1
00:00:01,491 --> 00:00:03,474
Earl, time to play
"Marry, Sleep with, or Kill:
2
00:00:03,476 --> 00:00:04,993
Diner edition."
3
00:00:05,495 --> 00:00:07,311
Ladies, booth one?
4
00:00:07,313 --> 00:00:10,032
Sleep with, sleep with, slept with.
5
00:00:11,034 --> 00:00:11,983
Nice.
6
00:00:12,035 --> 00:00:14,669
Okay, Max, the dude at table ten.
7
00:00:14,671 --> 00:00:17,905
Is there a "Throw food
in the cage and run" category?
8
00:00:18,407 --> 00:00:19,340
Hey, jump in.
9
00:00:19,342 --> 00:00:20,982
We'playing "Marry,
Sleep with, or Kill:"
10
00:00:20,983 --> 00:00:22,376
Diner edition."
11
00:00:22,878 --> 00:00:24,929
No, if I slept with
anyone in this diner,
12
00:00:24,931 --> 00:00:27,715
I'd kill myself.
13
00:00:27,717 --> 00:00:29,050
Even in a fictional scenario,
14
00:00:29,052 --> 00:00:31,436
I cannot permit myself to go there.
15
00:00:31,438 --> 00:00:33,771
Girl, you'd take the fun
out of the punch bowl
16
00:00:33,773 --> 00:00:35,690
full of cocaine.
17
00:00:35,692 --> 00:00:37,692
Okay, fine.
18
00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:40,228
Sleep with Earl, marry you.
19
00:00:40,230 --> 00:00:41,896
Not us!
Jeez.
20
00:00:41,898 --> 00:00:43,597
What are you, a freak?
21
00:00:43,599 --> 00:00:47,151
I feel uncomfortable, Caroline.
22
00:00:47,153 --> 00:00:50,455
Like, I don't know
how to look at you anymore.
23
00:00:50,457 --> 00:00:53,941
Now, I can only see you
in a creepy lady tux.
24
00:00:53,943 --> 00:00:55,793
You said it was just a game!
25
00:00:55,795 --> 00:00:58,748
I'm not in love with you.
Back off!
26
00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:02,133
It was just a joke, Earl.
27
00:01:02,135 --> 00:01:04,085
The things we say in jest, darling.
28
00:01:04,087 --> 00:01:06,921
The things we say in jest.
29
00:01:06,923 --> 00:01:09,240
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
30
00:01:10,793 --> 00:01:14,679
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
31
00:01:16,074 --> 00:01:21,074
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:01:22,741 --> 00:01:25,742
Oh, my God, look at the RSVP
list for our opening party.
33
00:01:25,744 --> 00:01:27,911
Max's Homemade Cupcakes is at capacity.
34
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,533
Hey, we might even be overbooked,
35
00:01:29,534 --> 00:01:31,174
because in my experience,
even when guys
36
00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:33,266
say they're not going to come, they do.
37
00:01:36,204 --> 00:01:37,904
Caroline, booth two has been waiting
38
00:01:37,906 --> 00:01:39,473
for service for ten minutes!
39
00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:41,341
And Han knows how frustrating that is,
40
00:01:41,343 --> 00:01:44,395
'cause he's been waiting
to be serviced for years.
41
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,397
Not that it's any
of your business, Max,
42
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:50,018
but I have a very active sex life.
43
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:55,322
So then, Han, will you be
bringing a date tomorrow night?
44
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,692
Ah, no.
45
00:01:58,694 --> 00:02:03,163
You do understand that sex
involves two people, right?
46
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:07,417
And that one of those people
has to be you?
47
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:08,752
What is all this dirty talk?
48
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:11,922
This is a diner,
not a dirty talking place.
49
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:14,344
Sorry, Han, I know
we still work here at night.
50
00:02:14,345 --> 00:02:15,625
I'll go right over to the booth.
51
00:02:15,627 --> 00:02:17,794
We were just talking
about our big opening party.
52
00:02:17,796 --> 00:02:21,164
All you ever talk
about is your big opening.
53
00:02:21,866 --> 00:02:24,301
Now who has the potty mouth?
54
00:02:29,056 --> 00:02:30,807
Max, I need your guest list names.
55
00:02:30,809 --> 00:02:32,859
Oh, okay, I'm still waiting
for them to confirm,
56
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,194
so just put me down for ten.
57
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:36,229
Okay, but I need their names asap.
58
00:02:36,231 --> 00:02:37,480
I'm running a tight door.
59
00:02:37,482 --> 00:02:38,802
I got a bouncer from a local club
60
00:02:38,803 --> 00:02:39,983
to donate his time.
61
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:43,436
I told him it
was a charity event for eczema.
62
00:02:43,438 --> 00:02:46,103
What? We'll make a big donation
when we're successful,
63
00:02:46,104 --> 00:02:47,624
but, for tomorrow, every now and then,
64
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,243
scratch a little?
65
00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:53,413
Hi, everybody!
I got great news.
66
00:02:53,415 --> 00:02:57,884
What? You finally found
the thing we lost in there?
67
00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:02,622
No. I knew we should've
tied a string on it.
68
00:03:02,624 --> 00:03:05,842
No, look.
I got a fax from Poland.
69
00:03:05,844 --> 00:03:08,461
My dream house is done!
Isn't it amazing?
70
00:03:08,463 --> 00:03:09,896
It is amazing.
71
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:13,149
I haven't seen a fax
in, like, five years.
72
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,068
Sophie, it's so pretty!
73
00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,830
Look at all this sweet
gingerbread woodwork
74
00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:17,570
on the porch.
75
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:18,855
Oh, I'm so excited.
76
00:03:18,857 --> 00:03:20,806
I'm going to be on Air Poland flight
77
00:03:20,808 --> 00:03:22,609
right after big party.
78
00:03:22,611 --> 00:03:25,662
You are going to Poland?
That's news.
79
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,113
And when were you going to tell me?
80
00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:29,115
Um, now, yeah.
81
00:03:29,117 --> 00:03:31,000
Um, I'm going to be gone for a month.
82
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,535
Oh, okay.
83
00:03:32,537 --> 00:03:34,087
It will be good to have some time away
84
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,539
from the old ball and chain.
85
00:03:36,541 --> 00:03:39,125
Yeah, he's not talking about me.
86
00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:41,879
We use a ball and chain
in our lovemaking.
87
00:03:42,881 --> 00:03:45,133
That's the thing I can't find.
88
00:03:48,036 --> 00:03:49,335
All right.
89
00:03:49,336 --> 00:03:51,020
Okay, yeah.
90
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,805
Well, buh-bye.
91
00:03:52,807 --> 00:03:56,476
I'll see you tomorrow night
at my big going away party!
92
00:03:56,478 --> 00:03:59,028
Sophie, the party's
for our cupcake business.
93
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:03,316
Oh, see, this is why
I don't like you so much.
94
00:04:07,187 --> 00:04:09,372
Guys, thanks again
for donating your time.
95
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,157
It's fundraisers like this
that will help
96
00:04:11,159 --> 00:04:13,494
put an end to undescended testicles.
97
00:04:15,696 --> 00:04:16,629
Hi!
98
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,364
I'd like to meet the owner
of this awesome
99
00:04:18,366 --> 00:04:19,999
and totally cool cupcake shop?
100
00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:22,302
Oh, nevermind!
That's me.
101
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,454
Max, you got a blow-out!
102
00:04:24,456 --> 00:04:25,989
Yeah, I'd figured I finally see
103
00:04:25,991 --> 00:04:28,510
what all the fuss
about getting blown is.
104
00:04:30,512 --> 00:04:33,229
Oh, hi, we're not
quite ready for guests yet.
105
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:36,566
Girl, I'm your doorman, Nevel.
106
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,408
Oh, I'm confused.
I thought my doorman was...
107
00:04:38,409 --> 00:04:40,853
Straight, white, and boring?
He was.
108
00:04:40,855 --> 00:04:42,655
Then, boring came down with the flu.
109
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:46,526
Now, you've got gay, black,
and definitely not boring.
110
00:04:46,528 --> 00:04:47,860
So what's the charity tonight?
111
00:04:47,862 --> 00:04:50,280
- Eczema.
- Undescended testicles.
112
00:04:50,282 --> 00:04:53,783
People with eczema
and undescended testicles.
113
00:04:53,785 --> 00:04:56,621
Lord, child.
That is a cross to bear.
114
00:04:58,623 --> 00:05:00,063
Get me the door list, and let's make
115
00:05:00,064 --> 00:05:03,042
those poor, itchy boys some money.
116
00:05:04,411 --> 00:05:06,179
Another fake charity?
117
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:09,582
You've got some balls,
even if they aren't descended.
118
00:05:09,584 --> 00:05:11,250
Max, we so lucked out.
119
00:05:11,252 --> 00:05:12,885
Nothing says "successful party"
120
00:05:12,887 --> 00:05:15,605
like a bitchy, gay doorman!
121
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,557
Give me your guest names.
I'll write them down.
122
00:05:17,559 --> 00:05:19,359
Okay, fine.
123
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:23,262
Put down Tommy, Dylan,
Robbie, Johnny...
124
00:05:23,264 --> 00:05:25,365
Robbie and Johnny?
125
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:28,234
Wait, Max, are these
all your ex-boyfriends?
126
00:05:28,236 --> 00:05:30,603
Perhaps.
127
00:05:30,605 --> 00:05:32,388
Max, the invited guests
128
00:05:32,390 --> 00:05:34,574
were all supposed
to be business contacts.
129
00:05:34,576 --> 00:05:36,576
See, this is why I didn't
tell you sooner.
130
00:05:36,578 --> 00:05:38,077
You're a control freak.
131
00:05:38,079 --> 00:05:41,113
And for the record,
these guys have all had contact
132
00:05:41,115 --> 00:05:43,449
with my business.
133
00:05:43,451 --> 00:05:45,385
You're using our launch party
134
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:47,119
to get back
at ex-boyfriends?
135
00:05:47,121 --> 00:05:48,954
Uh, yeah!
136
00:05:48,956 --> 00:05:50,506
That's what success is for,
137
00:05:50,508 --> 00:05:53,125
to say "suck it"
to people who dumped you.
138
00:05:53,127 --> 00:05:55,178
"See my blown-out hair?
Suck it!
139
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,230
"See my cool cupcake shop?
Suck it!
140
00:05:57,232 --> 00:06:01,601
See these in this blouse?
You wish you could suck it."
141
00:06:03,303 --> 00:06:06,272
And here, it is not just
boyfriends on my list.
142
00:06:06,274 --> 00:06:08,474
I also invited the lady from Staples
143
00:06:08,476 --> 00:06:09,909
who gives me attitude.
144
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,729
She can suck it too.
145
00:06:12,731 --> 00:06:14,647
Fine, but how is inviting Johnny
146
00:06:14,649 --> 00:06:16,449
and his new wife a victory?
147
00:06:16,451 --> 00:06:17,750
Oh, like this.
148
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,786
"Hi, Mrs. Johnny.
Nice to meet you."
149
00:06:19,788 --> 00:06:21,287
You got him, but I got these
150
00:06:21,289 --> 00:06:24,824
"And all this,
so suck it."
151
00:06:24,826 --> 00:06:26,426
I'm not so sure this is healthy.
152
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:28,044
Are you kidding me?
153
00:06:28,046 --> 00:06:31,547
This is the healthiest thing
I've done in my life.
154
00:06:31,549 --> 00:06:33,109
I even thought about inviting my mother
155
00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:34,870
to come and suck it,
but then she'd realize
156
00:06:34,871 --> 00:06:36,686
maybe I didn't commit suicide
two years ago
157
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:39,389
like my note said.
158
00:06:39,391 --> 00:06:41,024
I'm about ready to open.
159
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,226
Shouldn't we be putting up
some testicle banners,
160
00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:46,279
or scrotum posters, or something?
161
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,815
Also, there's a cute blonde boy
out here asking for you
162
00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:50,149
that I'm about to eat alive.
163
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,453
That's Andy with the free bar stuff.
164
00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:54,737
Go, I'm gonna stay here
165
00:06:54,739 --> 00:06:56,689
and practice my "suck it" face
for a while.
166
00:06:56,691 --> 00:06:58,991
How's this?
167
00:06:58,993 --> 00:07:01,244
That look is so much more "suck it"
168
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:02,245
with the straight hair.
169
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:03,915
I know, right?
170
00:07:05,917 --> 00:07:07,817
- There's my cute boyfriend.
- Hey.
171
00:07:07,819 --> 00:07:09,459
How did everything go
at Spike's Liquor?
172
00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:10,780
Well, I got a little bit confused
173
00:07:10,781 --> 00:07:12,581
about what charity
we're pretending to help,
174
00:07:12,582 --> 00:07:14,340
so I told them my sister's homeless
175
00:07:14,342 --> 00:07:17,042
and my balls are up inside me.
176
00:07:17,044 --> 00:07:19,164
Now, we just gotta hope
Spike's not the chatty type.
177
00:07:21,215 --> 00:07:22,398
Oh! They just dropped.
178
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,069
Hey, Andy, question.
179
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:28,821
What does this face say to you?
180
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,023
I don't know,
like, "I'm cool."
181
00:07:31,025 --> 00:07:33,109
So close!
Guess again.
182
00:07:33,111 --> 00:07:34,911
Okay, like,
"I'm better than you."
183
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:37,613
No, like, "I'm it,
and you can suck it."
184
00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:40,252
Yes! Yes!
They can suck it!
185
00:07:42,454 --> 00:07:43,894
Is that what you're wearing tonight?
186
00:07:43,895 --> 00:07:45,755
Yeah.
No?
187
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:46,956
A sweater?
188
00:07:46,958 --> 00:07:48,674
I always saw you in a suit tonight.
189
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,196
Run home real quick and put on a suit.
190
00:07:50,197 --> 00:07:52,879
Hurry, people are starting to come.
191
00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:54,264
Uh, Max is still making the face.
192
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,849
I know.
I can't stop.
193
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,651
I've waited my whole life
to make this face.
194
00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:04,440
Max, look.
195
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,058
Our business is open.
196
00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:07,694
Wait, wait, wait.
Not quite.
197
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:12,865
In five, four, three, two.
198
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,067
Whoo!
199
00:08:16,870 --> 00:08:18,938
- Name, please?
- Sophie Kuchenski.
200
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:22,241
Guest of honor.
201
00:08:22,243 --> 00:08:25,611
- How many in your party?
- See, I knew it was my party!
202
00:08:35,388 --> 00:08:37,376
Max, there's a line
all the way down the hall
203
00:08:37,377 --> 00:08:39,457
and I've given out,
like, a hundred business cards!
204
00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:43,695
You know what that means?
Being poor can suck it!
205
00:08:43,995 --> 00:08:46,030
Girl, the Fire Marshal just dropped by,
206
00:08:46,032 --> 00:08:48,049
and told me
we can't let anymore people in
207
00:08:48,051 --> 00:08:49,767
till some of these folks go out.
208
00:08:49,769 --> 00:08:52,620
Nevel, none of my guests
are even here yet.
209
00:08:52,622 --> 00:08:54,488
It is very important to let in any guy
210
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,574
who looks hot, but you know
would screw you over.
211
00:08:56,576 --> 00:08:58,460
Is there any other type?
212
00:08:59,462 --> 00:09:01,630
I'll go get some more cupcakes.
213
00:09:02,632 --> 00:09:04,131
Hey!
How's it going so far, babe?
214
00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:05,333
Andy, what are you doing?
215
00:09:05,335 --> 00:09:06,867
I told you to come back in a suit.
216
00:09:06,869 --> 00:09:08,589
Yeah, I know,
but I like what I'm wearing.
217
00:09:09,055 --> 00:09:10,832
So you're telling me you'll just go
218
00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:12,473
and do what you want,
no matter how much
219
00:09:12,475 --> 00:09:13,707
I try to control you?
220
00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:15,893
Yeah.
221
00:09:15,895 --> 00:09:17,679
That is so freaking hot.
222
00:09:18,681 --> 00:09:20,232
Caroline!
223
00:09:21,234 --> 00:09:23,385
Caroline, I can't get in!
224
00:09:24,887 --> 00:09:27,774
Caroline! Less kissing,
more noticing me!
225
00:09:30,276 --> 00:09:32,443
See, I know her,
and my name's on the list.
226
00:09:32,445 --> 00:09:33,444
Han Lee.
227
00:09:33,446 --> 00:09:35,496
Honey, if I was a fat girl,
228
00:09:35,498 --> 00:09:36,781
and your name was Sara Lee,
229
00:09:36,783 --> 00:09:39,200
you still wouldn't be getting in.
230
00:09:39,202 --> 00:09:41,919
We are at capacity!
231
00:09:41,921 --> 00:09:44,205
Hey, Robbie.
On the list.
232
00:09:44,207 --> 00:09:46,376
Go right on in, child.
233
00:09:48,378 --> 00:09:51,014
Uh, hello?
234
00:09:53,016 --> 00:09:56,133
Do you need a dictionary
to define the word "capacity?"
235
00:09:56,135 --> 00:09:57,969
I have clear orders:
236
00:09:57,971 --> 00:10:00,087
Only very hot men
who look like trouble.
237
00:10:00,089 --> 00:10:02,256
Mm-hmm.
238
00:10:06,945 --> 00:10:08,779
Excuse me, you know
where I can find Max?
239
00:10:08,781 --> 00:10:11,098
- Yes, she's in the back.
- Cool.
240
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,451
Robbie, it's me, Caroline.
241
00:10:13,453 --> 00:10:15,436
Oh, sorry.
242
00:10:15,438 --> 00:10:17,238
Did we have sex?
243
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,489
What? No!
244
00:10:18,491 --> 00:10:19,907
I'm Max's roommate.
245
00:10:19,909 --> 00:10:22,576
Oh, Max had a roommate?
246
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:24,245
I was pretty much wasted
the whole time.
247
00:10:24,247 --> 00:10:26,497
I remember, like, nothing,
248
00:10:26,499 --> 00:10:30,001
but I'm in the program now,
so it's one day at a time.
249
00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:32,803
- Well, Max is through there.
- Cool.
250
00:10:32,805 --> 00:10:34,755
But we did have sex, right?
251
00:10:34,757 --> 00:10:36,623
No!
We did not have sex.
252
00:10:36,625 --> 00:10:38,759
You offered, but I wasn't into you.
253
00:10:39,979 --> 00:10:41,164
Yeah, right.
254
00:10:45,517 --> 00:10:47,603
- Hey, Max.
- Robbie!
255
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:50,988
Why are you making that face?
256
00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:53,190
You have a toothache or something?
257
00:10:53,192 --> 00:10:56,444
No, it's...
I'm successful now
258
00:10:56,446 --> 00:10:57,862
and this is my shop.
259
00:10:57,864 --> 00:10:59,980
Wow. Cool.
260
00:10:59,982 --> 00:11:02,583
So listen, I'm an alcoholic now,
261
00:11:02,585 --> 00:11:04,818
and I did a lot of stuff
that wasn't cool,
262
00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:06,620
and I came here because the program
263
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,823
says that I have to make almonds.
264
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,511
"Almonds"?
265
00:11:13,513 --> 00:11:16,430
You mean "amends"?
266
00:11:16,432 --> 00:11:20,101
Cool. So, look,
I cheated on you
267
00:11:20,103 --> 00:11:22,887
behind your back, like, every day.
268
00:11:23,389 --> 00:11:25,940
Well, um, we don't have
to go into all this now.
269
00:11:25,942 --> 00:11:27,391
It's kind of a big night for me.
270
00:11:27,393 --> 00:11:29,894
And I stole money from you too,
271
00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:32,030
like, every time we had sex.
272
00:11:33,032 --> 00:11:35,066
But we had a lot of sex.
273
00:11:35,068 --> 00:11:36,233
I know.
274
00:11:36,235 --> 00:11:38,353
Well, I stole a lot of money.
275
00:11:39,355 --> 00:11:42,623
Well, this just went
from "suck it" to "it sucks,"
276
00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:44,458
so lift up your shirt.
277
00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:46,112
I gotta get something out of tonight.
278
00:11:48,514 --> 00:11:50,298
Money well spent.
279
00:11:53,535 --> 00:11:55,336
Just found out I paid for more sex
280
00:11:55,338 --> 00:11:58,039
than an Arab businessman.
281
00:11:59,041 --> 00:12:00,561
Maybe this wasn't the healthiest thing
282
00:12:00,562 --> 00:12:01,708
I could've done tonight.
283
00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:03,060
So what do you wanna do?
284
00:12:03,062 --> 00:12:05,263
Should I tell Nevel to keep Johnny out?
285
00:12:06,265 --> 00:12:08,649
Too late.
Way too late.
286
00:12:08,651 --> 00:12:09,934
Max.
287
00:12:09,936 --> 00:12:12,269
Hi.
288
00:12:12,271 --> 00:12:14,388
You look even better than I remember.
289
00:12:14,390 --> 00:12:17,024
Well, I should.
I just got blown.
290
00:12:18,611 --> 00:12:21,612
Suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it.
291
00:12:21,614 --> 00:12:23,080
Max, this place is so awesome.
292
00:12:23,082 --> 00:12:24,548
It's like you're telling everybody
293
00:12:24,550 --> 00:12:26,534
who ever doubted you to suck it.
294
00:12:26,536 --> 00:12:30,121
No, we're not petty like that.
295
00:12:30,123 --> 00:12:31,738
Hey, it's a little loud in here.
296
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,057
You wanna talk in the hall?
297
00:12:33,059 --> 00:12:36,627
Uh, wait, let me take a look
around my big, successful shop.
298
00:12:36,629 --> 00:12:37,945
Yeah, I can go.
299
00:12:38,747 --> 00:12:39,930
Keep your eye on Max.
300
00:12:39,932 --> 00:12:41,265
That guy in the Brad Pitt glasses
301
00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:42,918
broke her heart, and I don't trust him.
302
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,053
Max, you look insanely good.
303
00:12:46,555 --> 00:12:47,471
Thanks.
304
00:12:47,473 --> 00:12:49,523
Now, maybe you could repeat that
to your wife,
305
00:12:49,525 --> 00:12:51,642
and where is she?
306
00:12:51,644 --> 00:12:52,926
We never got married.
307
00:12:52,928 --> 00:12:56,113
Max! Max!
I can't get in!
308
00:12:56,115 --> 00:12:59,066
Wait, what do you mean
you didn't get married?
309
00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:03,287
Johnny!
Hey, Johnny, I'm back here!
310
00:13:03,289 --> 00:13:04,809
I didn't know if I was gonna tell you,
311
00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:05,970
but then I got your invite...
312
00:13:05,971 --> 00:13:08,910
Max! Johnny!
I'm back here!
313
00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:11,278
Should we just go say "hi"?
314
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:12,997
Uh, no, not right now.
315
00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:16,467
Max! Max!
I can't get in!
316
00:13:16,469 --> 00:13:19,470
Max! Johnny!
317
00:13:19,472 --> 00:13:21,839
Max, I've been thinking
about you a lot.
318
00:13:21,841 --> 00:13:24,308
Stop. Before you
say anything else,
319
00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:25,894
I just have to say
320
00:13:26,696 --> 00:13:28,264
I need candy.
321
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,983
All right, what were you saying?
322
00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:35,821
I called off the wedding
because she wasn't the one,
323
00:13:36,823 --> 00:13:39,023
and you wanna know how I know that?
324
00:13:40,026 --> 00:13:43,027
Max! Johnny!
325
00:13:43,029 --> 00:13:45,496
I can't get into the party!
326
00:13:45,498 --> 00:13:46,847
Come here.
327
00:13:46,849 --> 00:13:48,282
Help me out!
328
00:13:48,284 --> 00:13:49,700
Seriously!
329
00:13:49,702 --> 00:13:51,087
That doorman is a biatch!
330
00:13:56,258 --> 00:13:58,092
Okay, so, uh...
331
00:14:01,213 --> 00:14:02,513
Wait, what are we doing?
332
00:14:02,515 --> 00:14:03,915
Making out in a room full of candy.
333
00:14:03,916 --> 00:14:06,967
Right.
334
00:14:06,969 --> 00:14:08,219
No, no, this can't happen.
335
00:14:08,221 --> 00:14:09,854
I was gonna give you my "suck it" face.
336
00:14:09,856 --> 00:14:12,025
Okay, give it to me.
I deserve it.
337
00:14:15,027 --> 00:14:17,645
Your "suck it" face is hot.
338
00:14:17,647 --> 00:14:19,613
It's the hair.
339
00:14:21,534 --> 00:14:22,401
Ow!
340
00:14:35,497 --> 00:14:37,733
Greatest night of my life!
341
00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:55,221
This is not my T-shirt,
342
00:14:55,223 --> 00:14:58,557
though I am all about the Girl Power.
343
00:14:58,559 --> 00:15:00,509
It's not my T-shirt either.
344
00:15:00,511 --> 00:15:03,796
Some nerd left it in the dryer
at the laundromat.
345
00:15:03,798 --> 00:15:04,983
It's mine.
346
00:15:06,985 --> 00:15:09,151
Girl Power!
347
00:15:09,153 --> 00:15:10,987
No way.
No way!
348
00:15:10,989 --> 00:15:12,938
Do I smell chocolate chips?
349
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:15,891
And is Uncle Andy making pancakes?
350
00:15:15,893 --> 00:15:18,194
You do, and I am.
351
00:15:18,196 --> 00:15:20,646
Dude, I don't know you,
but chocolate chip pancakes
352
00:15:20,648 --> 00:15:22,299
are the balls.
353
00:15:23,901 --> 00:15:25,067
How did you two sleep?
354
00:15:25,069 --> 00:15:27,036
Did we sleep?
355
00:15:27,538 --> 00:15:30,255
Great! So what's
gonna happen now?
356
00:15:30,257 --> 00:15:31,540
I meant today, at the shop,
357
00:15:31,542 --> 00:15:32,925
our big first day in business!
358
00:15:32,927 --> 00:15:34,567
You thought I was talking
about you two?
359
00:15:34,568 --> 00:15:35,968
Plbbt! I don't care
about you two.
360
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:38,780
Plbbt! Nobody cares
about you two.
361
00:15:38,832 --> 00:15:41,467
Well, first, we have
to clean the party mess up.
362
00:15:41,469 --> 00:15:42,718
Andy and I did it last night
363
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,687
when you didn't come back.
364
00:15:44,689 --> 00:15:46,889
Um, can someone here mellow out
365
00:15:46,891 --> 00:15:50,025
and put some pancakes
in her pancake hole?
366
00:15:50,027 --> 00:15:51,443
No, Caroline, I get it.
367
00:15:51,445 --> 00:15:53,696
It's been a rocky ride for Max and me.
368
00:15:53,698 --> 00:15:55,397
See, when we met, I had a girlfriend.
369
00:15:55,399 --> 00:15:56,879
Which he never told her about, and...
370
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,684
And keep eating.
371
00:15:58,686 --> 00:16:00,185
And because of that, Max and I
372
00:16:00,187 --> 00:16:01,537
never really got together,
373
00:16:01,539 --> 00:16:02,988
and then that girl and I broke up,
374
00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:05,023
and by the time
I saw Max again, I was...
375
00:16:05,025 --> 00:16:07,042
Engaged to be married?
376
00:16:07,044 --> 00:16:09,128
Yeah, yeah, I was gonna get married.
377
00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:10,862
Wait, to that same girlfriend?
378
00:16:10,864 --> 00:16:12,383
Different one.
Different one.
379
00:16:14,385 --> 00:16:15,905
Yeah, but that didn't work out either,
380
00:16:15,906 --> 00:16:17,626
and I've had a couple
girlfriends since...
381
00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:20,255
Oh! Only a couple!
382
00:16:20,257 --> 00:16:22,675
Yeah, none of them seemed to work out.
383
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:24,876
None of them are Max.
384
00:16:27,097 --> 00:16:28,564
Hey, save me a pancake.
385
00:16:28,566 --> 00:16:31,385
It looks like Caroline
has plans to eat them all.
386
00:16:33,387 --> 00:16:35,437
Well, Max, as far
as the "suck it" plan goes,
387
00:16:35,439 --> 00:16:37,725
it looks like somebody
sucked something.
388
00:16:42,662 --> 00:16:45,614
Pancakes, pancake hole.
389
00:16:45,616 --> 00:16:46,615
He's a good guy.
390
00:16:46,617 --> 00:16:48,117
Yeah, he seems cool.
391
00:16:48,119 --> 00:16:50,753
Kinda falls in love a lot, but hey...
392
00:16:50,755 --> 00:16:52,338
And I did not tell him to say that.
393
00:16:52,340 --> 00:16:54,707
He never does what I say.
It's hot.
394
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:57,376
"But hey" what?
395
00:16:57,378 --> 00:16:58,761
Oh, we're continuing?
396
00:16:58,763 --> 00:16:59,879
Um, I don't know.
397
00:16:59,881 --> 00:17:01,881
Maybe I'm partial, but Max,
398
00:17:01,883 --> 00:17:03,132
you're an "A."
399
00:17:03,134 --> 00:17:04,300
He kind of seems
like a "B."
400
00:17:04,302 --> 00:17:06,102
Minus.
401
00:17:06,104 --> 00:17:07,720
First of all, look at me.
402
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:11,507
I am clearly a "D,"
403
00:17:11,509 --> 00:17:14,310
and I don't think
he falls in love a lot.
404
00:17:14,312 --> 00:17:17,513
Man, I love, love, love pancakes.
405
00:17:17,515 --> 00:17:21,117
If I could, I would marry a pancake.
406
00:17:29,126 --> 00:17:30,794
What time is it?
407
00:17:31,796 --> 00:17:32,880
10:20.
408
00:17:35,582 --> 00:17:36,782
Well, it's the first day open.
409
00:17:36,784 --> 00:17:38,864
All those people are probably
tired from the party.
410
00:17:38,865 --> 00:17:39,701
Yeah.
411
00:17:39,703 --> 00:17:41,370
Oh, and look!
We forgot to light it up.
412
00:17:41,372 --> 00:17:42,532
People don't know we're open.
413
00:17:44,542 --> 00:17:48,511
In five, four, three, two.
414
00:17:48,513 --> 00:17:51,380
Whoo!
415
00:17:51,382 --> 00:17:53,551
Go to work.
416
00:17:59,072 --> 00:18:01,275
- First day!
- Yep.
417
00:18:03,277 --> 00:18:04,911
No one's here.
418
00:18:05,913 --> 00:18:07,953
Remember: All we have to sell
is 70 cupcakes a day
419
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,098
to keep on track.
420
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:11,367
70 cupcakes?
That's not so hard.
421
00:18:13,987 --> 00:18:15,387
Maybe we should do the light again.
422
00:18:17,541 --> 00:18:21,360
In five, four, three, two.
423
00:18:21,362 --> 00:18:23,296
Whoo!
424
00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:28,468
What time is it now?
425
00:18:32,488 --> 00:18:35,140
Tomorrow, we only need
to sell 140 cupcakes.
426
00:18:35,142 --> 00:18:38,277
140 cupcakes!
That's not so hard.
427
00:18:38,279 --> 00:18:40,196
How many did we sell today?
428
00:18:40,198 --> 00:18:42,231
Four.
429
00:18:42,233 --> 00:18:44,450
And all were to Johnny.
430
00:18:44,452 --> 00:18:46,368
I think I've made a terrible mistake.
431
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:47,903
It's only been three days.
432
00:18:47,905 --> 00:18:49,038
Business will pick up.
433
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,573
No, with Johnny.
434
00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:52,992
It's different now that he's available.
435
00:18:53,494 --> 00:18:55,654
Maybe I'm the kind of person
who only wants something
436
00:18:55,655 --> 00:18:57,415
they can't have,
and then when they get it,
437
00:18:57,416 --> 00:18:58,497
they don't want it anymore.
438
00:18:58,499 --> 00:19:01,917
Okay, but do you feel that way
about the cupcake shop too?
439
00:19:01,919 --> 00:19:04,169
No, I love our cupcake shop.
440
00:19:04,171 --> 00:19:05,851
Wow, that's the first time
I've ever said
441
00:19:05,852 --> 00:19:07,756
I loved anything out loud,
442
00:19:07,758 --> 00:19:09,677
except for Robitussin.
443
00:19:11,679 --> 00:19:12,845
It's Johnny.
444
00:19:13,347 --> 00:19:14,730
Well, I know what I have to do.
445
00:19:14,732 --> 00:19:16,965
Max, you can't change
your mind about him now.
446
00:19:16,967 --> 00:19:19,318
He's our only customer!
447
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,238
By the way, I've always loved him.
448
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,023
Hey, guys.
449
00:19:24,025 --> 00:19:25,941
Um, could we talk in the kitchen?
450
00:19:26,443 --> 00:19:27,159
Yeah.
451
00:19:27,161 --> 00:19:29,125
Wait, before you go, I just wanna say
452
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,646
that no matter what goes down in life,
453
00:19:30,648 --> 00:19:32,915
we are always open to your business.
454
00:19:36,536 --> 00:19:39,255
We're either
gonna have crazy kitchen sex
455
00:19:39,257 --> 00:19:40,873
or I'm getting expelled.
456
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,374
We're not having kitchen sex.
457
00:19:42,376 --> 00:19:43,993
It's way too dirty in here
458
00:19:44,995 --> 00:19:46,913
from other people having kitchen sex.
459
00:19:48,215 --> 00:19:50,049
So I'm getting expelled?
460
00:19:50,551 --> 00:19:52,968
It's weird, right?
Between us?
461
00:19:52,970 --> 00:19:54,503
Yeah, I don't know what it is.
462
00:19:54,505 --> 00:19:58,557
Maybe it's an absence
of a lot of candy...
463
00:19:59,610 --> 00:20:01,310
But it's not the same.
464
00:20:01,312 --> 00:20:03,562
Max! Johnny!
I thought I heard you.
465
00:20:05,649 --> 00:20:07,015
Max!
466
00:20:07,017 --> 00:20:08,317
I can't get out!
467
00:20:08,319 --> 00:20:09,818
Maybe we're only at our best
468
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:12,121
when you have another girlfriend.
469
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:13,923
Maybe give me a call
when you get that going
470
00:20:13,924 --> 00:20:15,074
in, like, ten minutes.
471
00:20:16,577 --> 00:20:18,744
Or I could just call you
on my actual wedding day.
472
00:20:19,546 --> 00:20:21,330
Oh, cool!
Yeah, just call me 30 minutes
473
00:20:21,332 --> 00:20:23,365
before the service, and I'll be there.
474
00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:26,001
Or better yet, call me at, like,
your 50th wedding anniversary.
475
00:20:26,003 --> 00:20:28,537
Yeah, now that's hot.
476
00:20:28,539 --> 00:20:29,972
Max!
477
00:20:29,974 --> 00:20:32,710
Johnny!
I'm cold!
478
00:20:34,712 --> 00:20:36,563
Kiss good-bye?
479
00:20:37,565 --> 00:20:40,484
Seriously, guys, I can't feel my toes!
480
00:20:43,186 --> 00:20:46,022
See, it's hot again 'cause we broke up!
481
00:20:47,024 --> 00:20:49,074
I'll see you at my 50th,
482
00:20:49,076 --> 00:20:50,577
if not before.
483
00:20:56,116 --> 00:20:57,916
First the party, now this.
484
00:20:57,918 --> 00:21:00,787
When I have a party,
you won't be on the list.
485
00:21:01,789 --> 00:21:03,288
You're right.
I deserve that.
486
00:21:03,290 --> 00:21:05,124
No, I was doing a power move.
487
00:21:05,126 --> 00:21:06,927
Please, I'm begging you to come.
488
00:21:09,429 --> 00:21:10,095
We'll see.
489
00:21:10,097 --> 00:21:11,347
I might be a little too busy
490
00:21:11,349 --> 00:21:13,882
with my big, successful cupcake shop,
491
00:21:13,884 --> 00:21:15,104
so suck it.
492
00:21:19,256 --> 00:21:25,255
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com