1
00:00:03,029 --> 00:00:04,608
Here's your grilled cheese.
2
00:00:04,609 --> 00:00:05,858
No crust.
3
00:00:05,859 --> 00:00:07,358
Cool.
4
00:00:07,359 --> 00:00:08,438
And can you just move
5
00:00:08,439 --> 00:00:11,778
your coloring materials, sir?
6
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,028
Look.
7
00:00:13,029 --> 00:00:16,108
Pretty.
8
00:00:16,109 --> 00:00:18,688
I was born during the Great Depression,
9
00:00:18,689 --> 00:00:21,148
and I never saw anything as depressing
10
00:00:21,149 --> 00:00:25,478
as that grown-ass white boy coloring
11
00:00:25,479 --> 00:00:29,028
in the damn coloring book.
12
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,129
I was born during a
Def Leppard concert...
13
00:00:34,319 --> 00:00:37,978
And that is the most
depressing thing I've ever seen.
14
00:00:37,979 --> 00:00:39,318
I'm gonna go school him.
15
00:00:39,319 --> 00:00:41,608
Or, in his case, pre-school him.
16
00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:43,148
Max, be gentle.
17
00:00:43,149 --> 00:00:46,938
I think he's in the
middle of his terrible 32s.
18
00:00:46,939 --> 00:00:50,358
Excuse me, OshKosh B'gosh.
19
00:00:50,359 --> 00:00:53,108
I have a question about
your coloring book.
20
00:00:53,109 --> 00:00:54,778
Why?
21
00:00:54,779 --> 00:00:56,188
Oh, they're for adults.
22
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:57,358
Super Zen.
23
00:00:57,359 --> 00:00:58,778
Super meditative.
24
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Helps with stress.
25
00:01:00,109 --> 00:01:01,858
You know what else helps with stress?
26
00:01:01,859 --> 00:01:04,858
Sex.
27
00:01:04,859 --> 00:01:06,478
And even if someone could get past
28
00:01:06,479 --> 00:01:09,188
those boner-killing overalls...
29
00:01:09,189 --> 00:01:11,292
you ain't gonna have any
of that if you keep this up.
30
00:01:11,293 --> 00:01:13,108
Not to mention, how
stressful can your life
31
00:01:13,109 --> 00:01:16,318
really be if you are carefully
shading a unicorn's ass
32
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:20,128
at 3:00 p.m. on a Tuesday?
33
00:01:23,819 --> 00:01:29,852
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
34
00:01:36,872 --> 00:01:39,102
Pickup. Veggie wrap.
35
00:01:41,122 --> 00:01:45,041
Oh, my God, he's having sex.
36
00:01:45,042 --> 00:01:49,331
Oh, Caroline, don't be such a prude.
37
00:01:49,332 --> 00:01:51,121
Oh, good, it's Sophie.
38
00:01:51,122 --> 00:01:56,041
I was worried he was
at that bagel again.
39
00:01:56,042 --> 00:01:59,001
Who says that a pregnant
woman can't have sex
40
00:01:59,002 --> 00:02:02,621
on the kitchen floor of a diner?
41
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:06,081
The Health Department, Sophie.
42
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:09,182
Oh boy, sex makes me thirsty.
43
00:02:11,952 --> 00:02:15,052
She just blew right past those cups.
44
00:02:16,792 --> 00:02:19,621
Sophie, having sex with you pregnant
45
00:02:19,622 --> 00:02:23,871
is even hotter than having
sex when you had the bird flu.
46
00:02:23,872 --> 00:02:26,661
Yeah, well, you know,
I'm just as sweaty,
47
00:02:26,662 --> 00:02:30,211
but I sneeze less.
48
00:02:30,212 --> 00:02:31,911
Sophie, you're really not letting
49
00:02:31,912 --> 00:02:33,711
this pregnancy slow you down.
50
00:02:33,712 --> 00:02:35,711
You've already had more sex just today
51
00:02:35,712 --> 00:02:40,081
than Caroline's had all year.
52
00:02:40,082 --> 00:02:41,871
You're not even in maternity clothes.
53
00:02:41,872 --> 00:02:43,871
Yeah.
54
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:48,541
Well, I don't need to wear one
of those frumpy potato sacks.
55
00:02:48,542 --> 00:02:51,642
Yeah, because I'm a hot potato!
56
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:57,642
Oh.
57
00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:01,371
Earl, what are you looking at?
58
00:03:01,372 --> 00:03:04,472
I have no idea.
59
00:03:06,872 --> 00:03:08,161
All right, Max...
60
00:03:08,162 --> 00:03:09,451
It's time to have that
61
00:03:09,452 --> 00:03:11,451
uncomfortable conversation again.
62
00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:13,621
Okay, but I thought you
said it was a hard no
63
00:03:13,622 --> 00:03:16,711
on having sex in front
of the Today Show window?
64
00:03:16,712 --> 00:03:18,211
Oh, come on.
65
00:03:18,212 --> 00:03:19,831
My month here is almost up.
66
00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:22,871
I have to get back to
L.A., and we need a plan.
67
00:03:22,872 --> 00:03:24,831
We have a plan.
68
00:03:24,832 --> 00:03:29,291
I use the NuvaRing I found at
the Burlington Coat Factory.
69
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:33,161
They really are more than great coats.
70
00:03:33,162 --> 00:03:34,751
Max, let's get real.
71
00:03:34,752 --> 00:03:36,501
Max doesn't like to talk about reality
72
00:03:36,502 --> 00:03:38,161
unless it's reality TV.
73
00:03:38,162 --> 00:03:41,661
Like the Cops New Orleans
episode she was on.
74
00:03:41,662 --> 00:03:44,972
It's the only time Fox
has ever aired a nipple.
75
00:03:48,712 --> 00:03:51,812
Uh, who ordered the Korean boy band?
76
00:03:54,912 --> 00:03:56,661
Uh, can I help you?
77
00:03:56,662 --> 00:03:58,001
Yeah, hi.
78
00:03:58,002 --> 00:03:59,451
I'm looking for Han Lee.
79
00:03:59,452 --> 00:04:01,371
'Bout yay big.
80
00:04:01,372 --> 00:04:05,541
'Bout yay stupid.
81
00:04:05,542 --> 00:04:07,121
You're looking for Han?
82
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:10,711
Just Han, or are you trying
to collect the whole set?
83
00:04:10,712 --> 00:04:14,211
You kind of look like this
Korean pop star named Bong.
84
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:17,661
Well, my bong is from Korea.
85
00:04:17,662 --> 00:04:19,371
Uh, Han is not here.
86
00:04:19,372 --> 00:04:22,871
Well, if you see him, just
tell him Hwang came to say,
87
00:04:22,872 --> 00:04:26,001
if he doesn't call me
back, he's got three strikes
88
00:04:26,002 --> 00:04:28,711
and no balls.
89
00:04:28,712 --> 00:04:30,812
Oh, he knows that.
90
00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:34,541
Oh, my God, do you think Han
91
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,001
may be in some sort of trouble?
92
00:04:36,002 --> 00:04:37,391
I'm really worried.
93
00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:40,891
Oh, J. Crew sale!
94
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:48,541
So, after we pay the painters,
the electrician, the plumber,
95
00:04:48,542 --> 00:04:51,211
and, of course, the
bribes to the inspectors,
96
00:04:51,212 --> 00:04:53,501
we have just enough money
left for what I like to call
97
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,541
a little "cash cush."
98
00:04:55,542 --> 00:04:59,711
If that's cash we use for
kush, I'm excited about it.
99
00:04:59,712 --> 00:05:01,815
We can't spend that money,
so pretend it's not there,
100
00:05:01,816 --> 00:05:04,351
like you do with recycling bins.
101
00:05:05,122 --> 00:05:06,711
Oh, no!
102
00:05:06,712 --> 00:05:10,041
The rats are using our tarp
as their Superdome again!
103
00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:12,711
I'll get the rat mallet!
104
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:16,911
No, don't get the rat mallet!
105
00:05:16,912 --> 00:05:19,142
It's a talking one, get the gun.
106
00:05:21,042 --> 00:05:24,142
Well, if it isn't Crouching
Loser, Hidden Virgin.
107
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:30,411
Girls, I'm in a bit of hot water.
108
00:05:30,412 --> 00:05:34,041
What happened, you fell
into a tea cup again?
109
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:37,371
No, I'm in deep trouble!
110
00:05:37,372 --> 00:05:40,621
You've never been in deep anything.
111
00:05:40,622 --> 00:05:42,711
Well, wait, is that why
those scary-looking guys
112
00:05:42,712 --> 00:05:44,371
came into the diner looking for you
113
00:05:44,372 --> 00:05:45,951
and made some threats?
114
00:05:45,952 --> 00:05:49,451
I remember something about
a strike and no balls.
115
00:05:49,452 --> 00:05:51,911
Something about no balls?
116
00:05:51,912 --> 00:05:54,041
You monsters didn't
get the precise wording
117
00:05:54,042 --> 00:05:56,791
on a threat to my life?
118
00:05:56,792 --> 00:05:59,621
I was a little distracted, Han.
119
00:05:59,622 --> 00:06:02,831
J. Crew claimed to have a 50% off sale,
120
00:06:02,832 --> 00:06:06,871
but then I clicked on the link,
and it was an "up to" 50% sale.
121
00:06:06,872 --> 00:06:09,331
Mostly on men's suiting.
122
00:06:09,332 --> 00:06:12,001
Oh, do send me the link
so I can select the suit
123
00:06:12,002 --> 00:06:15,831
I'll be buried in!
124
00:06:15,832 --> 00:06:19,331
Because you two can't
take a damn message!
125
00:06:19,332 --> 00:06:21,371
All right, Han, what is going on?
126
00:06:21,372 --> 00:06:22,761
Are you really in trouble?
127
00:06:25,412 --> 00:06:26,331
Hey!
128
00:06:26,332 --> 00:06:28,541
What was that?
129
00:06:28,542 --> 00:06:31,791
Help me, strong, big man!
130
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,501
That wasn't gunshots, Han,
131
00:06:33,502 --> 00:06:35,501
it was just a car backfiring.
132
00:06:35,502 --> 00:06:37,291
What's going on?
133
00:06:37,292 --> 00:06:40,661
Well, there's no easy way to say it.
134
00:06:40,662 --> 00:06:45,871
I have a pretty substantial
gambling problem.
135
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:50,161
But Han, that's almost interesting.
136
00:06:50,162 --> 00:06:54,291
Yeah, and I'm almost history!
137
00:06:54,292 --> 00:06:55,871
In case you weren't following,
138
00:06:55,872 --> 00:06:57,971
I'm in a lot of debt!
139
00:07:06,923 --> 00:07:09,422
Han, my man, I'm here for you.
140
00:07:09,423 --> 00:07:10,712
Tell us what it is.
141
00:07:10,713 --> 00:07:13,922
Poker, ponies, football?
142
00:07:13,923 --> 00:07:15,922
It's...
143
00:07:15,923 --> 00:07:20,382
ladies tennis.
144
00:07:20,383 --> 00:07:22,962
Ladies tennis?
145
00:07:22,963 --> 00:07:25,792
I didn't even know you played tennis.
146
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,882
Yeah, well, it's a vicious sport.
147
00:07:27,883 --> 00:07:31,462
And I lost most of my money
on those Williams sisters.
148
00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:34,563
Never trust a big butt and a smile.
149
00:07:36,753 --> 00:07:38,132
You're telling me!
150
00:07:38,133 --> 00:07:41,422
I thought the bad one was the good one.
151
00:07:41,423 --> 00:07:42,962
How much do you owe these people?
152
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,382
Well, with the initial
debt and the interest,
153
00:07:45,383 --> 00:07:47,052
I'm told it's in the neighborhood
154
00:07:47,053 --> 00:07:50,092
of a black market kidney.
155
00:07:50,093 --> 00:07:51,922
Those are pretty pricey.
156
00:07:51,923 --> 00:07:55,592
I know, I have two of them.
157
00:07:55,593 --> 00:07:59,462
Han, that's fascinating, yet disturbing.
158
00:07:59,463 --> 00:08:03,462
Like when you use a black
light at a Red Roof Inn.
159
00:08:03,463 --> 00:08:05,172
You're like an enigma.
160
00:08:05,173 --> 00:08:08,942
Enigma, please.
161
00:08:12,383 --> 00:08:14,962
Han, how dangerous can Hwang be?
162
00:08:14,963 --> 00:08:17,002
His office is in a karaoke bar.
163
00:08:17,003 --> 00:08:18,292
The only thing he's gonna murder
164
00:08:18,293 --> 00:08:21,052
is the Hall and Oates catalogue.
165
00:08:21,053 --> 00:08:23,552
Han, you have to face this bully.
166
00:08:23,553 --> 00:08:26,842
And this is coming
from your biggest bully.
167
00:08:26,843 --> 00:08:30,792
Now come on, do what I
say, or I'll beat you up.
168
00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:32,292
Here we go.
169
00:08:32,293 --> 00:08:35,752
Oh, I just remembered...
I need to get my sweater.
170
00:08:35,753 --> 00:08:37,132
From my home.
171
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:40,233
In Korea.
172
00:08:42,053 --> 00:08:44,552
♪ Hey I just met you ♪
173
00:08:44,553 --> 00:08:46,462
♪ And this is crazy ♪
174
00:08:46,463 --> 00:08:48,172
♪ So here's my number ♪
175
00:08:48,173 --> 00:08:50,172
♪ Oh, so call me maybe ♪
176
00:08:50,173 --> 00:08:52,672
♪ And all the other girls ♪
177
00:08:52,673 --> 00:08:54,502
♪ Try to chase me ♪
178
00:08:54,503 --> 00:08:56,422
♪ But here's my number ♪
179
00:08:56,423 --> 00:08:57,792
♪ So call me maybe ♪
180
00:08:57,793 --> 00:08:59,152
Boom.
181
00:09:03,093 --> 00:09:04,252
He looks busy.
182
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:07,422
Let's revisit this in September.
183
00:09:07,423 --> 00:09:10,092
Oh, I see we have company.
184
00:09:10,093 --> 00:09:13,552
Come in, sit down, give me my money.
185
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,092
Look, Mr. Hwang.
186
00:09:15,093 --> 00:09:18,382
We understand Han has a
weakness for pleated white skirts
187
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:19,842
and over-developed thighs.
188
00:09:19,843 --> 00:09:21,592
Slow down, let me handle this.
189
00:09:21,593 --> 00:09:24,212
I have experience with
hardened criminals.
190
00:09:24,213 --> 00:09:28,672
First off, killer Carly Rae Jeps.
191
00:09:28,673 --> 00:09:32,552
Um, do you mind if a sister
does, like, five shots?
192
00:09:32,553 --> 00:09:34,092
Look, Mr. Hwang.
193
00:09:34,093 --> 00:09:37,252
Call me by my first name: Hwang.
194
00:09:37,253 --> 00:09:40,922
Your names is Hwang Hwang?
195
00:09:40,923 --> 00:09:43,592
Oh, you think that's funny?
196
00:09:43,593 --> 00:09:45,002
So did Kim.
197
00:09:45,003 --> 00:09:49,552
Kim, show them your mangled genitals.
198
00:09:49,553 --> 00:09:53,342
We're all set, mangled genitals-wise.
199
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:57,752
Speak for yourself, I'd take
a peek at them mangled gennies.
200
00:09:57,753 --> 00:10:00,712
Uh, perhaps we could put
an installment plan in place
201
00:10:00,713 --> 00:10:02,002
for the money Han owes you?
202
00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:03,382
How much is it, exactly?
203
00:10:03,383 --> 00:10:05,212
$30,000.
204
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:09,092
On ladies tennis?
205
00:10:09,093 --> 00:10:11,342
I'm sure we can figure this out.
206
00:10:11,343 --> 00:10:15,353
Yeah, I have a free
pass to any AMC Theatre.
207
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:23,502
I should warn you, though,
it does exclude the IMAX.
208
00:10:23,503 --> 00:10:25,252
Keep it, Han.
209
00:10:25,253 --> 00:10:27,672
I've decided to give you a
little time to pay me back.
210
00:10:27,673 --> 00:10:29,712
That is so cool of you.
211
00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:30,752
How much time?
212
00:10:30,753 --> 00:10:32,842
Uh, one song.
213
00:10:32,843 --> 00:10:34,502
Right now.
214
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:35,592
And Han?
215
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,422
You better make it a toe-tapper.
216
00:10:37,423 --> 00:10:39,592
'Cause when you're done,
217
00:10:39,593 --> 00:10:43,252
you'll have one less toe to tap.
218
00:10:43,253 --> 00:10:46,342
You're not really
gonna take off his toes.
219
00:10:46,343 --> 00:10:50,592
Kim, show him your missing toes.
220
00:10:50,593 --> 00:10:52,502
Come on, Han, it's show time.
221
00:10:52,503 --> 00:10:54,603
I mean, "toe time."
222
00:10:58,252 --> 00:11:00,252
Oh, my God, this is like
when they make people sing
223
00:11:00,253 --> 00:11:03,842
on American Idol after
they've been voted off.
224
00:11:03,843 --> 00:11:08,002
Hwang, what are you
gonna do with another toe?
225
00:11:08,003 --> 00:11:09,752
I mean, you think you need another one,
226
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,842
and then they just sit on the shelf.
227
00:11:11,843 --> 00:11:14,792
If I don't take his toes,
then I'm known as the guy
228
00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:19,252
who says he's gonna take toes
and then doesn't take toes.
229
00:11:19,253 --> 00:11:21,962
Uh, can I peruse a song book?
230
00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:26,092
It might take a while, I'm very picky.
231
00:11:26,093 --> 00:11:29,092
ABBA...
232
00:11:29,093 --> 00:11:32,592
AC/DC...
233
00:11:32,593 --> 00:11:35,962
Adele...
234
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:39,252
I already picked you a song.
235
00:11:39,253 --> 00:11:42,252
"Last Dance" by Donna Summer.
236
00:11:42,253 --> 00:11:44,592
'Cause when that toe is gone,
237
00:11:44,593 --> 00:11:46,462
it'll be the last time you dance.
238
00:11:46,463 --> 00:11:48,192
Sing.
239
00:11:49,673 --> 00:11:54,272
♪ Oh ♪
240
00:11:56,343 --> 00:12:00,852
♪ Oh ♪
241
00:12:04,253 --> 00:12:08,422
♪ Last dance ♪
242
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:13,482
♪ Last chance for love ♪
243
00:12:17,633 --> 00:12:21,212
♪ Yes it's my last chance ♪
244
00:12:21,213 --> 00:12:23,882
♪ For romance ♪
245
00:12:23,883 --> 00:12:27,062
♪ Tonight ♪
246
00:12:31,883 --> 00:12:34,502
♪ I need you ♪
247
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:37,672
♪ By me ♪
248
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,882
♪ Beside me ♪
249
00:12:39,883 --> 00:12:41,422
♪ To guide me ♪
250
00:12:41,423 --> 00:12:42,752
What are we gonna do?
251
00:12:42,753 --> 00:12:44,172
You heard Han.
252
00:12:44,173 --> 00:12:48,752
He needs us by him,
beside him, to guide him!
253
00:12:48,753 --> 00:12:50,172
Should we go and get the cops?
254
00:12:50,173 --> 00:12:51,712
No, by the time they get back,
255
00:12:51,713 --> 00:12:55,292
Han will have one less toe,
if Hwang even stops there.
256
00:12:55,293 --> 00:12:56,752
What if he takes his whole foot?
257
00:12:56,753 --> 00:13:00,712
Han needs all the height he can get.
258
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,382
Didn't you say something about
us having a money cushion?
259
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,212
We can't use the cushion.
260
00:13:05,213 --> 00:13:08,092
We need it for the dessert bar
in case we have a slow start.
261
00:13:08,093 --> 00:13:11,592
Like we have had with every
business we've started before.
262
00:13:11,593 --> 00:13:14,712
You sure? 'Cause...
263
00:13:14,713 --> 00:13:17,712
♪ Don't leave ♪
264
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,752
♪ Scold me ♪
265
00:13:20,753 --> 00:13:23,212
♪ 'Cause when I'm bad ♪
266
00:13:23,213 --> 00:13:27,693
♪ I'm so so bad ♪
267
00:13:32,423 --> 00:13:34,922
Leaning towards helping.
268
00:13:34,923 --> 00:13:38,922
Han is annoying, nerdy, bad at sports,
269
00:13:38,923 --> 00:13:41,592
but he gave us a cushion
when we didn't have anything.
270
00:13:41,593 --> 00:13:44,592
Max, I want to help Han,
but I also don't want us
271
00:13:44,593 --> 00:13:45,922
to wind up with nothing.
272
00:13:45,923 --> 00:13:47,882
Again.
273
00:13:47,883 --> 00:13:50,422
Let me see him one more time.
274
00:13:50,423 --> 00:13:53,752
♪ So let's dance ♪
275
00:13:53,753 --> 00:13:55,552
♪ Let's dance ♪
276
00:13:55,553 --> 00:13:57,212
♪ Let's dance ♪
277
00:13:57,213 --> 00:13:58,592
♪ The last dance ♪
278
00:13:58,593 --> 00:14:00,052
Can I start over?
279
00:14:00,053 --> 00:14:04,102
I had a bubble in my throat.
280
00:14:06,293 --> 00:14:08,212
Chestnut, we have big news.
281
00:14:08,213 --> 00:14:10,672
And something called mochi.
282
00:14:10,673 --> 00:14:11,922
In here.
283
00:14:11,923 --> 00:14:13,922
I let myself in.
284
00:14:13,923 --> 00:14:16,002
Chestnut can talk?
285
00:14:16,003 --> 00:14:18,103
Thank you, God!
286
00:14:20,503 --> 00:14:22,962
What's up, good looking?
287
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,342
I still can't believe
288
00:14:24,343 --> 00:14:26,172
you're dating someone
who looks like that,
289
00:14:26,173 --> 00:14:28,502
and can read.
290
00:14:28,503 --> 00:14:32,092
Randy, you will not believe what we did.
291
00:14:32,093 --> 00:14:33,962
We saved Han's life.
292
00:14:33,963 --> 00:14:36,752
Well, not his life, so much as his toe,
293
00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:40,422
but still an amazing
gesture on our part.
294
00:14:40,423 --> 00:14:41,462
Well...
295
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:44,752
long story about a short guy,
296
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:49,172
we bought the diner.
297
00:14:49,173 --> 00:14:50,592
I had to get something out of it.
298
00:14:50,593 --> 00:14:52,882
I mean, I'm not Mother Teresa.
299
00:14:52,883 --> 00:14:55,002
You bought the diner?
300
00:14:55,003 --> 00:14:57,252
The diner that doesn't
show up on Google Maps
301
00:14:57,253 --> 00:14:58,632
for legal reasons?
302
00:14:58,633 --> 00:15:00,502
That diner?
303
00:15:00,503 --> 00:15:02,092
Why would you do that?
304
00:15:02,093 --> 00:15:04,092
Well, not bought, exactly.
305
00:15:04,093 --> 00:15:06,922
We got Han out of debt in
exchange for part ownership.
306
00:15:06,923 --> 00:15:09,922
It's like, we spend five years
trying to get out of hell,
307
00:15:09,923 --> 00:15:13,092
and then... we bought hell!
308
00:15:13,093 --> 00:15:14,252
Crazy, right?
309
00:15:14,253 --> 00:15:16,752
Yeah, no, real crazy.
310
00:15:16,753 --> 00:15:19,002
When I think of impulse
buys, I think of Altoids
311
00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:21,172
or a flashlight keychain.
312
00:15:21,173 --> 00:15:24,422
Well, I guess congratulations.
313
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,926
Wait, what is that look on your face?
314
00:15:25,927 --> 00:15:27,712
I've never seen it before.
315
00:15:27,713 --> 00:15:29,922
Are you mad?
316
00:15:29,923 --> 00:15:31,252
Just surprised you didn't think
317
00:15:31,253 --> 00:15:33,342
to talk to me about it first.
318
00:15:33,343 --> 00:15:38,092
What, every time I buy a
diner, I have to tell you?
319
00:15:38,093 --> 00:15:40,922
I go back to L.A. in three days.
320
00:15:40,923 --> 00:15:42,382
You couldn't make a plan for that,
321
00:15:42,383 --> 00:15:44,712
but you bought the diner?
322
00:15:44,713 --> 00:15:46,752
That's a commitment.
323
00:15:46,753 --> 00:15:48,853
Now it's done.
324
00:15:51,343 --> 00:15:54,842
I should go tell Chestnut what we did.
325
00:15:54,843 --> 00:15:57,943
'Cause he is gonna laugh.
326
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:03,752
I know what'll make this all okay.
327
00:16:03,753 --> 00:16:06,092
Some jug snugs?
328
00:16:06,093 --> 00:16:09,092
Yours, not mine.
329
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,962
Nothing?
330
00:16:10,963 --> 00:16:12,226
Well, if we're not gonna do it,
331
00:16:12,227 --> 00:16:13,252
at least put on a shirt.
332
00:16:13,253 --> 00:16:15,752
I am human.
333
00:16:15,753 --> 00:16:17,616
You really think you're
gonna have time for us?
334
00:16:17,617 --> 00:16:20,592
Starting a new business
and owning the diner?
335
00:16:20,593 --> 00:16:21,922
Yes!
336
00:16:21,923 --> 00:16:23,672
I had four jobs in sixth grade,
337
00:16:23,673 --> 00:16:27,292
and I still had time to follow
Smash Mouth around the country.
338
00:16:27,293 --> 00:16:31,592
Not the band, a meth
head my mom really liked.
339
00:16:31,593 --> 00:16:35,172
Chestnut had a big reaction
to the news, as well.
340
00:16:35,173 --> 00:16:37,232
Where's the poop shovel?
341
00:16:45,827 --> 00:16:47,986
Hey, boss ladies, congratulations!
342
00:16:47,987 --> 00:16:50,486
I heard that you own the diner now.
343
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:53,587
Which is why I am doing double doobies.
344
00:16:55,617 --> 00:16:57,446
Part! Part owners!
345
00:16:57,447 --> 00:16:58,692
I'm still the boss.
346
00:16:58,693 --> 00:16:59,692
Put that away!
347
00:16:59,693 --> 00:17:02,771
Doobie continued.
348
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:06,481
Who's the boss, Tiny Danza?
349
00:17:06,482 --> 00:17:09,191
Well, I will be again,
as soon as I scrape up
350
00:17:09,192 --> 00:17:11,061
the money to pay you back.
351
00:17:11,062 --> 00:17:12,352
But don't worry, from now on,
352
00:17:12,353 --> 00:17:15,453
I'm not gambling on anything
but lunch at Chipotle.
353
00:17:17,442 --> 00:17:21,231
Hey, everybody!
354
00:17:21,232 --> 00:17:23,852
Sophie's back and better than ever!
355
00:17:23,853 --> 00:17:27,601
Like racism in America.
356
00:17:27,602 --> 00:17:30,151
I heard that.
357
00:17:30,152 --> 00:17:32,441
Wow, Sophie, that is some dress.
358
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:36,101
And there must be one very
cold leopard out there.
359
00:17:36,102 --> 00:17:39,521
Oh, I like your style, baby.
360
00:17:39,522 --> 00:17:41,351
I realized
361
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:45,811
I don't need to wear those
basic bitch maternity clothes.
362
00:17:45,812 --> 00:17:50,021
I can be maternal without
losing that little whisper
363
00:17:50,022 --> 00:17:53,122
that says, "I'm doable."
364
00:17:55,062 --> 00:17:56,851
Yes, you are.
365
00:17:56,852 --> 00:17:59,981
She also made a maternity
item for the bedroom.
366
00:17:59,982 --> 00:18:03,521
It's called "The Pregligé."
367
00:18:03,522 --> 00:18:04,731
Hey, Oleg.
368
00:18:04,732 --> 00:18:07,832
Meet me in the bathroom.
369
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,192
Hey, Earl, I'm heading out.
370
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,376
I guess we'll never get to
do that Lethal Weapon reboot
371
00:18:16,377 --> 00:18:18,391
we talked about.
372
00:18:18,392 --> 00:18:23,151
That's all right, I'm doing
a Rush Hour reboot with Han.
373
00:18:23,152 --> 00:18:24,811
What're you doing with that luggage?
374
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,021
Did I get you kicked
out of another hotel?
375
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,151
No, I changed my ticket.
376
00:18:29,152 --> 00:18:31,521
Going back to L.A. today.
377
00:18:31,522 --> 00:18:33,231
But that's today.
378
00:18:33,232 --> 00:18:36,391
And that is a ticket to Los Angeles.
379
00:18:36,392 --> 00:18:40,481
Use it whenever you
want and I'll be there.
380
00:18:40,482 --> 00:18:41,851
This is empty.
381
00:18:41,852 --> 00:18:45,391
Yeah, everything's done online now.
382
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:48,021
I just did that for effect.
383
00:18:48,022 --> 00:18:50,151
You'll get an email.
384
00:18:50,152 --> 00:18:53,311
Good luck with your
dessert bar and the diner.
385
00:18:53,312 --> 00:18:55,021
I'm gonna see you.
386
00:18:55,022 --> 00:18:57,122
Yeah.
387
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:07,101
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
388
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:09,391
Why are you being so good-bye-y?
389
00:19:09,392 --> 00:19:12,061
I'm gonna visit as soon
as things get settled here.
390
00:19:12,062 --> 00:19:13,691
And we'll talk every day.
391
00:19:13,692 --> 00:19:16,481
I'm even better at phone
sex than I am at real sex.
392
00:19:16,482 --> 00:19:18,151
I find that hard to believe.
393
00:19:18,152 --> 00:19:21,521
It's the only thing on my
resumé that's not a lie.
394
00:19:21,522 --> 00:19:25,311
I'll figure it out. We'll make a plan.
395
00:19:25,312 --> 00:19:27,021
I know you think that.
396
00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:29,231
But I think I was right the first time.
397
00:19:29,232 --> 00:19:32,101
Long-distance relationships don't work.
398
00:19:32,102 --> 00:19:34,691
And I think the real distance between us
399
00:19:34,692 --> 00:19:36,731
is where we are in our lives.
400
00:19:36,732 --> 00:19:37,941
What distance?
401
00:19:37,942 --> 00:19:41,042
I'm three inches away from you.
402
00:19:42,602 --> 00:19:45,351
You better get back to your diner.
403
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,452
I love you, Max.
404
00:19:49,392 --> 00:19:51,492
I love you, too.
405
00:19:56,442 --> 00:19:59,542
Okay, that felt really good-bye-y.
406
00:20:07,442 --> 00:20:08,691
I'm okay, Earl.
407
00:20:08,692 --> 00:20:11,792
This is for me.
408
00:20:13,482 --> 00:20:16,811
I know this is really hard,
but you don't know where
409
00:20:16,812 --> 00:20:18,271
this all is gonna end up.
410
00:20:18,272 --> 00:20:21,372
Like you, when you ride
the subway on ecstasy.
411
00:20:23,652 --> 00:20:25,191
Are you okay?
412
00:20:25,192 --> 00:20:27,702
I am the opposite of okay.
413
00:20:29,692 --> 00:20:33,731
You know, as the boss, I
could let you take a break.
414
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,391
I mean, ten minutes, tops.
415
00:20:35,392 --> 00:20:37,021
If I give you more than ten minutes,
416
00:20:37,022 --> 00:20:38,771
then I'll be known as the girl who says
417
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:40,101
she's gonna give ten minutes,
418
00:20:40,102 --> 00:20:43,271
then doesn't give ten minutes.
419
00:20:43,272 --> 00:20:44,891
I need to talk to the owner.
420
00:20:44,892 --> 00:20:46,101
That's me!
421
00:20:46,102 --> 00:20:50,351
Oh, that was really painful.
422
00:20:50,352 --> 00:20:53,701
And probably worse than losing a toe.
423
00:20:59,846 --> 00:21:07,124
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