1 00:00:00,594 --> 00:00:02,058 Earl, can you break some 20's? 2 00:00:02,059 --> 00:00:03,390 The big spenders at table two 3 00:00:03,391 --> 00:00:05,189 wanna split their $11 check three ways, 4 00:00:05,190 --> 00:00:08,687 even though one person did all the eating. 5 00:00:08,688 --> 00:00:13,449 I was in a three-way once. Same thing happened. 6 00:00:17,714 --> 00:00:20,245 Max, table ten would like the check. 7 00:00:20,246 --> 00:00:22,642 And don't forget to pick up customer comment card. 8 00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:24,708 Customers very important. 9 00:00:24,709 --> 00:00:26,507 It's all about the fans. 10 00:00:26,508 --> 00:00:29,571 Yeah, I'm not a fan of hearing what people have to say. 11 00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:31,536 For instance, what's happening right now... 12 00:00:31,537 --> 00:00:33,168 Not a fan. 13 00:00:33,169 --> 00:00:36,233 Max, feedback from customers is very important business tool. 14 00:00:36,234 --> 00:00:40,030 Perhaps we'll pump the brakes on sour waitress attitude. 15 00:00:40,031 --> 00:00:42,495 There's only one tool that can change my 'tude, 16 00:00:42,496 --> 00:00:43,927 But I'm gonna need two double-a batteries. 17 00:00:43,928 --> 00:00:47,058 And a 20-minute break. 18 00:00:47,059 --> 00:00:49,489 ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ 19 00:00:51,023 --> 00:00:57,083 ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ 20 00:00:57,084 --> 00:00:58,582 Welcome, everyone. 21 00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:00,314 Thanks for coming to very important. 22 00:01:00,315 --> 00:01:01,747 First official diner meeting. 23 00:01:01,748 --> 00:01:05,510 This ain't right, man. 2:00 A.M. starts Earl time. 24 00:01:05,511 --> 00:01:06,776 Earl, here's your brandy. 25 00:01:06,777 --> 00:01:10,606 Okay, we're good now. 26 00:01:10,607 --> 00:01:12,805 If I knew we were gonna have staff meetings after work, 27 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:16,169 I would've taken job at T.G.I. Friday instead. 28 00:01:16,170 --> 00:01:19,433 Over there, they roll fast and loose. 29 00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:21,132 Well, this is how I roll. 30 00:01:21,133 --> 00:01:23,197 Yeah, short and slow. 31 00:01:23,198 --> 00:01:29,160 No, I roll fast and furious. Tokyo drift style. 32 00:01:29,161 --> 00:01:32,723 Han, I'm starting to drift. Can we get to the point? 33 00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:35,355 Max and I still have to get home and bake cupcakes for tomorrow. 34 00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:38,919 We received so many excellent comments from customers tonight. 35 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,717 Okay, first comment. 36 00:01:40,718 --> 00:01:44,082 "dark-haired waitress..." - hey! 37 00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:45,614 "was very rude." 38 00:01:45,615 --> 00:01:48,578 Hey! 39 00:01:48,579 --> 00:01:49,843 Max, customers are giving. 40 00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:51,243 Their honest opinions about diner. 41 00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:53,274 We need to take it seriously. 42 00:01:53,275 --> 00:01:58,370 "I'd like to ride the blonde waitress like a tilt-a-whirl." 43 00:01:58,371 --> 00:02:01,202 Shout out! 44 00:02:01,203 --> 00:02:02,335 Next comment. 45 00:02:02,336 --> 00:02:04,366 "why does cashier wear earphones? 46 00:02:04,367 --> 00:02:06,065 I thought he was a dj." 47 00:02:06,066 --> 00:02:08,563 ♪ go, earl, go, earl ♪ 48 00:02:08,564 --> 00:02:09,795 Holla! 49 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:10,895 Moving on. 50 00:02:10,896 --> 00:02:12,760 "this meatloaf tastes stale and dry." 51 00:02:12,761 --> 00:02:16,290 ♪ yeah, oleg yeah, oleg ♪ 52 00:02:16,291 --> 00:02:18,921 It also says that cook could wear deodorant. 53 00:02:18,922 --> 00:02:20,954 And shirt that covers armpit. 54 00:02:20,955 --> 00:02:25,151 - This is on card? - Yes. 55 00:02:25,152 --> 00:02:26,949 You are lying. 56 00:02:26,950 --> 00:02:28,848 Yes. 57 00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:32,445 Remind me never to be a spy with Han. 58 00:02:32,446 --> 00:02:35,609 So this is how you tell me what you think of me? 59 00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:38,440 You hide behind outdated method of feedback? 60 00:02:38,441 --> 00:02:43,470 What, I should've posted twitpic of my face like this? 61 00:02:43,471 --> 00:02:48,766 Maybe I will send you a twitpic of my meatloaf. 62 00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:50,997 Can you twits pick another time to do this? 63 00:02:50,998 --> 00:02:52,363 I've gotta go home. 64 00:02:52,364 --> 00:02:53,995 I have to go home too... 65 00:02:53,996 --> 00:02:56,461 And cut the remaining sleeves off of all my shirts. 66 00:02:56,462 --> 00:02:57,892 And then go buy more shirts. 67 00:02:57,893 --> 00:03:00,024 And cut the sleeves off those shirts. 68 00:03:00,025 --> 00:03:01,356 You must wear sleeves. 69 00:03:01,357 --> 00:03:02,789 Do not tell me what to do. 70 00:03:02,790 --> 00:03:04,987 I was working here when you were still a dumpling. 71 00:03:04,988 --> 00:03:08,385 On your father's chopstick. 72 00:03:08,386 --> 00:03:12,182 Now this is starting to sound like earl time. 73 00:03:20,861 --> 00:03:23,158 - Did it light? - No. 74 00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:25,390 Try another one. The gas is on. 75 00:03:25,391 --> 00:03:28,455 Ah! 76 00:03:28,456 --> 00:03:30,686 Why are we throwing fire at an oven? 77 00:03:30,687 --> 00:03:32,484 Is this a poor people game? 78 00:03:32,485 --> 00:03:34,416 Yeah, it's called light the broken pilot light. 79 00:03:34,417 --> 00:03:36,349 Without blowing our faces off! 80 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,747 This is ridiculous. My heart is pounding. 81 00:03:38,748 --> 00:03:41,445 I didn't know baking cupcakes was an extreme sport. 82 00:03:41,446 --> 00:03:45,575 It's like the deadliest batch. 83 00:03:45,576 --> 00:03:47,107 See? A slight hint of gas in the air. 84 00:03:47,108 --> 00:03:49,872 Makes everything funnier. 85 00:03:49,873 --> 00:03:52,170 Now there's too much gas. 86 00:03:52,171 --> 00:03:53,602 If we threw a math in there now, 87 00:03:53,603 --> 00:03:55,367 I'd be out a nose or a pair or a pair of eyebrows. 88 00:03:55,368 --> 00:03:56,967 And I'm not living through that again. 89 00:03:56,968 --> 00:03:58,632 Again? 90 00:03:58,633 --> 00:03:59,997 When I was a little girl, 91 00:03:59,998 --> 00:04:01,396 I was trying to make a hungry man dinner. 92 00:04:01,397 --> 00:04:02,862 And I lit the pilot light too soon and whoosh! 93 00:04:02,863 --> 00:04:04,627 No eyebrows. 94 00:04:04,628 --> 00:04:06,659 Had to draw them on in magic marker. 95 00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:11,988 Only mexican girls would talk to me. 96 00:04:11,989 --> 00:04:13,553 Max, we have a cupcake business. 97 00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,819 We have to tell the landlord we need a new oven. 98 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,917 We can't ask the landlord for a new oven. 99 00:04:17,918 --> 00:04:20,615 Then he'll ask us stuff like "who are you? 100 00:04:20,616 --> 00:04:21,681 "why is your name not on the lease, 101 00:04:21,682 --> 00:04:23,546 And where's the rent?" 102 00:04:23,547 --> 00:04:25,111 Well, I'll buy us one. 103 00:04:25,112 --> 00:04:27,909 Really? You're gonna buy us a whole oven? 104 00:04:27,910 --> 00:04:32,840 We're so poor I have a sock that I refer to as my good sock. 105 00:04:32,841 --> 00:04:35,737 I've been saving something for an emergency, 106 00:04:35,738 --> 00:04:40,433 Like a burst appendix or a first date bikini wax. 107 00:04:40,434 --> 00:04:41,866 I knew it! 108 00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:43,797 You have a secret stash of your father's missing billions. 109 00:04:43,798 --> 00:04:45,030 We're rich! 110 00:04:45,031 --> 00:04:46,262 Wait, it's other people's money. 111 00:04:46,263 --> 00:04:48,561 Yeah, but I didn't steal it. We're rich! 112 00:04:48,562 --> 00:04:50,926 They're my expensive rings. 113 00:04:50,927 --> 00:04:52,524 So if these are your expensive rings, 114 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:54,123 What's all that other stuff you wear? 115 00:04:54,124 --> 00:04:55,389 Cheaper copies. 116 00:04:55,390 --> 00:04:57,254 You never wear the good stuff out in public. 117 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,719 Got it, kind of like hiding the banana republic. 118 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,584 And wearing the gap. 119 00:05:01,585 --> 00:05:03,183 See how special? 120 00:05:03,184 --> 00:05:06,214 They're all one-of-a-kind from thomas aristotle thomas. 121 00:05:06,215 --> 00:05:07,746 T-a-t. Tat. 122 00:05:07,747 --> 00:05:08,912 What? 123 00:05:08,913 --> 00:05:11,477 Tat rings. You've never heard of tat rings? 124 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:15,873 Oh! Tat rings. No. 125 00:05:15,874 --> 00:05:17,039 I guess it's the kind of thing. 126 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,838 That only people in the know know, you know? 127 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:20,104 No. 128 00:05:20,105 --> 00:05:21,236 Make all the jokes you want, 129 00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:22,668 But I only have to sell one of these. 130 00:05:22,669 --> 00:05:23,967 And I can get us a new oven. 131 00:05:23,968 --> 00:05:25,800 Any ideas what kind we should get? 132 00:05:25,801 --> 00:05:30,695 Uh, yeah, you're not the only one with a secret stash. 133 00:05:30,696 --> 00:05:33,727 It's the Bluestar. 134 00:05:33,728 --> 00:05:35,659 It's the tat rings of ovens. 135 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:37,690 In purple! 136 00:05:37,691 --> 00:05:39,789 That's right, I said purple. 137 00:05:39,790 --> 00:05:42,354 It's the muscle car of ovens. It's bad-ass! 138 00:05:42,355 --> 00:05:44,352 It's so bad-ass when I do karaoke 139 00:05:44,353 --> 00:05:49,615 I change the lyrics from purple rain to purple range. 140 00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:52,379 Great, we'll get this one. 141 00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:53,978 Uh, we can't buy that. It's too expensive. 142 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,810 This is just something you fantasize about. 143 00:05:55,811 --> 00:05:57,343 It's kitchen porn. 144 00:05:57,344 --> 00:05:58,941 Fine. 145 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,607 Tomorrow we'll go to the cash for gold store. 146 00:06:00,608 --> 00:06:04,637 And get a regular oven and get cookin'. 147 00:06:04,638 --> 00:06:07,768 I think the funny gas is gone. 148 00:06:07,769 --> 00:06:09,400 Must be time. I'm going in. 149 00:06:09,401 --> 00:06:12,797 Let me do it, my eyebrows need to waxed anyway. 150 00:06:12,798 --> 00:06:18,060 Hurry up! The gas is on! Throw the match in! 151 00:06:18,061 --> 00:06:22,556 - Did it light? - No, but my foot is on fire. 152 00:06:22,557 --> 00:06:26,154 I'll do it. 153 00:06:34,548 --> 00:06:37,179 You're good. 154 00:06:42,542 --> 00:06:43,907 I'm sorry, but how much longer do we have to wait. 155 00:06:43,908 --> 00:06:45,173 To get cash for our gold? 156 00:06:45,174 --> 00:06:46,839 I told you before I'm on the phone. 157 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,103 Sit down, shut up, don't be rude. 158 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:51,368 I thought she'd be nicer from her picture. 159 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:54,033 On the bus stop bench. 160 00:06:54,034 --> 00:06:56,730 Yeah, and where are the dollar signs? 161 00:06:56,731 --> 00:06:58,930 Let me see, which ring should I sell? 162 00:06:58,931 --> 00:07:00,828 So much history in my lap. 163 00:07:00,829 --> 00:07:04,525 I don't even wanna tell you about the history in my lap. 164 00:07:04,526 --> 00:07:06,890 My father got me this one in london. 165 00:07:06,891 --> 00:07:09,055 I got this one in paris to reward myself. 166 00:07:09,056 --> 00:07:10,687 For not crying during the turbulence. 167 00:07:10,688 --> 00:07:12,985 On the flight to paris. 168 00:07:12,986 --> 00:07:16,782 My mom got me a fresca when she hit me with her car once. 169 00:07:16,783 --> 00:07:18,781 I got this one when I was 18. 170 00:07:18,782 --> 00:07:20,779 It was my very first tat. Okay, stop! 171 00:07:20,780 --> 00:07:23,144 This was a bad idea. Let's get out of here. 172 00:07:23,145 --> 00:07:25,076 I told you before. I'm on the phone! 173 00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:29,473 Sit down, shut up, don't be rude. 174 00:07:29,474 --> 00:07:31,005 I'm only sitting down because look. 175 00:07:31,006 --> 00:07:33,637 She has her hand on a gun that's strapped under the counter. 176 00:07:33,638 --> 00:07:35,868 She is dying to plug us. 177 00:07:35,869 --> 00:07:37,167 Max, what are you talking about? 178 00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:38,865 Why is this a bad idea? 179 00:07:38,866 --> 00:07:42,563 I don't want you sacrificing your precious rings, frodo. 180 00:07:42,564 --> 00:07:43,862 Because if the business doesn't work out, 181 00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,461 It'll be my fault you have nothing. 182 00:07:45,462 --> 00:07:46,760 And call me selfish, 183 00:07:46,761 --> 00:07:49,491 The only life I wanna ruin is my own. 184 00:07:49,492 --> 00:07:51,456 Max, the business will go up and down. 185 00:07:51,457 --> 00:07:52,922 That's natural. 186 00:07:52,923 --> 00:07:55,653 But this ring is about more than the day to day of the business. 187 00:07:55,654 --> 00:07:58,684 It's about us... And our future together. 188 00:07:58,685 --> 00:08:02,082 Yo, did you just ask me to marry you? 189 00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:05,279 You could do worse. 190 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,944 Now, ladies, gold. Now. 191 00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,143 Come on. It's only one ring. 192 00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:12,940 And when it comes to us, I'm in this for the long haul. 193 00:08:12,941 --> 00:08:15,705 Or until this lady shoots us. 194 00:08:15,706 --> 00:08:17,703 - Hi, I'm here to... - come on! Let's go. 195 00:08:17,704 --> 00:08:22,299 Don't push me I'm out of nicorette. 196 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,332 Well, you're all business, aren't you? 197 00:08:24,333 --> 00:08:25,897 I can respect that. 198 00:08:25,898 --> 00:08:27,330 I'd like to exchange a tat ring. 199 00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:30,061 I've never heard of a tat ring. 200 00:08:30,062 --> 00:08:32,558 Thomas aristotle thomas? 201 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:34,058 World-famous designer? 202 00:08:34,059 --> 00:08:38,521 Yeah, talk down to me. That'll make the price better. 203 00:08:38,522 --> 00:08:40,953 All right, I'll weight it. 204 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:42,351 What's that smell? 205 00:08:42,352 --> 00:08:43,817 Is someone making soup in the back? 206 00:08:43,818 --> 00:08:46,082 None of your business. 207 00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:49,912 I will give you $275. 208 00:08:49,913 --> 00:08:52,010 It's worth $2,500. 209 00:08:52,011 --> 00:08:55,075 Where? In 2005? 210 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,874 You're just taking advantage of people. 211 00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:58,539 Because the world economy is crashing. 212 00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:05,567 It's called cash for gold, not sympathy for flat chicks. 213 00:09:05,568 --> 00:09:07,733 You know what? This is inappropriate. 214 00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:09,731 All right, I'd like to see your business license. 215 00:09:09,732 --> 00:09:11,730 Maybe I'll make a call to the chamber of commerce. 216 00:09:11,731 --> 00:09:15,826 - Oh, you will, huh? - Duck! Here comes the gun! 217 00:09:15,827 --> 00:09:18,857 Maybe I'll make a call to my boys in the back. 218 00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:23,920 Sal! Richard! 219 00:09:23,921 --> 00:09:26,918 Oh, hello. Let's get out of here. 220 00:09:26,919 --> 00:09:32,014 Are you sure? Because I'm kinda feeling richard. 221 00:09:35,245 --> 00:09:36,811 Max, I was just in the ladies' room. 222 00:09:36,812 --> 00:09:38,276 And I had a thought. 223 00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:42,206 Why am I doing my lipstick in a mirror that says "die carlos"" 224 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,706 I know how to get the full value of the ring. 225 00:09:43,707 --> 00:09:45,670 We just have to take it to the store where they sell it, 226 00:09:45,671 --> 00:09:47,036 And return it. 227 00:09:47,037 --> 00:09:49,001 Uh, and why didn't that occur to you before? 228 00:09:49,002 --> 00:09:50,200 'cause I don't have the receipt. 229 00:09:50,201 --> 00:09:51,533 And I bought it three years ago... 230 00:09:51,534 --> 00:09:54,997 From another store... In another country. 231 00:09:59,128 --> 00:10:01,625 The customer asked for crust off of a turkey club. 232 00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:04,290 Did they say that or is this something you say. 233 00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:05,789 That they said? 234 00:10:05,790 --> 00:10:07,121 They said it. 235 00:10:07,122 --> 00:10:09,585 But I say I see "screw the bos"" sleeveless tee. 236 00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:11,685 I'm sorry, someone call Ripley's. 237 00:10:11,686 --> 00:10:16,214 There is a small mouse speaking. 238 00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:18,379 And I bet for sure it comes with stinky armpits. 239 00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:23,342 Why don't you see for yourself, ratatouille? 240 00:10:23,343 --> 00:10:25,107 I've gotta go. Fight's starting. 241 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,038 You are stinky. 242 00:10:29,039 --> 00:10:30,970 So stinky my mother in Korea called me and said, 243 00:10:30,971 --> 00:10:33,302 "What is that smell?" 244 00:10:33,303 --> 00:10:36,099 I am surprised you're upset by man smell. 245 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:39,530 Most women like you enjoy it. 246 00:10:39,531 --> 00:10:42,495 Yo, Max, I got 20 bucks on Han. 247 00:10:42,496 --> 00:10:44,992 He's scrappy. 248 00:10:44,993 --> 00:10:46,392 Your english is terrible. 249 00:10:46,393 --> 00:10:48,856 My english is less terrible than your terrible english. 250 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:51,488 What? I couldn't understand a word you said. 251 00:10:51,489 --> 00:10:54,386 What? So sorry I couldn't understand a word you said. 252 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,217 - Excuse me, regular-sized people. 253 00:10:57,218 --> 00:11:02,280 I am on break until he apologizes. 254 00:11:02,281 --> 00:11:03,545 I think the round's over. 255 00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:05,644 I couldn't understand a word they said. 256 00:11:05,645 --> 00:11:07,708 He needs to apologize. I'm the boss. 257 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,506 Don't let him get to you, Han. 258 00:11:10,507 --> 00:11:14,437 Every woman knows size doesn't matter. 259 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:20,999 I like your shirt. 260 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,564 Reminds me of the side of the van I lost my virginity in. 261 00:11:23,565 --> 00:11:26,661 That little man disrespect me. 262 00:11:26,662 --> 00:11:32,557 He insult my food, my english, my "hyjane." 263 00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:34,922 Is there anything I can do to cheer you up? 264 00:11:34,923 --> 00:11:37,986 A hug would help. 265 00:11:37,987 --> 00:11:40,184 If I hug you, will you go back to work? 266 00:11:40,185 --> 00:11:43,182 Yes. 267 00:11:43,183 --> 00:11:45,580 - Two-second hug. I'm going in. 268 00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:49,577 Aww. 269 00:11:53,675 --> 00:11:56,073 How did you do that? Your hands never left my back. 270 00:11:56,074 --> 00:11:59,203 I am david blaine of zippers. 271 00:11:59,204 --> 00:12:01,735 I was trying to cheer you up. 272 00:12:01,736 --> 00:12:05,099 You did. 273 00:12:06,398 --> 00:12:09,329 Wow, it's so surreal being back here. 274 00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:11,294 I grew up here. It was like camp for me. 275 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,392 I learned who all the best designers were, 276 00:12:13,393 --> 00:12:17,157 How to color coordinate, how to ride a bike. 277 00:12:17,158 --> 00:12:19,288 They let you ride a bike here? 278 00:12:19,289 --> 00:12:24,218 Bitch, I owned this piece. 279 00:12:24,219 --> 00:12:25,584 If there's not an iguana in here, 280 00:12:25,585 --> 00:12:28,015 This place is stupid. 281 00:12:28,016 --> 00:12:30,580 Oh, my god. 282 00:12:30,581 --> 00:12:32,844 They are such gorgeous tat rings. 283 00:12:32,845 --> 00:12:35,776 - Thanks! - Hate you! So jealous! 284 00:12:35,777 --> 00:12:40,439 - Thanks! - Bye! 285 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:44,835 Seeing you in your natural habitat is truly disturbing. 286 00:12:44,836 --> 00:12:46,301 Hi! Can I help you? 287 00:12:46,302 --> 00:12:49,365 Hi! I'd like to return a ring I got as a present here. 288 00:12:49,366 --> 00:12:51,097 Tat rings are so amazing. 289 00:12:51,098 --> 00:12:52,530 I can't believe you want to return it. 290 00:12:52,531 --> 00:12:55,161 Well, this one's from a guy I'm no longer with, 291 00:12:55,162 --> 00:12:56,860 So it's painful to even look at. 292 00:12:56,861 --> 00:12:58,126 I understand. 293 00:12:58,127 --> 00:13:00,357 But I couldn't take it back without a receipt. 294 00:13:00,358 --> 00:13:01,956 The thing is he used to hit her. 295 00:13:01,957 --> 00:13:03,788 Max! You did not! 296 00:13:03,789 --> 00:13:06,053 Caroline, it's not your fault. 297 00:13:06,054 --> 00:13:08,185 That's awful. 298 00:13:08,186 --> 00:13:10,184 I understand why you wouldn't want this ring. 299 00:13:10,185 --> 00:13:11,549 I'm sure there's something I can do. 300 00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:16,811 It's not our fault. I mean...Your fault. 301 00:13:20,809 --> 00:13:23,406 Caroline Channing? 302 00:13:23,407 --> 00:13:24,439 Jeffrey! 303 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,904 Surprised to see me working here? 304 00:13:26,905 --> 00:13:28,869 Well, I got fired from that other store. 305 00:13:28,870 --> 00:13:30,635 Whose name I will never mention again. 306 00:13:30,636 --> 00:13:32,966 After last year's cigarette butt incident. 307 00:13:32,967 --> 00:13:34,431 I'm so sorry. 308 00:13:34,432 --> 00:13:37,062 I had no idea those menthol slim 100s were yours. 309 00:13:37,063 --> 00:13:38,794 I just thought so many butts on the ground. 310 00:13:38,795 --> 00:13:41,160 Outside the store was gross, so I said something. 311 00:13:41,161 --> 00:13:43,758 Well, that one comment from the great Caroline Channing. 312 00:13:43,759 --> 00:13:47,055 About those butts fired my little butt. 313 00:13:47,056 --> 00:13:49,487 You'd be happy to know that I quite smoking. 314 00:13:49,488 --> 00:13:52,951 After you got me fired. Couldn't afford it. 315 00:13:52,952 --> 00:13:55,283 I also couldn't afford my gym membership. 316 00:13:55,284 --> 00:13:57,014 Which is why my fired little butt got massive, 317 00:13:57,015 --> 00:14:01,411 Why no one wanted to date me, and why I spent gay pride alone. 318 00:14:01,412 --> 00:14:04,076 Fortunately, I wound up working here. 319 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:07,740 Yeah, it all worked out. Your butt looks tight. 320 00:14:07,741 --> 00:14:09,705 It's halfway there. 321 00:14:09,706 --> 00:14:12,170 So I got the price on the ring. 322 00:14:12,171 --> 00:14:15,534 You're buying a ring? A tat ring? 323 00:14:15,535 --> 00:14:17,133 Actually, I'm returning. 324 00:14:17,134 --> 00:14:20,797 Oh, can I see the receipt? 325 00:14:20,798 --> 00:14:25,559 As manager of the jewelry department, 326 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,291 I couldn't possibly return a ring that you bought. 327 00:14:28,292 --> 00:14:32,021 At least three years ago without a receipt. 328 00:14:32,022 --> 00:14:35,385 You wouldn't want me to lose my job again, would you? 329 00:14:35,386 --> 00:14:39,050 I got this, donna. 330 00:14:39,051 --> 00:14:41,048 And so sorry to hear about your father being a criminal. 331 00:14:41,049 --> 00:14:43,613 And you being penniless and all that ugliness. 332 00:14:43,614 --> 00:14:44,945 But it is kinda karma. 333 00:14:44,946 --> 00:14:47,876 You are where you are now, and I'm back on top. 334 00:14:47,877 --> 00:14:49,842 Look, jeffrey, I know we just met, 335 00:14:49,843 --> 00:14:55,004 But there's no way you're a top. 336 00:14:59,535 --> 00:15:01,233 Now what are we gonna do? 337 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,132 We should hunt down that super fake jealous lady. 338 00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:04,864 Who hates you. 339 00:15:04,865 --> 00:15:06,162 Maybe she'll buy one. 340 00:15:06,163 --> 00:15:07,961 Max, that's brilliant. 341 00:15:07,962 --> 00:15:09,793 If anybody's gonna buy a tat ring, 342 00:15:09,794 --> 00:15:11,525 They're already in the store. 343 00:15:11,526 --> 00:15:13,024 We can have a pop-up sale! 344 00:15:13,025 --> 00:15:14,523 - A pop-up sale? 345 00:15:14,524 --> 00:15:16,189 - You don't know what a pop-up sale is? 346 00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:18,719 You didn't know what a pilot light was. 347 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,952 it's the new trend. 348 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:21,651 Mini stores pop up and sell stuff, 349 00:15:21,652 --> 00:15:22,983 Then they're gone. 350 00:15:22,984 --> 00:15:24,249 That's not a new trend. 351 00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:27,580 Drug dealers have been doing that for years. 352 00:15:27,581 --> 00:15:30,710 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 353 00:15:30,711 --> 00:15:32,709 What are you doing, beautiful mind? 354 00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:34,741 I'm mentally scanning the layout of the store. 355 00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:36,107 For security cameras. 356 00:15:36,108 --> 00:15:37,872 I knew coming here and not going to parks as a child. 357 00:15:37,873 --> 00:15:39,304 Would pay off. 358 00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:41,136 Okay, there's only one place we could pull it off. 359 00:15:41,137 --> 00:15:42,436 Where there are no cameras. 360 00:15:42,437 --> 00:15:43,901 Where? 361 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:47,032 - Pop-up sale in the ladies' room. 362 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,197 That's right, ma'am! 363 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,694 I said pop-up sale in the ladies' room. 364 00:15:51,695 --> 00:15:53,393 I don't do improv. 365 00:15:56,526 --> 00:15:58,723 So did we sell the ring yet? 366 00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,321 Those women weren't our target customers. 367 00:16:00,322 --> 00:16:02,720 We're looking for a very specific type. 368 00:16:02,721 --> 00:16:05,318 Too much style and money to burn. 369 00:16:05,319 --> 00:16:07,849 hold the elevator! 370 00:16:10,515 --> 00:16:12,713 and I love new york! 371 00:16:12,714 --> 00:16:15,577 Pop-up sale in the ladies' room. 372 00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:22,989 I'll take you in two at a time. 373 00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:24,254 Let me go check with my associate. 374 00:16:24,255 --> 00:16:28,118 And I'll be right back for adin and lublubah. 375 00:16:28,119 --> 00:16:29,383 Such a good memory. 376 00:16:29,384 --> 00:16:32,947 Hard to forget such beautiful names. 377 00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:34,046 Ready? 378 00:16:34,047 --> 00:16:36,878 We have a pooper in stall two. 379 00:16:36,879 --> 00:16:40,675 Who shops and plops? I mean, really. 380 00:16:40,676 --> 00:16:44,838 - Trust me, I smell the match. Classic shop and plop cover-up. 381 00:16:44,839 --> 00:16:47,070 Where are the two Kit Kats we got from the vending machine? 382 00:16:47,071 --> 00:16:49,069 I told you I was hungry. 383 00:16:49,070 --> 00:16:51,467 Arabic women expect a gift when they buy something. 384 00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:52,633 Well, stall number two. 385 00:16:52,634 --> 00:16:56,030 Will probably supply a little present. 386 00:16:56,031 --> 00:16:57,596 - Hi, are you here for the pop-up sale? 387 00:16:57,597 --> 00:16:59,128 - No, I just have to pee. - Oh, geez. 388 00:16:59,129 --> 00:17:01,459 Come on, don't waste my time! 389 00:17:01,460 --> 00:17:03,391 One stall's open... in and out! Running a business! 390 00:17:03,392 --> 00:17:06,289 That woman pushed ahead of us. 391 00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:07,621 Do not sell her my tat ring. 392 00:17:07,622 --> 00:17:09,121 It's fun. You're here to pick up. 393 00:17:09,122 --> 00:17:12,717 She's here to drop off. 394 00:17:13,618 --> 00:17:15,116 Open the shop. 395 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,215 We're a good team. 396 00:17:16,216 --> 00:17:17,681 You set 'em up, I knock 'em down. 397 00:17:17,682 --> 00:17:21,544 - Why is? - I don't know, it just is. 398 00:17:21,545 --> 00:17:23,609 Are you here for the pop-up sale? 399 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,508 - A pop-sale in the bathroom? 400 00:17:25,509 --> 00:17:27,739 So lame. So lame. 401 00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:30,004 Caroline? Jen, Robin! 402 00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,304 - Oh, my god. - Oh, my god. 403 00:17:31,305 --> 00:17:34,001 - Oh, my god! - Oh, my god. 404 00:17:34,002 --> 00:17:37,199 - Excuse me. When will pop-up sale start? 405 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,130 We have lunch reservations for five at Four Seasons at 3:00. 406 00:17:41,131 --> 00:17:42,961 Why are you asking me? 407 00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,660 - You two are doing pop-up sale, no? 408 00:17:45,661 --> 00:17:47,158 No. 409 00:17:47,159 --> 00:17:50,556 I have nothing to do with this pop-up sale in the bathroom. 410 00:17:50,557 --> 00:17:51,922 - So lame. - So lame. 411 00:17:51,923 --> 00:17:53,153 So lame! 412 00:17:53,154 --> 00:17:54,486 So lame. 413 00:17:54,487 --> 00:17:55,752 Come to lunch with us. 414 00:17:55,753 --> 00:17:56,784 Oh, I've already eaten. 415 00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,450 Our treat. 416 00:17:58,451 --> 00:17:59,582 We are not taking no for an answer. 417 00:17:59,583 --> 00:18:01,048 They're not taking no for an answer. 418 00:18:01,049 --> 00:18:02,313 Sell the ring. 419 00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:05,677 Where is she going? I thought you two were a team. 420 00:18:05,678 --> 00:18:08,642 Apparently not. 421 00:18:10,708 --> 00:18:12,006 So sorry. 422 00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:14,771 I got caught up in a hostage nicoise situation. 423 00:18:14,772 --> 00:18:15,770 How'd it go? 424 00:18:15,771 --> 00:18:16,969 Did you get full price for the ring? 425 00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:19,700 Oh, do you know me? 426 00:18:19,701 --> 00:18:21,865 Because I could've sworn you didn't know me. 427 00:18:21,866 --> 00:18:24,897 My new friends Adin and Lablueballs. 428 00:18:24,898 --> 00:18:26,295 Thought it was weird that you just bailed on me. 429 00:18:26,296 --> 00:18:28,428 Max, I panicked in the moment. 430 00:18:28,429 --> 00:18:29,926 I didn't want those girls telling everyone 431 00:18:29,927 --> 00:18:32,891 that Caroline Channing was in a bathroom selling her jewelry. 432 00:18:32,892 --> 00:18:35,488 I'm barely back on my feet after the whole scandal. 433 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:39,485 I just couldn't bare it. 434 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,151 Here. 435 00:18:41,152 --> 00:18:42,617 I didn't sell them because I didn't buy the whole 436 00:18:42,618 --> 00:18:45,081 "in it for the long haul" thing from the beginning. 437 00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,813 And I was right because I'm always right. 438 00:18:46,814 --> 00:18:48,979 About people in the long haul. 439 00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:50,677 Max, I'm talking to you. 440 00:18:50,678 --> 00:18:52,742 It's cool. We don't need to talk. 441 00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:59,504 Max, about the rings, I'm sorry. 442 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:00,736 I don't know what else to say. 443 00:19:00,737 --> 00:19:02,235 You don't need to say anything. 444 00:19:02,236 --> 00:19:04,267 You already said a lot of words about the future and us, 445 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:07,065 And then next thing I know, you were "oh, my god!" 446 00:19:07,066 --> 00:19:08,897 Off to lunch with your friends. 447 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,795 Max, I am in this for the long haul. 448 00:19:10,796 --> 00:19:12,694 Isn't there anything I can say to convince you of that? 449 00:19:12,695 --> 00:19:14,859 Nope. And it's fine. 450 00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:16,358 It's not you, it's me. 451 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:17,623 I'm the idiot who actually believed for a minute. 452 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:18,789 That we had a future. 453 00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:20,255 But it's okay. 454 00:19:20,256 --> 00:19:22,620 We'll just keep getting by like we are, for the short haul. 455 00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:24,185 Cool? 456 00:19:24,186 --> 00:19:26,850 Max. 457 00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:36,243 Hey! Hey. 458 00:19:36,244 --> 00:19:39,240 What's that smell? I'm making cupcakes. 459 00:19:39,241 --> 00:19:43,404 - You lit the pilot light? - Didn't have to. Look. 460 00:19:45,636 --> 00:19:48,800 No way! The Bluestar in purple? 461 00:19:48,801 --> 00:19:50,099 What the... how did it get... 462 00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:51,998 How can... how could you afford that? 463 00:19:51,999 --> 00:19:54,030 You sold your tat? Sold them all. 464 00:19:54,031 --> 00:19:57,060 Spent it on the oven, next-day delivery fee and installation. 465 00:19:57,061 --> 00:19:58,659 That woman gave you a better price? 466 00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:00,890 No, she pulled a gun on me. 467 00:20:00,891 --> 00:20:02,423 So I went to every gold store in Brooklyn, 468 00:20:02,424 --> 00:20:04,122 leveraged their offers against each other 469 00:20:04,123 --> 00:20:06,087 until I got enough to buy the Bluestar. 470 00:20:06,088 --> 00:20:08,186 You didn't have to do that. 471 00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:10,850 After what I did, there were no more words. 472 00:20:10,851 --> 00:20:12,315 Only ovens. 473 00:20:12,316 --> 00:20:15,047 And our future means more to me than rings from my past. 474 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:18,511 I told you, I'm in this for the long haul. 475 00:20:18,512 --> 00:20:22,574 For the record, I hated lunch with those girls. 476 00:20:22,575 --> 00:20:26,238 I'd rather split a Kit Kat in a bathroom with you any day. 477 00:20:26,239 --> 00:20:27,870 I'm sorry I wasn't listening. 478 00:20:27,871 --> 00:20:30,702 I was staring at my new boyfriend over there. 479 00:20:30,703 --> 00:20:33,499 I wanna make out with it! 480 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,497 Ooh. Ow! Hot! 481 00:20:37,898 --> 00:20:39,828 There's not a ding! 482 00:20:39,829 --> 00:20:43,792 There's a ding. My rings bought a ding. 483 00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:45,891 You wanna hug me, don't you? 484 00:20:45,892 --> 00:20:48,122 Yeah. 485 00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:50,820 - But you're not gonna. - Yes, I am. 486 00:20:50,821 --> 00:20:55,350 If you unzip my shirt, I'm gonna be pissed! 487 00:20:55,351 --> 00:20:57,748 Impressed, but pissed.