1
00:00:01,258 --> 00:00:03,659
So, Mika, if I decided
I'm not gonna wear socks,
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,614
I'm not gonna
wear socks.
3
00:00:05,681 --> 00:00:07,916
I love a slow news day.
4
00:00:07,984 --> 00:00:09,785
MIKA: I've got a story
that's actually gonna keep
5
00:00:09,852 --> 00:00:11,386
everyone talking:
stunning audio
6
00:00:11,454 --> 00:00:12,921
that appears to reveal
7
00:00:12,989 --> 00:00:16,091
First Daughter
Becca Gilchrist is pregnant.
8
00:00:16,159 --> 00:00:17,592
MAN: What?
9
00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:18,860
MIKA:
After a recent interview,
10
00:00:18,928 --> 00:00:20,428
the First Lady
and daughter apparently
11
00:00:20,496 --> 00:00:22,898
left their mics on;
take a listen.
12
00:00:22,965 --> 00:00:24,533
BECCA:
What if one time I actually
13
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,234
let loose and made a mistake?
14
00:00:26,302 --> 00:00:27,869
EMILY:
It would be healthy.
15
00:00:27,937 --> 00:00:29,371
BECCA:
I'm pregnant.
16
00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:31,406
EMILY:
It's okay. You're gonna be okay.
17
00:00:31,474 --> 00:00:34,042
EMILY:
Did you see that?
18
00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:35,544
Um, yes, ma'am,
I did see that.
19
00:00:35,611 --> 00:00:36,912
And as the press secretary,
20
00:00:36,979 --> 00:00:38,713
I can tell you I did
not like seeing that.
21
00:00:38,781 --> 00:00:40,148
All right, well,
let's just stay calm.
22
00:00:40,216 --> 00:00:41,283
Oh, my God!
I know.
23
00:00:41,350 --> 00:00:42,551
Does the
president know?
24
00:00:42,618 --> 00:00:44,052
How could you let us
leave our mics on?
25
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:45,320
Wait, this is my fault?
26
00:00:45,388 --> 00:00:46,788
Oh, aren't you
the big media expert?
27
00:00:46,823 --> 00:00:48,256
I'm not a sound guy!
28
00:00:48,324 --> 00:00:49,324
Does the president know?
29
00:00:49,325 --> 00:00:50,325
No!
No!
30
00:00:50,359 --> 00:00:52,093
(exhales)
31
00:00:53,729 --> 00:00:56,765
Dad?
32
00:01:02,405 --> 00:01:03,772
(stopwatch beeps)
33
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,173
30.26 seconds, Dad.
34
00:01:05,241 --> 00:01:06,675
Another near personal best.
35
00:01:06,742 --> 00:01:08,810
Remember, keep the
strokes efficient, bud.
36
00:01:08,878 --> 00:01:10,478
Skip, I'm just exercising.
37
00:01:10,546 --> 00:01:11,746
You don't have to time me.
38
00:01:11,814 --> 00:01:13,415
You don't have
to time me...?
39
00:01:13,482 --> 00:01:15,022
I'm not calling you "coach."
40
00:01:15,048 --> 00:01:17,085
Coach. There it is. I
got you to say it.
41
00:01:17,153 --> 00:01:18,653
All right, time
for free swim.
42
00:01:18,721 --> 00:01:20,655
(whistle blows)
43
00:01:22,658 --> 00:01:24,125
Skip,
44
00:01:24,193 --> 00:01:25,833
you've been hanging
around the pool a lot.
45
00:01:25,895 --> 00:01:28,163
Have you given any thought
to finding a job?
46
00:01:28,231 --> 00:01:30,532
100%, Dad.
I'm just using the extra time
47
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,634
to unwind from the stress
of college.
48
00:01:32,702 --> 00:01:34,936
You were there for seven years.
All you did was unwind.
49
00:01:35,004 --> 00:01:37,505
Hey, watch how long
I can hold my breath.
50
00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:40,342
Hey, guys.
51
00:01:40,409 --> 00:01:41,610
Something going on?
52
00:01:41,677 --> 00:01:43,311
I, um...
(phone rings)
53
00:01:43,379 --> 00:01:44,379
CNN's got it.
54
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:45,714
Fox has got it.
55
00:01:45,781 --> 00:01:48,216
Al Jazeera has got it.
56
00:01:48,284 --> 00:01:50,018
I'm pregnant.
57
00:01:50,086 --> 00:01:51,119
(gasps for air)
58
00:01:51,187 --> 00:01:52,354
Time?
59
00:01:53,556 --> 00:01:55,357
Dad!
60
00:01:55,424 --> 00:01:57,726
You said
you'd watch.
61
00:01:59,929 --> 00:02:04,966
♪ Oh, whoa-oh-oh, whoa. ♪
62
00:02:09,513 --> 00:02:12,370
1600 PENN
S01 Ep02 - The Skiplantic Ocean
63
00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:16,680
Sync and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com
64
00:02:16,913 --> 00:02:19,714
(deep breath)
65
00:02:21,384 --> 00:02:22,550
So...
66
00:02:22,618 --> 00:02:24,819
Look, I know this is
a lot to take in
67
00:02:24,887 --> 00:02:27,355
at once, everyone.
Becca's not a girl anymore.
68
00:02:27,423 --> 00:02:30,692
Sure, it's messy,
but that's life.
69
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,260
Life finds a way.
70
00:02:32,328 --> 00:02:33,929
But I, for one,
am excited.
71
00:02:33,996 --> 00:02:37,065
I'm gonna be an uncle...
I'm gonna be an uncle?
72
00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:39,668
My sister's having a baby.
I'm not a kid anymore.
73
00:02:39,735 --> 00:02:42,504
Um, you know what, I'm starting
to feel woo... all...
74
00:02:42,571 --> 00:02:45,206
it's... I want
to say light-woozy?
75
00:02:45,274 --> 00:02:47,108
To be fair, this is
partially my fault.
76
00:02:47,176 --> 00:02:49,878
I came into this meeting
with very low blood sugar,
77
00:02:49,946 --> 00:02:50,946
which was really chancing it.
78
00:02:51,013 --> 00:02:52,447
So, what happened?
79
00:02:52,515 --> 00:02:54,549
Well, um...
80
00:02:54,617 --> 00:02:55,884
I met a guy...
81
00:02:55,952 --> 00:02:57,719
at a party.
82
00:02:57,787 --> 00:02:59,854
It was one night.
83
00:02:59,922 --> 00:03:01,356
Damn it, Becca.
Do you even know his name?
84
00:03:01,424 --> 00:03:02,457
Oh, my God, Dad, yes.
85
00:03:02,525 --> 00:03:04,426
I know his nickname.
86
00:03:04,493 --> 00:03:05,927
He goes by D.B.
87
00:03:05,995 --> 00:03:07,462
Um, he said he was
in the Navy.
88
00:03:07,530 --> 00:03:09,197
Which we acknowledge
might've been a lie.
89
00:03:09,265 --> 00:03:11,466
Emily, you want
to let me do this?
90
00:03:11,534 --> 00:03:13,902
Yeah, I'm backup.
I'm here if you need me.
91
00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:15,403
I can't believe that
92
00:03:15,471 --> 00:03:16,571
you got yourself
in this situation.
93
00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:18,039
I mean, what
about your future?
94
00:03:18,107 --> 00:03:19,774
What about law school?
95
00:03:19,842 --> 00:03:22,110
I don't know...
I'll-I'll defer.
96
00:03:22,178 --> 00:03:23,645
Dad, I... I made a mistake.
97
00:03:23,713 --> 00:03:25,213
That's just it.
98
00:03:25,281 --> 00:03:27,082
You're supposed to be
the responsible one.
99
00:03:27,149 --> 00:03:28,817
Recklessness is what
I expect from...
100
00:03:28,884 --> 00:03:30,118
Jackpot!
101
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,488
I put this here.
102
00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:36,391
And you didn't tell me.
103
00:03:36,459 --> 00:03:37,926
You didn't tell me.
104
00:03:37,994 --> 00:03:39,160
Now, it's that much harder
105
00:03:39,228 --> 00:03:40,295
to protect you
from every dingus
106
00:03:40,363 --> 00:03:41,563
with a press badge.
107
00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:43,465
How many times
have I told you guys?
108
00:03:43,532 --> 00:03:45,600
EMILY AND BECCA: Reporters
are the worst people in the world.
109
00:03:45,668 --> 00:03:47,229
Expiration dates are
there for a reason.
110
00:03:47,241 --> 00:03:47,627
Sir?
111
00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:49,604
They're holding for you
in the Situation Room.
112
00:03:49,672 --> 00:03:51,573
All right.
113
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,174
We'll talk
about this later.
114
00:03:53,242 --> 00:03:54,843
I guess?
115
00:03:54,910 --> 00:03:56,277
I'll be right back.
116
00:03:59,582 --> 00:04:02,517
(loud crinkling)
117
00:04:09,258 --> 00:04:11,192
EMILY:
Dale.
118
00:04:11,260 --> 00:04:13,962
Casey, can you
give us a minute?
119
00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:15,864
Look, I'm sorry
I didn't tell you.
120
00:04:15,931 --> 00:04:17,999
How could you keep this from me?
I tell you everything.
121
00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:19,467
I mean, not the launch codes
122
00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:21,202
and black ops.
123
00:04:21,270 --> 00:04:23,838
Okay, fine, there's a ton
of stuff I keep from you.
124
00:04:23,906 --> 00:04:25,206
But not family stuff!
125
00:04:25,274 --> 00:04:26,941
I promised; she trusted me.
126
00:04:27,009 --> 00:04:29,310
You know our relationship
is still a work in progress.
127
00:04:29,378 --> 00:04:30,858
I appreciate the hell
out of that kind
128
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,314
of operational security,
but I'm her father!
129
00:04:33,382 --> 00:04:35,302
Well, she wanted to tell you,
but she was afraid!
130
00:04:35,351 --> 00:04:37,619
Of what?!
Of that.
131
00:04:37,686 --> 00:04:39,621
What?!
That!
132
00:04:42,892 --> 00:04:44,392
MAN:
Here we have our artist
133
00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:46,661
rendition of Becca Gilchrist
at seven months.
134
00:04:46,729 --> 00:04:48,530
Look at the girth on that.
135
00:04:48,597 --> 00:04:51,699
Wow. How'd they get
that picture of you?
136
00:04:51,767 --> 00:04:54,569
You're probably not gonna
want to watch the news today.
137
00:04:54,637 --> 00:04:56,638
Or answer your phone.
Or leave the building.
138
00:04:56,705 --> 00:04:57,872
It might be a good day
for a puzzle.
139
00:04:57,940 --> 00:04:59,841
Is Dad gonna have to say
something?
140
00:04:59,909 --> 00:05:01,910
Given his current state
of mind, I hope not.
141
00:05:01,977 --> 00:05:03,378
But you should probably
prepare a statement.
142
00:05:03,446 --> 00:05:05,580
I can help write it
if you want. You just have
143
00:05:05,648 --> 00:05:07,182
to tell me what happened.
Not that I want to pry.
144
00:05:07,249 --> 00:05:08,583
It's just that
logistically speaking...
145
00:05:08,651 --> 00:05:09,651
I'll write the statement,
Marshall.
146
00:05:09,718 --> 00:05:11,219
All right. I've cleared
my schedule
147
00:05:11,287 --> 00:05:13,488
so that I can get
Xander and Marigold from school.
148
00:05:13,556 --> 00:05:14,756
'Cause I don't want them
to hear this from a classmate.
149
00:05:14,824 --> 00:05:16,224
(sighing):
Oh, the kids.
150
00:05:16,292 --> 00:05:17,992
Emily, it is
really important to me
151
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:19,894
that I'm the one
to tell them, okay?
152
00:05:19,962 --> 00:05:20,962
Okay.
I screwed up telling
153
00:05:20,963 --> 00:05:22,330
everybody else. I just...
154
00:05:22,398 --> 00:05:24,099
I really need them
to hear this from me.
155
00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:25,200
I promise.
156
00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:27,268
You'll be the one to tell them.
157
00:05:27,336 --> 00:05:28,436
Think about
that statement.
158
00:05:28,504 --> 00:05:30,738
Marshall! Bye!
159
00:05:30,806 --> 00:05:31,706
(phone chimes)
160
00:05:31,774 --> 00:05:33,374
Ugh!
161
00:05:33,442 --> 00:05:35,677
How'd they get that picture?
162
00:05:35,744 --> 00:05:37,212
Sis, you need to relax,
163
00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:38,913
get your mind off things.
(phone chimes)
164
00:05:38,981 --> 00:05:41,516
I really think you should come
with me to the pool.
165
00:05:41,584 --> 00:05:43,751
I can't. I have to write a
sober, thoughtful statement
166
00:05:43,819 --> 00:05:46,621
about the one time I tried a
Jell-O shot and its consequences.
167
00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:48,523
You know what you need to do?
You need to put your phone away.
168
00:05:48,591 --> 00:05:49,591
I used to love
169
00:05:49,592 --> 00:05:50,925
my Google alerts.
It was like...
170
00:05:50,993 --> 00:05:52,727
Okay, Becca, look at me.
171
00:05:52,795 --> 00:05:54,062
(quietly):
Close your eyes.
172
00:05:54,130 --> 00:05:55,363
That's it.
173
00:05:55,431 --> 00:05:56,564
Now breathe.
174
00:05:56,632 --> 00:05:57,632
(phone chimes)
175
00:05:58,667 --> 00:06:01,136
Skip!
(phone chimes)
176
00:06:01,203 --> 00:06:02,570
Marshall said not to check
your phone anyway!
177
00:06:02,638 --> 00:06:04,239
(phone chimes)
Skip, give that to me!
178
00:06:04,306 --> 00:06:06,107
Look, I know this is annoying
and although it seems
179
00:06:06,175 --> 00:06:08,476
like I'm making this up
on the fly, which I am,
180
00:06:08,544 --> 00:06:11,479
there's a method to my madness!
Skip!
181
00:06:13,449 --> 00:06:16,718
Becca, do you realize that
you're mostly made of water?
182
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:18,553
Come home.
183
00:06:18,621 --> 00:06:19,954
Give it to me.
184
00:06:20,022 --> 00:06:21,956
Come and get it.
185
00:06:22,024 --> 00:06:23,958
(phone chimes)
186
00:06:24,026 --> 00:06:25,393
(gasping):
Skip.
187
00:06:25,461 --> 00:06:26,895
Get my phone!
188
00:06:26,962 --> 00:06:28,429
Why? I threw it in the pool.
189
00:06:28,497 --> 00:06:29,831
It's not a phone anymore.
190
00:06:29,899 --> 00:06:30,899
(frustrated grunt)
191
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:38,074
192
00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,743
(gasps)
193
00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:43,811
(groans)
Marco!
194
00:06:43,879 --> 00:06:47,448
And having boots on
the ground has paid dividends.
195
00:06:47,516 --> 00:06:50,752
It's the only reason we've been
able to confirm that this cell
196
00:06:50,819 --> 00:06:54,022
is actively pursuing targets
within the country.
197
00:06:54,089 --> 00:06:56,991
This is the first
I'm hearing of it.
198
00:06:57,059 --> 00:06:59,294
Uh, yes, sir. We, uh...
199
00:06:59,361 --> 00:07:01,763
What else aren't you telling me?
Sir?
200
00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:04,265
Are you guys afraid
to tell me stuff?
201
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:06,701
Is that it?
Oh...
202
00:07:06,769 --> 00:07:08,770
Well, sir, we only bring it
to your attention
203
00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:10,972
when we feel like the
information is good and baked.
204
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,106
But then it's too late!
205
00:07:12,174 --> 00:07:13,608
Then everybody knows but me.
206
00:07:13,676 --> 00:07:15,643
And all of a sudden
I'm caught off guard
207
00:07:15,711 --> 00:07:19,180
by some rogue force waltzing in
and defiling her... us...
208
00:07:19,248 --> 00:07:21,449
the country.
209
00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:23,618
(generals muttering)
210
00:07:23,686 --> 00:07:25,687
You guys have kids, right?
Mm-hmm.
211
00:07:25,754 --> 00:07:27,188
Two.
212
00:07:27,256 --> 00:07:29,224
(sighs)
213
00:07:29,291 --> 00:07:31,226
EMILY: Sorry to be the
best stepmom ever
214
00:07:31,293 --> 00:07:33,161
and make you guys miss school.
215
00:07:33,229 --> 00:07:36,364
Some giant political thing
must be happening, huh? No.
216
00:07:36,432 --> 00:07:38,733
MAN: And hope you're
having a smooth afternoon.
217
00:07:38,801 --> 00:07:41,135
Wild news coming out
of the White House, MSN...
218
00:07:41,203 --> 00:07:43,137
MAN 2: La hija del
Presidente Gilchrist
219
00:07:43,205 --> 00:07:45,006
está teniendo un bebé...
Hush! Stop it!
220
00:07:45,074 --> 00:07:46,574
(chuckles)
221
00:07:46,642 --> 00:07:47,830
Everything's fine.
222
00:07:47,856 --> 00:07:48,787
XANDER: Emily,
223
00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:52,538
the fact that you're not telling us
what's going on means that it's big.
224
00:07:52,581 --> 00:07:55,016
The fact that you're absconding
with us without alerting
225
00:07:55,084 --> 00:07:57,518
our classmates means you don't
want to incite panic.
226
00:07:57,586 --> 00:08:00,388
Therefore, I believe that a
meteor is headed towards Earth.
227
00:08:00,456 --> 00:08:01,522
No.
No.
228
00:08:01,590 --> 00:08:04,859
It's not, if but when, Marigold.
229
00:08:04,927 --> 00:08:06,527
So if it's not
a political thing,
230
00:08:06,595 --> 00:08:07,829
is it, like,
a family thing?
231
00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:08,896
Don't worry about it.
232
00:08:08,931 --> 00:08:10,331
So it is a family thing.
Okay,
233
00:08:10,399 --> 00:08:12,667
no more guessing.
Family thing that's
234
00:08:12,735 --> 00:08:14,369
big enough to take us
out of school...
235
00:08:14,436 --> 00:08:16,571
Look at these trees, you guys.
They're so green.
236
00:08:16,639 --> 00:08:19,007
Did you look? Look. Look
at the outside window. Oh!
237
00:08:19,074 --> 00:08:20,541
Maybe somebody's visiting.
238
00:08:20,609 --> 00:08:22,910
Mm. No, that's not big enough.
239
00:08:22,978 --> 00:08:26,414
Unless it's a family member
we've never met before.
240
00:08:26,482 --> 00:08:28,449
How could we not have met them?
That doesn't make sense.
241
00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:32,287
Oh! I got it. Maybe somebody's...
We are going on vacation!
242
00:08:33,822 --> 00:08:35,690
Really?
It's not a meteor?
243
00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:37,725
We wanted to surprise you,
but you guys
244
00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:39,360
are so smart, you got me.
245
00:08:39,428 --> 00:08:41,696
We're going on
a surprise vacation!
246
00:08:41,764 --> 00:08:43,564
XANDER and MARIGOLD:
Whoo! Yeah!
247
00:08:43,632 --> 00:08:45,300
XANDER and MARIGOLD (chanting):
Vacation, vacation...
248
00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:47,869
Vacation, vacation...
Oh, don't get too excited.
249
00:08:47,936 --> 00:08:49,335
Vacation, vacation, vacation...
250
00:08:49,361 --> 00:08:51,798
I wouldn't want you to end
up horribly disappointed.
251
00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:55,044
- Is the President dissapointed?
- Who's the father?
252
00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:56,746
Guys, guys, guys.
253
00:08:56,813 --> 00:08:59,248
This is a private family matter.
254
00:08:59,316 --> 00:09:00,650
EMILY:
Come on. Go to your rooms.
255
00:09:00,717 --> 00:09:02,218
I told you
we're going on a trip.
256
00:09:02,286 --> 00:09:04,487
Time to go...
pack for that trip.
257
00:09:04,555 --> 00:09:06,255
Yikes!
258
00:09:06,323 --> 00:09:08,991
Okay.
259
00:09:09,059 --> 00:09:12,562
(sighs) Come on, Becca.
Answer your phone.
260
00:09:14,998 --> 00:09:16,933
(sighs)
It's so warm in here.
261
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,869
I know. I like to keep it
at 90 degrees.
262
00:09:19,937 --> 00:09:21,504
It's soothing.
Like a broth.
263
00:09:21,572 --> 00:09:22,705
EMILY:
Come on.
264
00:09:22,773 --> 00:09:24,840
Pick up.
Wait. Where are we going?
265
00:09:24,908 --> 00:09:27,176
XANDER: Do we pack for hot
weather or cold weather? Both!
266
00:09:27,244 --> 00:09:28,881
Whatever! I've already
said way too much.
267
00:09:28,907 --> 00:09:31,205
- Get in your rooms and pack.
- You are the best stepmom ever.
268
00:09:31,248 --> 00:09:33,015
Oh... I am not.
269
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:34,550
Okay, go, go, go, go.
270
00:09:34,618 --> 00:09:36,085
DALE:
Why would she not
271
00:09:36,153 --> 00:09:38,354
feel safe to open up to me?
272
00:09:38,422 --> 00:09:40,623
I'm her father. I love her.
273
00:09:40,691 --> 00:09:42,725
What am I missing here?
274
00:09:45,596 --> 00:09:48,764
Uh, well, sir,
when you get bad news,
275
00:09:48,832 --> 00:09:51,634
your personality can be, uh...
276
00:09:53,337 --> 00:09:55,104
not good.
277
00:09:55,172 --> 00:09:57,273
I don't take bad news well?
It's...
278
00:09:57,341 --> 00:10:00,376
kind of a "shoot
the messenger" situation, sir.
279
00:10:00,444 --> 00:10:01,978
Well, who does
280
00:10:02,045 --> 00:10:05,982
takes bad news well? And
what is the proper etiquette?
281
00:10:06,049 --> 00:10:08,317
Should I cheer and blow bubbles?
282
00:10:08,385 --> 00:10:09,885
No, no. No one's
saying that, sir.
283
00:10:09,953 --> 00:10:11,754
Not at all, sir.
This is
284
00:10:11,822 --> 00:10:14,223
the most ridiculous assessment
you guys have ever made,
285
00:10:14,291 --> 00:10:17,727
and I'm including
your approval of the XR-67.
286
00:10:17,794 --> 00:10:18,961
I'm sorry, sir.
287
00:10:19,029 --> 00:10:20,396
I... I thought it would be cool
288
00:10:20,464 --> 00:10:21,731
if it was amphibious.
289
00:10:21,798 --> 00:10:23,833
I remember getting
that bad news.
290
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:26,002
And what did I say then?
291
00:10:26,069 --> 00:10:28,137
You said to get my head out of my ass.
And what happened?
292
00:10:28,205 --> 00:10:29,405
I got my head
out of my ass, sir.
293
00:10:29,473 --> 00:10:30,573
That's called leadership.
294
00:10:30,641 --> 00:10:32,942
Yes, sir, but...
(sighs)
295
00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:36,912
it never works that way
with your family.
296
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:41,751
Iced tea?
297
00:10:41,818 --> 00:10:43,686
Lemonade? Arnold Palmer?
298
00:10:43,754 --> 00:10:45,354
I'm good. All right,
suit yourself.
299
00:10:45,422 --> 00:10:47,289
You know, I was thinking
300
00:10:47,357 --> 00:10:49,325
now that Dad's gonna
be mad at me forever,
301
00:10:49,393 --> 00:10:52,128
probably gonna lighten up on the
whole you getting a job thing.
302
00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:54,363
Dad just doesn't understand
my whole approach.
303
00:10:54,431 --> 00:10:57,500
When you're looking for a
career, you don't find a job;
304
00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:59,935
a job finds you.
That's the secret.
305
00:11:00,003 --> 00:11:01,303
Thatnot the secret.
That's the se...
306
00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:03,339
No, I read the book;
that's the secret.
307
00:11:03,407 --> 00:11:06,442
Heh, well, what do I know?
308
00:11:06,510 --> 00:11:08,778
Hey, uh, Bec, can I
ask you a question?
309
00:11:08,845 --> 00:11:09,945
Mm-hmm. How did the wh...
310
00:11:10,013 --> 00:11:11,947
whole with the, um...
311
00:11:12,015 --> 00:11:13,849
(whistles) how
did that happen?
312
00:11:13,917 --> 00:11:17,186
Well, uh, I was dating...
313
00:11:17,254 --> 00:11:20,156
someone, and...
we broke up.
314
00:11:20,223 --> 00:11:22,191
I was really hurt.
My friends, they were,
315
00:11:22,259 --> 00:11:24,259
like, "Oh, you should just
have a meaningless fling
316
00:11:24,261 --> 00:11:26,996
to get over it," which is
not something that I do ever.
317
00:11:27,064 --> 00:11:29,665
No. Me, either.
I never... Go on.
318
00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:33,803
They point out this guy
who's nice and definitely hot.
319
00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:35,237
Drinks were involved.
320
00:11:35,305 --> 00:11:39,041
Precautions were not taken,
and... here I am,
321
00:11:39,109 --> 00:11:41,143
floating for two.
322
00:11:41,211 --> 00:11:44,246
You remember how good I
was at babysitting you?
323
00:11:44,314 --> 00:11:45,748
Well, I'm available 24/7.
324
00:11:45,816 --> 00:11:48,517
Unless NASA calls, which
they almost certainly won't.
325
00:11:48,585 --> 00:11:49,752
They could.
They could call.
326
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:51,687
EMILY:
Oh, Becca! There you are.
327
00:11:51,755 --> 00:11:53,823
Great! Hi. Hi, Skip.
328
00:11:53,890 --> 00:11:55,770
Becca, can you come talk
to Marigold and Xander?
329
00:11:55,792 --> 00:11:57,159
I didn't tell
them anything,
330
00:11:57,227 --> 00:11:59,328
but I really need you
to come right now.
331
00:11:59,396 --> 00:12:01,097
Come right now!
SKIP: Uh, Momily,
332
00:12:01,164 --> 00:12:02,364
this sounds like
a "land problem."
333
00:12:02,432 --> 00:12:03,666
We don't have those problems
334
00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:05,868
here in the Skipcif...
in the PaSkip...
335
00:12:05,936 --> 00:12:07,603
here in the
Skiplantic Ocean.
336
00:12:07,671 --> 00:12:09,205
BECCA: Yeah, I'm sorry.
It's just
337
00:12:09,272 --> 00:12:11,373
I'm not insanely stressed
out for the first time
338
00:12:11,441 --> 00:12:13,175
in... forever,
and I just...
339
00:12:13,243 --> 00:12:15,077
could you maybe keep
a lid on things
340
00:12:15,145 --> 00:12:17,113
with the kids just
a little while longer?
341
00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:19,181
Well, here's the thing:
everything is still...
342
00:12:19,249 --> 00:12:20,716
(clicks tongue)
but it wasn't easy,
343
00:12:20,784 --> 00:12:22,224
'cause those kids
are frickin' smart.
344
00:12:22,252 --> 00:12:23,786
So it actually would
be best if you...
345
00:12:23,854 --> 00:12:25,221
BECCA: Oh, my God, Emily, I am
346
00:12:25,288 --> 00:12:27,056
in a really good
head space right now.
347
00:12:27,124 --> 00:12:29,058
Can't you please
just give me this?
348
00:12:29,126 --> 00:12:30,226
Yes, I can.
349
00:12:30,293 --> 00:12:32,027
You know, as a father,
350
00:12:32,095 --> 00:12:34,530
sometimes the best weapon
in your arsenal
351
00:12:34,598 --> 00:12:36,198
is the hug.
352
00:12:36,266 --> 00:12:38,300
A hug as a weapon?
I like it.
353
00:12:38,368 --> 00:12:40,202
Yeah.
I try to talk
354
00:12:40,270 --> 00:12:43,572
to my son, but he says,
"You don't know me."
355
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,641
Well, I'm, like,
"Well, let me know you.
356
00:12:45,709 --> 00:12:47,076
Let me in," you know?
357
00:12:47,144 --> 00:12:48,644
I know where you're coming from.
Yeah.
358
00:12:48,712 --> 00:12:49,979
I can't get
through to mine.
359
00:12:50,046 --> 00:12:51,313
It's like I'm
talking to aliens.
360
00:12:51,381 --> 00:12:53,282
What was that book
you were talking about it?
361
00:12:53,350 --> 00:12:55,818
It breaks anger down
into four parts:
362
00:12:55,886 --> 00:12:57,453
the physical,
the behavioral...
363
00:12:57,521 --> 00:12:58,801
Personally, I think
the Buddhists
364
00:12:58,855 --> 00:13:00,623
have a lot
to teach us.
365
00:13:00,690 --> 00:13:04,260
You know, there's actually a
great daddy blog that I go to...
366
00:13:04,327 --> 00:13:06,228
DALE:
You know what I think it is?
367
00:13:06,296 --> 00:13:09,098
Becca had these
amazing plans for herself.
368
00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:11,734
We had such high expectations.
369
00:13:11,802 --> 00:13:13,569
She was always...
370
00:13:13,637 --> 00:13:14,637
Perfect?
371
00:13:14,704 --> 00:13:17,239
Yeah.
Maybe that's why
372
00:13:17,307 --> 00:13:19,341
she was afraid
to tell you.
373
00:13:19,409 --> 00:13:20,309
(others murmur in agreement)
374
00:13:20,377 --> 00:13:22,778
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
375
00:13:25,248 --> 00:13:27,750
Thanks, guys.
376
00:13:27,818 --> 00:13:28,818
Uh, sir?
377
00:13:29,853 --> 00:13:31,854
Congratulations
on your first grandchild.
378
00:13:33,356 --> 00:13:35,157
Thank you.
379
00:13:37,227 --> 00:13:40,262
Oh, and that terror cell,
that's confirmed?
380
00:13:40,330 --> 00:13:42,097
Yes, sir, 100%.
381
00:13:42,165 --> 00:13:43,365
Take 'em out.
382
00:13:43,433 --> 00:13:46,335
And really good talk.
383
00:13:46,403 --> 00:13:48,270
(chuckling)
384
00:13:51,675 --> 00:13:53,609
Do you think
I'm stupid?
385
00:13:53,677 --> 00:13:55,277
Nope. No.
386
00:13:55,345 --> 00:13:57,513
We're not going on
vacation, are we?
387
00:13:57,581 --> 00:13:59,148
Okay.
388
00:13:59,216 --> 00:14:02,184
Listen... I know what's
really happening.
389
00:14:02,252 --> 00:14:03,385
You're pregnant, aren't you?
390
00:14:03,453 --> 00:14:05,054
M...
391
00:14:05,121 --> 00:14:06,322
I...
392
00:14:08,558 --> 00:14:10,392
I knew it! I knew it!
I knew it!
393
00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:11,493
I knew it!
Shh...
394
00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:13,329
I don't want
Xander to know.
395
00:14:13,396 --> 00:14:15,164
Let's just let him think
he's still going on vacation.
396
00:14:15,232 --> 00:14:18,467
'Cause the actual truth is
really gonna mess with his mind.
397
00:14:18,535 --> 00:14:19,969
(whispers): You got it.
I'll keep packing.
398
00:14:20,036 --> 00:14:22,238
(quietly):
Out of the pool, Becca!
399
00:14:22,305 --> 00:14:23,672
(door closes)
400
00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:25,474
XANDER: Do you think I'm stupid?
401
00:14:25,542 --> 00:14:27,643
(quietly):
Oh, God.
402
00:14:27,711 --> 00:14:29,712
We're not going on
vacation, are we?
403
00:14:29,779 --> 00:14:31,146
Nope.
404
00:14:31,214 --> 00:14:33,482
There is a meteor
headed towards Earth.
405
00:14:34,584 --> 00:14:36,585
Yes, there is.
406
00:14:36,653 --> 00:14:38,220
I knew it!
407
00:14:38,288 --> 00:14:41,156
Has the military been alerted?
Yes, and they have
408
00:14:41,224 --> 00:14:42,992
informed me there's
a hundred percent chance
409
00:14:43,059 --> 00:14:45,194
of it being shot down. I'm
sure their projections
410
00:14:45,262 --> 00:14:48,163
are wildly optimistic.
Hello, Vietnam.
411
00:14:48,231 --> 00:14:50,599
Mm. Which is why we're
headed for a shelter, right?
412
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:52,268
'Kay, Xander... I
won't tell Marigold.
413
00:14:52,335 --> 00:14:53,602
She's not as strong as me.
414
00:14:53,670 --> 00:14:55,638
Let her have this "vacation"
415
00:14:55,639 --> 00:14:56,672
a little while longer.
416
00:14:56,740 --> 00:14:59,008
(quiet squeal)
417
00:14:59,075 --> 00:15:00,843
♪ ♪
418
00:15:00,911 --> 00:15:02,278
(quietly):
Oh, where is she?!
419
00:15:02,345 --> 00:15:04,280
SKIP:
You know, a lot of people think
420
00:15:04,347 --> 00:15:06,882
that the key to s'mores
is the chocolate,
421
00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:08,550
but it's really
the marshmallow...
422
00:15:08,618 --> 00:15:10,886
and the graham crackers...
and the chocolate.
423
00:15:10,954 --> 00:15:13,188
Why aren't we just using
our own kitchen?
424
00:15:13,256 --> 00:15:16,592
'Cause I'm taking you to the beating
heart of the kitchen system, Bec!
425
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:18,627
The microwave in there
is crazy powerful.
426
00:15:18,695 --> 00:15:20,729
One time I set it
for four hours
427
00:15:20,797 --> 00:15:22,631
instead of four minutes,
and it totally
428
00:15:22,699 --> 00:15:23,866
ruined those jeans.
429
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:25,634
REPORTERS:
Becca! Oh, Becca! Becca!
430
00:15:25,702 --> 00:15:26,969
(reporters clamoring)
431
00:15:27,037 --> 00:15:29,772
This is not the kitchen.
Who's the father?
432
00:15:31,508 --> 00:15:33,409
Hey, guys,
433
00:15:33,476 --> 00:15:35,110
(reporters quiet)
guys...
434
00:15:35,178 --> 00:15:36,946
ma'am, please,
435
00:15:37,013 --> 00:15:38,580
leave my sister alone, okay?
436
00:15:38,648 --> 00:15:40,282
If you got write
something about
437
00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:42,430
the "crazy White House family,"
I'll take the bullet.
438
00:15:42,485 --> 00:15:44,453
Write the article about me.
I did, last week.
439
00:15:44,521 --> 00:15:47,156
Oh, can you send me a link to that?
You got it, Skip.
440
00:15:47,223 --> 00:15:49,058
Thanks, Evan.
Look, the point is,
441
00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:50,626
there's nothing to see here.
442
00:15:50,694 --> 00:15:52,962
This is not some
salacious story.
443
00:15:53,029 --> 00:15:55,731
My sister just broke up
with a guy.
444
00:15:55,799 --> 00:15:58,400
Her friends told her to,
you know, blow off some steam,
445
00:15:58,468 --> 00:16:01,003
have a one-night stand,
so she did.
446
00:16:01,071 --> 00:16:02,771
Who among us...?
Am I right?
447
00:16:02,839 --> 00:16:04,306
Just with a stranger?
Look,
448
00:16:04,374 --> 00:16:06,842
look, she doesn't
even know the guy's name,
449
00:16:06,910 --> 00:16:08,243
so don't bother asking!
450
00:16:08,311 --> 00:16:09,845
(all stop talking)
451
00:16:09,913 --> 00:16:11,647
I think we're done here.
452
00:16:11,715 --> 00:16:14,016
(reporters clamoring)
453
00:16:14,084 --> 00:16:16,285
Whoa, that was crazy
in there.
454
00:16:16,353 --> 00:16:18,020
Where do we stand
on s'mores?
455
00:16:18,088 --> 00:16:19,655
'Cause it's kind of
getting close to dinner.
456
00:16:19,723 --> 00:16:20,723
Do we just wait?
457
00:16:23,364 --> 00:16:26,493
Look, look,
I don't even know the guy's name.
458
00:16:26,878 --> 00:16:28,545
So don't bother asking!
459
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,781
MAN: And we will have continuing
coverage as this story
460
00:16:30,849 --> 00:16:33,283
gets more insane by the moment.
461
00:16:33,351 --> 00:16:34,485
Wow.
462
00:16:34,552 --> 00:16:35,886
I'm so sorry about this, Becca.
463
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,155
But do you know
what the bright side is?
464
00:16:38,223 --> 00:16:39,790
What?
No, I'm legitimately asking,
465
00:16:39,858 --> 00:16:41,625
'cause this seems
like a disaster.
466
00:16:41,693 --> 00:16:42,693
Aw, Skip,
467
00:16:42,694 --> 00:16:44,328
why did I listen to you?
468
00:16:44,396 --> 00:16:46,163
I should've been
preparing a statement,
469
00:16:46,231 --> 00:16:49,233
but you tricked me into
relaxing like a lunatic!
470
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,535
EMILY: Everything's cool.
Wh-Where are the kids?
471
00:16:51,603 --> 00:16:53,370
A lot of stuff went down.
They're both carrying suitcases
472
00:16:53,438 --> 00:16:55,372
that they know they don't need
to convince the other one
473
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,874
we're going on a vacation
that we're not going on
474
00:16:56,941 --> 00:16:58,381
to protect each other
from the truth,
475
00:16:58,410 --> 00:16:59,576
even though what they think
is the truth
476
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,645
is actually a lie,
respectively.
477
00:17:01,713 --> 00:17:04,181
What?
A lot of stuff went down.
478
00:17:04,249 --> 00:17:05,716
Hi, guys.
479
00:17:05,784 --> 00:17:07,918
Well, why does she think
we're going on vacation?
480
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,720
Oh, I know the truth.
481
00:17:09,788 --> 00:17:11,588
This is for the baby.
482
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,597
What?! You told her?
483
00:17:12,623 --> 00:17:14,550
Yes, I told her that
I'm having a baby.
484
00:17:14,592 --> 00:17:15,659
You, too?
What?
485
00:17:15,727 --> 00:17:17,494
Stuff went down, man!
486
00:17:17,562 --> 00:17:19,063
Sorry. I packed a lot because...
487
00:17:19,130 --> 00:17:20,831
who knows how long
we'll be down there?
488
00:17:20,899 --> 00:17:22,066
At the resort.
489
00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:23,767
Why is going
on vacation?
490
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:25,202
He's not.
491
00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:27,671
Xander, Emily's
gonna have a baby.
492
00:17:27,739 --> 00:17:29,206
Is there enough room
in the shelter?
493
00:17:29,274 --> 00:17:30,507
There's no meteor, Xander.
494
00:17:30,575 --> 00:17:31,942
Aw, come on!
495
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,010
What did you tell them?
496
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,411
A pack of lies, so that you
497
00:17:34,479 --> 00:17:35,779
would trust me,
and it worked.
498
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,581
See how confused they are?
SKIP: Yeah.
499
00:17:37,649 --> 00:17:40,284
I have no idea what's going on.
So please,
500
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:41,685
(whispers):
tell them.
501
00:17:41,753 --> 00:17:43,353
MARIGOLD:
Tell us what?
502
00:17:43,421 --> 00:17:45,456
What's going on?
503
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:48,192
(exhales)
Well...
504
00:17:48,259 --> 00:17:50,761
I'm gonna have
a baby, you guys.
505
00:17:50,829 --> 00:17:52,896
What?!
506
00:17:52,964 --> 00:17:55,966
Oh, wait.
I knew that.
507
00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:57,701
Whoa.
Whoa.
508
00:18:05,310 --> 00:18:07,911
EMILY: I earned
your trust.
509
00:18:07,979 --> 00:18:09,446
(toy squeaks)
510
00:18:09,514 --> 00:18:11,882
I also contributed
to this moment.
511
00:18:14,185 --> 00:18:15,919
Well...
512
00:18:15,987 --> 00:18:18,122
I'm... glad
that you're all here.
513
00:18:18,189 --> 00:18:19,456
NEWSMAN:
Once again,
514
00:18:19,524 --> 00:18:21,391
our top story:
the first daughter...
515
00:18:21,459 --> 00:18:22,459
I wanted to say...
516
00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:23,627
and a prominent blogger
517
00:18:23,695 --> 00:18:25,162
has headlined his take...
518
00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:26,797
these are his words, not mine...
519
00:18:26,865 --> 00:18:28,332
"First Slut."
520
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,834
He writes: "Who did
the First Daughter do,
521
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:33,770
and when did she do him?"
522
00:18:33,838 --> 00:18:35,639
Yikes. Coverage of this story
getting uglier
523
00:18:35,707 --> 00:18:37,441
and uglier.
Understand, now,
524
00:18:37,509 --> 00:18:38,976
I'm not saying this;
I'm reporting
525
00:18:39,043 --> 00:18:40,577
on someone else saying this.
526
00:18:42,313 --> 00:18:44,581
Sir, it might be
a bad idea
527
00:18:44,649 --> 00:18:46,416
to go in front
of the press right now.
528
00:18:46,484 --> 00:18:48,018
You don't like them
on a good day,
529
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,620
and this is
not a good day.
530
00:18:49,687 --> 00:18:51,455
Sir, I just want to point out
531
00:18:51,523 --> 00:18:53,657
that you are still walking
towards the Briefing Room.
532
00:18:53,725 --> 00:18:56,426
Um... sir...
533
00:18:56,494 --> 00:18:58,862
I'm gay.
534
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:01,098
I accept you.
Okay, I'm not gay,
535
00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:02,699
but please don't
go in there.
536
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,035
Sir, you know
you have a temper.
537
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:07,437
(reporters clamoring)
538
00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:11,942
I'll do the talking here.
539
00:19:12,010 --> 00:19:14,711
DALE: There's nothing I'd love
more than to come in here
540
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,713
and yell at you guys...
541
00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:19,149
but we have a free press, so...
542
00:19:19,217 --> 00:19:21,285
you do your job,
I'll do mine...
543
00:19:21,352 --> 00:19:22,986
Dad's looking good.
Very presidential.
544
00:19:23,054 --> 00:19:24,054
Shh!
545
00:19:24,055 --> 00:19:25,189
DALE: Well...
Shh.
546
00:19:25,256 --> 00:19:27,524
One of my jobs is...
547
00:19:27,592 --> 00:19:31,028
being a father, and today
548
00:19:31,095 --> 00:19:33,463
I failed at that job.
549
00:19:33,531 --> 00:19:36,033
So I'm gonna say something
I should have said this morning.
550
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:39,369
My daughter is
one of the sweetest,
551
00:19:39,437 --> 00:19:42,506
smartest, strongest people
that I know,
552
00:19:42,574 --> 00:19:45,642
and she is gonna make
a great mom.
553
00:19:45,710 --> 00:19:47,511
And I'll be with her
554
00:19:47,579 --> 00:19:50,414
every step of the way.
555
00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:55,519
Oh, and, uh, we took out
a terrorist cell today.
556
00:19:55,587 --> 00:19:57,721
Bad dudes.
We left nothing but rubble.
557
00:19:57,789 --> 00:19:59,256
Marshall has the details.
558
00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:01,358
(reporters clamoring)
559
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,397
You okay?
560
00:20:07,465 --> 00:20:08,599
Yeah.
561
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,667
I'm sorry about
what Skip did.
562
00:20:10,735 --> 00:20:13,103
Oh, it's okay.
You know,
563
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:16,506
hanging out with him in the pool
actually got me through today.
564
00:20:16,574 --> 00:20:18,008
Really?
565
00:20:18,076 --> 00:20:20,577
Sometimes Skip knows
exactly what to do.
566
00:20:20,645 --> 00:20:24,248
And other times he'll eat a hot
dog out of the pool filter.
567
00:20:24,315 --> 00:20:27,117
(chuckles) You take
the good with the bad.
568
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,052
(laughs)
569
00:20:30,942 --> 00:20:33,750
SKIP: Guys, guys, ma'am...
570
00:20:34,087 --> 00:20:35,480
leave my sister alone, okay?
571
00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:37,634
Skip.
572
00:20:37,713 --> 00:20:39,013
Hi, Dad.
573
00:20:39,081 --> 00:20:40,348
Just watching my clip.
574
00:20:40,415 --> 00:20:41,816
Aside from the content,
575
00:20:41,883 --> 00:20:44,518
I think I gave off
kind of a bad-boy charm.
576
00:20:44,586 --> 00:20:46,020
(laughs):
Yeah.
577
00:20:46,088 --> 00:20:47,688
Just, uh...
578
00:20:47,756 --> 00:20:48,967
no more briefings, okay?
579
00:20:48,993 --> 00:20:51,158
Lot of people have
been telling me that.
580
00:20:51,226 --> 00:20:53,227
Lot of people.
581
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,295
Sorry I screwed up, Dad.
582
00:20:54,329 --> 00:20:56,197
No. Look...
583
00:20:56,265 --> 00:20:57,865
your instincts
were right.
584
00:20:57,933 --> 00:20:59,564
You were protecting your sister,
585
00:20:59,590 --> 00:21:03,462
and other than the horrific way in which
you acted upon those instincts...
586
00:21:03,505 --> 00:21:05,339
you did good.
587
00:21:05,407 --> 00:21:06,774
Thanks, Dad.
588
00:21:06,842 --> 00:21:09,343
Oh, and by the way,
what were you and Becca
589
00:21:09,411 --> 00:21:11,279
doing all day in the pool?
The usual.
590
00:21:11,346 --> 00:21:13,547
Marco Polo, noodle races,
591
00:21:13,615 --> 00:21:16,217
and then we were
gonna make some...
592
00:21:16,285 --> 00:21:19,420
Oh. Oh, no.
593
00:21:22,011 --> 00:21:25,684
Sync and correcyed by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com
593
00:21:26,305 --> 00:21:32,201
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