1
00:00:02,130 --> 00:00:03,460
Thank you, everyone, for staying late

2
00:00:03,460 --> 00:00:05,460
to learn our new iPad order system.

3
00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:09,500
We had no choice, you locked
the door from the outside.

4
00:00:11,025 --> 00:00:13,200
Either way, we're learning.

5
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,970
Han, why would we
update our order system

6
00:00:15,970 --> 00:00:17,940
when our uniforms are from the 1970's

7
00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:20,810
and our paycheck is from the 1800s?

8
00:00:20,810 --> 00:00:22,780
Let's get to the tutorial.

9
00:00:22,780 --> 00:00:25,080
Max, you and I are going to role-play.

10
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,880
All right, you can be the little bitch,

11
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,420
and I'll be me.

12
00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:29,920
I don't need this lesson.

13
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,920
I'm very familiar with the touch screen.

14
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,720
Let's just say I put
the "goo" in Google.

15
00:00:35,730 --> 00:00:37,990
I'm going to pretend I'm a customer,

16
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,960
and order a hamburger.

17
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,600
Hello, miss. I'll have a hamburger.

18
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:48,000
Certainly, miss.

19
00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:52,610
Would you like that with
or without salmonella?

20
00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:56,350
Han, I got my first lesson
on the iPad from Steve Jobs,

21
00:00:56,350 --> 00:00:59,110
and now I'm getting it from Han Jobs?

22
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:02,420
Caroline, don't act like you
know more about gadgets than me.

23
00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:05,820
Formerly rich doesn't
beat currently asian.

24
00:01:07,830 --> 00:01:11,060
Now, come on, everyone
look at their iPads.

25
00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:14,230
What iPad? I didn't see an iPad.

26
00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:16,130
What? No.

27
00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:17,870
Did somebody say
something about an iPad?

28
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,600
What the hell is an iPad?

29
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,940
Where did they all go?

30
00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:25,840
I'm guessing eBay.

31
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:28,310
I want them all back, especially mine.

32
00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:32,750
I'm in a casual flirtation
with a woman in Australia.

33
00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:36,790
She's part aboriginal, but
has a great personality.

34
00:01:51,650 --> 00:01:55,525
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com

35
00:01:57,850 --> 00:01:59,380
Here you go, Earl.

36
00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:03,390
Max, what's wrong? You seem happy.

37
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:07,360
I'm just still on a high
from this $10,000 bank loan

38
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,060
I got last week.

39
00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:14,060
And from an almost certainly
laced pot brownie I ate in 2004.

40
00:02:14,070 --> 00:02:16,430
I can't believe you and
Caroline got a bank loan

41
00:02:16,430 --> 00:02:17,670
for your cupcake business,

42
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:21,600
and not a single hostage was involved.

43
00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:24,070
Max, you don't have $10,000.

44
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,110
You don't even have Netflix.

45
00:02:26,110 --> 00:02:29,180
This money is to pay a factory
to make our cupcake T-shirts,

46
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:31,280
and I've whittled it down to three.

47
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,350
Hello.

48
00:02:32,350 --> 00:02:34,480
Speaking of whittled.

49
00:02:34,490 --> 00:02:37,590
Someone used my printer, and
I'm guessing it's Caroline,

50
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,290
'cause it's about business

51
00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:42,560
and not another one of Earl's
Angela Bassett collages.

52
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:46,930
What can I say, man?
I'm a Bassett hound.

53
00:02:46,930 --> 00:02:48,360
Oh, thanks, Han.

54
00:02:48,370 --> 00:02:49,800
These are the factories
I've been researching.

55
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,070
We want our T-shirts
to be American made.

56
00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:53,800
I have an American maid,

57
00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:56,510
and all she's good at is
eating my granola bars.

58
00:02:57,910 --> 00:03:00,180
Look, Max, I found one
right here in Brooklyn.

59
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,450
"American Ace.
The founder, Ace Hardwick,

60
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,810
is devoted to treating
his workers well,"

61
00:03:04,820 --> 00:03:07,620
and not in a creepy way like
that American Apparel guy.

62
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:08,950
So you're saying none of these workers

63
00:03:08,950 --> 00:03:11,390
have ever found an ace in their hole?

64
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:15,860
Look, I've worked in a lot of factories.

65
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:17,930
I know what goes on.

66
00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:19,400
I worked in a coat factory,

67
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,770
which is why my lungs
are coated in asbestos.

68
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,500
I worked in an underwear factory,

69
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:28,100
where I was underpaid for
the fruits of my looms,

70
00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:31,370
and worst factory of all,
the cheesecake factory.

71
00:03:31,380 --> 00:03:33,380
Oh.

72
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,010
How about we do a walk-through tomorrow

73
00:03:35,010 --> 00:03:36,680
to make sure it's up to snuff?

74
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:37,850
Well, if they have snuff,

75
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:40,550
why are we waiting till tomorrow?

76
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:44,190
Hey, everybody!

77
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:47,720
Hi, great news!

78
00:03:47,730 --> 00:03:51,890
I just got carded at Buffalo Wild Wings!

79
00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:56,100
Really? I got carted out of there once.

80
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,100
And more great news:

81
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:00,540
I'm starting my own new business.

82
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:04,210
So girls, you know how
you have that $10,000?

83
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:06,940
Well, I don't want to clean you out,

84
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:10,280
But how do you feel
about tossing me $9,500?

85
00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:15,350
You two should invest.
Sophie's business is genius.

86
00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:18,520
You know how a bunch of ladies
got their down-there-hair

87
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,820
permanently lasered off?

88
00:04:20,830 --> 00:04:24,090
Yeah, that's when your waxer
gives you a Michael Chiklis.

89
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,360
Yeah.

90
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,860
Well, Sophie's offering a product

91
00:04:27,870 --> 00:04:29,970
that puts grass back on your field.

92
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:36,470
That's not a business.
That's nobody's business.

93
00:04:36,470 --> 00:04:38,040
Yeah, I don't do any of that stuff.

94
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,610
I just throw a scrunchie on mine and go.

95
00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:45,210
Hey, there's a need for
this. Sometimes, in the fog,

96
00:04:45,220 --> 00:04:49,620
my plane gets lost
without a landing strip.

97
00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:51,920
We're out.

98
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,190
Oh, don't decide yet, girls.

99
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:56,660
You haven't even heard
the cute, little name.

100
00:04:56,660 --> 00:05:00,400
"Sophie Kuchenksi's Vagina Wigs!"

101
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:04,470
Yeah, we're really out.

102
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,470
Oh. But it's a quality product,

103
00:05:07,470 --> 00:05:11,840
and it's real hair imported
from "Va-China."

104
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:15,480
Yeah, never been further out.

105
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,620
And this is our main floor.

106
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:23,890
Wow, this is amazing!

107
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,660
I feel like we're in
the Willy Wonka Factory.

108
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,020
I know, right?

109
00:05:29,030 --> 00:05:32,460
The American Ace motto
is "Work is fun".

110
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:35,160
Max was expecting a
different kind of factory.

111
00:05:35,170 --> 00:05:37,430
More torture, less foosball.

112
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:41,840
I know, right? Not at American Ace.

113
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,240
And what is your position here, Peggy?

114
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,710
Are you the "I know, right?" person?

115
00:05:45,710 --> 00:05:48,940
I know, right?

116
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:53,020
No, I'm one of the owners.
Also, I dye T-shirts.

117
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,550
See, every employee gets
a percentage of the company

118
00:05:55,550 --> 00:05:59,520
after six months, so the longer
you stay, the more it grows.

119
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,190
We've been at the diner four years,

120
00:06:01,190 --> 00:06:04,860
and the only thing we've
seen grow is Oleg's pants.

121
00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:08,030
I know, right?

122
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:13,070
Well, Ace is expecting
you. Go ahead, go have fun!

123
00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:17,640
Hey, don't be fooled by
what's on the surface.

124
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,110
You look like you have money,

125
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:21,310
but I know your underwear's in shreds.

126
00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:23,410
Not shreds, Max, shred.

127
00:06:23,410 --> 00:06:26,320
Just one, it goes from front to back.

128
00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:30,950
Um, hi, should we just
come in? The door is open.

129
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,390
Yep, always is.

130
00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:35,760
Doors create boundaries.
Boundaries are a bummer.

131
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,190
You know what else is a bummer?

132
00:06:37,190 --> 00:06:41,060
Tall guys with small penises?

133
00:06:41,070 --> 00:06:45,600
That you just missed the
gelato and designer coffee cart.

134
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,100
Espresso hazelnut praline?

135
00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:49,870
We're not here for gelato.

136
00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:52,410
We're not
not here for gelato.

137
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,080
Awesome. It's awesome to meet you.

138
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,510
I'm Ace Hardwick.

139
00:06:56,510 --> 00:07:00,380
Look, "Ace", we're not
about to give you $10,000

140
00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:03,250
so you can take advantage of
a sad, underage girl worker

141
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,650
near the loading docks
'cause her boobs are crazy big

142
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:07,890
and she needs a ride home.

143
00:07:07,890 --> 00:07:10,460
That's a "for instance."

144
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:11,730
I'm sorry?

145
00:07:11,730 --> 00:07:14,000
See, Ace, Max has some trust issues

146
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,670
When it comes to factories,
so, we're here today to...

147
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,600
You're pretty much
eating cardboard there.

148
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,640
You want me to get you another?

149
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,410
You should see her with tuna cans.

150
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:26,180
Hey, I see the prosciutto cart.

151
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:28,710
Who wants imported ham?

152
00:07:28,710 --> 00:07:30,250
Me!

153
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:34,020
Well, we're not not here for prosciutto.

154
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,450
Hey, you know what's cool?

155
00:07:35,450 --> 00:07:37,990
Short guys with big penises?

156
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:41,390
You're fun.

157
00:07:41,390 --> 00:07:43,830
Your business belongs
here at American Ace.

158
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,130
Come on, let's go meet the family.

159
00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:48,200
That guy kind of creeps me out.

160
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:52,400
On the plus side, I finally
get to meet my family.

161
00:07:53,770 --> 00:07:56,140
I had this space
designed for open energy

162
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:57,640
and open conversation.

163
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,610
What's up, other owners?

164
00:07:59,610 --> 00:08:01,340
What's up, ace?

165
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:04,150
Our sales, by 400%!

166
00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:10,550
Max, this is it. This is our factory.

167
00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:13,090
The employees
look happy and successful.

168
00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:17,660
So did the members of 'N Sync.

169
00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:21,460
But behind the curtain, a veil of tears.

170
00:08:21,470 --> 00:08:23,770
Hey, Caroline, here's
the prosciutto cart.

171
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,270
Thanks, Ace!

172
00:08:26,270 --> 00:08:27,640
Enjoy. I'm just gonna get

173
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,810
a quick five-minute chair massage.

174
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:34,080
Come on, let's slip out
while Ace has got his head

175
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,850
stuck in that chair's ass.

176
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,780
Hey, what's up?

177
00:08:38,780 --> 00:08:41,480
Welcome to American Ace. I'm Rico.

178
00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:44,750
You're, like, really,
really, really pretty.

179
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,320
Aw... oh!

180
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:51,260
So anyways, I'm part owner,
and I clean the bathroom.

181
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:55,700
Hmm, quick question: Do
you have a light cabernet?

182
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,330
Quicker question:

183
00:08:57,330 --> 00:09:00,600
Where's the secret room
with the toddler slaves?

184
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,710
What's up? I'm Raul, part
owner and security guard.

185
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,880
Hey, you two want to
grab a drink sometime?

186
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:11,980
Fridays after work, we all hang
next door at Tortilla Flats.

187
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:15,350
Tortilla Flat. Wasn't
that your stripper name?

188
00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:18,020
You're just jealous 'cause mine's taller

189
00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:21,360
and thinks I'm really,
really, really pretty.

190
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,330
Good luck with that tall guy scenario.

191
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:35,070
Sorry we're late, but we were
busy with our other business,

192
00:09:35,070 --> 00:09:37,340
the one we care about.

193
00:09:37,340 --> 00:09:41,250
How can I be mad with that
sincere, heartfelt apology?

194
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,780
Who wants to see our sample T-shirts?

195
00:09:44,780 --> 00:09:47,590
I want to see it, but I
want to see a lot of things.

196
00:09:47,590 --> 00:09:50,290
With these damn cataracts,
the best I can do

197
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:55,530
is look towards it and get a milky idea.

198
00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:57,090
Hey, girls!

199
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:58,800
I want to show you some of my new styles

200
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:02,200
for my "everybody's merkin
for the weekend" collection.

201
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,700
Sophie, what's a merkin?

202
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:07,100
It's a vagina wig.

203
00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:10,570
Oh, that's dirty.

204
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,650
And Han, I'm gonna need your input,

205
00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:18,180
because I'm working on an asian line.

206
00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:20,680
Shouldn't Han grow some hair on his

207
00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:22,950
before he starts tossing out advice?

208
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,860
Han, I need to know if
I got the texture right,

209
00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:29,690
so come over here.

210
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:32,830
Oh, yeah.

211
00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:36,430
Yeah, that feels nice. Ohh.

212
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:37,740
Ohh.

213
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:41,710
Yeah, nice and thick between my fingers.

214
00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:43,840
Oh, yeah.

215
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,580
Slower.

216
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:51,850
Slower still.

217
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:55,850
This is like watching
your gerbil hump a pencil.

218
00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:02,130
Not really sexual, but
still grosses you out.

219
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,500
Sophie, I-I think you should stop.

220
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,970
I haven't felt this
sensation since third grade

221
00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:10,530
when madam Yi checked me for head lice.

222
00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:15,710
Remind me to pick up a "what's
happening to my body?"

223
00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:17,680
book for Han tomorrow.

224
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,080
Oh, girls, I'll be over here,

225
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,680
working on my African/American line.

226
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:27,920
Yeah, I can't decide whether
to call it a "Vag-afro"

227
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:33,890
Or a "Pube-a gooding, Jr""

228
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,300
Max, look. These shirts look amazing.

229
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:41,630
Well, I guess I was
wrong about the factory.

230
00:11:41,630 --> 00:11:42,900
Like I was wrong about you

231
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:46,440
Making it through that first winter.

232
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,270
Look, there's a note in here.

233
00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:51,080
Oh, it's probably from
Rico. He's obsessed with me.

234
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,210
Yeah, it's not from him.

235
00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:55,080
It says, "help us".

236
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,150
Underpaid workers are trapped
in that factory, I knew it!

237
00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:02,220
Once again, I was fooled by ice cream.

238
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:04,690
Yes, it's a note that
says, "help us,"

239
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:06,860
but if there's one thing I
learned in business school,

240
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:10,160
it's if you don't see
it, it doesn't exist.

241
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:14,900
Look, as much as we want
to, we can't just look away.

242
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,070
We need to talk to the workers.

243
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,870
Call the guy, the one
who thinks you're pretty.

244
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:20,370
I don't know who you're talking about.

245
00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:21,670
I only met a guy who thought

246
00:12:21,670 --> 00:12:24,340
I was really, really, really pretty.

247
00:12:24,340 --> 00:12:26,840
We can meet them at that Mexican place.

248
00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:28,950
Ooh, a Mexican place!

249
00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:32,280
I forgot about the Latina market!

250
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:36,250
Girls, when you're there, find
out if they'd be interested

251
00:12:36,260 --> 00:12:39,060
in some hair south of the border.

252
00:12:41,730 --> 00:12:44,330
Didn't know if you ladies
wanted beers or margaritas,

253
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,930
so we got you beer-garitas.

254
00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:49,700
It's five bucks, but you're worth it.

255
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:52,740
I love a girl with a healthy appetite.

256
00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:54,070
Well, you're gonna be
getting down on one knee

257
00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:57,110
before the end of the appetizers.

258
00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,210
So let's just dive right in.
How's factory life treating you?

259
00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:02,210
Give us the skinny... which
is what I hope you said

260
00:13:02,210 --> 00:13:03,750
when you ordered those beer-garitas,

261
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,520
'cause I cannot be
poor with a muffin top.

262
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,390
You know, I don't want
to talk about work.

263
00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:11,020
Oh, are you saying you're not
allowed to talk about work?

264
00:13:11,020 --> 00:13:14,930
Your words, we all heard you,
Rico or Raul.

265
00:13:14,930 --> 00:13:16,730
Hey, tell me, what do
you girls like to do?

266
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:19,730
Mm, I like to watch waiters
make guacamole at my table.

267
00:13:19,730 --> 00:13:20,970
When's that gonna happen?

268
00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:25,000
- So about work...
- Yeah, okay.

269
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,340
Hey, let's go see what's
going on in beer-garitaville.

270
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,840
What are we gonna do? I
can't get any information

271
00:13:32,850 --> 00:13:34,610
out of Rico. He's so preoccupied

272
00:13:34,610 --> 00:13:37,010
with how pretty, pretty, pretty I am.

273
00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:39,350
Oh, hi, Peggy. How are you?

274
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:41,550
Would you like to join
us and talk about work?

275
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:43,990
Why don't we talk about you two skanks

276
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:47,060
gettin' the hell outta here?

277
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:51,200
And I thought we were bad waitresses.

278
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:54,570
This is Carmen. She
works at the factory too.

279
00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:57,670
We're BFFs, and she's
one of the owners, like me.

280
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:02,740
Yeah, and she's a 100%
owner of Rico, so Hands off.

281
00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:05,080
We see you two sittin' over here

282
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,440
like you're God's friggin' gift.

283
00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:11,250
I know, right? And not for nothing,

284
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:16,320
but Rico's pit bull
doesn't like other girls.

285
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:20,560
I'm guessing that's his pit bull.

286
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:28,030
And you, hands off Raul.

287
00:14:28,030 --> 00:14:31,940
We have a love that is deep and real,

288
00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:36,070
and when he finds out about
it, it's gonna be magic.

289
00:14:45,675 --> 00:14:50,200
Yup... Exactly what I expected.

290
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,130
Upstairs is Willy Wonka's factory,

291
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:55,340
and down here, they're
waterboarding Oompa Loompas.

292
00:14:57,740 --> 00:15:00,180
Yo, what's up? We just
comin' here to work

293
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:03,280
in the dye room right
there as per usual.

294
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,880
Yeah, no biggie. What
yous twos lookin' at?

295
00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:12,120
That was a really good accent.

296
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,160
Thanks. I played Rizzo in Grease.

297
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,660
Should have been Sandy, but I let

298
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:17,660
the girl with the limp have it.

299
00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:21,200
Come on, we have to put these
on and go into the dye room,

300
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,200
'cause I'm guessing that's
where it all goes down.

301
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,870
The dye room, I'm not surprised.

302
00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:28,370
I always knew we'd dye together.

303
00:15:29,810 --> 00:15:32,740
Okay, we'll just pretend
to be working here,

304
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:35,080
like we do at the diner.

305
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,310
Well, well, look who it is,

306
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:42,220
stuck-up and stuck-up
two: The legend returns.

307
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:46,820
Max, we gotta go. My life
can't end wearing grey.

308
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:48,560
What up, ladies?

309
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,760
Last night, you're
hanging with the homies,

310
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,460
and today, boom, you just
happen to be working here.

311
00:15:54,460 --> 00:15:57,300
That's friggin' convenient.

312
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:58,530
I know, right?

313
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,100
Very friggin' convenient.

314
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,100
I know, right?

315
00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:05,870
We just have to show them who's boss.

316
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:06,940
You know, like we do with the mouse

317
00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:08,710
who lives in our toaster.

318
00:16:08,710 --> 00:16:13,080
So, what, we're gonna scream
and then spray Windex at them?

319
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:16,180
Yo! See this scar?

320
00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:19,150
Knife fight with five
catholic schoolgirls

321
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,590
over a slushie. So unless you want

322
00:16:21,590 --> 00:16:24,430
some of what I gave Virginia,
Stephanie, Laquetia, Latoya,

323
00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:28,430
and the one in the
wheelchair, I'd stay clear.

324
00:16:28,430 --> 00:16:30,930
This is just a misunderstanding.

325
00:16:30,930 --> 00:16:32,770
Rico's not interested in me.

326
00:16:32,770 --> 00:16:35,070
Well, he seemed pretty
into you last night.

327
00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:38,110
Huh, yeah, but that's before she talked.

328
00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:43,080
Come on, we are not
interested in your men at all.

329
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,680
Not at all. I mean, come on.

330
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,820
What's that mean?

331
00:16:47,820 --> 00:16:50,090
You're saying something's
wrong with them?

332
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:53,560
No, she's not saying that it's just...

333
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,360
It's just what?

334
00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,460
We're lovers.

335
00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:06,230
You two are lovers?
'cause you don't seem...

336
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,040
We don't seem what? Gay?

337
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,240
No. Hot enough.

338
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,010
Well...

339
00:17:15,010 --> 00:17:16,910
Not hot at all.

340
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:19,810
I know, right?

341
00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:22,380
Look busy, keep your eyes open.

342
00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:24,390
I think we're in the belly of the beast.

343
00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:26,990
You talkin' about me?

344
00:17:26,990 --> 00:17:29,590
No.

345
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,000
Max, what do you
think's behind that locked door?

346
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,440
I knew it! Toddler slaves.

347
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:44,670
Those kids are in horrible
danger of becoming... me.

348
00:17:44,670 --> 00:17:46,940
Come on, let's go over there.

349
00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:52,650
What the... You hit me!

350
00:17:52,650 --> 00:17:54,850
Sorry, so sorry. Accident!

351
00:17:54,850 --> 00:17:57,190
You throw like a girl.

352
00:17:57,190 --> 00:18:00,360
See, I knew it, you two aren't gay.

353
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,520
Yous are after our guys!

354
00:18:02,530 --> 00:18:04,090
No, I'm not! Rico just thought I was

355
00:18:04,090 --> 00:18:05,460
really, really, really pretty.

356
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,200
Oh, hell no! Leave my lover alone!

357
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,970
Oh!

358
00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:15,470
It's on!

359
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,070
No! No!

360
00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:19,270
It's... no, no, no, no, no! It's not on.

361
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,180
This is silly. We're not after anyone.

362
00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:23,510
We're here to help some of those work...

363
00:18:23,510 --> 00:18:26,820
Oh, yeah. Now, it's on!

364
00:18:28,390 --> 00:18:30,350
Oh! I warn you!

365
00:18:32,390 --> 00:18:35,120
Oh, hell no!

366
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,990
Back off, bitch!

367
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,500
Who you calling bitch, bitch?

368
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:51,270
Honey? You're getting carried away.

369
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:54,840
Now you're really getting carried away.

370
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:56,640
Oh, no! Don't put me in the dryer!

371
00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:58,910
I used to be rich, I'm dry clean only!

372
00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:06,690
Oh! Oh!

373
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:14,300
That was a big friggin' mistake!

374
00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:20,270
Respect.

375
00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:21,600
You two are a lot tougher

376
00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:23,710
than those girls from Saint Bridget's.

377
00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:28,340
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's happening?

378
00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:32,050
We're busting you. We
know what's happening here.

379
00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:35,150
What, profit sharing and healthcare?

380
00:19:35,150 --> 00:19:39,720
We found a note in our box with
"help us" scrawled on it.

381
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,160
How do you explain that?

382
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,060
Did you read the back?

383
00:19:43,060 --> 00:19:44,930
Heh heh heh.

384
00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:47,500
"help us..

385
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,900
"help you...

386
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:53,570
to your full potential
at American Ace""

387
00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:56,500
We put one in every box we ship.

388
00:19:56,510 --> 00:19:57,840
I have got to start reading

389
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,070
more than the first sentence of stuff.

390
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,480
I'm sorry, this is all my fault.

391
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:07,980
I guess I just wanted to believe

392
00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:11,790
some kids were having a
worse childhood than I was.

393
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:14,960
Max, don't feel bad. You
thought someone needed help,

394
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,990
and you cared, and that
makes you a good person,

395
00:20:16,990 --> 00:20:18,460
and I'm proud of you.

396
00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:22,000
I said I was sorry. You
don't have to be mean.

397
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:26,130
Hey, everybody!

398
00:20:26,140 --> 00:20:28,600
I just got my first shipment of wigs.

399
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,240
Sophie, why are you walking like that?

400
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,080
Well, I'm not just the president,

401
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,680
I'm also a client.

402
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,390
Sophie, I think you dropped something,

403
00:20:47,390 --> 00:20:51,330
Unless we have those giant
Persian roaches again.

404
00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:55,600
Even a milky version
of that was too much.

405
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,425
You know, Max, maybe someday,
someone like you

406
00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:08,625
will come into this Salmonella factory
and rescue us.

407
00:21:09,075 --> 00:21:11,650
- What are you writing on those checks?
- "Help us".

408
00:21:13,050 --> 00:21:16,075
We work here.
The "help us" is implied.

409
00:21:18,125 --> 00:21:22,100
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com