1
00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:09,607
Wow! Bummer, dude.
2
00:00:09,608 --> 00:00:11,242
You have a time machine?
3
00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:14,212
And somehow, it got programmed
to this crap diner?
4
00:00:14,213 --> 00:00:17,282
I must admit, I am
quite taken with steampunk.
5
00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:20,250
Oh, steampunk, right.
I remember that trend.
6
00:00:20,251 --> 00:00:21,818
It happened for,
like, ten seconds
7
00:00:21,819 --> 00:00:24,788
back in 2000
and-are-you-kidding-me?
8
00:00:24,789 --> 00:00:26,490
Dude, seriously,
you're sitting
9
00:00:26,491 --> 00:00:28,292
in a public place
tap-tap-tapping
10
00:00:28,293 --> 00:00:29,660
on an oldie typewriter?
11
00:00:29,661 --> 00:00:31,295
What are you?
12
00:00:31,296 --> 00:00:33,664
In the league of extraordinarily
pretentious gentlemen?
13
00:00:33,665 --> 00:00:35,799
Aren't you being
a little aggressive?
14
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,400
Yup.
15
00:00:37,401 --> 00:00:38,401
That's how people are
here in the present
16
00:00:38,402 --> 00:00:39,902
where we live.
17
00:00:39,903 --> 00:00:41,304
But don't get me wrong.
18
00:00:41,305 --> 00:00:42,905
I'd like to go
back in time, too.
19
00:00:42,906 --> 00:00:45,675
Maybe stop 9/11 or that creep
who had sex on my shoe,
20
00:00:45,676 --> 00:00:47,142
but I can't.
21
00:00:47,143 --> 00:00:50,279
Present?
Where's that uniform from?
22
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:51,847
Like, 1998?
23
00:00:51,848 --> 00:00:53,648
Oh, stop,
or I'm going to have
24
00:00:53,649 --> 00:00:55,317
to shoot you
with a Smith & Wesson
25
00:00:55,318 --> 00:00:58,320
I'm currently packing
in my bloomers.
26
00:00:58,321 --> 00:01:02,691
I'll go get thee a menu,
my good man.
27
00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:07,585
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
28
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:17,711
attention, everyone.
29
00:01:17,712 --> 00:01:20,047
Max and I have a little
late-night treat for you.
30
00:01:20,048 --> 00:01:21,882
Don't say it
all excited like that.
31
00:01:21,883 --> 00:01:24,685
Now when it's not drugs,
Earl's going to be pissed.
32
00:01:24,686 --> 00:01:28,054
You are invited
to a very important taste-test
33
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,221
of Max's homemade cupcakes.
34
00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,090
Okay,
but I will have only one.
35
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,259
When I get a tummy,
single ladies call me Buddha
36
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,395
and rub me for luck.
37
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:39,065
I gotta watch out, too.
38
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:41,333
Last time I had Max's
chocolate espresso cupcake
39
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:42,433
before going home,
40
00:01:42,434 --> 00:01:44,169
I was awake
till 5:00 A.M.,
41
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:47,372
hand washing all my thongs.
42
00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:49,708
Thongs?
Earl, you devil.
43
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,877
That's right, just because
there's snow on the roof
44
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,445
doesn't mean there's
not swing in the sling.
45
00:01:54,446 --> 00:01:57,515
Oh, Caroline, darling.
Can you go back over there?
46
00:01:57,516 --> 00:01:59,283
I forgot my racing form.
47
00:01:59,284 --> 00:02:02,920
Oh, horse racing?
It reminds me of Chestnut.
48
00:02:02,921 --> 00:02:05,956
Max... Chestnut.
49
00:02:05,957 --> 00:02:07,558
What's with the sad face?
50
00:02:07,559 --> 00:02:10,260
Your horse is living it up
at a fancy stable nearby.
51
00:02:10,261 --> 00:02:13,297
Not gone to the great stud farm
in the sky.
52
00:02:13,298 --> 00:02:16,399
Did someone say
"stud farm"?
53
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:22,105
My fee is $10 a quart or $15
if you want a boy.
54
00:02:23,908 --> 00:02:25,608
Wow.
55
00:02:25,609 --> 00:02:28,277
You bounced back from your
Sophie breakup pretty quick.
56
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:29,745
It was not
a real breakup.
57
00:02:29,746 --> 00:02:31,880
I will have her
very soon again.
58
00:02:31,881 --> 00:02:34,083
Right now, I lay low
and wait in bushes
59
00:02:34,084 --> 00:02:37,119
like determined jungle cat.
60
00:02:38,654 --> 00:02:41,056
Or a rapist.
61
00:02:41,057 --> 00:02:43,658
Racing forms,
here you go.
62
00:02:43,659 --> 00:02:45,127
Earl,
maybe some time
63
00:02:45,128 --> 00:02:46,627
you will take me out
to the track with you.
64
00:02:46,628 --> 00:02:48,896
I used to ride horses
all the time in Korea.
65
00:02:48,897 --> 00:02:50,464
The mechanical ones
for a quarter
66
00:02:50,465 --> 00:02:52,333
in front of
supermarkets?
67
00:02:52,334 --> 00:02:54,769
Actually, Max,
I'm a very good rider.
68
00:02:54,770 --> 00:02:56,971
In fact, I was training
to be a jockey
69
00:02:56,972 --> 00:02:59,406
but was too short.
70
00:02:59,407 --> 00:03:02,743
Too short
to be a jockey?
71
00:03:02,744 --> 00:03:05,445
That's a hard hit,
my man.
72
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:08,048
Han, I had no idea
you loved horses, too.
73
00:03:08,049 --> 00:03:09,816
Why didn't you
ever say anything?
74
00:03:09,817 --> 00:03:12,085
Well, why didn't you ever ask
about any of my interests?
75
00:03:12,086 --> 00:03:13,754
I'll tell you why.
76
00:03:13,755 --> 00:03:15,655
Because all you ever talk about
is "our cupcake business,"
77
00:03:15,656 --> 00:03:17,023
our cupcake business."
78
00:03:17,024 --> 00:03:19,358
Doesn't your cd
have other tracks?
79
00:03:19,359 --> 00:03:20,926
Anyway,
our cupcake business
80
00:03:20,927 --> 00:03:22,828
has a very important
meeting tomorrow
81
00:03:22,829 --> 00:03:25,030
with Paul Platt,
the party planner.
82
00:03:25,031 --> 00:03:26,498
I know
a party planner, too.
83
00:03:26,499 --> 00:03:28,834
He sells J .Lo.
and Salma Hayek Pinatas
84
00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:31,170
off back of truck
for Cinco de Mayo.
85
00:03:31,171 --> 00:03:33,972
Awesome.
Put me down for a Hayek.
86
00:03:33,973 --> 00:03:36,507
More storage space
for candy.
87
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:39,377
Well, our party planner
is the it guy in Manhattan.
88
00:03:39,378 --> 00:03:40,678
And tomorrow,
Max and I are doing
89
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,180
a tasting for him
at his office.
90
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:47,351
How can someone be too short
to be a jockey?
91
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,320
Isn't that
the whole point?
92
00:03:49,321 --> 00:03:52,790
Are you all right, Max?
93
00:03:52,791 --> 00:03:54,457
I got here
as fast as I could.
94
00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:56,193
Caroline texted me
to hurry over
95
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,995
because you didn't know
you were pregnant,
96
00:03:57,996 --> 00:03:59,296
and you were giving
birth over toilet.
97
00:03:59,297 --> 00:04:03,133
So I grabbed
my plunger and ran!
98
00:04:03,134 --> 00:04:06,402
That is insane.
I never texted that.
99
00:04:06,403 --> 00:04:09,906
No, I did,
when I stole your phone.
100
00:04:09,907 --> 00:04:12,141
I needed a reason
to get Sophie over here.
101
00:04:12,142 --> 00:04:14,143
I can't believe
she believed it.
102
00:04:14,144 --> 00:04:16,679
Oh, come on, Max.
Giving birth over toilet?
103
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,149
That is very you.
104
00:04:20,150 --> 00:04:22,417
Now that you are here,
Sophie, sit.
105
00:04:22,418 --> 00:04:24,519
I want to tell you
something important.
106
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,387
Well, you can forget that.
107
00:04:26,388 --> 00:04:28,156
There's no way
I'm going to stay.
108
00:04:28,157 --> 00:04:31,592
A cupcake party?
109
00:04:31,593 --> 00:04:35,330
Oh, look, and this one
even has a pretzel in it.
110
00:04:35,331 --> 00:04:37,365
Yup, that's
our "salty n' spice"
111
00:04:37,366 --> 00:04:38,933
for our more
adventurous customers.
112
00:04:38,934 --> 00:04:41,235
Also for
the uptight white people,
113
00:04:41,236 --> 00:04:43,037
we have
the very, very vanilla
114
00:04:43,038 --> 00:04:46,573
which is... big surprise...
My favorite.
115
00:04:46,574 --> 00:04:48,709
And this is our beer-batter
maple bacon
116
00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:50,510
spring break cupcake.
117
00:04:50,511 --> 00:04:55,114
That's for stoners,
and big surprise, my favorite.
118
00:04:55,115 --> 00:04:57,416
We can only
take four flavors
119
00:04:57,417 --> 00:04:59,252
to represent
our cupcake business.
120
00:04:59,253 --> 00:05:04,557
See? Not one word ever
about anyone else.
121
00:05:04,558 --> 00:05:07,327
I have a pet ferret,
if anyone gives a damn.
122
00:05:07,328 --> 00:05:10,262
Well, I have
some big news
123
00:05:10,263 --> 00:05:12,464
I want to share with you
all as well.
124
00:05:12,465 --> 00:05:15,467
Sophie, that classy lady
right over there...
125
00:05:15,468 --> 00:05:19,872
Mm, I like this one.
126
00:05:19,873 --> 00:05:22,207
She recently
broke it off with me
127
00:05:22,208 --> 00:05:23,641
because she wanted
to be with a man
128
00:05:23,642 --> 00:05:25,810
who had a dream
and a drive.
129
00:05:25,811 --> 00:05:28,246
So I have bought
a drive...
130
00:05:28,247 --> 00:05:30,114
A Lincoln town car.
131
00:05:30,115 --> 00:05:33,217
Yes, I have a new car service
and slogan:
132
00:05:33,218 --> 00:05:37,854
"Lie back and I will ride you
till you tell me to stop."
133
00:05:40,391 --> 00:05:43,960
So, oleg, you now have
a town car business?
134
00:05:43,961 --> 00:05:46,796
And Sophie,
you rent town cars all the time.
135
00:05:46,797 --> 00:05:48,731
Oh, oh, please.
136
00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:51,301
I mean, I love pizza, too,
but that doesn't mean
137
00:05:51,302 --> 00:05:54,870
I have to marry papa John.
138
00:05:56,806 --> 00:05:59,641
I was just thinking,
you might want to come out back
139
00:05:59,642 --> 00:06:03,478
and take a look at the light-up
makeup mirror on visors.
140
00:06:03,479 --> 00:06:07,082
Light-up makeup mirror?
141
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:09,784
Oh, I might be interested.
142
00:06:09,785 --> 00:06:11,986
But not just you and I.
143
00:06:11,987 --> 00:06:14,188
Han will come as well.
144
00:06:14,189 --> 00:06:17,258
Finally! Han is getting
invited to something.
145
00:06:17,259 --> 00:06:19,193
Other than LinkedIn.
146
00:06:19,194 --> 00:06:21,930
- So much for the taste test.
- It's fine.
147
00:06:21,931 --> 00:06:23,798
I know what's best
for our cupcake business.
148
00:06:23,799 --> 00:06:25,565
I do say that a lot,
149
00:06:25,566 --> 00:06:27,200
but I think
it's kind of charming.
150
00:06:27,201 --> 00:06:28,268
I'll go get our coats.
151
00:06:28,269 --> 00:06:31,438
Mm, mm, mm.
Look at you.
152
00:06:31,439 --> 00:06:34,607
I must say, I'm impressed
with how far you've come.
153
00:06:34,608 --> 00:06:36,276
Well, you burn
a few thousand cupcakes,
154
00:06:36,277 --> 00:06:37,544
you're bound
to get better.
155
00:06:37,545 --> 00:06:39,679
Not just the cupcakes, Max.
156
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,280
Look how far you've come.
157
00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:42,982
When I think of that girl
who came in here
158
00:06:42,983 --> 00:06:44,283
just looking to get by...
159
00:06:44,284 --> 00:06:46,385
Hey, and check you out now.
160
00:06:46,386 --> 00:06:49,989
Big, fancy meeting in Manhattan.
Lordy lord!
161
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:52,058
- It's only a meeting, Earl.
- Maybe.
162
00:06:52,059 --> 00:06:54,560
But if you were
one of these horses,
163
00:06:54,561 --> 00:06:59,164
I'd put all
of my money on you, Max.
164
00:06:59,165 --> 00:07:00,832
Paul Platt parties.
Please hold.
165
00:07:00,833 --> 00:07:02,300
Paul Platt parties.
Please hold.
166
00:07:02,301 --> 00:07:04,202
Paul Platt parties.
Please hold.
167
00:07:04,203 --> 00:07:05,770
Poor kid.
168
00:07:05,771 --> 00:07:06,972
If I had that job,
I'd be asking someone
169
00:07:06,973 --> 00:07:09,074
to please hold a gun
to my head.
170
00:07:09,075 --> 00:07:11,476
He's probably excited
to be working for Paul Platt.
171
00:07:11,477 --> 00:07:12,843
Look at
all these magazines
172
00:07:12,844 --> 00:07:15,045
calling him
the next Martha Stewart.
173
00:07:15,046 --> 00:07:17,247
Someday, we'll have
articles about us.
174
00:07:17,248 --> 00:07:18,748
You know,
pictures of you and me
175
00:07:18,749 --> 00:07:19,749
standing outside
our country home.
176
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:21,318
Hold on.
177
00:07:21,319 --> 00:07:25,055
We're rich and still
living together?
178
00:07:25,056 --> 00:07:27,224
Okay, she's leaving.
This is us.
179
00:07:27,225 --> 00:07:28,891
About time.
180
00:07:28,892 --> 00:07:30,793
Been sitting here so long
my ass is asleep,
181
00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:34,197
which kind of goes against
my theory that it won't quit.
182
00:07:34,198 --> 00:07:36,599
Hi, Paul's going to be
a little longer.
183
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:37,766
It's fine.
It's just...
184
00:07:37,767 --> 00:07:39,268
Paul Platt parties,
please hold.
185
00:07:39,269 --> 00:07:40,436
- Paul Platt parties...
- How much longer...
186
00:07:40,437 --> 00:07:43,439
- Please hold.
- Me or them?
187
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,474
I got the ass
pins and needles.
188
00:07:45,475 --> 00:07:47,876
- Max.
- What? We're on hold.
189
00:07:47,877 --> 00:07:50,912
Have a seat.
Five more minutes.
190
00:07:51,914 --> 00:07:53,482
Paul Platt parties.
191
00:07:53,483 --> 00:07:54,716
The word "party"
at a party planner's?
192
00:07:54,717 --> 00:07:56,251
Little obvious.
193
00:07:56,252 --> 00:08:00,954
Like me having art that says
"will die alone."
194
00:08:00,955 --> 00:08:02,589
Wait.
195
00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:04,625
I think this is Johnny's art.
No way.
196
00:08:04,626 --> 00:08:07,194
"No way" is right.
Johnny's a nobody.
197
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,430
Paul Platt wouldn't have
a framed "Johnny" in his office.
198
00:08:09,431 --> 00:08:12,033
Look, signed "j. Peg."
That's his tag.
199
00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:14,001
Yo, what's the deal
with this art?
200
00:08:14,002 --> 00:08:15,536
It's a street artist.
201
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:16,602
Everyone's getting
really into him now.
202
00:08:16,603 --> 00:08:18,138
Oh, yeah?
203
00:08:18,139 --> 00:08:22,642
He was trying to get into me
a few months ago.
204
00:08:22,643 --> 00:08:24,277
It was more emotional
than that.
205
00:08:24,278 --> 00:08:26,212
He cheated on
his girlfriend with her
206
00:08:26,213 --> 00:08:27,480
and then blew her off.
207
00:08:27,481 --> 00:08:29,482
It was really hard
for us.
208
00:08:29,483 --> 00:08:31,284
And you thought
me slapping my ass
209
00:08:31,285 --> 00:08:34,153
in front of him
was inappropriate?
210
00:08:34,154 --> 00:08:37,722
- Wow, Johnny made it.
- Well, good for him.
211
00:08:37,723 --> 00:08:39,358
He's making it,
we're making it...
212
00:08:39,359 --> 00:08:40,659
We're making it?
213
00:08:40,660 --> 00:08:43,062
I magic-markered
over the scuffs on my boot,
214
00:08:43,063 --> 00:08:44,563
and we can't
even get past
215
00:08:44,564 --> 00:08:47,799
the poor man's John Cusack
over there.
216
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,034
Max, we are making it.
217
00:08:50,035 --> 00:08:51,635
We've come a long way.
218
00:08:51,636 --> 00:08:52,836
We haven't used
Starbucks napkins
219
00:08:52,837 --> 00:08:55,106
for toilet paper
in months.
220
00:08:55,107 --> 00:08:56,674
And now,
look where we are.
221
00:08:56,675 --> 00:08:59,177
We've got a meeting
with Paul Platt.
222
00:08:59,178 --> 00:09:01,512
"We're making it."
223
00:09:01,513 --> 00:09:03,314
I'm serious.
Say it, Max.
224
00:09:03,315 --> 00:09:04,414
We are making it.
225
00:09:04,415 --> 00:09:06,015
Okay, we're making it.
226
00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:09,519
- Caroline channing.
- This is us!
227
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:13,090
- Ahh.
- What, five more minutes?
228
00:09:13,091 --> 00:09:15,192
Monday at 4:00.
Something came up.
229
00:09:15,193 --> 00:09:17,327
Oh, okay.
Well, Monday at 4:00.
230
00:09:17,328 --> 00:09:19,028
There's no Monday at 4:00.
231
00:09:19,029 --> 00:09:21,163
He said Monday at 4:00.
Monday at 4:00, right?
232
00:09:21,164 --> 00:09:23,031
Absolutely.
Monday at 4:00.
233
00:09:23,032 --> 00:09:25,601
There is no Monday at 4:00.
234
00:09:25,602 --> 00:09:28,104
I'm confused.
Is there a Monday at 4:00?
235
00:09:28,105 --> 00:09:30,473
In the books, Monday at 4:00.
Paul can't wait.
236
00:09:30,474 --> 00:09:33,075
There is
no Monday at 4:00.
237
00:09:33,076 --> 00:09:36,044
I don't understand.
Are we coming in Monday at 4:00?
238
00:09:36,045 --> 00:09:38,045
Absolutely.
Paul's a big fan.
239
00:09:38,046 --> 00:09:41,149
Don't come in on Monday.
240
00:09:41,150 --> 00:09:43,618
Can you please tell me
what's going on?
241
00:09:43,619 --> 00:09:46,721
See, it's this news
about your father being moved
242
00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:49,491
to a cushy white collar
prison this week.
243
00:09:49,492 --> 00:09:51,259
Paul can't have anything to do
with someone named channing,
244
00:09:51,260 --> 00:09:54,060
'cause everyone
in New York is pissed.
245
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:57,498
Look at all that.
It never stops.
246
00:09:57,499 --> 00:09:59,299
How much more of this
do I have to take?
247
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,700
So we'll see you
on Monday!
248
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:03,203
Don't come.
249
00:10:03,204 --> 00:10:05,539
I woke my ass up
for this?
250
00:10:09,187 --> 00:10:13,056
Mmm.
This was delicious, Max.
251
00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:15,425
Here's a $20.
Keep the change.
252
00:10:15,426 --> 00:10:16,894
What are you doing,
Sophie?
253
00:10:16,895 --> 00:10:18,495
You don't pay
for the cupcakes.
254
00:10:18,496 --> 00:10:20,097
No, take it
for your business.
255
00:10:20,098 --> 00:10:23,432
Ever since your big
party planner meeting went bust,
256
00:10:23,433 --> 00:10:24,934
I was worried
that you two girls
257
00:10:24,935 --> 00:10:27,636
might form
a joint suicide pact.
258
00:10:29,606 --> 00:10:33,109
Nah, we're
not that organized.
259
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,611
So how's Caroline today?
260
00:10:35,612 --> 00:10:37,712
She's handling it all
better than I thought.
261
00:10:37,713 --> 00:10:39,214
She's with her father's
lawyer right now,
262
00:10:39,215 --> 00:10:40,982
trying to figure out
the best time for her
263
00:10:40,983 --> 00:10:42,784
to go out to the prison
to see him before he's moved.
264
00:10:43,786 --> 00:10:47,222
Oh, that is my new phone.
265
00:10:47,223 --> 00:10:51,960
You know there's a phone
stuck to that gay furby, right?
266
00:10:51,961 --> 00:10:55,529
Yes, this is from my
favorite store on 14th street,
267
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,697
rhinestoned.
268
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,866
Oh, it's just a text
from my driver.
269
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,268
He's waiting out front.
270
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:03,503
Why don't you
just invite oleg inside?
271
00:11:03,504 --> 00:11:06,440
I'm not sure yet
he deserves to come inside.
272
00:11:06,441 --> 00:11:09,642
Well, from what I heard,
he's already come inside.
273
00:11:11,745 --> 00:11:15,181
Oh, Max, I love it
when you're dirty!
274
00:11:15,182 --> 00:11:17,183
Hey, how'd it go?
275
00:11:17,184 --> 00:11:18,884
Well, according
to my father's lawyer,
276
00:11:18,885 --> 00:11:21,020
the prison is surrounded
by so much press
277
00:11:21,021 --> 00:11:22,288
that daddy doesn't want me
to come out there
278
00:11:22,289 --> 00:11:23,756
and be exploited
all over again.
279
00:11:23,757 --> 00:11:26,458
Why is he still
the only news story out there?
280
00:11:26,459 --> 00:11:28,927
Well, the good news is,
281
00:11:28,928 --> 00:11:31,997
your hair
is especially shiny today.
282
00:11:31,998 --> 00:11:34,099
It is?
Thanks, Sophie.
283
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,901
So try not
to kill yourself.
284
00:11:36,902 --> 00:11:40,339
Well, if I didn't kill myself
reading these in the car,
285
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:42,440
I won't.
Hate mail.
286
00:11:42,441 --> 00:11:44,641
It was being held
at my old P.O. box.
287
00:11:44,642 --> 00:11:47,078
My father's lawyer
picked it up for me.
288
00:11:47,079 --> 00:11:49,880
Why didn't he just punch you
in the face and call it a day?
289
00:11:49,881 --> 00:11:52,083
I know, it's like the end of
miracle on 34th street,
290
00:11:52,084 --> 00:11:54,618
only everyone's
calling me a bitch.
291
00:11:54,619 --> 00:11:58,021
Oh, come on, not everyone
is calling you a bitch.
292
00:11:58,022 --> 00:12:01,591
"Dear bitch,
I hate you."
293
00:12:01,592 --> 00:12:05,094
"If I ever see you
on the street, I will..."
294
00:12:05,095 --> 00:12:07,329
Shake your hand
and wish you well,
295
00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:09,632
as you have been through
so very much.
296
00:12:09,633 --> 00:12:11,333
That is not
what that says.
297
00:12:11,334 --> 00:12:12,835
It might be.
298
00:12:12,836 --> 00:12:13,970
It's hard to read
his actual words,
299
00:12:13,971 --> 00:12:15,671
as they are
written in blood.
300
00:12:15,672 --> 00:12:19,775
Oh, look how fancy.
This is not hate mail.
301
00:12:19,776 --> 00:12:24,880
No, this is invitation to
metropolitan museum annual gala.
302
00:12:24,881 --> 00:12:26,481
It is?
303
00:12:26,482 --> 00:12:29,050
This is my favorite social event
in all of New York.
304
00:12:29,051 --> 00:12:31,553
I've gone every year
since I was 18.
305
00:12:31,554 --> 00:12:32,821
It's a fashion ball
at the museum of art...
306
00:12:32,822 --> 00:12:34,489
Yeah, I know
what it is.
307
00:12:34,490 --> 00:12:36,491
- I catered it last year.
- Max, how weird.
308
00:12:36,492 --> 00:12:38,559
We were probably
right in the very same room.
309
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:41,629
Then there's a good chance
I spit in your drink.
310
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,532
Not really, unless you were
acting all prissy and demanding.
311
00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:46,867
There's a good chance
you spit in my drink.
312
00:12:46,868 --> 00:12:50,571
Well, see?
This is happy news.
313
00:12:50,572 --> 00:12:53,205
No, as much as I want to,
I can't go.
314
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,574
Everybody hates me.
315
00:12:54,575 --> 00:12:57,209
And much worse,
I have nothing to wear,
316
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,346
and if you're gonna be hated,
you better look damn good.
317
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:04,216
I give up. That invitation
finally broke me.
318
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,118
Why are you
pulling down your bed?
319
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,320
Because I don't have
a door to slam.
320
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,155
Hell, I don't even
have a door!
321
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:12,190
Everything's
been taken away, Max...
322
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:14,225
My fortune,
my business career,
323
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:16,595
my social life,
my sweet, sweet horse.
324
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,997
Okay, take a nap.
You're upset.
325
00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:20,198
You have
a good reason to be.
326
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,067
A good reason?
327
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:25,836
I say she has
200, 300 good reasons.
328
00:13:25,837 --> 00:13:27,171
I mean, read these.
329
00:13:27,172 --> 00:13:30,174
These are like
letters to the devil.
330
00:13:30,175 --> 00:13:34,244
I'm just going to get in there
and never get out.
331
00:13:34,245 --> 00:13:36,346
Close it up, Max.
Put me in the wall.
332
00:13:36,347 --> 00:13:38,749
No, it's really hard to
close it when you're in there.
333
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:40,350
I've tried.
334
00:13:40,351 --> 00:13:42,719
Look, I know
it's not even remotely close
335
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,054
to what you had before,
336
00:13:44,055 --> 00:13:45,622
but we do have
our cupcake business
337
00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:49,893
and our purple stove,
and we do have $922.
338
00:13:49,894 --> 00:13:51,260
And we're gonna make it.
339
00:13:51,261 --> 00:13:55,264
Wall me.
340
00:13:55,265 --> 00:14:00,703
Come on, all you need
is a big, glamorous party.
341
00:14:00,704 --> 00:14:02,638
I mean, look at
all the celebrities
342
00:14:02,639 --> 00:14:05,708
Martha Stewart,
343
00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:07,576
Justin Timberlake...
344
00:14:07,577 --> 00:14:10,445
Ooh, Hugh Jackman!
345
00:14:10,446 --> 00:14:12,581
Oh, I like to call him
"huge" Jackman,
346
00:14:12,582 --> 00:14:15,316
because I bet
he has a big penis.
347
00:14:15,317 --> 00:14:19,053
Wall me.
348
00:14:23,892 --> 00:14:27,795
Thank you, sir.
349
00:14:27,796 --> 00:14:30,030
Welcome home, buddy.
350
00:14:30,031 --> 00:14:32,165
As you can see,
we haven't put the pool in yet.
351
00:14:32,166 --> 00:14:33,667
We'll get to it.
352
00:14:33,668 --> 00:14:36,637
Tree, grill, shovel...
Usual cast of characters.
353
00:14:36,638 --> 00:14:39,106
Now, I am going
to take you in to her,
354
00:14:39,107 --> 00:14:40,507
but I should warn you.
355
00:14:40,508 --> 00:14:42,743
She hasn't been
out of bed for two days,
356
00:14:42,744 --> 00:14:45,811
and that means no tooth brushing
and it's bad up in there.
357
00:14:45,812 --> 00:14:47,647
I'm pretty sure horses
have a keen sense of smell,
358
00:14:47,648 --> 00:14:49,148
so just be prepared.
359
00:14:51,018 --> 00:14:53,819
I missed you, too.
360
00:14:56,322 --> 00:15:00,792
Max, I'm trying to sleep.
Take your boots off.
361
00:15:00,793 --> 00:15:03,161
Caroline,
I have something for you.
362
00:15:03,162 --> 00:15:06,330
Go away.
I'm dead.
363
00:15:06,331 --> 00:15:10,434
Jeez, and you said
my breath was bad.
364
00:15:10,435 --> 00:15:12,937
You have a visitor,
someone you love.
365
00:15:14,707 --> 00:15:19,543
Chestnut!
Chestnut, hi, baby, hi.
366
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:21,278
How did he get here?
367
00:15:21,279 --> 00:15:22,813
I went to peach
and told her
368
00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:24,014
it was a matter
of life and death
369
00:15:24,015 --> 00:15:25,515
and we had
to have him back.
370
00:15:25,516 --> 00:15:27,551
And what,
she just gave him back to you?
371
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:30,320
Well, I did have to agree
to come back and babysit
372
00:15:30,321 --> 00:15:32,322
one day a week
for the rest of my life,
373
00:15:32,323 --> 00:15:34,523
but hell, Chestnut's home.
374
00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:37,226
Max, thank you so much.
You brought me back to life.
375
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,861
Oh, my God,
don't exhale on me.
376
00:15:38,862 --> 00:15:41,463
Your breath is like you
went down on a brussels sprout.
377
00:15:41,464 --> 00:15:43,700
Tip your head that way.
378
00:15:43,701 --> 00:15:46,135
Chestnut, Chestnut.
379
00:15:46,136 --> 00:15:48,037
Don't breathe
on him either!
380
00:15:48,038 --> 00:15:51,073
His whole head is a nose.
He can't handle that.
381
00:15:51,074 --> 00:15:54,810
Chestnut's home.
382
00:15:58,409 --> 00:15:59,509
Han, I'm so excited.
383
00:15:59,510 --> 00:16:00,876
Did you hear
my horse is back?
384
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:03,245
This is
not conversation.
385
00:16:03,246 --> 00:16:05,247
This is just
the other thing you say.
386
00:16:05,248 --> 00:16:07,015
"My cupcake business,
my horse,
387
00:16:07,016 --> 00:16:09,484
my horse,
my cupcake business."
388
00:16:09,485 --> 00:16:10,818
Well, in case
anyone's interested,
389
00:16:10,819 --> 00:16:13,955
my ferret's name
is Alvin.
390
00:16:13,956 --> 00:16:15,390
And Alvin's
telling his friends
391
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,992
he has a pet named han.
392
00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:20,994
Hey, Earl.
Long time, no see.
393
00:16:20,995 --> 00:16:23,564
Well, well, well,
Johnny.
394
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,499
If it isn't
the famous street artist.
395
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,934
Well, I'm hardly famous.
396
00:16:26,935 --> 00:16:28,235
You got that right.
397
00:16:28,236 --> 00:16:31,738
My remark was
laced with sarcasm.
398
00:16:31,739 --> 00:16:34,274
Can you tell Max
I'm here?
399
00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:37,277
That depends.
Are you still a two-timing bum?
400
00:16:37,278 --> 00:16:40,547
That's his name,
don't wear it out.
401
00:16:40,548 --> 00:16:41,948
Hiya, slugger.
402
00:16:41,949 --> 00:16:45,017
Can you do me a favor
and call Earl off?
403
00:16:45,018 --> 00:16:47,487
I may be on day six
of my p90x,
404
00:16:47,488 --> 00:16:50,422
but I'm in no shape to take on
a heavyweight like him.
405
00:16:50,423 --> 00:16:53,158
It's okay, Earl, we're cool.
406
00:16:53,159 --> 00:16:55,594
Well, I am.
He's just riding my fumes.
407
00:16:55,595 --> 00:16:57,762
So, uh,
where's your section?
408
00:16:57,763 --> 00:17:02,396
- Counter.
- Hm, same ol', same ol'.
409
00:17:05,471 --> 00:17:06,770
Johnny's in the diner.
410
00:17:06,771 --> 00:17:09,107
Why is he here?
It can't be to eat.
411
00:17:09,108 --> 00:17:11,976
He's "made it."
He eats "made it food" now.
412
00:17:11,977 --> 00:17:14,545
Well, obviously,
he's here to see you.
413
00:17:14,546 --> 00:17:17,081
Or else he won the award for
biggest lying jerk in New York,
414
00:17:17,082 --> 00:17:19,484
and this is the first stop
on his press tour.
415
00:17:19,485 --> 00:17:20,485
Well, I don't know
why he's here,
416
00:17:20,486 --> 00:17:22,185
but you better
come with me.
417
00:17:22,186 --> 00:17:24,221
He looks really good,
so I'm not listening
418
00:17:24,222 --> 00:17:26,856
to a thing coming out of
his pretty mouth.
419
00:17:28,392 --> 00:17:30,227
Well, I was gonna
ask what the specials were,
420
00:17:30,228 --> 00:17:31,894
but you know what?
Can I actually just get
421
00:17:31,895 --> 00:17:33,263
one of Max's
homemade cupcakes?
422
00:17:33,264 --> 00:17:36,266
- Okay, which flavor?
- Surprise me.
423
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:39,034
Kind of like how you surprised
her with your girlfriend?
424
00:17:39,035 --> 00:17:42,171
Okay, I'm starting
to get a vibe here,
425
00:17:42,172 --> 00:17:44,140
and that's why I came in,
because I feel bad,
426
00:17:44,141 --> 00:17:46,675
the way things
went down between us,
427
00:17:46,676 --> 00:17:49,077
and I came to say good-bye
because I'm moving.
428
00:17:49,078 --> 00:17:51,079
Oh, moving.
To where?
429
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,748
- Manhattan.
- Manhattan?
430
00:17:53,749 --> 00:17:55,883
That hardly calls
for a good-bye speech.
431
00:17:55,884 --> 00:17:57,885
It's over there.
432
00:17:57,886 --> 00:18:00,021
Yeah, I know,
but it's a big change for me,
433
00:18:00,022 --> 00:18:01,088
and we're not going
to be rolling
434
00:18:01,089 --> 00:18:02,757
in the same circles
anymore,
435
00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:07,094
and I'm getting married...
Over there.
436
00:18:07,095 --> 00:18:09,763
Well, at least you and
your girlfriend worked it out.
437
00:18:09,764 --> 00:18:11,131
Actually, we broke up.
438
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:14,368
This is someone
I met a couple months ago.
439
00:18:15,537 --> 00:18:17,670
I was only
watching his lips,
440
00:18:17,671 --> 00:18:22,475
but did they just say
what I think they said?
441
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:25,077
Well, there's your cupcake.
That'll be $5.
442
00:18:25,078 --> 00:18:28,548
The price has gone up.
Yeah, we're successful now.
443
00:18:28,549 --> 00:18:31,551
In fact, we may be working
with Martha Stewart.
444
00:18:31,552 --> 00:18:33,818
Caroline knows her
from, you know, before.
445
00:18:33,819 --> 00:18:35,953
We're gonna talk it over
with her
446
00:18:35,954 --> 00:18:38,623
at the met gala ball
that Caroline got invited to.
447
00:18:38,624 --> 00:18:40,725
Martha's on the committee.
Caroline goes every year.
448
00:18:40,726 --> 00:18:42,527
Not a big deal.
449
00:18:42,528 --> 00:18:44,429
My first time.
Not a big deal either.
450
00:18:44,430 --> 00:18:45,830
In fact, none of it's
a big deal,
451
00:18:45,831 --> 00:18:48,132
just two girls
who are making it
452
00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:51,735
but who choose to stay
in Brooklyn 'cause we're cool.
453
00:18:51,736 --> 00:18:54,104
That's awesome, Max.
That's awesome.
454
00:18:54,105 --> 00:18:55,673
It's just funny,
because whenever I think of you,
455
00:18:55,674 --> 00:18:59,976
I think of you in this diner
in that uniform.
456
00:18:59,977 --> 00:19:01,712
In a good way.
457
00:19:05,349 --> 00:19:06,816
You want money now?
458
00:19:06,817 --> 00:19:08,751
Yeah.
It's business.
459
00:19:08,752 --> 00:19:11,554
It's not like we had
a relationship or anything.
460
00:19:11,555 --> 00:19:12,955
In fact,
you can pay Caroline.
461
00:19:12,956 --> 00:19:14,990
She's the money.
I'm the artist.
462
00:19:16,993 --> 00:19:20,263
You know, I'm doing pretty
well as an artist myself.
463
00:19:20,264 --> 00:19:22,163
I've been selling
a lot of my stuff.
464
00:19:22,164 --> 00:19:24,266
Really?
We hadn't heard.
465
00:19:24,267 --> 00:19:26,167
And there's your cupcake.
466
00:19:26,168 --> 00:19:28,570
In case you didn't notice,
that container's to go.
467
00:19:28,571 --> 00:19:30,305
Got it.
468
00:19:31,674 --> 00:19:33,675
He's gone.
I got rid of him.
469
00:19:33,676 --> 00:19:35,944
Max?
470
00:19:35,945 --> 00:19:37,411
What are you doing?
471
00:19:37,412 --> 00:19:40,448
Punching cheesecakes.
472
00:19:40,449 --> 00:19:42,850
It's my version
of going to bed for two days.
473
00:19:42,851 --> 00:19:44,084
Are you more upset
about the marriage thing
474
00:19:44,085 --> 00:19:46,254
or the uniform thing?
475
00:19:46,255 --> 00:19:48,522
Oh, this isn't about Johnny.
I'm mad at the cheesecakes.
476
00:19:48,523 --> 00:19:49,957
They were supposed
to have cherries on top,
477
00:19:49,958 --> 00:19:53,026
and I wanted cherries!
478
00:19:53,027 --> 00:19:57,029
Why not me?
479
00:19:57,030 --> 00:20:00,267
Okay, maybe it's half
no cherries, half Johnny.
480
00:20:00,268 --> 00:20:02,402
Nothing ever
does work out for us.
481
00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:04,404
And then I hear myself saying
all that ridiculous stuff
482
00:20:04,405 --> 00:20:06,673
about us talking
to Martha Stewart at the gala.
483
00:20:06,674 --> 00:20:08,308
I mean, what was that?
It's insane.
484
00:20:08,309 --> 00:20:10,476
Is it?
485
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:12,611
Wait, seriously, is it?
486
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,113
Or is it just insane enough
to be genius?
487
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,783
Max, we have the invitation.
She'll be there.
488
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,318
Why are we wasting our time
with Paul Platt
489
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:20,753
when we can
meet the real thing?
490
00:20:20,754 --> 00:20:22,488
We can take Martha
our best cupcake,
491
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:23,955
explain our situation,
492
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,956
and maybe...
Maybe she'll talk to us.
493
00:20:25,957 --> 00:20:27,792
I mean, she was a girl
with a dream once, too,
494
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:31,462
and she certainly
understands hard times.
495
00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:34,399
You are talking about us
stalking Martha Stewart.
496
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:38,235
I am talking about us
stalking Martha Stewart!
497
00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:41,305
I even have my gorgeous Judith
leiber jeweled cupcake purse
498
00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:43,239
to smuggle the cupcake in.
It's perfect.
499
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,709
I knew there was a reason
I took that from the townhouse.
500
00:20:45,710 --> 00:20:49,078
Great, you have a cupcake
and a cupcake purse.
501
00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:51,348
What else are we gonna
wear to the ball, cinderella?
502
00:20:51,349 --> 00:20:54,518
Are the rats in the alley gonna
whip us up some ball gowns?
503
00:20:54,519 --> 00:20:56,986
I mean, it's not exactly
like we have a fairy godmother.
504
00:20:56,987 --> 00:20:59,422
Hey, look, girls!
505
00:20:59,423 --> 00:21:05,428
I got myself a crown
and a wand at rhinestoned.
506
00:21:05,429 --> 00:21:09,064
I'll have the soup
in my booth.
507
00:21:12,202 --> 00:21:15,204
Well, this is as close
to a fairytale
508
00:21:15,205 --> 00:21:17,772
as you and I are ever gonna get,
so what the hell?
509
00:21:17,773 --> 00:21:19,274
Max, does that mean
we're gonna find
510
00:21:19,275 --> 00:21:20,575
a way to go to the ball?
511
00:21:20,576 --> 00:21:23,378
Oh, yeah.
Get your cupcake on,
512
00:21:23,379 --> 00:21:27,182
'cause we're gonna
get balled.
513
00:21:31,619 --> 00:21:33,620
Sophie, this is
so generous of you
514
00:21:33,621 --> 00:21:35,521
to offer to buy us dresses
for the gala,
515
00:21:35,522 --> 00:21:37,457
but as much as my shoes
love being back
516
00:21:37,458 --> 00:21:39,593
- in their place of birth...
- Oh, your shoes were born here?
517
00:21:39,594 --> 00:21:43,395
Mine were born in China,
but I adopted them at payless.
518
00:21:43,396 --> 00:21:45,030
Maybe we should
find something cheaper,
519
00:21:45,031 --> 00:21:46,732
at one of
those consignment stores.
520
00:21:46,733 --> 00:21:49,401
"Consignment stores"?
521
00:21:49,402 --> 00:21:51,637
Come on,
what are we, gypsies?
522
00:21:51,638 --> 00:21:55,440
This is big fancy ball.
We need ball gowns.
523
00:21:55,441 --> 00:21:57,442
Never really been
a fan of balls.
524
00:21:57,443 --> 00:21:59,043
In fact, always thought
they got in the way,
525
00:21:59,044 --> 00:22:00,812
but here we are.
526
00:22:00,813 --> 00:22:02,614
Well, we do have
to look amazing
527
00:22:02,615 --> 00:22:04,649
if we're approaching
Martha Stewart with a cupcake,
528
00:22:04,650 --> 00:22:06,417
so we'll find
a way to pay you back
529
00:22:06,418 --> 00:22:08,920
and start by doing some
cleaning jobs for you for free.
530
00:22:08,921 --> 00:22:12,924
No! Every year
I give money to charity,
531
00:22:12,925 --> 00:22:14,391
and I like
you two girls
532
00:22:14,392 --> 00:22:17,828
way more than the babies
with the broken smiles.
533
00:22:17,829 --> 00:22:21,164
So don't worry.
I got plenty of cash.
534
00:22:21,165 --> 00:22:23,734
Aww, a roll of hundreds.
535
00:22:23,735 --> 00:22:26,970
Reminds me of my Christmas
stocking stuffers.
536
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:29,906
Yeah, this is fun day.
537
00:22:29,907 --> 00:22:33,609
I'm like Richard Gere
and you're my two hookers.
538
00:22:33,610 --> 00:22:35,144
Well, when you put it
like that,
539
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:37,780
I'm a little
more comfortable.
540
00:22:37,781 --> 00:22:40,049
Good afternoon.
How can I help you?
541
00:22:40,050 --> 00:22:42,985
Hi, how are you?
We don't have a lot of time.
542
00:22:42,986 --> 00:22:44,586
We have to be
at work by 6:00.
543
00:22:44,587 --> 00:22:46,821
Can you show us your best
formal spring couture?
544
00:22:46,822 --> 00:22:50,091
Perhaps you ladies
might be more comfortable
545
00:22:50,092 --> 00:22:51,592
down in ready-to-wear.
546
00:22:51,593 --> 00:22:53,695
As I said,
we're in a bit of a rush.
547
00:22:53,696 --> 00:22:55,764
We might move a little quicker
if you dropped the attitude
548
00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:58,199
and picked up
some dresses.
549
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,402
Show her your wad.
550
00:23:01,403 --> 00:23:03,671
Let's look
at some dresses.
551
00:23:03,672 --> 00:23:05,773
Yeah, and get us
some champagne,
552
00:23:05,774 --> 00:23:08,075
like in the movies.
553
00:23:08,076 --> 00:23:10,377
♪ The patron, own,
let's go get it on ♪
554
00:23:10,378 --> 00:23:12,012
♪ the zone, own,
yes, I'm in the zone ♪
555
00:23:12,013 --> 00:23:14,114
♪ is it two, three,
leave a good tip ♪
556
00:23:14,115 --> 00:23:15,448
♪ I'm-a blow off my money
and don't give two...♪
557
00:23:15,449 --> 00:23:17,450
♪ I'm on the floor,
floor ♪
558
00:23:17,451 --> 00:23:19,118
♪ I love to dance ♪
559
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,788
♪ so give me more, more ♪
560
00:23:21,789 --> 00:23:22,855
♪ till I can't stand ♪
561
00:23:22,856 --> 00:23:25,291
♪ get on the floor, floor ♪
562
00:23:25,292 --> 00:23:26,826
♪ like it's your last chance ♪
563
00:23:26,827 --> 00:23:29,128
♪ if you want more, more ♪
564
00:23:29,129 --> 00:23:31,630
♪ then here I am ♪
565
00:23:31,631 --> 00:23:35,667
♪ starships
were meant to fly ♪
566
00:23:35,668 --> 00:23:39,604
♪ hands up
and touch the sky ♪
567
00:23:39,605 --> 00:23:43,308
♪ can't stop,
'cause we're so high ♪
568
00:23:43,309 --> 00:23:46,878
♪ let's do this
one more time ♪
569
00:23:46,879 --> 00:23:51,316
♪ starships
were meant to fly ♪
570
00:23:51,317 --> 00:23:54,752
♪ hands up
and touch the sky ♪
571
00:23:54,753 --> 00:23:58,155
♪ let's do this
one last time ♪
572
00:23:58,156 --> 00:23:59,657
♪ hands up ♪
573
00:23:59,658 --> 00:24:02,560
♪ we're higher than
a mother...♪
574
00:24:07,665 --> 00:24:09,666
♪ higher than a mother...♪
575
00:24:09,667 --> 00:24:11,368
♪ jump in my hoopty
hoopty hoop ♪
576
00:24:11,369 --> 00:24:13,103
♪ I own that ♪
577
00:24:13,104 --> 00:24:15,171
♪ and I ain't paying
my rent this month ♪
578
00:24:15,172 --> 00:24:17,073
♪ I owe that ♪
579
00:24:17,074 --> 00:24:19,075
♪ but... who you want
and... who you like ♪
580
00:24:19,076 --> 00:24:21,010
♪ dance your life,
there's no end in sight ♪
581
00:24:21,011 --> 00:24:23,579
♪ twinkle, twinkle,
little star ♪
582
00:24:23,580 --> 00:24:25,548
♪ now, everybody,
let me hear you say ♪
583
00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:29,252
♪ starships
were meant to fly ♪
584
00:24:29,253 --> 00:24:32,788
♪ hands up
and touch the sky ♪
585
00:24:32,789 --> 00:24:37,192
♪ starships
were meant to fly ♪
586
00:24:37,193 --> 00:24:40,895
♪ hands up,
and touch the sky ♪
587
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,398
♪ let's do this
one more time ♪
588
00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:45,967
♪ oh oh oh ♪
589
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:52,974
One, two.
590
00:24:52,975 --> 00:24:56,009
Han, did you just go up
on your tiptoes like a big boy?
591
00:24:56,010 --> 00:24:58,612
Well, I wasn't expecting
a photo opportunity.
592
00:24:58,613 --> 00:25:00,814
And I left my tom cruise
man-heels at home.
593
00:25:00,815 --> 00:25:02,416
Max, give him a break.
594
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:04,618
This is a man who was
too short to be a jockey.
595
00:25:04,619 --> 00:25:05,753
Oleg, give me your camera.
596
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:07,220
I must approve picture.
597
00:25:07,221 --> 00:25:08,989
We've taken it
three times already.
598
00:25:08,990 --> 00:25:11,924
Han, if you want
a nip slip, just ask.
599
00:25:11,925 --> 00:25:14,527
My dress is too pretty
for this conversation,
600
00:25:14,528 --> 00:25:16,962
so I'm gonna go get the cupcake
from the refrigerator.
601
00:25:16,963 --> 00:25:20,300
And I'm going to warm up
my new town car for the ladies.
602
00:25:20,301 --> 00:25:22,702
New?
603
00:25:22,703 --> 00:25:25,971
What is this, 2002?
604
00:25:25,972 --> 00:25:27,506
I hope so,
605
00:25:27,507 --> 00:25:29,908
then I will have chance
to meet you for first time
606
00:25:29,909 --> 00:25:32,010
all over again.
607
00:25:32,011 --> 00:25:35,914
Now this is not
professional driver talk.
608
00:25:35,915 --> 00:25:38,917
Hey, fancy ball Buster,
what's your deal?
609
00:25:38,918 --> 00:25:40,352
You told him to get
a dream and a drive,
610
00:25:40,353 --> 00:25:41,520
and he did.
611
00:25:41,521 --> 00:25:43,921
Max, I have two sore spots.
612
00:25:43,922 --> 00:25:45,989
Trusting men and...
613
00:25:45,990 --> 00:25:47,325
And here, where that
crazy Jamaican
614
00:25:47,326 --> 00:25:49,760
wove my extensions
too tight.
615
00:25:49,761 --> 00:25:51,796
I'm thinking I should wait
to put the cupcake
616
00:25:51,797 --> 00:25:53,831
in the cupcake purse
till we get out of the car.
617
00:25:53,832 --> 00:25:55,599
We want our beer batter
maple bacon cupcake
618
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,368
to represent
our cupcake business.
619
00:25:57,369 --> 00:25:58,869
We have a new record.
620
00:25:58,870 --> 00:26:03,172
She cupcake four times
in one speech.
621
00:26:03,173 --> 00:26:04,941
We should go.
Upper East Side from Brooklyn
622
00:26:04,942 --> 00:26:06,809
at this time of day
is crazy.
623
00:26:06,810 --> 00:26:08,644
But we came in here
to show Earl.
624
00:26:08,645 --> 00:26:09,845
Maybe Earl decided
not to come
625
00:26:09,846 --> 00:26:11,347
since he had the night off.
626
00:26:11,348 --> 00:26:13,449
Max, we really should
be there at the start.
627
00:26:13,450 --> 00:26:16,084
That's prime Martha Stewart
stalking time.
628
00:26:16,085 --> 00:26:17,453
You're right.
And Martha will probably
629
00:26:17,454 --> 00:26:18,821
have to leave early
to get up to bake;
630
00:26:18,822 --> 00:26:20,823
A little something
I knows about.
631
00:26:20,824 --> 00:26:22,757
The only difference
between Martha and I
632
00:26:22,758 --> 00:26:24,191
is she probably doesn't
have to worry about
633
00:26:24,192 --> 00:26:25,660
waking up her roommate
who lives
634
00:26:25,661 --> 00:26:26,961
four feet from the oven.
635
00:26:26,962 --> 00:26:29,864
But otherwise, twinsies!
636
00:26:32,234 --> 00:26:35,837
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
637
00:26:35,838 --> 00:26:37,772
Earl, slow down,
your heart.
638
00:26:37,773 --> 00:26:38,872
Sorry I'm late, ladies.
639
00:26:38,873 --> 00:26:40,640
But if I run any faster,
the cops
640
00:26:40,641 --> 00:26:43,510
tend to pull guns on me.
641
00:26:43,511 --> 00:26:44,978
Got held up
at the florist shop,
642
00:26:44,979 --> 00:26:47,146
but I made it.
Here you go, ladies.
643
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:50,083
Aww, Earl,
you got us flowers?
644
00:26:50,084 --> 00:26:51,451
Wrist corsages.
645
00:26:51,452 --> 00:26:52,786
I hope they're still
in style.
646
00:26:52,787 --> 00:26:54,387
They're a classic, Earl.
647
00:26:54,388 --> 00:26:55,888
Like you.
648
00:26:58,157 --> 00:27:01,927
Mmm, that was
worth the run.
649
00:27:01,928 --> 00:27:03,061
Let's go, ladies.
650
00:27:03,062 --> 00:27:06,031
Oleg is waiting
to drive you.
651
00:27:06,032 --> 00:27:08,934
And you drive me crazy.
652
00:27:08,935 --> 00:27:11,235
Yeah, yeah.
Tell it to the marines.
653
00:27:11,236 --> 00:27:12,937
Here, Earl,
take my phone.
654
00:27:12,938 --> 00:27:15,740
I can't fit it
in the purse with my cupcake.
655
00:27:15,741 --> 00:27:17,942
Have the best time
in the world.
656
00:27:17,943 --> 00:27:20,378
And say hello
to "huge" Jackman for me.
657
00:27:29,921 --> 00:27:32,022
That is not a good sign.
658
00:27:32,023 --> 00:27:34,591
That car is smoking harder
than Bob Marley
659
00:27:34,592 --> 00:27:37,260
on a rasta holiday.
660
00:27:41,227 --> 00:27:44,004
Sophie, if my cousin Yuri
said he would be here
661
00:27:44,005 --> 00:27:45,939
in half hour
with parts to fix,
662
00:27:45,940 --> 00:27:47,907
he will be here
in half hour.
663
00:27:47,908 --> 00:27:49,075
Actually, it's been
40 minutes.
664
00:27:49,076 --> 00:27:50,977
Your cousin is like you.
665
00:27:50,978 --> 00:27:54,347
- He takes too long to come.
- Oh, this is news.
666
00:27:54,348 --> 00:27:57,183
Suddenly a woman
wants a man to finish fast.
667
00:27:57,184 --> 00:27:58,651
Oh, please.
668
00:27:58,652 --> 00:28:00,819
Sex is not
a carnival cruise.
669
00:28:00,820 --> 00:28:02,021
I'm a busy woman.
670
00:28:02,022 --> 00:28:04,256
You get on,
you get off.
671
00:28:04,257 --> 00:28:06,125
Can I get a hit off that?
672
00:28:06,126 --> 00:28:08,193
We'll just have to wait,
I guess.
673
00:28:08,194 --> 00:28:10,696
I mean, if I still lived
in Manhattan, I'd hail a cab.
674
00:28:10,697 --> 00:28:13,165
But that's not gonna happen
out here in the boondocks!
675
00:28:13,166 --> 00:28:14,999
Plus, even if we could
afford a cab,
676
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,368
we'd be stuck forever
in rush hour gridlock.
677
00:28:17,369 --> 00:28:18,703
Could you take it down
a notch?
678
00:28:18,704 --> 00:28:20,004
Hipsters are starting
to look at us
679
00:28:20,005 --> 00:28:21,939
like we're trying too hard.
680
00:28:21,940 --> 00:28:23,474
Where did han go?
681
00:28:23,475 --> 00:28:25,043
He said he might
have a plan.
682
00:28:25,044 --> 00:28:28,112
Oh, my lord and Taylor!
683
00:28:39,557 --> 00:28:42,625
That little mother
can ride.
684
00:28:49,066 --> 00:28:52,702
You two look like
two princesses in a fairy tale.
685
00:28:52,703 --> 00:28:54,203
Are you feeling safe?
686
00:28:54,204 --> 00:28:55,637
I couldn't feel any safer
687
00:28:55,638 --> 00:28:58,074
if we were riding
a rubber into town.
688
00:28:58,075 --> 00:28:59,641
Here we go.
Bye, guys.
689
00:28:59,642 --> 00:29:02,711
- Bye.
- Go, Chestnut!
690
00:29:12,421 --> 00:29:14,923
Oh, check it out.
You see what I see?
691
00:29:14,924 --> 00:29:16,591
Hello, officers.
692
00:29:16,592 --> 00:29:18,158
We're on way to the ball
down the street,
693
00:29:18,159 --> 00:29:19,459
and we were wondering
if we could please leave
694
00:29:19,460 --> 00:29:21,128
our horse with your horses?
695
00:29:21,129 --> 00:29:22,462
And I can save you
the time
696
00:29:22,463 --> 00:29:23,764
on the breathalyzer test;
697
00:29:23,765 --> 00:29:25,465
No, we are not drunk
698
00:29:25,466 --> 00:29:27,567
or on some bachelorette
party scavenger hunt.
699
00:29:27,568 --> 00:29:28,969
Our car broke down
in Brooklyn,
700
00:29:28,970 --> 00:29:30,738
so we rode over
the Brooklyn bridge and up.
701
00:29:30,739 --> 00:29:33,440
You rode a horse
across the Brooklyn bridge?
702
00:29:33,441 --> 00:29:35,407
That's badass.
703
00:29:35,408 --> 00:29:37,676
Yes...
And illegal.
704
00:29:37,677 --> 00:29:40,012
In that case,
we took the tunnel.
705
00:29:40,013 --> 00:29:42,581
Well, I think we can help
you two ladies.
706
00:29:42,582 --> 00:29:44,751
Not gonna happen, Dave.
We're on duty.
707
00:29:44,752 --> 00:29:46,719
Officers, we're already
a little late.
708
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,420
And with all due respect,
we don't have time
709
00:29:48,421 --> 00:29:50,021
to play good cop,
bad cop.
710
00:29:50,022 --> 00:29:53,424
Or in your cases,
hot cop, hot cop.
711
00:29:53,425 --> 00:29:56,228
Well, I think we can help
you ladies.
712
00:29:56,229 --> 00:29:57,763
Let's get you down
off of there.
713
00:29:57,764 --> 00:30:00,331
I got the one
in the low-cut.
714
00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:04,369
Thanks officer hot
and officer hotter.
715
00:30:04,370 --> 00:30:06,170
You know I'm officer hotter,
right?
716
00:30:06,171 --> 00:30:07,537
Oh, come on, man.
Have you seen me
717
00:30:07,538 --> 00:30:10,440
in my sunglasses?
No contest.
718
00:30:15,013 --> 00:30:16,914
Max, I'm really impressed
with how well
719
00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:18,715
you're maneuvering around
in that long skirt.
720
00:30:18,716 --> 00:30:21,851
Yeah, I was a serving wench
at a medieval times restaurant.
721
00:30:21,852 --> 00:30:23,386
It's a breeze
when I'm not carrying
722
00:30:23,387 --> 00:30:26,689
a tray loaded
with Turkey legs and ale.
723
00:30:26,690 --> 00:30:28,524
There's the "will call"
table.
724
00:30:28,525 --> 00:30:30,393
Walk in front
and I'll hide behind you,
725
00:30:30,394 --> 00:30:32,929
as I'm the most hated woman
in New York.
726
00:30:32,930 --> 00:30:34,630
So basically,
I'm a human shield?
727
00:30:34,631 --> 00:30:37,700
Well, you have more up here
to stop anything.
728
00:30:39,235 --> 00:30:40,368
- Max!
- What?
729
00:30:40,369 --> 00:30:41,569
Did someone pull a gun?
730
00:30:41,570 --> 00:30:43,305
I knew that
was gonna happen.
731
00:30:43,306 --> 00:30:45,073
No, I screamed because
I saw the couple
732
00:30:45,074 --> 00:30:48,343
whose sworn statement
put my father in prison.
733
00:30:48,344 --> 00:30:49,644
Max!
734
00:30:49,645 --> 00:30:51,013
Acid in your pretty face?
735
00:30:51,014 --> 00:30:52,714
Sorry, I stayed up
all night reading
736
00:30:52,715 --> 00:30:54,982
what people want to do
to you in your hate mail.
737
00:30:54,983 --> 00:30:56,818
What was it?
738
00:30:56,819 --> 00:30:59,720
I went down so fast,
I may have smeared my cupcake.
739
00:30:59,721 --> 00:31:02,790
That's the filthiest sounding
clean thing I ever heard.
740
00:31:02,791 --> 00:31:04,725
It's fine. Good.
741
00:31:04,726 --> 00:31:06,760
Now let's go get those cheap
plastic security bracelets
742
00:31:06,761 --> 00:31:10,430
that ruin
our expensive gowns.
743
00:31:10,431 --> 00:31:12,332
- Can I get your name?
- Caroline...
744
00:31:12,333 --> 00:31:13,599
Channing.
745
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:14,901
I'm sorry, what?
746
00:31:14,902 --> 00:31:15,902
Caroline...
747
00:31:15,903 --> 00:31:17,503
Channing.
748
00:31:17,504 --> 00:31:19,206
What's with you?
Just say your name.
749
00:31:19,207 --> 00:31:20,573
Channing.
750
00:31:20,574 --> 00:31:23,509
Did you say channing?
Caroline channing?
751
00:31:23,510 --> 00:31:26,678
Wait, are you
that Caroline channing?
752
00:31:26,679 --> 00:31:29,448
Shh, yes, and I personally
called the R.S.V.P. number.
753
00:31:29,449 --> 00:31:30,749
It has to be there.
754
00:31:30,750 --> 00:31:33,319
Channing,
channing, channing...
755
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,520
No, I don't see
"Caroline channing."
756
00:31:35,521 --> 00:31:37,622
Shh.
Maybe it's under my name.
757
00:31:37,623 --> 00:31:39,424
Max black.
I'm with her.
758
00:31:39,425 --> 00:31:42,961
Black... no, no, no,
I don't see any blacks here.
759
00:31:42,962 --> 00:31:45,964
You mean besides
the ones working security?
760
00:31:45,965 --> 00:31:49,267
Let me check with Paul Platt,
the party planner.
761
00:31:49,268 --> 00:31:50,735
He's on the phone
with him right now.
762
00:31:50,736 --> 00:31:54,272
- Hey, Brody.
- Oh, no.
763
00:31:54,273 --> 00:31:56,875
There's a problem
with the list.
764
00:31:56,876 --> 00:31:58,942
She's not on it.
Her.
765
00:31:58,943 --> 00:32:01,111
- Caroline channing.
- Sh
766
00:32:01,112 --> 00:32:02,445
Paul, I've got
Caroline channing,
767
00:32:02,446 --> 00:32:03,981
and she's not on the list.
768
00:32:03,982 --> 00:32:07,217
If everybody in this line
could just wait until
769
00:32:07,218 --> 00:32:10,921
we get the Caroline channing
situation under control...
770
00:32:10,922 --> 00:32:13,490
If you say "channing"
one more time,
771
00:32:13,491 --> 00:32:15,758
I'm going to actually
pull your voice box out.
772
00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:18,227
And its s so much
more violent than it sounds.
773
00:32:18,228 --> 00:32:19,695
Yes, Paul,
I'll tell them.
774
00:32:19,696 --> 00:32:21,063
There's been
a little mix-up.
775
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:22,498
Five more minutes
will get you right in.
776
00:32:22,499 --> 00:32:26,068
You're not getting in.
777
00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:29,138
Well, that's it.
We tried.
778
00:32:29,139 --> 00:32:30,838
- We gave it our best shot.
- Oh, no.
779
00:32:30,839 --> 00:32:32,740
This is the closest
I have ever gotten
780
00:32:32,741 --> 00:32:35,143
to anything in my life
almost working out.
781
00:32:35,144 --> 00:32:37,678
- We are not giving up.
- How are we getting in?
782
00:32:37,679 --> 00:32:40,315
- Security's everywhere.
- Yeah, out here,
783
00:32:40,316 --> 00:32:41,783
but not
at the servers' entrance.
784
00:32:41,784 --> 00:32:43,418
I catered this
last year.
785
00:32:43,419 --> 00:32:45,153
That's right,
we're going backdoor.
786
00:32:47,155 --> 00:32:48,588
Ooh!
787
00:32:49,424 --> 00:32:51,926
That lady
just punched me.
788
00:32:51,927 --> 00:32:55,095
I knew
that was gonna happen!
789
00:33:02,336 --> 00:33:04,971
So you can
just walk in here?
790
00:33:04,972 --> 00:33:06,940
Anyone can
just walk right in?
791
00:33:06,941 --> 00:33:08,607
Well, it helps
that last year
792
00:33:08,608 --> 00:33:10,176
I made out with
the tent flap guard, Rico,
793
00:33:10,177 --> 00:33:12,145
but basically,
yeah, anyone.
794
00:33:12,146 --> 00:33:13,679
When I think
of all the times
795
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:15,614
I left my purse
on a table here unattended,
796
00:33:15,615 --> 00:33:18,383
I shudder...
Shudder.
797
00:33:18,384 --> 00:33:20,852
Okay, so we can't
get in the actual building
798
00:33:20,853 --> 00:33:22,354
without being caterers,
799
00:33:22,355 --> 00:33:23,655
so we have to change
into those uniforms.
800
00:33:23,656 --> 00:33:24,990
Wait.
801
00:33:24,991 --> 00:33:26,123
You never mentioned
anything about
802
00:33:26,124 --> 00:33:27,658
a rent-a-clothes
situation.
803
00:33:27,659 --> 00:33:30,361
Small price to pay
for us making it.
804
00:33:30,362 --> 00:33:34,966
Is it? Is it
a small price to pay?
805
00:33:37,235 --> 00:33:39,937
Hurry, we have
a superstar to stalk!
806
00:33:39,938 --> 00:33:42,205
I thought I would hate it,
but I'm kind of into it.
807
00:33:42,206 --> 00:33:43,873
I'm very Janelle Monae.
808
00:33:43,874 --> 00:33:46,576
No, you're Janelle
I-have-no-Monae.
809
00:33:46,577 --> 00:33:48,644
What are we going to do
with our dresses?
810
00:33:48,645 --> 00:33:50,480
We can't leave them out here.
I need them inside.
811
00:33:50,481 --> 00:33:52,415
I have to look amazing
when I meet Martha Stewart.
812
00:33:52,416 --> 00:33:54,250
What does it matter
what we're wearing?
813
00:33:54,251 --> 00:33:55,852
We're still going to be
the two crazy girls
814
00:33:55,853 --> 00:33:57,887
chasing her down
with a cupcake.
815
00:33:57,888 --> 00:34:00,356
- That's why it matters.
- Oh, ooh!
816
00:34:00,357 --> 00:34:01,756
I know.
Here.
817
00:34:01,757 --> 00:34:03,125
Help me get
the shelves out of this.
818
00:34:03,126 --> 00:34:04,360
We can hang
our dresses in here
819
00:34:04,361 --> 00:34:06,228
and push them in.
Brilliant.
820
00:34:06,229 --> 00:34:08,530
Kind of like the Louis Vuitton
travel wardrobe I used to have.
821
00:34:08,531 --> 00:34:12,368
Or the service elevator
I was born in.
822
00:34:14,403 --> 00:34:15,903
Coming through, hot food.
823
00:34:15,904 --> 00:34:17,771
Look out, very hot!
Man, it's hot.
824
00:34:17,772 --> 00:34:19,040
You're a waiter,
not a weatherman.
825
00:34:19,041 --> 00:34:20,674
Hey, pretty girls,
826
00:34:20,675 --> 00:34:23,011
I like the way you push around
that big steel box
827
00:34:23,012 --> 00:34:26,280
why don't you come over here
and I'll have sex with you?
828
00:34:26,281 --> 00:34:29,450
A display like that
really makes you appreciate
829
00:34:29,451 --> 00:34:31,318
oleg's nuanced wit.
830
00:34:33,687 --> 00:34:36,056
Okay, let's go right
to the ladies room
831
00:34:36,057 --> 00:34:37,290
so we can change.
832
00:34:37,291 --> 00:34:40,060
Is it that way
or that way?
833
00:34:40,061 --> 00:34:41,194
What?
834
00:34:41,195 --> 00:34:42,595
Shh, Johnny!
835
00:34:42,596 --> 00:34:44,764
How'd he get invited?
836
00:34:44,765 --> 00:34:46,832
This used to be
an exclusive event.
837
00:34:46,833 --> 00:34:48,100
He's "made it,"
838
00:34:48,101 --> 00:34:49,801
he goes where
"made it" people go.
839
00:34:49,802 --> 00:34:51,770
Why are we hiding
from that lowlife?
840
00:34:51,771 --> 00:34:54,440
If he sees me
in another waiter uniform,
841
00:34:54,441 --> 00:34:56,442
I'm the sad girl
always in the uniform.
842
00:34:56,443 --> 00:34:58,210
If he sees me
in that dress at the ball,
843
00:34:58,211 --> 00:34:59,245
he can suck it.
844
00:34:59,246 --> 00:35:03,148
Ladies room, that way.
845
00:35:06,985 --> 00:35:09,354
The ladies room
is right down here.
846
00:35:09,355 --> 00:35:12,823
Push harder. Harder!
847
00:35:12,824 --> 00:35:15,060
Do you want Martha
to see you dressed like that?
848
00:35:15,061 --> 00:35:16,561
- Move! Coming through!
- Excuse us.
849
00:35:16,562 --> 00:35:18,929
Food emergency.
850
00:35:18,930 --> 00:35:20,264
Fingers, fingers,
fingers, fingers.
851
00:35:20,265 --> 00:35:21,765
Coming through,
coming through.
852
00:35:21,766 --> 00:35:22,999
- Excuse us.
- Look alive, red!
853
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,502
- I almost hit you.
- Hold up.
854
00:35:25,503 --> 00:35:27,471
Now just hold up.
What is going on right now?
855
00:35:27,472 --> 00:35:29,039
You can't bring
food in here.
856
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,208
Oh, it's not food.
That would be weird.
857
00:35:31,209 --> 00:35:33,544
It's dresses.
We have to change into these,
858
00:35:33,545 --> 00:35:35,010
'cause she has this guy
she wants to impress,
859
00:35:35,011 --> 00:35:36,412
and I have to change
into it
860
00:35:36,413 --> 00:35:38,247
because I'm stalking
Martha Stewart.
861
00:35:38,248 --> 00:35:40,983
Ooh, I'd be
a terrible spy.
862
00:35:40,984 --> 00:35:42,351
Usually I don't get
the long stories
863
00:35:42,352 --> 00:35:43,652
till the end of the night,
864
00:35:43,653 --> 00:35:45,121
and by then,
the girls are crying
865
00:35:45,122 --> 00:35:47,723
and begging me
for Wisdom and tic tacs.
866
00:35:47,724 --> 00:35:49,092
I'll go first.
867
00:35:49,093 --> 00:35:50,625
I have to get two of these
in one dress.
868
00:35:50,626 --> 00:35:52,561
Miss, do you have
a shoehorn?
869
00:35:59,005 --> 00:36:02,207
Come on,
chanel shoes!
870
00:36:02,208 --> 00:36:05,510
Come on,
chanel knockoffs.
871
00:36:05,511 --> 00:36:06,712
Why are you
not dressed yet?
872
00:36:06,713 --> 00:36:08,947
'Cause ladies take forever.
873
00:36:08,948 --> 00:36:10,982
It's all the spanx.
874
00:36:10,983 --> 00:36:13,719
Well, go, use my stall.
I want to go stick my head out,
875
00:36:13,720 --> 00:36:17,187
and see if I
can scope out Johnny.
876
00:36:17,188 --> 00:36:19,323
No, ma'am, no!
Not fair, ma'am.
877
00:36:19,324 --> 00:36:21,291
Try the handicapper.
This side.
878
00:36:21,292 --> 00:36:23,561
Good idea.
879
00:36:23,562 --> 00:36:27,598
I cannot
get a break tonight.
880
00:36:29,801 --> 00:36:33,236
- Psst, yo, Max.
- Johnny!
881
00:36:33,237 --> 00:36:35,171
Who are you looking for?
882
00:36:35,172 --> 00:36:37,206
The Dominos guy.
883
00:36:37,207 --> 00:36:38,808
I was hiding in there,
'cause five more minutes,
884
00:36:38,809 --> 00:36:40,410
the pizza's free.
885
00:36:40,411 --> 00:36:42,545
I was hoping
I'd run into you.
886
00:36:42,546 --> 00:36:43,913
Eh, no big deal.
887
00:36:43,914 --> 00:36:45,982
Pretty big deal.
You look amazing.
888
00:36:45,983 --> 00:36:50,051
Amazing. I will go
as far as amaze-balls.
889
00:36:50,052 --> 00:36:51,687
Thanks.
890
00:36:51,688 --> 00:36:53,088
You look like a guy
in a commercial
891
00:36:53,089 --> 00:36:55,824
who has a ring and puppy
hidden somewhere.
892
00:36:55,825 --> 00:36:57,493
Can you believe it?
893
00:36:57,494 --> 00:36:59,294
We're both
at this shmancy thing.
894
00:36:59,295 --> 00:37:00,763
Look how far we've gotten.
895
00:37:00,764 --> 00:37:03,231
Actually,
when you think about it,
896
00:37:03,232 --> 00:37:07,502
we didn't get
very far at all.
897
00:37:07,503 --> 00:37:09,437
Nope, you're right.
We didn't.
898
00:37:09,438 --> 00:37:13,541
Yeah, why?
899
00:37:13,542 --> 00:37:15,710
Timing, I guess.
900
00:37:15,711 --> 00:37:18,746
Timing?
901
00:37:18,747 --> 00:37:20,180
Okay, whatever.
902
00:37:20,181 --> 00:37:23,483
You know, from now on,
when I think of you,
903
00:37:23,484 --> 00:37:26,753
I'm gonna think of you in this
and not the uniform.
904
00:37:28,222 --> 00:37:29,923
You know,
from now on,
905
00:37:29,924 --> 00:37:33,860
maybe you shouldn't
think of me at all.
906
00:37:33,861 --> 00:37:35,495
Gotta go,
Mr. Manhattan.
907
00:37:38,899 --> 00:37:41,867
That was awesome!
Caroline, where are you?
908
00:37:41,868 --> 00:37:43,268
I'm almost dressed.
909
00:37:43,269 --> 00:37:45,971
I just had the perfect
in-your-face good-bye
910
00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:47,205
with Johnny.
911
00:37:47,206 --> 00:37:49,675
And speaking of
"in your face,"
912
00:37:49,676 --> 00:37:51,944
he couldn't take his eyes
off my boobs...
913
00:37:51,945 --> 00:37:53,878
Boobs that
he can never have,
914
00:37:53,879 --> 00:37:57,214
now that
he's getting married.
915
00:37:59,718 --> 00:38:01,886
Damn, girl, you look good.
What you doing later?
916
00:38:01,887 --> 00:38:07,425
Can I get your number?
917
00:38:07,426 --> 00:38:11,061
Oh, no, the cupcake got
a little smushed in my purse.
918
00:38:11,062 --> 00:38:13,730
We can't show this
to Martha Stewart now.
919
00:38:13,731 --> 00:38:15,298
Sure, we can.
920
00:38:15,299 --> 00:38:16,500
You think she never
had a cupcake smush on her?
921
00:38:16,501 --> 00:38:18,134
I doubt that very much.
922
00:38:18,135 --> 00:38:20,003
Martha Stewart
is perfect.
923
00:38:20,004 --> 00:38:21,872
Her feet don't even
touch the ground.
924
00:38:21,873 --> 00:38:23,774
The woman probably doesn't
even go to the bathroom.
925
00:38:26,677 --> 00:38:29,745
Martha Stewart's
hardly perfect.
926
00:38:29,746 --> 00:38:31,881
And how are you
this evening?
927
00:38:31,882 --> 00:38:34,083
No, you're right,
Martha Stewart isn't perfect.
928
00:38:34,084 --> 00:38:36,318
Oh, I never said that!
929
00:38:36,319 --> 00:38:40,022
In fact, I hear
she's a real ballbuster.
930
00:38:40,023 --> 00:38:41,356
You did not hear that.
931
00:38:41,357 --> 00:38:43,291
Yep, a real ballbuster,
you know?
932
00:38:43,292 --> 00:38:44,926
No, I do not know.
933
00:38:44,927 --> 00:38:50,098
Would you mind handing me
a towelette please?
934
00:38:50,099 --> 00:38:52,367
Oh, one's fine.
Thank you so much.
935
00:38:52,368 --> 00:38:54,703
But the fact that Martha
Stewart is so tough...
936
00:38:54,704 --> 00:38:56,670
Caroline, you need
to get out here right now.
937
00:38:56,671 --> 00:38:59,940
The fact that she
is a real ballbuster...
938
00:38:59,941 --> 00:39:01,775
Oh, dear God, help me.
939
00:39:01,776 --> 00:39:03,443
Is what I like
and respect about her.
940
00:39:03,444 --> 00:39:05,112
I mean,
the woman's a genius.
941
00:39:05,113 --> 00:39:07,615
Now it's getting
interesting.
942
00:39:07,616 --> 00:39:09,049
And besides, you can't
really believe gossip.
943
00:39:09,050 --> 00:39:10,317
Look at all
that hate mail I got
944
00:39:10,318 --> 00:39:12,019
with people
calling me a bitch,
945
00:39:12,020 --> 00:39:13,553
and I'm not a bitch.
946
00:39:13,554 --> 00:39:15,989
Well, that's debatable.
947
00:39:15,990 --> 00:39:19,258
- Martha Stewart, hi.
- Hello.
948
00:39:19,259 --> 00:39:21,794
I'm Caroline, and this is
my business partner, Max,
949
00:39:21,795 --> 00:39:23,530
and we have
a start-up cupcake business.
950
00:39:23,531 --> 00:39:26,399
Dude, are you serious?
You're still going for it.
951
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,034
I know this is
highly inappropriate,
952
00:39:28,035 --> 00:39:29,568
but we brought
a cupcake here tonight
953
00:39:29,569 --> 00:39:31,069
in hopes that
you might taste it.
954
00:39:31,070 --> 00:39:33,304
So you want me
to taste your cupcake
955
00:39:33,305 --> 00:39:34,806
in the ladies room.
956
00:39:34,807 --> 00:39:37,075
What's inappropriate
about that?
957
00:39:37,076 --> 00:39:39,545
We're a start-up business.
We've got to take risks.
958
00:39:39,546 --> 00:39:40,913
This is Max.
She's the baker.
959
00:39:40,914 --> 00:39:42,280
You're the baker.
960
00:39:42,281 --> 00:39:44,516
I'm the baker.
961
00:39:44,517 --> 00:39:46,150
Hm, it looks
quite appealing.
962
00:39:46,151 --> 00:39:48,519
Oh, my God.
963
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,120
I know this
is a social event,
964
00:39:50,121 --> 00:39:52,322
so I'm so sorry
for making it about business.
965
00:39:52,323 --> 00:39:53,691
When you're in business
for yourself,
966
00:39:53,692 --> 00:39:55,492
you have
to take every situation
967
00:39:55,493 --> 00:39:57,327
as a business opportunity.
968
00:39:57,328 --> 00:40:01,264
Look, I have
five of these in here.
969
00:40:01,265 --> 00:40:04,267
I love your magazine.
970
00:40:04,268 --> 00:40:06,135
I read every single issue
971
00:40:06,136 --> 00:40:09,439
until they realized I didn't
even go to that doctor.
972
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,407
Well, in spite
of the fact
973
00:40:11,408 --> 00:40:13,443
that you have not
yet washed your hands...
974
00:40:13,444 --> 00:40:15,411
I was just changing
my dress in there.
975
00:40:15,412 --> 00:40:17,345
- I'll taste it.
- You will?
976
00:40:17,346 --> 00:40:19,982
I like
your entrepreneurial drive.
977
00:40:19,983 --> 00:40:22,184
And I have a feeling
that it's actually
978
00:40:22,185 --> 00:40:24,419
the only way I'm gonna
get out of here alive.
979
00:40:24,420 --> 00:40:29,058
That is our beer batter maple
bacon spring break cupcake.
980
00:40:29,059 --> 00:40:31,694
- Hm, clever name.
- Thank you.
981
00:40:31,695 --> 00:40:33,360
It is a little smushed,
though. That's unfortunate.
982
00:40:33,361 --> 00:40:37,031
I told you.
983
00:40:39,534 --> 00:40:41,435
Mmm.
Quiet tasty.
984
00:40:41,436 --> 00:40:43,771
I like it.
985
00:40:43,772 --> 00:40:46,273
Do you girls have a card?
986
00:40:46,274 --> 00:40:50,043
Get it out, get it out,
get it out.
987
00:40:50,044 --> 00:40:52,879
Ah, thank you very much.
988
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,348
"Max's homemade cupcakes."
989
00:40:55,349 --> 00:40:58,284
Well, you know who'd
really like that cupcake?
990
00:40:58,285 --> 00:41:00,386
Stoners.
991
00:41:02,223 --> 00:41:05,157
She said
"Max's homemade cupcakes."
992
00:41:05,158 --> 00:41:08,494
Martha Stewart
likes our cupcakes!
993
00:41:08,495 --> 00:41:12,098
Martha Stewart
likes our cupcakes!
994
00:41:13,841 --> 00:41:17,675
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/