1
00:00:01,689 --> 00:00:04,251
Fresh warm cupcakes!
2
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:08,339
Enjoy this winter wonderland
with some hot, hot cocoa!
3
00:00:09,708 --> 00:00:11,755
Why are we open and selling
to no one,
4
00:00:11,756 --> 00:00:13,923
when we should be closed
and taking a floor nap?
5
00:00:14,479 --> 00:00:18,976
Yes, Max, it's a blizzard right now,
but in an hour, it could be 65!
6
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,814
That's the beauty
of global warming.
7
00:00:20,816 --> 00:00:22,515
You, stop!
8
00:00:22,517 --> 00:00:24,749
I'll give you
a peppermint stick!
9
00:00:25,219 --> 00:00:27,819
That is a straw
with red stripes.
10
00:00:27,821 --> 00:00:30,655
Well, what sounds better, Max,
a peppermint stick or...
11
00:00:30,657 --> 00:00:33,191
"A straw with red stripes"?
12
00:00:33,193 --> 00:00:36,827
First of all,
great impression of me.
13
00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:41,797
And second, no one in their right mind
is stopping for cupcakes right now.
14
00:00:45,033 --> 00:00:49,201
Oh, hey, girls!
Guess who wants a cupcake.
15
00:00:49,203 --> 00:00:50,936
It's me.
16
00:00:50,938 --> 00:00:54,418
Here you go, Sophie.
See, Max, we have a customer.
17
00:00:54,419 --> 00:00:57,486
And just so you know,
I'm not gonna pay.
18
00:00:58,943 --> 00:01:04,613
Oh, I'm so glad you stayed open,
even with all this snow everywhere.
19
00:01:04,615 --> 00:01:06,881
You know, good for you.
20
00:01:06,883 --> 00:01:10,183
You two are really committed
to this little cupcake window,
21
00:01:10,185 --> 00:01:12,344
even when it's stupid.
22
00:01:15,989 --> 00:01:18,123
That's it,
we're closing.
23
00:01:18,125 --> 00:01:22,359
These streets need to be plowed more
than that poor married Jonas brother.
24
00:01:23,703 --> 00:01:26,995
No, wait. Listen!
It's the snowplow.
25
00:01:26,997 --> 00:01:28,596
Now, people will be able
to get to us.
26
00:01:28,598 --> 00:01:32,998
I told you, it is gonna be one of those
magical New York City nights.
27
00:01:39,271 --> 00:01:41,509
Do it again!
28
00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:47,662
Season 3, Episode 13
"And the Big But"
29
00:01:54,341 --> 00:01:57,341
Synced by P2Pfiend & Reef
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:01,854
Why are we here?
31
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,422
It's still snowing,
and we have no customers.
32
00:02:04,423 --> 00:02:07,471
I had to put money in the cash
register just to steal it.
33
00:02:09,559 --> 00:02:12,059
We can't just leave.
Han's not here.
34
00:02:12,061 --> 00:02:15,512
Maybe the trains aren't running,
or Han got knocked out by a snowflake.
35
00:02:16,264 --> 00:02:19,521
Well, you know the diner rule,
the one I just made up.
36
00:02:19,866 --> 00:02:23,789
If he's 30 minutes late, we grab whatevev
we can fit in our pockets and leave.
37
00:02:25,203 --> 00:02:30,619
Of course, if he's 31 minutes late and
there's no one here, we all get fired.
38
00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:33,803
But I say
we roll the dice.
39
00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:38,847
Well, whatever happened, we can't
run the diner if Han's not here.
40
00:02:38,849 --> 00:02:43,048
That's right, who's gonna walk around
here guessing what a vagina looks like?
41
00:02:43,854 --> 00:02:46,498
Uh, me?
42
00:02:48,157 --> 00:02:49,757
Pick up.
43
00:02:49,759 --> 00:02:53,830
I like this cold weather.
I get to wear my chin-cheetah hat.
44
00:02:54,764 --> 00:02:57,698
Chin-cheetah...?
That's not even a real animal.
45
00:02:57,700 --> 00:03:01,027
Yes, it is.
This was the last one.
46
00:03:03,138 --> 00:03:05,973
Who's that food for?
We don't have any customers.
47
00:03:05,975 --> 00:03:09,810
It's for me and Deke. We're studying
pastry school stuff in the cupcake shop.
48
00:03:09,812 --> 00:03:12,279
We're also putting rocks
in snowballs and throwing them
49
00:03:12,281 --> 00:03:15,044
at hipsters wearing those stupid
stuffed animal hats.
50
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:17,650
Max, you think
school will be open?
51
00:03:17,652 --> 00:03:19,979
I was hoping it'd be closed,
so I'd have at least have one day
52
00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:22,990
where I wouldn't have to deal with
the drama between me and Chef Nicolas.
53
00:03:22,992 --> 00:03:25,881
Oh, is that the married man
you kissed?
54
00:03:26,830 --> 00:03:30,487
- Who told you?
- You! Like a hundred times.
55
00:03:31,601 --> 00:03:34,668
Ooh!
Let's play a snow day game.
56
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:38,105
Like what, guess the code
to the safe in Han's office?
57
00:03:38,107 --> 00:03:41,608
I know the first two numbers
are eight and nine.
58
00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:44,377
How about...
if you could have sex
59
00:03:44,379 --> 00:03:46,847
with anyone here,
who would it be?
60
00:03:47,566 --> 00:03:50,818
"Could have"
or "forced to have"?
61
00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:53,120
Oleg, you go first.
62
00:03:53,122 --> 00:03:57,101
- I pick Caroline.
- Oh, thank you. That's gross.
63
00:04:00,028 --> 00:04:03,538
No, Caroline got mauled
by a bear in the snow.
64
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,533
I did?
65
00:04:05,535 --> 00:04:08,641
No, it was me
in a bear costume.
66
00:04:08,806 --> 00:04:11,069
She never saw me coming.
67
00:04:11,676 --> 00:04:15,511
So my only two choices
are you or Earl?
68
00:04:15,513 --> 00:04:18,369
No, Earl passed away
in his sleep.
69
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,994
Of course,
you'll feel terrible
70
00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:24,696
when that happens
in a couple of weeks.
71
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:30,269
Now, if you'd excuse me, I'm going
to go home and roll me a fatty.
72
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:32,665
Her name is Denise.
73
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,611
Okay, so I pick you.
74
00:04:38,613 --> 00:04:40,358
Me?
75
00:04:40,682 --> 00:04:44,361
You pick me
out of all these two people?
76
00:04:45,475 --> 00:04:50,516
- Luis, are you blushing?
- No! I'm wearing blush.
77
00:04:51,614 --> 00:04:55,605
Don't worry, everyone!
I survived!
78
00:05:00,622 --> 00:05:06,294
Still don't know where Han is,
but the new Bond villain just arrived.
79
00:05:06,296 --> 00:05:10,026
Now there's an even bigger
Octopussy in town.
80
00:05:12,455 --> 00:05:14,023
I'm very sorry I'm late.
81
00:05:14,024 --> 00:05:17,478
I got stuck in a snow bank,
and I had to pee myself out.
82
00:05:18,075 --> 00:05:20,777
Where's Max? And I know
shs's not trapped in the storm,
83
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:24,034
'cause she's the one who
taught me how to pee my way out.
84
00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:27,350
Max, what is the French name
for this pastry
85
00:05:27,352 --> 00:05:29,872
that looks like
a bunch of glazed balls?
86
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,588
A sha-sha-sha?
87
00:05:32,719 --> 00:05:34,089
No.
88
00:05:34,091 --> 00:05:36,593
A doh-doh-doh-doh-doh?
89
00:05:36,595 --> 00:05:39,931
Oh, so close.
It's a "pata-choo."
90
00:05:40,369 --> 00:05:43,300
French and chemistry
for pastry school?
91
00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:46,716
I thought class was gonna be like,
"Which is better, cake or bread?"
92
00:05:46,731 --> 00:05:49,466
"They're both great, duh.
Here's your degree."
93
00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:51,976
I have terrible news.
94
00:05:51,978 --> 00:05:54,746
Han's not dead, and he wants us
to do side work.
95
00:05:54,756 --> 00:05:58,551
Do you mind?
Harry Pothead and I are trying to study.
96
00:06:00,353 --> 00:06:02,053
Oh, Max,
I know how we'll pass.
97
00:06:02,055 --> 00:06:04,222
We can ask that girl next to us
in class for help.
98
00:06:04,224 --> 00:06:07,592
She speaks French. You know,
the one with the bubble butt, Judy?
99
00:06:07,594 --> 00:06:11,161
Oh, yeah!
Judy with the booty.
100
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,496
You don't know her
that well.
101
00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:15,088
Please, call her
"Judith with the boodith."
102
00:06:17,035 --> 00:06:20,482
Max, can I interrupt
this episode of "Ass Chat"
103
00:06:21,773 --> 00:06:23,806
and talk to you outside
for a second?
104
00:06:23,808 --> 00:06:26,208
- Sure.
- Hey, Max.
105
00:06:26,210 --> 00:06:29,984
Her butt's so big, she walks
into the room doggie-style.
106
00:06:32,881 --> 00:06:36,462
Like I said to my uncle when he came into
my bedroom in the middle of the night,
107
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,075
"This better be good."
108
00:06:40,952 --> 00:06:44,821
Does it bother you when Deke talks about
other girls with you like you're a guy?
109
00:06:44,823 --> 00:06:48,619
Not as much as it bothers me
when you talk to me like I'm a girl.
110
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:52,609
Look, Deke and I are just bros.
I don't want to sleep with him.
111
00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:56,045
Not that there's anything wrong
with two bros sleeping together.
112
00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:58,829
I'm not bromophobic.
113
00:06:59,936 --> 00:07:01,902
It's just not what this is.
114
00:07:01,904 --> 00:07:05,906
So you're sure there's nothing sexual
going on between you and him?
115
00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:08,066
Yes, I'm sure.
116
00:07:10,545 --> 00:07:12,313
No!
117
00:07:12,315 --> 00:07:15,182
Watch, I'm gonna take
a snow swim.
118
00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:22,420
Not that cold.
119
00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:29,579
You're right, nothing sexual there,
unless you like adult men in underoos.
120
00:07:38,131 --> 00:07:42,200
Well, there's Nicolas.
I was not prepared for this.
121
00:07:42,202 --> 00:07:46,825
Really? 'Cause we spent the entire
subway ride preparing you for this.
122
00:07:47,571 --> 00:07:50,705
Okay, look, should I brace myself
for weirdness between you two?
123
00:07:50,707 --> 00:07:52,907
And by that,
I mean should I hit this?
124
00:07:52,909 --> 00:07:55,616
No, I'm cool.
Cool as a cucumber.
125
00:07:55,617 --> 00:07:58,531
LL Cool J.
Never been cooler.
126
00:07:58,614 --> 00:08:01,382
Ugh! Why didn't I drink
before you said that?
127
00:08:01,384 --> 00:08:05,509
Oh, yeah.
I am gonna ice him out.
128
00:08:06,255 --> 00:08:08,688
Well, maybe lose
a couple of those cubes,
129
00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:10,590
because he is your boss,
and the only reason
130
00:08:10,592 --> 00:08:13,164
I can afford to go here
is 'cause you work in the office.
131
00:08:13,165 --> 00:08:16,414
- Don't worry, he'll never know.
- Pretend you're Nicolas.
132
00:08:16,415 --> 00:08:18,810
Hello, Caroline.
133
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:22,735
I am a man,
but I am pretty like a lady.
134
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:26,473
- Good morning, how are you?
- Ooh, that was good.
135
00:08:27,743 --> 00:08:30,113
'Sup, Max? Look who
I got to ride up with.
136
00:08:30,114 --> 00:08:32,030
- Hey, Max.
- Hey, Jude.
137
00:08:32,031 --> 00:08:36,387
- You ever heard that one before?
- Yeah. Is that, like, a thing?
138
00:08:36,685 --> 00:08:39,129
Thanks for the ride up,
Deke.
139
00:08:39,254 --> 00:08:41,848
Caroline.
140
00:08:45,159 --> 00:08:48,361
I bet we were gonna have
to take the freight elevator.
141
00:08:48,363 --> 00:08:52,376
Really? I assumed you guys
would take the ass-calator.
142
00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:58,205
- Oh, hello, Caroline.
- Good morning, how are you?
143
00:08:58,207 --> 00:09:02,142
- Very well, thank you.
- Can't you see I'm mad at you?
144
00:09:02,144 --> 00:09:06,601
- Then why are you smiling?
- This is my fake face.
145
00:09:07,115 --> 00:09:10,000
Then what does
your real face look like?
146
00:09:10,195 --> 00:09:13,489
How dare you kiss me
when you're married?
147
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,988
I prefer the fake one.
148
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:22,861
- Bonjour, class.
- Bonjour, Chef Nicolas.
149
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:27,399
Today, we will be concentrating
on the chemistry of baking,
150
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,068
for tomorrow's test.
151
00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:33,649
I don't know about the damn test, but
I would ace a pop quiz on that ass.
152
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:37,075
- Oh, sorry.
- I'll get that.
153
00:09:37,091 --> 00:09:40,137
Let Judy pick it up.
It's a chance to see it in motion.
154
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:45,249
You think she got that thing
at a Kim Kardashian backyard sale?
155
00:09:48,186 --> 00:09:52,023
When you add water to the flour
to hydrate the two proteins,
156
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,792
glutenin and gliadin,
those two proteins
157
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,995
are drawn to each other,
and they bond.
158
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,897
Like I like to say,
they're hot for each other.
159
00:10:00,769 --> 00:10:03,768
Max, look, they were drawn
to each other, they bonded,
160
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,332
and now, we've got
our own big butt.
161
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,666
Dat ass, though!
162
00:10:09,047 --> 00:10:11,409
More like dat ass dough.
163
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,516
You need to wet the dough with
water to keep it moist and supple.
164
00:10:17,518 --> 00:10:20,986
Wet your bread, everyone,
wet your bread.
165
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:23,255
Mine's pretty wet.
How's yours?
166
00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:25,931
Mine would be,
but it's on antidepressants.
167
00:10:26,261 --> 00:10:28,773
Work with your partner,
help each other out.
168
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:31,966
- Here, let me help, Max.
- Yeah, mine's not as smooth as yours.
169
00:10:31,968 --> 00:10:35,007
Mm, keep kneing it.
You need more water.
170
00:10:41,576 --> 00:10:43,010
It's better, right?
171
00:10:43,012 --> 00:10:46,391
Yeah, I think
wetting it helped.
172
00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:59,126
Caroline, something
is really wrong with me.
173
00:10:59,128 --> 00:11:03,096
Don't freak out. I'm here for you.
Unless it's something I can catch.
174
00:11:04,599 --> 00:11:08,630
Something weird happened.
I think I might have feelings for Deke.
175
00:11:08,631 --> 00:11:10,835
Oh, God, no!
176
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:15,031
I mean, that is interesting.
Let's talk about that.
177
00:11:15,032 --> 00:11:16,182
I don't know what to do.
178
00:11:16,183 --> 00:11:19,767
We're bros, and I don't want to ruin the
friendship, which is really unlike me.
179
00:11:19,768 --> 00:11:23,594
I always ruin friendships. I've been
trying to ruin ours since you moved in.
180
00:11:23,596 --> 00:11:25,996
Well, what changed
with Deke?
181
00:11:25,998 --> 00:11:28,632
It was so weird...
he was wetting my bread,
182
00:11:28,634 --> 00:11:31,750
and then my bread was wet,
if you know what I'm saying.
183
00:11:32,849 --> 00:11:36,051
Okay, thank you.
I'm finally off bread.
184
00:11:36,477 --> 00:11:38,110
Look, I understand.
185
00:11:38,112 --> 00:11:39,778
You can't always help
who you're attracted to.
186
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,146
It's like with me
and Nicolas...
187
00:11:41,148 --> 00:11:43,481
This is not the same
as you and Frenchie.
188
00:11:43,483 --> 00:11:45,744
I wasn't attracted to Deke
before today.
189
00:11:45,745 --> 00:11:47,218
The first time
you met Nicolas,
190
00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:50,401
your vagina fell on the floor
and tried to crawl up his leg.
191
00:11:51,516 --> 00:11:55,295
Yes, but I scooped it up
and snapped it back on
192
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:58,761
because I was not born
to have sex with a married man.
193
00:11:58,762 --> 00:12:00,808
If I was, I would have flirted
with Matt Lauer
194
00:12:00,809 --> 00:12:03,478
when he came over for the Christmas
tree lighting at my house.
195
00:12:04,309 --> 00:12:07,407
Matt Lauer...
that guy's got game.
196
00:12:07,409 --> 00:12:10,143
No hair, but game.
197
00:12:10,815 --> 00:12:13,713
Hey, everybody,
good news!
198
00:12:15,626 --> 00:12:20,349
Oh, I passed that kidney stone.
Yeah, I think the skiing loosened it.
199
00:12:20,789 --> 00:12:25,625
Oh, I felt like I was birthing
a baby through my eye hole.
200
00:12:27,354 --> 00:12:28,928
Did you save the stone?
201
00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:32,079
'Cause only three more, and you
can make me that necklace.
202
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:35,459
Max, don't change the subject.
What are you gonna do about Deke?
203
00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:40,296
Oh, wait, I love giving advice.
I had my own advice column in Poland.
204
00:12:40,298 --> 00:12:43,598
It was called
"Don't Do That!"
205
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:47,203
Sophie, have you ever
had sex with a friend?
206
00:12:47,205 --> 00:12:51,173
Oh, no.
Are you two gonna do it?
207
00:12:51,711 --> 00:12:56,399
- No, that is not what...
- Oh, don't do that!
208
00:12:56,815 --> 00:13:00,850
No, it will ruin your relationship
and my opinion of Max.
209
00:13:01,221 --> 00:13:03,419
What about your opinion
of me?
210
00:13:03,421 --> 00:13:06,885
Eh, it's already
pretty low.
211
00:13:09,727 --> 00:13:13,062
What am I gonna do about Deke?
He's coming over to study tonight.
212
00:13:13,064 --> 00:13:16,032
Oh, God, I sound like
such a girl from the '50s...
213
00:13:16,034 --> 00:13:18,741
Gonna go cry
into my princess phone.
214
00:13:19,738 --> 00:13:21,672
You should tell Deke
how you feel,
215
00:13:21,674 --> 00:13:24,174
and tell him tonight, because
I think that Judy girl likes him,
216
00:13:24,176 --> 00:13:25,909
and I think
he might like her too.
217
00:13:25,911 --> 00:13:28,311
Why do you say that?
I literally don't care at all,
218
00:13:28,313 --> 00:13:30,614
but I just want to know,
why would you say that?
219
00:13:30,616 --> 00:13:34,429
Max, he likes big butts,
and he cannot lie.
220
00:13:38,922 --> 00:13:41,423
"At what temperature
does sugar crystallize?"
221
00:13:41,425 --> 00:13:43,692
"Fahrenheit and Celsius."
Go, Max.
222
00:13:44,611 --> 00:13:45,745
Max.
223
00:13:46,665 --> 00:13:49,129
Why are you looking at me
like that?
224
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,803
- This doesn't make any sense!
- Well, your book is upside down.
225
00:13:56,306 --> 00:13:59,275
Hey, hearing a lot
of chitchat in here.
226
00:13:59,277 --> 00:14:02,245
Just wanted to make sure
you two are studying.
227
00:14:02,247 --> 00:14:04,647
Stop studying. Kiss him.
228
00:14:06,284 --> 00:14:09,719
All right, well,
I better be going.
229
00:14:09,721 --> 00:14:13,924
- Just pretend I'm not here.
- I always do.
230
00:14:14,726 --> 00:14:18,627
Hey, um, this is weird,
but before we study,
231
00:14:18,629 --> 00:14:20,729
I kind of have something
to tell you.
232
00:14:20,731 --> 00:14:23,498
Weird, 'cause I kinda
have something to tell you.
233
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:26,467
That is weird.
Maybe it's the same thing.
234
00:14:26,469 --> 00:14:28,603
Someone wants to have sex
with me.
235
00:14:28,605 --> 00:14:30,271
How did you know that?
236
00:14:30,273 --> 00:14:32,774
'Cause Judy with the booty
just texted me,
237
00:14:32,776 --> 00:14:36,550
"Would you like to study tonight
and then have sex with me?"
238
00:14:36,914 --> 00:14:39,848
I think you've interpreted that
correctly.
239
00:14:39,850 --> 00:14:43,652
Wow, she's direct
and, I might add, slutty.
240
00:14:43,654 --> 00:14:46,822
I know, she's got balls
to go with that butt.
241
00:14:46,824 --> 00:14:48,457
So what were you
gonna tell me?
242
00:14:48,459 --> 00:14:53,429
Oh, I was going to tell you
what you just told me,
243
00:14:53,431 --> 00:14:57,467
that Judy with the booty
wants to have sex with you.
244
00:14:57,469 --> 00:15:00,471
Glad she got up the guts to tell you.
So go for it.
245
00:15:00,473 --> 00:15:03,307
Wait, you want me
to go for it?
246
00:15:03,309 --> 00:15:08,078
Yeah, totally, go for it.
She seems kind of clean, go get it.
247
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,613
But we're supposed to study.
248
00:15:09,615 --> 00:15:11,515
I wouldn't want to bail on you
just to go hit that.
249
00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:13,283
Hey, if you don't,
I will.
250
00:15:13,285 --> 00:15:15,184
You're really gonna
pass that ass up?
251
00:15:15,186 --> 00:15:16,886
Now get going,
'cause I have to memorize
252
00:15:16,888 --> 00:15:20,156
what temperature cho-cho-cho
turns into chan-chan-chan.
253
00:15:20,158 --> 00:15:24,093
- So you're telling me to go?
- I'm saying, "Ta-ta-ta."
254
00:15:24,095 --> 00:15:26,964
Go get her bread wet.
Make it rise, bro.
255
00:15:26,966 --> 00:15:28,599
Okay, then, bro.
256
00:15:28,601 --> 00:15:31,735
I guess I will go,
but with that butt,
257
00:15:31,737 --> 00:15:34,750
if I come back a crack addict,
it's your fault.
258
00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:41,177
Where's he going?
Is this a condom run?
259
00:15:41,179 --> 00:15:43,279
Is he going
on a condom run?
260
00:15:43,281 --> 00:15:46,048
'Cause if he is, can you
text him to pick up a diet Coke?
261
00:15:46,050 --> 00:15:48,384
Can, not a bottle.
You know the deal.
262
00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:52,476
He's going to have sex with Judy.
You were right, he's into her.
263
00:15:52,477 --> 00:15:56,291
I'm so glad I didn't say anything.
That would have felt terrible.
264
00:15:56,293 --> 00:15:59,060
- How do you feel now?
- Terrible.
265
00:15:59,062 --> 00:16:00,863
But at least
I didn't embarrass myself.
266
00:16:00,865 --> 00:16:04,080
I was this close
to showing him my gnomes.
267
00:16:06,537 --> 00:16:08,939
Wow, you must
really like him
268
00:16:08,941 --> 00:16:11,708
if you were willing to let him know
that you're an insane person.
269
00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:14,311
Well, I'm about to be
more screwed than Judy,
270
00:16:14,313 --> 00:16:15,912
because I didn't study
at all.
271
00:16:15,914 --> 00:16:17,781
I know French.
I can help you.
272
00:16:17,783 --> 00:16:21,485
You can help me with the keys
you have to Nicolas' office.
273
00:16:21,487 --> 00:16:23,988
We are breaking in
and stealing the test!
274
00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:27,491
Why are you covering his ears?
He knows you steal.
275
00:16:27,493 --> 00:16:29,659
You took him
from someone's yard.
276
00:16:36,987 --> 00:16:40,397
I can't believe we're sneaking
into his office to steal your test.
277
00:16:40,398 --> 00:16:41,657
This is cheating.
278
00:16:41,659 --> 00:16:44,688
Oh, don't worry, I hear
my teacher's kind of into cheating.
279
00:16:46,996 --> 00:16:49,303
Can't argue with that.
280
00:16:51,201 --> 00:16:53,202
Max, please hurry.
Find the test,
281
00:16:53,204 --> 00:16:55,104
and let's get out of here
because we shouldn't be in here
282
00:16:55,106 --> 00:16:57,692
and it smells like him
and I like it.
283
00:16:58,543 --> 00:17:01,410
Okay, one of these papers
has to be it.
284
00:17:01,412 --> 00:17:04,245
Oh, no, everything's written
in secret code!
285
00:17:04,247 --> 00:17:06,747
Max, that's French.
286
00:17:08,034 --> 00:17:12,001
How is it possible he's even better-
looking in photos than in real life?
287
00:17:12,285 --> 00:17:14,451
Max, hurry up.
I can't be around his stuff.
288
00:17:14,453 --> 00:17:17,402
My vagina's trying
to get out of my pants again.
289
00:17:18,422 --> 00:17:21,089
Well, get her out here!
290
00:17:21,091 --> 00:17:23,812
Maybe shshcan help me look
for the test, 'cause you're useless.
291
00:17:25,193 --> 00:17:29,163
Oh, no, it's Nicolas. I can smell him
in the hall, and I like it.
292
00:17:29,529 --> 00:17:30,961
Max, let's get out of here.
293
00:17:30,963 --> 00:17:33,549
Okay, well, you have to stay and
distract him, so I can sneak out.
294
00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:35,800
Just pretend you're not mad
and you came in to see him.
295
00:17:35,801 --> 00:17:37,167
I can't just turn it on
like that.
296
00:17:37,169 --> 00:17:39,402
What am I, an actress
at a cocktail party?
297
00:17:39,404 --> 00:17:43,374
You have to, it's the only logical
explanation you have for being in here.
298
00:17:44,678 --> 00:17:46,077
Caroline.
299
00:17:46,079 --> 00:17:47,879
I've missed you.
I'm in your office.
300
00:17:47,881 --> 00:17:51,382
That's the only logical explanation
I have for being in here.
301
00:17:56,889 --> 00:18:00,491
- Oh, sorry. Did I hurt you?
- Oh, no, I'm sitting on something.
302
00:18:00,493 --> 00:18:03,093
Oh, sorry. Oh, those are
the exams for today.
303
00:18:03,095 --> 00:18:08,265
Oh, well, let me just give us some room
while I push these exams on the floor.
304
00:18:10,569 --> 00:18:13,437
Now, kiss me again,
but this time, lay on top of me,
305
00:18:13,438 --> 00:18:15,739
so your legs are out of the way.
Now, go!
306
00:18:23,557 --> 00:18:25,548
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
307
00:18:25,550 --> 00:18:28,918
You know this can't happen.
You're married.
308
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,355
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go snap something back on.
309
00:18:37,628 --> 00:18:40,563
Well, here are
the test answers,
310
00:18:40,565 --> 00:18:43,099
but I don't know what the questions
are, because I only got half the test,
311
00:18:43,101 --> 00:18:45,701
and I'm only half sure
those are the answers.
312
00:18:45,703 --> 00:18:50,558
- Whoa, dude, how did you get this?
- I turned Caroline into a whore.
313
00:18:51,075 --> 00:18:52,774
Can you figure out
any of this?
314
00:18:52,776 --> 00:18:56,077
I don't have any idea
what these questions could be.
315
00:18:56,079 --> 00:18:57,679
Ugh!
I didn't study either.
316
00:18:57,681 --> 00:19:00,549
Judy and I got to talk,
and it got pretty involved.
317
00:19:00,551 --> 00:19:03,486
Well, now we're screwed.
I mean, you already got screwed.
318
00:19:03,488 --> 00:19:05,454
Congrats.
Proud of you, bro.
319
00:19:05,456 --> 00:19:08,390
Max, we're gonna flunk
this test.
320
00:19:08,392 --> 00:19:11,773
Better go to the men's room and
write all the answers on my penis.
321
00:19:12,929 --> 00:19:15,163
Don't worry,
they'll fit.
322
00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:21,036
I hope you're happy, I've now
kissed a married man twice.
323
00:19:21,038 --> 00:19:23,538
Oh, and here, I grabbed this
from Nicolas' office.
324
00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:25,557
That's not the test.
It's a phone bill.
325
00:19:25,558 --> 00:19:28,377
I know, I wanted you to see
he doesn't call his wife much.
326
00:19:30,297 --> 00:19:32,847
Fire!
Everyone get out!
327
00:19:32,849 --> 00:19:36,184
Move your big ass!
We're gonna burn! Scoot.
328
00:19:37,620 --> 00:19:41,949
Oh, my God, Max!
I hope Nicolas is okay!
329
00:19:42,525 --> 00:19:45,709
Don't worry about me,
I'm right behind you!
330
00:19:46,529 --> 00:19:49,696
Caroline, I want you to be safe.
Come with me.
331
00:19:49,698 --> 00:19:53,099
You're married.
I'll just stay here and burn.
332
00:19:53,101 --> 00:19:55,469
Caroline, don't be crazy.
333
00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:58,442
This is all your fault.
334
00:20:01,044 --> 00:20:03,546
Don't worry about me,
I'm right behind you!
335
00:20:03,674 --> 00:20:05,465
Max, wait.
336
00:20:06,711 --> 00:20:09,145
It's just a false alarm.
I pulled it.
337
00:20:09,147 --> 00:20:10,880
So classy.
338
00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:15,085
You weren't gonna pass that test,
and I need you in that class with me.
339
00:20:15,087 --> 00:20:16,854
You did this for me?
340
00:20:16,856 --> 00:20:19,124
Yeah, and for me too,
I wasn't gonna pass either.
341
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:22,893
But, look, when you were talking
about me and Judy just now,
342
00:20:22,895 --> 00:20:24,428
you seemed kind of weird,
and...
343
00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:27,164
Oh, hey, I just had
a weird moment yesterday
344
00:20:27,166 --> 00:20:29,933
when you were getting my dough
wet and I kinda got turned on,
345
00:20:29,935 --> 00:20:33,303
sort of thought I liked you.
Yeah, gross, right?
346
00:20:33,572 --> 00:20:36,507
Oh, right, yeah.
Totally gross.
347
00:20:36,509 --> 00:20:38,576
Anyway, dude,
we're just bros.
348
00:20:38,578 --> 00:20:42,146
Okay, bro,
but just so you know,
349
00:20:42,148 --> 00:20:44,649
nothing happened
between me and Judy last night.
350
00:20:44,651 --> 00:20:48,519
That's lame... if you like a girl,
you should just grab her and kiss her.
351
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,121
Okay.
352
00:20:54,225 --> 00:20:57,628
- Was that weird?
- Yeah. And I liked it.
353
00:20:59,497 --> 00:21:01,298
Max, come on!
Oh.
354
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:05,002
Sorry to interrupt, but
we're supposed to evacuate the building.
355
00:21:05,004 --> 00:21:07,539
There's no fire.
Deke pulled the alarm.
356
00:21:07,541 --> 00:21:09,623
I wanted to kiss her.
357
00:21:10,177 --> 00:21:13,312
Yeah.
Turns out he's into dudes.
358
00:21:17,508 --> 00:21:20,508
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