24
00:00:03,580 --> 00:00:05,780
Okay, everybody, gather 'round.

25
00:00:05,780 --> 00:00:08,780
Who knew it was "Bring your girlfriend to work" day?

26
00:00:10,650 --> 00:00:12,570
She is not my girlfriend.

27
00:00:12,570 --> 00:00:14,170
Judy is a CPR doll,

28
00:00:14,170 --> 00:00:16,980
and the hardest-working girl in this diner.

29
00:00:17,890 --> 00:00:21,960
Oh, Han, you shouldn't bring your sex doll out in public.

30
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:25,600
This is not my girlfriend or a sex doll!

31
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:27,580
Earl, come over.

32
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:30,230
We're going to use Judy to learn how to resuscitate.

33
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,830
I have a "Do not resuscitate" clause,

34
00:00:32,830 --> 00:00:36,140
as in, I do not resuscitate others.

35
00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:37,390
Oleg.

36
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:38,740
What's up, Han?

37
00:00:38,740 --> 00:00:40,760
Oh, hey, Judy.

38
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:44,670
How do you know Judy?

39
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:48,000
With a torso like that, she gets around.

40
00:00:49,270 --> 00:00:51,260
Okay, I will demonstrate.

41
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:52,740
Oh, no!

42
00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:55,600
Judy's choking on something!

43
00:00:56,310 --> 00:00:59,590
Well, we know it's not you.

44
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,320
First you have to tilt the head back

45
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,340
and clear the airway and blow.

46
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,670
Oh, Max, I think we're witnessing his first kiss.

47
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,830
Fourth, thank you very much.

48
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,570
Han, why are you wasting your time kissing her?

49
00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:17,970
She doesn't have any arms.

50
00:01:17,970 --> 00:01:20,070
Just go for it.

51
00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:41,730
What's up, everybody? Big day today.

52
00:01:41,730 --> 00:01:44,150
Not as big as Christmas, but still marks the arrival

53
00:01:44,150 --> 00:01:47,470
of someone very blessed: me.

54
00:01:47,770 --> 00:01:48,850
Yeah, we get it.

55
00:01:48,850 --> 00:01:49,910
You talk about your birthday more than

56
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,620
Kanye West talks about Kanye West.

58
00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:56,850
Caroline, I thought you would be crying.

59
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,880
Tears on your birthday have become as expected

60
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:02,430
as an ex-Disney star going to rehab.

62
00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:04,180
Why would I be sad?

63
00:02:04,180 --> 00:02:06,840
I have my health, a business that's budding--

64
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,050
Boobs that aren't.

65
00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:12,190
I don't believe in birthdays.

66
00:02:12,190 --> 00:02:14,200
You're only as old as you feel.

67
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,570
Which makes me nothing years old.

68
00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:19,970
Speaking of nothing...

69
00:02:21,030 --> 00:02:23,750
Caroline, are we still on for Two Boots pizza tonight?

70
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:26,800
I'm closing the diner early in honor of your birthday,

71
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,790
and just not because the city has demanded to

72
00:02:28,790 --> 00:02:32,450
look into the black mold situation.

73
00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:33,750
Absolutely, Han.

74
00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:35,640
You can have one slice with two toppings

75
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:37,470
or two slices with one topping,

76
00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:39,010
and my birthday cake is a free flan

77
00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:42,110
'cause I flirted with the dishwasher.

78
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,940
Caroline, sweetheart, if I was you,

79
00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:46,900
I would just put my head through a plate glass window.

80
00:02:49,930 --> 00:02:51,280
Okay, everybody.

81
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,160
I have two announcements, both good news.

82
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,990
First, the guy who found the beak in his sandwich

83
00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:59,210
is not suing,

84
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:03,990
and second, I'm gonna pop the question to Sophie.

85
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,520
Well, you've already popped everything else.

86
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:10,710
What do you think?

87
00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:13,560
They say diamonds are a girl's best friend.

88
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,280
Oh, really?

89
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,300
I thought a girl's best friend

90
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,990
was someone just a little fatter than her.

91
00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:20,600
It was my grandma's from Russia.

92
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,360
I had my cousin Svela swallow it to bring it to America.

93
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:29,080
She passed customs, then she passed this.

94
00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:34,080
Five, six rinses later, boom!

95
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,330
Duty free.

96
00:03:38,230 --> 00:03:42,210
Well, I guess that's better than getting it at Kay.

98
00:03:42,210 --> 00:03:43,870
Is Sophie expecting it?

99
00:03:43,870 --> 00:03:44,800
Of course.

100
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,180
She doesn't like surprises

101
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:48,010
since her family barn was torched

102
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:51,590
by a mentally unstable farmhand.

103
00:03:52,130 --> 00:03:55,040
Hi, I have a delivery for Caroline Channing

104
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,290
from Martin Channing.

105
00:03:56,290 --> 00:03:58,890
Oh, it's a birthday gift from my daddy all the way from prison.

106
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:02,400
Last year, he made me a macaroni art picture frame.

107
00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:05,400
I mean, the man once rented Miami

108
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,630
for a friend's bachelor party.

109
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,900
Hey, that picture frame fed us for two days.

110
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,700
Yeah, well, this thing is not pasta,

111
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:15,870
and it's too big to fit through the door.

112
00:04:15,870 --> 00:04:18,460
And so was I three months ago.

113
00:04:19,010 --> 00:04:20,090
No, really.

114
00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:23,780
My seat on an airplane used to be Row Three.

115
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,650
There it is in the street.

116
00:04:30,650 --> 00:04:32,960
A condom full of hamburger meat?

117
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:33,940
Oh, my God.

118
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,950
Is that a Lamborghini?

119
00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:36,880
Wait.

120
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,410
Is that my Lamborghini?

121
00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:43,000
Yeah, it's a Lamborghini Aventador Roadster.

122
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:48,680
Prison arts and crafts has gotten pretty fancy.

123
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:52,110
Well, it takes four years for these cars to be custom-made.

124
00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:54,040
This one was ordered in 2011.

125
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,850
That's right, my father ordered this for me

126
00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:57,550
when he still had money.

127
00:04:57,550 --> 00:05:00,830
Correction: When he had everyone else's money.

128
00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:05,040
All my father ever gave me was that one iffy chromosome.

129
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,830
Well, here you go.

130
00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:08,310
It's all yours.

131
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:09,980
I'm gonna walk home.

132
00:05:09,980 --> 00:05:12,500
It's all about healthy choices.

133
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:18,600
I got a car!

134
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,510
We got a car!

135
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:35,490
Damn, someone painted the Batmobile white.

136
00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:39,310
Can't we have anything?

137
00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:45,150
That's a $450,000 sports car.

139
00:05:45,150 --> 00:05:45,980
I know.

140
00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:48,220
Add a stackable washer/dryer and a motor home,

141
00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:51,600
and it's like Caroline won the Showcase Showdown.

142
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,190
It goes from 0 to 100 in 2.9 seconds.

143
00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:56,390
And speaking of seconds,

144
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:57,980
I'm getting seconds at Two Boots,

145
00:05:57,980 --> 00:06:01,030
and that rich bitch is paying.

146
00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:04,490
Back off, Tokyo Drift.

148
00:06:07,010 --> 00:06:09,540
This is our getaway car.

149
00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:12,390
And by that, I mean get away from it.

150
00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:15,780
You know, a car like this depreciates 50%

151
00:06:15,780 --> 00:06:18,120
the minute you drive it off the lot.

152
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:22,380
That's why I drive my Toyota Yaris.

153
00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:27,710
Is P. Diddy here?

154
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:31,830
Wait a minute. Is it Ted Turner?

155
00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:33,260
No one cool owns it.

156
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,230
It's Caroline's.

157
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:36,730
Now, this is the kind of car

158
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:40,270
that I would say yes to anything in.

159
00:06:40,270 --> 00:06:45,630
Anything except tickets to Menopause The Musical.

160
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:49,200
Oh, hey, Caroline. Nice car.

161
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,830
I always liked you more than Max.

162
00:06:50,830 --> 00:06:53,870
You know that, right, girl?

163
00:06:53,870 --> 00:06:54,410
Really?

164
00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:56,330
'Cause yesterday, I heard you yell to Max,

165
00:06:56,330 --> 00:06:59,600
"Is Caroline turning 47 or 48?

166
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:03,500
'Cause she acts like she's 65."

167
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,850
Yeah.

168
00:07:05,850 --> 00:07:10,010
Yeah, I wanted to know what to write in your birthday card.

169
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:12,170
Well, everyone away from the car.

170
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,480
I just got off the phone with my dad.

171
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,320
The car is being seized in the morning.

172
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,730
Turns out they won't let me keep my present.

173
00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:19,020
It's just like my eighth birthday

174
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:23,090
when they made me return Macaulay Culkin.

176
00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:30,400
They bought you a boy?

177
00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:33,650
You were rich.

178
00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:37,240
Oh, boy, the car's right here, and you can't even use it.

179
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,910
That's like me having you two for waitresses.

180
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,760
Caroline, can I ask you a favor?

181
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,610
You're not using the car to propose to Sophie.

182
00:07:50,610 --> 00:07:52,570
You heard how much she liked it.

183
00:07:52,570 --> 00:07:55,290
And it's a little bit classier than my original plan:

184
00:07:55,290 --> 00:07:58,830
dinner and a cock fight in Yonkers.

185
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,660
Not that I'm listening,

186
00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:04,830
but I'm not gonna get proposed to at a gay bar.

187
00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:10,010
Great, now my gay bar idea is out also.

188
00:08:10,010 --> 00:08:11,120
No, Oleg.

189
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,090
I can't return the car with scratches, dents,

190
00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:15,600
or chlamydia.

191
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:18,260
But we can still drive it, right?

192
00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:21,320
I mean, I've been on that cream for like a month.

193
00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:28,700
Max, what is the ninth rule of the Lamborghini Club?

194
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:31,200
No red drinks in the car.

195
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,130
Here's my number one rule:

196
00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:34,880
If you're going to make me sleep in it,

197
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,310
I am going to drink in it.

198
00:08:37,310 --> 00:08:38,740
Well, just be careful.

199
00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:40,240
I only have one Clorox wipe

200
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,470
that has to last till my next birthday,

201
00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:45,210
and it's already lost a lot of its moisture.

202
00:08:46,590 --> 00:08:49,860
I don't see why we have to just sit here.

203
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:51,380
We can't drive it.

204
00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:52,850
My dad said if anything happens to it,

205
00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:54,210
we'll be responsible.

206
00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:55,600
What could possibly happen

207
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:59,300
on a weed run to deep Tijuana?

208
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:00,960
You know, I wish this car never came,

209
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,680
and I wish I never sat in it.

210
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,200
It's the same reason I don't go to Barneys.

211
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,140
I don't like to be around things I can't afford anymore.

212
00:09:07,140 --> 00:09:10,190
Same reason I don't go to the 99 Cent Store.

213
00:09:10,190 --> 00:09:11,840
There's a Nerf tennis set

214
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,080
half on the floor, half in the bin,

215
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:17,070
none of it going home with me.

216
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:19,930
I was trying to be positive about my birthday this year,

217
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:22,570
but, Max, if things hadn't happened with my father,

218
00:09:22,570 --> 00:09:24,940
tonight would have been a magical birthday for me.

219
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,470
Hey, there was some magic.

220
00:09:26,470 --> 00:09:30,510
I personally made five vodka Sprites disappear.

221
00:09:30,510 --> 00:09:32,620
Ta-da!

222
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:35,190
I would've got in the car and driven out to the Hamptons,

223
00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:37,070
and we'd sit on the beach all night

224
00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:39,470
having lobster caught by one of the townies

225
00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:42,410
and drink champagne while taking duckface selfies

226
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,370
till the sun came up.

227
00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:49,790
FYI, I'm the townie in this scenario,

228
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,050
and I hate all of you.

229
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:55,290
Instead of doing any of that, I'm having the worst birthday.

230
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:57,070
I probably feel worse than Demi Moore did

232
00:09:57,070 --> 00:10:00,100
when she turned 50.

233
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,230
Yes, just go to sleep.

234
00:10:02,610 --> 00:10:04,990
You'll feel better tomorrow when you wake up.

235
00:10:04,990 --> 00:10:06,760
I mean, if that guy with the switchblade

236
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,880
doesn't come back like he promised he would.

237
00:10:14,930 --> 00:10:16,230
Caroline.

238
00:10:16,870 --> 00:10:18,090
Caroline, wake up.

239
00:10:20,980 --> 00:10:21,760
We're at the beach.

240
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,570
I drove us out to the Hamptons.

241
00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:28,190
Happy birthday!

242
00:10:28,190 --> 00:10:32,140
We're in the Hamptons?

243
00:10:32,610 --> 00:10:36,390
We're in the Hamptons?

244
00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:38,440
How are we in the Hamptons?

245
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,290
How long have I been sleeping?

246
00:10:40,290 --> 00:10:41,940
Three hours, give or take.

247
00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:44,810
You farted twice.

248
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,700
How did I not wake up?

249
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:49,480
I know. It was pretty bad.

250
00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:54,950
After that last one, I thought we were going through Egg Town.

251
00:10:56,710 --> 00:10:58,280
Max, you did it again.

252
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,290
You roofied me, didn't you?

253
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,420
Of course I did.

254
00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:04,810
You were crying and babbling about the Hamptons,

255
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:07,580
so I had to put you down.

256
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:09,280
You promised you wouldn't again.

257
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,700
The last time, I was out for two days.

258
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:14,130
Yeah, I really just needed to get through Game of Thrones

259
00:11:14,130 --> 00:11:18,470
without someone talking during the incest.

260
00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:21,920
What is wrong with you?

261
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,670
Have you got a pen and paper?

262
00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:26,790
You knew I didn't want to do this.

263
00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:30,330
You never want to do anything, so I did it for you.

264
00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:33,580
You took a $450,000 car,

265
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:36,560
a car we're not even supposed to be touching,

266
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,570
on a joyride to the Hamptons?

267
00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:42,720
You wanted to be here.

268
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:43,790
You are here.

269
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,360
Just enjoy it.

270
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:49,080
I can't enjoy it.

271
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,020
Scotty to the bridge.

272
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:52,140
This is Captain Kirk.

273
00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:54,770
Scotty to the bridge.

275
00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:01,210
You drove over the dunes and onto the beach?

276
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,920
Not intentionally.

277
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,050
I tried to stop it, but this car was like,

278
00:12:05,050 --> 00:12:07,030
"Mm, no, girl."

279
00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:10,760
Oh, my God.

280
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,260
Did it get any scratches?

281
00:12:13,260 --> 00:12:17,010
Max, get out of the car, and help me look for scratches.

282
00:12:17,010 --> 00:12:21,330
You said you were more fun in the Hamptons.

283
00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:23,780
Not true.

284
00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:27,930
Mr. Sulu, fire all phasers.

285
00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:31,520
No scratches. The Lamborghini is fine.

286
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:36,030
But thanks to you, I'm a Rent-A-Wreck.

288
00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:39,740
Come on, we have to get this car back.

289
00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:41,700
We will. Jeez, relax.

290
00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:42,700
We still have time.

291
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:45,110
Look, you said you wanted to be here.

292
00:12:45,110 --> 00:12:46,710
You're here, and we are not leaving

293
00:12:46,710 --> 00:12:48,220
till you do something beach-y,

294
00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:50,320
like walk in the water

295
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,270
or find a half-eaten lady from Jaws.

296
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,050
No. No way. Let's go.

297
00:12:57,050 --> 00:12:58,250
Just take off your shoes or something.

298
00:12:58,250 --> 00:12:59,520
No.

299
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,410
Just take off your shoes and feel the sand.

300
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:02,840
Max! Max, stop.

301
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,250
I haven't had a proper pedicure

302
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:07,050
since Justin Timberlake released a single.

304
00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:09,210
There. Now move your foot around.

305
00:13:09,210 --> 00:13:10,360
No.

306
00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:12,490
No. No! No.

307
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,010
Oh, yeah. That feels nice.

308
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,730
The cold sand between my toes.

309
00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:19,560
But, Max, don't look.

310
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,160
That middle nail's a horror show.

311
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,020
Too late.

312
00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:26,430
I thought it was a pistachio for a second.

313
00:13:27,430 --> 00:13:30,230
Max, how much do you love the beach?

314
00:13:30,230 --> 00:13:32,250
I don't know. I've never been to one.

315
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:34,510
You've never been to a beach?

316
00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:35,690
No. What's the point?

317
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,570
I don't own a metal detector.

318
00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:42,310
Well, time's up.

319
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,110
But we just sat down.

320
00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:45,930
I know, but if we leave right now,

321
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:47,280
we'll still have enough time to

322
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,410
blow through a McDonald's drive-through

323
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:51,770
like something from Back to the Future.

324
00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:54,200
Well, I'm gonna write our names in the sand

325
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,980
'cause it was a really nice thing

326
00:13:55,980 --> 00:13:57,540
for you to drug me, kidnap me,

327
00:13:57,540 --> 00:14:00,330
and steal my car to get me out here.

328
00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:02,860
Hey, we're friends.

329
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,730
All right, I'll just turn this baby around.

330
00:14:10,390 --> 00:14:11,630
Uh-oh.

331
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:15,460
What's "Uh-oh"?

332
00:14:16,170 --> 00:14:18,460
What is "Uh-oh"?

333
00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:21,270
Are we stuck in the sand?

334
00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:25,360
You have correctly identified the meaning of "Uh-oh."

335
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,800
I love that we don't need full sentences

336
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,210
to communicate anymore.

337
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,170
Try it again.

338
00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:45,210
Nope.

339
00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:48,870
I've had less trouble getting out of athlete's apartments.

340
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:50,960
Well, you're gonna have to get out and push.

341
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,630
Why do I have to push?

342
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:55,120
Because you're the one who drugged me, kidnapped me,

343
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:56,580
and stole my car.

344
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:57,580
Exactly.

345
00:14:57,580 --> 00:15:00,830
I've already done the lion's share of the work.

346
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:02,710
And it's our car.

347
00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:04,700
Fine, I'll do it.

348
00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:09,380
Door's up, Lieutenant Uhura.

349
00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:13,180
It stopped being funny when we got stuck.

350
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,770
God, don't worry.

351
00:15:14,770 --> 00:15:17,010
I got a 600-pound woman out of a booth

352
00:15:17,010 --> 00:15:20,240
at the diner with my bare hands. I'm fearless.

353
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:24,190
Toss her in neutral like I did with that lady.

354
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:26,560
Sand and heels. Not a good combo.

355
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,510
Not a good combo. Not a good combo.

356
00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:31,660
Oh, all right.

357
00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:33,230
All right.

358
00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:35,760
I'm gonna floor it.

359
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,310
On the count of three.

360
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:39,510
One, two...

361
00:15:48,850 --> 00:15:52,390
I got excited. I went early.

362
00:15:53,170 --> 00:15:54,950
If I had a dime for every time I heard that,

363
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,250
I could buy this car.

364
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:59,220
All right, let's try again.

365
00:15:59,230 --> 00:16:01,220
One, two...

366
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,800
Okay, that was on purpose.

367
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,770
A little bit.

368
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:21,810
I can't believe it.

369
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:23,750
I can't believe that I can't believe it,

370
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:26,040
but I really can't believe it.

371
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:27,660
We are in very big trouble,

372
00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:30,470
and we're not even in the good Hamptons.

373
00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:34,100
I was trying to do something nice.

374
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:37,020
First time, last time.

375
00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:38,680
You know what you are?

376
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:40,930
You are reckless.

377
00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,140
You know, all this time,

378
00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:45,510
I thought you were a ride-or-die kind of bitch.

379
00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:49,570
I am a ride-or-die kind of bitch.

380
00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:53,360
What's a ride-or-die kind of bitch?

381
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,970
Are you Googling "Ride-or-die kind of bitch"?

382
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:02,350
I would be, but I only have two bars.

383
00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:06,170
Look, we have two options:

384
00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:10,480
Get the car out of the sand, or let the tide take us.

385
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:11,960
Put a pin in that tide thing,

386
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,180
'cause I like the sound of it.

387
00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:16,260
We barely have enough time to get this car back to the city,

388
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:19,220
or we owe $450,000.

389
00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:23,480
And I only have $3, and 2 of it's in nickels.

390
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,430
Now get in the car.

391
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:26,610
You're hoarding nickels,

392
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:31,270
and I'm walking out of the 99 Cent Store empty-handed?

393
00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:33,330
Now I'm mad.

394
00:17:34,060 --> 00:17:35,600
Get ready.

395
00:17:36,050 --> 00:17:37,260
What are you doing?

396
00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:40,010
I'm pushing us out of here.

397
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:44,570
Because I'm a ride-or-die kind of bitch!

398
00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:46,720
I think.

399
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,740
Now hit it!

400
00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:02,290
What'd you do? Fart us out of the ditch?

401
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:07,040
Seriously, Caroline, step on it.

402
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:07,980
No, Max.

403
00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:09,990
We can't risk getting into an accident.

404
00:18:09,990 --> 00:18:12,230
What if it's not fatal?

405
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,360
Driving a Lamborghini slow is like going to Red Lobster

406
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,180
and not getting the Cheddar Bay biscuits.

407
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:21,560
Come on, we got to enjoy this car while we can.

408
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:22,810
- Hit the gas. - All right.

409
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,790
I'll take it up to the top of my age dating window.

410
00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:27,130
40.

411
00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:28,990
And I'll take it to the top of mine.

412
00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:30,290
80!

413
00:18:30,290 --> 00:18:31,800
Let go. Have some fun.

414
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,670
No, don't push on my leg!

415
00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:33,640
Don't push on my--

416
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:37,850
Yes! Yes!

417
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,020
Best birthday ever!

418
00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:42,360
Should we Thelma and Louise it?

419
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,380
You mean drive over a cliff?

420
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:47,290
No, I mean wear sunglasses and hold hands.

421
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:48,330
They drive over a cliff?

422
00:18:48,330 --> 00:18:50,280
I never saw the end.

423
00:19:00,730 --> 00:19:01,990
There they are.

424
00:19:01,990 --> 00:19:04,490
Did you girls get the car back in time this morning?

425
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:06,830
Yep, just in time, thanks to Caroline.

426
00:19:06,830 --> 00:19:08,570
She was ignoring speed limit signs

427
00:19:08,570 --> 00:19:11,080
like she does homeless people.

428
00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:13,840
A state trooper called my driving

429
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,930
criminally negligent.

430
00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:18,320
I was so proud.

431
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:19,590
I might've even gotten emotional,

432
00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:21,120
but I had to talk our way out of the ticket,

433
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,990
and I like to be professional when my shirt's off.

434
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,900
You didn't get a ticket?

435
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:31,390
Yesterday, I got arrested for just walking into Whole Foods.

436
00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:33,650
I can't believe I still have sand in my hair.

437
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,870
If the only place you still have sand is in your hair,

438
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,250
you're lucky.

439
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:40,190
I'm about to make a pearl down there.

440
00:19:42,610 --> 00:19:46,460
Oh, hey, there, destitute Barbie.

441
00:19:46,870 --> 00:19:49,010
Sorry you lost the dream car.

442
00:19:49,010 --> 00:19:51,640
Anyway, I'll be in my booth.

443
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:55,810
Sophie, beautiful baby...

444
00:19:56,970 --> 00:20:00,990
I've narrowed down the site of my proposal to three options:

445
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:03,180
A, the place we met...

446
00:20:03,180 --> 00:20:06,690
B, the place we've had sex most often...

447
00:20:07,110 --> 00:20:11,830
or C, the place we've had sex most recently.

448
00:20:11,830 --> 00:20:15,100
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

449
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:20,130
All three of those places are this booth!

450
00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:23,200
That's right.

451
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,970
Sophie Kachinsky...

452
00:20:25,970 --> 00:20:27,810
He's proposing at the diner?

453
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,910
What's he gonna do? Put an onion ring on it?

454
00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,380
I love that.

455
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:49,170
You know, I was planning on saying no

456
00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:53,040
and making you beg for a few hours, but...

457
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,090
I just love you too much.

458
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,940
Aw, that's so not as gross as normal.

459
00:21:11,050 --> 00:21:12,560
Now it is.