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♪
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Look, if you want to get all
lesbian with me, just go for it.
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You don't have to pretend
it's for the website.
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It is.
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And for the record, in 2009,
when Katy Perry
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"kissed a girl and liked it,"
I kissed one and didn't.
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Ready?
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One... two... and...
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- Perfect.
- Perfect?
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This photo does not say "Let us
do your child's birthday party."
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It says "We're an AC/DC tribute band,"
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and you can pay us in cocaine."
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Oleg,
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will you take a picture
of us for our website?
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You realize you just asked a man
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who only takes pictures of his penis?
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Yes.
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But it's always well-lit,
and perfectly in focus.
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You won't be disappointed.
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I take lots of website pictures.
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Yeah, but we're not wearing
just bras and chicken masks.
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We have time.
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Maybe we should rethink
the "coke whore" picture.
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♪
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Well, good night, ladies.
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Sleep tight, don't let
the bed bugs bite.
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And I remember a time in New York
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when that was more cute than accurate.
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- Good night, Earl.
- Good night.
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Earl, I have come across
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a $6 inaccuracy in tonight's total.
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You must go over all checks again.
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Han, I'm just on my way home.
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But it is not yet 2:00 A.M.
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I hate to play the heavy,
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but you must sit down and
go over checks again.
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Han, I am 75 years old.
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I don't even have enough
time left to wipe twice.
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Well, well.
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Hello there.
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Such a gentleman.
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And what a well-behaved boy.
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Oh, there are the girls.
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Sophie, hello.
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You look pretty.
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Oh, I know.
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Oh, sorry, the kitchen's closed.
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- What?
- Kitchen was closed...
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But can now be open again
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for such a beautiful woman.
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Hello. I am the chef.
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Oh, here we go.
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Ukraine's going to try to invade Poland.
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It's double d-day.
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Oleg, this is our neighbor, Sophie.
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I would like to have a
plate with sausage on it
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while I look over the menu.
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Yowza.
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You are like someone super-sized
Victoria's secret angel.
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I'd like to Gisele on your Bundchens.
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You're going to act like a dog,
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I'll treat you like a dog.
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Well, there goes his photography career.
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Do you still want the sausage?
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Yes, of course.
Why should sausage suffer?
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You know how to handle yourself.
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- Impressive.
- Mm-hmm.
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That was like a game of
"rock, paper, pervert."
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Sophie, thank you for coming in.
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Max and I wanted to talk
to you about taking you up
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on your offer to work for
your cleaning company.
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Yeah, she wants to do it for
money to pay for our website,
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and I want to do it
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because I like rummaging through
strangers' medicine cabinets.
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Have you cleaned houses before?
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Well, I had a house,
and it was very clean.
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But whatever the task,
you won't be sorry.
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Max and I are a great team,
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and when we set our mind to
something, we accomplish it.
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- And if you consider giving us...
- Oh, stop.
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This is not a dental school interview.
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Come on, this is scrubbing toilets.
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In or out?
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We're in. All the way.
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In my experience, when
someone has to tell you
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they're all the way in,
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you'd better hope their tongue works.
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So dirty.
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We can start tomorrow.
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Just tell us where to
go, and we'll be there.
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Oh, okay.
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Well, uh, you walk out your door,
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you take right, you go upstairs,
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you open my door, and
you clean my apartment.
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Is audition.
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Can't I just take off my
shirt like in fame?
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Excuse me.
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Here is your non-sexual appetizer.
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You and I will start small.
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You like?
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Yes.
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Good boy. Now go.
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Forced to clean Sophie's apartment?
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This is getting dicey.
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Next thing you know,
we're locked in a crate
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on our way to the far east.
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Max, we're going to spend
this money on our website.
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That's the future of our company.
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But the future is so far in the future,
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and I need this money
now for real stuff,
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like gummi bears and eye liner.
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How do you think you get to the future?
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Uh, Marty McFly and a delorean?
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Besides, we don't need the website yet.
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We got the birthday cupcake
job tomorrow without it.
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And where do you think we got that job?
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I don't know, the job fairy?
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What? I don't pay attention
to the business stuff.
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I got the order at the
web design company
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when I overheard someone say it
was his son's fifth birthday.
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Gross. Using children
for your own profit.
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Way to go, China.
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Well, here we are.
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Why is this big news?
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Come in.
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So, if this all works out today,
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I have two possible jobs for you.
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Two? That's amazing.
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This is the only way
that I can make sure
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that you don't ruin my
company's good name.
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'Cause I work hard to
build "Sophie's choice."
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Now, uh, one of you take bathroom
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and one of you take out here.
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Who does which?
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Bathroom. I'm going to go with bathroom.
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I love a challenge.
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If not perfect clean, no job.
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Begin.
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Watch out, ladies.
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I'm about to go ham on this b-room.
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What is this "ham"?
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Hard as a mother.
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Max, I love when you're dirty.
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Oh. Very impressive.
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You clean
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like bull.
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Roar of cleaning.
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No big deal.
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I was lifting up couches when I was six
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to help my mom look for change
and her boyfriend's tooth.
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I'm almost finished in here!
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This one like to make big announcements
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- about nothing, yes?
- Yes.
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Hey, does that electric cigarette work?
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Yes, yeah.
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I smoked for seven years, and
then I quit when I was 12.
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Yeah, I didn't want
to die of lung cancer
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before I was teenager.
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Can I get a hit?
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Oh, yeah, please, try.
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I have many more in the drawers.
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I smoked the summer I shucked
oysters on a gay cruise.
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Ooh, glamorous.
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Almost done. Two-minute warning.
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Be prepared to be amazed.
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Max, you shouldn't smoke. You'll get...
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What, electrocuted?
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This is silly.
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If I'm going to suck
on something this hard
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and get no pleasure out of it,
I should just date.
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I think you're going to be thrilled.
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Oh, she stinks.
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Spritz, spritz. She is sprayer.
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All mirror, no toilet.
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Well, you know, she's sort
of new to this kind of work.
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She was born rich,
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but her father stole a bunch
of money from people,
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and she was thrown out of her
townhouse and disgraced.
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Yes, well, she clean like rich girl.
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"Hey, everybody, look,
look what I'm doing.
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Oh, spritz, spritz."
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Oh!
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See, you not born rich,
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and you... you're like "roar."
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- Right?
- Well.
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Cleaning's not her thing, but
she has other strengths.
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Mm, I don't see them.
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Mm.
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Uh, so do we not have the job?
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No, I give you job,
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because one bull equal two girls.
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But why you need her, I don't know.
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You can make much more
money on your own.
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Yeah, well, we're kind of a team.
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Listen, Max. Let me tell you something.
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She is like rock, tied to you, balloon.
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See, she hold you down.
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You cut her loose, and...
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Yeah, well, she's not weighing me down.
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I had lover who was rock.
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And I let him go, and...
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I'm finished, and I have
to say, that bathroom?
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Nailed it.
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Don't push it. She saw it.
205
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She barely looked at it.
I saw you in the mirror.
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Your eye never even looked down.
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Yes, that's because this
eye doesn't go down.
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See, I'm trying.
209
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Yeah, I have blind spot
from accident as child.
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When I was six years old,
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00:09:09,205 --> 00:09:11,505
while working in Polish knock-off
212
00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:13,757
of McDonalds in warsaw,
213
00:09:13,759 --> 00:09:16,927
I fell on hot McStick.
214
00:09:16,929 --> 00:09:19,746
How did you fall on a hot stick?
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00:09:19,748 --> 00:09:23,600
Not a stick that is hot. A hot McStick.
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It's meat on a stick,
and it's very popular.
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They only have it, like,
two times a year.
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It's like Mcribs.
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Sophie, I'm so sorry, that's awful.
220
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Yeah, but I bet that McStick
thing is delicious.
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It is.
222
00:09:40,619 --> 00:09:41,785
Well, that must have been hard.
223
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I admire your courage.
224
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What are you, counsellor from UNICEF?
225
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You are acing this interview.
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Pffft...
227
00:10:04,066 --> 00:10:05,795
Do you know where we are?
228
00:10:05,797 --> 00:10:07,496
This whole building is models.
229
00:10:07,498 --> 00:10:09,064
Life is so funny.
230
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,499
When I lived in Manhattan,
231
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I used to come to model
parties here all the time.
232
00:10:12,887 --> 00:10:14,336
And now you clean up their poop.
233
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You're right. Life is funny.
234
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Here's the apartment upstairs tomorrow.
235
00:10:18,676 --> 00:10:21,393
- 10 J. Here it is.
- How do I look?
236
00:10:21,395 --> 00:10:23,729
Maybe he's the Abercrombie
model from the Christmas ad
237
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in the white sleigh
238
00:10:24,932 --> 00:10:28,550
with the open fleece
jacket and the eight-pack.
239
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I don't think it's him.
240
00:10:32,490 --> 00:10:33,439
Hi, I'm Big Bill.
241
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Come on in, girlies.
242
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How many packs did you say?
243
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Oh, what a lovely... oh!
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Oh, my God.
245
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:44,533
Look, Max, he's a figure skater.
246
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Go ahead, take it all in.
247
00:10:46,204 --> 00:10:47,753
How could you not?
248
00:10:47,755 --> 00:10:49,922
It's okay, I'm a model. I'm used to it.
249
00:10:49,924 --> 00:10:52,241
Hey, I know you. You're the Big Bill.
250
00:10:52,243 --> 00:10:53,843
You're the guy from the
gag greeting cards.
251
00:10:53,845 --> 00:10:56,428
Yep. I sold 2 million of
that particular card.
252
00:10:56,430 --> 00:10:57,763
On the front it says, "You're on,"
253
00:10:57,765 --> 00:10:59,014
when you open it up...
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- "Thin ice"!
- Right.
255
00:11:00,468 --> 00:11:02,852
Oh, I've got to go in
my bedroom and change.
256
00:11:02,854 --> 00:11:05,271
I'll be right back.
257
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:06,388
Wow, Big Bill!
258
00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:07,907
No, big bye-bye.
259
00:11:07,909 --> 00:11:09,191
We're not staying here.
260
00:11:09,193 --> 00:11:10,192
If that's what's on the wall,
261
00:11:10,194 --> 00:11:11,426
who knows what's on the floor.
262
00:11:11,428 --> 00:11:13,229
Or trapped underneath it.
263
00:11:13,231 --> 00:11:14,897
This is an uncomfortable
work environment.
264
00:11:14,899 --> 00:11:17,700
You were going to be on all
fours scrubbing a toilet.
265
00:11:17,702 --> 00:11:20,936
It was always going to be an
uncomfortable work environment.
266
00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:22,454
Okay, if we're staying,
that's three times
267
00:11:22,456 --> 00:11:25,040
the amount of man.
We should get double the money.
268
00:11:25,042 --> 00:11:26,158
I'm calling Sophie right now
269
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,459
and telling her we should get more.
270
00:11:27,461 --> 00:11:29,444
Um, I would not suggest
you complain to Sophie.
271
00:11:29,446 --> 00:11:30,496
It's not a good idea.
272
00:11:30,498 --> 00:11:32,631
Why? Do you know something I don't?
273
00:11:32,633 --> 00:11:34,283
She thinks you don't know how to clean,
274
00:11:34,285 --> 00:11:36,385
that you spritz, spritz.
275
00:11:36,387 --> 00:11:38,387
And what does she say about
your cleaning skills?
276
00:11:38,389 --> 00:11:40,422
I'm a bull and I roar.
277
00:11:40,424 --> 00:11:41,974
I knew she didn't like me.
278
00:11:41,976 --> 00:11:44,093
She only has eye for you.
279
00:11:44,095 --> 00:11:46,562
Who cares what she thinks.
Just clean better today.
280
00:11:46,564 --> 00:11:48,564
You do the living room.
I'll do the bathroom.
281
00:11:48,566 --> 00:11:50,983
No, I'll do the bathroom,
just to prove a point.
282
00:11:50,985 --> 00:11:52,518
I mean, reprove it.
283
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:53,519
This is just like when
284
00:11:53,521 --> 00:11:55,104
they made me take the S.A.T.S again,
285
00:11:55,106 --> 00:11:59,775
away from all the asian kids.
286
00:11:59,777 --> 00:12:02,244
Oh! Oh, my God!
287
00:12:03,863 --> 00:12:05,080
Why are you freaking out?
288
00:12:05,082 --> 00:12:06,448
You've already seen him naked.
289
00:12:06,450 --> 00:12:07,482
It's not him.
290
00:12:07,484 --> 00:12:10,194
Have you seen the size of this toilet?
291
00:12:12,990 --> 00:12:16,458
That is a big-ass toilet.
292
00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:19,295
Literally.
293
00:12:25,001 --> 00:12:26,552
Max, I'm finished.
294
00:12:26,554 --> 00:12:28,387
The floor is so clean
you could eat off it,
295
00:12:28,389 --> 00:12:30,122
and I'm sure he will.
296
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,608
Come on in, I want you to see it.
297
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:34,109
No, no, no, no, no, no.
298
00:12:34,111 --> 00:12:36,562
Go down, go down, stop. Never mind!
299
00:12:36,564 --> 00:12:39,398
Don't need you to see it.
Everything's okay.
300
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,700
How's it going out there?
301
00:12:41,702 --> 00:12:45,020
Either your water just broke,
or you pee like a smurf.
302
00:12:45,022 --> 00:12:46,288
My shoes.
303
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:49,908
No, you did not flush a
whole roll of paper towels.
304
00:12:49,910 --> 00:12:52,027
No, you did not just
use that tone with me
305
00:12:52,029 --> 00:12:53,245
when my good shoes are wet.
306
00:12:53,247 --> 00:12:54,246
Shut off the valve.
307
00:12:54,248 --> 00:12:55,297
The valve?
308
00:12:55,299 --> 00:12:57,583
Oh, God, what is wrong with you?
309
00:12:57,585 --> 00:13:00,085
How can you not know
where a toilet valve is?
310
00:13:00,087 --> 00:13:01,337
I was rich.
311
00:13:01,339 --> 00:13:02,888
But you have to admit, the mirror?
312
00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:06,225
Nailed it.
313
00:13:14,851 --> 00:13:16,885
Wake up, you lazy bitch!
314
00:13:16,887 --> 00:13:18,070
- What?
- Fire!
315
00:13:18,072 --> 00:13:20,322
I'm fired? Why, because of the toilet?
316
00:13:20,324 --> 00:13:22,408
Look at the oven, the cupcakes.
317
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:24,777
I'm sorry. I fell asleep.
318
00:13:24,779 --> 00:13:26,829
I was just going to lay
down for five minutes.
319
00:13:26,831 --> 00:13:28,530
I asked you to do one thing
320
00:13:28,532 --> 00:13:30,199
while I went out to get more milk...
321
00:13:30,201 --> 00:13:33,035
Take the cupcakes out of the oven.
322
00:13:33,037 --> 00:13:36,038
"Happy Birthday, kids.
From Max's homemade cupcakes.
323
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,791
"You can learn more about us
and our blackened cupcakes
324
00:13:38,793 --> 00:13:41,076
on our expensive website."
325
00:13:41,078 --> 00:13:42,428
I'm sorry, Max.
326
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:45,214
I just really needed a little
siesta after all that cleaning.
327
00:13:45,216 --> 00:13:48,767
How are you so good at Spanish
and so bad at cleaning?
328
00:13:48,769 --> 00:13:51,920
What is that smell?
329
00:13:51,922 --> 00:13:53,722
I grabbed my purse and ran.
330
00:13:53,724 --> 00:13:55,774
Caroline burned cupcakes.
331
00:13:55,776 --> 00:13:58,310
Oh, so sad.
332
00:13:58,312 --> 00:14:01,263
Look at all those burnt cakes.
333
00:14:01,265 --> 00:14:02,815
What happened here?
334
00:14:02,817 --> 00:14:04,116
Just a little mishap.
335
00:14:04,118 --> 00:14:06,452
I was so tired from cleaning
that bathroom earlier,
336
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:08,103
that I laid my head
down for five minutes
337
00:14:08,105 --> 00:14:10,939
- and ended up falling asleep.
- Aw...
338
00:14:10,941 --> 00:14:12,925
Such a shame.
339
00:14:12,927 --> 00:14:16,462
Oh, look Max.
340
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:19,081
These cupcakes, they're hard as rocks.
341
00:14:19,083 --> 00:14:20,632
All you have to do
342
00:14:20,634 --> 00:14:24,480
is throw the rock away, and whee!
343
00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:36,070
I don't think Sophie likes me.
344
00:14:36,072 --> 00:14:37,789
What are you talking about?
She loves you.
345
00:14:37,791 --> 00:14:39,758
No. I don't think she has a blind spot.
346
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,694
I think she has a blonde spot... for me.
347
00:14:46,349 --> 00:14:47,799
Well, I think we've found the place
348
00:14:47,801 --> 00:14:51,386
where red bulls come to die.
349
00:14:51,388 --> 00:14:54,589
Man, why do I never get
invited to parties like this?
350
00:14:54,591 --> 00:14:56,758
Look. Do you know what that means?
351
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,977
Yeah, this building has
a real shirt shortage.
352
00:14:58,979 --> 00:15:00,612
Oh, my God, do you think
353
00:15:00,614 --> 00:15:02,280
this might be the Abercrombie
model's apartment?
354
00:15:02,282 --> 00:15:05,099
I doubt it's the Abercrombie
model's apartment.
355
00:15:05,101 --> 00:15:06,118
Here's a note.
356
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,486
It's addressed to "cleaning dood,"
357
00:15:07,488 --> 00:15:09,771
"dude" spelled "d-o-o-d."
358
00:15:09,773 --> 00:15:13,241
It definitely might be the
Abercrombie model's apartment.
359
00:15:13,243 --> 00:15:15,710
"Wake me when you get here
." He wants us to wake him.
360
00:15:15,712 --> 00:15:18,163
So, do you think he sleeps in the nude?
361
00:15:18,165 --> 00:15:20,832
Yeah, "nood", "n-o-o-d."
362
00:15:20,834 --> 00:15:22,584
Come on, let's go look.
363
00:15:22,586 --> 00:15:24,619
Oh, oh, oh, so what,
seeing this guy naked
364
00:15:24,621 --> 00:15:27,121
is no longer an "uncomfortable
work environment"?
365
00:15:27,123 --> 00:15:28,140
It's still uncomfortable,
366
00:15:28,142 --> 00:15:30,509
but in that exciting uncomfortable way.
367
00:15:34,096 --> 00:15:35,597
I think it is him.
368
00:15:35,599 --> 00:15:37,899
It's the guy who put the
"abs" in Abercrombie.
369
00:15:37,901 --> 00:15:40,602
And he's naked. The good naked.
370
00:15:40,604 --> 00:15:41,987
Should we lift the sheet?
371
00:15:41,989 --> 00:15:44,272
Why not? I already lifted it in my mind.
372
00:15:44,274 --> 00:15:45,357
Max, I got this.
373
00:15:45,359 --> 00:15:48,476
You start cleaning up
the mess out there.
374
00:15:48,478 --> 00:15:50,829
No, you start cleaning the
mess out there... I got this.
375
00:15:50,831 --> 00:15:52,164
The bedroom's attached to the bathroom,
376
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:54,816
and I always do the bathrooms,
and he's my ideal type.
377
00:15:54,818 --> 00:15:56,818
And by "doing" the bathrooms
do you mean flooding them,
378
00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:58,486
and by "ideal type," do
you mean unconscious?
379
00:15:58,488 --> 00:16:00,321
Shh! We can talk about this out here.
380
00:16:00,323 --> 00:16:01,790
You're going to wake him.
381
00:16:01,792 --> 00:16:03,108
That's what we're supposed to do.
382
00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:07,262
But as usual, you don't
want to do the job.
383
00:16:07,264 --> 00:16:10,048
What's wrong with you?
You're acting weird.
384
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:11,516
Well, why should I have to
do all the heavy lifting
385
00:16:11,518 --> 00:16:14,302
while you just get to nap
and see free model penis?
386
00:16:14,304 --> 00:16:16,521
All the heavy lifting?
Where'd you get that from?
387
00:16:16,523 --> 00:16:17,689
No one.
388
00:16:17,691 --> 00:16:18,690
Sophie.
389
00:16:18,692 --> 00:16:20,725
I knew she didn't like me.
390
00:16:20,727 --> 00:16:22,110
It's not that she doesn't like you,
391
00:16:22,112 --> 00:16:23,028
she just doesn't think you're...
392
00:16:23,030 --> 00:16:24,529
What? Doing anything?
393
00:16:24,531 --> 00:16:25,847
She thinks I'm not pulling my weight?
394
00:16:25,849 --> 00:16:26,865
She thinks I'm dead weight?
395
00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:30,318
Not dead weight, more like... a rock...
396
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,287
To my balloon.
397
00:16:32,289 --> 00:16:35,657
What is that, some kind of Polish haiku?
398
00:16:35,659 --> 00:16:37,125
What does that even mean?
399
00:16:37,127 --> 00:16:42,030
She thinks if I cut the rock
loose, I'll go... fuuuuu!
400
00:16:42,032 --> 00:16:43,548
Wait, so you're siding with
401
00:16:43,550 --> 00:16:45,366
a woman you met a week ago over me?
402
00:16:45,368 --> 00:16:47,502
I'm not siding with anyone.
I'm just saying...
403
00:16:47,504 --> 00:16:50,138
I know what this is.
This is "Pick on the rich girl."
404
00:16:50,140 --> 00:16:52,257
It's a poverty smackdown.
405
00:16:52,259 --> 00:16:54,476
I heard you two talking while
I was in her bathroom,
406
00:16:54,478 --> 00:16:56,795
spritz spritzing.
407
00:16:56,797 --> 00:16:59,264
You think you do everything?
Fine, do everything.
408
00:16:59,266 --> 00:17:01,516
You can "balloon" all over this place,
409
00:17:01,518 --> 00:17:04,986
'cause the "rock" is leaving.
410
00:17:08,242 --> 00:17:11,225
Who is it?
411
00:17:11,227 --> 00:17:13,612
You're the rock! I'm the balloon!
412
00:17:13,614 --> 00:17:16,064
Without me lifting you out
of your negative rockness,
413
00:17:16,066 --> 00:17:17,699
you wouldn't even have
a cupcake business.
414
00:17:17,701 --> 00:17:19,734
I'm the reason we even
have cupcake jobs.
415
00:17:19,736 --> 00:17:20,919
Oh, oh, you're the reason?
416
00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:23,788
Who stayed up all last night
baking 24 more cupcakes
417
00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:25,090
while you were sleeping?
418
00:17:25,092 --> 00:17:27,626
You did. And who delivered
the cupcakes this morning
419
00:17:27,628 --> 00:17:30,762
while you were sleeping?
I did. Me. The balloon.
420
00:17:30,764 --> 00:17:33,848
I floated over there and got
paid for the job that I got us
421
00:17:33,850 --> 00:17:36,134
from the website that
I'm trying to pay for.
422
00:17:36,136 --> 00:17:37,585
And now, I'm going to
float down this hall
423
00:17:37,587 --> 00:17:40,522
and wake the hot model up
'cause, contrary to what you
424
00:17:40,524 --> 00:17:42,256
and your poverty gal-pal might think,
425
00:17:42,258 --> 00:17:43,892
I always do the job I'm hired for.
426
00:17:43,894 --> 00:17:45,810
Oh, no! I am going to wake him up.
427
00:17:45,812 --> 00:17:48,480
Free model penis is my
reward for doing everything
428
00:17:48,482 --> 00:17:51,733
and being tied to a rock like you.
429
00:17:51,735 --> 00:17:53,351
Oh, see? I can't get away,
because you're the rock
430
00:17:53,353 --> 00:17:56,855
and you're heavier than my balloon.
431
00:17:56,857 --> 00:17:59,824
Hey, stop!
432
00:17:59,826 --> 00:18:01,493
This is cleaning job,
433
00:18:01,495 --> 00:18:05,030
not gorgeous ladies of wrestling.
434
00:18:05,032 --> 00:18:06,447
Good thing I stopped by to check on you.
435
00:18:06,449 --> 00:18:08,783
- What is all this?
- You explain it.
436
00:18:08,785 --> 00:18:10,635
I'm going to go wake the hot model up.
437
00:18:10,637 --> 00:18:12,754
He left a note. Just doing my job.
438
00:18:12,756 --> 00:18:14,055
As usual.
439
00:18:18,094 --> 00:18:20,312
So, you think I'm holding Max back?
440
00:18:20,314 --> 00:18:22,314
What kind of question is this?
441
00:18:22,316 --> 00:18:24,182
Yes.
442
00:18:24,184 --> 00:18:27,135
Well, you're wrong. We're a great team.
443
00:18:27,137 --> 00:18:28,853
And, yes, there are some
things she's better at.
444
00:18:28,855 --> 00:18:31,139
But there are other areas where I excel.
445
00:18:31,141 --> 00:18:33,274
Well, I don't see them.
446
00:18:33,276 --> 00:18:35,356
That's probably because of your eye.
447
00:18:37,947 --> 00:18:39,147
Did you wake him up?
448
00:18:39,149 --> 00:18:42,017
Uh, no. I think he might be dead.
449
00:18:46,922 --> 00:18:49,541
Oh, no, not the hot one!
450
00:18:49,543 --> 00:18:51,676
Aw, he's my favorite.
451
00:18:51,678 --> 00:18:53,494
This is all I need on yelp.
452
00:18:53,496 --> 00:18:55,880
We should call 911.
453
00:18:55,882 --> 00:18:57,349
No, I got it.
454
00:18:57,351 --> 00:18:59,968
What are you going to do?
455
00:18:59,970 --> 00:19:02,187
I'm going to give him mouth-to-mouth.
456
00:19:11,013 --> 00:19:15,283
I didn't know there was
so much tongue involved.
457
00:19:15,285 --> 00:19:17,351
This is not working.
458
00:19:17,353 --> 00:19:19,187
But, you know what?
I know he's still alive,
459
00:19:19,189 --> 00:19:23,625
because his manhood is
knocking on my lady door.
460
00:19:32,329 --> 00:19:34,953
He must have taken too many
of those pills on the table.
461
00:19:34,955 --> 00:19:36,504
Pills? I got this.
462
00:19:36,506 --> 00:19:38,206
Max, go get some hydrogen peroxide.
463
00:19:38,251 --> 00:19:41,509
- Sophie, step aside, now.
- Oh, all right.
464
00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:42,877
You sure you know what you're doing?
465
00:19:42,879 --> 00:19:45,046
My friend Candace travelstead
od'd like three times
466
00:19:45,048 --> 00:19:49,250
in college, and I
brought her back twice.
467
00:19:49,252 --> 00:19:50,351
There you go.
468
00:19:50,353 --> 00:19:51,936
Bring him up.
469
00:19:51,938 --> 00:19:56,024
Max, you hold his head back,
open his mouth.
470
00:20:00,262 --> 00:20:01,595
Back up.
471
00:20:09,371 --> 00:20:12,161
I'm starting to see your worth.
472
00:20:17,713 --> 00:20:20,832
What? You're being subway creepy.
473
00:20:20,834 --> 00:20:22,583
I have to say, when you were punching
474
00:20:22,585 --> 00:20:24,085
that almost-dead guy in the stomach,
475
00:20:24,087 --> 00:20:26,254
that was a serious balloon move.
476
00:20:26,256 --> 00:20:28,389
The truth is, we're both balloons.
477
00:20:28,391 --> 00:20:31,959
Yeah, but mine is, like,
way cooler than yours.
478
00:20:31,961 --> 00:20:34,312
It's like one of those silver
ones that never goes out of air.
479
00:20:34,314 --> 00:20:36,130
They don't make those anymore.
They're toxic.
480
00:20:36,255 --> 00:20:38,599
Exactly.
481
00:20:38,601 --> 00:20:41,319
Max, you know you won't let
me come into the kitchen
482
00:20:41,321 --> 00:20:42,803
and help you bake, right?
483
00:20:42,805 --> 00:20:44,739
And you know that I
know that without you,
484
00:20:44,741 --> 00:20:47,492
the job fairy would
never show up, right?
485
00:20:47,494 --> 00:20:50,161
But if you ever need me to
help you bake, I could.
486
00:20:50,163 --> 00:20:51,145
No, it's cool.
487
00:20:51,147 --> 00:20:52,830
You do your thing, I'll do mine.
488
00:20:52,832 --> 00:20:54,032
Hey, get your phone.
489
00:20:54,034 --> 00:20:55,950
We should capture this
near-death victory moment
490
00:20:55,952 --> 00:20:57,168
as our website picture.
491
00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:58,419
Totally.
492
00:20:58,421 --> 00:21:02,367
On the count of three, think...
"We made $200."
493
00:21:03,510 --> 00:21:04,709
One... two...
494
00:21:04,711 --> 00:21:06,127
Hold up.
495
00:21:06,129 --> 00:21:07,929
Sir, if you want to go
home with that hand,
496
00:21:07,931 --> 00:21:10,331
get it off my ass.
497
00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:12,366
Okay, three.