1
00:00:03,780 --> 00:00:06,439
Earl, I told you to mop the entrance.
2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,899
That floor is dirtier than Bob Saget
3
00:00:08,900 --> 00:00:12,149
at a Comedy Central roast.
4
00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:16,609
You know what it sounds
like you need, cranky lady?
5
00:00:16,610 --> 00:00:20,069
A Midol and a Dove bar.
6
00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:21,899
You watch it, too, Oleg.
7
00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:24,290
Like Earl's hip, you can be replaced.
8
00:00:27,190 --> 00:00:31,069
Have you noticed since Max
and Caroline have been away,
9
00:00:31,070 --> 00:00:34,109
Han is getting a little
big for his bitches?
10
00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:37,149
Did I say bitches?
11
00:00:37,150 --> 00:00:40,189
'Cause I meant to.
12
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:42,359
I will not be bossed around by someone
13
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,163
40 years younger than me.
14
00:00:44,164 --> 00:00:46,184
He is not my second wife.
15
00:00:49,203 --> 00:00:53,502
I am calling diner security.
16
00:00:55,453 --> 00:00:56,872
What's up, Earl?
17
00:00:56,873 --> 00:00:59,502
I mean, besides your blood pressure.
18
00:00:59,503 --> 00:01:01,292
When are you coming back?
19
00:01:01,293 --> 00:01:03,162
We're coming back tomorrow night.
20
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:05,003
Caroline's about to
sign the movie contract,
21
00:01:05,004 --> 00:01:08,104
which means I don't have
to come home UPS Ground.
22
00:01:10,373 --> 00:01:11,836
Are you on the phone with the diner?
23
00:01:11,837 --> 00:01:13,702
I feel like I can smell it.
24
00:01:13,703 --> 00:01:15,292
I don't think any of us
25
00:01:15,293 --> 00:01:16,952
are gonna make it past tomorrow.
26
00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:19,583
Han's been walking around
like he owns the place.
27
00:01:19,584 --> 00:01:23,202
I do own the place!
28
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:33,519
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
29
00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:49,836
Boy, Uber drivers do
not like to be tickled.
30
00:01:49,837 --> 00:01:53,256
And speaking of things
no one would see coming,
31
00:01:53,257 --> 00:01:56,336
I used the F-word with Randy.
32
00:01:56,337 --> 00:01:57,716
Who wouldn't see that coming?
33
00:01:57,717 --> 00:02:00,966
You use the F-word all the time...
34
00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:04,256
usually around children or clergy.
35
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:07,506
No, the F-word as in "future."
36
00:02:07,507 --> 00:02:10,296
Max, you made plans for the future?
37
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,426
You won't even make
dinner plans with me.
38
00:02:12,427 --> 00:02:15,756
You always say, "Who knows if
we'll still be friends by then?"
39
00:02:15,757 --> 00:02:19,756
Well, you always ask me,
like, five hours ahead of time.
40
00:02:19,757 --> 00:02:23,046
Max, I'm gonna go ahead
and use the C-word.
41
00:02:23,047 --> 00:02:26,136
I'm calling you and Randy a couple.
42
00:02:26,137 --> 00:02:27,926
I'm gonna say something,
43
00:02:27,927 --> 00:02:29,836
and I don't want it to go to your head.
44
00:02:29,837 --> 00:02:32,636
You're right, bitch.
45
00:02:32,637 --> 00:02:34,457
See, Max, it all worked out,
46
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:37,156
right up until what I'm
about to say right now.
47
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,156
We have to take the shuttle
to the airport tomorrow,
48
00:02:40,157 --> 00:02:43,536
'cause we're still poor for
another 27 business days.
49
00:02:43,537 --> 00:02:48,156
Let's go out in style
and get a party bus.
50
00:02:48,157 --> 00:02:49,616
After all these years, we still have
51
00:02:49,617 --> 00:02:51,826
such different concepts of style.
52
00:02:51,827 --> 00:02:53,366
Come on!
53
00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:54,456
With a stripper pole
54
00:02:54,457 --> 00:02:57,696
and a Crock-Pot of cocktail weenies.
55
00:02:57,697 --> 00:03:00,116
I danced on a party bus for a year,
56
00:03:00,117 --> 00:03:03,456
not for money.
57
00:03:03,457 --> 00:03:05,696
We are not taking a party bus.
58
00:03:05,697 --> 00:03:08,246
This isn't your super sweet 16.
59
00:03:08,247 --> 00:03:09,576
I didn't have a sweet 16.
60
00:03:09,577 --> 00:03:13,156
I was in plumbing school.
61
00:03:13,157 --> 00:03:15,196
Hey, everybody.
62
00:03:15,197 --> 00:03:16,786
I don't know what's going on,
63
00:03:16,787 --> 00:03:20,576
but people on the elevator
were looking at me funny.
64
00:03:20,577 --> 00:03:21,616
Sophie!
65
00:03:21,617 --> 00:03:23,036
What?
66
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,656
Do I have spinach in my teeth?
67
00:03:25,657 --> 00:03:29,246
Uh, no spinach, but about 25
needles stuck in your face.
68
00:03:29,247 --> 00:03:32,536
Yeah, they're helping me get pregnant.
69
00:03:32,537 --> 00:03:35,616
My healer Audra sent me to Mao,
70
00:03:35,617 --> 00:03:37,826
the acupuncturist to the stars.
71
00:03:37,827 --> 00:03:41,677
Yep, he's poked more famous
people than John Mayer.
72
00:03:44,197 --> 00:03:46,906
Sophie, you're not supposed
to leave with those needles,
73
00:03:46,907 --> 00:03:50,656
just like we're not supposed
to leave with these vases.
74
00:03:50,657 --> 00:03:53,156
Tell you what, I'm gonna
do what I used to do
75
00:03:53,157 --> 00:03:55,326
for my Aunt Becky at the Elks Lodge.
76
00:03:55,327 --> 00:03:57,427
I'm gonna get some
pricks out of your face.
77
00:04:00,537 --> 00:04:03,246
Max, do you think Randy
invited me to dinner
78
00:04:03,247 --> 00:04:06,286
to witness him asking
you to be bi-coastal?
79
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,286
'Cause I don't think
this mascara's waterproof,
80
00:04:08,287 --> 00:04:10,536
and I'm definitely gonna cry
81
00:04:10,537 --> 00:04:14,036
happy and a few jealous tears.
82
00:04:14,037 --> 00:04:16,196
I'm never been bi-coastal.
83
00:04:16,197 --> 00:04:17,906
I was bisexual for a week,
84
00:04:17,907 --> 00:04:20,757
but that's mostly
because I was hitchhiking.
85
00:04:22,907 --> 00:04:24,536
There they are.
86
00:04:24,537 --> 00:04:26,906
Oh, this is the table
where we first met,
87
00:04:26,907 --> 00:04:29,036
and you thought I was a cheap hooker.
88
00:04:29,037 --> 00:04:32,786
And you were only half right.
89
00:04:32,787 --> 00:04:37,076
Here they come, more
jealous than I expected.
90
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,616
Let's celebrate.
91
00:04:38,617 --> 00:04:40,246
It's a big night for both of you.
92
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:41,996
Caroline, your movie deal closed,
93
00:04:41,997 --> 00:04:44,406
and Max, I found your sock.
94
00:04:44,407 --> 00:04:46,036
It was under my refrigerator.
95
00:04:46,037 --> 00:04:47,656
Oh, that makes sense.
96
00:04:47,657 --> 00:04:49,786
I was trying to fish an
M&M out from under there
97
00:04:49,787 --> 00:04:52,906
with a fishing hook I made
with a fork and my sock.
98
00:04:52,907 --> 00:04:54,576
I was so excited about getting the M&M
99
00:04:54,577 --> 00:04:56,826
that I abandoned the sock.
100
00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:58,616
Max, you know you
don't have to eat candy
101
00:04:58,617 --> 00:05:00,536
that fell on the floor anymore.
102
00:05:00,537 --> 00:05:04,116
I still will, but it's nice
to know I don't have to.
103
00:05:04,117 --> 00:05:06,677
Oh, my God, your whole life is changing.
104
00:05:08,617 --> 00:05:10,196
We're just waiting for someone else.
105
00:05:10,197 --> 00:05:11,746
Oh, no, did you invite a guy for me?
106
00:05:11,747 --> 00:05:13,456
I wish I'd known,
107
00:05:13,457 --> 00:05:15,847
'cause I only shaved up
to the bottom of my dress.
108
00:05:18,407 --> 00:05:19,696
It's not a date for you.
109
00:05:19,697 --> 00:05:21,496
It's someone here for me and Max.
110
00:05:21,497 --> 00:05:23,576
Wow, I don't usually bring up threesomes
111
00:05:23,577 --> 00:05:25,967
till the one-month mark when
things start to go stale.
112
00:05:28,157 --> 00:05:32,326
Oh, definitely wasn't
picturing this guy.
113
00:05:32,327 --> 00:05:34,496
Hello, I'm Elliot Charles.
114
00:05:34,497 --> 00:05:38,866
Okay, two first names,
slightly more interesting.
115
00:05:38,867 --> 00:05:42,406
So doing the orgy math
here, there's four of us,
116
00:05:42,407 --> 00:05:45,637
and out of the four, Max
and I can't touch naked.
117
00:05:47,907 --> 00:05:50,496
Her rule, not mine.
118
00:05:50,497 --> 00:05:52,956
Oh, I'm not here in a sexual capacity.
119
00:05:52,957 --> 00:05:54,746
I'm Randy's therapist.
120
00:05:54,747 --> 00:05:56,496
And I guess we should get started.
121
00:05:56,497 --> 00:05:58,286
I do have a 9:00 in the valley.
122
00:05:58,287 --> 00:06:01,656
A 13-year-old girl is coming
out to her vegan parents
123
00:06:01,657 --> 00:06:03,717
as meat-curious.
124
00:06:06,247 --> 00:06:09,746
Um, what's happening?
125
00:06:09,747 --> 00:06:12,616
Look, Max... Elliot?
126
00:06:12,617 --> 00:06:17,656
Look, Max, my patient, Randy,
127
00:06:17,657 --> 00:06:20,656
is breaking up with you.
128
00:06:20,657 --> 00:06:22,406
What?
129
00:06:22,407 --> 00:06:25,786
Max, I know this sounds abrupt.
130
00:06:25,787 --> 00:06:27,656
Elliot?
131
00:06:27,657 --> 00:06:29,536
Max, in my practice, I developed
132
00:06:29,537 --> 00:06:31,656
the ripping-the-Band-Aid-off technique.
133
00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:33,616
You'll read about it in my book someday,
134
00:06:33,617 --> 00:06:34,996
if I ever finish it,
135
00:06:34,997 --> 00:06:37,956
but that's between me and my therapist.
136
00:06:37,957 --> 00:06:39,616
He's not speaking to me right now
137
00:06:39,617 --> 00:06:41,656
because of a couch spill.
138
00:06:41,657 --> 00:06:43,456
And I'd be mad as hell about it
139
00:06:43,457 --> 00:06:46,177
if I didn't completely understand it!
140
00:06:48,497 --> 00:06:51,866
And now, again, what's happening?
141
00:06:51,867 --> 00:06:54,536
Because it seems like
you're breaking up with me
142
00:06:54,537 --> 00:06:56,406
using a therapist.
143
00:06:56,407 --> 00:06:58,746
It does seem that way.
144
00:06:58,747 --> 00:07:00,786
Elliot?
145
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,757
He is breaking up with
you using a therapist.
146
00:07:04,827 --> 00:07:08,366
Look, Randy?
147
00:07:08,367 --> 00:07:09,757
Caroline.
148
00:07:13,077 --> 00:07:17,456
Look, Elliot, you tell
Randy to be a grown-up
149
00:07:17,457 --> 00:07:21,366
and break up with her over text.
150
00:07:21,367 --> 00:07:24,557
At least send her a
"Bye, Felicia" bitmoji.
151
00:07:26,247 --> 00:07:28,826
- Let's go.
- Max, don't go like this.
152
00:07:28,827 --> 00:07:30,956
Elliot, don't let Max go like this.
153
00:07:30,957 --> 00:07:32,696
Max, you're hurt.
154
00:07:32,697 --> 00:07:34,456
You're feeling abandoned.
155
00:07:34,457 --> 00:07:37,496
What would be really
helpful to you right now
156
00:07:37,497 --> 00:07:41,576
is my book, if I can just
get one chapter on paper.
157
00:07:41,577 --> 00:07:44,906
I think people would
benefit a lot from the book.
158
00:07:44,907 --> 00:07:46,246
Well, we're leaving.
159
00:07:46,247 --> 00:07:47,576
This is shocking,
160
00:07:47,577 --> 00:07:48,857
and it's really hard to shock me
161
00:07:48,858 --> 00:07:50,157
since that time I saw a mouse
162
00:07:50,158 --> 00:07:52,597
dry-humping a potato on my couch.
163
00:07:54,537 --> 00:07:55,956
You know what?
164
00:07:55,957 --> 00:07:58,366
You can keep my sock.
165
00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:00,456
On second thought, I need it.
166
00:08:00,457 --> 00:08:01,746
Max, wait.
167
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,826
I am just gonna go,
because the last time
168
00:08:03,827 --> 00:08:07,246
I was this mad, someone lost an eyebrow.
169
00:08:07,247 --> 00:08:10,656
And it took me a long time
170
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,637
to grow it back.
171
00:08:26,867 --> 00:08:28,326
Thank you.
172
00:08:28,327 --> 00:08:29,826
Max, hurry!
173
00:08:29,827 --> 00:08:32,036
We have to leave now to
take Sophie to the healer
174
00:08:32,037 --> 00:08:34,286
and still be at the airport by noon.
175
00:08:34,287 --> 00:08:37,826
I brushed your hair
when you were passed out.
176
00:08:37,827 --> 00:08:40,496
I can't move any faster.
177
00:08:40,497 --> 00:08:42,727
I think this escalator's broken.
178
00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:47,826
I tried to stop you from
drinking bottle number 32,
179
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,916
which was sriracha.
180
00:08:50,917 --> 00:08:54,416
But you tied me to that chair so well.
181
00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:56,746
Well, since drinking that hot sauce,
182
00:08:56,747 --> 00:09:00,126
I've been tied to a different chair.
183
00:09:00,127 --> 00:09:02,826
I have something to
make you feel better.
184
00:09:02,827 --> 00:09:04,246
I doubt it.
185
00:09:04,247 --> 00:09:06,267
Unless it's a diaper full of ice.
186
00:09:09,127 --> 00:09:11,307
It's not that. I'll meet you outside.
187
00:09:14,207 --> 00:09:18,746
Okay, okay, remember that party bus
188
00:09:18,747 --> 00:09:22,746
I never wanted and you
probably don't want now?
189
00:09:22,747 --> 00:09:25,496
- Surprise!
- Good timing.
190
00:09:25,497 --> 00:09:27,326
I'm feeling suicidal,
and I've always wanted
191
00:09:27,327 --> 00:09:29,427
to be buried in something like this.
192
00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:33,626
Aw, come on, Max, cheer up.
193
00:09:33,627 --> 00:09:37,036
You're getting two poles
for the price of one.
194
00:09:37,037 --> 00:09:38,706
This is the first time a party bus
195
00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:41,706
hasn't fixed every problem I have.
196
00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:43,206
Well, you haven't seen
197
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,166
my "Stars and Stripes Forever" routine.
198
00:10:03,747 --> 00:10:05,956
Um, Bert, is this rum
199
00:10:05,957 --> 00:10:09,246
supposed to have a cigarette butt in it?
200
00:10:09,247 --> 00:10:11,246
If you gonna puke,
please aim for the floor.
201
00:10:11,247 --> 00:10:13,036
I can hose it down.
202
00:10:13,037 --> 00:10:16,286
Otherwise, I'm finding corn
in the pleather for months.
203
00:10:16,287 --> 00:10:20,366
Well, if I throw up today,
it's not 'cause I'm having fun.
204
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:22,326
I'm just happy because, finally,
205
00:10:22,327 --> 00:10:25,706
there's ladies in the bus
not wearing penis helmets.
206
00:10:25,707 --> 00:10:28,826
Nope, they were all out of penises,
207
00:10:28,827 --> 00:10:30,166
so I had to settle for balls.
208
00:10:30,167 --> 00:10:31,786
Here, girls.
209
00:10:31,787 --> 00:10:33,996
Nope, I will day drink on a bus,
210
00:10:33,997 --> 00:10:36,916
but I will not put balls on my head.
211
00:10:36,917 --> 00:10:40,706
And you wonder why you're single.
212
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:43,746
Ugh, there's that crazy
expensive sushi place
213
00:10:43,747 --> 00:10:45,496
where Randy and I ate.
214
00:10:45,497 --> 00:10:47,640
And there's the taco place
we had to eat at afterwards
215
00:10:47,641 --> 00:10:49,366
'cause we were still hungry.
216
00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:52,626
Max, please, you have
to put Randy behind you.
217
00:10:52,627 --> 00:10:56,536
And there's the parking spot
where I put Randy behind me.
218
00:10:56,537 --> 00:10:58,326
Bert, did we sign up for the Hollywood
219
00:10:58,327 --> 00:10:59,956
relationship death tour?
220
00:10:59,957 --> 00:11:04,137
If so, I'd like to hit
the Affleck-Garner house.
221
00:11:05,787 --> 00:11:07,576
And right up there is where he lives.
222
00:11:07,577 --> 00:11:10,036
We'd make a right at that
super ripped homeless guy,
223
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:12,996
and in two or three blocks,
we'd be at Randy's house.
224
00:11:12,997 --> 00:11:15,996
Oh, no, "we do this," and "we do that."
225
00:11:15,997 --> 00:11:17,166
She's "we"-ing.
226
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:19,366
As long as nobody wees on the seats,
227
00:11:19,367 --> 00:11:21,246
we'll be fine.
228
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:23,286
Bert, turn off there, up that street.
229
00:11:23,287 --> 00:11:24,996
No, wait, what are you doing?
230
00:11:24,997 --> 00:11:26,576
You're getting closure.
231
00:11:26,577 --> 00:11:29,036
I want him to face you
without that lame therapist.
232
00:11:29,037 --> 00:11:32,706
Just you and him face-to-testicle.
233
00:11:32,707 --> 00:11:36,246
Ladies, just how stalker-y
are we getting here?
234
00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:38,826
Like a drive around the cul-de-sac?
235
00:11:38,827 --> 00:11:42,786
Or a full-on Demi Moore outside
of Mila Kunis' yoga class?
236
00:11:42,787 --> 00:11:44,076
Ooh, there it is.
237
00:11:44,077 --> 00:11:45,576
Up there on the left.
238
00:11:45,577 --> 00:11:47,036
Yep, there it is.
239
00:11:47,037 --> 00:11:48,500
And there he is letting the dog out.
240
00:11:48,501 --> 00:11:52,286
Oh, and he's only wearing a towel.
241
00:11:52,287 --> 00:11:54,826
Ah, yeah.
242
00:11:54,827 --> 00:11:57,076
Now I get it, Max.
243
00:11:57,077 --> 00:11:58,786
Bert, go. This was a bad idea.
244
00:11:58,787 --> 00:12:00,496
No, this is a great idea.
245
00:12:00,497 --> 00:12:02,366
I am not letting you
take this bad feeling
246
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:03,746
back to New York.
247
00:12:03,747 --> 00:12:05,887
Bert, open the door. I'm going out.
248
00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:12,456
Bert, close the door. Let's roll.
249
00:12:18,577 --> 00:12:20,206
I, uh, wanted to put some clothes on,
250
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,956
but Caroline wouldn't let me.
251
00:12:21,957 --> 00:12:24,706
Oh, that's the smartest
thing Caroline's done
252
00:12:24,707 --> 00:12:26,956
since I've met her.
253
00:12:26,957 --> 00:12:28,666
Max.
254
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:31,126
I'm not here.
255
00:12:31,127 --> 00:12:34,286
Max, I can see your
balls behind that pillow.
256
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,496
I can see your balls behind that...
257
00:12:36,497 --> 00:12:38,576
Sophie! Come on.
258
00:12:38,577 --> 00:12:40,126
This is sad.
259
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,427
Oh, well not from where I'm sitting.
260
00:12:44,327 --> 00:12:46,366
Max, I'm sorry about
the way I handled things.
261
00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,166
I just don't know how
to break things off.
262
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:49,366
It's why I was the lawyer
263
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:52,786
on the last three Adam Sandler movies.
264
00:12:52,787 --> 00:12:54,126
Why?
265
00:12:54,127 --> 00:12:55,956
I just need to know why.
266
00:12:55,957 --> 00:12:58,286
Because I'm too young? I'm too old?
267
00:12:58,287 --> 00:13:00,746
Is there someone else?
You're married? You're gay?
268
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:03,727
With a body like that, gay
is definitely on the table.
269
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:08,666
You want the truth?
270
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,666
I like you too much.
271
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,250
That's why I didn't break it off sooner.
272
00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:14,036
I didn't want it to end.
273
00:13:14,037 --> 00:13:16,076
That's why you're breaking up with me?
274
00:13:16,077 --> 00:13:19,166
Because you like me too much?
275
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:21,626
At least have another family in Mexico.
276
00:13:21,627 --> 00:13:23,826
Max, I've done the long-distance thing.
277
00:13:23,827 --> 00:13:26,206
It's just putting off the inevitable.
278
00:13:26,207 --> 00:13:28,826
You have a life there.
I have a life here.
279
00:13:28,827 --> 00:13:30,996
It doesn't work.
280
00:13:30,997 --> 00:13:33,996
Please don't hate me.
281
00:13:33,997 --> 00:13:35,887
Be easier if I could.
282
00:13:37,577 --> 00:13:39,427
Yep, here they come.
283
00:13:41,207 --> 00:13:42,786
Pardon me?
284
00:13:42,787 --> 00:13:46,456
Are we still firing
your housekeeper today?
285
00:13:46,457 --> 00:13:49,036
Oh, nice hat.
286
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:51,206
Confirms that theory that women in LA
287
00:13:51,207 --> 00:13:52,767
are the ones with balls.
288
00:14:02,940 --> 00:14:04,319
This is it, girls.
289
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:08,899
This is where my healer
does all her magic.
290
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:10,979
Yeah, you know, she must
sweat a lot doing it,
291
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:15,399
'cause it smells like
it looks in here, right?
292
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,529
What do you think's in those jars?
293
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:22,029
Every fart that's ever
been held in at yoga?
294
00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:23,399
Are you okay, Max?
295
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,729
I guess.
296
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,229
I just wish you told me closure
297
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:27,813
feels like someone just slammed my nuts
298
00:14:27,814 --> 00:14:31,029
in the trunk of a Pontiac.
299
00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:33,399
Sophie, we have to be at
the airport in an hour.
300
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,769
Yes, but Audra is my last
chance at getting pregnant.
301
00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:38,819
She'll be ready when she's ready.
302
00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:40,439
I mean, look around.
303
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,210
She's a professional.
304
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,609
Have you seen an orange cat?
305
00:14:49,610 --> 00:14:53,399
A little depressed, Sagittarius?
306
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,359
Wait, Garfield lives here?
307
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,319
Audra, this is Max and Caroline.
308
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,149
You know, I rarely say this to a lady,
309
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:05,609
but... oh, put a baby in me.
310
00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:08,269
Absolutely.
311
00:15:08,270 --> 00:15:09,689
Hmm?
312
00:15:09,690 --> 00:15:13,269
You think... you don't... okay.
313
00:15:13,270 --> 00:15:16,229
Go ahead.
314
00:15:16,230 --> 00:15:19,319
I'm sorry, I'm just conferring
with my spirit guides.
315
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,750
Well, if you all talk at
once, I can't understand you.
316
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:29,109
Got it.
317
00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:31,609
They're telling me that someone here
318
00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:33,769
just had their heart broken.
319
00:15:33,770 --> 00:15:35,819
It's you.
320
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:37,569
Oh, my God, Max.
321
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,269
Come closer to me. Come over here.
322
00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:42,319
Oh, gosh, thanks a lot.
323
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,330
You're bogarting my witch.
324
00:15:46,270 --> 00:15:48,439
These spirits don't lie.
325
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,689
Mm-mm.
326
00:15:49,690 --> 00:15:51,609
A little too honest sometimes.
327
00:15:51,610 --> 00:15:54,609
I mean, I didn't ask them
if they like my bangs,
328
00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:57,029
but they sure told me.
329
00:15:57,030 --> 00:16:00,439
It was a whole thing.
330
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:01,503
You don't need to help me.
331
00:16:01,504 --> 00:16:03,229
I'll get over the Randy thing.
332
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,569
I've been through worse things,
333
00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:05,899
like this right now.
334
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:07,359
No.
335
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,399
They're insisting that I help you.
336
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,649
Grab me a jar.
337
00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:13,979
That's where we store the pain...
338
00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:15,960
and lentils, once you're healed.
339
00:16:23,530 --> 00:16:25,319
Great.
340
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,170
No guy, but now I have a
middle-aged lesbian lover.
341
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:45,500
All right, it's out.
342
00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:54,729
I thought I was gonna have
to move to a bigger jar.
343
00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:58,269
You must've really liked this guy.
344
00:16:58,270 --> 00:16:59,859
He was okay.
345
00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:02,269
Well, he's crushed.
346
00:17:02,270 --> 00:17:04,859
He really liked you too.
347
00:17:04,860 --> 00:17:06,643
Never thought a jar
could make me feel better
348
00:17:06,644 --> 00:17:09,029
that wasn't filled with peanut brittle.
349
00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:13,290
Oh, please, spirits, put a baby in me!
350
00:17:15,030 --> 00:17:17,939
All right, here we go.
351
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:20,149
Quiet, everybody.
352
00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:21,439
Let me just close the door.
353
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,939
Okay.
354
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:26,319
Oh, wait.
355
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:30,439
There's still some other unrest here.
356
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,540
Oh, no, that's way too big.
357
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:44,540
It's something else.
358
00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:51,229
Oh, really?
359
00:17:51,230 --> 00:17:53,649
Oh, you're telling...
360
00:17:53,650 --> 00:17:56,649
Sure, sure.
361
00:17:56,650 --> 00:17:59,859
Okay. Hold on.
362
00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:02,649
I can't put a baby in you.
363
00:18:02,650 --> 00:18:04,479
Sorry, Sophie.
364
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,729
You can't?
365
00:18:06,730 --> 00:18:10,939
You made me put needles in my eyes.
366
00:18:10,940 --> 00:18:13,479
Put me on with them.
367
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,729
Hey, I'm on your side.
368
00:18:15,730 --> 00:18:18,420
Her bangs are ridiculous.
369
00:18:24,940 --> 00:18:26,830
Hey, Earl, we're back.
370
00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:30,439
Hi, girls.
371
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,649
Let me be the first to say welcome back,
372
00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:35,729
and also, my deepest sympathies.
373
00:18:35,730 --> 00:18:37,109
How are you, Max?
374
00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:38,319
I just flew in from LA,
375
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,819
and boy, are my arms tired
376
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,479
from hitting the person next to me.
377
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,319
They would not stop fidgeting.
378
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:49,229
I had to pee, and you
wouldn't let me out.
379
00:18:49,230 --> 00:18:51,439
Max, Caroline, you're back!
380
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,370
I mean... hello, how are you?
381
00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:58,269
Han, did you miss us?
382
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:03,979
Oh, please, I miss you like
America misses Radio Shack.
383
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:07,479
Surprisingly, it left a hole.
384
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,189
I saw you leave a hole once...
385
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:11,580
on Groundhog Day.
386
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:16,189
Max, Caroline, where's Sophie?
387
00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:17,269
I missed her so much.
388
00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:19,029
You know what they say:
389
00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:23,319
absence makes me have to
masturbate almost constantly.
390
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,979
So what did the healer say?
391
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:28,269
We'll let her tell you.
392
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:31,529
Hey, everybody!
393
00:19:31,530 --> 00:19:34,319
I'm back from California.
394
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,269
I hope I didn't, like,
395
00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:40,189
totally pick up an accent, dude.
396
00:19:40,190 --> 00:19:43,149
Oh, I was worried Jeremy Renner
397
00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:46,460
would make you the last
thing he'd ever be in.
398
00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:53,029
And I was worried you'd say
something exactly like that.
399
00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:55,899
Well, I'll be in my booth.
400
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:59,399
So what did the healer say?
401
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,439
How soon can we get a baby in you?
402
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:07,979
Oh, well, the truth is, Oleg,
403
00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:10,189
the healer said that
she wouldn't be able
404
00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:12,939
to help me get pregnant.
405
00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:16,319
Oh, Sophie. Why not?
406
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,399
Well, the reason
407
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:23,040
that I can't get pregnant is...
408
00:20:24,730 --> 00:20:26,870
I'm already pregnant!
409
00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:31,529
Yeah!
410
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:33,029
I'm gonna be a father?
411
00:20:33,030 --> 00:20:35,359
Yes, I'm three months along.
412
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,319
Yeah, no, that's the last time
413
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:41,479
I'll buy a pregnancy test off a boat.
414
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,529
Well, let's bust out the very cheap,
415
00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:45,479
non-alcoholic champagne.
416
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,319
Non-alcoholic?
417
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,479
Yeah, Sophie can't drink
when she's pregnant.
418
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:50,769
Oh, all right.
419
00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:52,769
Well, then, the five martinis
420
00:20:52,770 --> 00:20:55,870
that I had on the plane were my last.
421
00:21:00,674 --> 00:21:07,904
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