1
00:00:00,982 --> 00:00:02,822
Hey, I'm gonna go
to the bathroom real quick.
2
00:00:02,824 --> 00:00:03,944
I want to look in the mirror
3
00:00:03,945 --> 00:00:05,625
and make sure
I'm still dead in the eyes.
4
00:00:06,255 --> 00:00:08,988
You think you can handle my section?
5
00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:12,375
Yeah, I think I can handle it.
6
00:00:12,377 --> 00:00:14,108
Hey, Earl, I don't know if you noticed,
7
00:00:14,109 --> 00:00:15,829
but I'm running
the whole diner right now.
8
00:00:15,831 --> 00:00:17,931
What, what?
9
00:00:18,433 --> 00:00:20,500
The customer at table ten
appears to be choking,
10
00:00:20,502 --> 00:00:22,302
and I would help,
11
00:00:22,304 --> 00:00:24,554
but the last time I gave
a white woman the heimlich,
12
00:00:24,556 --> 00:00:27,507
I did six months
in the Birmingham city jail.
13
00:00:27,509 --> 00:00:30,310
Oh, my God, are you choking?
14
00:00:30,312 --> 00:00:32,812
Oh, my God, I feel like you're choking!
15
00:00:32,814 --> 00:00:34,447
Is anyone here a doctor?
16
00:00:34,449 --> 00:00:36,283
What am I saying?
I forgot where I am.
17
00:00:36,285 --> 00:00:39,235
Has anyone here ever seen Scrubs?
18
00:00:39,237 --> 00:00:41,404
What do you do when a girl is choking?
19
00:00:41,706 --> 00:00:45,208
I just back up a few inches.
20
00:00:46,210 --> 00:00:47,494
What do we do?
21
00:00:47,496 --> 00:00:49,713
What do we do?
This woman is choking!
22
00:00:56,804 --> 00:00:58,555
Thank you so much.
23
00:00:58,557 --> 00:01:00,256
You're welcome.
And feel free to tip me
24
00:01:00,258 --> 00:01:03,010
what you think your life's worth.
25
00:01:04,012 --> 00:01:06,647
I feel 3 bucks coming my way.
26
00:01:15,256 --> 00:01:18,633
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
27
00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:20,435
Here you go, guys.
I'm the only waitress.
28
00:01:20,737 --> 00:01:22,257
Sorry you waited longer for the burger
29
00:01:22,258 --> 00:01:25,706
than you did for that
Cosby sweater to come back.
30
00:01:28,142 --> 00:01:31,144
Max, look at my face.
I'm very upset.
31
00:01:31,146 --> 00:01:32,879
Oh.
32
00:01:32,881 --> 00:01:35,984
Is that what that means? I just
assumed you were constipated.
33
00:01:37,486 --> 00:01:39,186
Caroline is late again.
34
00:01:39,188 --> 00:01:41,037
And she better not use
your new cupcake shop
35
00:01:41,039 --> 00:01:42,622
as an excuse this time,
36
00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:46,126
'cause sister,
that crap ain't gonna fly.
37
00:01:46,128 --> 00:01:47,218
First of all,
38
00:01:47,219 --> 00:01:49,179
stop talking like you're
in a Tyler Perry movie.
39
00:01:49,181 --> 00:01:50,764
And secondly,
40
00:01:50,766 --> 00:01:53,517
Caroline's here;
She's in the kitchen.
41
00:01:53,519 --> 00:01:55,435
Oh, really?
'Cause when I was in there,
42
00:01:55,437 --> 00:01:56,887
you told me she was out here.
43
00:01:56,889 --> 00:01:59,506
You play me, fool.
44
00:01:59,508 --> 00:02:01,608
Stop talking like you're
in a Tyler Perry sequel.
45
00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:02,642
And secondly...
46
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,478
I'll ask Earl.
Earl...
47
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,231
Oop!
48
00:02:08,233 --> 00:02:10,066
What happened?
Why did you scream?
49
00:02:10,068 --> 00:02:14,654
I accidentally sat on one of my boys!
50
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,490
Have you seen Caroline tonight?
51
00:02:16,492 --> 00:02:18,024
Of course I have, man.
52
00:02:18,026 --> 00:02:20,210
I just saw her go down the hall
to the ladies room.
53
00:02:20,212 --> 00:02:21,828
There. Happy?
54
00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:25,799
You've solved e big mystery,
Shortlock Holmes.
55
00:02:25,801 --> 00:02:29,736
Wait, she didn't pick up any of her...
56
00:02:29,738 --> 00:02:31,505
Caroline?
57
00:02:31,507 --> 00:02:33,273
Can't talk now, Han.
58
00:02:33,275 --> 00:02:35,075
And how many more times
do I have to ask you
59
00:02:35,076 --> 00:02:36,610
to fix this damn pie carousel?
60
00:02:36,612 --> 00:02:38,252
I mean, the temp
just isn't cool enough,
61
00:02:38,253 --> 00:02:39,773
and those tapiocas are gonna turn bad.
62
00:02:39,774 --> 00:02:41,848
If you do want a lawsuit,
just keep ignoring me.
63
00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:43,170
Max, can I see you in the kitchen
64
00:02:43,171 --> 00:02:44,651
where I was just a couple minutes ago
65
00:02:44,652 --> 00:02:47,254
after I got out of the ladies room?
66
00:02:47,256 --> 00:02:49,739
Yeah, get on that temperature thing.
67
00:02:49,741 --> 00:02:51,274
There's so much mold growing in there
68
00:02:51,276 --> 00:02:54,077
that cherry pie's
gonna need a pap smear.
69
00:02:56,163 --> 00:02:58,398
That was some ballsy,
bold, in-your-face
70
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,083
awesome lying.
71
00:03:00,085 --> 00:03:03,286
I learned it by watching you, Dad.
72
00:03:03,288 --> 00:03:04,304
Had to lie.
73
00:03:04,306 --> 00:03:06,014
We need every minute
74
00:03:06,015 --> 00:03:08,375
we can steal away from here
to get the cupcake shop ready.
75
00:03:08,377 --> 00:03:10,217
We still have to do
the second coat of paint,
76
00:03:10,218 --> 00:03:12,596
figure out tables and chairs...
77
00:03:12,598 --> 00:03:14,764
What?
Didn't have time for lunch.
78
00:03:14,766 --> 00:03:16,249
Oh, I don't care.
79
00:03:16,251 --> 00:03:17,651
I'm surprised you're using a spoon.
80
00:03:17,652 --> 00:03:19,087
I just stick my face in it.
81
00:03:21,289 --> 00:03:23,857
So, my brilliant idea
of how we get this all done
82
00:03:23,859 --> 00:03:25,942
is we should get an intern to help.
83
00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:27,894
What? No.
84
00:03:27,896 --> 00:03:29,646
I can't be a person that has an intern.
85
00:03:29,648 --> 00:03:32,866
I can barely be a person
that doesn't have an intern.
86
00:03:33,268 --> 00:03:35,435
Max, all businesses use interns.
87
00:03:35,437 --> 00:03:38,271
We just have to post an ad
online at NYU or Columbia,
88
00:03:38,273 --> 00:03:40,290
and we'll have
20 applicants battling it out
89
00:03:40,292 --> 00:03:41,791
to do our grunt work for credit.
90
00:03:41,793 --> 00:03:42,709
You make it sound like
91
00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:45,297
The Hunger Games:
College Edition.
92
00:03:47,299 --> 00:03:49,883
Sorry, I'm against getting
people to work for free.
93
00:03:49,885 --> 00:03:51,084
I'm with you, Max.
94
00:03:51,086 --> 00:03:54,804
My people were interns for 436 years.
95
00:03:56,891 --> 00:03:59,843
I am just getting used to the
idea of having my own business
96
00:03:59,845 --> 00:04:01,628
and now you want me
to be someone's boss?
97
00:04:01,630 --> 00:04:03,263
I am not the boss.
98
00:04:03,265 --> 00:04:06,433
I'm the person who talks
behind the boss's back.
99
00:04:06,435 --> 00:04:08,184
Pick up.
100
00:04:08,186 --> 00:04:09,469
Thanks.
Isn't Han a tool?
101
00:04:09,471 --> 00:04:13,139
- Total tool.
- Yeah, a tiny tool.
102
00:04:13,141 --> 00:04:15,809
Like the kind you fix
your eyeglasses with.
103
00:04:18,311 --> 00:04:19,496
See?
104
00:04:19,498 --> 00:04:21,698
That's my wheelhouse.
105
00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:23,780
Look, I don't want to ask
someone to work for free.
106
00:04:23,781 --> 00:04:24,861
We can do it all ourselves.
107
00:04:24,862 --> 00:04:26,819
You want to do it
all yourself? Great.
108
00:04:26,821 --> 00:04:29,122
I'll write everything
you need to do on a to-do list.
109
00:04:29,124 --> 00:04:30,874
Why don't you to-do that?
110
00:04:30,876 --> 00:04:33,627
And I will to-tear it up.
111
00:04:33,629 --> 00:04:35,378
What're we tearing up?
112
00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,500
'Cause if it's that ass,
I already got that covered.
113
00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:39,966
Hi, Andy.
That's so sweet and dirty.
114
00:04:39,968 --> 00:04:43,637
Easy, easy. What are you,
shipping off to war?
115
00:04:44,639 --> 00:04:47,507
Here. Take this giant bag of
skittles and look the other way.
116
00:04:47,509 --> 00:04:49,175
I'm not that easy.
117
00:04:49,177 --> 00:04:51,061
New mystery flavors?
118
00:04:52,363 --> 00:04:54,123
We getting together
after you get off work?
119
00:04:54,124 --> 00:04:55,313
It'll be really late.
120
00:04:55,314 --> 00:04:57,194
Max and I still have to go
to the cupcake shop
121
00:04:57,195 --> 00:04:59,555
and tape up the windows so we
can start the trim tomorrow.
122
00:04:59,556 --> 00:05:00,996
Okay, I'm not very good at painting,
123
00:05:00,997 --> 00:05:03,373
but I can do this while you paint.
124
00:05:03,375 --> 00:05:04,724
Yeah.
125
00:05:04,726 --> 00:05:06,526
Yeah, roll that paint on that wall.
126
00:05:06,528 --> 00:05:08,128
Oh...
127
00:05:11,466 --> 00:05:15,602
You are so freaking cute.
128
00:05:15,604 --> 00:05:18,005
White people.
129
00:05:19,707 --> 00:05:21,508
Look, why don't you guys
just get an intern?
130
00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:23,150
That's what I did
when I opened my shop.
131
00:05:23,151 --> 00:05:25,178
You two are like evil warlords
132
00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:28,431
mining the souls of innocent zombies.
133
00:05:28,433 --> 00:05:30,233
Oh, and keep your eyes peeled
at your store.
134
00:05:30,234 --> 00:05:32,114
The janitor told me
he saw some rat droppings.
135
00:05:32,115 --> 00:05:34,788
But all you gotta do
is set up some traps.
136
00:05:34,790 --> 00:05:37,490
Oh, gross.
Who's gonna do that?
137
00:05:37,992 --> 00:05:40,677
The intern?
138
00:05:42,596 --> 00:05:45,615
So, Ruth, you are a sophomore at NYU,
139
00:05:45,617 --> 00:05:47,400
majoring in finance?
You know you're not
140
00:05:47,402 --> 00:05:49,285
gonna get paid.
No money at all.
141
00:05:49,287 --> 00:05:53,573
Yup, it's in internship.
I mean, it's all good, right?
142
00:05:53,575 --> 00:05:57,076
It's all good until you need money.
143
00:05:57,078 --> 00:05:59,295
Well, we're a startup company,
144
00:05:59,297 --> 00:06:01,464
and we're launching
our very first retail store,
145
00:06:01,466 --> 00:06:04,083
so there's a lot of details
that you'll be responsible for.
146
00:06:04,085 --> 00:06:05,852
There's a lot of carrying things,
147
00:06:05,854 --> 00:06:08,388
maybe some trapping things.
148
00:06:08,390 --> 00:06:10,440
Oh, it's cool.
I have a car.
149
00:06:10,442 --> 00:06:13,560
You have a car
and you want to be an intern?
150
00:06:13,562 --> 00:06:14,944
How 'bout if we switch places?
151
00:06:14,946 --> 00:06:16,226
I'll be the intern with the car,
152
00:06:16,227 --> 00:06:17,907
and you can sit
on a broken folding chair
153
00:06:17,908 --> 00:06:19,282
next to Donna Trump over here.
154
00:06:19,284 --> 00:06:21,986
Well, Max and I need to have
a little meeting right now,
155
00:06:21,987 --> 00:06:23,787
so if you could go
over to the waiting room,
156
00:06:23,789 --> 00:06:25,121
that'd be great.
Okay, Ruth?
157
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:26,790
I just wanna say
158
00:06:26,792 --> 00:06:30,960
I know my name is weird,
but like it's too late, right?
159
00:06:30,962 --> 00:06:33,713
Max, why are you trying to convince her
160
00:06:33,715 --> 00:06:34,998
to not be our intern?
161
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,750
Why are you not saying,
162
00:06:36,752 --> 00:06:40,503
"You may get rabies and
bubonic plague from our rats?"
163
00:06:42,306 --> 00:06:43,890
Don't mention the rats.
164
00:06:43,892 --> 00:06:46,459
You're chasing them away.
And we do not have rats.
165
00:06:46,461 --> 00:06:49,562
We have rat droppings.
Let's not jump to conclusions.
166
00:06:49,564 --> 00:06:51,397
You're right, the rats are probably
167
00:06:51,399 --> 00:06:53,983
just coming in here
to use the bathroom.
168
00:06:53,985 --> 00:06:58,304
Look, we need an intern.
Now, who do you like so far?
169
00:06:58,306 --> 00:06:59,972
The one with the big boobs.
170
00:06:59,974 --> 00:07:03,827
I knew it. All you big boob
people stick together.
171
00:07:03,829 --> 00:07:06,613
Hi, girls.
172
00:07:06,615 --> 00:07:08,481
Are you having a beauty contest
173
00:07:08,483 --> 00:07:11,868
and didn't invite me to give
the other girls a chance?
174
00:07:11,870 --> 00:07:14,120
We're interviewing people
to be our intern.
175
00:07:14,122 --> 00:07:16,122
Who doesn't get paid.
176
00:07:16,124 --> 00:07:18,424
Well, this is for you.
177
00:07:19,126 --> 00:07:20,677
You didn't have to do that.
178
00:07:20,679 --> 00:07:22,495
You already gave us
the money for the shop.
179
00:07:22,497 --> 00:07:24,881
I know, I'm too wonderful.
180
00:07:24,883 --> 00:07:26,266
But it's for good luck,
181
00:07:26,268 --> 00:07:28,051
and sounds like you're gonna need it.
182
00:07:28,053 --> 00:07:31,504
Oleg says that it's
rat central station around here.
183
00:07:32,006 --> 00:07:34,891
Not rats, Sophie, just rat droppings.
184
00:07:34,893 --> 00:07:37,026
Oh, just rat droppings.
185
00:07:37,028 --> 00:07:40,947
Oh, okay, no problem there.
186
00:07:42,783 --> 00:07:44,183
Are you out of breath
187
00:07:44,185 --> 00:07:47,954
because you jogged here
all the way from 1974?
188
00:07:47,956 --> 00:07:49,789
Sexy,
189
00:07:49,791 --> 00:07:53,960
You should see
his badunkadunk when he jogs.
190
00:07:53,962 --> 00:07:56,830
Well, here they are.
60 rat traps.
191
00:08:00,134 --> 00:08:01,718
Girls...
192
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,087
I don't want to interfere
with your business,
193
00:08:04,089 --> 00:08:07,557
but what the hell is goin' on here?
194
00:08:07,559 --> 00:08:10,393
There's no fancy tables
or pretty chairs.
195
00:08:10,395 --> 00:08:12,846
I mean, this place is so unappealing,
196
00:08:12,848 --> 00:08:16,933
even I don't look good here.
197
00:08:20,894 --> 00:08:21,888
No worries.
198
00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:24,407
We have some adorable old-school
ice cream tables and chairs
199
00:08:24,409 --> 00:08:27,660
on hold at a kooky,
fun Staten Island junkyard.
200
00:08:29,497 --> 00:08:31,537
I can't believe you didn't
just shoot a blood clot
201
00:08:31,538 --> 00:08:34,000
trying to make
dump furniture sound cute.
202
00:08:34,502 --> 00:08:38,171
Okay, girls, well, call me
when you have a real business.
203
00:08:38,173 --> 00:08:40,123
Yeah, and I'm...
I'm gonna take this,
204
00:08:40,125 --> 00:08:42,091
you know, so that the rats
don't poop in it.
205
00:08:42,093 --> 00:08:43,945
Come on, badunkadunk.
206
00:08:45,947 --> 00:08:47,881
Oh, and, Max...
207
00:08:47,883 --> 00:08:50,683
Oh, she's good. Yes.
208
00:08:50,685 --> 00:08:54,854
I knew it. All you big boob
people stick together.
209
00:08:58,525 --> 00:09:00,360
Well?
210
00:09:01,862 --> 00:09:03,162
Here we are.
211
00:09:03,164 --> 00:09:05,031
The final three.
212
00:09:09,370 --> 00:09:11,704
Well, you know the one I like.
I'll give you a clue.
213
00:09:11,706 --> 00:09:14,040
One, two.
214
00:09:14,042 --> 00:09:16,876
Standing in front of me
I see two beautiful,
215
00:09:16,878 --> 00:09:18,661
qualified young women.
216
00:09:19,163 --> 00:09:21,464
Is she really
going all Top Model right now?
217
00:09:21,466 --> 00:09:24,634
If only. They pay.
218
00:09:24,636 --> 00:09:26,554
I'm out, Tyra.
219
00:09:28,556 --> 00:09:30,456
Ruth, congratulations.
220
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:31,978
You've been selected to be our intern.
221
00:09:31,979 --> 00:09:34,645
Max, will you get Ruth
started on something?
222
00:09:35,647 --> 00:09:37,647
Yup, I got the internship.
223
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:40,166
You know what?
I got it.
224
00:09:40,168 --> 00:09:42,769
It's not like you're getting paid.
225
00:09:43,471 --> 00:09:46,106
Big boob people are so much easier.
226
00:10:00,624 --> 00:10:01,758
As a kid, people told you
227
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,927
everything you did was amazing,
didn't they?
228
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:06,929
I was given a lot
of positive reinforcement.
229
00:10:06,931 --> 00:10:08,481
I think it gave me the confidence
230
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,316
that's gotten me
through this last year.
231
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,919
Well, it's time you heard the truth.
232
00:10:12,921 --> 00:10:14,287
You stink at stuff.
233
00:10:14,289 --> 00:10:16,439
Like painting.
234
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:18,941
Fine.
And you stink at stuff too.
235
00:10:18,943 --> 00:10:21,194
Like telling an intern what to do.
236
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:23,062
Ruth had to go to that concert.
237
00:10:23,064 --> 00:10:25,031
She had the tickets for weeks.
238
00:10:25,033 --> 00:10:28,100
It was Ashley D and Ashley B's
joint birthday. Duh.
239
00:10:28,102 --> 00:10:29,986
And so the intern's out having fun,
240
00:10:29,988 --> 00:10:34,657
and here we are, the bosses,
painting the walls at 3:00 a.m.
241
00:10:34,659 --> 00:10:35,958
Well, I'm painting.
242
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,294
You got a kind of
autistic ballerina thing
243
00:10:38,296 --> 00:10:40,713
going on over there.
244
00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:42,114
Can I ask you something?
245
00:10:42,116 --> 00:10:44,000
I don't like Maroon 5.
246
00:10:44,002 --> 00:10:45,451
No matter how many times you ask,
247
00:10:45,453 --> 00:10:47,336
the answer will always be no.
248
00:10:47,338 --> 00:10:49,055
Not that.
249
00:10:49,057 --> 00:10:51,337
Would it be okay if I told Andy
not to come over tonight
250
00:10:51,338 --> 00:10:52,650
'cause I'm so exhausted,
251
00:10:52,651 --> 00:10:55,011
or is it a little too early
in the relationship to be all,
252
00:10:55,013 --> 00:10:58,297
"I don't think I can have my
legs up around my ears tonight"?
253
00:10:58,299 --> 00:10:59,300
It's fine.
254
00:10:59,301 --> 00:11:01,133
You don't think he'd enjoy a night off
255
00:11:01,135 --> 00:11:03,936
from constant Maroon 5
badgering? He would.
256
00:11:05,438 --> 00:11:06,605
Feels awkward. Can't.
257
00:11:06,607 --> 00:11:08,857
My legs can go up there.
They're fine.
258
00:11:08,859 --> 00:11:11,410
I don't want to have that
conversation right now.
259
00:11:11,412 --> 00:11:12,945
Hey, look, I get it.
260
00:11:12,947 --> 00:11:14,867
There are conversations
you don't want to have.
261
00:11:14,868 --> 00:11:18,368
Like, "hey, Ruth, here's $0.
Put down some rat traps."
262
00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:20,587
We have a box right here
that's not touched.
263
00:11:20,589 --> 00:11:22,869
Look, we're not talking
about your relationship anymore.
264
00:11:22,870 --> 00:11:24,591
We're done.
265
00:11:24,593 --> 00:11:27,210
Relax. It's probably not even
a rat, it's probably a mouse.
266
00:11:27,212 --> 00:11:30,129
Not a big deal.
267
00:11:30,131 --> 00:11:33,049
Oh, my God! Oh, my God,
I see it! There it is!
268
00:11:33,051 --> 00:11:35,251
- The mouse?
- That is not a mouse!
269
00:11:35,253 --> 00:11:37,637
That is a car that a mouse drives!
270
00:11:37,639 --> 00:11:40,189
Where did you see it?
It was in the middle, right?
271
00:11:40,191 --> 00:11:42,392
- Why are you whispering?
272
00:11:42,394 --> 00:11:43,926
I don't want him to hear me.
273
00:11:43,928 --> 00:11:45,111
How do you know it's a he?
274
00:11:45,113 --> 00:11:47,947
He looked at me kind of rapey.
275
00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:50,129
There!
He just ran behind the thing!
276
00:11:50,130 --> 00:11:51,484
- What thing?
- That thing!
277
00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:53,736
This thing? Waah!
278
00:11:53,738 --> 00:11:55,038
What? Did you see it?
279
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,706
I don't think so.
280
00:11:56,708 --> 00:11:58,148
Oh, you'd know so.
It has a saddle.
281
00:12:01,295 --> 00:12:04,280
Oh, my God.
282
00:12:04,282 --> 00:12:08,167
He just opened the door with
the strength of his whiskers.
283
00:12:10,471 --> 00:12:12,221
He's gone.
He went into the kitchen.
284
00:12:12,223 --> 00:12:13,256
Oh, what should we do?
285
00:12:13,258 --> 00:12:14,791
Should we call the cops?
286
00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:17,260
He doesn't have a gun.
287
00:12:17,262 --> 00:12:18,761
Let's just get out of here.
288
00:12:18,763 --> 00:12:20,680
We'll call an exterminator
in the morning.
289
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:24,117
Too late, he's coming back!
290
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,736
He's charging us!
He's gonna bite me!
291
00:12:34,978 --> 00:12:37,080
Waah!
You can stop now!
292
00:12:37,082 --> 00:12:40,833
You painted him to death.
293
00:12:46,590 --> 00:12:49,876
I just got a glimpse of you
at a Barneys sample sale.
294
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:53,029
What a mess.
Who's gonna clean that up?
295
00:12:53,931 --> 00:12:56,966
The intern?
296
00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:01,670
Oh, Andy...
297
00:13:01,672 --> 00:13:04,340
I know.
I'm good at this.
298
00:13:07,178 --> 00:13:09,228
What?
Is there another rat?
299
00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:11,947
What are you doing?
300
00:13:11,949 --> 00:13:14,066
I forgot Andy was here!
301
00:13:14,068 --> 00:13:18,270
And your sex voice is the same
as your murder voice.
302
00:13:18,272 --> 00:13:21,157
So are you just gonna stand there?
303
00:13:21,159 --> 00:13:25,661
Are you offering me
a three-way?
304
00:13:28,199 --> 00:13:32,151
Well, it looks like we're
about to be a full-blown orgy.
305
00:13:32,153 --> 00:13:34,653
It's 2:00 a.m.
Who could this be?
306
00:13:34,655 --> 00:13:35,788
It's Ruth.
307
00:13:35,790 --> 00:13:38,858
- Ruth?
- Yes. I'm late, right?
308
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:40,710
Why is she here?
309
00:13:40,712 --> 00:13:43,713
I texted her and said
you needed an enema.
310
00:13:43,715 --> 00:13:46,799
Okay, now, this is some
industrial-strength girl talk.
311
00:13:46,801 --> 00:13:49,268
I had to do something
to show her who was boss.
312
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:51,270
I learned it while interning
at Condé Nast.
313
00:13:51,272 --> 00:13:52,736
We've all gotten someone an enema
314
00:13:52,737 --> 00:13:54,857
in the middle of the night,
it's a right of passage.
315
00:13:54,859 --> 00:13:57,393
For someone to get their passage right?
316
00:13:57,895 --> 00:13:59,061
Beat me to it.
317
00:14:01,198 --> 00:14:04,150
There. Go open the door.
You know what has to happen.
318
00:14:05,285 --> 00:14:06,936
Max has to put Ruth in her place
319
00:14:06,938 --> 00:14:09,205
so she can learn how to be a boss.
320
00:14:09,207 --> 00:14:10,823
Oh. That's all? Good.
321
00:14:10,825 --> 00:14:12,124
'Cause I thought from your tone
322
00:14:12,126 --> 00:14:13,993
you were gonna force Max
to have an enema.
323
00:14:14,695 --> 00:14:15,828
Sorry I'm late.
324
00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:19,999
I had the tiniest pot cookie and
had to pull over to take a nap.
325
00:14:21,051 --> 00:14:24,303
Anyway, here is your enema.
Enjoy.
326
00:14:24,305 --> 00:14:26,121
They only had the triple pack.
327
00:14:26,123 --> 00:14:27,523
Wait, Ruth?
328
00:14:27,525 --> 00:14:29,291
Max has something
she wants to say to you.
329
00:14:29,293 --> 00:14:31,143
Max, what did you want to say to Ruth?
330
00:14:31,145 --> 00:14:35,014
Thanks for the triple?
331
00:14:35,016 --> 00:14:37,018
Three times the fun.
332
00:14:43,324 --> 00:14:45,324
You sure you don't want me
to help you with that?
333
00:14:45,325 --> 00:14:46,045
Oh, no, it's okay.
334
00:14:46,046 --> 00:14:48,444
You took the rat traps out
of the box, you need a break.
335
00:14:48,446 --> 00:14:49,745
Plus, we couldn't afford
336
00:14:49,747 --> 00:14:51,414
the game Mouse Trap when I was a kid,
337
00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:53,749
and this is the closest I'm gonna get.
338
00:14:53,751 --> 00:14:56,035
So, when do you make the cupcakes?
339
00:14:57,839 --> 00:14:59,755
I guess I could make them now.
340
00:14:59,757 --> 00:15:01,340
Fun.
I'll go get the coffees, right?
341
00:15:01,342 --> 00:15:03,009
Sure, of course.
Do whatever.
342
00:15:03,011 --> 00:15:05,879
You got a life.
Who am I to tell you what to do?
343
00:15:06,881 --> 00:15:09,098
Well, here's our Martha Stewart blurb,
344
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:12,601
all blown up and ready to roll
out and paste up on that wall.
345
00:15:12,603 --> 00:15:14,971
- Where's Ruth?
- She's in the kitchen.
346
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:17,723
- I was just in there.
- Then she's in the bathroom.
347
00:15:17,725 --> 00:15:20,843
Oh, my God, you're Haning me!
348
00:15:20,845 --> 00:15:23,178
She took a coffee break.
349
00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:26,315
What? She didn't need a break.
She just started 20 minutes ago.
350
00:15:26,317 --> 00:15:28,367
Your rich
is really coming out,
351
00:15:28,369 --> 00:15:30,536
and it is not pretty.
352
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,154
Forgot my phone.
353
00:15:32,156 --> 00:15:34,890
I mean, get it together, Ruth, right?
354
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,542
Watch and learn.
355
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:39,462
Ruth, can you put the rat traps
down, one in each corner,
356
00:15:39,464 --> 00:15:42,248
and then you can get coffee
later after interning.
357
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,532
Thanks.
358
00:15:43,934 --> 00:15:46,669
She's kind of a tool, right?
359
00:15:49,856 --> 00:15:51,557
Max, were you saying something?
360
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:52,508
Nope.
361
00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:53,976
Ouch!
362
00:15:53,978 --> 00:15:56,512
Right?
363
00:16:04,814 --> 00:16:06,564
Oh, look at this cage.
364
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:09,851
I think my mom used to dance in it.
365
00:16:11,253 --> 00:16:12,103
Here they are.
366
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,989
These are the ones
I had the guy hold for us.
367
00:16:13,991 --> 00:16:17,141
Only $600 for all of them.
What do ya think, Daddy?
368
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:20,945
I like 'em, doll.
Wrap 'em up.
369
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:23,114
And can Daddy get something he wants?
370
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,333
So cute.
Over the counter?
371
00:16:25,335 --> 00:16:27,669
And that way when I'm
hungover and taking a nap,
372
00:16:27,671 --> 00:16:29,421
people can still find the cupcakes.
373
00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:31,506
We could have Ruth clean it
374
00:16:31,508 --> 00:16:33,008
and then paint and reupholster these.
375
00:16:33,010 --> 00:16:34,342
By the way, where is she?
376
00:16:34,344 --> 00:16:36,327
She was supposed to
be here an hour ago.
377
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,329
Text her and find out where she is.
378
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:41,016
Why are you so interested in
where she is, what she's doing?
379
00:16:41,018 --> 00:16:42,701
Are you obsessed with her?
380
00:16:42,703 --> 00:16:45,403
Max, I don't want to make
a purse out of her skin.
381
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,138
I just want her to do her job.
382
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,441
Never mind.
I'll just text her.
383
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:50,975
Well, be careful.
384
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,111
Don't delete any
of my penis with a hat pictures.
385
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,679
Even if I did, it's not a big deal.
386
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,981
Oleg will always pose again.
387
00:16:56,983 --> 00:17:00,652
Yeah, but I'll never get
that little pilgrim hat back.
388
00:17:00,654 --> 00:17:04,205
"Where are you?
We needed you here yesterday."
389
00:17:04,207 --> 00:17:06,458
All in caps,
'cause bosses talk in caps.
390
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:09,544
Total tool.
391
00:17:09,546 --> 00:17:11,212
Look at that.
392
00:17:11,214 --> 00:17:13,631
Texted right back, 'cause I'm the boss.
393
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,300
She says...
394
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:17,752
Yesterday was super hard
so she's not feeling great
395
00:17:17,754 --> 00:17:19,704
and she can't come in today?
396
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,473
That's it. She's fired.
397
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:23,007
Here.
You have to fire her.
398
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:26,444
She said she was sick, Condé Nasty.
399
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:29,147
She's not sick,
she's just taking advantage
400
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,598
'cause you're too friendly with her.
401
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,233
She works for us.
402
00:17:32,235 --> 00:17:34,218
Yeah, for free.
403
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,603
Why don't you just hollow her out
404
00:17:35,605 --> 00:17:38,239
and live inside of her, you monster?
405
00:17:40,911 --> 00:17:44,913
I don't think
we were supposed to get this.
406
00:17:44,915 --> 00:17:47,499
"The dumb one wants me to pick
up all this crappy furniture.
407
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:49,868
"Right? As if.
408
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:52,787
I'll be at the bar in ten.
Order me a Bellini."
409
00:17:52,789 --> 00:17:54,506
Oh, who's the monster now?
410
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,257
She just called you the dumb one.
411
00:17:56,259 --> 00:17:59,094
She called you the dumb one.
412
00:17:59,096 --> 00:18:01,463
It's your phone, you're the dumb one.
413
00:18:01,465 --> 00:18:03,681
She knows I don't talk
in caps, so that's to you.
414
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,016
You're the dumb one.
415
00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:06,351
- Fire her.
- No, you fire her.
416
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:07,585
No, you fire her.
417
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,354
No, you hired her, you fire her.
418
00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:11,473
I wanted to go with Molly big boobs.
419
00:18:11,475 --> 00:18:14,976
She'd be here right now
with four chairs on each boob.
420
00:18:14,978 --> 00:18:16,478
Why can't you just fire her?
421
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,229
It's clear she called you the dumb one.
422
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,615
All right, fine, I know
she called me the dumb one.
423
00:18:20,617 --> 00:18:23,935
But I can't fire her.
I want to, but there is a block.
424
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,620
Right here.
425
00:18:25,622 --> 00:18:28,406
It comes up, and then goes,
"nope!" It goes right back down.
426
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:31,292
I am not supposed to fire someone.
427
00:18:31,294 --> 00:18:34,445
I am the someone
who's supposed to be fired.
428
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,548
So I guess I'm the boss, then.
429
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:39,050
Sounds like a plan.
I'll be in my mom's cage.
430
00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:43,421
All right, come on, you lowly worker.
431
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,456
Help the boss pull these chairs out.
432
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,026
Don't yell at me, boss.
I'm blocked.
433
00:18:48,028 --> 00:18:50,311
Wish you had your enemas now,
don't you?
434
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:57,735
They followed us!
We walked into a trap!
435
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,187
It's a vendetta!
436
00:18:59,189 --> 00:19:00,638
I can't believe this!
437
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,960
Our intern's out having cocktails
438
00:19:01,961 --> 00:19:03,521
and I'm trapped on top of rat mountain!
439
00:19:03,522 --> 00:19:05,810
He's coming after me!
440
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,914
Oh, my God!
441
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:12,417
Max! Help!
442
00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:15,152
No, you bastards!
Get off her!
443
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,373
Get off!
444
00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:20,508
My foot's caught under this thing!
445
00:19:28,051 --> 00:19:30,334
Max, that was amazing.
446
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:33,271
You just lifted that
giant thing up with one hand.
447
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,556
I know.
448
00:19:34,558 --> 00:19:37,810
And now I'm gonna fire that bitch!
449
00:19:42,031 --> 00:19:45,567
You suck at this too.
450
00:19:46,069 --> 00:19:47,002
Sorry I'm late.
451
00:19:47,004 --> 00:19:48,903
I was having a dream
that I was sleeping in,
452
00:19:48,905 --> 00:19:51,990
then I woke up, and I was.
453
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,528
Who's the boss?
454
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,163
Tony Danza?
455
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,666
No, Max, who's the boss?
456
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,885
I am.
457
00:20:04,387 --> 00:20:05,770
Have a seat, Ruth.
458
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,204
Here?
459
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,140
Good call.
460
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:12,260
In addition to being a boss,
461
00:20:12,262 --> 00:20:13,895
I am also a waitress.
462
00:20:13,897 --> 00:20:16,547
But when I do my job,
I don't call people dumb.
463
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,716
All right, I do, but at least
it's to their face.
464
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,768
Oh, you're talking about that thing?
465
00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:22,220
I meant Caroline.
466
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:23,721
No, I know you meant me,
467
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,357
because I'm not dumb
and neither is Caroline.
468
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,559
And one thing I figured out
is that in business,
469
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,394
maybe I have to be
a little more ruthless.
470
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,248
Meaning no more Ruth.
You're fired.
471
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:37,401
So, I'm not getting college credit?
472
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,504
I'll probably
get kicked out of school again,
473
00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:41,773
but no worries, right?
474
00:20:46,962 --> 00:20:49,246
I'm really proud of how
you stuck up for yourself.
475
00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:53,017
You're fired.
Sorry, I can't stop.
476
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:56,554
Look, Max.
477
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:59,141
We're on our way.
478
00:21:01,556 --> 00:21:06,141
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com