1
00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:03,478
And later today the President
2
00:00:03,479 --> 00:00:05,717
will stop by the "Let's
Multiply" award ceremony
3
00:00:05,719 --> 00:00:07,402
to hand out trophies
to the nation's
4
00:00:07,404 --> 00:00:10,271
brightest young female
mathematicians and scientists.
5
00:00:10,273 --> 00:00:12,006
And that's all I've got for you.
6
00:00:12,108 --> 00:00:14,441
I'd say that was a pretty
painless briefing.
7
00:00:14,643 --> 00:00:15,776
- Marshall.
- Yeah.
8
00:00:15,778 --> 00:00:16,810
Does the White House
have any comment
9
00:00:16,812 --> 00:00:19,046
on Skip Gilchrist's podcast?
10
00:00:19,048 --> 00:00:21,515
I'm sorry, I thought you said
Skip had a podcast.
11
00:00:21,517 --> 00:00:22,916
Oh, that is what I said.
12
00:00:22,918 --> 00:00:24,118
Skip has a podcast.
13
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:25,752
Oh.
14
00:00:25,754 --> 00:00:28,755
Oh, Skip's-Skip's podcast.
15
00:00:28,757 --> 00:00:32,359
I forgot about it for a second
because it's so not a big deal.
16
00:00:32,361 --> 00:00:34,094
I mean, of course,
we know about it.
17
00:00:34,096 --> 00:00:37,997
Otherwise, it might be like a
political ticking time bomb.
18
00:00:38,199 --> 00:00:39,765
So, if you'll excuse me.
19
00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:42,101
(Reporters murmuring)
20
00:00:46,373 --> 00:00:49,342
SKIP: Welcome back, Skipaholics,
to the official podcast
21
00:00:49,344 --> 00:00:51,244
of the Gilchrist White House.
22
00:00:51,246 --> 00:00:53,880
Now, what I'm about to say,
23
00:00:53,882 --> 00:00:55,982
may sound controversial.
24
00:00:55,984 --> 00:00:57,984
Ah, (Bleep).
25
00:01:00,990 --> 00:01:04,090
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:01:06,591 --> 00:01:09,427
It's an honor to
have you in my classroom.
27
00:01:09,429 --> 00:01:11,495
Well, it is a parent-teacher
conference,
28
00:01:11,497 --> 00:01:12,497
and I am a parent.
29
00:01:12,499 --> 00:01:16,934
I know, but the First Lady,
right in front of me.
30
00:01:16,936 --> 00:01:19,437
I'm sorry, I promised myself
that I would be professional,
31
00:01:19,439 --> 00:01:21,705
but O.M.G.,
I love you, so much.
32
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,407
Like a sister, or brother,
not sexual.
33
00:01:23,409 --> 00:01:24,809
How is Marigold doing?
34
00:01:24,811 --> 00:01:27,211
I'm actually very concerned
about her.
35
00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:28,813
I'm here.
I'm here, sorry.
36
00:01:28,815 --> 00:01:30,381
What are you doing here?
37
00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:32,450
O.M.G.,
this is amazing.
38
00:01:32,452 --> 00:01:34,718
The First Lady and America's
favorite pregnant teen.
39
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,154
Oh, I'm actually 22,
and sorry I'm late.
40
00:01:37,156 --> 00:01:39,690
But somebody forgot to tell me
this conference was happening.
41
00:01:39,692 --> 00:01:41,092
'Cause somebody isn't a parent
42
00:01:41,094 --> 00:01:42,560
and it's not a
sister-teacher conference.
43
00:01:42,562 --> 00:01:44,161
That's what it was before
I went off to college.
44
00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:46,063
Then I took over.
45
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,331
And suddenly there's
a crisis that requires
46
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:50,032
an emergency meeting
with Marigold's teacher.
47
00:01:50,034 --> 00:01:51,201
(Both feign laughing)
48
00:01:52,370 --> 00:01:54,637
I bet you banter
like this all the time.
49
00:01:54,639 --> 00:01:57,339
The rat-a-tat-tats,
the bon mots. Ooh!
50
00:01:57,341 --> 00:01:58,574
Why don't we
talk about Marigold?
51
00:01:58,576 --> 00:01:59,809
Yes, of course.
52
00:01:59,811 --> 00:02:01,076
I am very concerned.
53
00:02:01,078 --> 00:02:02,411
What is it?
54
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:03,913
Is she underperforming?
55
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,581
Quite the opposite.
56
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,483
Marigold is so bright
57
00:02:07,485 --> 00:02:11,253
and she recently qualified to
take honors algebra in the fall.
58
00:02:11,255 --> 00:02:13,121
And you're concerned because...
59
00:02:13,123 --> 00:02:15,257
She's choosing to take regular
algebra instead.
60
00:02:15,259 --> 00:02:16,458
(Gasps)
61
00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:18,660
I know this must be
especially troubling
62
00:02:18,662 --> 00:02:20,662
to the co-founders of
"let's multiply."
63
00:02:20,664 --> 00:02:22,798
Big fan!
Big fan!
64
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,500
Well, I hear you
and I am on this.
65
00:02:25,502 --> 00:02:27,402
I also hear you
and I am also on this.
66
00:02:27,404 --> 00:02:29,838
To a slightly greater
degree that a parent would be.
67
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,406
- A step-parent.
- Still hearing "parent."
68
00:02:31,408 --> 00:02:33,041
Do you mind? Scooch in.
69
00:02:33,043 --> 00:02:34,943
What? Oh, oh, no,
could we not...
70
00:02:34,945 --> 00:02:36,378
Smile.
71
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,579
And... tweet.
72
00:02:38,581 --> 00:02:39,981
(Knocking on door)
73
00:02:39,983 --> 00:02:41,616
Hey.
74
00:02:41,618 --> 00:02:43,151
Becca's at a doctor appointment,
75
00:02:43,153 --> 00:02:45,186
so I wanted to talk to you about
the parent-teacher conference.
76
00:02:45,188 --> 00:02:46,821
Why does it matter
where Becca is?
77
00:02:46,823 --> 00:02:48,289
It doesn't.
78
00:02:48,291 --> 00:02:50,357
Um, Mr. Norgel
said you didn't want
79
00:02:50,359 --> 00:02:52,292
to take honors algebra,
for some reason.
80
00:02:52,294 --> 00:02:53,761
That's what this is about.
81
00:02:53,863 --> 00:02:57,464
Marigold, it is a parent's job
to give her child
82
00:02:57,466 --> 00:03:00,800
ground to stand on
and wings to fly.
83
00:03:00,802 --> 00:03:02,669
Honors algebra is those wings.
84
00:03:02,671 --> 00:03:04,838
Are those wings? Is?
85
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:05,540
What are you saying?
86
00:03:05,542 --> 00:03:07,541
What am I saying?
87
00:03:08,443 --> 00:03:09,843
You need to take honors algebra.
88
00:03:09,845 --> 00:03:11,111
You may think
you can't handle it,
89
00:03:11,113 --> 00:03:13,646
but you definitely can.
You are so smart.
90
00:03:14,415 --> 00:03:15,615
Okay.
91
00:03:15,617 --> 00:03:18,351
Really?
Wow.
92
00:03:18,353 --> 00:03:20,854
I had more, but wings worked.
93
00:03:21,256 --> 00:03:23,623
It's just that I wasn't going
to take honors algebra
94
00:03:23,625 --> 00:03:26,058
because it's at the same
time as photography.
95
00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:27,527
Photography?
96
00:03:27,529 --> 00:03:30,596
Yeah, it just seems so cool and
I kind of wanted to try it.
97
00:03:30,598 --> 00:03:33,166
Plus, I'm already taking a bunch
of other honors classes.
98
00:03:33,168 --> 00:03:35,868
Marigold, that excuse...
99
00:03:35,870 --> 00:03:37,436
Is totally reasonable.
100
00:03:37,438 --> 00:03:40,173
It's nice to see you
explore new interests.
101
00:03:40,175 --> 00:03:41,474
If you really want to take
photography,
102
00:03:41,476 --> 00:03:43,276
you should take it.
103
00:03:43,278 --> 00:03:45,477
Photography shall be your wings.
104
00:03:45,479 --> 00:03:46,678
Thanks, Emily.
105
00:03:47,180 --> 00:03:49,280
I'm really not getting
the wings thing though.
106
00:03:49,282 --> 00:03:50,548
Oh, it's a total dud.
107
00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:52,751
Just, let's finish that hug.
108
00:03:52,753 --> 00:03:55,387
Why would God
make forests so big
109
00:03:55,389 --> 00:03:56,888
if he wasn't trying
to hide something?
110
00:03:56,890 --> 00:04:00,158
The Yeti must exist.
111
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:01,726
The Yeti must exist.
112
00:04:01,728 --> 00:04:03,528
By the way,
I'd like to say Konichiwa
113
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:05,797
to all of my friends in Japan
just waking up right now.
114
00:04:05,799 --> 00:04:07,565
It's tomorrow there.
115
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,102
Skip, we've got to talk.
116
00:04:11,104 --> 00:04:12,436
Oh, good news, everybody:
117
00:04:12,438 --> 00:04:13,504
We've got a special guest who's
not just me
118
00:04:13,506 --> 00:04:15,373
changing my voice a little bit.
119
00:04:15,575 --> 00:04:19,043
It's America's favorite press
secretary, Marshall Malloy.
120
00:04:19,045 --> 00:04:22,046
No, no, no, no, Skip, I came
here to shut down this podcast.
121
00:04:22,048 --> 00:04:24,381
What? Why?
122
00:04:24,383 --> 00:04:26,584
Because we can't just have your
unfiltered ramblings
123
00:04:26,586 --> 00:04:28,519
representing the views of your
father's administration.
124
00:04:28,521 --> 00:04:29,954
All right, just sit down here
125
00:04:29,956 --> 00:04:32,356
and let's discuss this
while I record it.
126
00:04:32,358 --> 00:04:33,991
Skip, I am not
coming on your podcast.
127
00:04:33,993 --> 00:04:35,659
Come on, Marshall.
128
00:04:36,461 --> 00:04:38,862
Please, just do it.
129
00:04:38,864 --> 00:04:40,363
Just do it, man.
130
00:04:41,999 --> 00:04:43,233
I'll make it the last one.
131
00:04:43,235 --> 00:04:45,468
I could really use you
to goose my ratings.
132
00:04:45,470 --> 00:04:46,536
This could really
put me over the top
133
00:04:46,538 --> 00:04:48,471
in the urban market.
134
00:04:48,473 --> 00:04:49,706
That means black.
135
00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:51,675
Please, Marshall.
136
00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:56,746
Okay, fine.
137
00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:58,314
I will answer
a couple of questions
138
00:04:58,316 --> 00:05:00,383
so long as this is your
last episode.
139
00:05:03,286 --> 00:05:06,122
(Quietly):
Talk into this mic.
140
00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:08,758
And we're back.
141
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,827
My guest is Marshall Malloy.
142
00:05:11,829 --> 00:05:13,262
(Music playing)
143
00:05:13,264 --> 00:05:16,699
SKIP (Recording): ♪ Live
from the Lincoln bedroom.♪
144
00:05:16,701 --> 00:05:20,669
(Mouthing along to recording)
It's Skip Gilchrist.
145
00:05:20,671 --> 00:05:21,904
Boom.
146
00:05:22,506 --> 00:05:25,540
(Stomping footsteps approaching)
147
00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:26,541
Oh, boy.
148
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:27,743
Photography?
149
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,344
What, was finger painting full?
150
00:05:29,346 --> 00:05:31,346
Marigold and I
had a really good talk.
151
00:05:31,348 --> 00:05:33,348
And we arrived at the right
decision for her.
152
00:05:33,350 --> 00:05:34,950
You got played, Emily.
153
00:05:34,952 --> 00:05:37,085
I most certainly did not.
154
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:40,154
She explained her newfound
passion for photography
155
00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:41,289
and her desire to balance it
156
00:05:41,291 --> 00:05:43,157
against a challenging course load.
157
00:05:43,159 --> 00:05:44,826
You got played.
158
00:05:44,828 --> 00:05:46,394
We shouldn't force her.
159
00:05:46,396 --> 00:05:47,362
Maybe she doesn't like math.
160
00:05:47,364 --> 00:05:48,796
Nobody likes math.
161
00:05:48,798 --> 00:05:50,698
I don't even like math
and I love it.
162
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:51,800
Well, you sound insane.
163
00:05:51,802 --> 00:05:53,801
Emily, of course Marigold
164
00:05:53,803 --> 00:05:54,969
is going to choose the easier thing.
165
00:05:54,971 --> 00:05:56,404
That's what kids do.
166
00:05:56,406 --> 00:05:58,873
And you know all those smart
kids she used to hang out with?
167
00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:00,575
Well, they are gone; poof.
168
00:06:00,877 --> 00:06:02,710
But that's okay because the
kids in regular algebra
169
00:06:02,712 --> 00:06:03,811
will teach her how to smoke.
170
00:06:03,813 --> 00:06:05,579
She wants to take photography.
171
00:06:05,581 --> 00:06:07,515
It's okay to let
her follow her bliss.
172
00:06:07,517 --> 00:06:09,216
Bliss...
That's a good stripper name.
173
00:06:09,218 --> 00:06:10,351
Maybe she could use that.
174
00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:12,586
(Bottles rattling)
175
00:06:12,988 --> 00:06:14,088
Hey, guys.
176
00:06:15,090 --> 00:06:16,622
Just having a
little snack attack.
177
00:06:16,624 --> 00:06:20,159
Dad, you agree that Marigold
has to aim high, right?
178
00:06:20,161 --> 00:06:21,828
Yeah, sure.
179
00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:23,564
But you also agree
that it's important for her
180
00:06:23,566 --> 00:06:25,065
to explore her interests.
181
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:26,834
How did I get myself surrounded?
I'm a marine.
182
00:06:26,836 --> 00:06:29,870
Look, I don't want to get in the
middle of this.
183
00:06:29,872 --> 00:06:32,039
You both love Marigold.
184
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:33,640
I love Marigold...
185
00:06:33,642 --> 00:06:35,809
Is that Marigold over there?
186
00:06:36,311 --> 00:06:37,810
No, not biting?
187
00:06:37,812 --> 00:06:39,912
Dad, what's it going to be?
188
00:06:39,914 --> 00:06:40,981
- Pick a side.
- Why?
189
00:06:41,083 --> 00:06:43,249
You're both making such
incredible points.
190
00:06:43,251 --> 00:06:44,417
And whoever loses,
191
00:06:44,419 --> 00:06:45,518
Marigold wins.
192
00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:48,254
I am Dale Gilchrist,
and I approve this message.
193
00:06:51,625 --> 00:06:52,992
(Sighs) You know what, Emily,
194
00:06:52,994 --> 00:06:54,794
if photography
is Marigold's passion,
195
00:06:54,796 --> 00:06:56,362
then that's what
she should pursue.
196
00:06:56,364 --> 00:06:57,463
I'm fine with it.
197
00:06:58,265 --> 00:07:00,000
I'm so not fine with it.
198
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:01,734
So, then I
opened the briefcase,
199
00:07:01,736 --> 00:07:03,235
and it's filled
with croissants,
200
00:07:03,237 --> 00:07:05,605
but the joke is on me because
the French ambassador
201
00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:07,873
ate my talking points
for breakfast.
202
00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:10,710
(Laughing)
203
00:07:12,045 --> 00:07:13,980
Delightful.
204
00:07:14,482 --> 00:07:18,250
If you're just joining us,
my guest is Marshall Malloy;
205
00:07:18,252 --> 00:07:19,551
our topic: Life.
206
00:07:19,553 --> 00:07:21,386
Skip,
this is actually really fun.
207
00:07:21,388 --> 00:07:23,655
Man, I-I've been working for
your father for 12 years,
208
00:07:23,657 --> 00:07:25,057
and this is the first time
209
00:07:25,059 --> 00:07:26,725
anybody has ask me a question
about me.
210
00:07:26,727 --> 00:07:28,327
Tell us about
those early years.
211
00:07:28,329 --> 00:07:29,795
A young person of color,
212
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:32,030
struggling
on the gritty streets of...
213
00:07:32,032 --> 00:07:33,665
- Lake Tahoe.
- Uh-huh.
214
00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:35,868
Right out of high school I
started interning for your dad
215
00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:37,169
and he has kept me busy ever
since.
216
00:07:37,171 --> 00:07:39,071
Fascinating.
Take us there.
217
00:07:39,073 --> 00:07:41,006
Well, your dad was a
congressman,
218
00:07:41,008 --> 00:07:43,809
and one of my first tasks was
writing letters on his behalf.
219
00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:45,911
You've opened the door,
now pull back the curtain.
220
00:07:45,913 --> 00:07:48,213
Well, congressman are
extremely busy.
221
00:07:48,215 --> 00:07:50,816
So, they'll often have staffers
write their correspondence
222
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,851
and then sign their letters with
an auto-pen.
223
00:07:52,853 --> 00:07:54,620
Robot pens.
Are they sentient?
224
00:07:54,622 --> 00:07:56,021
Can they be defeated?
225
00:07:56,023 --> 00:07:58,891
As you know,
swords are useless against them.
226
00:07:58,893 --> 00:08:00,425
Moving on.
227
00:08:00,427 --> 00:08:02,294
Marshall, I'd love to hear your
impressions
228
00:08:02,296 --> 00:08:05,230
of a young Skip Gilchrist.
229
00:08:05,232 --> 00:08:06,698
Oh, if I recall,
the summer I started interning
230
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:08,100
you were 13 years old
231
00:08:08,102 --> 00:08:10,635
and you were having a hard time
at summer camp.
232
00:08:10,637 --> 00:08:11,769
Your dad said that
233
00:08:11,771 --> 00:08:13,071
you were just miserable.
234
00:08:13,073 --> 00:08:15,707
Oh, my gosh,
I'll never forget that summer.
235
00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:17,475
The only thing rougher than the
toilet paper
236
00:08:17,477 --> 00:08:19,410
was the response to my
one-man performance of Oliver!
237
00:08:19,412 --> 00:08:23,314
I did not
consider myself at home.
238
00:08:23,316 --> 00:08:26,884
But then my dad wrote me the
most amazing letter.
239
00:08:26,886 --> 00:08:30,688
It really made me feel...
A ton better.
240
00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:33,291
Skip, is something wrong?
241
00:08:35,728 --> 00:08:38,396
Oh, right.
242
00:08:38,398 --> 00:08:40,164
Marshall...
243
00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:42,333
Letter...
244
00:08:42,335 --> 00:08:43,868
Dad.
245
00:08:43,870 --> 00:08:45,870
- Hold the phone.
- Skip...
246
00:08:45,872 --> 00:08:49,507
Marshall, hold the damn phone.
247
00:08:49,509 --> 00:08:53,277
Did you write personal letters
for my dad?
248
00:08:53,279 --> 00:08:54,312
Hey, Skip, you want
to talk about area 51?
249
00:08:54,414 --> 00:08:56,381
As a matter of fact,
let's just go there.
250
00:08:56,383 --> 00:08:57,683
We'll take the transporter,
251
00:08:57,685 --> 00:08:59,918
which, as you suspected,
totally exists.
252
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,419
Wait, wait, what's that?
253
00:09:01,421 --> 00:09:03,254
Julie Chen and Lucy Liu
both want to go?
254
00:09:06,058 --> 00:09:07,325
I'll never forget
the day my dad
255
00:09:07,327 --> 00:09:08,961
sent me this letter at camp.
256
00:09:08,963 --> 00:09:12,063
It was like he reached
inside my rib cage
257
00:09:12,065 --> 00:09:13,833
and gave me a pat on the heart.
258
00:09:13,835 --> 00:09:17,068
And at the end of it he wrote,
"Skip, I'm proud of you."
259
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:19,304
- And you kept it, that's great.
- I kept it because
260
00:09:19,306 --> 00:09:21,439
that was the only time my dad
ever said he was proud of me.
261
00:09:21,441 --> 00:09:23,074
The one time.
262
00:09:23,076 --> 00:09:26,511
Marshall,
did you write this letter?
263
00:09:26,513 --> 00:09:27,412
Skip, I can't remember if...
264
00:09:27,514 --> 00:09:29,447
- Did you write this letter?!
- Yes.
265
00:09:29,449 --> 00:09:32,417
(Dramatic music plays)
266
00:09:33,119 --> 00:09:34,819
(Music stops)
267
00:09:34,821 --> 00:09:36,687
We'll be right back.
268
00:09:41,590 --> 00:09:43,490
And we are back
with the Marhsall Malloy
269
00:09:43,491 --> 00:09:45,291
who's destroyed my childhood.
270
00:09:45,592 --> 00:09:46,741
Skip, I wasn't
trying to destroy anything.
271
00:09:46,743 --> 00:09:48,676
I was just doing my job.
272
00:09:48,678 --> 00:09:50,912
"And, so, Skip, no matter how
many swirlies you get,
273
00:09:50,914 --> 00:09:53,348
"or how many times they push you
off the pier
274
00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:55,983
"into the cold, uncaring water
of Lake Minikani,
275
00:09:55,985 --> 00:09:57,785
know that you are never truly
alone."
276
00:09:57,787 --> 00:09:59,154
Now that is some good stuff
277
00:09:59,156 --> 00:10:01,756
that your father should have
written you himself.
278
00:10:01,758 --> 00:10:04,058
Again, really sorry.
279
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,261
Sorry isn't enough, Marshall.
280
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,863
My dad entrusted
my spiritual well-being...
281
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:11,499
Nay, the very molding of my
character... to an employee.
282
00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:12,768
Well, an intern.
283
00:10:15,838 --> 00:10:17,772
Uh, uh, and we'll be right back
284
00:10:17,774 --> 00:10:19,240
with the best of Skip.
285
00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:26,314
BECCA:
Behold, Marigold,
286
00:10:26,716 --> 00:10:28,482
an hour from now this room
will be filled
287
00:10:28,484 --> 00:10:31,218
with the greatest minds in math
and science.
288
00:10:31,220 --> 00:10:33,320
They'll receive trophies and
accolades
289
00:10:33,322 --> 00:10:34,755
and a peanut-free lunch.
290
00:10:34,757 --> 00:10:36,557
You're wasting your time.
291
00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,892
Emily already told me I don't
have to take honors algebra.
292
00:10:38,894 --> 00:10:40,627
I'm not hear to tell
you you have to take it.
293
00:10:40,629 --> 00:10:43,663
I am here to show you
that you want to take it.
294
00:10:43,665 --> 00:10:45,099
Now, meet Kayla.
295
00:10:45,401 --> 00:10:46,933
She's who you could be one day.
296
00:10:46,935 --> 00:10:48,135
(Robot voice):
Take me to your leader.
297
00:10:48,137 --> 00:10:50,237
Who is also your father.
298
00:10:50,239 --> 00:10:52,572
(Laughs)
299
00:10:52,574 --> 00:10:54,140
- Nope.
- I'm just kidding.
300
00:10:54,142 --> 00:10:55,508
It's nice to meet you.
301
00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:56,843
I thought you two
might hang out.
302
00:10:56,845 --> 00:10:58,211
Talk about all the cool stuff
you're into
303
00:10:58,213 --> 00:10:59,679
and how for Kayla, that's math.
304
00:10:59,681 --> 00:11:00,747
And bugs.
305
00:11:00,749 --> 00:11:02,448
Oh, Kayla, shut up.
306
00:11:02,450 --> 00:11:04,317
(Sighs)
307
00:11:05,119 --> 00:11:06,819
Marigold, wait.
308
00:11:06,821 --> 00:11:08,754
If you're trying to bribe me,
at least introduce me
309
00:11:08,756 --> 00:11:09,922
to somebody cool or famous
310
00:11:09,924 --> 00:11:10,990
- or something.
- Fine!
311
00:11:10,992 --> 00:11:13,192
Not that I'm trying
to bribe you,
312
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,794
but who would it take
to impress-slash-bribe you?
313
00:11:15,796 --> 00:11:17,863
Or do you maybe want
to hang out with Kayla more?
314
00:11:17,865 --> 00:11:19,064
She's pretty cool.
315
00:11:19,066 --> 00:11:20,733
So she said, "there's no
316
00:11:20,735 --> 00:11:22,468
e-to-the-pi-I in team."
317
00:11:22,470 --> 00:11:25,304
And I said, "stop
being negative."
318
00:11:25,306 --> 00:11:26,739
(Girls laughing)
319
00:11:26,741 --> 00:11:29,475
Yeah, maybe we should
just talk cash.
320
00:11:29,777 --> 00:11:31,677
Dark times here
at the Gilchrist White House.
321
00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:33,345
My dad never said
he was proud of me.
322
00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:35,013
What else is a lie?
323
00:11:35,015 --> 00:11:37,716
Maybe he doesn't think I look
like a young Joe Namath.
324
00:11:37,918 --> 00:11:40,051
Maybe that's not a fat mirror
in the master bath.
325
00:11:40,053 --> 00:11:42,654
Xander, how do you deal
with the fact
326
00:11:42,656 --> 00:11:43,955
that dad's never said
he's proud of you?
327
00:11:43,957 --> 00:11:46,091
He told me last week.
328
00:11:46,093 --> 00:11:48,360
(Yells)
329
00:11:50,029 --> 00:11:51,830
You tried to bribe her?
330
00:11:52,232 --> 00:11:53,731
I succeeded in bribing her.
331
00:11:53,733 --> 00:11:55,199
All we have to do
is get Hope solo.
332
00:11:55,201 --> 00:11:56,000
We need her
333
00:11:56,002 --> 00:11:57,335
at the White House
by 4:00,
334
00:11:57,337 --> 00:11:58,936
after which Marigold
will take honors algebra.
335
00:11:58,938 --> 00:12:02,373
Now, Hope is in Mexico City
today, so we may need
336
00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:04,542
Air Force One...
You look angry.
337
00:12:05,044 --> 00:12:07,645
I can't believe
you went behind my back.
338
00:12:07,647 --> 00:12:10,114
Well, only after you failed...
I waited for you to fail first.
339
00:12:10,116 --> 00:12:11,282
Everything okay?
340
00:12:11,284 --> 00:12:12,783
- Hell no.
- Absolutely not.
341
00:12:12,785 --> 00:12:14,118
Great.
342
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,719
Let's hand out some awards.
343
00:12:21,526 --> 00:12:23,327
Today, we are
344
00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:26,196
celebrating the achievements
of 20 bright, talented
345
00:12:26,198 --> 00:12:27,631
young women, who thankfully
346
00:12:27,633 --> 00:12:29,533
had parents who pushed
them to do
347
00:12:29,535 --> 00:12:32,202
- their best in math and science...
- Subjects which
348
00:12:32,204 --> 00:12:34,938
happen to capture their passion.
349
00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,640
The key ingredient to success,
350
00:12:36,642 --> 00:12:38,475
whether it's the sciences or...
351
00:12:38,777 --> 00:12:39,943
Let's say photography.
352
00:12:39,945 --> 00:12:41,178
Well, photography
probably isn't
353
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:42,879
the best example since
354
00:12:42,881 --> 00:12:45,549
it's something you can master
by downloading a 99-cent app.
355
00:12:45,551 --> 00:12:47,751
There's no app
for Pythagoras, girls.
356
00:12:47,753 --> 00:12:50,052
- It's actually called a calculator.
- The point is
357
00:12:50,054 --> 00:12:51,120
ask yourself,
358
00:12:51,122 --> 00:12:53,723
is my passion worthy
of my passion?
359
00:12:53,825 --> 00:12:55,291
And if your passion
is photography,
360
00:12:55,293 --> 00:12:56,459
then the answer is no.
361
00:12:56,461 --> 00:12:59,662
Your family gives some
really weird speeches.
362
00:12:59,664 --> 00:13:01,163
Yeah, they're fighting
about me,
363
00:13:01,165 --> 00:13:03,566
but they're not exactly
fighting about me.
364
00:13:03,568 --> 00:13:06,469
I get it... my mom and dad
give me grief all the time.
365
00:13:06,471 --> 00:13:08,004
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
366
00:13:08,006 --> 00:13:09,438
You kind of seem
like the perfect kid.
367
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,706
I burn things.
368
00:13:10,708 --> 00:13:12,675
EMILY: Nobody grows up
and ends up saying,
369
00:13:12,677 --> 00:13:14,010
"oh, I'm so glad
I took all that math."
370
00:13:14,012 --> 00:13:15,177
BECCA:
I do, every day.
371
00:13:15,179 --> 00:13:17,079
My point is trophies are great,
372
00:13:17,081 --> 00:13:19,248
but you can't take them
with you when you die.
373
00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:20,583
The Egyptians did.
374
00:13:20,585 --> 00:13:21,551
And now,
375
00:13:21,553 --> 00:13:23,019
instead of this, uh,
376
00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:25,421
please welcome the President
of the United States.
377
00:13:25,423 --> 00:13:26,956
(Applause)
378
00:13:26,958 --> 00:13:28,558
Thank you, Emily.
379
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:29,725
Thank you, Becca.
380
00:13:29,727 --> 00:13:31,661
Wow.
381
00:13:32,263 --> 00:13:33,795
What do you say after all that?
382
00:13:33,797 --> 00:13:36,398
You girls have done great work
on your projects.
383
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,900
I'm so proud
384
00:13:37,902 --> 00:13:39,001
of all of you.
385
00:13:39,003 --> 00:13:40,802
SKIP:
Oh, really?
386
00:13:40,804 --> 00:13:42,204
Huh.
387
00:13:42,206 --> 00:13:43,906
You don't say.
388
00:13:44,608 --> 00:13:45,807
You're proud of a bunch
of little girls
389
00:13:45,809 --> 00:13:47,108
you don't even know.
390
00:13:47,110 --> 00:13:48,910
- How neat.
- Is he supposed to speak, too?
391
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,078
That's a mistake.
392
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,313
- I'm on it.
- Hey, dad.
393
00:13:52,315 --> 00:13:54,449
Is this a Q and A 'cause boy,
394
00:13:54,451 --> 00:13:55,917
do I have a Q for your A.
395
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,819
Ladies and gentlemen,
do not believe
396
00:13:57,821 --> 00:14:00,388
a word this man says
because chances are
397
00:14:00,390 --> 00:14:02,391
he didn't make up any
of those words himself.
398
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:06,795
For President Dale Gilchrist
is an outsourcer
399
00:14:06,797 --> 00:14:08,563
of fatherly love.
400
00:14:08,565 --> 00:14:09,597
Oh!
401
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,599
Let's multiply, huh?
402
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:14,936
The only thing being
multiplied here are lies!
403
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:16,604
MARSHALL:
Skip.
404
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:17,639
It won't rip.
405
00:14:17,641 --> 00:14:19,607
We need to wrap it up now.
Give me this.
406
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,609
- Why won't it rip?
- Just give me...
407
00:14:27,652 --> 00:14:30,053
All right, there are a
lot of fires to put out.
408
00:14:30,054 --> 00:14:30,954
Let's do this.
409
00:14:30,955 --> 00:14:33,855
Marshall, Skip is upset about
that letter situation.
410
00:14:33,857 --> 00:14:35,556
How can we contain it?
411
00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:37,692
Actually, sir, he wants you
to apologize on his podcast.
412
00:14:37,694 --> 00:14:38,926
He says you're a "get."
413
00:14:38,928 --> 00:14:40,661
- Fine.
- And he's also demanding
414
00:14:40,663 --> 00:14:42,964
two bags of potato chips and
if the word "baked" appears
415
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:45,566
anywhere on the packaging he
will quote, "go bo-nanners."
416
00:14:45,568 --> 00:14:46,768
Moving on.
417
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:47,802
Emily, Becca,
418
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,370
that was a real
debacle back there.
419
00:14:49,372 --> 00:14:51,272
You two need
to figure this out.
420
00:14:51,274 --> 00:14:52,473
She's letting Marigold
squander her future.
421
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,841
She needs to understand
who the parent is here.
422
00:14:53,943 --> 00:14:55,276
All right, maybe
423
00:14:55,278 --> 00:14:56,277
it's time you two had
424
00:14:56,279 --> 00:14:57,912
a third party weigh in.
425
00:14:57,914 --> 00:15:00,881
You know, someone to listen in
who cares about both of you.
426
00:15:00,883 --> 00:15:02,483
Yes, I think maybe we're there.
427
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,418
I agreed more quickly
but did not verbalize it.
428
00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:05,486
Great.
429
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,121
- Marshall is your man.
- What?
430
00:15:08,123 --> 00:15:09,790
You really screwed me
with this podcast thing,
431
00:15:09,792 --> 00:15:10,991
so good luck, kid.
432
00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:21,401
- Hey, Xander.
- You got the stuff?
433
00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:23,604
Yeah, uh, chips, yeah.
434
00:15:23,606 --> 00:15:26,240
Here you go.
435
00:15:26,242 --> 00:15:27,975
These check out.
436
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:30,344
Bring him in.
437
00:15:36,118 --> 00:15:38,851
Listen, Skip, I'm really sorry...
438
00:15:38,853 --> 00:15:40,252
Bup, bup, bup.
439
00:15:40,254 --> 00:15:42,554
Don't tell it to me.
440
00:15:42,556 --> 00:15:44,623
Tell it to the people.
441
00:15:51,398 --> 00:15:54,600
With me now
for the next four hours,
442
00:15:54,602 --> 00:15:56,735
President Dale Gilchrist.
443
00:15:56,737 --> 00:15:58,937
And that is why Marigold should
have the freedom to follow
444
00:15:58,939 --> 00:16:01,473
- her passion.
- Except she needs discipline.
445
00:16:01,475 --> 00:16:03,909
Hey, I didn't interrupt you.
446
00:16:03,911 --> 00:16:05,377
Actually I have
a 30-second rebuttal here.
447
00:16:05,379 --> 00:16:06,945
Actually this debate is over.
448
00:16:06,947 --> 00:16:08,346
- What?
- I have a life outside
449
00:16:08,348 --> 00:16:10,048
of this place...
I'm in a kickball league.
450
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:12,250
Okay, then who won the debate?
451
00:16:12,252 --> 00:16:15,487
Yup, yup, I'm gonna
choose a winner.
452
00:16:15,489 --> 00:16:17,556
- Who won, Marshall?
- All right, fine.
453
00:16:17,558 --> 00:16:19,424
Although it was difficult,
the winner is...
454
00:16:20,726 --> 00:16:21,792
Hi, guys.
455
00:16:21,794 --> 00:16:22,893
So, remember
that algebra thing?
456
00:16:22,895 --> 00:16:25,529
- Sure.
- Uh, yeah, rings a bell.
457
00:16:25,531 --> 00:16:27,664
Well, it turns out I can take
458
00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:29,600
both that and photography.
459
00:16:29,602 --> 00:16:31,869
I had read the schedule wrong.
460
00:16:33,605 --> 00:16:35,505
So, see you.
461
00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:39,843
So, who would've won?
462
00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:42,045
- Me, right?
- Seriously?
463
00:16:42,047 --> 00:16:43,580
You want me to rule
464
00:16:43,582 --> 00:16:45,515
on an already-resolved
middle school scheduling issue?
465
00:16:45,517 --> 00:16:47,618
- Absolutely.
- Yes.
466
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:49,853
All right, fine...
I'm a little short on time,
467
00:16:49,855 --> 00:16:51,722
so you'll have to imagine me
saying "with all due respect"
468
00:16:51,724 --> 00:16:53,090
before most of this.
469
00:16:53,092 --> 00:16:55,392
Becca, you are not
the parent here.
470
00:16:55,394 --> 00:16:58,195
Although you may have helped
raise Marigold in the past,
471
00:16:58,197 --> 00:16:59,630
it was petty of you to undercut
472
00:16:59,632 --> 00:17:01,565
Emily's authority.
And you,
473
00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:04,534
you are the First Lady of
the United States of America,
474
00:17:04,536 --> 00:17:07,838
and you just told a group of
math students that math sucks.
475
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,773
You both acted like children
476
00:17:09,775 --> 00:17:12,809
in front of the children who you
were supposed to be inspiring.
477
00:17:12,811 --> 00:17:14,845
So, the point is
478
00:17:14,847 --> 00:17:16,780
nobody won. (Laughs)
479
00:17:16,782 --> 00:17:18,448
You both lost.
480
00:17:21,485 --> 00:17:22,852
With all due respect.
481
00:17:24,255 --> 00:17:25,989
You wrote a fake
letter to Skip.
482
00:17:25,991 --> 00:17:28,024
Yeah, nice fake letter,
Marshall.
483
00:17:29,193 --> 00:17:31,194
I'm going to kickball.
484
00:17:35,099 --> 00:17:36,900
You hungry?
485
00:17:36,902 --> 00:17:38,901
I could eat.
486
00:17:39,103 --> 00:17:40,635
SKIP: Next question,
Mr. President.
487
00:17:41,005 --> 00:17:43,371
- Dad, may I call you dad?
-Of course.
488
00:17:44,508 --> 00:17:46,408
Name your favorite movie,
and as a follow up,
489
00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:48,110
compare and contrast it
490
00:17:48,112 --> 00:17:49,911
to Goonies, unless,
of course, it is Goonies,
491
00:17:49,913 --> 00:17:51,780
in which case you are correct.
492
00:17:51,782 --> 00:17:53,882
Skip, I know why I'm here...
Let's get to it.
493
00:17:53,884 --> 00:17:55,550
Let's.
494
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,720
Name me one time that
you were actually proud of me.
495
00:18:04,227 --> 00:18:07,362
Commando... My favorite
movie is Commando.
496
00:18:14,312 --> 00:18:17,179
- Marshall.
- He may have a point.
497
00:18:17,213 --> 00:18:19,848
- We do fight all the time.
- It's not good.
498
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:22,150
How about this?
499
00:18:23,184 --> 00:18:25,853
How about we each say
something that we could do
500
00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:27,688
to make our
relationship better.
501
00:18:27,722 --> 00:18:29,756
- Yes, good.
- Okay.
502
00:18:30,290 --> 00:18:32,359
Well, for me as a parent,
503
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,528
I could be less
threatened by you
504
00:18:34,562 --> 00:18:37,297
and more confident about
my role in our family.
505
00:18:37,331 --> 00:18:38,999
(Sighs)
506
00:18:39,533 --> 00:18:41,634
I'm gonna be a horrible mom.
507
00:18:41,768 --> 00:18:43,636
Oh, I'm not sure you
understood the rules.
508
00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:45,338
What are you talking about?
509
00:18:45,372 --> 00:18:46,739
You're gonna be a great mom.
510
00:18:46,773 --> 00:18:49,675
Would a great mom bribe
her child to take math
511
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:51,978
while crapping all over
her artistic impulses?
512
00:18:55,315 --> 00:18:57,216
I mean, who's a great mom?
513
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:59,818
Oh, God, my motherly
instincts suck.
514
00:18:59,853 --> 00:19:01,620
Come on, this is about us.
515
00:19:01,655 --> 00:19:03,422
We were both trying
to do what was best
516
00:19:03,456 --> 00:19:06,892
and let's face it, we're
both very opinionated.
517
00:19:07,126 --> 00:19:09,995
And ambitious, and assertive,
518
00:19:10,029 --> 00:19:12,297
and smart and we
don't suffer fools.
519
00:19:12,331 --> 00:19:16,001
So... so you're saying that we
fight all the time because
520
00:19:16,035 --> 00:19:18,453
- we're both...
- Fantastic, yeah.
521
00:19:18,987 --> 00:19:21,089
So don't worry about
your mom skills.
522
00:19:21,123 --> 00:19:22,724
You already helped raise
Xander and Marigold.
523
00:19:22,758 --> 00:19:24,425
And Skip.
524
00:19:24,460 --> 00:19:27,395
Now I'm gonna help you.
525
00:19:27,429 --> 00:19:28,730
Thanks, Emily.
526
00:19:28,764 --> 00:19:29,731
Yeah.
527
00:19:29,765 --> 00:19:30,965
Or should I say Nana?
528
00:19:32,167 --> 00:19:34,802
No...no, no, no, no.
529
00:19:34,836 --> 00:19:36,403
Dad, just answer the question.
530
00:19:36,938 --> 00:19:38,739
All right, fine.
531
00:19:38,774 --> 00:19:41,242
You want to know some times
when I was proud of you?
532
00:19:41,277 --> 00:19:44,878
The t-ball championship
when you were eight.
533
00:19:44,913 --> 00:19:47,280
The time you were
Kenickie in Grease.
534
00:19:47,315 --> 00:19:50,049
And your set at that
open mic last year.
535
00:19:50,084 --> 00:19:52,386
But, dad, my strikeout lost
us the t-ball championship,
536
00:19:52,421 --> 00:19:54,221
I fell off the stage in Grease,
537
00:19:54,256 --> 00:19:57,290
and I fell off the stage again
at that open mic.
538
00:19:57,625 --> 00:19:59,859
How do you strikeout
in t-ball?
539
00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:01,327
- Xander.
- Those were all failures.
540
00:20:01,362 --> 00:20:03,063
How could be proud
of me for those?
541
00:20:03,097 --> 00:20:06,399
You might get knocked down
but you get right back up.
542
00:20:06,434 --> 00:20:07,467
So, why don't you ever say it?
543
00:20:07,501 --> 00:20:08,868
I'm sorry, I'm just not
544
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:10,236
one of those dads who goes
around saying,
545
00:20:10,271 --> 00:20:12,172
"I'm proud of you"
all the time.
546
00:20:12,206 --> 00:20:13,506
But that doesn't mean
that I don't
547
00:20:13,541 --> 00:20:15,709
believe in you, because
548
00:20:15,743 --> 00:20:17,677
I do.
549
00:20:17,712 --> 00:20:19,112
I guess that makes sense.
550
00:20:19,146 --> 00:20:20,780
You know, this
whole letter thing
551
00:20:20,815 --> 00:20:22,883
reminded me of something.
552
00:20:23,617 --> 00:20:26,653
A letter that you wrote
to me from camp
553
00:20:26,687 --> 00:20:28,621
that summer about how you
554
00:20:28,656 --> 00:20:31,190
refused to quit even though
the camp was tough
555
00:20:31,224 --> 00:20:32,691
and those kids were mean.
556
00:20:32,726 --> 00:20:35,227
I can't believe you remember
that letter.
557
00:20:35,262 --> 00:20:38,631
I didn't just remember it.
558
00:20:38,665 --> 00:20:39,965
I kept it.
559
00:20:41,968 --> 00:20:43,736
Dad?
560
00:20:43,770 --> 00:20:46,439
This is a podcast, please
describe what's happening here.
561
00:20:46,473 --> 00:20:51,410
The President is staring at me as though
he's puzzled and slightly impatient
562
00:20:51,445 --> 00:20:54,079
which is surely the top note,
563
00:20:54,114 --> 00:20:56,315
but underneath that is a new era
564
00:20:56,349 --> 00:20:58,684
in our relationship
565
00:20:58,718 --> 00:21:00,119
that can only be consummated
with a hug.
566
00:21:00,153 --> 00:21:02,688
I'm moving in...
Xander, cue the music.
567
00:21:02,722 --> 00:21:03,923
No, no.
568
00:21:03,957 --> 00:21:06,091
I am now hugging the President.
569
00:21:06,126 --> 00:21:08,360
He is slowly
570
00:21:08,395 --> 00:21:10,262
and reluctantly putting
his arms around me.
571
00:21:10,297 --> 00:21:13,499
He's patting me one,
two, three times.
572
00:21:13,533 --> 00:21:14,667
Oh!
573
00:21:14,701 --> 00:21:16,302
What's that I'm detecting?
574
00:21:16,336 --> 00:21:18,370
A slight stroking of his hand.
575
00:21:18,405 --> 00:21:19,872
He's now pulling away.
576
00:21:19,906 --> 00:21:21,507
He's now trying
to get out of the hug.
577
00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:23,108
Uh, good luck with that, dad.
578
00:21:23,143 --> 00:21:24,443
DALE:
Skip, Skip, please.
579
00:21:24,478 --> 00:21:27,146
SKIP:
Shh! Don't struggle.
580
00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:29,381
What a moment.
581
00:21:29,416 --> 00:21:31,150
Thank you for listening.
582
00:21:31,151 --> 00:21:34,451
sync and corrections by bellows
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