1
00:00:01,993 --> 00:00:04,496
Max, did you pick up
the tip from table two?
2
00:00:04,496 --> 00:00:09,067
No, but I'm pretty sure
I picked up a staph infection.
3
00:00:09,067 --> 00:00:13,003
So they literally gave me
their two cents worth.
4
00:00:13,005 --> 00:00:14,305
This is so embarrassing,
5
00:00:14,307 --> 00:00:18,242
even Abe Lincoln won't make eye contact.
6
00:00:18,243 --> 00:00:20,945
Girls, I need you to
do something for me.
7
00:00:20,946 --> 00:00:22,746
You know the rule: nothing for you,
8
00:00:22,748 --> 00:00:26,617
on you, near you, or in us.
9
00:00:26,618 --> 00:00:29,187
I'm going to restroom.
Keep eye on the kitchen.
10
00:00:29,187 --> 00:00:31,623
I have a four-minute egg
and a five-minute date
11
00:00:31,623 --> 00:00:35,524
with the Sports Illustrated
Swimsuit Issue.
12
00:00:38,095 --> 00:00:39,796
Hey, do you see what I see?
13
00:00:39,798 --> 00:00:41,031
A fire?
14
00:00:41,033 --> 00:00:44,100
No, a way out of this job.
15
00:00:45,036 --> 00:00:48,439
Lord Jesus, there's a fire.
16
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,774
You two gonna do anything about that?
17
00:00:50,776 --> 00:00:52,442
'Cause I'm not.
18
00:00:52,444 --> 00:00:56,347
I don't mess with fire or Presbyterians.
19
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:57,747
Fire, fire!
20
00:00:57,749 --> 00:00:59,250
I smell fire!
21
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:01,219
Well, don't just stand there.
Do something!
22
00:01:01,219 --> 00:01:05,055
We are.
23
00:01:05,057 --> 00:01:07,290
S'mores!
24
00:01:07,292 --> 00:01:10,561
You'd think you want this
place to burn to the ground.
25
00:01:10,561 --> 00:01:12,930
You'd think that.
26
00:01:12,930 --> 00:01:14,432
Caroline, do something.
27
00:01:14,432 --> 00:01:17,466
I'm on it. Chocolate?
28
00:01:21,906 --> 00:01:23,540
(Caroline) Han, not too close.
29
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,742
You know you can never get
the smell of Korean barbecue
30
00:01:25,743 --> 00:01:27,743
out of your clothes.
31
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:32,347
[shouting]
32
00:01:34,218 --> 00:01:36,019
[shouts weakly]
33
00:01:37,820 --> 00:01:39,323
Either he put the fire out,
34
00:01:39,323 --> 00:01:42,091
or that little robot just had an orgasm.
35
00:01:43,627 --> 00:01:45,962
(Peter Bjorn and John)
♪ Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh ♪
36
00:01:45,963 --> 00:01:47,331
[cash register bell dings]
37
00:01:47,331 --> 00:01:51,433
♪ Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh ♪
38
00:01:51,689 --> 00:01:55,640
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
39
00:02:00,170 --> 00:02:02,406
Welcome to The High dessert bar.
40
00:02:02,406 --> 00:02:05,308
I'm the hostess slash quasi-manager.
41
00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:07,911
First day in, got a huge promosh.
42
00:02:07,912 --> 00:02:09,013
I hate to brag,
43
00:02:09,014 --> 00:02:11,213
but the word “dazzling” was used.
44
00:02:13,082 --> 00:02:15,853
Yeah, by you.
45
00:02:15,853 --> 00:02:18,989
Little to no power has
really gone to your head.
46
00:02:18,990 --> 00:02:20,424
It has.
47
00:02:20,425 --> 00:02:24,026
She's like the Putin of pastry.
48
00:02:24,027 --> 00:02:25,429
But doesn't it feel good
49
00:02:25,430 --> 00:02:27,598
to not just be working at the diner?
50
00:02:27,598 --> 00:02:31,168
I haven't slipped on one
used baby diaper all day.
51
00:02:31,169 --> 00:02:33,903
Speaking of babies,
52
00:02:33,905 --> 00:02:36,564
look, there's Han.
53
00:02:41,645 --> 00:02:43,246
That's, like, the third time
54
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,081
I caught him spying on us.
55
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:48,350
Why would he stalk two
of his worst employees?
56
00:02:48,352 --> 00:02:49,451
I know.
57
00:02:49,453 --> 00:02:50,753
It's like Where's Waldo?
58
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,889
when you don't want to find Waldo.
59
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:57,026
Not seeing a hostess up in here.
60
00:02:57,027 --> 00:02:59,295
She meant quasi-manager.
61
00:02:59,296 --> 00:03:01,197
If Marty Scorsese walks in here,
62
00:03:01,198 --> 00:03:02,465
do you want him to seat himself?
63
00:03:02,466 --> 00:03:05,435
He'll be lost. Lost.
64
00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:07,670
Sorry, Joe, I was just
over there giving Max...
65
00:03:07,671 --> 00:03:09,671
Honey, I'll download an audiobook
66
00:03:09,673 --> 00:03:12,675
if I want to hear a story.
67
00:03:12,675 --> 00:03:14,310
I want you to meet someone.
68
00:03:14,311 --> 00:03:16,712
Me too, and I'm sure I will
when the time is right
69
00:03:16,713 --> 00:03:19,382
and I'm open to it.
70
00:03:19,383 --> 00:03:21,183
Kind of focusing on me right now.
71
00:03:21,185 --> 00:03:23,286
Stop.
72
00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:25,622
Learn to read faces.
73
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,090
I'm not talking about you.
74
00:03:27,091 --> 00:03:29,425
I'm talking about him.
75
00:03:29,425 --> 00:03:31,693
[with Irish accent] Hello,
pleasure to meet you.
76
00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:32,762
I'm Nashit.
77
00:03:32,763 --> 00:03:34,463
Nashit's an Indian name,
78
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:36,632
and isn't that an Irish accent I detect?
79
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,134
Or have I just lost consciousness
80
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,402
from how white your teeth are?
81
00:03:40,403 --> 00:03:41,737
Yes, it is.
82
00:03:41,739 --> 00:03:43,973
My father's Indian. My mother's Irish.
83
00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:45,307
He's Irish. He's Indian.
84
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,808
He's East meets West.
85
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,144
He's everything
86
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:51,980
in a hot Irish coffee, boy band package.
87
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:53,983
I found him on the street
88
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,819
next to a dirty chair.
89
00:03:56,819 --> 00:04:00,122
Hi, I'm Caroline, the hostess
slash quasi-manager
90
00:04:00,122 --> 00:04:01,223
at The High.
91
00:04:01,223 --> 00:04:03,125
Are you high?
92
00:04:03,126 --> 00:04:05,561
'Cause that was a lot of talking.
93
00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:08,229
Who is this, and where can I get one?
94
00:04:08,230 --> 00:04:10,598
This is Nashit, our new waiter.
95
00:04:10,599 --> 00:04:12,001
Oh, it's lovely to meet you.
96
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,134
[gasps]
97
00:04:13,135 --> 00:04:17,072
Can you say “magically delicious”?
98
00:04:17,074 --> 00:04:19,542
I really want Nashit to work out.
99
00:04:19,543 --> 00:04:22,745
I like it when good-looking
people succeed.
100
00:04:22,745 --> 00:04:25,247
Well, I guess that's good news for me.
101
00:04:25,247 --> 00:04:27,348
Is it?
102
00:04:29,851 --> 00:04:31,487
Hi, honey.
103
00:04:31,487 --> 00:04:32,987
(Joe) Have you met the new waiter?
104
00:04:32,988 --> 00:04:36,158
I love him. He's my favorite.
105
00:04:36,158 --> 00:04:40,093
If I did men, he would've
been done by now.
106
00:04:41,663 --> 00:04:44,632
Hmm, so you think you're pretty.
107
00:04:44,634 --> 00:04:46,766
Well, I do too.
108
00:04:48,036 --> 00:04:49,704
Okay, Nashit, pay attention.
109
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,740
These are the tables.
This is the dessert bar.
110
00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:55,877
And these are my boobs.
111
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:58,379
Max, be professional.
112
00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:01,115
These are my boobs, sir.
113
00:05:01,117 --> 00:05:03,252
Please, I have to make him a waiter.
114
00:05:03,252 --> 00:05:05,420
Fine, you make him a waiter,
115
00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:07,954
and I'll just make him later.
116
00:05:13,127 --> 00:05:16,697
Here you go. This isn't yours, is it?
117
00:05:16,699 --> 00:05:19,468
No, because they already have dessert.
118
00:05:19,468 --> 00:05:21,702
Damn it.
119
00:05:21,704 --> 00:05:24,004
You asked for water, like,
an hour ago, didn't you?
120
00:05:24,005 --> 00:05:25,372
I'm so sorry.
121
00:05:25,374 --> 00:05:28,276
Oh, don't you worry those lips.
122
00:05:28,276 --> 00:05:33,014
And what's an hour when we have
our whole lives ahead of us?
123
00:05:33,014 --> 00:05:35,115
Max, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
124
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,518
I stink as a waiter.
125
00:05:36,519 --> 00:05:38,386
This is desperate.
126
00:05:38,387 --> 00:05:42,055
Well, desperate times
call for us making out.
127
00:05:43,057 --> 00:05:45,293
Hey, I have a question for you.
128
00:05:45,293 --> 00:05:47,362
Your skin is so creamy and white.
129
00:05:47,362 --> 00:05:49,064
You must have a little Irish in you.
130
00:05:49,064 --> 00:05:53,168
I've had a lot of little Irishes in me.
131
00:05:53,168 --> 00:05:55,235
That's meant to be dirty, right?
132
00:05:55,237 --> 00:05:58,740
Well, I just mean that I think
you're quite beautiful.
133
00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:03,076
Oh, well, then I just
mean we're doing it.
134
00:06:03,077 --> 00:06:04,612
I did not think there was somebody
135
00:06:04,612 --> 00:06:06,947
who had a prettier nose
or was worse than me
136
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:09,083
waiting tables, but here we are.
137
00:06:09,084 --> 00:06:11,985
Nashit, there's not a fork
in the mix out there.
138
00:06:11,987 --> 00:06:15,255
Now, get out there and fork those women.
139
00:06:15,257 --> 00:06:16,391
Take it easy on him.
140
00:06:16,391 --> 00:06:17,824
I don't want him to be all forked out
141
00:06:17,826 --> 00:06:20,127
by the time he gets to me.
142
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:22,797
I'm gonna have so much sex
on my bed with Nashit
143
00:06:22,798 --> 00:06:24,966
that I'm gonna need a new sheet.
144
00:06:24,966 --> 00:06:26,968
Aren't you too old for him?
145
00:06:26,968 --> 00:06:30,737
Yeah, but that test said mentally I'm 14,
146
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:33,341
so we can totally do it.
147
00:06:33,341 --> 00:06:35,375
Well, I'm off to Chinatown
to have someone
148
00:06:35,377 --> 00:06:37,144
put needles in me.
149
00:06:37,144 --> 00:06:39,247
Oh, my God. I love your coat.
150
00:06:39,247 --> 00:06:40,447
You look gorgeous.
151
00:06:40,449 --> 00:06:42,649
I mean, the way it flows.
152
00:06:42,651 --> 00:06:45,920
Okay, so I can see you're a kiss-ass,
153
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:46,954
so here's the thing.
154
00:06:46,954 --> 00:06:48,656
As my quasi-manager,
155
00:06:48,656 --> 00:06:51,591
or whatever nonsense
you're telling people,
156
00:06:51,593 --> 00:06:54,762
I need you to tell Max
and Nashit to cool it.
157
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,797
There are no hookups here at The High.
158
00:06:56,798 --> 00:06:58,966
Done, and we can stop staying “quas”"
159
00:06:58,966 --> 00:07:00,867
if we're both on board
with the manager thing.
160
00:07:00,869 --> 00:07:03,170
We're not.
161
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:04,838
The High is about fine pastry,
162
00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:06,906
not someone's sordid love life.
163
00:07:06,908 --> 00:07:09,209
And in an ironic twist,
I need you to kick
164
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:11,045
my girlfriend's hot ass out of here
165
00:07:11,045 --> 00:07:13,379
if she comes in.
166
00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:14,882
Here's $100.
167
00:07:14,882 --> 00:07:16,016
That's $100.
168
00:07:16,016 --> 00:07:18,718
Consider her hot ass out the door.
169
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,387
We're in a fight.
170
00:07:20,387 --> 00:07:22,221
She got drunk, stole my Black Card,
171
00:07:22,223 --> 00:07:25,192
and bought 90 people soup
at Barney Greengrass,
172
00:07:25,192 --> 00:07:28,327
and the soup isn't even good there.
173
00:07:28,329 --> 00:07:31,632
Do not take this as a no,
because I want the money,
174
00:07:31,632 --> 00:07:33,567
but why can't you
just tell her yourself?
175
00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:34,935
I can't tell her myself.
176
00:07:34,935 --> 00:07:37,103
She's younger than me,
and everyone knows
177
00:07:37,105 --> 00:07:39,904
the mommy thing just isn't sexy.
178
00:07:42,776 --> 00:07:45,778
Make sure she eats something
and gets home safe.
179
00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:49,316
Caroline, I have a question for you.
180
00:07:49,317 --> 00:07:51,451
What do I do with the
notes the women give me?
181
00:07:51,451 --> 00:07:53,086
You've gotten notes?
182
00:07:53,086 --> 00:07:54,120
Just a few.
183
00:07:54,122 --> 00:07:56,389
[gasps]
184
00:07:56,391 --> 00:07:59,259
How could women be this desperate?
185
00:07:59,259 --> 00:08:01,528
Max, this one's from you.
186
00:08:01,528 --> 00:08:03,762
They're mostly all from me,
187
00:08:03,764 --> 00:08:05,264
except the business card.
188
00:08:05,266 --> 00:08:06,632
I don't need no damn card
189
00:08:06,634 --> 00:08:08,935
to let him know I'm all business.
190
00:08:08,935 --> 00:08:11,805
Max, Joe just told me there
are no hookups at The High,
191
00:08:11,805 --> 00:08:14,807
and judging from this very
detailed picture you drew,
192
00:08:14,809 --> 00:08:16,408
that's exactly what you're planning.
193
00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:19,411
Oh, I was planning more.
I just ran out of paper.
194
00:08:19,413 --> 00:08:20,947
We can't lose these jobs.
195
00:08:20,947 --> 00:08:23,783
I have two $100 bills,
and I'm this close
196
00:08:23,783 --> 00:08:26,151
to pulling the trigger on
an Amazon Prime account.
197
00:08:26,153 --> 00:08:27,586
Amazon Prime?
198
00:08:27,588 --> 00:08:29,887
You have been driven mad with power.
199
00:08:37,875 --> 00:08:39,977
Fresh, flakey pastry.
200
00:08:39,979 --> 00:08:41,312
And speaking of flakes,
201
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:44,182
there's Joe's flakey girlfriend.
202
00:08:44,182 --> 00:08:47,818
Can someone help me get
my chair off my coat?
203
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:49,419
How did she get in here?
204
00:08:49,421 --> 00:08:52,657
Probably floated in
on a cloud of Valium.
205
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:55,793
It's go time, as in she's got to go.
206
00:08:55,793 --> 00:08:58,395
You have a better chance
moving an actual train wreck,
207
00:08:58,397 --> 00:08:59,864
but good luck.
208
00:08:59,865 --> 00:09:03,433
- Allie, hi, you...
- Shh.
209
00:09:03,434 --> 00:09:06,537
[whispering] Allie, hi.
210
00:09:06,538 --> 00:09:08,505
- You need...
- Sorry.
211
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,607
But I am hungover, and
I have a headache.
212
00:09:10,609 --> 00:09:13,344
Could I get a latte with a side of weed?
213
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,346
No, because this isn't Amsterdam
214
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,414
or Bill Maher's house.
215
00:09:17,416 --> 00:09:18,883
Now, you need to leave.
216
00:09:18,884 --> 00:09:20,418
You know Joe doesn't want you in here.
217
00:09:20,418 --> 00:09:21,451
Well, I'm not leaving.
218
00:09:21,452 --> 00:09:22,787
My legs won't move
219
00:09:22,788 --> 00:09:25,188
because my muscle
relaxers just kicked in.
220
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,291
John, can you do me a favor?
221
00:09:27,292 --> 00:09:28,625
Walk Allie outside,
222
00:09:28,626 --> 00:09:30,293
and by that, I mean pick her up
223
00:09:30,294 --> 00:09:31,861
and carry her outside.
224
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,898
I went to pastry school.
225
00:09:33,899 --> 00:09:37,701
I'm not Shrek.
226
00:09:37,701 --> 00:09:40,504
Of course not. You're much more Fiona.
227
00:09:40,504 --> 00:09:42,072
Girl, that's good.
228
00:09:42,072 --> 00:09:44,673
I was gonna say the donkey,
'cause I have a fine ass.
229
00:09:47,577 --> 00:09:50,346
(Allie) Okay, fine.
230
00:09:50,347 --> 00:09:54,783
Driver, two stops. Barney's and Fro-Yo.
231
00:10:00,289 --> 00:10:02,392
(Max) Earl, we're late again.
Did you keep us alive?
232
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:06,129
Max, I can barely keep myself alive.
233
00:10:06,129 --> 00:10:08,432
This morning, I had to
jump-start my heart
234
00:10:08,432 --> 00:10:10,333
by putting my finger in the socket
235
00:10:10,335 --> 00:10:12,534
Tom and Jerry style.
236
00:10:13,937 --> 00:10:15,572
Oh, hello.
237
00:10:15,572 --> 00:10:17,506
So what did you girls do today?
238
00:10:17,508 --> 00:10:21,077
I haven't seen you since
right here last night.
239
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:22,613
Oh, really, Han?
240
00:10:22,614 --> 00:10:24,914
'Cause I swear I saw you lurking around
241
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,216
outside The High.
242
00:10:26,216 --> 00:10:27,417
It was either you,
243
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:31,554
or Pikachu is visiting New York.
244
00:10:31,556 --> 00:10:33,423
That one barely grazed me,
245
00:10:33,423 --> 00:10:34,457
because I'm Korean,
246
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,826
and Pikachu is Japanese.
247
00:10:36,827 --> 00:10:40,796
You don't know anything about Pokemon.
248
00:10:41,898 --> 00:10:44,366
Han, you may not be Japanese,
249
00:10:44,368 --> 00:10:46,036
but in the future, you're definitely
250
00:10:46,037 --> 00:10:49,405
gonna be poked by a Mon.
251
00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:51,040
And it was you.
252
00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:52,408
No, it was not.
253
00:10:52,409 --> 00:10:53,777
- Yeah, it was.
- Wasn't.
254
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,010
- Was.
- Wasn't.
255
00:10:55,011 --> 00:10:57,547
- Wasn't.
- Was... wasn't.
256
00:10:57,548 --> 00:11:00,015
English is my second language.
257
00:11:00,017 --> 00:11:01,717
Admit it, you're jealous
258
00:11:01,719 --> 00:11:03,952
we're spending time
with another restaurant.
259
00:11:03,953 --> 00:11:05,554
I am not jealous.
260
00:11:05,556 --> 00:11:06,722
- Are so.
- Am not.
261
00:11:06,724 --> 00:11:08,091
- Am not.
- Are so... not.
262
00:11:08,091 --> 00:11:09,890
Oh, my God!
263
00:11:12,662 --> 00:11:14,730
Caroline, what the hell are you doing?
264
00:11:14,731 --> 00:11:16,698
I'm smelling a $100 bill.
265
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:18,333
It's from my other restaurant.
266
00:11:18,335 --> 00:11:20,168
It buys me nice things.
267
00:11:20,169 --> 00:11:22,004
Jealous?
268
00:11:22,005 --> 00:11:25,240
I took you in when you had no one.
269
00:11:27,243 --> 00:11:29,177
Hi, can you help me?
270
00:11:29,178 --> 00:11:30,980
I'm looking for Max.
271
00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:35,618
Why, hello. Is it too late to be gay?
272
00:11:35,619 --> 00:11:37,419
Nashit?
273
00:11:37,421 --> 00:11:39,621
Oh, my God, he even looks good here
274
00:11:39,623 --> 00:11:41,756
in morgue light.
275
00:11:41,758 --> 00:11:43,592
We are so doing it.
276
00:11:43,594 --> 00:11:45,794
Caroline, you left your
phone on the table
277
00:11:45,796 --> 00:11:47,230
at the restaurant.
278
00:11:47,230 --> 00:11:49,698
I confess, I used it as an excuse
279
00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:51,399
to come and see Max.
280
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,601
This isn't mine. It's
Joe's girlfriend's.
281
00:11:53,602 --> 00:11:54,937
I don't have an iPhone 6.
282
00:11:54,937 --> 00:11:57,205
I have an iPhone sick.
283
00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:03,977
D-O-I-N-G it!
284
00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:07,249
Max, why is Nashit here?
285
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:11,320
Because God owes me.
286
00:12:11,321 --> 00:12:13,755
You can't seriously be into him.
287
00:12:13,756 --> 00:12:15,658
He looks like someone in a boy band.
288
00:12:15,658 --> 00:12:19,661
Yeah, and he's going one direction...
289
00:12:22,163 --> 00:12:24,932
Down there.
290
00:12:24,933 --> 00:12:26,701
But if you sleep with him,
291
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:29,071
then Nashit is gonna hit the fan.
292
00:12:29,072 --> 00:12:31,307
How do you know you even like him?
293
00:12:31,307 --> 00:12:35,275
You know what I like?
That we're doing it.
294
00:12:36,378 --> 00:12:38,178
Hey, everybody!
295
00:12:39,881 --> 00:12:41,316
I just got hit by a cab,
296
00:12:41,317 --> 00:12:46,321
and, boy, am I in the
mood for crab legs.
297
00:12:46,322 --> 00:12:48,322
The thing about you, baby...
298
00:12:48,323 --> 00:12:51,326
you bounce back from a good pounding
299
00:12:51,326 --> 00:12:54,327
every single night.
300
00:12:56,597 --> 00:13:00,668
Wait a minute.
301
00:13:00,669 --> 00:13:03,772
That's my booth.
302
00:13:03,773 --> 00:13:06,005
Oh, it's lovely to meet you.
303
00:13:07,009 --> 00:13:10,345
What?
304
00:13:10,346 --> 00:13:13,815
What the hell kind of accent is that?
305
00:13:13,816 --> 00:13:15,750
I'm from Ireland.
306
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,317
What?
307
00:13:19,053 --> 00:13:20,621
Max, you are not doing it.
308
00:13:20,623 --> 00:13:21,623
- Are.
- Not.
309
00:13:21,624 --> 00:13:22,923
- Are.
- Not.
310
00:13:22,924 --> 00:13:25,927
- Not.
- Please, I went to Wharton.
311
00:13:25,927 --> 00:13:28,529
Look, we should go to
your place when we do it
312
00:13:28,530 --> 00:13:31,399
so that Caroline won't be
there while we're doing it.
313
00:13:31,399 --> 00:13:35,503
Lovely, but I just came
to America two days ago.
314
00:13:35,504 --> 00:13:37,205
I have no place to go.
315
00:13:37,206 --> 00:13:39,606
In fact, I've been sleeping
on that dirty chair
316
00:13:39,607 --> 00:13:42,976
Joe spoke of.
317
00:13:42,977 --> 00:13:46,914
What?
318
00:13:46,915 --> 00:13:49,816
Is he singing?
319
00:13:51,219 --> 00:13:52,519
Oh, my God.
320
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,056
He's gorgeous and homeless?
321
00:13:55,057 --> 00:13:57,524
That's your dream guy.
322
00:13:57,525 --> 00:13:59,926
We are so doing it!
323
00:14:05,732 --> 00:14:07,769
Ugh, this is impossible.
324
00:14:07,769 --> 00:14:12,172
I feel like I'm putting an
Oscar dress on Precious.
325
00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:17,611
I'm making up the couch for Nashit.
326
00:14:17,613 --> 00:14:19,312
That is so nice of you.
327
00:14:19,313 --> 00:14:21,315
He's gonna need a place
to crash after we have sex.
328
00:14:21,316 --> 00:14:23,150
No, that's off the table.
329
00:14:23,152 --> 00:14:25,318
I can't believe you
invited him to stay here.
330
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,953
And I can't believe you refused
331
00:14:26,955 --> 00:14:31,359
to sleep at Starbucks tonight
to give us some privacy.
332
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:35,062
I mean, you like Nora Jones.
333
00:14:35,062 --> 00:14:38,364
[whistling]
334
00:14:39,332 --> 00:14:41,902
Max likey.
335
00:14:41,903 --> 00:14:45,306
- Max, listen.
- No, you listen.
336
00:14:45,307 --> 00:14:50,644
I can't afford candy,
so he has got to be it.
337
00:14:50,644 --> 00:14:52,245
Thanks for the shower.
338
00:14:52,246 --> 00:14:55,715
Oh, no, his muscles point to his penis.
339
00:15:03,072 --> 00:15:05,374
[knock at door]
340
00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:07,309
Max, stop with the banging.
341
00:15:07,311 --> 00:15:12,014
I'm not letting you out
while you're still in heat.
342
00:15:12,014 --> 00:15:13,381
(Max) It's not me.
343
00:15:13,383 --> 00:15:17,052
I'm making a list of ways to kill you!
344
00:15:18,653 --> 00:15:21,157
I feel like I'm being a bother,
345
00:15:21,158 --> 00:15:25,094
and I think I'm sleeping on a bong.
346
00:15:25,095 --> 00:15:26,195
[knock at door]
347
00:15:26,196 --> 00:15:27,495
(Joe) Open up.
348
00:15:27,496 --> 00:15:29,197
I know what's going on in there.
349
00:15:29,198 --> 00:15:30,466
(Caroline) Oh, my God.
350
00:15:30,466 --> 00:15:32,168
That's Joe.
351
00:15:32,168 --> 00:15:34,235
She must've found out about
you and Max hooking up.
352
00:15:34,236 --> 00:15:35,471
(Nashit) Oh, no.
353
00:15:35,471 --> 00:15:37,239
Max, Joe is here.
354
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,573
You need to do that thing you do
355
00:15:38,575 --> 00:15:39,975
to scare people out of the hallway.
356
00:15:39,975 --> 00:15:41,309
What do we think, guard dog
357
00:15:41,311 --> 00:15:43,011
or little old lady with poor eyesight
358
00:15:43,013 --> 00:15:44,245
and loaded gun?
359
00:15:44,246 --> 00:15:46,981
[Max imitating dog barking]
360
00:15:46,982 --> 00:15:48,250
Fine, I'm going.
361
00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:50,653
This is why I never leave Manhattan.
362
00:15:50,653 --> 00:15:52,788
Hey, you need to get
in the girls' apartment?
363
00:15:52,788 --> 00:15:54,556
I have a key.
364
00:15:54,557 --> 00:15:56,625
Find it here in my big bag.
365
00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:58,760
I know it's in here somewhere.
366
00:15:58,761 --> 00:16:01,429
Well, I got the lip balm.
367
00:16:01,431 --> 00:16:04,500
I got... Oh, look, I got the Holy Bible.
368
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,033
I got...
369
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:11,139
Oh, look. Oh, the DirecTV remote.
370
00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:14,109
Oh, my God, I'm losing estrogen.
371
00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:16,695
Max, you and Nashit
go hide in your room,
372
00:16:16,696 --> 00:16:19,063
but no sex.
373
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:20,465
You heard her, no sex,
374
00:16:20,466 --> 00:16:22,400
so everything but,
and I mean everything,
375
00:16:22,402 --> 00:16:23,900
and I mean but.
376
00:16:25,470 --> 00:16:26,904
Oh, here it is. It's right...
377
00:16:26,905 --> 00:16:30,874
It was right under the
cold cuts the whole time.
378
00:16:33,077 --> 00:16:34,578
(Joe) Caroline.
379
00:16:34,580 --> 00:16:36,447
Hey. Hi, Joe.
380
00:16:36,448 --> 00:16:41,052
Oh!
381
00:16:41,052 --> 00:16:42,687
Yeah.
382
00:16:42,687 --> 00:16:44,688
Ha!
383
00:16:44,690 --> 00:16:49,360
Yeah, the shorter hair makes sense now.
384
00:16:49,361 --> 00:16:50,894
(Sophie) Yeah.
385
00:16:50,895 --> 00:16:53,965
Good for you, Caroline.
386
00:16:53,966 --> 00:16:57,567
I hope you like long, boring stories.
387
00:16:58,769 --> 00:17:01,840
Okay, where's Allie? I know she's here.
388
00:17:01,841 --> 00:17:04,075
I put a spy app on her phone,
389
00:17:04,076 --> 00:17:08,046
and I'm not proud of it,
but I'm a jealous woman.
390
00:17:08,047 --> 00:17:11,048
Oh, her phone. I have it.
391
00:17:11,049 --> 00:17:13,585
She left it at The High when
I threw her ass out today
392
00:17:13,586 --> 00:17:15,385
per your instructions.
393
00:17:15,386 --> 00:17:16,820
I don't know how I thought this thing
394
00:17:16,821 --> 00:17:18,522
was gonna work out to begin with.
395
00:17:18,523 --> 00:17:19,923
We met at Coachella.
396
00:17:19,924 --> 00:17:23,461
We were both on Molly,
this intensely hot
397
00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:27,498
Filipino girl.
398
00:17:27,499 --> 00:17:29,733
- Shh, shh.
- I'm hearing sexual sounds.
399
00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:34,939
And hints of secret shame
coming from the bedroom.
400
00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:37,442
- Allie is here.
- No, no one's here.
401
00:17:37,442 --> 00:17:39,210
That's just our white noise machine.
402
00:17:39,211 --> 00:17:41,545
I'm shocked. You're not even her type.
403
00:17:41,546 --> 00:17:44,314
Your lips are like two flair-pen marks.
404
00:17:47,018 --> 00:17:49,487
[Nashit laughs]
405
00:17:49,488 --> 00:17:53,223
That's hot.
406
00:17:53,224 --> 00:17:55,759
Please don't fire Nashit!
407
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,628
The Dr. Seuss hats were my idea.
408
00:17:58,630 --> 00:18:03,134
We were playing Hop on Pop.
409
00:18:03,134 --> 00:18:05,536
I was Pop.
410
00:18:05,537 --> 00:18:07,570
I didn't even know
there was a boy in there.
411
00:18:07,571 --> 00:18:09,839
I only saw you.
412
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,410
Okay, since there are
no hookups at The High,
413
00:18:13,411 --> 00:18:16,547
if you don't stop sleeping
with him immediately,
414
00:18:16,548 --> 00:18:17,914
my new manager...
415
00:18:17,915 --> 00:18:19,148
[clicks tongue]
416
00:18:19,150 --> 00:18:21,384
Caroline here is gonna have to kick
417
00:18:21,385 --> 00:18:23,487
his beautiful butt to the curb.
418
00:18:23,488 --> 00:18:28,125
But I was mid-doing-it!
419
00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:31,795
Honey, there's a real
funky smell in here.
420
00:18:31,796 --> 00:18:33,463
I got to get out of here.
421
00:18:33,464 --> 00:18:37,401
PS, this is where you live?
422
00:18:37,402 --> 00:18:39,669
Take another $100.
423
00:18:46,009 --> 00:18:47,144
Earl, hi.
424
00:18:47,144 --> 00:18:48,711
What kind of mood is Max in?
425
00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,279
Pretty good.
426
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,982
On the Max scale, she's
below slightly drunk
427
00:18:52,983 --> 00:18:56,319
but above punching a customer out.
428
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:57,586
Oh, good.
429
00:18:57,587 --> 00:18:58,954
I was worried she'd be mad at me
430
00:18:58,955 --> 00:19:00,691
'cause I had to get rid of her boy toy.
431
00:19:00,692 --> 00:19:03,125
Caroline, I'd put my
hearing aids back in
432
00:19:03,126 --> 00:19:05,861
if I wanted to hear a story.
433
00:19:07,064 --> 00:19:09,031
Guess what I have for you in my purse.
434
00:19:09,032 --> 00:19:11,134
The tampon I asked for last week?
435
00:19:11,134 --> 00:19:13,470
No, and again, so sorry about that.
436
00:19:13,471 --> 00:19:16,306
Really dropped that ball.
437
00:19:16,307 --> 00:19:17,740
Gummy worms.
438
00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,643
Yes, I took away your man candy,
439
00:19:19,644 --> 00:19:22,211
but I got you these, the
hot ones that you like
440
00:19:22,212 --> 00:19:24,748
from the good candy store
with the sneeze guards.
441
00:19:24,749 --> 00:19:25,714
[gasps]
442
00:19:25,715 --> 00:19:27,017
Fancy.
443
00:19:27,018 --> 00:19:28,317
And don't worry about Nashit.
444
00:19:28,318 --> 00:19:30,553
I got him another job.
445
00:19:30,554 --> 00:19:32,388
Hot worm!
446
00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:36,226
Clean glasses coming through.
447
00:19:36,227 --> 00:19:37,594
Nice rack.
448
00:19:37,595 --> 00:19:41,730
Now I know why guys
like saying that to me.
449
00:19:41,731 --> 00:19:42,999
There he is!
450
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,134
There's the new employee.
451
00:19:45,135 --> 00:19:47,302
(Caroline) Han, I can't believe
you would hire someone
452
00:19:47,304 --> 00:19:49,172
just 'cause Max asked you to.
453
00:19:49,173 --> 00:19:51,473
This has nothing to do with Max or you.
454
00:19:51,474 --> 00:19:53,076
The boy here said something to me
455
00:19:53,076 --> 00:19:54,978
that you two couldn't understand.
456
00:19:54,979 --> 00:19:56,211
What's that, sir?
457
00:19:56,212 --> 00:19:57,413
That I was a hard worker?
458
00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:59,281
That's it! Yes!
459
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:00,750
Manna from heaven.
460
00:20:00,750 --> 00:20:03,786
I actually have an employee who works.
461
00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:05,287
Jealous?
462
00:20:06,521 --> 00:20:08,257
Now, this job, I can do.
463
00:20:08,258 --> 00:20:10,358
You know, growing up, I had
five brothers and sisters,
464
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,194
and since I was the least attractive,
465
00:20:12,195 --> 00:20:14,363
I had to clean all the dishes.
466
00:20:14,364 --> 00:20:16,365
Meet you in the dish room, Nashit.
467
00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:17,799
Max, what are you doing?
468
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,902
There may not be hookups at The High,
469
00:20:19,903 --> 00:20:23,105
but there are hookups
here at our lowest low,
470
00:20:23,105 --> 00:20:24,873
and we are doing it.
471
00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:30,444
Caroline likey.
472
00:20:35,186 --> 00:20:43,118
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.