1
00:00:02,162 --> 00:00:04,271
- Is in a meeting!
- Dad, dad!
2
00:00:04,329 --> 00:00:06,697
What if I told you
that I found a way
3
00:00:06,698 --> 00:00:08,766
to combine one of
my favorite passions
4
00:00:08,767 --> 00:00:10,401
with an employment
opportunity?
5
00:00:10,402 --> 00:00:12,369
I'd say just make sure
you thought it through.
6
00:00:12,370 --> 00:00:14,071
Okay, I thought, I thought
you were going to say
7
00:00:14,072 --> 00:00:15,840
"tell me more," so we're
kind of going off script here.
8
00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:17,074
- Which passion are we talking about?
- Magic.
9
00:00:17,075 --> 00:00:18,342
No.
10
00:00:18,343 --> 00:00:19,710
Good, then we're
back on the script.
11
00:00:19,711 --> 00:00:21,212
Look, you know
I've got the skill.
12
00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:22,580
There's not a pair of
cuffs that can hold me.
13
00:00:22,581 --> 00:00:24,215
And you've always
said do what you love,
14
00:00:24,216 --> 00:00:25,549
and the money will follow.
15
00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:26,917
That's not the
case with magic.
16
00:00:26,918 --> 00:00:28,886
Oh, oh, isn't it?
17
00:00:28,887 --> 00:00:30,387
(Gasps)
What's that?
18
00:00:30,388 --> 00:00:34,191
I believe this
is yours, sir?
19
00:00:34,192 --> 00:00:36,527
Don't... dad, don't you
want to ask how I did that?
20
00:00:36,528 --> 00:00:38,195
I can't tell you,
but you can ask.
21
00:00:38,196 --> 00:00:40,231
Good morning, everybody.
We don't have much.
22
00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:42,199
Today, the president
and first lady
23
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,534
welcome the Austrian Chancellor
24
00:00:43,535 --> 00:00:46,036
for a series of bi-lateral
meetings.
25
00:00:46,037 --> 00:00:48,205
So, I'm sure you have
questions about that. Evan.
26
00:00:48,206 --> 00:00:49,807
Who's the father
of Becca's baby?
27
00:00:49,808 --> 00:00:51,609
Is it any of the men who
have come forward?
28
00:00:51,610 --> 00:00:54,145
As-as I have said, it is
a private family matter.
29
00:00:54,146 --> 00:00:55,913
I'm not going to stand
up here and give every
30
00:00:55,914 --> 00:00:57,381
fame-seeking wacko a comment.
31
00:00:57,382 --> 00:00:58,783
Is it the physical
therapist from the Bethesda?
32
00:00:58,784 --> 00:01:00,618
Is the puppeteer
from Wichita Falls?
33
00:01:00,619 --> 00:01:03,788
It's a private family...
It's not the damn puppeteer.
34
00:01:03,789 --> 00:01:06,423
No comment. No comment.
35
00:01:06,424 --> 00:01:08,325
I beg you,
can we please, please,
36
00:01:08,326 --> 00:01:09,560
focus on the arrival of
the Austrian Chancellor?
37
00:01:09,561 --> 00:01:11,395
Uh, sure.
Does the Austrian Chancellor
38
00:01:11,396 --> 00:01:13,831
have any comment on
Becca's pregnancy?
39
00:01:13,832 --> 00:01:15,900
(Reporters clamoring)
40
00:01:17,302 --> 00:01:19,003
Winslow:
Sir, ma'am...
41
00:01:19,004 --> 00:01:20,805
You'll greet her, followed
by the first gentleman.
42
00:01:20,806 --> 00:01:22,973
"Mister," or
"herr Von Konig," for him.
43
00:01:22,974 --> 00:01:24,575
"Madame Chancellor" for her.
44
00:01:24,576 --> 00:01:26,428
You know, I met her at a
conference a few years ago,
45
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:27,511
I'll probably call her Bianca.
46
00:01:27,512 --> 00:01:28,813
Oh, how wonderful.
47
00:01:28,814 --> 00:01:30,614
Hopefully, she'll
take it in the spirit
48
00:01:30,615 --> 00:01:33,984
it's intended, and not as
a naked breach of etiquette.
49
00:01:33,985 --> 00:01:36,754
That guy's obsessed
with protocol.
50
00:01:36,755 --> 00:01:39,256
Winslow is the chief
protocol officer, honey.
51
00:01:39,257 --> 00:01:40,925
I mean, you don't
complain that your doctor's
52
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,193
obsessed with medicine.
53
00:01:42,194 --> 00:01:43,527
Yeah, well,
I'm tired of the
54
00:01:43,528 --> 00:01:45,296
passive-aggressive
history lessons.
55
00:01:45,297 --> 00:01:47,431
Jackie Kennedy did this,
Dolly Madison did that...
56
00:01:47,432 --> 00:01:50,675
Guess what? On Dolly's watch,
this place burned to the ground.
57
00:01:50,701 --> 00:01:51,602
Because of a war.
58
00:01:51,603 --> 00:01:53,270
I'm just saying.
59
00:01:53,271 --> 00:01:54,772
Hey, Brad, I was so
excited about their visit,
60
00:01:54,773 --> 00:01:56,841
I ate five Vienna sausages.
61
00:01:56,842 --> 00:01:59,610
You want to see
a magic trick?
62
00:01:59,611 --> 00:02:01,478
Madam Chancellor, Mr. Von Konig,
63
00:02:01,479 --> 00:02:03,113
welcome to the White House.
64
00:02:03,114 --> 00:02:04,348
Madam Chancellor...
65
00:02:04,349 --> 00:02:06,684
Oh, please, call me Bianca. I
mean, did we not meet in Bonn?
66
00:02:06,685 --> 00:02:09,153
We certainly did, Bianca.
67
00:02:09,154 --> 00:02:10,855
Photographer: Mr. President,
may we have a photo, please.
68
00:02:10,856 --> 00:02:12,356
Ah, absolutely.
69
00:02:12,357 --> 00:02:13,824
Herr, if you don't mind, here.
70
00:02:13,825 --> 00:02:15,192
(Cameras clicking)
71
00:02:17,162 --> 00:02:18,829
I'm needed in a situation.
72
00:02:18,830 --> 00:02:20,698
Of course,
Mr. President.
73
00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:23,534
First lady and I will
take it from here.
74
00:02:23,535 --> 00:02:25,135
We've secured
the perimeter.
75
00:02:25,136 --> 00:02:27,004
Just waiting for
your order.
76
00:02:27,005 --> 00:02:28,539
We're sure this
is our man?
77
00:02:28,540 --> 00:02:29,673
The leads pan out.
78
00:02:29,674 --> 00:02:31,008
He matches the description.
79
00:02:31,009 --> 00:02:32,977
Short of a DNA test,
we believe
80
00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:36,247
that he's the father
of Becca's baby.
81
00:02:36,248 --> 00:02:38,716
Was he in the Navy,
as Becca suspected?
82
00:02:38,717 --> 00:02:41,518
Well, not the "new Navy."
83
00:02:46,825 --> 00:02:48,325
(Knocking)
84
00:02:48,326 --> 00:02:50,094
Hey, buddy,
you're not allowed to bring
85
00:02:50,095 --> 00:02:51,862
food or beverages
into the fitting room.
86
00:02:51,863 --> 00:02:57,101
Dude, I saw you bring your
yoshinoya beef bowl in there.
87
00:02:57,102 --> 00:02:58,769
We're with the
secret service, son.
88
00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:00,771
We're going to need you
to come with us.
89
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:08,074
90
00:03:13,084 --> 00:03:15,920
(Growls quietly)
91
00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:23,453
1600 PENN
S01 Ep04 - Meet the Parent
92
00:03:23,514 --> 00:03:25,887
Sync and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com
93
00:03:25,931 --> 00:03:29,466
You and I are going to
have a conversation now.
94
00:03:30,702 --> 00:03:32,202
But I don't know...
95
00:03:32,203 --> 00:03:33,704
Don't interrupt me!
96
00:03:33,705 --> 00:03:37,074
Yes, yes, president...
Mr. Pres... Mr. President...
97
00:03:37,075 --> 00:03:39,076
Did you really think
you could do
98
00:03:39,077 --> 00:03:41,979
what you did,
and then just disappear?
99
00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:43,814
Whatever it is I did,
I did not think
100
00:03:43,815 --> 00:03:45,316
I could just do it
and disappear.
101
00:03:45,317 --> 00:03:47,651
No way... I wouldn't do that...
102
00:03:47,652 --> 00:03:48,919
If I did that...
103
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:50,154
Are you playing
games with me?
104
00:03:50,155 --> 00:03:51,555
Wait, do you think
I'm a spy?
105
00:03:51,556 --> 00:03:53,424
I'm not a spy.
106
00:03:53,425 --> 00:03:55,726
Or maybe I'm one of those
spies that doesn't know it
107
00:03:55,727 --> 00:03:57,561
until I've been activated.
108
00:03:57,562 --> 00:03:59,096
What?
109
00:03:59,097 --> 00:04:00,230
Why would I suggest
something like that?
110
00:04:00,231 --> 00:04:01,332
I haven't been activated.
111
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:04,001
Send her in.
112
00:04:04,002 --> 00:04:06,470
Do you even know
who my daughter is?
113
00:04:06,471 --> 00:04:08,305
Maybe we're
spies together...
114
00:04:08,306 --> 00:04:09,606
Damn it, please don't
listen to me.
115
00:04:09,607 --> 00:04:11,108
(Whispers):
I'm super nervous.
116
00:04:11,109 --> 00:04:13,744
Hey, dad, what's up?
117
00:04:13,745 --> 00:04:16,847
Dad?! You said you were having
trouble tracking this guy down.
118
00:04:16,848 --> 00:04:18,682
I just wanted you to find
his phone number.
119
00:04:18,683 --> 00:04:22,252
You didn't tell me your dad was
the president of America.
120
00:04:22,253 --> 00:04:23,487
Yes, I did.
121
00:04:24,589 --> 00:04:26,957
So, you don't think it's weird
that I'm the first daughter?
122
00:04:26,958 --> 00:04:29,760
Not at all, I'm the oldest
in my family, too.
123
00:04:29,761 --> 00:04:32,129
(Laughing)
124
00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:33,130
So what do you do?
125
00:04:33,131 --> 00:04:35,099
I work at Old Navy.
126
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,201
Oh, a Navy man.
127
00:04:40,472 --> 00:04:42,139
So, what's why
you kept asking
128
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:43,974
if the secret service agent
was my boyfriend?
129
00:04:43,975 --> 00:04:45,009
That guy seemed
really clingy.
130
00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:46,543
Oh, come on...
131
00:04:46,544 --> 00:04:49,646
Dad, can I just speak with
D.B. Alone please?
132
00:04:49,647 --> 00:04:52,516
If you so much as utter
one disrespectful word
133
00:04:52,517 --> 00:04:54,451
to my daughter,
I will find you.
134
00:04:54,452 --> 00:04:58,722
I have robots that
roam the skies.
135
00:04:58,723 --> 00:04:59,723
Cool.
136
00:05:00,658 --> 00:05:02,793
Sky robots.
137
00:05:05,296 --> 00:05:08,966
Sorry... he can be
a little protective.
138
00:05:08,967 --> 00:05:10,868
(Sighs)
That's okay.
139
00:05:10,869 --> 00:05:12,669
At least we're
back in touch.
140
00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:13,670
What have you been up to?
141
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:16,540
You really don't know?
142
00:05:16,541 --> 00:05:18,175
Don't you
watch the news?
143
00:05:18,176 --> 00:05:19,510
Sports news.
144
00:05:19,511 --> 00:05:20,677
It's a kind of news.
145
00:05:20,678 --> 00:05:25,582
Uh, okay... well... uh...
146
00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,818
You remember that
time we played
147
00:05:27,819 --> 00:05:31,021
one-on-one and
didn't have a goalie
148
00:05:31,022 --> 00:05:33,023
and we bowled a strike?
149
00:05:33,024 --> 00:05:34,491
Wait, are you pregnant?
150
00:05:34,492 --> 00:05:35,926
Seriously?
That made sense to you?
151
00:05:35,927 --> 00:05:37,327
Whoa...
152
00:05:37,328 --> 00:05:40,264
Look, I'm only telling you because
you have the right to know,
153
00:05:40,265 --> 00:05:42,032
not because I expect anything
154
00:05:42,033 --> 00:05:44,868
from you and your... do you call
that a swimmer's build?
155
00:05:44,869 --> 00:05:46,336
I know what to do.
156
00:05:46,337 --> 00:05:48,539
Oh, no, no, no, no,
don't do that.
157
00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:51,842
Will you marry me...
158
00:05:51,843 --> 00:05:53,243
Becca?
It's Becca, right?
159
00:05:53,244 --> 00:05:55,412
Oh, wow, that
is very sweet,
160
00:05:55,413 --> 00:05:57,748
but, I can do
this on my own.
161
00:05:57,749 --> 00:05:59,583
So, it does not take
a village.
162
00:05:59,584 --> 00:06:01,118
Not for me.
163
00:06:01,119 --> 00:06:02,586
So just stay right there,
164
00:06:02,587 --> 00:06:05,956
and I will leave you... now.
165
00:06:05,957 --> 00:06:09,226
Good day, sir, good day.
166
00:06:09,227 --> 00:06:11,962
Good luck with
the athletics.
167
00:06:19,070 --> 00:06:22,439
Uh... is it cool for me
to be in here alone?
168
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,374
You're not alone.
169
00:06:24,375 --> 00:06:26,310
My toilet was clogged
again, so I used dad's
170
00:06:26,311 --> 00:06:28,912
powder room...
Heard everything.
171
00:06:28,913 --> 00:06:31,148
- You are having a day, huh?
- Well...
172
00:06:32,173 --> 00:06:33,973
I'm Standrich Gilchrest Jr.,
173
00:06:33,999 --> 00:06:37,277
but my friends all call me Skip, and
I would like you to do the same.
174
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,564
Okay.
175
00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,877
I don't believe
in handshakes.
176
00:06:41,174 --> 00:06:43,275
(Sighs)
I could use a hug.
177
00:06:43,276 --> 00:06:44,976
You're so sweaty.
178
00:06:46,779 --> 00:06:49,047
Am I hearing this right?
Is this true?
179
00:06:49,048 --> 00:06:50,716
You have the baby's
father in your office?
180
00:06:50,717 --> 00:06:53,285
That I do... flushed him
right out of his spider hole.
181
00:06:53,286 --> 00:06:54,486
You mean the
friendship heights mall?
182
00:06:54,487 --> 00:06:55,554
And you say I
go overboard.
183
00:06:55,555 --> 00:06:58,223
Dale, what are you going
to do with him?
184
00:06:58,224 --> 00:06:59,658
I'm going to make
him face the music.
185
00:06:59,659 --> 00:07:01,226
What does that mean?
186
00:07:01,227 --> 00:07:02,894
I'm gonna hang him up
by his bootstraps,
187
00:07:02,895 --> 00:07:04,963
take him out to the woodshed,
give him what for.
188
00:07:04,964 --> 00:07:06,365
Okay, and what are you
going to do with him
189
00:07:06,366 --> 00:07:09,134
when you're done speaking
in macho metaphor?
190
00:07:09,135 --> 00:07:11,636
I don't know.
191
00:07:13,005 --> 00:07:14,740
Ma'am, I'm glad
I caught you.
192
00:07:14,741 --> 00:07:18,243
I have just a few
dozen details to go over.
193
00:07:18,244 --> 00:07:21,012
Immediately prior
to the luncheon,
194
00:07:21,013 --> 00:07:22,748
the Austrian attaché
will announce them,
195
00:07:22,749 --> 00:07:24,549
at which point
I shall announce you...
196
00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:26,318
Winslow, I appreciate
the attention to detail,
197
00:07:26,319 --> 00:07:28,019
I really do,
but for starters,
198
00:07:28,020 --> 00:07:29,588
I don't want us to
be announced.
199
00:07:29,589 --> 00:07:31,390
Excellent.
200
00:07:31,391 --> 00:07:32,758
Yes, and those place cards,
201
00:07:32,759 --> 00:07:33,759
we don't need
those at the table.
202
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:34,860
We know who we are.
203
00:07:34,861 --> 00:07:37,229
No place cards.
204
00:07:37,230 --> 00:07:40,165
Well, if Abigail Fillmore
can start a tradition,
205
00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:41,433
I suppose we can end one.
206
00:07:41,434 --> 00:07:43,568
Melissa, leave
that cart there.
207
00:07:43,569 --> 00:07:45,437
And that China...
It's just too formal.
208
00:07:45,438 --> 00:07:46,738
I want them to feel
like guests in a home,
209
00:07:46,739 --> 00:07:48,440
not visitors at a museum.
210
00:07:48,441 --> 00:07:51,109
Um, if I may, Ms. Gilchrest,
that China was selected...
211
00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:52,878
I don't care if
Mary Todd Lincoln served
212
00:07:52,879 --> 00:07:54,713
emancipation proclamation
pudding on these plates,
213
00:07:54,714 --> 00:07:55,881
we are not using them.
214
00:07:55,882 --> 00:07:58,016
- Is that clear?
- As you wish.
215
00:08:00,586 --> 00:08:02,888
(Sighs)
Your dad seems tough.
216
00:08:02,889 --> 00:08:04,790
Yeah.
Tough, but fair.
217
00:08:04,791 --> 00:08:06,425
Yeah, he seems like
the kind of guy
218
00:08:06,426 --> 00:08:08,026
with a hard exterior,
but ultimately loving center,
219
00:08:08,027 --> 00:08:09,528
who doesn't
show it that often,
220
00:08:09,529 --> 00:08:11,730
'cause that's not
how he was raised.
221
00:08:11,731 --> 00:08:14,299
Wow. Do me?
222
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:17,402
Actually, you seem
a lot like me.
223
00:08:17,403 --> 00:08:19,137
Totally.
Let me ask you this, okay?
224
00:08:19,138 --> 00:08:20,705
And if you don't feel
comfortable with his question,
225
00:08:20,706 --> 00:08:21,973
you absolutely
don't have to answer.
226
00:08:21,974 --> 00:08:24,376
- Okay? You understand?
- Yeah.
227
00:08:24,377 --> 00:08:26,211
- What's your favorite salad?
- Taco salad.
228
00:08:26,212 --> 00:08:29,247
Taco salad... I knew it.
229
00:08:29,248 --> 00:08:31,550
On the count of three,
name your favorite animated
230
00:08:31,551 --> 00:08:33,343
TV series from the 1980s
about feline warriors.
231
00:08:33,369 --> 00:08:34,052
One, two, three...
232
00:08:34,053 --> 00:08:35,587
Both:
Thundercats!
233
00:08:35,588 --> 00:08:38,790
It's like looking in a mirror.
234
00:08:49,045 --> 00:08:50,045
Internalizing.
235
00:08:50,187 --> 00:08:51,454
"No comment."
236
00:08:51,455 --> 00:08:53,556
Let me hear you say it.
Excuse me.
237
00:08:54,006 --> 00:08:56,241
Becca, we need to talk.
238
00:08:56,242 --> 00:08:57,575
Marshall, this is
not the time.
239
00:08:57,576 --> 00:08:59,444
I really can't talk
about us right now.
240
00:08:59,445 --> 00:09:01,112
That's actually great,
because there is no us.
241
00:09:01,113 --> 00:09:03,148
There is you,
a guy named D.B.,
242
00:09:03,149 --> 00:09:05,316
and the national press corps,
who, like chimps,
243
00:09:05,317 --> 00:09:07,252
are cute as babies, but grow
up to be quite mean.
244
00:09:07,253 --> 00:09:09,154
Well, I don't know what
I want to tell them yet.
245
00:09:09,155 --> 00:09:11,589
Great, I'll just keep
going with the "no comment,"
246
00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:14,125
private family matter, 'cause
it's working like a charm.
247
00:09:14,126 --> 00:09:15,260
Hey, sis.
You're probably wondering
248
00:09:15,261 --> 00:09:16,661
what I think of D.B.
249
00:09:16,662 --> 00:09:18,363
As we all know,
250
00:09:18,364 --> 00:09:19,497
I'm a notoriously
tough audience,
251
00:09:19,498 --> 00:09:21,099
but I love him.
252
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,368
That's nice, Skip.
253
00:09:23,369 --> 00:09:25,036
And it's not just because
of his daring good looks...
254
00:09:25,037 --> 00:09:27,272
Although his eyes match the
waters of the mediterranean...
255
00:09:27,273 --> 00:09:29,040
It's because we
really connected.
256
00:09:29,041 --> 00:09:30,542
Well, that's more
than I can say.
257
00:09:30,543 --> 00:09:32,277
Becca, you are
on page one
258
00:09:32,278 --> 00:09:34,879
of a fairy tale
romance with this guy.
259
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,382
It's a classic boy-meets-and-immediately-
impregnates-girl story.
260
00:09:37,383 --> 00:09:38,850
Skip, you know there's
no relationship
261
00:09:38,851 --> 00:09:40,051
between me and D.B., right?
262
00:09:40,052 --> 00:09:41,886
He's basically
a stranger to me.
263
00:09:41,887 --> 00:09:44,155
We had one stupid night.
264
00:09:44,156 --> 00:09:46,324
I mean, we've never
even been on a real date.
265
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,861
Oh, haven't you?
266
00:09:51,831 --> 00:09:53,064
(Laughing)
267
00:09:53,065 --> 00:09:54,699
Emily, you have made
us feel so welcome.
268
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,301
Like old friends.
269
00:09:56,302 --> 00:09:57,669
Well, good.
270
00:09:59,472 --> 00:10:01,139
Sometimes we have to remind
271
00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:02,741
ourselves this is not
just the White House,
272
00:10:02,742 --> 00:10:03,908
it is also our home.
273
00:10:03,909 --> 00:10:05,477
Then how come she
doesn't let me
274
00:10:05,478 --> 00:10:06,911
watch football
in my underpants?
275
00:10:06,912 --> 00:10:08,713
(Laughing)
Oh, my.
276
00:10:08,714 --> 00:10:12,217
Are we not to dine on
the Hapsburg China?
277
00:10:12,218 --> 00:10:13,852
Come again?
278
00:10:13,853 --> 00:10:15,320
I wrote the White House
months ago,
279
00:10:15,321 --> 00:10:18,156
requesting to dine on
the Hapsburg China.
280
00:10:18,157 --> 00:10:20,925
It's... special China?
281
00:10:23,262 --> 00:10:26,331
♪ Planning a
romantic date for two ♪
282
00:10:26,332 --> 00:10:31,336
♪ using this stuff I find
because I'm smart ♪
283
00:10:31,337 --> 00:10:32,704
Ooh!
284
00:10:32,705 --> 00:10:34,372
♪ This painting... ♪
285
00:10:34,373 --> 00:10:38,009
♪ is bolted to the wall... ♪
286
00:10:38,010 --> 00:10:39,677
♪ and now I'm looking
for something ♪
287
00:10:39,678 --> 00:10:41,579
♪ to tie all these
pieces together ♪
288
00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:43,615
♪ and look, a China cart ♪
289
00:10:43,616 --> 00:10:46,084
♪ la la, la la, la ♪
290
00:10:46,085 --> 00:10:48,219
The China was a gift from
the royal House of Hapsburg.
291
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:50,121
The artisans
who made it
292
00:10:50,122 --> 00:10:51,456
perished in a
workshop fire.
293
00:10:51,457 --> 00:10:54,959
All was lost but the
China inside the kiln.
294
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:59,364
Well, those artisans did
not die in vain.
295
00:10:59,365 --> 00:11:01,099
Nor did the mountaineers
who froze to death
296
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,401
transporting it
over the alps.
297
00:11:03,402 --> 00:11:05,103
Or the sailors,
who safely shipped it
298
00:11:05,104 --> 00:11:06,771
all the way
across the Atlantic.
299
00:11:06,772 --> 00:11:08,106
Well, they made it.
300
00:11:08,107 --> 00:11:10,375
To shore, where they
were set upon by wolves.
301
00:11:10,376 --> 00:11:12,644
Sounds like
bad-luck China.
302
00:11:12,645 --> 00:11:15,380
Klaus, you're
being a pill.
303
00:11:15,381 --> 00:11:17,582
Our hosts are well aware
that the Hapsburg China
304
00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:20,418
is a priceless symbol of our
nations' mutual affection.
305
00:11:20,419 --> 00:11:22,287
Well put.
306
00:11:22,288 --> 00:11:24,289
That is why I'm going to feature
it at dinner this evening.
307
00:11:24,290 --> 00:11:25,657
Ah!
If you'll excuse me,
308
00:11:25,658 --> 00:11:27,425
I'm going to go
check on that now.
309
00:11:32,498 --> 00:11:34,332
Oh, come on.
It was right here.
310
00:11:35,925 --> 00:11:38,326
Skip: Becca, remember how
you said that you were sad
311
00:11:38,327 --> 00:11:39,963
that you never got to go
on a real date with D.B.?
312
00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:41,602
No, Skip,
I did not say that.
313
00:11:41,603 --> 00:11:43,237
I practically said
the opposite of that.
314
00:11:43,238 --> 00:11:48,275
Well, ♪ ta-da...! ♪
315
00:11:48,276 --> 00:11:52,346
- Hey.
- Hey...
316
00:11:52,347 --> 00:11:53,447
I'm gonna figure out
what's happening.
317
00:11:53,448 --> 00:11:55,115
Stay right there.
318
00:11:55,116 --> 00:11:55,760
Skip, why?!
319
00:11:55,786 --> 00:11:59,467
Becca, you owe it to the American
people to give this thing a shot.
320
00:11:59,493 --> 00:12:00,387
No, I don't.
321
00:12:00,388 --> 00:12:02,689
- Then you owe it to D.B.
- Also not true.
322
00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:05,225
- You owe it to master chief.
- Who's master chief?
323
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:06,760
The name of the baby.
324
00:12:06,761 --> 00:12:09,263
Look, D.B. is the father
of your child.
325
00:12:09,264 --> 00:12:10,798
Why not give him
a chance?
326
00:12:10,799 --> 00:12:12,733
What's the harm
in having
327
00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:15,269
one amazingly romantic
interlude curated
328
00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:18,539
by a master in
the art of datecraft?
329
00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:20,407
Fine.
330
00:12:22,277 --> 00:12:23,911
And we're back.
331
00:12:29,818 --> 00:12:32,252
I don't really
know what to say.
332
00:12:32,253 --> 00:12:34,655
Well, that makes
two of us.
333
00:12:38,092 --> 00:12:39,793
Whoop. Sorry.
334
00:12:39,794 --> 00:12:41,328
Got it.
335
00:12:41,329 --> 00:12:43,897
Just listen to your body.
336
00:12:43,898 --> 00:12:46,166
Kind of hard with you
breathing on my hair.
337
00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:47,935
Here's a conversation starter:
338
00:12:47,936 --> 00:12:51,238
D.B., you put
a baby inside of Becca.
339
00:12:51,239 --> 00:12:53,807
Becca, you have D.B.'s baby
340
00:12:53,808 --> 00:12:56,143
- inside of you.
- Yeah.
341
00:12:56,144 --> 00:12:57,911
- Springboard.
- Emily: Gone?
342
00:12:57,912 --> 00:12:59,313
What do you mean, gone?
343
00:12:59,314 --> 00:13:01,515
It was checked out to
the residence dining room.
344
00:13:01,516 --> 00:13:03,317
Yes, but it's not in the
residence dining room.
345
00:13:03,318 --> 00:13:06,253
I know. It's gone.
346
00:13:06,254 --> 00:13:10,157
So, I've decided not to find out
whether it's a boy or a girl.
347
00:13:10,158 --> 00:13:11,291
Ever?
348
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:14,027
- No, I mean...
- That was a joke.
349
00:13:14,028 --> 00:13:16,330
(Laughs loudly)
350
00:13:16,331 --> 00:13:19,032
Watch out, Jay Leno!
351
00:13:19,033 --> 00:13:21,435
For what it's worth,
I kind of hope it's a girl.
352
00:13:21,436 --> 00:13:23,537
- You do? Why?
- Well, 'cause if she's
353
00:13:23,538 --> 00:13:27,140
as smart and pretty and
intimidating as you,
354
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:29,343
she'll just kind of crush it
in life.
355
00:13:33,848 --> 00:13:36,316
I knew I wanted to make magic.
356
00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:38,452
I just never knew what kind.
357
00:13:38,453 --> 00:13:42,456
Shall I dazzle you
with sleight of hand?
358
00:13:43,458 --> 00:13:45,225
I can top that.
359
00:13:45,226 --> 00:13:46,960
Now in order
for this to work,
360
00:13:46,961 --> 00:13:48,962
I need you both to radiate
positive energy
361
00:13:48,963 --> 00:13:50,898
toward the table, okay?
362
00:13:50,899 --> 00:13:52,966
And then I'm gonna pull
this tablecloth
363
00:13:52,967 --> 00:13:55,335
really fast
in, like, one motion, okay?
364
00:13:55,336 --> 00:13:57,037
One, two...
365
00:13:57,038 --> 00:13:58,639
No, Skip, no!
366
00:13:59,908 --> 00:14:01,642
Cool. It worked.
367
00:14:02,644 --> 00:14:04,077
Do you have any idea
368
00:14:04,078 --> 00:14:06,246
how important this China is?
369
00:14:06,247 --> 00:14:07,714
No, but it is
absolutely stunning.
370
00:14:07,715 --> 00:14:08,916
And a lot of Austrians died
371
00:14:08,917 --> 00:14:10,884
in some very specific ways
for it.
372
00:14:10,885 --> 00:14:14,655
It doesn't matter.
It's all safe now.
373
00:14:14,656 --> 00:14:16,890
You're D.B.
Hi, I'm Emily Gilchrest!
374
00:14:16,891 --> 00:14:18,692
Yeah. Where do I know you from?
375
00:14:18,693 --> 00:14:20,193
It's so nice
to meet you.
376
00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:21,762
I hope everyone's treating
you well.
377
00:14:21,763 --> 00:14:22,763
Yeah.
378
00:14:22,764 --> 00:14:24,231
So sweet.
379
00:14:24,232 --> 00:14:25,832
Okay.
380
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:27,000
(Hushed):
Becca!
381
00:14:27,669 --> 00:14:29,069
(Mouthing)
382
00:14:33,608 --> 00:14:36,076
(Shrieks)
383
00:14:36,077 --> 00:14:37,411
No!
384
00:14:37,412 --> 00:14:39,780
Momily, it's not your fault.
385
00:14:39,781 --> 00:14:41,114
Well...
386
00:14:41,115 --> 00:14:42,182
(Gasps)
387
00:14:48,458 --> 00:14:51,247
What we're gonna do?
This is a disaster!
388
00:14:51,304 --> 00:14:52,871
No, no, don't worry.
389
00:14:52,872 --> 00:14:54,706
We can glue the pieces
back together again,
390
00:14:54,707 --> 00:14:57,009
and no one will know
the difference. See?
391
00:14:57,010 --> 00:14:58,644
Skip, how did you...?
392
00:14:58,645 --> 00:15:01,313
Yeah, we can use this one
unbroken plate as our model.
393
00:15:05,451 --> 00:15:08,287
Well, that's gonna make it
much harder.
394
00:15:08,288 --> 00:15:09,688
(Sighs)
395
00:15:11,157 --> 00:15:13,859
Your stepmom is beautiful.
I see where you get it.
396
00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:15,494
Is that a joke?
397
00:15:15,495 --> 00:15:17,496
Yeah.
398
00:15:17,497 --> 00:15:21,200
Look, it was really nice of Skip
399
00:15:21,201 --> 00:15:22,701
to try and get us
together but...
400
00:15:22,702 --> 00:15:24,069
Now, who are we kidding?
401
00:15:24,070 --> 00:15:25,571
What do you mean?
402
00:15:25,572 --> 00:15:31,877
W-well, we are very different
people, D.B.
403
00:15:31,878 --> 00:15:35,147
You're a really sweet guy,
and you have a...
404
00:15:35,148 --> 00:15:36,481
Actually, we didn't decide.
405
00:15:36,482 --> 00:15:38,350
Is that a Lacrosse physique?
406
00:15:38,351 --> 00:15:41,687
Anyway, we will figure this out.
I just don't think
407
00:15:41,688 --> 00:15:44,556
that this is part of the plan.
408
00:15:48,394 --> 00:15:50,395
Oh, oh.
409
00:15:50,396 --> 00:15:51,530
Yeah.
410
00:15:51,531 --> 00:15:53,432
Okay.
411
00:15:53,433 --> 00:15:55,033
(Sighs)
For what it's worth,
412
00:15:55,034 --> 00:15:57,369
I went back to that bar
every Friday night
413
00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:58,904
to see if you'd be there.
414
00:15:58,905 --> 00:16:01,573
- But you know what?
- I wasn't there?
415
00:16:01,574 --> 00:16:03,075
How do you know?
Were you there?
416
00:16:03,076 --> 00:16:04,509
Yeah, this isn't gonna work.
417
00:16:08,681 --> 00:16:13,952
Oh, uh, 20% off
friends and family.
418
00:16:13,953 --> 00:16:16,688
I figure we're
at least one of those.
419
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:24,229
Uh, can I get a ride
back to the mall?
420
00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:25,797
Not the Lincoln memorial-y one.
421
00:16:25,798 --> 00:16:27,099
The-the real one?
422
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,433
- Come on, man.
- Thanks.
423
00:16:34,374 --> 00:16:36,708
Did something happen?
He looked upset.
424
00:16:36,709 --> 00:16:39,111
I turned down his marriage
proposal and called him stupid.
425
00:16:39,112 --> 00:16:39,619
Yikes.
426
00:16:39,645 --> 00:16:41,647
Don't you want to call someone
427
00:16:41,648 --> 00:16:44,216
- to help you with this?
- No, I'm still enjoying
428
00:16:44,217 --> 00:16:45,550
the maybe-this-didn't-
happen phase.
429
00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:47,719
Oh, I remember that phase.
430
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,821
It's a good phase.
431
00:16:49,822 --> 00:16:52,457
Look, I know this wasn't
exactly what you planned.
432
00:16:52,458 --> 00:16:56,261
But sometimes things don't
go the way you expect.
433
00:16:56,262 --> 00:16:57,596
Things break.
434
00:16:57,597 --> 00:16:59,831
You just got to
pick up the pieces.
435
00:16:59,832 --> 00:17:01,600
And if necessary,
tell some Austrians
436
00:17:01,601 --> 00:17:04,970
that you've spit on your
shared cultural history.
437
00:17:04,971 --> 00:17:06,738
(Gasps)
438
00:17:06,739 --> 00:17:09,141
I broke the China.
439
00:17:09,142 --> 00:17:10,242
I know.
440
00:17:10,243 --> 00:17:11,843
That's why I said (Gasps).
441
00:17:11,844 --> 00:17:14,413
I'm sorry, Winslow.
This is not your fault.
442
00:17:14,414 --> 00:17:18,483
That's a very generous read
on the situation, ma'am.
443
00:17:18,484 --> 00:17:21,019
However, I shall take the blame
444
00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:23,121
and resign in disgrace.
445
00:17:23,122 --> 00:17:24,923
It's the only way
to protect the president
446
00:17:24,924 --> 00:17:26,258
from a diplomatic incident.
447
00:17:26,259 --> 00:17:27,993
I'll have to move in
with my sister.
448
00:17:27,994 --> 00:17:29,928
It's not ideal.
449
00:17:29,929 --> 00:17:31,530
She owns a ferret.
450
00:17:31,531 --> 00:17:33,265
Oh, Winslow, you
stuffy bastard.
451
00:17:33,266 --> 00:17:35,500
I can't let you
take the fall for this.
452
00:17:35,501 --> 00:17:37,002
I should have
listened to you.
453
00:17:37,003 --> 00:17:40,138
I will tell them
what happened,
454
00:17:40,139 --> 00:17:41,773
and I will suffer
the consequences.
455
00:17:41,774 --> 00:17:43,875
As you wish,
Ms. Gilchrest.
456
00:17:43,876 --> 00:17:46,945
Allow me to help
you clean up.
457
00:17:46,946 --> 00:17:51,149
Guys! This house is full
of antiques!
458
00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:54,219
You've really got to be more
careful, okay?
459
00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:57,289
I can't emphasize that enough!
460
00:18:01,794 --> 00:18:02,794
Dad?
461
00:18:03,997 --> 00:18:05,864
I think we need
to go to the mall.
462
00:18:05,865 --> 00:18:08,367
The Lincoln memorial-y one
or the real one?
463
00:18:09,969 --> 00:18:12,871
I'm so nervous
for you, momily.
464
00:18:12,872 --> 00:18:14,906
How will they react?
We don't know.
465
00:18:14,907 --> 00:18:17,042
Bianca! Good evening, Klaus.
466
00:18:17,043 --> 00:18:19,544
Guten abend,
fraulein Von Konig!
467
00:18:19,545 --> 00:18:21,413
Oh, good evening to you
as well, Skip.
468
00:18:21,414 --> 00:18:24,549
- Is that all the German you know?
- Yes.
469
00:18:24,550 --> 00:18:28,086
The president and his daughter
will be joining you shortly.
470
00:18:28,087 --> 00:18:30,856
Allow me to show you
to your seats.
471
00:18:30,857 --> 00:18:32,257
I have a confession
to make.
472
00:18:32,258 --> 00:18:34,326
It's not easy to say,
473
00:18:34,327 --> 00:18:36,995
and I'm sure it won't
be easy to hear, but...
474
00:18:36,996 --> 00:18:39,064
(All gasp)
475
00:18:39,065 --> 00:18:42,367
How many fingers am I holding up?!
What day is it?!
476
00:18:42,368 --> 00:18:44,369
Why is Arnold Schwarzenegger's
accent different
477
00:18:44,370 --> 00:18:45,837
than every other Austrian?
478
00:18:45,838 --> 00:18:47,272
I'm fine. I'm fine.
479
00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:51,209
Oh! What is it? What's wrong?
480
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,511
It is no more.
481
00:18:52,512 --> 00:18:54,546
It?
The Washington Windsor chair.
482
00:18:54,547 --> 00:19:00,519
The first lady knows its
history better than I.
483
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:06,792
Yes... George Washington
died sitting in that chair.
484
00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:10,862
Musing... it was
his musing chair.
485
00:19:10,863 --> 00:19:13,398
I took you for granted,
and now you're gone.
486
00:19:13,399 --> 00:19:15,400
I am so sorry.
We feel terrible.
487
00:19:15,401 --> 00:19:18,637
These things happen...
488
00:19:18,638 --> 00:19:22,407
To good, well-meaning people,
I might add.
489
00:19:22,408 --> 00:19:25,644
For instance, earlier today,
490
00:19:25,645 --> 00:19:27,212
I completely shattered
the Hapsburg China.
491
00:19:27,213 --> 00:19:28,413
What?
492
00:19:28,414 --> 00:19:30,415
Moving on.
Let me ask you this.
493
00:19:30,416 --> 00:19:33,051
Do you like barbecue?
494
00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:48,800
Mahmood: Dude, come with
me to split a cinnabon.
495
00:19:48,801 --> 00:19:50,402
I don't want a whole one.
496
00:19:50,403 --> 00:19:51,803
Not hungry, mahmood.
497
00:19:51,804 --> 00:19:53,138
President:
Son?
498
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,074
Not again.
499
00:19:56,075 --> 00:19:59,277
Mahmood, if I don't come back,
tell them my story, okay?
500
00:19:59,278 --> 00:20:01,346
Tell them I loved to laugh.
501
00:20:04,517 --> 00:20:07,119
I owe you an apology, son.
502
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:10,755
I have the emotions of a father
and the power of a president.
503
00:20:10,756 --> 00:20:13,325
It's a dangerous
combination, sometimes.
504
00:20:13,326 --> 00:20:14,759
Becca:
I'm sorry, too.
505
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,795
I don't know whether
or not we're different,
506
00:20:16,796 --> 00:20:18,597
because the truth is,
I don't know you.
507
00:20:18,598 --> 00:20:21,266
And you don't know me,
so let's fix that.
508
00:20:21,267 --> 00:20:23,435
Will you come back
for dinner at the White House?
509
00:20:23,436 --> 00:20:26,371
Sure.
510
00:20:30,476 --> 00:20:32,811
I don't believe
in handshakes.
511
00:20:32,812 --> 00:20:34,813
(Whispers):
Skip taught me that.
512
00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:47,831
Very fortunate that that
storied chair collapsed
513
00:20:47,899 --> 00:20:49,232
at just the
right moment.
514
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:50,334
Yes.
515
00:20:50,401 --> 00:20:53,768
We caught
a break there.
516
00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:57,258
Skip:
D-balls, you're back!
517
00:20:57,326 --> 00:20:58,626
D.B.:
Cool hat, man.
518
00:20:58,694 --> 00:20:59,927
Becca:
Okay, let's do this.
519
00:20:59,995 --> 00:21:01,963
Photo op of me and
D.B. and the family
520
00:21:02,030 --> 00:21:03,397
on the White House lawn.
521
00:21:03,465 --> 00:21:04,865
You sure?
522
00:21:04,933 --> 00:21:06,567
I'm not sure
about anything,
523
00:21:06,635 --> 00:21:08,302
but that's okay.
524
00:21:08,370 --> 00:21:10,004
All right then.
525
00:21:10,072 --> 00:21:12,506
Why don't you all just scoot in?
526
00:21:12,574 --> 00:21:15,509
Man: Becca! Becca,
can we get a photo?!
527
00:21:15,577 --> 00:21:18,879
Becca, guy with the face!
Photo, photo, photo op, Bec!
528
00:21:18,947 --> 00:21:20,247
(Cameras clicking)
529
00:21:20,315 --> 00:21:21,415
Skip:
Thrill.
530
00:21:21,483 --> 00:21:22,783
Awesome.
531
00:21:22,851 --> 00:21:24,585
Now what hashtag
should I use?
532
00:21:24,653 --> 00:21:26,454
'Cause this is kind
of a delicate situation.
533
00:21:26,521 --> 00:21:29,490
Is "baby daddy"
one word or two words?
534
00:21:30,192 --> 00:21:33,865
Sync and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com
534
00:21:34,305 --> 00:21:40,802
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