Whoo!
Open up!
It's your dog, bro!
We've got a warrant for a Hector De la Taco.
So send him on out.
You've got the wrong house, ese.
Why don't you let me worry about that there, snookum?
This is the FBI! Why the fuck don't you open the fucking door? Let's go!
That's cute. Look! You putas got ten seconds to get the fuck off my stoop!
- OK? - "Putas"?
Hey, man! You know what, man? We got off to the wrong foot!
You're damn fucking right we did!
All right, man! Just take a step back
and take another look at our credentials!
Officer McQueen, would you please show this nice young gentleman your badge?
I can't see shit!
Whoo!
You ain't gonna need this no more.
Stop it! If you had bothered to learn the language,
you know what you could be saying to me right now'?
Do you know what you could be saying? You could be saying, "Hey, man",
this is a big mistake. I'm a Federale. I've got a wife!
"I got a wife and I got a kid at home! Please don't let me die!"
But that's all you want to do! Talk in yourjibber-jabber.
That would be like me going to Mexico and expect everybody to speak American.
God Almighty! I mean, what am I...'?
You tell me what I'm supposed to do. What am I supposed to do?
All right, you've got a job. Right? You clean toilets, or cut grass,
or whatever the hell it is you do. This is what I do.
I shoot people in the face. You understand?
Somebody wanted you gone, you know who they came to. This guy right here.
You know? So I'm sorry. But just so you know,
this ain't nothing personal. All right?
You ain't gonna believe this.
Yeah?
We got the wrong house.
This shit ain't gonna turn out well!
You don't listen, man! You're like MacGruber! Goddamnit, man!
Well, ain't that some shit.
- Sheriff? - What's the story?
It's just an all-out massacre. Thirteen dead bodies, mounds of drugs,
- guns, spit and ass. It's a mess. - So who were these miscreants?
No one appeared to be anybody special.
Just run-of-the-mill dealers and bangers.
- Anybody talking? - You know how it is.
Nobody heard nothing, nobody saw nothing, and nobody talks to the po-po.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Fill out all the necessary paperwork, run the bodies through the county.
Have the report on my desk.
Sir, I also took the liberty to go ahead and put it out over the wire.
See if we can get a bead on these shooters.
- Now, why would you go and do that? - Trying to speed things along.
- You think I can't do my job. - I just thought...
Don't do that! Don't ever do that.
Just do as you're told.
' Nothing? ' N°De!
- Not even half? - Mm-mm.
Something's gotta change! Risking our necks for no money.
This some bullshit!
I'm about tired of us getting fucked six ways from Sunday, you hear me?
Goddang, man!
I was gonna put a pool in with that money.
Goddang, motherfucker!
Stop! Yeah, walk away, bitch!
You lucky I ain't in the mood to whip your ass, boy!
Wasting food, motherfucker.
- Can I help you'? - Shit!
- Sorry. You scared me. - That's what I do.
I'm Celeste. I was hoping to talk to you and your friends.
Friends? I ain't got no friends.
I've got my brothers.
Got my house. My car.
I've got a sexy little chica standing in front of me.
But I ain't got no friends.
You wanna be my friend?
I saw you this morning.
I was hoping to acquire your services.
You got the wrong fellas. We was at church this morning.
- Really? - Yeah.
So there's just three other white boys that looked just like you
that ripped up a whole house on Bacon Street?
Trying to figure out how you guys walked out of there with all those witnesses.
And every cop in the state isn't lined up at your door.
So, what's a pretty little girl like you doing in a neighbourhood like that?
- Well, I was there to hire muscle... - Hire him to do what?
Get my godson back from my ex-husband.
Dibs.
Dang it! Cock-blocking motherfucker!
Lady, I'm not sure what it is you think you're doing,
but that's not exactly our line of expertise.
- I got money. - How much?
Ten thousand.
Yeah, I don't think saving people is really for us.
You know'? Why don't you take that shit to the cops?
They'll do it for free.
Twenty-five thousand.
Five thousand up front.
Come on inside and meet the boys.
This is what I'm talking about. Clean lines, nothing to profile.
None of that spinner, hydraulic shit to get you lit up.
What I'm talking about, Sal, is you transporting anything and everything
in this pre-owned Hyundai Sonata. And here's the reason why.
Hidden compartment. Coated with coffee bean and talcum paste
no drug dog on the planet Earth can sniff out.
This space is worry-free, and this time next month,
I'm gonna have a fucking fleet of them.
- Damn, that's tight. - Hear that, Dad? It's tight.
So, what do you say, boys? You want to take a few road trips for me?
Abso-fucking-Iutely, Carlos.
We surely don't mind being your fucking little mule, Don Carlos.
But we gotta talk about our cut.
We're the one doing all the risks.
You know, I just remembered something. I need batteries and toilet paper.
And I need to get that Brad Pitt movie.
The one where he turns back into a fucking baby?
Running low on milk, a few things.
I wonder where I could get all these items in one convenient location?
- Walmart. - Wal-fucking-mart. That's it.
I love the way you put "fucking" in the middle of a word like that.
I'm gonna start using that shit.
You see, guys, I kind of...
look at my future empire as the Walmart of bottom-dollar retail crime.
But, you know, we can't all be Sam Walton.
That's my job.
And when my foot soldiers start talking about shit like cuts
and percentages and things like that, well, see, that's partner talk.
And I don't need a partner.
I need stockers and cashiers and mercenaries and mules.
And in your case, Padre,
dime-bag dealers from the lawn and garden department.
Coincidentally, where I found you.
Now, Padre, I like you. I really do. I like your son too.
I really appreciate all the shit you've done for me, you know,
that God wouldn't be proud of.
But some things, you just have to stop them before they start.
See, partnership leads to ambition.
Ambition leads to a word they don't use much any more.
Mutiny.
- Papa, what's that? - It's bad news.
Listen up, dipshits! This here is Celeste.
And she'd like to give us an assload of money to kidnap her godkid back
from her deadbeat ex-husband. That about cover it?
- I guess so. - Well, OK.
Let me just find my missing persons report here,
and I'll get you right set up.
You out your damn mind, brother'?
The big fellow over there, that's Lincoln.
The mouthy little faggot here is McQueen.
And I'm Brick.
Did you happen to mention that kidnapping ain't exactly what we do?
I was there this morning.
You was at church?
When I saw you guys take out that whole house and walk out without a scratch,
I knew I found my guys.
Bull sheet. What the catch?
Yeah. Why didn't you just go to the cops with this?
His voice box was crushed when he was a kid. He can't talk.
'Cause I told her we'd do it.
Why would he go and do a dumb thing like that?
'Cause you guys are my only shot.
I just want to get Rob and take him away from all this shit.
- That window closes Tuesday night. - Do we look like FedEx to you'?
- Shut up. - You shut up.
- Shut up, man. - You shut up.
I'm talking to the lady. Shut up, man!
- Shut up! - I just want peace of mind.
That's something the cops can't give me.
- And you think we can provide that? - Yeah.
If he's arrested, he'll just get out in 18 months and hunt me down.
This ain't Oodie Brothers Incorporated.
It is now. She just gave us 25,000 reasons to open up shop.
Five up front.
Guys, it's what we've been waiting for.
It's a chance.
You wanted to be the last true family man, Clark.
OK.
OK, lady. We'll take your money.
We'll even get your kid back. But if this man, this...
- Carlos. - If he's as crazy as you say he is,
then why didn't he just kill you in the first place?
He tried.
So when you leave,
it would be great if Lincoln could put a boot through his skull.
You ladies have any other questions'?
Henry, there's someone in the back for you. In your office.
- Who? - Anthony Reese. He's an ATF agent.
- Cute, too. - Yeah. Thanks for that.
I'll be sure to freshen up before I go in.
Agent Reese. Henry Millard.
- Pleasure, sir. - Well...
- We don't see suits in here much. - Yeah, I can see why.
- How do people move in this heat? - At our own pace.
So... what can I do you for?
Well, I wanted to ask you a few questions regarding the shootout
that occurred earlier today.
We think we may have a lead on some suspects.
- Is that a fact? - Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
It was a... It's an interesting region you have over here.
It seems every few months there's a large number of violent offenders
that go missing or show up dead, but there's never any leads.
Cases just... go away. It's very weird.
Well, I guess around here finding justice for murderers
isn't a top priority.
Right. Do you know the Oodie Brothers'?
I know all, son. But I can see you came prepared for show and tell.
So... get with the getting.
All right. Prime suspects!
Case dating back to their father, Jonathan Warren Oodie,
or Johnny Boy Oodie, as he was called.
Guessing you would have loved this guy.
Apparently, in his mid-twenties, Johnny Boy got involved with the Klan.
Made things very colourful for local law enforcement back in the day.
Flash-forward, KKK just about dumbed themselves out of existence
and Johnny Boy went out in a blaze of glory
during a federal drug raid in March of '86.
No known mother to speak of, which makes these three a Christmas miracle.
Sound familiar to you, Sheriff? No?
There were no grandparents or kin suitable to take the children in,
so they were sent into foster care.
Then, when they became of age, they started to become everyone's problem.
The oldest is Brick. He is Johnny Boy in the flesh.
Can't seem to stay out of trouble. And boy, does he love his guns.
Then it looks as though they tried to go legit for a minute.
So they put their middle brother, Lincoln, in Southern Circuit Wrestling.
He ended up killing seven men in the ring. And guess what?
Absolutely nothing was done about it. Nope. Promoters wouldn't charge him,
saying it was accidental and part of his neck-breaking gimmick.
And to make this giant fucker even freakier, he cannot talk.
Or at least he couldn't last time anybody checked.
Wrestled under the name the Dixie Reaper.
And then there's McQueen. Practically illiterate.
He's the baby of the brood. He was well on his way
to becoming a real-life G.l. Joe.
But he's got a bit of an issue with authority.
Whoo!
That's a mighty fine detective job you've done, son.
- Thank you, sir. - But... it ain't as easy as all that.
- So you do know the Oodie Brothers'? - Like I said, I know all.
I can't just bring them boys in 'cause some suit from Philadelphia wants me to.
Well, you can if some suit
from Chicago tells you to.
The longer you stay down here, the more you're going to realise,
we don't like being told what to do, son. Now...
if you'll excuse me, I got other work to attend to.
No, Sheriff. Listen, I'm just asking for, you know, a little cooperation.
Once this thing gets wrapped up, I'll get out of your hair.
Why don't you let me worry about my county'?
We'll be in Dallas by midnight.
I'll drive us until I can't drive no more.
Can you believe she went ahead and paid us five grand up front?
I know, right?
I mean, you'd think she'd have some trust issues, right?
- But hey, each to their own. - Each to their own, man.
Each to their own.
Now, I know we've got an address to Austin,
but shouldn't she have given us like a picture of the kid or something?
How many kids you reckon they got up there'?
I mean, they ain't running a day-care centre.
- OK. - Yeah.
What if we get there and Rob's a baby?
Well, if he's a baby, they got baby junk up there.
- That's smart. - It's not like they're riding around
with a baby in a shoebox or nothing. I mean, come on.
Besides that, them bullet scars didn't look too fresh on Celeste's belly.
- You're right. You're right. - Yeah.
- What if there's more than one kid? - Why are you asking me so many
goddamn questions, man? We just went over this! What?
What do you want to know?! What do you want to know?!
- How will we know which is Rob? - I'm gonna say which one's Rob!
How about that? I'm gonna say, "You know what, I don't want Kevin!
I don't want Michael! No, I don't want Stephen!"
if there's a bunch of fucking kids around I'm gonna say, "I want Rob!"
How about that? Fucking hell, man!
It's a damn simple smash and grab!
We smash whoever's in front of us and we take Rob!
Damn! Plain and simple! What? Sorry, Lincoln.
- I don't know why you have to yell... - Your faggoty brother won't shut up!
I'm inquisitive, and you know that!
Where'd you learn that word? Inquisitive?
- Where the fuck did you pick that up? - It's in my lexicon, man!
- Jackass. Yeah? - I've got it up here.
There's a lot you don't know about me.
Are you ready for a potty break'?
How many books you read, motherfucker?
- Where are we? - We're in Crockett.
Davy Crockett. What time is it'?
Foun.
Hey.
I guess there's a little candy in every pifiata.
Shh.
Got some free shit!
Take it easy, Van Damme! Hey.
Hadji at the front desk said we're only a few hours from Austin.
- Nice! - Whoo!
- Who that? - Fuck. Who do you think?
Don't answer that shit, man!
Don't answer it. Don't you...
- Hey. - Hey'?
Don't hey me. The hell are you'?
Texas.
Texas?
Well, what in the Sam Hill could you possibly have to do in Texas?
Hey, man. Check this out.
Permian Stadium from Friday Night Lights. It's on the way!
I took a job out here.
You took a job! Well, excuse me.
What was I thinking? I forgot you guys are freelance artists. So, Mr Brick,
- whatjob did you take? - Look, it's not a big deal, man.
All right? It's just a little gig out here. We can handle it.
You're going to handle it like you handled me yesterday?
It's bad enough you can't check a damn address,
but you also got to lay them pork chops out in my backyard?
- Put it on our tab. - What was that?
- Nothing! - You watch your mouth, son.
This ain't a joke. This little misstep is gonna be a pain for me,
but you may have just stuck your dick in a hornet's nest.
What are you talking about? What do you mean?
I've got some jackleg ATF agent up my ass,
looking to make a name for locking up you idiots.
The last thing I need is for you dumb shits to draw more unneeded attention.
I mean it, Brick. I better not hear shit about your little Texas job.
Keep your ass off the grid.
Don't call my house. Write this number down.
And for the love of God, get rid of that damn cell phone.
- Yes, sir. - Damn well better.
You mess around and fuck up my pension, that's your ass.
I don't even know you.
Hey!
Check it out, man! Permian Stadium!
It's on the way, man! You want to win, put bubba in!
It's not on the way, jackass.
It is, man! It's Odessa, Texas!
Huh?
Man! Don't take it out on me because you got your ass chewed.
We got work to do, boys.
I'll get my badge.
No. I figured we'd do the old Roosevelt slammer.
Fuck, yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Dibs, bitch! Whoo!
Goddamn it, Montane! I didn't want you to blow the place to hell and back.
I don't give a shit! Would you fucking listen to me every now and then?
Please? Goddamn it. Come here, baby. Come here!
I don't know if your mama told you, but you are hotter than shit.
Goddamn.
Fuck. That's the shit right there, boys!
From now on, no more nickel and diming!
You get it'? Only the finest!
- Hey, how come she's not naked'? - Don't know, boss.
Find out.
Hey. I'll call you when I need you.
All right. Bye.
Doesn't anybody know how to use finesse any more?
You all right'?
- The helmet ain't work for shit. - I told you. Aah!
All right, you go east, I go west!
Plain and simple. Smash and grab.
Shit.
My bad, lady. You OK?
In my defence, you do work for an asshole.
You Rob?
Brick!
Goddang. Brick!
Goddamn it.
Fuck.
Shit.
Boss! Boss, are you all right?
What the fuck does it look like, Marty?
It looks like a fucking bomb went off.
Denny?
- What the hell happened? - The kid.
- Say what? - Three guys come in.
Yes, I know three guys came in! They came all the fucking way in!
- I see that! - They took the kid.
Fuck! Goddamn it!
They shot my motherfucking maid!
OK, Marty, I know it's over a year ago,
but I need you to fucking think, OK? You did kill Celeste, right?
You wouldn't lie to me about that shit, would you?
I put three bullets in her gut. She looked dead to me.
But you didn't check to see if she was dead, did you'?
Guess not.
That was our golden ticket, you stinking fuck!
How am I going to pay for this? You got the dough?
L-lrn?
You got a fucking piggy bank in your fat ass?
Sorry, boss.
OK. As long as you're sorry, I guess that's all that matters, isn't it?
I'll take care of it, boss. I'll make sure it's right. I'll take care of it.
Good, good. Thanks, thanks.
Yeah. Hand me my goddamn pills, will you?
You still want to go look at that car?
That Carlos man make you cripple'?
Hi, buddy.
I don't think he can talk.
- Well, ain't this some shit, man. - What?
That he's all, you know...
- Don't do that shit! - What?
'Cause you're being mean! He can't help it.
You OK?
You hurt?
You OK? He can understand us.
How the hell did you get "I'm OK" from that?
Hey, look, buddy. We ain't going to hurt you, all right? Celeste sent us.
You know Celeste?
Huh?
Yeah! There he goes! See? He understands us just fine.
Once again, how the hell do you know what he's saying?
You the tard whisperer?
You say that again, I'm gonna kill you.
- I'm not making fun. I'm just saying. - Say it again. You are making fun.
- I'm not making fun. I'm just saying. - You are making fun of him.
It's just a little weird that she didn't mention the poor little fella's
- all buggered up, you know? - It don't matter.
She sent us to get Rob. We got Rob. All right?
You good, buddy'?
- I wasn't being mean. - You were being mean!
You were making fun of him.
Bless his heart. He ain't got no control over that.
It's a damn good thing he wasn't in the living room.
I'm just saying.
Mm. Yeah, we can do that.
We can get that done.
All right, Carlos. I'm just finishing up a little something here.
Then we'll get on the road. Don't you worry about a thing, sweetie.
Excuse me, councilman.
What? He wanted a bath.
Another one already? I didn't even get off.
- It's for Carlos. - Well, that makes it a bit better.
Doesn't get much better than this, Bill.
It'd be better than this if the fish was biting as well as these chiggers.
You gotta be shitting me.
This is where the real police matters are handled, huh?
You mean on private property'? Yeah, sometimes it is.
Anthony Reese, ATF.
- Bill Hawkins. Nice to meet you. - Bill's a representative for the state.
Nice to meet you, sir.
Bill, have you heard about an investigation going on in our area?
No, I haven't.
It seems Agent Reese was sent down here to check up on us.
Seeing as he's an Ivy League grad,
I guess that makes him better at our jobs than we are.
Is he now?
No. I'm not trying to intrude, only assist.
Sheriff, I feel like we got off on the wrong foot.
We're on the same team. I don't want it to feel like
I'm infringing on your territory. I just...
I really think we have something with these Oodies.
We don't talk business when I'm fishing, son.
When I'm about to cast. Don't get hooked!
We can, however, talk all about it tomorrow at my office.
It don't excite me that some Yankee's come down here
imposing his authority on one of my best friends.
This county has the lowest crime rate in the state, last time I checked.
- Huh. - I know you Democrats
think we need your help,
but I'm here to tell you that we don't. Bad enough I've gotta fight you in D.C.
Now you can just ease your way out of here the same way you eased in.
I'd like to enjoy what's left of my afternoon.
Alrighty, then.
Why don't you go back home to that wife of yours?
It must be hard raising a baby all by herself.
Yeah! Yeah!
- Pretty classy joint you've got here. - Thanks. Nice shirt.
- You Lucky? - That's right.
Let's see about that.
Hey, man, why don't you turn that shit off back there for me?
That's Mac. He's 98 years old. I think he's earned the right
to watch a little T and A if he wants.
Why? He ain't jerking nothing.
Yeah, well, he's been watching that stuff since I opened the joint,
so I'm gonna keep it that way, all right?
Well, how about this?
If I go back there, I'm gonna bust up Mac and your TV. How about that?
Yeah, is that a fact?
- What the fuck? - See, I got a minor with me.
I'd appreciate it if he wouldn't have to listen to that.
Hey, Mac, I'm gonna give it a rest for a second, all right?
I'm looking for a friend of mine. Terry.
Macky?
I'm gonna give it a rest!
Mac.
Say, Mac. Mac'?
It looks like Mac finally had enough.
Hey, man.
Let me guess. This is the part where you say
you'll be back. Am I right?
I'll be back.
You know this movie?
I'll be back.
Well, ain't you full of surprises?
Hey, this is Lucky. Yeah, listen, I need an ambulance down here, OK?
It seems like Mac's passed on, OK?
You got anything to eat back there besides the bar food bullshit?
- I have to go get it. - Well, rustle something up, man.
I need something for the kid, please. We're in a big hurry if you don't mind.
Yeah'? You running from something'?
Goddamn.
How's it going, ladies? Need something to drink?
Don't know what we'd like yet.
All right. Well, you let us know when you do.
Looking real good up in here.
Watch this.
Dibs.
Name's McQueen.
What's your name?
Can I buy you a drink'?
Her name is Jez. And you can buy us a drink.
Lucky? Can I get us some beers for my new friend Jez.
And her ladies. And that kid's still waiting on his food.
I'll be right back.
Figure it out.
What's your story? And I'm gonna pretend I'm listening.
Damn bullshit! Don't want the kid seeing porn,
but when some sweet tail walks in, they forget all about that, right?
First time in four years I got some sweet, fresh snapper come in here,
and I'm down here making fucking sandwiches for the Road Warriors?
Kiss my fucking ass!
Wanna dance?
About damn time.
Not like that.
Um...
Not like that either.
Brick?
Is that the Big Whopper or the Ponytail?
By the way, Marty says hi.
Yeah? Well, tell Marty, "Fuck you." I see you dodged another bullet.
How'd you get this number?
These days, baby, I can get just about anything I want to.
For instance, right now I'm getting back my paycheque on wheels
- from those amateurs you sent. - Moneygrubbing piece of shit!
What happened to us, baby? We were good once, weren't we?
Fuck you! We were never good. I got played and that's that.
Whoa. Hang on a second. Anybody got played, it was me.
I thought I had a bitch that was down with this shit.
You killed his parents, you psycho!
And it makes me sick that I brought you into their world!
Don't you think they're just a bad judge of character?
It ain't my fault all your friends are richer than shit.
And you know something? At the end of the day, I think you knew.
If I knew, I would have lit your gutless ass on fire while you slept!
Now, there's the feisty bitch I know!
I wish it hadn't ended up the way it did.
But what's Clyde gonna do if Bonnie crosses him and goes soft?
And besides, what does that son of a bitch need money for'?
I mean, how much can a wheelchair cost? Two or three hundred dollars?
You lost, motherfucker! Rob's coming back with me. Deal with it.
Now, girlie, obviously you didn't learn the first time around.
Let me tell you how this shit's gonna end.
I sent some really awful bitches to handle this situation.
Now, once they track down your fellas, it's not gonna be a bloodbath.
It's gonna get fucking sexy.
They'll single them out, divide them up, then thin the herd.
Each one will have forgotten about everything,
except for the fine piece of strange grinding on them.
Then, without warning, their lives will be snuffed out
and the girls deliver Rob just in time for me to plan the boy's 18th birthday.
You should have stayed dead, darling.
'Cause unless your name is Jesus, you had no business coming back.
See you soon.
Why don't you try a taste of me?
Well, hi, big guy. Here's my boom stick.
Shit!
Hey! Hey, don't be fucking around up there!
Fuck!
Well, those girls were the longest relationship I ever had.
You OK, bud? Huh?
All right, come on. I wanna move. Let's go.
Lucky's about to get lucky up in this motherfucker.
Do this shit right. I'm gonna do it all night.
I've got to pay to play...
Five girls like that come in there, you've got to pay to play.
That pussy ain't free.
Don't you laugh at me. I'm gonna make you work all this,
all this extra weight off me, because all I've been doing
is eating fried chicken, baby, and fried collards!
Fried! Everything fried! I saw a man fry a Twinkie yesterday.
Hill County officials have these renderings to go on.
Baby, let me call you right back.
The assailants are travelling with a minor,
and appear to be highly dangerous. If you see anyone
fitting this description, please contact the local authorities.
- I'll be a motherfucker. - Back to you with the weather, Bob.
That sexy bitch broke her damn heel off in my back.
Whoo!
- What in the hell was that? - I don't know.
But you can bet I'm gonna call Celeste and find out.
Rambo time.
Now, you ain't gonna get me back for this later?
Promise me now.
'Cause I've got a feeling this is gonna hurt.
- He's taking it, man. - Take it like Drago!
Drago.
Drago! Drago! Drago! Drago!
- Yeah, baby! - Man! She got you good! Whoo!
Hill County officials have these renderings to go on.
Eyewitness accounts say the assailants are travelling with a minor
and appear to be highly dangerous. If you see anyone
- fitting this description, please... - Fuck me!
Hey!
They did a really good job, didn't they? It looks just like them too.
Look at that. It was all over the news.
Sheriff, this is the first time that evidence
has literally been brought to my doorstep.
We were able to pick up an address for them, too.
I'll have a search and seizure here by noon.
And surprise, surprise!
It's located on a piece of residential land
here in your county, Sheriff. Can you believe that?
That sounds like a hell of a plan, son. What can I do to help?
Well, I'm guessing half the roads that get me there won't show up on my GPS.
So if you could do me a favour and simply escort me to the property,
that would be fantastic.
You mean that old-ass condemned shack out on Euleton?
Son, you didn't hear? Fire chief let the volunteers burn that up for training.
- Burn it up for training. - Yeah.
Yeah, I think it was scheduled for early this morning.
Is that right?
- Well, I suggest you better stop them. - I could call Chief Walters,
but I'm pretty sure ain't nothing left out there but smoke and ash.
My! I'm really sorry about that.
It really sounded like you had something there.
Motherfucker, I'm done with you wasting my time.
I don't ever remember asking for it.
This good-old-boyjustice thing you got going on,
letting the trash take out the trash, saving tax dollars
by keeping the bottomfeeders out of the system
so you can just go fishing all day,
that's a slippery slope you're playing on.
It's gotten to the point where you're no better than they are, Sheriff.
Yeah, I'd be careful if I was you.
Well, I'll take that under advisement.
Shit.
Wake up.
Go get Rob something to eat. I'm gonna call Celeste.
Ooh... Found the mother lode, boy!
I'm gonna pay for it. Don't worry. God.
You see, man, when you open up something in the store...
you have to pay for it.
No one taught me that when I was young.
I learnt that one the hard way.
From the cops.
What?
What's wrong, man'?
I don't know you mean by all that squirming.
Help me out, bud. What you need, huh? What you need?
You got to take a piss'?
You're hungry. Goddamn, of course you're hungry!
Let's get you something to eat? OK. Let's go.
Man!
It's like working out a riddle every time talking to this boy.
Morning, sunshine! You know,
I don't remember crazy-ass biker chicks being involved in our deal.
I don't remember leaving Carlos alive in the deal either. Ls Rob all right?
Fuck!
Yeah, he's probably scared half to death, but he's fine.
- Let me talk to him. - He's inside getting something to eat
with McQueen. Besides, you and I got something to talk about.
All right? What the hell was that last night?
I told you, Carlos would try to get Rob back if you didn't kill him.
What are you talking about? We killed every motherfucker in that place.
Well, evidently not, Brick!
All right. Why would a guy like Carlos, what would he want to do
with a kid in Rob's condition?
Carlos killed Rob's parents, and then lied to me about it.
That might have been something you wanted to mention.
All right, look. I'm sorry.
Rob has a trust that matures when he's 18,
and as legal guardians, we would get him and eventually the money.
That too might be something that you wanted to mention! Fuck!
Rob's trust matures next week and... Carlos will do anything to get it.
- Brick, you're all he's got. - All right. New plan.
- You meet us halfway. - Fine. Where?
Vicksburg, Mississippi. Big Bayou Campground.
I'll be there as soon as I can.
And if you lie to me again, Carlos will be the least of your worries.
I already dropped five bitches. I won't hesitate to make it six.
Now, you may have heard of pig in a blanket,
but this here is a pig in the sun.
Whoo!
You want hair on your chest, now, don't you'? Strippers like it.
Hand me a napkin, man.
You all right'?
Hey. Don't worry.
Don't worry, man. Ain't nothing will hurt Lincoln.
He's OK.
Believed to be responsible for the shooting
in a rural Texas bar.
They are travelling with a disabled young man and believed to be
armed and dangerous. Do not approach these men if you see them.
Who wants a Snicker bomb, huh?
Think you can kidnap some kid and get away with it'?
Yeah, well, I guess if you do the math, five whore assassins
can't trump three retards and a fucking cripple.
I mean, well, according to my calculations,
they should be in your area someplace by now.
But that's not my fucking job to figure out, is it?
I mean, isn't owning the road your goddamn job?
That's what I thought. OK.
Anyway, I don't give a shit what you do. Just get my boy back.
Yes! Get it done!
- Yeah? - We're in a world of shit down here.
Yeah, and now it's spilling over into mine.
Listen, we're going to Vicksburg, Mississippi. OK?
- Big Bayou Campground. We could... - Stop. Stop! Shut up!
Just shut the fuck up! The less I know, the better.
- I taught you better than this! - Look, I just thought that if,
you know, we could run in and do a quick...
Don't do that! Don't get ideas! Just do what the fuck I say!
Things ran smooth when we did that, didn't it?
I cleaned up your shit, you took care of mine.
I could have handled this hotshot.
But now this shit has gone public.
There's repercussions to working for yourself.
- About time you learned that. - Meaning what?
I got to cut ties, Brick. I cleaned up everything on my end.
So, what you do from now on rests solely on your shoulders.
If you come back here, I got no choice but to put you down.
I got a family to protect.
I'll be sure to let the boys know that we're on our own again.
Talk to you later, Sheriff.
Brick! We gots to go!
We made the news!
Hood Pirates! Mount up!
Whoo!
Give me that!
- You call Millard? - Yeah.
Well, what did he say'?
The suspects in question are believed to be.
- Brick Oodie and his two brothers... - Nothing.
They hail from the Atmore area, located in Montgomery, Alabama.
They drew you to look like a fag. Look at that.
What the fuck you do that for, man?
- What the fuck, man? - Come on! Come on, huh?
- What are you do...? - Come on!
I ain't gonna fucking hurt you, you little faggot!
- Stop, man! - Come on! Come here!
Want some? You want some?
- Fuck! - What the devil got into you'?
I fucked us.
How you mean?
Let's see. Millard won't have anything to do with us any more
'cause he can't clean up that mess with the biker chicks down at the bar.
So now we can't go back to 'Bama.
And all of them son of bitches we mowed down in Austin?
- Guess what we missed. - Carlos.
And he ain't gonna stop neither. He's already tracked down Celeste.
So now we gotta get him to fucking Vicksburg so they can disappear.
Well...
This is getting better by the minute.
Now, I like that little fella just as much as anybody.
But tell me something. Just give me one reason why we shouldn't bail right now.
They ain't got no other options.
Hell, we ain't got no other options either.
I mean, look at us. We can't even take care of ourselves.
Has it ever crossed your mind
that maybe he stands a better chance without us?
- It's just different. - How's this different?
- It's just different! - How the fuck is it different?
We had a brother...
who passed away before you can even remember.
He was in the same situation Rob's in.
He was all buggered up, and he was in a wheelchair.
Daddy beat his ass every single day. Treated him like a dog.
And there's nothing we could do about it. Different.
Well, he gets a pass. I don't understand why you didn't say nothing.
- How come you never said nothing? - What do you want me to say to you?
I'm sorry, all right?
But ever since I've seen this fella, I can't stop thinking about it.
How'd he die?
- How'd he die? - I don't know.
He was there one day and gone the next.
I asked Daddy about it one time, but that went over like a fart in church.
What was his name?
- They never named him. - Fuck me.
Got them bitches! Dead ahead!
And this time, try not to hit the motherfucking baby.
Here they come!
I'm giving it all she's got.
Monaco ain't got nothing left! Strap in Rob! Here they come, boys!
What the hell is this motherfucker?
Hey, Rottweiler! You better back the fuck up, mutt!
Merry Christmas, motherfuckers.
The kid's in the back!
Aah!
They took the kid! I thought I told you to strap him in!
They took the fucking door, man! I really don't think a fucking seatbelt
would have mattered right now! Go!
- Hey, he all right? - How in the fuck do I know?
Here they come! Just like you said!
Hey! Help the driver. You want to see this.
We're about to fuck your babysitters up.
- Come on, boy! - Whoo! Come on!
Welcome to the South, motherfuckers!
Whoo! What you got now, bitches'?!
Time out, bitch!
No. No, indeed. Hell no.
- Do something, you're the brains! - We've gotta figure something out!
What?!
- Top rope! - Top rope!
Motherfuckers!
Whoo!
Get them, Lincoln! Come on!
- Whoo! - Whoo!
Go get 'em!
They're slowing down! They're slowing down!
Come on.
Lincoln!
We're good!
You all right, buddy'?
You're one crazy redneck.
Trying to be a tough guy'? Huh? Running away from us?
You want one of these? You've earned it.
- How's Linc? - Not so good.
- What? - You better check on him.
You got Rob'?
Fuck.
You do all this?
By God.
It ain't your hat, bitch.
Good work!
Let me take a look.
Come on. Let me see it.
Shit!
Well, I think it's safe to say that,
that surpasses McQueen's level of doctoring.
- Fine. - You are not fine.
We need to get that looked at.
- Fine. - All right. You're fine.
Fine, my ass.
Fuck!
McQueen!
Montane! Montane, where the fuck are you'?
Shit.
Goddamn it!
Hey, you guys need a ride?
Who are these fucking people?!
Nah, man. We're good. Just keep going.
Son of a bitch.
He practically made these monsters, then hung them out to dry.
You gotta be kidding me.
And why aren't they working for me'?!
Just get in the car. I'm a nurse. I can help.
That ain't such a bad idea.
Bingo.
What happened here?
- I did that. - The stabbing or the stitches'?
- The stitches. - Infection is setting in.
I poured whiskey on it.
Let me guess, you saw that in a movie'?
Yeah. Several.
Hey-Hey, Rob?
You hold onto that, all right'? You know that's his prize possession.
He's gonna need it when he gets to feeling better, OK?
Chogan, this is Carlos. I'm only calling as a last damn resort.
Some asshole took Rob and I need you to kill him.
If you can, bring me back the kid, and if not, then fuck it.
If I can't have him, nobody can.
They're close.
Finish up!
He gonna be all right?
Like I said, it's up to you.
You look really familiar.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Do you stay in shitty motels? 'Cause we clean them.
Crockett. That's where I've seen you.
Small world.
So why ain't you a nurse?
- Hospitals don't exactly hire illegals. - Why don't you become legal?
Your country doesn't make it that easy for us.
What are you talking about'?
Just go down to the place and fill out your paperwork.
Shit. Tell them you want to be legal. I mean, you speak the language.
That's more than most of them do out here.
Your ignorance is unbelievable.
Yeah, well, I might be just an ignorant redneck,
but at least I know who I am.
I mean, you're a nurse. You ought to be helping people.
Not scrubbing toilets.
Well, is that why you do what you do? 'Cause it's who you are?
Let's just say it runs in the family. You know?
Well, you're not gonna have much family left at this pace.
Listen, I really appreciate everything you've done for us.
I can't say that I'd exactly done the same thing, so...
You're welcome.
What would you say if... if I offered you two grand
to get us to Vicksburg, Mississippi'?
What do you say I convince you not to do what you're about to do?
I could take you anywhere else.
Nah. This here's one of them kind of deals, you know?
We kind of had people controlling what we do our whole lives, you know?
It's time for us to take it by the reins.
- Please keep the kid safe for me. - Nothing bad's gonna happen.
- We've just got a job to finish. - I'm foreign. I'm not stupid.
- Thank you. - See ya.
See you around.
Can we still put a pool in with three grand?
What you thinking'?
I was thinking Whac-A-Mole.
But it's gonna be tough with just two of us.
What you mean two'?
That's fitting.
- You want to go high? - No.
You go and run in the house.
No matter what you hear, no matter what the people say,
Papaw did what he could to make things better for you than he had. OK?
Go. Run along.
Dispatch told me you'd... you'd be here.
Yeah. I'd offer you some sweet tea, but I like it stout enough to kill a mule.
It might be too strong for you.
You know, of all the Southern idioms and charms,
you know which one I find the most helpful?
My extraordinary hospitality'?
The fact that nobody ever throws anything away.
I've got to hand it to you, Sheriff.
There was nothing in any database that ever connected you to them.
Wasn't no computer files back in the day.
Another perk of Alabama being behind the times.
Paper trail easy as hell to get rid of.
Only thing this proves is that a young deputy was doing his job.
Right, right, right. Well, I figured you'd say that,
so I did a little further digging, and I found this.
You missed some paper, Henry.
You signed for $1,200 dollars on May 26th, '05,
$800 June 15th, 'O7,
$1,100 on February 3rd, '08.
And it goes on and on and on.
That money was issued for crime scene clean up.
And I can hire anybody I damn well please.
Well, since when do people get paid to clean up a crime before it happens?
You are right though, Sheriff.
You've got the lowest crime rate in the state.
You certainly weren't paying them much though, were you'?
It's no wonder those dogs turned on you.
Now, listen. This story, you know, could end one of two ways.
You could either help me out, cooperate...
or I could just arrest you on the spot.
Take them down myself, eventually.
Look, either way, I've got to take you to prison,
but you play nice, I'll see to it that your sentence is shortened.
Maybe one day you'll be able to see your granddaughter graduate from high school.
Let's consider it a professional courtesy.
They get big quick on you.
You'll find that out sooner or later.
- Come with me. - No, no, no. Come on.
- I don't think so. - Cut that shit out.
Fighting's a young man's game.
- Where are you going, huh? - Vicksburg.
If anybody's gonna put an end to this, it's going to be me.
You know, I'm the one that ain't supposed to be trusting you.
Y'all won the damn war.
Now this is the same face paint that Lincoln used when he wrestled.
Solidifies you as one of us.
You scared?
You're an Oodie now. You got to swallow that fear.
For what it's worth,
I think you deserve more than what you've been through.
It ain't right, people taking advantage of you
just because you can't help yourself.
I know you may not have had a lot of people in your life you can look up to.
Hell, I ain't telling you to look up to us.
I just want you to know that we're going to do everything we can
to keep you from getting hurt.
I'm gonna leave you in charge.
My new lookout.
You've been promoted.
L-lnﬂ...
Empty...
- That ain't much. - It's gonna have to do.
Lincoln don't look so good.
Yeah, he's been better.
Hey.
You think she's gonna come and see this thing through?
Or is she just gonna run for the hills?
I reckon we're about to find out, ain't we?
Yeah.
Why you reckon God would make someone like him?
What?
Why would God let something be wrong with him like that?
I don't know. Hell, man, I don't know.
Hell, why you asking me that, man?
I don't know. Just been thinking about it.
I don't ask why God made men like him.
I wonder why he made men like us.
How are the boys'?
All right.
Hey, Brick?
I'm starting to think we should have finished school.
At least junior high.
It's almost over, bud.
- Shit! - McQueen!
A fucking arrow, man? Fuck!
Come on!
Go!
Move your ass, woman!
- Shit. - Where's Rob, Brick?
He's safe!
Stay right here. I've gotta go get some ammo.
- No! I'm going with you. - Stay here!
- I'm going with you! - Fuck!
- Come on, man! - Go!
- Grab a gun. Fuck. - Take me to fucking Rob!
You're keeping your ass here!
That was a fucking arrow, man!
Brick!
Time out, motherfucker! This ain't fun no more! Stop!
Fuck me! Shit.
I told you to fucking stay here!
You're really gonna say I told you so right now'?
You mind yourself, woman!
Shit!
God!
- Don't fucking move! - Come out, come out.
What you gonna do with that, huh?
- McQueen! - Hey!
Hey! Hey!
You're about to have a bad day, John Redcorn.
Remind me again who's gonna have a bad day?
Ain't that a sight.
So... you and your brothers kidnapped the kid from...
from Ms Martin, and you were planning on holding him for ransom'?
- Yeah? All right. - That's what I said.
And what about these other men here? Who are they? Huh?
L-lrn?
All right. All right.
You'll have plenty of time to think about your answers in prison. Yeah?
- Agent Reese? - Special Agent Simmons! Hey!
- Nice work. - Thank you, sir. Thank you.
I'm very impressed with how you navigated these waters.
I'm putting in a request to have you take over this territory.
- No, no, no, no, sir... - Don't worry about the details.
We'll get everything handled. Cover the moving expenses and everything.
- But my wife... - It's a fine place to raise a family.
- Sir... I... - I'm sure she'll love it.
Fuck me.
Hey! Fuck me!
Hey, bud!
I just wanted to say thank you. I'm sorry it came down to all this.
Don't mention it.
Just make sure you take care of this little guy.
He's one tough cuss.
Sorry we didn't get the fucker.
That's all right. Carlos will get his.
Hey, man, you think I could have a minute? I ain't going nowhere.
All right.
Hey, stop that.
You're an Oodie now.
Make sure this shit didn't go down for nothing.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Well, ain't that some E.T. shit?
You know Brick's gay, right?
See ya, Rob.
The hits just keep on coming.
No matter how this thing plays out...
I'm proud of you boys.
You busy? Goddamn it!
Is there anything I can get you'?
- What? - I have a package for Carlos Lyman.
- Please sign here. - I ain't signing shit.
- Just give me the package. - Are you all right, sir'?
Yeah, I'm fine. It's none of your goddamn business.
- You have to sign. - Isn't that great?
The fucking Postal Service is concerned with my goddamn wellbeing.
This better be a box full of fucking cash.
You bitch!
What was that letter they gave you'?
Some work release bullshit, I...
No.
"Brick. I told you I'd settle up. The truck's from Rob."
Come to find out, more people could use your help.
"Check the bed and enjoy the toys. Celeste."
What truck?
Damn!
Whoo!
I guess somebody forgot to tell me
it was motherfucking Halloween in the South today.
That Asian one.
Pink eyeliner on.
I've got something pink, and I'm swinging it real low.
Swinging it real low. I don't wanna hear any goddamn lip.
It's a fucking bar. You want some McDonald's, go to McDonald's.
Make me a sandwich!
I don't give a fuck what it is as long as he just get to eat.
Hey, shaggy! Come on get the...
We're gonna walk in here and cause some shit!
Get the fuck out of here, you dumb, backwards-talking,
motherfucking Sling Blade-ass motherfucker.
If my brother was here, you wouldn't be talking that bullshit to me.
I'll fucking kill your ass and fuck Mac.
Turn that porn off for me. I don't give a fuck! Make a sandwich for you.
Yeah, I'll be the biggest Jew-kicking, motherfucking ass motherfucker
you gonna ever see. I ain't never seen a Jew that big!
What the fuck am I gonna do with him, Chuckabee? I don't know.
When was the last time you went to the dentist, motherfucker?