Don't care.
362
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,361
{WATER GURGLING}
363
00:21:40,449 --> 00:21:41,438
{GURGLING}
364
00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:58,362
{EXCLAIMS}
365
00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:03,530
{SIGHS}
366
00:22:04,506 --> 00:22:05,666
{HUMMING}
367
00:22:06,008 --> 00:22:07,669
Move over! I'm dying.
368
00:22:09,845 --> 00:22:11,005
{SIGHING DEEPLY}
369
00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:15,874
Got you!
370
00:22:15,951 --> 00:22:16,940
{SCREAMING}
371
00:22:18,487 --> 00:22:20,978
Greg, did you throw Manny off his
372
00:22:21,056 --> 00:22:22,717
What is going on?
373
00:22:22,791 --> 00:22:25,555
Greg started it. I just came
in here to take a shower.
374
00:22:25,627 --> 00:22:28,221
He's lying! He was gonna kill
me 'cause I was in his room!
375
00:22:28,296 --> 00:22:30,594
And so you peed on him?
376
00:22:30,665 --> 00:22:33,759
Yes. I mean, no. I mean
377
00:22:34,136 --> 00:22:35,228
Yes.
378
00:22:44,946 --> 00:22:46,345
{WHISTLING}
379
00:22:53,688 --> 00:22:54,916
{ALL CHATTERING}
380
00:22:54,990 --> 00:22:55,979
{SCHOOL BELL RINGS}
381
00:22:56,425 --> 00:22:59,053
Wow, there's a lot to sign up for.
382
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:01,925
You could be class favorite
in a bunch of things.
383
00:23:01,997 --> 00:23:03,430
Jazz dancing!
384
00:23:03,498 --> 00:23:05,022
We could do that one together!
385
00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:08,968
I can't believe all these
activities. They're all so much work.
386
00:23:09,037 --> 00:23:13,235
Staying after school, meeting
before school, on weekends.
387
00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:15,640
What kind of extracurricular
activities are these?
388
00:23:15,710 --> 00:23:17,735
Out of my way.
389
00:23:18,580 --> 00:23:20,946
Who let you into this
school, Greg Heffley?
390
00:23:21,216 --> 00:23:23,684
I was thinking the same thing
about you, Patty Farrell.
391
00:23:23,752 --> 00:23:25,845
You listen to me, Greg Heffley.
392
00:23:25,921 --> 00:23:28,617
I'm running for student council
president and I'm warning you,
393
00:23:28,690 --> 00:23:31,022
if you get in my way,
I will beat you up,
394
00:23:31,093 --> 00:23:33,960
just like I did in
kindergarten and fourth grade.
395
00:23:36,865 --> 00:23:40,062
Fourth grade? That one was ugly.
396
00:23:41,069 --> 00:23:44,266
What's her problem? What
did I ever do to her?
397
00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:49,842
Patty, Patty is a fatty,
has a face just like a ratty!
398
00:23:50,278 --> 00:23:51,438
{CRYING}
399
00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:52,571
{ALL LAUGHING}
400
00:23:53,982 --> 00:23:58,646
Come on, that was pretty funny.
She needs to get a sense of humor.
401
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:02,019
And I need something to
make me a class favorite.
402
00:24:02,090 --> 00:24:04,115
ANGIE: What about class favorites?
403
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,825
Don't you ever say hi or
hello before you start talking?
404
00:24:08,897 --> 00:24:10,660
- Hi.
- Hello.
405
00:24:10,899 --> 00:24:13,333
Oh, Greg's only here because
he really wants to be something
406
00:24:13,401 --> 00:24:14,629
Rowley!
407
00:24:15,303 --> 00:24:18,636
I was just saying that I would
really like to nail these people
408
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:20,641
because it's so obvious that
409
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:23,303
they're only doing these
activities to get in the yearbook.
410
00:24:23,378 --> 00:24:25,676
You know, I like your point of view.
411
00:24:25,747 --> 00:24:29,342
You should sign up for the school
paper. We're the voice of the people.
412
00:24:30,152 --> 00:24:33,588
Well, the people are mostly idiots,
so I guess, technically speaking,
413
00:24:33,655 --> 00:24:36,624
we're the voice of the people
making fun of the people.
414
00:24:36,691 --> 00:24:41,355
Thanks, but I can't be on the paper
because I'm gonna be in the paper a lot.
415
00:24:41,429 --> 00:24:44,523
So that would be a conflict of interest.
416
00:24:46,101 --> 00:24:48,968
You're the people. Got it.
417
00:24:51,373 --> 00:24:54,206
Do you believe me now?
That girl is crazy town.
418
00:24:54,276 --> 00:24:56,574
Look! They have wrestling!
419
00:24:57,679 --> 00:25:00,409
That's it! I'm great at wrestling.
420
00:25:00,482 --> 00:25:03,747
I've watched it for years,
I know all the moves.
421
00:25:04,486 --> 00:25:05,851
Tombstone piledriver.
422
00:25:07,856 --> 00:25:09,050
Chair shot.
423
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:12,584
Vader Bomb.
424
00:25:13,528 --> 00:25:17,430
AUDIENCE: Heffley!
Heffley! Heffley! Heffley!
425
00:25:17,499 --> 00:25:20,400
Heffley! Heffley! Heffley!
426
00:25:23,271 --> 00:25:27,401
Okay. Something is very wrong here.
427
00:25:28,043 --> 00:25:30,170
These don't look like
wrestling costumes to me.
428
00:25:30,245 --> 00:25:33,976
Welcome to wrestling,
you future Olympians!
429
00:25:34,749 --> 00:25:36,774
So, just to make sure we
all get off on the right foot
430
00:25:36,851 --> 00:25:39,615
and nobody gets seriously injured,
431
00:25:39,688 --> 00:25:41,417
we're gonna teach you a few basic moves.
432
00:25:41,489 --> 00:25:47,291
Remember, this is about learning
the sport and having fun!
433
00:25:47,362 --> 00:25:48,852
All right. It's not a competition
434
00:25:48,930 --> 00:25:54,664
because everyone here is
already a superstar to me.
435
00:25:55,670 --> 00:25:57,137
Coach Brewer, can you step
over here for a moment,
436
00:25:57,205 --> 00:25:59,400
please, give me a hand? Thanks.
437
00:25:59,941 --> 00:26:00,930
{GRUNTS}
438
00:26:01,943 --> 00:26:02,967
{ALL EXCLAIM}
439
00:26:03,044 --> 00:26:05,478
That's known as a speed takedown.
440
00:26:05,547 --> 00:26:07,071
Nice job, Coach Brewer.
441
00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:09,412
Can you get up and come behind me?
442
00:26:09,484 --> 00:26:11,816
Put one arm over my
shoulder? Let's go, yeah.
443
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,047
You got it, walk it off, come on.
444
00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:18,918
That was known as the arm drag.
445
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:21,622
Let's give Coach Brewer
a hand, everybody!
446
00:26:23,431 --> 00:26:24,420
He's fine.
447
00:26:26,501 --> 00:26:27,968
Yeah, Heffley.
448
00:26:28,403 --> 00:26:31,133
What about piledrivers and Vader bombs?
449
00:26:31,206 --> 00:26:33,697
That is fake wrestling.
450
00:26:35,477 --> 00:26:38,207
This is real wrestling! Let's go!
451
00:26:39,247 --> 00:26:41,875
If I have to wrestle
Benny Wells, he'll kill me!
452
00:26:41,950 --> 00:26:43,713
MALONE: Let's move! Come on!
453
00:26:44,319 --> 00:26:47,948
Okay, to keep things fair, I've divided
you into weight categories by your size,
454
00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:50,958
so Rottweilers over here.
455
00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:52,891
Bulldogs, you stay right there.
456
00:26:52,961 --> 00:26:54,622
And we got two
457
00:26:56,298 --> 00:26:58,027
Chihuahuas. Yeah.
458
00:26:58,300 --> 00:26:59,892
Nice head gear.
459
00:26:59,968 --> 00:27:02,266
Thanks. My mom let me borrow it.
460
00:27:03,204 --> 00:27:04,466
All right, let's see what you got.
461
00:27:04,539 --> 00:27:05,528
{WHISTLE BLOWS}
462
00:27:05,607 --> 00:27:07,575
Don't worry, Fregley,
I'll take it easy on you.
463
00:27:07,642 --> 00:27:08,631
{EXCLAIMING}
464
00:27:10,278 --> 00:27:11,677
Hey, I wasn't ready!
465
00:27:11,746 --> 00:27:15,978
Nobody's keeping score, but that
was a sweet speed takedown, Fregley!
466
00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:21,586
This is fun, Greg Heffley!
467
00:27:23,658 --> 00:27:25,023
Get off me!
468
00:27:27,962 --> 00:27:30,294
ALL: {CHANTING} Fregley!
Fregley! Fregley!
469
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,093
Blow the whistle, blow the whistle!
470
00:27:34,302 --> 00:27:36,429
All right! Fregley!
471
00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:41,201
Outstanding!
472
00:27:43,345 --> 00:27:46,576
And let's Let's hear
it for our other winner.
473
00:27:48,316 --> 00:27:49,977
Yay, Greg!
474
00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:52,879
I can't lose to Fregley again.
475
00:27:52,954 --> 00:27:54,979
If I get beat by the
weirdest kid in school,
476
00:27:55,056 --> 00:27:57,547
nobody's ever gonna let
me sit at their table.
477
00:27:57,625 --> 00:28:01,186
How are you going to beat him? It's
like he had superhuman strength!
478
00:28:01,563 --> 00:28:04,088
I'm not gonna beat him. I'm
gonna gain 10 pounds this week
479
00:28:04,165 --> 00:28:06,224
so I can move up to the
Bulldog weight class.
480
00:28:06,301 --> 00:28:09,031
And then you and I
can wrestle each other.
481
00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:10,469
Ready?
482
00:28:10,538 --> 00:28:12,563
- Can I throw at you now?
- Later.
483
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,837
You're better at riding than
I am, and I'm a better thrower.
484
00:28:16,044 --> 00:28:17,272
{SIGHS}
485
00:28:28,923 --> 00:28:31,448
Greg, save some for
everybody else, honey.
486
00:28:31,526 --> 00:28:33,494
GREG: Can't. I need to bulk up.
487
00:28:33,561 --> 00:28:34,585
Why?
488
00:28:35,196 --> 00:28:38,188
I think your body looks
beautiful just the way it is.
489
00:28:38,333 --> 00:28:41,962
I heard he got his butt kicked at
wrestling. Now what is wrong with you?
490
00:28:42,036 --> 00:28:45,403
Why would you sign up for
something you don't have to do?
491
00:28:45,607 --> 00:28:47,837
You signed up for wrestling?
492
00:28:48,042 --> 00:28:49,066
Kind of.
493
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:51,704
You never sign up for
anything at school.
494
00:28:51,780 --> 00:28:53,748
You fly below the radar.
495
00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:56,841
That way you never raise
anyone's expectations.
496
00:28:56,918 --> 00:28:59,910
Thank you, Rodrick, for those
words of motivational wisdom,
497
00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:01,979
but perhaps a better
way to look at it is that
498
00:29:02,056 --> 00:29:05,253
it's a chance to learn
to excel at something.
499
00:29:05,326 --> 00:29:08,625
Well, what could I learn at
school that I can't teach myself?
500
00:29:09,931 --> 00:29:11,296
Well, Greg, I think it's great that
501
00:29:11,366 --> 00:29:13,664
you took the initiative
to learn something new.
502
00:29:13,735 --> 00:29:16,932
This is like the first
step to responsibility!
503
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:20,566
My boss's son Will was smaller than you,
504
00:29:20,642 --> 00:29:23,440
but he built himself
up with the weights!
505
00:29:23,511 --> 00:29:25,672
Yeah. We could get
you the same equipment.
506
00:29:25,747 --> 00:29:30,184
You could train, get the
right nutrition, cardio.
507
00:29:30,518 --> 00:29:34,113
You'd be in tip-top
shape just like Will.
508
00:29:36,624 --> 00:29:39,184
And it would only take,
like, three months.
509
00:29:44,065 --> 00:29:45,965
- Three months?
- Yeah.
510
00:29:47,535 --> 00:29:49,560
I'll just stick to eating.
511
00:29:55,376 --> 00:29:56,638
Well, I don't know where
you put it, Heffley,
512
00:29:56,711 --> 00:29:59,236
but you gained 10 pounds
and joined the Bulldog class.
513
00:29:59,314 --> 00:30:00,440
Yes.
514
00:30:07,055 --> 00:30:09,615
I thought you didn't
gain any weight this week.
515
00:30:09,691 --> 00:30:11,454
My mom's ankle weights.
516
00:30:13,862 --> 00:30:17,525
All right, bulldog Heffley.
Meet your new opponent.
517
00:30:19,934 --> 00:30:22,368
What? But this is boys' wrestling.
518
00:30:22,570 --> 00:30:24,663
Ever hear of Title Nine?
519
00:30:24,873 --> 00:30:26,500
Her parents threatened to sue,
520
00:30:26,574 --> 00:30:30,408
so you show her what it's like
to wrestle a real live boy.
521
00:30:32,714 --> 00:30:33,840
{PATTY GRUNTS}
522
00:30:37,385 --> 00:30:41,185
Come on! What you waiting for,
huh? Don't be such a wuss, Heffley.
523
00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:44,714
- Make your move!
- She's a girl! Where do I grab her?
524
00:30:48,329 --> 00:30:50,524
- Stay down!
- ANGIE: Patty, over here!
525
00:30:54,402 --> 00:30:57,371
- Get off of me!
- Can I wrestle somebody good now?
526
00:31:02,610 --> 00:31:03,838
{ALL LAUGHING}
527
00:31:07,649 --> 00:31:09,981
Well, look who's in the paper.
528
00:31:10,885 --> 00:31:15,845
Greg! You're famous!
Right on the front page!
529
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:27,666
And if I would have pinned her,
which I could have done easily,
530
00:31:27,735 --> 00:31:30,226
you know I would have gotten
in trouble for hurting a girl.
531
00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:32,569
Why does she even want to wrestle?
532
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,767
Who knows? Girls are very confusing.
533
00:31:34,842 --> 00:31:36,400
Like today, I heard
someone in the hallway say
534
00:31:36,477 --> 00:31:40,470
that Bryce Anderson has a cute
butt. What does that even mean?
535
00:31:40,548 --> 00:31:42,982
A butt can't be cute. It's a butt.
536
00:31:43,618 --> 00:31:46,212
I know, but that's
what they were saying.
537
00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:49,154
I don't see why girls our age
can't talk just like regular people.
538
00:31:54,963 --> 00:31:57,955
So how are you gonna
become a class favorite now?
539
00:31:58,032 --> 00:32:01,729
- Two words. Best Dressed.
- How are you going to do that?
540
00:32:02,036 --> 00:32:05,802
Fashion is easy. You wear a shirt
and a tie, and kids are impressed.
541
00:32:05,873 --> 00:32:08,398
I'm telling you, this is gonna work.
542
00:32:09,243 --> 00:32:12,679
{SINGING}¶¶ I light 'em up
before the motor starts
543
00:32:12,747 --> 00:32:16,444
¶¶ I go so fast that I could never stop
544
00:32:16,517 --> 00:32:19,384
¶¶ Look under the hood but
you don't know what I got
545
00:32:19,454 --> 00:32:21,581
¶¶ I'm a moving violation, baby
546
00:32:21,656 --> 00:32:24,216
¶¶ Hot, hot, hot, hot
547
00:32:29,831 --> 00:32:31,025
Ta-da!
548
00:32:31,599 --> 00:32:34,090
- I told you I was wearing this.
- I know!
549
00:32:34,168 --> 00:32:36,796
- I wanted to be matchers!
- BOY: Check them out!
550
00:32:38,673 --> 00:32:42,131
ALL: {SINGING} ¶¶Greg and
Rowley sitting in a tree
551
00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:45,543
¶¶ K-
l-S-S-l-N-G
552
00:32:46,180 --> 00:32:47,909
¶¶ First comes love
553
00:32:47,982 --> 00:32:51,042
GREG: You know, maybe Rodrick
was right about Rowley.
554
00:32:51,919 --> 00:32:54,410
Maybe I do need a new best friend.
555
00:32:54,489 --> 00:32:57,219
But I can't just ditch him.
556
00:32:57,291 --> 00:33:00,749
I mean, if anybody has a better
idea, I'd love to hear it.
557
00:33:02,296 --> 00:33:04,264
NARRATOR: In this school,
much like your own,
558
00:33:04,332 --> 00:33:07,028
one boy is about to
learn an important lesson
559
00:33:07,101 --> 00:33:08,966
about self-worth and esteem.
560
00:33:09,637 --> 00:33:11,229
Gag me with a spoon.
561
00:33:11,305 --> 00:33:14,399
That guy is so unpopular,
I'd hate to be him.
562
00:33:15,910 --> 00:33:17,070
{SIGHS}
563
00:33:17,145 --> 00:33:18,772
Why doesn't anybody like me?
564
00:33:18,846 --> 00:33:22,441
BROCK: Maybe because they don't
know how awesome you really are.
565
00:33:23,317 --> 00:33:26,718
Brock Branigan P.I.!
What are you doing here?
566
00:33:27,155 --> 00:33:30,647
I'm here to solve the case of the
boy who just needed to be himself.
567
00:33:30,725 --> 00:33:34,217
So go for it! Show them
how awesome you really are!
568
00:33:37,632 --> 00:33:40,294
Hey, guys. Do you like break dancing?
569
00:33:42,737 --> 00:33:44,170
{UPBEAT ¶¶ music playing}
570
00:33:56,350 --> 00:33:58,648
That is totally rad!
571
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:02,053
Wicked. You should sit
with us at lunch, friend.
572
00:34:06,127 --> 00:34:07,355
Sweet!
573
00:34:08,629 --> 00:34:11,564
It really is awesome
to be me! Thanks, Brock.
574
00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:27,110
Okay. Let's talk about
what we've learned.
575
00:34:27,181 --> 00:34:30,275
GREG: I don't know about anyone
else, but I know what I learned.
576
00:34:30,351 --> 00:34:32,319
It is awesome to be me.
577
00:34:32,653 --> 00:34:36,248
The problem with Rowley is
that he's not enough like me.
578
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:39,225
I can't ditch him 'cause
he'd be lost without me.
579
00:34:40,762 --> 00:34:42,923
But maybe I can fix him.
580
00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:48,097
Because that's the kind of friend I am.
581
00:34:48,269 --> 00:34:49,827
What are you doing?
582
00:34:49,904 --> 00:34:52,236
Making your clothes more
middle-school friendly.
583
00:34:52,306 --> 00:34:55,867
Look at this stuff.
Too babyish and weird.
584
00:34:56,277 --> 00:34:59,212
Too "Why don't you just punch me now?"
585
00:35:00,548 --> 00:35:03,312
What are you, a foreign
exchange student?
586
00:35:04,385 --> 00:35:07,320
Oh, man. This one we burn.
587
00:35:07,588 --> 00:35:09,613
That was a present from my mom.
588
00:35:09,690 --> 00:35:12,557
Well, then your mom is
trying to get you killed.
589
00:35:12,627 --> 00:35:14,356
Ready? Steady. Go.
590
00:35:18,099 --> 00:35:21,034
No, no, no. You look like
one of the Seven Dwarfs.
591
00:35:21,102 --> 00:35:24,868
You only need one
strap. One strap is cool.
592
00:35:25,273 --> 00:35:26,501
But there's two straps.
593
00:35:26,574 --> 00:35:29,668
Why would they put on two straps
if you're only supposed to use one?
594
00:35:29,744 --> 00:35:32,372
Because the guys who make
backpacks aren't cool.
595
00:35:32,446 --> 00:35:36,542
If they were cool, they'd give it one
strap, like the cool one-strap guys do.
596
00:35:36,617 --> 00:35:39,415
You know what has one
strap? Machine guns.
597
00:35:39,487 --> 00:35:42,388
You know what else? Electric guitars.
598
00:35:42,456 --> 00:35:44,890
- You know what else?
- Purses?
599
00:35:45,860 --> 00:35:49,261
- But Joshie is cool.
- Rowley, Joshie is not cool.
600
00:35:49,330 --> 00:35:51,992
He's a lip-synching pop star whose
fans are eight-year-old girls.
601
00:35:52,099 --> 00:35:55,068
You're just jealous that I
was the one who discovered him.
602
00:35:55,136 --> 00:35:58,128
Who are you gonna listen
to, Rowley? Me or Joshie?
603
00:35:58,206 --> 00:36:01,733
Joshie says to respect your
parents and follow your dreams.
604
00:36:02,109 --> 00:36:04,475
Then Joshie must get beaten up a lot.
605
00:36:12,486 --> 00:36:14,613
You actually almost look as good as me.
606
00:36:14,689 --> 00:36:16,782
Am I great at this or what?
607
00:36:18,226 --> 00:36:21,218
There's Bryce Anderson. Just be cool.
608
00:36:22,330 --> 00:36:26,266
- Hey, Bryce.
- Yeah, hey, Bryce!
609
00:36:27,301 --> 00:36:28,666
Cute butt!
610
00:36:32,573 --> 00:36:34,564
You're killing me, you know that?
611
00:36:34,675 --> 00:36:37,940
Look, Rowley, tonight's Halloween,
our favorite night of the year,
612
00:36:38,012 --> 00:36:42,210
so, just promise me you won't
wear, do or say anything weird.
613
00:36:43,351 --> 00:36:44,443
{DOORBELL RINGS}
614
00:36:46,888 --> 00:36:48,879
You're kidding me, right?
615
00:36:49,056 --> 00:36:52,355
{SIGHS} My mom wanted me
to be visible at night.
616
00:36:53,861 --> 00:36:55,556
From space?
617
00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:59,661
So, we'll hit a few houses
on the way to the North Side,
618
00:36:59,734 --> 00:37:02,066
which is where we'll do most
of our trick-or-treating.
619
00:37:02,136 --> 00:37:04,627
Why are we going all the way over there?
620
00:37:04,705 --> 00:37:06,332
It's where the rich people live.
621
00:37:06,407 --> 00:37:10,309
They hand out, like, two, three
pieces of big candy to each kid.
622
00:37:10,378 --> 00:37:12,403
Not that candy corn crap.
623
00:37:13,214 --> 00:37:16,775
I'm talking about full-size
Milky Ways and Nutter Butters.
624
00:37:16,851 --> 00:37:18,512
Plus, if we time it right,
625
00:37:18,586 --> 00:37:22,750
rich people get tired of answering
their doors and just leave the bowl out.
626
00:37:22,823 --> 00:37:24,415
We can clean up.
627
00:37:26,260 --> 00:37:28,057
ROWLEY: Wow, you're lucky.
628
00:37:28,129 --> 00:37:31,064
My mom doesn't let me
play with makeup anymore.
629
00:37:31,132 --> 00:37:34,795
Shut up, tool. Löded
Diper's got a gig tonight.
630
00:37:39,607 --> 00:37:40,596
Mmm.
631
00:37:40,942 --> 00:37:43,069
Going to the North Side, huh?
632
00:37:43,144 --> 00:37:45,704
Takes you right past the
Devil Worshiper Woods.
633
00:37:45,780 --> 00:37:47,372
The Devil Worshiper Woods?
634
00:37:48,282 --> 00:37:49,943
You know about that story, right?
635
00:37:51,285 --> 00:37:55,881
Well, there used to be this house
right here where these woods are.
636
00:37:56,490 --> 00:38:00,119
They had to tear it down because
what happened there was so terrible.
637
00:38:00,194 --> 00:38:01,718
What happened there?
638
00:38:01,796 --> 00:38:06,165
Well, a long time ago, two
kids who were, I don't know,
639
00:38:06,968 --> 00:38:08,959
maybe in middle school,
640
00:38:09,503 --> 00:38:12,734
they trick-or-treated at
that house on Halloween night.
641
00:38:12,807 --> 00:38:19,042
But the house was full
of devil worshipers
642
00:38:19,780 --> 00:38:23,443
who put the kids in
these giant pizza ovens.
643
00:38:23,584 --> 00:38:26,985
And they cooked them and they ate them.
644
00:38:27,855 --> 00:38:30,289
But they forgot to turn off the ovens.
645
00:38:30,358 --> 00:38:33,623
So the house burned
down with everyone in it.
646
00:38:34,495 --> 00:38:36,520
How'd the trees get there?
647
00:38:36,964 --> 00:38:39,899
And then they planted trees.
648
00:38:40,501 --> 00:38:41,627
Oh.
649
00:38:41,702 --> 00:38:45,069
And to this day, on Halloween night,
650
00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:50,370
you can still hear the demonic
laughter of the devil worshiper ghosts
651
00:38:50,444 --> 00:38:55,780
as they roam the woods, looking
for more kids to sacrifice!
652
00:38:56,017 --> 00:38:59,180
Hey, Rodrick. I need
you to help me out. Like
653
00:39:00,488 --> 00:39:01,682
{DOORBELL RINGS}
654
00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:04,247
Are you wearing eyeliner?
655
00:39:04,792 --> 00:39:06,692
- KIDS: Trick or treat.
- Susan!
656
00:39:06,961 --> 00:39:09,486
- I'm on door duty!
- GIRL: Thank you.
657
00:39:10,931 --> 00:39:12,421
Bubby!
658
00:39:12,633 --> 00:39:14,931
Mom, can you tell him
to stop calling me that?
659
00:39:15,002 --> 00:39:16,594
What if somebody hears?
660
00:39:16,670 --> 00:39:19,468
Then they'll know how much he loves you.
661
00:39:20,574 --> 00:39:23,839
Frank, Frank, honey,
honey, can you go with them?
662
00:39:23,911 --> 00:39:27,142
No, I can't. I got to guard the house
in case someone tries to T.P. Us.
663
00:39:27,214 --> 00:39:29,114
They're gonna get
drenched from the roof.
664
00:39:29,183 --> 00:39:30,275
{LAUGHS}
665
00:39:30,351 --> 00:39:33,013
Honey, for goodness
sakes, don't do that again.
666
00:39:33,087 --> 00:39:34,645
Remember what happened last year?
667
00:39:35,489 --> 00:39:37,081
I got you!
668
00:39:39,994 --> 00:39:41,359
{CRYING}
669
00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:42,588
Hi.
670
00:39:45,533 --> 00:39:47,296
I thought they were teenagers.
671
00:39:47,368 --> 00:39:50,997
And I couldn't see through the bushes.
My legs, they hurt from the squatting.
672
00:39:51,072 --> 00:39:54,405
So, that's why I'm doing
it from the roof this year.
673
00:39:54,909 --> 00:39:57,537
So I can see when they're coming.
674
00:40:00,247 --> 00:40:01,305
Can we go now?
675
00:40:01,382 --> 00:40:02,371
{DOORBELL RINGS}
676
00:40:02,450 --> 00:40:03,940
Yes, go.
677
00:40:04,018 --> 00:40:07,545
- But stay in the neighborhood.
- KIDS: Trick or treat.
678
00:40:07,621 --> 00:40:10,317
- And no North Side!
- We promise!
679
00:40:26,607 --> 00:40:28,666
GREG: We got to stay in this
neighborhood the rest of the night.
680
00:40:28,742 --> 00:40:31,643
That guy gave me two
full-size Snickers!
681
00:40:31,712 --> 00:40:35,808
Did I tell you or did I tell you?
These people have money to burn!
682
00:40:35,883 --> 00:40:36,872
{LOUD ROCK ¶¶ music playing ON CAR RADIO}
683
00:40:36,984 --> 00:40:39,077
ROWLEY: I can't believe
we got this much candy.
684
00:40:39,453 --> 00:40:40,977
This is, like, the best day ever.
685
00:40:41,055 --> 00:40:44,024
CARTER: Hey, reflector
dude, nice costume!
686
00:40:44,525 --> 00:40:45,958
Thanks! My mom made it
687
00:40:47,495 --> 00:40:48,723
{EXCLAIMING}
688
00:40:50,431 --> 00:40:51,420
{BOYS LAUGHING}
689
00:40:52,633 --> 00:40:56,763
- CARTER: Oh, that was awesome!
- I saw your plates! We're calling the cops!
690
00:40:59,340 --> 00:41:00,398
Uh-oh.
691
00:41:01,976 --> 00:41:03,204
Oh, boy.
692
00:41:05,412 --> 00:41:06,538
Run!
693
00:41:10,651 --> 00:41:12,585
CARTER: Hey, they're
going through the yard!
694
00:41:12,653 --> 00:41:14,780
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
695
00:41:17,057 --> 00:41:19,890
Where are we going?
We're totally exposed!
696
00:41:22,796 --> 00:41:25,162
- My grandma's house!
- Quickly!
697
00:41:25,966 --> 00:41:27,524
They're coming!
698
00:41:29,470 --> 00:41:30,494
{RINGING DOORBELL}
699
00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:32,903
- Hello?
- That's not helping! She's not home!
700
00:41:32,973 --> 00:41:34,634
- Bingo night.
- CARTER: Okay, you guys are dead.
701
00:41:34,708 --> 00:41:36,676
ROWLEY: Open the door! Get
the key! GREG: Okay. Okay.
702
00:41:36,744 --> 00:41:38,405
- ROWLEY: Open the door! Get it!
- Come on, let's get them, boys.
703
00:41:38,479 --> 00:41:40,003
ROWLEY: They're coming!
704
00:41:40,881 --> 00:41:42,678
ROWLEY: Now! CARTER: Oh, I got you now!
705
00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:44,012
PETE: Hey, hey!
706
00:41:46,353 --> 00:41:48,321
Come on, you babies!
707
00:41:50,691 --> 00:41:51,783
I'm gonna kick your butts!
708
00:41:53,827 --> 00:41:57,058
- Yeah? You and what army?
- Whatever.
709
00:41:58,165 --> 00:41:59,689
{BOTH BABBLING}
710
00:42:02,903 --> 00:42:05,963
You guys are so lucky you can
hide in there behind your mommy!
711
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,871
No, we aren't! It's not our house!
712
00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:10,775
It's his grandma's and
she's not even home!
713
00:42:12,780 --> 00:42:13,769
{LAUGHING}
714
00:42:14,348 --> 00:42:17,078
What? Why would you tell them that?
715
00:42:17,151 --> 00:42:18,413
CARTER: {SOFTLY} Did he just say that?
716
00:42:18,485 --> 00:42:19,474
Oops.
717
00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:27,022
Now they're never gonna leave. You
need to call your mom to come get us.
718
00:42:27,094 --> 00:42:29,562
Mine'll kill me if she knows we're here.
719
00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:32,861
Mine will, too. She thinks
you're a bad influence.
720
00:42:34,335 --> 00:42:35,768
She's right.
721
00:42:37,037 --> 00:42:38,971
Then we're gonna have
to bust out of here.
722
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:43,071
- PETE: You have any threes?
- Go fish.
723
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:44,937
{CREAKING}
724
00:42:47,348 --> 00:42:49,213
Hey, what's that?
725
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:55,351
{¶¶ DANGER! HIGH VOL TAGEPLAYING ¶¶}
726
00:42:55,489 --> 00:42:57,354
¶¶ Danger, danger
727
00:42:58,225 --> 00:42:59,692
¶¶ High Voltage
728
00:43:01,729 --> 00:43:02,923
{LAUGHING}
729
00:43:03,697 --> 00:43:05,289
¶¶ Danger, danger
730
00:43:06,033 --> 00:43:07,523
¶¶ High Voltage
731
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,440
Just back off! I don't
want to hurt anybody,
732
00:43:15,509 --> 00:43:18,569
we just want to walk away
and forget this ever happened.
733
00:43:18,646 --> 00:43:20,978
Nobody needs to be a hero! Whoa!
734
00:43:29,857 --> 00:43:31,222
Are you kidding me?
735
00:43:31,292 --> 00:43:35,854
I'm gonna rip off your arms and punch
you in the face with your own fists!
736
00:43:41,302 --> 00:43:43,270
- They're gaining!
- This way!
737
00:43:49,276 --> 00:43:52,074
The Devil Worshiper Woods! No way!
738
00:43:52,413 --> 00:43:56,315
PETE: Hey! Stay right
there! We're gonna get you!
739
00:43:59,086 --> 00:44:01,145
{PANTING} They're going into the woods.
740
00:44:01,221 --> 00:44:04,554
{PANTING} No, no way I go into
Devil Worshiper Woods. Uh-uh.
741
00:44:05,926 --> 00:44:07,553
This isn't over!
742
00:44:11,131 --> 00:44:13,998
- ROWLEY: I'm really scared!
- Just keep running!
743
00:44:14,735 --> 00:44:15,963
{ROWLEY PANTING}
744
00:44:16,337 --> 00:44:17,702
{LOUD LAUGHTER}
745
00:44:21,809 --> 00:44:24,744
ROWLEY: Did you hear that?
It's the devil worshipers.
746
00:44:25,479 --> 00:44:27,071
{LOUD LAUGHTER}
747
00:44:28,248 --> 00:44:30,113
{LAUGHTER CONTINUES}
748
00:44:37,725 --> 00:44:38,953
{BOTH SCREAMING}
749
00:44:44,498 --> 00:44:45,658
Guys?
750
00:44:54,141 --> 00:44:55,631
- Are we safe?
- Yeah.
751
00:44:55,776 --> 00:44:58,609
And we made it with
still a ton of candy.
752
00:45:01,248 --> 00:45:04,843
Sorry. I was I thought
you were teenagers.
753
00:45:08,122 --> 00:45:10,647
- BOY: Maybe next year, Pops!
- Hey!
754
00:45:16,930 --> 00:45:17,919
{SNIFFING}
755
00:45:17,998 --> 00:45:18,987
{GROANS}
756
00:45:24,972 --> 00:45:28,203
So anyone else exhibiting
symptoms of pink eye
757
00:45:28,275 --> 00:45:30,641
should contact the nurse immediately.
758
00:45:30,711 --> 00:45:33,771
In field trip news, consent
forms are going out today
759
00:45:33,847 --> 00:45:37,146
for our annual History
of Plumbing excursion.
760
00:45:37,217 --> 00:45:38,411
In sports news
761
00:45:39,420 --> 00:45:44,448
I think Shelly is looking Hot today.
762
00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:47,821
- BOY: Yeah.
- Are they talking about me?
763
00:45:48,595 --> 00:45:50,654
I don't know. I don't speak Russian.
764
00:45:50,731 --> 00:45:51,755
{TEACHER SHUSHING}
765
00:45:51,832 --> 00:45:56,599
And finally, some positions have
opened up for the Safety Patrol.
766
00:45:56,670 --> 00:46:00,504
If anyone is interested, see
Mr. Winsky after homeroom.
767
00:46:00,574 --> 00:46:02,735
GREG: Now that's what I'm talking about.
768
00:46:03,977 --> 00:46:07,276
Safety Patrol. The
cops of middle school.
769
00:46:08,048 --> 00:46:14,146
You boss people around, report the
jerks, and miss class three times a week.
770
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:20,785
MR. WINSKY: Safety
Patrol is a sacred trust.
771
00:46:20,855 --> 00:46:24,916
When you put on this vest and that
badge you become a protector of the weak.
772
00:46:24,993 --> 00:46:28,588
You become an enforcer of
the laws of this school,
773
00:46:28,663 --> 00:46:31,826
because today's litterer and jaywalker
774
00:46:31,899 --> 00:46:34,424
is tomorrow's window
breaker and graffiti vandal,
775
00:46:34,502 --> 00:46:36,697
and it's our job to stop it.
776
00:46:36,771 --> 00:46:39,763
So I ask you, are you up for the job?
777
00:46:40,775 --> 00:46:42,140
- Yes!
- Yes!
778
00:46:42,977 --> 00:46:45,241
Then welcome to Safety Patrol.
779
00:46:45,313 --> 00:46:48,373
Just remember, with great power
780
00:46:48,449 --> 00:46:51,043
- Whoa. comes great responsibility.
781
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,182
Now, you get your first
assignment just after lunch,
782
00:46:55,256 --> 00:46:57,315
so you'll be excused from the
first 20 minutes of sixth period.
783
00:46:57,392 --> 00:47:00,225
But that means we'll miss Algebra Ouch!
784
00:47:00,328 --> 00:47:01,818
Do we get free stuff?
785
00:47:02,864 --> 00:47:05,492
- Free hot cocoa.
- Could this day get any better?
786
00:47:06,234 --> 00:47:07,929
Whoa, is that cocoa?
787
00:47:08,002 --> 00:47:10,800
- Sorry, Safety Patrol only.
- Sorry.
788
00:47:14,308 --> 00:47:18,540
You rejected the school paper,
but you joined the Safety Patrol?
789
00:47:18,613 --> 00:47:20,706
Look, are you working your way
down the evolutionary ladder?
790
00:47:20,782 --> 00:47:21,840
What?
791
00:47:21,916 --> 00:47:25,374
Look, Safety Patrol is
the lowest of the low,
792
00:47:25,453 --> 00:47:28,547
the geekiest of the geeky,
the Island of Misfit Toys.
793
00:47:28,623 --> 00:47:31,490
You're just jealous they don't
trust you to keep our school safe.
794
00:47:31,559 --> 00:47:35,188
Now if you'll excuse me, I
need to secure the perimeter.
795
00:47:39,333 --> 00:47:42,063
GIRL: I'm hungry. GREG:
Keep it straight, people.
796
00:47:42,136 --> 00:47:44,798
Single-file line, one by one.
797
00:47:50,178 --> 00:47:51,372
{ROCK ¶¶ MUSIC BLARING ON CAR RADIO}
798
00:47:52,747 --> 00:47:55,739
Greg! It's those guys from Halloween!
799
00:47:56,884 --> 00:47:58,408
What do we do?
800
00:48:01,422 --> 00:48:04,823
Come on, man, just pull my finger. I
swear to God, I'm not gonna do anything.
801
00:48:04,892 --> 00:48:07,622
Everybody, shoulder to
shoulder. Shoulder to shoulder.
802
00:48:07,695 --> 00:48:09,754
- GREG: Go. Go!
- Whoa, whoa.
803
00:48:22,376 --> 00:48:25,470
- That was close.
- Too close.
804
00:48:26,981 --> 00:48:28,107
{BOTH LAUGHING}
805
00:48:29,383 --> 00:48:32,352
GREG: It's times like
these that make me realize
806
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:35,546
Rowley's pretty lucky
to have me as a friend.
807
00:48:38,126 --> 00:48:41,391
ROWLEY: And I got Twisted
Wizard Two, and a new bike!
808
00:48:42,163 --> 00:48:46,361
And we're going to take a family trip
to New York City for New Year's Eve!
809
00:48:46,434 --> 00:48:50,427
- What did you get? - My dad
got me a weight-lifting set.
810
00:48:50,505 --> 00:48:53,474
Do you know how many video
games I could've gotten instead?
811
00:48:53,541 --> 00:48:57,534
I had to get out of there before
he expected me to, like, use it.
812
00:48:57,845 --> 00:49:01,008
Anyway, let's play some Twisted
Wizard Two at your house.
813
00:49:01,082 --> 00:49:04,745
Probably not a good idea. My
dad's still annoyed at you.
814
00:49:05,153 --> 00:49:06,313
For what?
815
00:49:06,521 --> 00:49:09,251
Remember that secret
language we made up last week?
816
00:49:10,258 --> 00:49:14,024
Your-pa dad-pa smells-pa
like-pa a woman-pa.
817
00:49:14,362 --> 00:49:15,590
{BOTH LAUGHING}
818
00:49:17,131 --> 00:49:19,395
I think he cracked our code.
819
00:49:19,467 --> 00:49:21,492
We should probably do something outside.
820
00:49:23,638 --> 00:49:26,539
ROWLEY: Why can't you ride
and I throw at you first?
821
00:49:26,974 --> 00:49:29,374
My legs kind of hurt
from walking over here.
822
00:49:29,844 --> 00:49:30,833
{SIGHS}
823
00:49:39,153 --> 00:49:40,211
{SCREAMING}
824
00:49:42,023 --> 00:49:43,012
{GRUNTS}
825
00:49:46,294 --> 00:49:49,388
Okay, Rowley. Come on. Get up.
826
00:49:49,530 --> 00:49:50,554
{ROWLEY GROANING}
827
00:49:50,631 --> 00:49:52,223
Shake it off.
828
00:49:53,568 --> 00:49:57,561
Are you sure the doctor was right? It
really didn't look that broken to me.
829
00:49:57,638 --> 00:50:02,098
Yeah, it's broken.
The X-ray never lies.
830
00:50:04,312 --> 00:50:08,305
- Oh, my gosh. What happened?
- I broke it.
831
00:50:08,382 --> 00:50:10,509
- SHELLY: How?
- Big Wheel accident.
832
00:50:12,153 --> 00:50:13,814
You're funny.
833
00:50:13,888 --> 00:50:15,719
- Can I sign your cast?
- Me, too.
834
00:50:15,790 --> 00:50:18,224
- I wanna sign it, too.
- Why, sure.
835
00:50:18,559 --> 00:50:21,084
Hey, I'm the one who broke his hand.
836
00:50:21,829 --> 00:50:23,558
Then you're a jerk.
837
00:50:24,398 --> 00:50:26,161
- {WHISPERS} Sorry.
- GIRL: Does it hurt?
838
00:50:26,367 --> 00:50:27,459
{EXCLAIMS}
839
00:50:29,804 --> 00:50:31,795
SHELLY: Rowley, you're so funny.
840
00:50:33,407 --> 00:50:35,705
- After I stood
- GREG: I couldn't believe it!
841
00:50:35,776 --> 00:50:40,338
Rowley was eating at an actual
table because of something I did!
842
00:50:41,115 --> 00:50:42,844
Where's my credit?
843
00:50:43,217 --> 00:50:46,812
And he's right handed! He
can feed himself just fine.
844
00:50:49,757 --> 00:50:52,885
So, how's that class favorite
thing working out for you?
845
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:54,222
Great.
846
00:51:09,510 --> 00:51:10,499
{WHOOPING}
847
00:51:11,178 --> 00:51:14,841
I realized Rowley's injury
thing was a pretty good racket.
848
00:51:15,983 --> 00:51:17,075
{SCHOOL BELL RINGING}
849
00:51:18,953 --> 00:51:22,354
- MARLEY: It's gonna be so much fun.
- Hey, guys. Check it out.
850
00:51:22,857 --> 00:51:24,654
Oh, my gosh, what happened?
851
00:51:24,725 --> 00:51:28,991
It's a raging infection caused by
a splinter that was left untreated.
852
00:51:29,397 --> 00:51:32,457
Want to be the first to
sign my sympathy sheet?
853
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:33,824
No.
854
00:51:37,138 --> 00:51:41,268
I'll sign it, Greg Heffley, if
you'd let me look at your infection.
855
00:51:45,646 --> 00:51:49,241
ROWLEY: And on the X-ray, you could see
where the bone just snapped right in half.
856
00:51:49,317 --> 00:51:53,014
I had the exact same break last
year, and it got all purple!
857
00:51:53,154 --> 00:51:56,920
- ROWLEY: Cool! Mine, too!
- Hey, Gregory, want to sign the card?
858
00:51:57,325 --> 00:51:59,293
You got Rowley a card?
859
00:51:59,460 --> 00:52:02,088
What? No, it's for Bryan Little.
860
00:52:02,163 --> 00:52:04,495
You know, the guy who writes
the Wacky Dawg cartoons
861
00:52:04,565 --> 00:52:06,328
for the school paper?
862
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:09,927
He has mono and he's going
to be out for three months.
863
00:52:10,404 --> 00:52:12,429
That really stinks.
864
00:52:12,506 --> 00:52:16,237
So, just out of curiosity,
who's gonna do the cartoon?
865
00:52:16,577 --> 00:52:20,809
They're having tryouts, but the
important thing is Bryan gets better.
866
00:52:21,115 --> 00:52:22,480
Absolutely.
867
00:52:24,552 --> 00:52:27,112
GREG: Bryan Little
getting mono was destiny.
868
00:52:27,254 --> 00:52:30,712
I draw cartoons all the
time. I'm gonna win this.
869
00:52:40,968 --> 00:52:45,166
I decided to go ahead and forgive Rowley
for milking the broken hand so hard
870
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:48,208
and I told him he could
work on the cartoon with me.
871
00:52:49,076 --> 00:52:52,341
So, I was thinking we could
do something like this!
872
00:52:52,646 --> 00:52:54,841
Oops, I stepped in a puddle!
873
00:52:54,915 --> 00:52:57,349
At least it's not an acid puddle.
874
00:52:57,485 --> 00:52:59,919
Oy, oy, oy! It is an acid puddle!
875
00:52:59,987 --> 00:53:01,545
Zoo-wee Mama!
876
00:53:03,324 --> 00:53:05,087
Zoo-wee Mama!
877
00:53:06,794 --> 00:53:09,194
It's the same joke every time.
878
00:53:09,263 --> 00:53:11,823
Yeah! Zoo-wee Mama!
879
00:53:12,767 --> 00:53:15,235
We can't just do the
same thing over and over.
880
00:53:15,302 --> 00:53:17,099
We can if it's Zoo-wee Mama.
881
00:53:17,171 --> 00:53:20,140
It has to be a little
more sophisticated.
882
00:53:20,474 --> 00:53:23,375
GREG: {IMITATES CREIGHTON} I wonder
what is in this cute little box.
883
00:53:23,477 --> 00:53:26,002
GREG: {IMITATES CREIGHTON'S FRIEND} It's
not a box, it's a brick, you dumb moron.
884
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:29,106
GREG: {IMITATES CREIGHTON} Oops!
I've been trying to open it all day!
885
00:53:31,986 --> 00:53:36,150
- Can he say, "Zoo-wee
Mama"? - No, it's not funny.
886
00:53:36,257 --> 00:53:39,158
Well, I think it is.
I like Zoo-wee Mama.
887
00:53:39,293 --> 00:53:43,923
You know what? If you like it so much,
then why don't you go do it yourself?
888
00:53:47,134 --> 00:53:50,433
Okay. I will.
889
00:53:51,806 --> 00:53:53,034
See you.
890
00:54:01,282 --> 00:54:02,408
{SCHOOL BELL RINGING}
891
00:54:03,984 --> 00:54:07,920
Hey, I forgot my raincoat, so I'm gonna
need you to walk the kids home today.
892
00:54:07,988 --> 00:54:12,652
I can't. I can't get my cast
wet. You can borrow my coat.
893
00:54:16,964 --> 00:54:18,955
GIRL: Where's Rowley?
894
00:54:19,166 --> 00:54:22,693
- He couldn't get his cast wet!
- He walks us better!
895
00:54:29,743 --> 00:54:30,903
Oh, no.
896
00:54:36,517 --> 00:54:38,712
Oh, my gosh! Space monsters!
897
00:54:38,953 --> 00:54:43,014
They're going to eat us, unless
we can get into that hole!
898
00:54:43,190 --> 00:54:46,523
Come on, people, move it! Now,
people! We're gonna get eaten!
899
00:54:46,594 --> 00:54:49,358
Come on! Don't worry!
I'm right behind you!
900
00:54:49,430 --> 00:54:50,795
- Whoa!
- Go!
901
00:55:03,077 --> 00:55:04,203
Hey!
902
00:55:05,145 --> 00:55:07,579
Rowley Jefferson, is that you?
903
00:55:08,816 --> 00:55:11,307
Yes, Mrs. Irvine!
904
00:55:15,089 --> 00:55:16,613
Sorry, kids!
905
00:55:24,765 --> 00:55:26,756
Are you going to eat us?
906
00:55:27,835 --> 00:55:32,238
And though doctors assure us that
Mrs. Cheznik is no longer contagious,
907
00:55:32,306 --> 00:55:36,675
the cafeteria nachos bar will be
closed for the remainder of the week.
908
00:55:37,044 --> 00:55:39,410
And now, what you've
all been waiting for.
909
00:55:39,580 --> 00:55:43,573
The faculty, Student Council
and editors have all met
910
00:55:43,651 --> 00:55:47,052
and selected the new
cartoonist for the school paper.
911
00:55:47,988 --> 00:55:53,324
And the winner is "Zoo-wee
Mama" by Rowley Jefferson!
912
00:55:54,228 --> 00:55:55,456
{ALL CHEERING}
913
00:55:58,198 --> 00:56:00,598
- What?
- That is funny!
914
00:56:01,502 --> 00:56:02,867
BOY: Great job.
915
00:56:04,204 --> 00:56:06,832
- Zoo-wee Mama. - GREG:
I couldn't believe it.
916
00:56:08,142 --> 00:56:10,508
Am I the only one who gets comedy?
917
00:56:10,578 --> 00:56:13,445
- Rowley, will you put me in your cartoon?
- Sure.
918
00:56:13,514 --> 00:56:16,506
And me, too. I want to be the
one who says, "Zoo-wee Mama."
919
00:56:16,584 --> 00:56:19,382
- You got it!
- Hey, Rowley, congratulations.
920
00:56:19,453 --> 00:56:20,613
- Thanks.
- No problem.
921
00:56:20,688 --> 00:56:23,521
You know, I read all the submissions
and yours was by far the best.
922
00:56:23,591 --> 00:56:25,354
I read yours, too.
923
00:56:25,859 --> 00:56:27,793
- BRYCE: Hey, Rowley.
- Hey, Bryce.
924
00:56:28,128 --> 00:56:31,825
- Yeah, hey, Bryce.
- Hey, fella.
925
00:56:32,700 --> 00:56:35,635
Wow. Everyone knows me now.
926
00:56:36,203 --> 00:56:40,936
- It's like I'm famous! Isn't this great?
- Yeah.
927
00:56:41,208 --> 00:56:45,201
Rowley Jefferson? I need to
see you in my office, now.
928
00:56:50,417 --> 00:56:52,214
{SCHOOL BELL RINGING}
929
00:56:56,890 --> 00:56:58,881
MR. WINSKY: I just took
a call from a Mrs. Irvine
930
00:56:58,959 --> 00:57:01,621
about what happened to the
kindergarteners last week.
931
00:57:01,695 --> 00:57:04,459
She was very upset. And so am I.
932
00:57:05,332 --> 00:57:08,426
- What?
- You violated the sacred trust.
933
00:57:09,670 --> 00:57:10,932
This
934
00:57:13,307 --> 00:57:17,243
This badge is supposed to mean
something, and you just spat on it.
935
00:57:17,311 --> 00:57:19,336
I can barely even look at you.
936
00:57:19,413 --> 00:57:21,745
- I really don't
- Just save it.
937
00:57:21,949 --> 00:57:25,043
You are officially
suspended from Safety Patrol.
938
00:57:25,486 --> 00:57:28,751
And I expect a full apology
to the kindergarteners.
939
00:57:29,556 --> 00:57:30,853
Yes, sir.
940
00:57:39,767 --> 00:57:44,204
- Hey. What did he have to say?
- I'm kicked off.
941
00:57:44,772 --> 00:57:46,933
I don't even know what
he's talking about.
942
00:57:50,077 --> 00:57:51,305
Rowley?
943
00:57:53,380 --> 00:57:56,349
- What?
- Nothing.
944
00:58:12,533 --> 00:58:16,560
You've been home for an hour and
haven't badgered me for any snacks.
945
00:58:16,637 --> 00:58:18,434
Are you feeling okay?
946
00:58:19,673 --> 00:58:23,370
Well, I'm kind of in a tough situation.
947
00:58:24,311 --> 00:58:25,903
I know something
948
00:58:25,979 --> 00:58:29,073
and if I tell the truth about
it, it could hurt somebody.
949
00:58:29,149 --> 00:58:32,277
But if I don't, it
could hurt somebody else.
950
00:58:32,352 --> 00:58:37,688
Well, you have to trust your gut
and try to do the right thing,
951
00:58:39,293 --> 00:58:43,957
because it's our choices
that make us who we are.
952
00:58:46,533 --> 00:58:47,659
Okay.
953
00:58:51,605 --> 00:58:53,038
GREG: I was up all night,
tossing and turning,
954
00:58:53,107 --> 00:58:55,507
thinking about my mom 's advice.
955
00:58:55,576 --> 00:58:58,511
And I finally decided
to do the right thing.
956
00:58:59,813 --> 00:59:02,509
I'm sorry I terrorized you, children.
957
00:59:03,250 --> 00:59:04,410
What?
958
00:59:05,152 --> 00:59:08,553
I decided to let Rowley
take one for the team.
959
00:59:11,759 --> 00:59:15,923
But I'm not entirely sure
that was the right call.
960
00:59:24,471 --> 00:59:25,938
Hey, how's it going?
961
00:59:26,006 --> 00:59:30,067
Well, I was pretty upset about
being suspended from Safety Patrol,
962
00:59:30,144 --> 00:59:34,205
but then I just started drawing a bunch
of Zoo-wee Mamas and I felt better.
963
00:59:34,281 --> 00:59:37,250
Look. I put you in this week's cartoon.
964
00:59:37,384 --> 00:59:40,182
And you even get to
say, "Zoo-wee Mama."
965
00:59:40,788 --> 00:59:43,313
Wow. That's really
966
00:59:46,260 --> 00:59:47,420
nice.
967
00:59:48,729 --> 00:59:50,594
So, listen.
968
00:59:50,664 --> 00:59:54,191
It's kind of funny, you know,
the whole Safety Patrol thing.
969
00:59:54,268 --> 00:59:55,360
Yeah?
970
00:59:56,036 --> 00:59:57,867
Ready for the funny part?
971
00:59:57,938 --> 01:00:01,339
Well, I'm the one who
terrorized those kids!
972
01:00:04,178 --> 01:00:05,941
- What?
- Yeah,
973
01:00:06,013 --> 01:00:08,880
and I think we can both learn
some valuable lessons from this.
974
01:00:08,949 --> 01:00:13,318
Like, I should be more careful what
I do in front of Mrs. Irvine's house.
975
01:00:13,387 --> 01:00:15,446
And you, well,
976
01:00:16,557 --> 01:00:18,923
you should be more careful
who you lend your coat to.
977
01:00:22,429 --> 01:00:25,921
You know what, Greg?
You're not a good friend.
978
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:30,593
Whoa. How could you even
say that? I'm a great friend.
979
01:00:30,671 --> 01:00:33,834
If you were a great friend, you
would have told Mr. Winsky the truth.
980
01:00:33,907 --> 01:00:36,637
Okay, one thing. You
can't get mad about just
981
01:00:36,710 --> 01:00:39,304
You only care about yourself.
982
01:00:39,646 --> 01:00:41,546
You hated my cartoon.
983
01:00:42,616 --> 01:00:46,313
You made fun of my clothes.
You disrespected Joshie.
984
01:00:46,553 --> 01:00:49,989
You broke my hand and you
didn't even seem sorry.
985
01:00:50,057 --> 01:00:52,753
That broken hand was the best
thing that ever happened to you!
986
01:00:54,528 --> 01:00:56,155
Don't call me.
987
01:00:56,864 --> 01:01:00,197
Don't come by my house. We're done.
988
01:01:18,285 --> 01:01:20,378
I thought the whole
thing would blow over.
989
01:01:20,454 --> 01:01:23,480
But Rowley was still giving
me the silent treatment.
990
01:01:23,557 --> 01:01:26,754
- Even when I tried to make the first move.
- Yeah.
991
01:01:31,198 --> 01:01:34,895
ROWLEY: So, anyway, I was so angry
at him, I didn't know what to say.
992
01:01:36,136 --> 01:01:40,436
MR. WINSKY: One of the kindergarteners
finally told their parents the whole story.
993
01:01:41,541 --> 01:01:46,035
Greg? You're relieved of your Safety
Patrol duties, effective immediately.
994
01:01:47,247 --> 01:01:48,612
Rowley,
995
01:01:49,816 --> 01:01:53,775
for showing dignity under false
suspicion, I am promoting you
996
01:01:54,655 --> 01:01:55,781
to team captain.
997
01:01:57,958 --> 01:02:02,452
Now, that's a position that I held
for two years. I know you'll honor it.
998
01:02:12,673 --> 01:02:15,471
{¶¶ YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
BE MY FRIEND PLAYING ¶¶}
999
01:02:23,383 --> 01:02:24,611
¶¶ Okay
1000
01:02:26,687 --> 01:02:30,453
¶¶ You're supposed to be my friend
1001
01:02:30,524 --> 01:02:33,925
¶¶ We're supposed to get along
1002
01:02:33,994 --> 01:02:38,363
¶¶ Hey, you're supposed to be my friend
1003
01:02:38,498 --> 01:02:41,763
Hey, Rowley, my mom says it's
okay for me to sleep over tonight.
1004
01:02:41,835 --> 01:02:43,166
Awesome!
1005
01:02:44,371 --> 01:02:48,364
GREG: The whole thing with Rowley is,
I was willing to let bygones be bygones.
1006
01:02:48,442 --> 01:02:50,967
But then he made friends with
Collin just to mess with me.
1007
01:02:51,044 --> 01:02:52,602
As if I even care if he
1008
01:02:55,716 --> 01:02:57,741
Well, you know what?
1009
01:02:58,085 --> 01:02:59,780
Two can play at that game.
1010
01:03:00,654 --> 01:03:04,488
There's no going back, Sergeant.
I need to board the helicopter.
1011
01:03:04,558 --> 01:03:06,458
Do you have my back?
1012
01:03:06,526 --> 01:03:08,926
I will always have your back, Captain.
1013
01:03:08,996 --> 01:03:12,659
¶¶ Yeah, maybe I'll meet
up with some friends
1014
01:03:12,733 --> 01:03:16,567
¶¶ Yeah, maybe I'll meet up with some dogs
1015
01:03:16,636 --> 01:03:18,797
¶¶ 'Cause you're supposed to be
1016
01:03:18,872 --> 01:03:20,271
¶¶ You're supposed to be
1017
01:03:20,340 --> 01:03:22,672
¶¶ Supposed to be my friend
1018
01:03:22,743 --> 01:03:25,940
¶¶ You're supposed to be my friend now
1019
01:03:29,850 --> 01:03:32,318
- Hey.
- Hey, Greg Heffley.
1020
01:03:35,022 --> 01:03:39,254
So, I was thinking maybe you
might want to have a sleepover?
1021
01:03:40,427 --> 01:03:42,486
Yeah. With who?
1022
01:03:43,597 --> 01:03:44,791
Me.
1023
01:03:45,132 --> 01:03:48,795
- Yeah, when?
- Now.
1024
01:03:50,003 --> 01:03:52,028
Greg Heffley, I love you!
1025
01:03:52,105 --> 01:03:54,232
We are going to be best friends forever!
1026
01:03:55,776 --> 01:03:58,176
Wanna have a tickle fight?
1027
01:04:02,315 --> 01:04:04,840
Okay. Let's get inside.
1028
01:04:07,521 --> 01:04:09,250
FREGLEY: I can't believe it!
1029
01:04:09,556 --> 01:04:13,617
Greg Heffley's in my room! Greg
Heffley's in my room, Rebecca.
1030
01:04:13,927 --> 01:04:16,862
What do you want to do, Greg
Heffley? How about Twister?
1031
01:04:16,930 --> 01:04:19,797
GREG: I'm not really that
much of a Twister guy.
1032
01:04:20,767 --> 01:04:22,029
- Candy!
- Wait!
1033
01:04:22,102 --> 01:04:24,468
No, no, no! Fregley, come on! Really!
1034
01:04:24,671 --> 01:04:26,502
I really think we should
save those for later!
1035
01:04:26,573 --> 01:04:29,701
- Maybe we should go outside and
- My mom doesn't let me have sugar.
1036
01:04:29,776 --> 01:04:33,405
She says high glucose in my
diet induces hyperactivity.
1037
01:04:34,815 --> 01:04:36,646
But it's so good!
1038
01:04:37,150 --> 01:04:38,811
Greg Heffley, you want to jumpety-jump?
1039
01:04:38,885 --> 01:04:40,614
Yeah, you know what,
Fregley? I just remembered,
1040
01:04:40,687 --> 01:04:43,178
I have an appointment, a
really important appointment.
1041
01:04:43,256 --> 01:04:47,215
It's a homework appointment.
Yeah, and I really should be going.
1042
01:04:50,430 --> 01:04:51,761
Get away from me!
1043
01:04:51,832 --> 01:04:52,821
{EXCLAIMING}
1044
01:04:54,568 --> 01:04:57,264
I can fly! Whoa.
1045
01:04:57,504 --> 01:04:59,495
How fun, Greg Heffley!
1046
01:04:59,973 --> 01:05:04,433
Greg? Greg, Greg, Greg,
Greg, Greg? Greg? Greg?
1047
01:05:04,511 --> 01:05:05,808
{BANGING ON DOOR}
1048
01:05:06,079 --> 01:05:08,673
I hear you breathing, Greg Heffley.
1049
01:05:35,342 --> 01:05:36,900
FREGLEY: Dear Gregory,
1050
01:05:37,110 --> 01:05:40,602
I'm very sorry I chased you
with a booger on my finger.
1051
01:05:41,081 --> 01:05:44,380
Here, I put it on this
paper so you can get me back.
1052
01:05:58,131 --> 01:05:59,291
What?
1053
01:06:03,737 --> 01:06:05,136
All right.
1054
01:06:06,239 --> 01:06:10,869
GREG: Okay, enough. I'll
show Rowley I don't need him.
1055
01:06:10,944 --> 01:06:13,572
When he sees me in the
yearbook as Most Talented,
1056
01:06:13,647 --> 01:06:15,274
he's gonna come running back.
1057
01:06:17,851 --> 01:06:21,787
Okay, since there are so
many of you here auditioning,
1058
01:06:21,855 --> 01:06:26,656
to save time, we're gonna do a group
sing of one of my favorite songs.
1059
01:06:26,726 --> 01:06:29,524
Please refer to the
lyrics on this handout.
1060
01:06:29,596 --> 01:06:33,225
I will pick out the best voices
and place you accordingly.
1061
01:06:36,770 --> 01:06:38,635
{¶¶ ALL SINGING OUT OF TUNE ¶¶}
1062
01:07:14,474 --> 01:07:16,533
{¶¶ GREG SINGING MELODIOUSLY ¶¶}
1063
01:07:23,550 --> 01:07:24,539
{SCOFFS}
1064
01:07:35,729 --> 01:07:40,928
Greg Heffley, what a lovely
soprano voice you have. I'm stunned!
1065
01:07:41,868 --> 01:07:43,768
Maybe you should be Dorothy!
1066
01:07:47,707 --> 01:07:49,732
- No, no, I can't be
- No!
1067
01:07:50,143 --> 01:07:53,408
Greg Heffley was suspended
from the school Safety Patrol!
1068
01:07:53,480 --> 01:07:57,075
How can you trust him with
the lead role in the play?
1069
01:07:57,183 --> 01:07:59,378
He can't be Dorothy! I'm Dorothy!
1070
01:07:59,452 --> 01:08:02,683
- All right, Patty, calm down.
- I'm Dorothy! I am!
1071
01:08:02,956 --> 01:08:06,289
My mother is the president of the P.T.A.
1072
01:08:06,359 --> 01:08:08,554
She can ruin your life!
1073
01:08:09,296 --> 01:08:10,854
Just an idea.
1074
01:08:10,930 --> 01:08:11,919
{SCOFFS}
1075
01:08:12,065 --> 01:08:16,502
All right, well, Greg, your voice is
too high for any of the other male roles.
1076
01:08:16,569 --> 01:08:18,594
Perhaps you can be a tree!
1077
01:08:18,872 --> 01:08:21,966
A tree? No way.
1078
01:08:24,077 --> 01:08:25,066
{SCOFFS}
1079
01:08:28,748 --> 01:08:31,876
{WHISPERS} The trees get to
throw apples at Patty Farrell.
1080
01:08:32,719 --> 01:08:34,812
Haven't you seen the movie?
1081
01:08:35,055 --> 01:08:36,283
{PATTY BLOWING KISSES}
1082
01:08:44,831 --> 01:08:47,129
Wait, we don't get arm holes?
1083
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:49,600
How are we gonna throw apples
at Dorothy without arm holes?
1084
01:08:49,669 --> 01:08:52,900
You don't need arm holes because
nobody's throwing any apples.
1085
01:08:52,972 --> 01:08:56,738
We're not doing the movie.
In my version, the trees sing.
1086
01:08:56,810 --> 01:08:58,505
These, my dear.
1087
01:08:58,611 --> 01:09:02,672
{ALL SINGING} Down
the winding yellow road
1088
01:09:02,749 --> 01:09:06,776
¶¶ Doth she know to where it goes
1089
01:09:06,886 --> 01:09:10,447
¶¶ With her dog so small and true
1090
01:09:10,523 --> 01:09:13,083
¶¶ We hope she fares well
1091
01:09:13,159 --> 01:09:17,323
¶¶ Yes, we do
1092
01:09:17,424 --> 01:09:18,924
{CLAPPING}
1093
01:09:21,167 --> 01:09:22,156
{SCREAMING}
1094
01:09:23,002 --> 01:09:26,130
ARCHIE: My tooth! I think
I knocked out my tooth!
1095
01:09:26,206 --> 01:09:28,697
Perhaps we should cut
out some arm holes.
1096
01:09:28,775 --> 01:09:30,709
- GIRL: Is he okay?
- You think?
1097
01:09:36,216 --> 01:09:37,444
{AUDIENCE CHEERING}
1098
01:09:44,090 --> 01:09:47,617
Isn't this exciting?
Your son's in a play.
1099
01:09:47,694 --> 01:09:51,323
Yeah, sure. It's not wrestling, but
1100
01:09:54,234 --> 01:09:56,065
- But at least it's something.
- PATTY: Come on, Toto.
1101
01:09:56,136 --> 01:10:00,004
Let us explore this magical path!
1102
01:10:00,106 --> 01:10:01,095
{BARKING}
1103
01:10:07,347 --> 01:10:08,473
Bubby!
1104
01:10:08,548 --> 01:10:09,708
{AUDIENCE LAUGHING}
1105
01:10:09,783 --> 01:10:12,251
Bubby! Bubby!
1106
01:10:12,318 --> 01:10:13,876
Bubby.
1107
01:10:16,656 --> 01:10:19,887
Hey, Bubby, I think
you dropped an apple.
1108
01:10:19,993 --> 01:10:20,982
Huh?
1109
01:10:24,464 --> 01:10:28,127
{SINGING} ¶¶ We three
trees from yonder glen
1110
01:10:28,201 --> 01:10:32,797
¶¶ Do spy a fair and sweet maiden
1111
01:10:32,872 --> 01:10:36,433
¶¶ Whilst we're rooted to our spots
1112
01:10:36,509 --> 01:10:41,071
¶¶ In silver slippers she doth trot
1113
01:10:41,214 --> 01:10:44,809
¶¶ Down the winding yellow road
1114
01:10:44,884 --> 01:10:45,873
Oh, yes.
1115
01:10:45,952 --> 01:10:49,251
¶¶ Doth she know to where it goes
1116
01:10:49,322 --> 01:10:50,448
You're dead.
1117
01:10:50,523 --> 01:10:53,185
¶¶ With her dog so small and true
1118
01:10:53,259 --> 01:10:55,557
¶¶ We hope she fares well
1119
01:10:55,628 --> 01:10:59,724
¶¶ Yes, we do
1120
01:10:59,799 --> 01:11:02,427
¶¶ We three trees from
1121
01:11:08,007 --> 01:11:09,736
From yonder glen!
1122
01:11:09,809 --> 01:11:13,245
Wish her joy through journey's end!
1123
01:11:16,516 --> 01:11:17,915
Sing!
1124
01:11:19,419 --> 01:11:20,750
Sing!
1125
01:11:22,222 --> 01:11:24,656
- Sing!
- BOY: This bites!
1126
01:11:25,325 --> 01:11:26,849
PATTY: Come on, Greg Heffley!
1127
01:11:26,926 --> 01:11:30,362
Stop ruining the play like
you ruin everything else!
1128
01:11:31,364 --> 01:11:35,198
Don't make me come over
there and beat you up again!
1129
01:11:35,268 --> 01:11:36,257
{EXCLAIMS ANGRILY}
1130
01:11:40,073 --> 01:11:41,267
{YELLING}
1131
01:11:41,708 --> 01:11:42,697
{GRUNTS}
1132
01:11:48,781 --> 01:11:50,078
Eat this!
1133
01:11:50,817 --> 01:11:52,512
Eat this!
1134
01:11:56,890 --> 01:11:57,879
Wow.
1135
01:12:08,301 --> 01:12:09,290
{LAUGHS}
1136
01:12:09,402 --> 01:12:10,391
{GROANS}
1137
01:12:12,906 --> 01:12:14,737
FRANK: What'd you think? I thought
he was the best one up there.
1138
01:12:14,807 --> 01:12:17,605
- Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
- You know, I'm
1139
01:12:19,045 --> 01:12:20,034
{SIGHS}
1140
01:12:24,484 --> 01:12:26,679
I thought Dorothy deserved it.
1141
01:12:28,721 --> 01:12:30,245
Thanks, Dad.
1142
01:12:31,291 --> 01:12:33,759
FRANK: You got some good shots in there.
1143
01:12:38,097 --> 01:12:39,086
{DOOR OPENING}
1144
01:12:40,433 --> 01:12:42,697
Look what I found in the trash.
1145
01:12:42,769 --> 01:12:44,430
Guess you threw it away by accident.
1146
01:12:45,071 --> 01:12:46,265
Give it back, Rodrick!
1147
01:12:46,339 --> 01:12:48,239
No way! You want it?
1148
01:12:48,308 --> 01:12:50,208
Come and get it then! Come on.
1149
01:12:50,276 --> 01:12:51,971
- Give it!
- Come on!
1150
01:12:52,045 --> 01:12:54,309
Use your muscular legs!
No, you can't have it.
1151
01:12:54,380 --> 01:12:55,870
- Okay, okay, boys!
- Give it back!
1152
01:12:55,949 --> 01:12:57,211
- Hold on, don't you want it?
- Okay!
1153
01:12:57,283 --> 01:12:58,716
It's for you.
1154
01:12:59,519 --> 01:13:00,543
{GASPS}
1155
01:13:00,620 --> 01:13:03,680
It's an invitation for the
Mother and Son Sweetheart Dance.
1156
01:13:03,756 --> 01:13:04,780
{SIGHS}
1157
01:13:04,857 --> 01:13:06,848
I knew you didn't want to miss that.
1158
01:13:06,926 --> 01:13:08,518
It looks like a lot of fun.
1159
01:13:08,595 --> 01:13:11,564
I think you should go. I
think it'd be a lot of fun.
1160
01:13:11,631 --> 01:13:14,828
GREG: Fun? That's the
exact opposite of fun!
1161
01:13:16,002 --> 01:13:19,802
This entire year has been
terrible and nobody even cares!
1162
01:13:19,872 --> 01:13:22,238
My family, my best friend.
1163
01:13:22,842 --> 01:13:26,107
Well, I'm sick of it.
Somebody needs to pay.
1164
01:13:31,184 --> 01:13:35,518
Okay, Manny, I'm putting this
Tootsie Roll in Rodrick's backpack.
1165
01:13:36,089 --> 01:13:40,753
It's for Rodrick, so whatever you
do, don't touch the Tootsie Roll.
1166
01:13:41,995 --> 01:13:42,984
Mmm-hmm.
1167
01:13:46,165 --> 01:13:49,259
Greg? Coaster. Where's he
1168
01:13:51,437 --> 01:13:54,565
Manny? Where did you get that?
1169
01:14:01,748 --> 01:14:04,216
Oh, my. That's offensive.
1170
01:14:05,284 --> 01:14:06,717
{¶¶ PLAYING HEAVY METAL MUSIC ¶¶}
1171
01:14:12,725 --> 01:14:15,023
Rodrick? Rodrick!
1172
01:14:16,429 --> 01:14:18,989
I need to talk to you inside! Now!
1173
01:14:19,632 --> 01:14:23,193
Go ahead and talk. We're a
band and we have no secrets.
1174
01:14:23,269 --> 01:14:25,999
Okay, fine. What is this?
1175
01:14:28,641 --> 01:14:31,166
- It's not mine.
- It was in your backpack.
1176
01:14:31,310 --> 01:14:33,437
No, it was in my room.
1177
01:14:34,580 --> 01:14:35,569
{EXCLAIMS}
1178
01:14:36,082 --> 01:14:39,347
Does owning this magazine
make you a better person?
1179
01:14:40,553 --> 01:14:43,317
- No.
- Did it make you more popular at school?
1180
01:14:43,389 --> 01:14:44,651
{LAUGHING} Yes!
1181
01:14:45,391 --> 01:14:46,688
No.
1182
01:14:46,759 --> 01:14:51,560
How do you feel about having
owned this type of magazine?
1183
01:14:53,166 --> 01:14:55,031
- Ashamed!
- BAND MATE: Nice.
1184
01:14:55,101 --> 01:14:56,090
Hmm.
1185
01:14:58,504 --> 01:15:02,065
Do you have anything
you wanna say to women
1186
01:15:02,141 --> 01:15:06,043
for having owned this
offensive magazine?
1187
01:15:07,613 --> 01:15:08,978
I'm sorry, women.
1188
01:15:09,148 --> 01:15:11,810
- Yeah, women.
- Yeah.
1189
01:15:14,454 --> 01:15:17,651
You're grounded for two weeks.
1190
01:15:17,957 --> 01:15:21,085
Okay, settle down, Susan!
I think one week is plenty!
1191
01:15:21,160 --> 01:15:24,891
Make it four weeks and I'm
gonna need the keys to your van!
1192
01:15:25,364 --> 01:15:26,524
My van?
1193
01:15:27,633 --> 01:15:30,193
Yeah! Yeah.
1194
01:15:32,038 --> 01:15:33,198
Yeah.
1195
01:15:35,374 --> 01:15:36,671
ROWLEY: Hello?
1196
01:15:38,077 --> 01:15:39,305
Hello?
1197
01:15:45,618 --> 01:15:47,483
{¶¶ LE FREAKPLAYING ¶¶}
1198
01:15:52,658 --> 01:15:54,455
PHOTOGRAPHER: All right, smile.
1199
01:15:54,794 --> 01:15:57,763
Look at this place! Wanna dance?
1200
01:15:58,431 --> 01:16:00,991
Mom, stop dancing.
You're embarrassing me.
1201
01:16:01,067 --> 01:16:04,230
Come on. I'm just
keeping time to the music.
1202
01:16:04,303 --> 01:16:06,863
I'm begging you, please stop it.
1203
01:16:06,939 --> 01:16:08,873
Okay, okay, okay.
1204
01:16:10,977 --> 01:16:12,171
Thanks, honey.
1205
01:16:13,379 --> 01:16:14,641
Hi!
1206
01:16:14,714 --> 01:16:19,276
Well, if we're not here to dance,
maybe you should go talk to Rowley.
1207
01:16:20,086 --> 01:16:22,611
I think it's time you two made up.
1208
01:16:23,055 --> 01:16:24,317
I can't.
1209
01:16:25,091 --> 01:16:29,289
Sweetheart, he's your best friend.
1210
01:16:30,029 --> 01:16:33,556
And sometimes, when somebody's worth it,
1211
01:16:33,633 --> 01:16:36,067
you just have to put yourself out there.
1212
01:16:38,704 --> 01:16:40,831
I wouldn't know what to say.
1213
01:16:41,240 --> 01:16:44,471
Well, I could go for an
ice cream after the dance.
1214
01:16:44,544 --> 01:16:47,138
Maybe you could invite him to join us.
1215
01:16:47,313 --> 01:16:48,371
Yeah.
1216
01:16:54,687 --> 01:16:56,120
Hey, Rowley.
1217
01:16:58,057 --> 01:16:59,183
Hey.
1218
01:16:59,525 --> 01:17:03,188
So you want to go get
some ice cream after?
1219
01:17:03,529 --> 01:17:06,464
I'm sorry. We already have plans.
1220
01:17:08,034 --> 01:17:10,628
Yeah. We do.
1221
01:17:12,471 --> 01:17:17,067
Oh, fine. My mom wanted
me to ask. So I did.
1222
01:17:17,510 --> 01:17:19,603
I didn't even want to go.
1223
01:17:28,588 --> 01:17:29,782
Well?
1224
01:17:33,626 --> 01:17:35,594
Honey, I'm sorry.
1225
01:17:36,229 --> 01:17:38,197
{¶¶ INTERGALACTIC PLAYING ¶¶}
1226
01:17:40,266 --> 01:17:41,494
Yeah!
1227
01:17:53,246 --> 01:17:56,647
{SINGING} ¶¶ Well, now,
don't you tell me to smile
1228
01:17:56,716 --> 01:17:58,581
¶¶ You stick around I'll
make it worth your while
1229
01:17:58,651 --> 01:18:01,176
¶¶ Got numbers beyond what you can dial
1230
01:18:01,254 --> 01:18:03,415
¶¶ Maybe it's because I'm so versatile
1231
01:18:03,489 --> 01:18:05,719
¶¶ Style profile, I said
1232
01:18:05,791 --> 01:18:07,986
¶¶ It always brings me back
when I hear, Ooh, Child
1233
01:18:08,060 --> 01:18:10,187
¶¶ From the Hudson River out to the Nile
1234
01:18:10,263 --> 01:18:12,390
¶¶ I run the marathon
till the very last mile
1235
01:18:12,465 --> 01:18:14,831
¶¶ If you battle me I will revile
1236
01:18:14,901 --> 01:18:16,994
¶¶ People always say my style is wild
1237
01:18:17,069 --> 01:18:19,333
¶¶ You've got gall, you've got guile
1238
01:18:19,405 --> 01:18:21,600
¶¶ To step to me, I'm a rapophile
1239
01:18:21,674 --> 01:18:23,801
¶¶ If you want to battle, you're in denial
1240
01:18:23,876 --> 01:18:26,071
¶¶ Coming from Uranus to check my style
1241
01:18:26,145 --> 01:18:28,340
¶¶ Go ahead, put my rhymes on trial
1242
01:18:28,414 --> 01:18:30,644
¶¶ Cast you off into exile
1243
01:18:42,061 --> 01:18:44,325
GREG: You have got to be kidding me.
1244
01:18:57,710 --> 01:18:59,905
BOY: Hey, what's up? GIRL: Hey.
1245
01:19:09,555 --> 01:19:10,613
Hey.
1246
01:19:12,158 --> 01:19:13,284
Hey.
1247
01:19:14,093 --> 01:19:19,053
So, I left my racing game at your house
and Collin's sleeping over tonight.
1248
01:19:19,131 --> 01:19:20,758
So I need it back.
1249
01:19:21,567 --> 01:19:23,865
What? No way.
1250
01:19:23,936 --> 01:19:25,460
Finders, keepers.
1251
01:19:25,604 --> 01:19:27,834
You didn't find it, I left it.
1252
01:19:28,841 --> 01:19:31,969
Fine, then leavers, losers.
1253
01:19:33,112 --> 01:19:35,205
That's not even a real thing.
1254
01:19:35,281 --> 01:19:36,748
It is if I say it is.
1255
01:19:36,816 --> 01:19:38,374
It's my game.
1256
01:19:38,451 --> 01:19:39,611
Do you know what?
1257
01:19:39,685 --> 01:19:42,711
You wouldn't even have that game
if I hadn't told you about it.
1258
01:19:42,788 --> 01:19:44,653
You wouldn't have half the
stuff you have without me.
1259
01:19:44,724 --> 01:19:47,158
Yeah, like a broken hand!
1260
01:19:48,794 --> 01:19:50,625
That was a million years ago.
1261
01:19:50,696 --> 01:19:52,357
ROWLEY: It clicks now!
1262
01:19:52,965 --> 01:19:55,627
Hear that? Click, click, click, click.
1263
01:19:55,768 --> 01:19:57,565
And it's all your fault!
1264
01:19:57,636 --> 01:19:58,933
It was an accident!
1265
01:19:59,005 --> 01:20:01,838
Kick his butt, Rowley! It's easy.
1266
01:20:02,108 --> 01:20:04,235
Guys, Greg and Rowley are gonna fight.
1267
01:20:04,310 --> 01:20:09,612
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
1268
01:20:09,682 --> 01:20:16,383
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
1269
01:20:26,766 --> 01:20:30,395
PATTY: Come on, what's wrong
with you guys? Start punching!
1270
01:20:32,805 --> 01:20:34,932
- You start.
- You start it.
1271
01:20:35,007 --> 01:20:36,406
No, you!
1272
01:20:37,943 --> 01:20:39,501
Quit copying me!
1273
01:20:40,212 --> 01:20:43,773
This has got to be the worst
fight ever! Do something!
1274
01:20:52,658 --> 01:20:53,784
{ALL EXCLAIM}
1275
01:20:54,860 --> 01:20:59,354
Well, well, well. Look who we have here.
1276
01:20:59,999 --> 01:21:02,160
You're so freaking dead.
1277
01:21:02,234 --> 01:21:04,930
All you guys better scram or
I'm gonna kick your butts, too!
1278
01:21:05,004 --> 01:21:05,993
{ALL SCREAMING}
1279
01:21:06,939 --> 01:21:08,566
Not you two.
1280
01:21:11,844 --> 01:21:16,543
You guys have no idea
what I'm gonna do to you.
1281
01:21:16,715 --> 01:21:17,704
Oh, um
1282
01:21:19,685 --> 01:21:21,448
What are we gonna do?
1283
01:21:22,521 --> 01:21:24,250
- I don't know.
- We need to move this along.
1284
01:21:24,323 --> 01:21:27,121
My shift at Cinnabon
starts in half an hour.
1285
01:21:43,476 --> 01:21:46,877
I know what we're gonna
do. Give me the wide one.
1286
01:21:46,946 --> 01:21:49,005
That's you, let's go.
1287
01:21:50,916 --> 01:21:52,440
Pick it up.
1288
01:21:52,518 --> 01:21:54,383
- But
- Pick it up.
1289
01:22:09,101 --> 01:22:11,035
Now eat it.
1290
01:22:11,804 --> 01:22:12,793
No!
1291
01:22:12,872 --> 01:22:16,205
Eat it or I'll shove the
entire thing down your throat.
1292
01:22:22,281 --> 01:22:23,441
{GAGGING}
1293
01:22:29,421 --> 01:22:31,855
GREG: I don't even want to
say exactly what happened
1294
01:22:31,924 --> 01:22:35,416
because if Rowley ever
tries to run for President
1295
01:22:35,494 --> 01:22:38,486
and someone finds out what
these guys made him do,
1296
01:22:38,564 --> 01:22:40,498
he won't have a chance.
1297
01:22:40,566 --> 01:22:41,931
PETE: Now you.
1298
01:22:42,001 --> 01:22:44,026
But I'm allergic to dairy!
1299
01:22:44,103 --> 01:22:46,731
I'll die, and then
you'll go to jail! And
1300
01:22:46,805 --> 01:22:47,897
MALONE: Hey!
1301
01:22:48,274 --> 01:22:50,538
- What are you doing on school property?
- WADE: Go, go, go!
1302
01:22:50,709 --> 01:22:51,869
CARTER: Shotgun!
1303
01:22:51,944 --> 01:22:54,105
Pete Hosey, is that you?
1304
01:22:58,918 --> 01:23:03,048
You boys okay? Yeah? All right.
1305
01:23:07,126 --> 01:23:10,289
Out of my way! Out of my way!
1306
01:23:19,838 --> 01:23:24,673
Oh, my God. Rowley Jefferson ate
1307
01:23:24,743 --> 01:23:26,506
I ate the cheese!
1308
01:23:43,829 --> 01:23:46,127
Yeah. I ate it.
1309
01:23:46,932 --> 01:23:51,596
And you know what, people? I
just did you all a huge favor.
1310
01:23:53,939 --> 01:23:57,875
I ate the cheese to show you all
how stupid this whole school is.
1311
01:23:59,545 --> 01:24:00,978
The wrong friends.
1312
01:24:02,414 --> 01:24:04,279
The wrong lunch table.
1313
01:24:05,217 --> 01:24:06,844
The wrong butt?
1314
01:24:08,287 --> 01:24:10,414
It's all meaningless.
1315
01:24:11,023 --> 01:24:13,218
Just like this cheese.
1316
01:24:14,860 --> 01:24:17,226
I know it. You all know it.
1317
01:24:17,596 --> 01:24:19,120
So come on.
1318
01:24:19,732 --> 01:24:23,566
Everyone else who's sick of
it, step forward and join me!
1319
01:24:26,505 --> 01:24:29,736
Cheese Touch! Greg Heffley
has the Cheese Touch!
1320
01:24:29,808 --> 01:24:32,606
- ALL: Run!
- BOY: He's got the Cheese Touch!
1321
01:24:42,121 --> 01:24:45,887
Not bad, Heffley. Not bad at all.
1322
01:24:58,404 --> 01:25:03,899
So you want to come over
after school and play?
1323
01:25:08,147 --> 01:25:09,341
Yeah.
1324
01:25:12,885 --> 01:25:14,079
Okay.
1325
01:25:23,162 --> 01:25:24,390
{INDISTINCT CHATTERING}
1326
01:25:28,391 --> 01:25:29,391
{SCHOOL BELL RINGING}
1327
01:25:29,435 --> 01:25:32,097
PATTY: Here's your yearbook.
Have a great summer.
1328
01:25:32,171 --> 01:25:33,900
Here's your yearbook.
Have a great summer.
1329
01:25:33,972 --> 01:25:35,064
Thanks!
1330
01:25:35,541 --> 01:25:37,338
Here's your yearbook.
Have a great summer.
1331
01:25:37,409 --> 01:25:38,842
Thanks, Patty.
1332
01:25:38,911 --> 01:25:42,574
Here's your yearbook.
You're not in it that much.
1333
01:25:42,648 --> 01:25:45,310
Maybe try to get out
there a little next year.
1334
01:25:45,384 --> 01:25:47,352
You know what, Patty?
1335
01:25:47,419 --> 01:25:50,616
One day middle school will
end and become high school.
1336
01:25:50,689 --> 01:25:53,214
And after that, it just becomes life.
1337
01:25:53,292 --> 01:25:58,229
And all those things you think
are important now won't be anymore.
1338
01:25:58,831 --> 01:26:00,799
{SCOFFS} You wish.
1339
01:26:02,634 --> 01:26:04,067
{EXCLAIMING} As if!
1340
01:26:06,672 --> 01:26:08,970
Handing it to you is like touching you
1341
01:26:09,041 --> 01:26:12,772
and I am way too smart to touch
somebody who ate the cheese.
1342
01:26:13,412 --> 01:26:17,041
Rowley! Have a great summer!
1343
01:26:17,483 --> 01:26:18,780
Stay cool.
1344
01:26:19,785 --> 01:26:22,948
Yep, you're way too smart
for me, Patty Farrell.
1345
01:26:23,355 --> 01:26:24,344
{SCOFFS}
1346
01:26:26,024 --> 01:26:27,013
{LAUGHING}
1347
01:26:27,459 --> 01:26:29,757
So the year turned out pretty good.
1348
01:26:29,828 --> 01:26:32,991
My goal was to be a class
favorite, and I made it.
1349
01:26:33,065 --> 01:26:37,297
Even if it wasn't exactly
the way I planned it.
1350
01:26:38,203 --> 01:26:40,569
Zoo-wee Mama!
1351
01:26:42,975 --> 01:26:44,306
{¶¶ WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEPLAYING ¶¶}
1352
01:26:45,110 --> 01:26:47,670
¶¶ Hey! Oh!
1353
01:26:54,119 --> 01:26:56,451
¶¶ I don't wanna waste my time again
1354
01:26:56,522 --> 01:26:58,717
¶¶ By getting wasted
with so-called friends
1355
01:26:58,791 --> 01:27:00,053
¶¶ 'Cause they don't know me
1356
01:27:00,125 --> 01:27:03,424
¶¶ But they pretend to be
part of my social scenery
1357
01:27:03,495 --> 01:27:05,258
¶¶ Hey, maybe I'm a critic, a cynic
1358
01:27:05,330 --> 01:27:08,163
¶¶ Or am I jaded or am I afraid of it?
1359
01:27:08,233 --> 01:27:09,359
¶¶ 'Cause It's dragging me down
1360
01:27:09,435 --> 01:27:10,697
¶¶ It's bumming me out
1361
01:27:10,769 --> 01:27:15,297
¶¶ It's making my head spin round and round
1362
01:27:15,374 --> 01:27:16,432
¶¶ Can you say, "Hey?"
1363
01:27:16,508 --> 01:27:17,668
¶¶ Can you say, "Oh?"
1364
01:27:17,743 --> 01:27:20,041
¶¶ That's right, what do you want from me?
1365
01:27:20,112 --> 01:27:21,272
¶¶ Can you say, "Hey?"
1366
01:27:21,346 --> 01:27:22,370
¶¶ Can you say, "Oh?"
1367
01:27:22,448 --> 01:27:24,882
¶¶ That's right, what do you want from me?
1368
01:27:24,950 --> 01:27:26,941
¶¶ I get the feeling we're on to something
1369
01:27:27,019 --> 01:27:29,351
¶¶ I say jump and you start jumping
1370
01:27:29,421 --> 01:27:30,718
¶¶ Can you say, "Hey?"
1371
01:27:30,789 --> 01:27:31,949
¶¶ Can you say, "Oh?"
1372
01:27:32,024 --> 01:27:34,584
¶¶ That's right, what do you want from me?
1373
01:27:34,660 --> 01:27:36,890
¶¶ Just another day in the life of me
1374
01:27:39,264 --> 01:27:40,891
¶¶ Maybe I'm a critic, a cynic
1375
01:27:40,966 --> 01:27:43,764
¶¶ Or am I crazy? Do they all hate me?
1376
01:27:43,836 --> 01:27:46,168
¶¶ 'Cause they pick me up and throw me down
1377
01:27:46,238 --> 01:27:50,766
¶¶ It's making my head spin round and round
1378
01:27:51,443 --> 01:27:52,432
{EXCLAIMS}
1379
01:27:53,278 --> 01:27:54,404
¶¶ Can you say, "Hey?"
1380
01:27:54,480 --> 01:27:55,606
¶¶ Can you say, "Oh?"
1381
01:27:55,681 --> 01:27:57,979
¶¶ That's right, what do you want from me?
1382
01:27:58,050 --> 01:27:59,244
¶¶ Can you say, "Hey?"
1383
01:27:59,318 --> 01:28:00,342
¶¶ Can you say, "Oh?"
1384
01:28:00,419 --> 01:28:02,410
¶¶ That's right, what do you want from me?
1385
01:28:02,488 --> 01:28:04,718
¶¶ I get the feeling, we're on to something
1386
01:28:04,790 --> 01:28:07,315
¶¶ I say jump and you start jumping
1387
01:28:07,392 --> 01:28:08,552
¶¶ Can you say, "Hey?"
1388
01:28:08,627 --> 01:28:09,855
¶¶ Can you say, "Oh?"
1389
01:28:09,928 --> 01:28:12,089
¶¶ That's right, now what
do you want from me?
1390
01:28:12,164 --> 01:28:13,324
¶¶ Can you say, "Hey?"
1391
01:28:13,398 --> 01:28:14,524
¶¶ Can you say, "Oh?"
1392
01:28:14,600 --> 01:28:16,761
¶¶ That's right, what do you want from me?
1393
01:28:16,835 --> 01:28:18,029
¶¶ Can you say, "Hey?"
1394
01:28:18,103 --> 01:28:19,229
¶¶ Can you say, "Oh?"
1395
01:28:19,304 --> 01:28:21,431
¶¶ That's right, what do you want from me?
1396
01:28:21,507 --> 01:28:23,566
¶¶ I get the feeling, we're on to something
1397
01:28:23,642 --> 01:28:26,270
¶¶ I say jump and you start jumping
1398
01:28:26,345 --> 01:28:27,505
¶¶ Can you say, "Hey?"
1399
01:28:27,579 --> 01:28:28,739
¶¶ Can you say, "Oh?"
1400
01:28:28,814 --> 01:28:30,941
¶¶ That's right, what do you want from me?