1
00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:02,671
Pick up... chicken breasts.
2
00:00:02,772 --> 00:00:05,808
The way I know you want it,
with the bone in.
3
00:00:07,327 --> 00:00:08,727
We really should
hold a seminar
4
00:00:08,729 --> 00:00:10,712
about sexual harassment
in the workplace.
5
00:00:10,714 --> 00:00:12,932
Why? He's already
so good at it.
6
00:00:12,934 --> 00:00:14,149
I'm serious.
How'd he like it
7
00:00:14,151 --> 00:00:15,901
if we did that to him
every time we ordered?
8
00:00:15,903 --> 00:00:17,552
Well,
let's find out.
9
00:00:17,554 --> 00:00:18,821
Ordering.
10
00:00:18,823 --> 00:00:20,722
One pastrami.
11
00:00:20,724 --> 00:00:22,274
Can you do me a favor,
doll-face?
12
00:00:22,276 --> 00:00:24,893
Make it so big and thick, you
can't get your mouth around it.
13
00:00:24,895 --> 00:00:27,112
Can you do that
for me?
14
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,832
Yes,
and two matzo ball soups,
15
00:00:29,834 --> 00:00:31,000
hold the balls.
16
00:00:31,002 --> 00:00:32,751
Wait,
I'll hold the balls,
17
00:00:32,753 --> 00:00:34,787
you just sit there
and look pretty.
18
00:00:34,789 --> 00:00:38,257
And a cream of...
19
00:00:38,259 --> 00:00:41,343
nope, can't.
Just grossed myself out.
20
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:44,113
When is it
going to get dirty?
21
00:00:58,044 --> 00:00:59,394
Max, come out.
22
00:00:59,396 --> 00:01:01,313
If I came out,
it would not be for you,
23
00:01:01,315 --> 00:01:04,149
it's be for that
hot dragon tattoo girl.
24
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,701
Welcome, board members,
to the very first
25
00:01:06,703 --> 00:01:09,571
financial assessment meeting
of Max's homemade cupcakes.
26
00:01:09,573 --> 00:01:12,607
I was told
there would be a cheese plate.
27
00:01:12,609 --> 00:01:14,125
After five months
in business,
28
00:01:14,127 --> 00:01:16,878
we're showing a profit
of $725.
29
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:18,780
I have to say,
I'm a little disappointed.
30
00:01:18,782 --> 00:01:21,333
Really? 'Cause, dude,
we have so far exceeded
31
00:01:21,335 --> 00:01:23,134
where I thought we'd be
in five months.
32
00:01:23,136 --> 00:01:25,286
Look, we have to find a way
to make more money on the side
33
00:01:25,288 --> 00:01:26,588
to put into the business.
34
00:01:26,590 --> 00:01:28,757
Or we could quit now,
while we're a success.
35
00:01:28,759 --> 00:01:30,124
What are you
talking about?
36
00:01:30,126 --> 00:01:31,593
It's only
gonna get worse.
37
00:01:31,595 --> 00:01:34,563
Or it could get better.
Why would you even say that?
38
00:01:34,565 --> 00:01:37,265
Because it's life, and life
gets worse, that's what it does.
39
00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:39,851
On life's resume,
under special skills it says,
40
00:01:39,853 --> 00:01:41,937
"good at
making things worse."
41
00:01:41,939 --> 00:01:44,105
- Do you always go to
the worst-case scenario?
42
00:01:44,107 --> 00:01:45,991
Yup.
On my resume it says,
43
00:01:45,993 --> 00:01:48,326
"good at going to
the worst case scenario."
44
00:01:48,328 --> 00:01:50,445
Do you think you could try
to be more optimistic,
45
00:01:50,447 --> 00:01:52,113
and not expect the worst
all the time?
46
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:55,617
Who's that?
More optimistic, right?
47
00:01:55,619 --> 00:01:59,087
On the other side of that door
is all the money you lost,
48
00:01:59,089 --> 00:02:00,822
and then we move back
into your townhouse,
49
00:02:00,824 --> 00:02:04,009
and I masturbate in your tub
for a change.
50
00:02:08,931 --> 00:02:11,550
It was twice,
and you could have knocked.
51
00:02:13,553 --> 00:02:14,786
Who is it?
52
00:02:14,788 --> 00:02:16,671
Detective James, NYPD.
53
00:02:16,673 --> 00:02:18,473
Wait, don't open it!
Don't open it!
54
00:02:18,475 --> 00:02:21,142
Oh, smoked it tuesday.
Open.
55
00:02:22,328 --> 00:02:24,563
Sorry to bother you, miss.
Do you live in this apartment?
56
00:02:24,565 --> 00:02:26,064
I'm gonna tell you right now,
officer,
57
00:02:26,066 --> 00:02:27,365
our names
aren't on the lease.
58
00:02:27,367 --> 00:02:28,733
We're an illegal sublet
with no place else to go.
59
00:02:28,735 --> 00:02:30,785
Please, mercy.
60
00:02:30,787 --> 00:02:34,355
Sorry, officer,
it's her first raid.
61
00:02:34,357 --> 00:02:36,374
Relax, the landlord
didn't send me.
62
00:02:36,376 --> 00:02:37,792
What do you know about
63
00:02:37,794 --> 00:02:39,527
the tenant who lives in the
apartment directly above you?
64
00:02:39,529 --> 00:02:40,879
His name is Lou.
65
00:02:40,881 --> 00:02:42,163
Leo?
66
00:02:42,165 --> 00:02:43,331
Saul?
67
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:44,583
Am I even close?
68
00:02:44,585 --> 00:02:46,384
His name's
Nirham Chaduri.
69
00:02:46,386 --> 00:02:48,887
Oh, man, I wasn't even
on the right continent.
70
00:02:51,707 --> 00:02:53,725
Is that Nirham Chaduri?
71
00:02:53,727 --> 00:02:57,512
Been dead for two weeks.
Lived alone, nobody knew.
72
00:02:57,514 --> 00:02:58,763
Cats eat his face?
73
00:02:58,765 --> 00:03:01,433
Max, could you please
not be so dark?
74
00:03:01,435 --> 00:03:02,851
Kittens eat his face?
75
00:03:04,103 --> 00:03:08,156
What? I'm just trying to put
a more positive spin on things.
76
00:03:14,864 --> 00:03:16,364
Where are you going
with that?
77
00:03:16,366 --> 00:03:18,617
That's my good China
with huckleberry hound on it.
78
00:03:18,619 --> 00:03:20,401
I'm making
a "hello" cupcake plate
79
00:03:20,403 --> 00:03:21,670
for our neighbors
across the hall.
80
00:03:21,672 --> 00:03:22,921
Oh, no, you're not.
81
00:03:22,923 --> 00:03:24,956
It's weird
not to know your neighbors.
82
00:03:24,958 --> 00:03:26,341
No, it's weird
not to know your father,
83
00:03:26,343 --> 00:03:30,095
but by the time you're four,
you get over it and move on.
84
00:03:30,097 --> 00:03:31,763
This is a mistake.
85
00:03:31,765 --> 00:03:33,515
Who knows what's lurking
behind that door?
86
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,717
Yes, something awful,
like nice people,
87
00:03:35,719 --> 00:03:37,585
who might look out for us,
or say, "hello," in the hallway
88
00:03:37,587 --> 00:03:38,586
when they see you.
89
00:03:38,588 --> 00:03:39,971
No matter what
comes out of there,
90
00:03:39,973 --> 00:03:42,757
I will not be "hello-ing" it up
in the hallway.
91
00:03:48,064 --> 00:03:49,564
You got lucky.
Get back in here.
92
00:03:49,566 --> 00:03:51,149
Who is it, please?
93
00:03:51,151 --> 00:03:54,536
- Caroline,
your next-door neighbor.
94
00:03:56,939 --> 00:03:58,073
Hi.
95
00:03:58,075 --> 00:03:59,441
Uh, is this a bad time?
96
00:03:59,443 --> 00:04:00,742
Not at all.
97
00:04:00,744 --> 00:04:03,277
One sec.
Hi.
98
00:04:03,279 --> 00:04:05,880
I just wanted to introduce
myself and my roommate, Max.
99
00:04:05,882 --> 00:04:08,416
There, and give you
these cupcakes.
100
00:04:08,418 --> 00:04:10,385
That is so nice.
101
00:04:10,387 --> 00:04:13,621
Well, it's the leash...
least... least I can do.
102
00:04:14,957 --> 00:04:17,058
Well, I gotta go.
103
00:04:22,297 --> 00:04:26,017
Well, if we ever get a dog,
we know who can walk it.
104
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,140
- Listen.
- I know.
105
00:04:32,142 --> 00:04:33,307
It's only been
a few days,
106
00:04:33,309 --> 00:04:34,943
and somebody's already moved in
upstairs.
107
00:04:34,945 --> 00:04:37,195
And they are
playing music!
108
00:04:37,197 --> 00:04:41,750
Music is coming
through the floor into my ears.
109
00:04:41,752 --> 00:04:42,867
I blame you for this.
110
00:04:42,869 --> 00:04:44,318
When you knocked on that door
across the hall,
111
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,337
you might have
opened a portal to hell.
112
00:04:46,339 --> 00:04:48,656
There, you hear
the devil music?
113
00:04:48,658 --> 00:04:50,125
I think
it's the bee gees.
114
00:04:50,127 --> 00:04:51,659
Exactly.
115
00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:54,379
And walking!
116
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:57,348
Walking and music,
we have to stop this right now.
117
00:04:57,350 --> 00:05:01,102
It's 10:00, people are allowed
to walk and play music.
118
00:05:01,104 --> 00:05:02,637
Your lack
of apartment knowledge
119
00:05:02,639 --> 00:05:04,639
is really starting
to piss me off.
120
00:05:04,641 --> 00:05:07,142
We have to show him right now
not to screw us.
121
00:05:07,144 --> 00:05:08,393
I need paper.
122
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,845
- What are you doing?
I mean, besides over-reacting?
123
00:05:10,847 --> 00:05:12,313
Writing
a threatening note.
124
00:05:12,315 --> 00:05:14,115
If we don't shut this down now,
next thing you know,
125
00:05:14,117 --> 00:05:15,850
someone's having
an academy awards party
126
00:05:15,852 --> 00:05:16,868
in your living room.
127
00:05:16,870 --> 00:05:18,203
Is that what you want?
128
00:05:18,205 --> 00:05:21,122
Strangers passing out
mini Oscar statues
129
00:05:21,124 --> 00:05:24,692
that say, "best nachos?"
130
00:05:27,213 --> 00:05:29,164
"I have
an unregistered gun
131
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:32,133
and can shoot you
through the floor"?
132
00:05:32,135 --> 00:05:33,585
You're coming in
really hot, Max.
133
00:05:33,587 --> 00:05:34,869
We're not giving him this.
134
00:05:34,871 --> 00:05:36,871
It'll start a bad dynamic
between us.
135
00:05:36,873 --> 00:05:40,875
God, how I miss
the quiet, dead indian guy.
136
00:05:40,877 --> 00:05:43,544
Okay, we're gonna
hit and run.
137
00:05:45,714 --> 00:05:48,883
Oh, you mean
"run," literally.
138
00:05:54,740 --> 00:05:56,741
Shh, listen.
139
00:05:58,245 --> 00:05:59,894
Reading the note,
140
00:05:59,896 --> 00:06:01,946
freaking out...
141
00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:05,900
Music off,
problem solved.
142
00:06:05,902 --> 00:06:10,255
Respect!
Never doubt, never doubt.
143
00:06:11,574 --> 00:06:13,508
Crossing the floor
to the door,
144
00:06:14,911 --> 00:06:16,711
Closing the door,
145
00:06:16,713 --> 00:06:20,849
Coming down the stairs,
146
00:06:22,853 --> 00:06:24,018
What do we do?
147
00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:24,969
Move?
148
00:06:33,941 --> 00:06:34,990
What's he look like?
149
00:06:34,992 --> 00:06:36,458
He's got his finger
over the peephole.
150
00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:39,094
Okay, game on. Back up!
151
00:06:39,096 --> 00:06:41,080
This is my building,
I've got to take it back.
152
00:06:41,082 --> 00:06:44,083
- Max, this is life, not
call of duty: Modern warfare 3.
153
00:06:44,085 --> 00:06:46,252
Move.
154
00:06:50,423 --> 00:06:54,894
What is meaning
of this horrible, horrible note?
155
00:06:54,896 --> 00:06:58,797
Oh, you're not a man?
156
00:06:58,799 --> 00:07:01,233
What kind of question
is this?
157
00:07:01,235 --> 00:07:02,968
Do I look like a man?
158
00:07:02,970 --> 00:07:05,187
No, but you clump around
up there like a man.
159
00:07:05,189 --> 00:07:06,355
Max, please.
160
00:07:06,357 --> 00:07:09,158
Did you write
this horrible, horrible note?
161
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,310
I did.
162
00:07:11,312 --> 00:07:13,612
First day
in my new home
163
00:07:13,614 --> 00:07:18,033
and I'm given this horrible,
horrible note, with threats.
164
00:07:18,035 --> 00:07:20,369
Well, they're not
actually threats.
165
00:07:20,371 --> 00:07:23,756
"I will gut you
like a hog."
166
00:07:23,758 --> 00:07:26,208
To be clear,
I only skimmed the note.
167
00:07:26,210 --> 00:07:28,493
Everything was happening
so fast.
168
00:07:28,495 --> 00:07:30,963
Listen, we've obviously
gotten off to a bad start.
169
00:07:30,965 --> 00:07:32,314
Please come in.
170
00:07:32,316 --> 00:07:35,334
Why would I want to come in
with you horrible, horrible...
171
00:07:35,336 --> 00:07:39,171
ooh, cupcake land.
Ooh.
172
00:07:39,173 --> 00:07:41,190
Yes, we have
a cupcake business.
173
00:07:41,192 --> 00:07:42,641
We're just starting,
but doing well.
174
00:07:42,643 --> 00:07:44,643
Max is the baker.
Say hello, Max.
175
00:07:44,645 --> 00:07:46,562
I know people
in the mob.
176
00:07:46,564 --> 00:07:49,014
That's Max, and I'm Caroline.
You are?
177
00:07:49,016 --> 00:07:51,033
Sophie Kuchenski.
178
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:53,485
Is that a polish accent
I'm detecting?
179
00:07:53,487 --> 00:07:54,486
Yes.
180
00:07:54,488 --> 00:07:56,372
I visited Warsaw once,
I love it.
181
00:07:56,374 --> 00:07:59,825
Oh, 'cause I hate it.
Rats and pimps.
182
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:02,895
Why have you
not yet offered me cupcake?
183
00:08:02,897 --> 00:08:06,248
It's the least thing you can do,
after horrible, horrible note.
184
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,917
Oh, sure.
Chocolate or vanilla?
185
00:08:07,919 --> 00:08:10,386
Yes.
186
00:08:13,089 --> 00:08:16,225
Why such sourpuss?
187
00:08:16,227 --> 00:08:18,260
Sorry about that.
It's just, we work long hours
188
00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:21,146
at the neighborhood diner,
and Max has another job as well,
189
00:08:21,148 --> 00:08:23,382
and then she comes home and
she has to make the cupcakes.
190
00:08:23,384 --> 00:08:26,885
Mmm.
So good.
191
00:08:26,887 --> 00:08:28,153
Mmm.
192
00:08:28,155 --> 00:08:30,889
How could someone so angry
make something so sweet?
193
00:08:30,891 --> 00:08:32,274
She's not always
like this.
194
00:08:32,276 --> 00:08:35,861
I'm usually like this,
just ask the previous tenant.
195
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:39,898
Oh, wait.
You can't.
196
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:43,235
You know, you two girls
are like these cupcakes.
197
00:08:43,237 --> 00:08:47,456
One is dark and heavy
and one is light and fluffy.
198
00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:50,009
I prefer the fluffy one.
199
00:08:50,011 --> 00:08:52,261
Well, I think we've
made our point.
200
00:08:52,263 --> 00:08:54,430
No music, no clumping,
I'll shoot you
201
00:08:54,432 --> 00:08:56,548
through the floor,
thanks for stopping by.
202
00:08:57,852 --> 00:09:00,636
I'm so glad we can
joke with each other already.
203
00:09:00,638 --> 00:09:03,272
Sorry about the note,
can we start ov...
204
00:09:03,274 --> 00:09:05,257
you have
the chanel allure lip gloss?
205
00:09:05,259 --> 00:09:06,558
Yeah.
206
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,645
Mm, you know the chanel?
207
00:09:09,647 --> 00:09:13,115
Know? Love.
I can't afford it any more.
208
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:16,652
Oh, take one.
I got handfuls in my bag.
209
00:09:16,654 --> 00:09:18,454
Really?
210
00:09:18,456 --> 00:09:21,106
Oh, that's so nice.
211
00:09:21,108 --> 00:09:24,710
Both: Ahh.
212
00:09:24,712 --> 00:09:25,711
Hey.
213
00:09:25,713 --> 00:09:27,880
Hey! Hey!
214
00:09:27,882 --> 00:09:29,948
Do I have to put you
on a leash?
215
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:32,134
Hey, we start again.
216
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:36,788
You take a chanel,
and I take more cupcakes to go.
217
00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:39,224
Oh, sure.
218
00:09:48,234 --> 00:09:50,069
Yes.
219
00:09:59,030 --> 00:10:02,431
I knew it.
Bitch played us for cupcakes.
220
00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:04,700
It's 3:00 A.M.
Why are you dressed?
221
00:10:04,702 --> 00:10:07,503
Never took off my clothes,
'cause soldiers don't.
222
00:10:07,505 --> 00:10:09,671
We have to be ready
when the enemy attacks.
223
00:10:09,673 --> 00:10:12,657
Okay, you were right,
I was wrong.
224
00:10:12,659 --> 00:10:14,159
Why do you have the broom?
225
00:10:14,161 --> 00:10:15,928
'Cause I ran out
of finger bullets.
226
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:18,047
Wait, you're gonna fall.
227
00:10:18,049 --> 00:10:19,348
I can't believe
we have a broom.
228
00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:21,683
All this time I've been sweeping
with an us weekly.
229
00:10:21,685 --> 00:10:24,636
I knew this would happen,
but I didn't say anything,
230
00:10:24,638 --> 00:10:26,855
'cause you were all, "Max is
the worst-case scenario."
231
00:10:26,857 --> 00:10:28,774
Well, we showed weakness
and now, look.
232
00:10:28,776 --> 00:10:31,310
And by "we,"
I mean "you."
233
00:10:31,312 --> 00:10:34,846
Deal with this,
cupcake thief!
234
00:10:34,848 --> 00:10:37,616
Yeah, one more time,
and hard.
235
00:10:39,619 --> 00:10:43,405
Okay, now she broke our house.
We're in a war.
236
00:10:43,407 --> 00:10:45,657
She wants a piece of me,
she's gonna get it.
237
00:10:45,659 --> 00:10:50,796
Where are my heels?
238
00:10:50,798 --> 00:10:52,047
I mean,
who did she think I am?
239
00:10:52,049 --> 00:10:54,833
Someone she can just buy off
with a tube of chanel?
240
00:10:54,835 --> 00:10:56,168
Well, your legs
did kind of snap back
241
00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:58,637
over your head pretty quick
when she offered it.
242
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:13,769
I thought you were
man with pizza.
243
00:11:19,443 --> 00:11:24,196
You have a porch swing
in there.
244
00:11:24,198 --> 00:11:27,616
You have
an electric cigarette.
245
00:11:27,618 --> 00:11:30,235
What is it
you two girls want?
246
00:11:30,237 --> 00:11:33,705
Uh, I forgot.
247
00:11:33,707 --> 00:11:37,709
Just so thrown by the swing
and the everything.
248
00:11:37,711 --> 00:11:39,962
Oh, you're taking advantage
of us
249
00:11:39,964 --> 00:11:42,080
by still playing that music
after we talked.
250
00:11:42,082 --> 00:11:46,969
You two are harshing
my marshmallow.
251
00:11:46,971 --> 00:11:49,688
So I'm gonna have to call
my friend the landlord tomorrow
252
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:52,090
and tell him about
the horrible, horrible note.
253
00:11:52,092 --> 00:11:53,758
Mmm.
254
00:11:56,814 --> 00:12:00,199
Oh, my God,
she's a hooker.
255
00:12:00,201 --> 00:12:03,619
I've been using
a hooker's lip gloss.
256
00:12:03,621 --> 00:12:04,769
She's not a hooker.
257
00:12:04,771 --> 00:12:05,821
Oh, good.
258
00:12:05,823 --> 00:12:08,624
She's too old,
she's a madame.
259
00:12:08,626 --> 00:12:11,276
You've been using
an old hooker's lip gloss.
260
00:12:16,865 --> 00:12:18,415
Max, look, my lip.
261
00:12:18,417 --> 00:12:20,650
Is this something?
I feel like I'm getting one.
262
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,253
For the last time,
you cannot get a herpes breakout
263
00:12:23,255 --> 00:12:24,821
in under ten hours.
264
00:12:24,823 --> 00:12:27,758
- You're right, now I'm jumping
to the worst-case scenario.
265
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,094
Maybe her lip gloss
wasn't a herpes breeding ground.
266
00:12:30,096 --> 00:12:32,496
Maybe she's not a prostitute.
Maybe those young girls
267
00:12:32,498 --> 00:12:34,932
weren't being held there
against their will.
268
00:12:34,934 --> 00:12:37,184
Yeah, maybe she just
has sleepovers
269
00:12:37,186 --> 00:12:39,219
with women on swings
in the their nighties.
270
00:12:39,221 --> 00:12:42,689
You know,
like people do.
271
00:12:44,175 --> 00:12:46,393
Welcome
to Williamsburg diner.
272
00:12:46,395 --> 00:12:48,028
How many in your party?
273
00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:49,846
What kind of question
is this?
274
00:12:49,848 --> 00:12:53,066
One,
I am my own party.
275
00:12:53,068 --> 00:12:54,701
I take booth.
276
00:12:54,703 --> 00:12:59,323
Now, now, who is that
over there?
277
00:12:59,325 --> 00:13:00,958
Our new
upstairs neighbor.
278
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,076
Earl, does she look
like a prostitute to you?
279
00:13:03,078 --> 00:13:06,163
Well, I don't like to
judge a book by its cover,
280
00:13:06,165 --> 00:13:07,831
but if she was a book,
281
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:11,118
she'd be the kind
that other books pay for sex.
282
00:13:13,505 --> 00:13:16,140
Sophie just came in,
Earl thinks she's a hooker,
283
00:13:16,142 --> 00:13:19,643
and now my lip is feeling
very courtney love.
284
00:13:19,645 --> 00:13:21,512
I invited her here
for a free meal,
285
00:13:21,514 --> 00:13:23,096
we have to make this work out
for us.
286
00:13:23,098 --> 00:13:25,816
Last night, she threatened to
call her "friend," the landlord,
287
00:13:25,818 --> 00:13:27,050
and that can
never happen.
288
00:13:27,052 --> 00:13:28,402
We're illegal tenants,
289
00:13:28,404 --> 00:13:30,887
and I'd rather have a noisy roof
over my head than no roof.
290
00:13:32,608 --> 00:13:34,024
Let me do the talking.
291
00:13:34,026 --> 00:13:35,742
You're too upset, and you might
say something insulting.
292
00:13:35,744 --> 00:13:37,828
Like what?
"Hi, thanks for the lip gloss
293
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:39,580
"and the series of
uncomfortable conversations
294
00:13:39,582 --> 00:13:41,915
with every lover I'll have
for the rest of my life."
295
00:13:41,917 --> 00:13:43,000
You don't need
to tell them,
296
00:13:43,002 --> 00:13:46,203
they'll figure it out
eventually.
297
00:13:46,205 --> 00:13:48,405
Hi, thanks for coming in.
298
00:13:48,407 --> 00:13:51,291
I like the uniforms.
299
00:13:51,293 --> 00:13:53,410
You fill out
the front nicely,
300
00:13:53,412 --> 00:13:56,513
and you with no boobs,
short-short skirts.
301
00:13:56,515 --> 00:13:58,932
Smart girls.
302
00:13:58,934 --> 00:14:01,301
Uh, we just wanted to
offer you a free dinner,
303
00:14:01,303 --> 00:14:02,686
as our way of
apologizing.
304
00:14:02,688 --> 00:14:04,104
So are you ready
to order?
305
00:14:04,106 --> 00:14:06,557
What kind of question
is this?
306
00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:11,061
Did you see
this horrible, horrible menu?
307
00:14:11,063 --> 00:14:13,864
We can't have
nice conversation here.
308
00:14:13,866 --> 00:14:17,267
Tomorrow I take you
to nice place, my treat.
309
00:14:17,269 --> 00:14:18,986
Oh, you don't have
to do that.
310
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,872
No, no, I, too,
want to apologize.
311
00:14:21,874 --> 00:14:23,957
You know, after you two left
the other night,
312
00:14:23,959 --> 00:14:28,278
some of my girls said
that I was harsh on you.
313
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,248
Yes, all those girls
work for me.
314
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,000
Excuse me, I have to go
to the ladies' room right now
315
00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:36,286
and look at my lips.
316
00:14:38,122 --> 00:14:40,674
Thank you so much
for inviting us.
317
00:14:40,676 --> 00:14:42,342
Are you enjoying
that beluga?
318
00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:45,962
Mmm, so much. Thank you.
319
00:14:45,964 --> 00:14:49,132
I haven't had caviar
in forever. Mmm.
320
00:14:49,134 --> 00:14:52,636
Legs over your head much?
321
00:14:52,638 --> 00:14:56,473
So, sourpuss,
you don't like caviar?
322
00:14:56,475 --> 00:14:58,808
No, I'm more of
a cheeseburger kind of girl.
323
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,244
- Oh.
- This place is busy.
324
00:15:00,246 --> 00:15:01,978
The waiters must
make a fortune.
325
00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:04,781
Oh, yeah,
300, 350 a night.
326
00:15:04,783 --> 00:15:06,583
What do you girls make?
327
00:15:06,585 --> 00:15:09,002
60 to 80
on a good night.
328
00:15:09,004 --> 00:15:11,421
And how do you expect you will
accomplish cupcake business
329
00:15:11,423 --> 00:15:12,923
on money like this?
330
00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:14,625
Well,
we're just starting out.
331
00:15:14,627 --> 00:15:18,011
Yes, but at this rate,
it will take forever.
332
00:15:18,013 --> 00:15:20,830
You know, I, too,
have big dream.
333
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:24,668
I am building summer house
by lake in Poland.
334
00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:26,103
You want to see?
335
00:15:26,105 --> 00:15:27,387
Oh, you have pictures?
336
00:15:27,389 --> 00:15:30,557
No, I have house.
337
00:15:33,695 --> 00:15:36,513
This is model
from the architect.
338
00:15:38,866 --> 00:15:44,154
And I take it everywhere I am,
to remember where I'm going.
339
00:15:44,156 --> 00:15:45,405
It's cool.
340
00:15:45,407 --> 00:15:48,858
See, girls like you
should be making more money.
341
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:51,378
Maybe you could consider
coming to work for me.
342
00:15:53,164 --> 00:15:54,998
- Sophie!
- Oh.
343
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,701
Thank you for sending girl
to my apartment yesterday.
344
00:15:57,703 --> 00:15:59,970
Oh, did she do the job?
345
00:15:59,972 --> 00:16:01,755
Oh, like no one
ever before.
346
00:16:01,757 --> 00:16:05,542
Down on all fours,
under, over,
347
00:16:05,544 --> 00:16:09,563
under again.
Oh!
348
00:16:09,565 --> 00:16:12,349
Well, my girls don't leave
until you're satisfied.
349
00:16:12,351 --> 00:16:14,551
Maybe she can come
two times a week.
350
00:16:14,553 --> 00:16:18,855
She can come
whenever you want her to come.
351
00:16:18,857 --> 00:16:20,524
Are these
two of your girls?
352
00:16:20,526 --> 00:16:23,577
Well, we were just
discussing that.
353
00:16:23,579 --> 00:16:27,581
Well, this one here looks like
she can take a lot.
354
00:16:28,533 --> 00:16:30,250
Uh, thanks?
355
00:16:30,252 --> 00:16:33,203
My friend Yanni
is at the bar.
356
00:16:33,205 --> 00:16:35,739
Since his divorce, he's
in great need of your service.
357
00:16:35,741 --> 00:16:37,841
Prosze.
Oh, yes.
358
00:16:37,843 --> 00:16:42,713
Uh, excuse me, and, um,
don't touch my house.
359
00:16:45,099 --> 00:16:46,550
I can't believe
she would actually consider
360
00:16:46,552 --> 00:16:48,468
asking us
to be prostitutes.
361
00:16:48,470 --> 00:16:49,720
I know.
362
00:16:49,722 --> 00:16:51,521
I mean, me, I get,
but you, I don't see it.
363
00:16:51,523 --> 00:16:55,308
You heard the guy, I look like
I could "take a lot."
364
00:16:55,310 --> 00:16:58,094
Max, it's not funny.
365
00:16:58,096 --> 00:17:00,280
Isn't it bad enough i may hurt bees
366
00:17:00,282 --> 00:17:01,598
from her chanel gloss?
367
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,650
Of course we're not
gonna do it, but come on,
368
00:17:03,652 --> 00:17:05,068
you'd be
a terrible hooker.
369
00:17:05,070 --> 00:17:08,405
Thank you,
I would be a terrible hooker.
370
00:17:08,407 --> 00:17:10,940
I have a heart, and soul,
and dreams,
371
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,626
and want to fall in love
and have a family.
372
00:17:12,628 --> 00:17:15,312
Oh, just say it,
you're bad in bed.
373
00:17:15,314 --> 00:17:17,247
Let's get out of here.
374
00:17:17,249 --> 00:17:19,299
I mean, really,
who does she think I am?
375
00:17:19,301 --> 00:17:23,053
Someone who would just
sell myself to have nice things?
376
00:17:23,055 --> 00:17:26,256
Let me just suck down a little
more of this, and we're off.
377
00:17:26,258 --> 00:17:27,758
If we
walk out of here now,
378
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,810
we can just keep walking
to the homeless shelter.
379
00:17:29,812 --> 00:17:33,313
Well, I'd rather be homeless
than a hooker.
380
00:17:33,315 --> 00:17:34,848
Here she comes.
Sit down!
381
00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:37,184
Let's thank her
and politely decline.
382
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:40,654
Okay, back to
what we were discussing.
383
00:17:40,656 --> 00:17:42,322
Uh, thanks.
384
00:17:42,324 --> 00:17:45,275
We appreciate the offer,
but we are going to pass.
385
00:17:45,277 --> 00:17:47,477
So you don't want to
accomplish your dream?
386
00:17:47,479 --> 00:17:50,664
Well, uh, I'm not exactly sure
those two things line up,
387
00:17:50,666 --> 00:17:52,148
but thanks.
388
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,451
I thought you were smart girls.
389
00:17:54,453 --> 00:17:56,169
We are smart girls,
390
00:17:56,171 --> 00:17:57,921
and smart girls
don't have to sell their bodies
391
00:17:57,923 --> 00:17:59,322
to accomplish their goals.
392
00:17:59,324 --> 00:18:01,708
Not that there's anything
wrong with that.
393
00:18:01,710 --> 00:18:03,927
It works for you, but us?
394
00:18:03,929 --> 00:18:08,465
Well, she's bad in bed
and I have a sour puss.
395
00:18:11,001 --> 00:18:13,954
What guy wants to pay for that?
396
00:18:15,623 --> 00:18:18,625
You think
I am prostitute?
397
00:18:18,627 --> 00:18:23,113
No, everyone has swings
with girls in pajamas.
398
00:18:25,783 --> 00:18:27,868
My business card.
399
00:18:30,955 --> 00:18:33,690
Home cleaning service.
400
00:18:33,692 --> 00:18:35,826
She runs
a cleaning company.
401
00:18:35,828 --> 00:18:39,546
"Sophie's choice."
402
00:18:39,548 --> 00:18:41,498
You realize
what this means?
403
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,333
- We insulted
a hard-working woman
404
00:18:43,335 --> 00:18:45,702
who was trying to help us
attain our goal?
405
00:18:45,704 --> 00:18:46,753
Yes.
406
00:18:46,755 --> 00:18:49,105
And I don't have herpes!
407
00:18:50,975 --> 00:18:52,309
I should have
listened to you.
408
00:18:52,311 --> 00:18:54,261
Meeting neighbors
is a big mistake.
409
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,346
And meeting neighbors
and calling them a prostitute?
410
00:18:56,348 --> 00:18:57,714
Bigger mistake.
411
00:18:57,716 --> 00:18:59,850
Plus, we have to kick in
60 for the check.
412
00:18:59,852 --> 00:19:02,068
What can we
possibly say to her?
413
00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:04,988
That we're sorry, and please
keep playing the bee gees
414
00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:07,056
day or night
as loud as she wants.
415
00:19:08,693 --> 00:19:10,894
Not a good idea
to be smiling right now.
416
00:19:10,896 --> 00:19:14,331
I'm just so happy
I don't have herpes.
417
00:19:18,452 --> 00:19:19,920
Hi, is this
a bad time?
418
00:19:19,922 --> 00:19:23,540
Yes. Yes, I'm in the middle of
having sex for money
419
00:19:23,542 --> 00:19:26,977
with every man
in Brooklyn.
420
00:19:26,979 --> 00:19:30,580
What do you horrible,
horrible girls want?
421
00:19:30,582 --> 00:19:33,133
Here, you left
part of your dream on the table.
422
00:19:33,135 --> 00:19:34,518
And we want
to apologize.
423
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,470
I'm new at this whole
being neighborly thing.
424
00:19:37,472 --> 00:19:40,223
What does the fluffy one
have to say?
425
00:19:40,225 --> 00:19:41,975
Thank you for being
so generous,
426
00:19:41,977 --> 00:19:43,693
and for offering to help us
make more money
427
00:19:43,695 --> 00:19:45,228
to accomplish our dream.
428
00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:48,064
And this is supposed
to make me feel better?
429
00:19:48,066 --> 00:19:50,984
You called me prostitute.
430
00:19:50,986 --> 00:19:52,619
Actually,
it's kind of a compliment
431
00:19:52,621 --> 00:19:53,904
that we thought
you were stunning enough
432
00:19:53,906 --> 00:19:57,457
that men would pay
to have sex with you.
433
00:19:57,459 --> 00:19:59,108
This is true.
434
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:01,027
Come on in.
435
00:20:05,217 --> 00:20:07,017
♪ Thinking about
those people... ♪
436
00:20:07,019 --> 00:20:10,921
Saturday night fever
is my favorite movie.
437
00:20:10,923 --> 00:20:14,090
Look at him.
He's so sexy.
438
00:20:14,092 --> 00:20:17,627
He's not that cute,
kind of oily.
439
00:20:17,629 --> 00:20:18,979
You're right.
440
00:20:18,981 --> 00:20:23,483
She would have made
terrible prostitute.
441
00:20:23,485 --> 00:20:24,768
That's a nice TV.
442
00:20:24,770 --> 00:20:26,653
Yeah, brand-new.
443
00:20:26,655 --> 00:20:28,438
I have all my girls over
the other night
444
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,690
for viewing sleepover party.
445
00:20:30,692 --> 00:20:32,308
It's also 3-d.
446
00:20:32,310 --> 00:20:34,327
- Does it come with
3-d glasses?
447
00:20:34,329 --> 00:20:36,580
Yeah,
in the drawer there.
448
00:20:38,148 --> 00:20:41,034
- Here.
- Max, it's not a 3-d movie.
449
00:20:41,036 --> 00:20:43,203
- Who cares?
It's 3-d glasses.
450
00:20:43,205 --> 00:20:44,170
Come on,
you're always talking about
451
00:20:44,172 --> 00:20:46,423
wanting us to see things
differently.
452
00:20:47,541 --> 00:20:49,626
Oh, so cool.
453
00:20:49,628 --> 00:20:52,262
This swing
is a brilliant idea.
454
00:20:52,264 --> 00:20:55,632
Yeah, it's for my porch
at lake house.
455
00:20:55,634 --> 00:20:57,467
But why wait?
456
00:20:57,469 --> 00:21:00,303
Dream is now.
457
00:21:01,607 --> 00:21:05,392
♪ Ha-a-ah ♪
458
00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:06,459
♪ More than a woman ♪