1
00:00:02,250 --> 00:00:04,039
Listen up, everybody.
2
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:05,459
Something strange is afoot.
3
00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:07,079
Don't be hard on yourself, Han.
4
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,869
You're taller than a foot.
5
00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:13,999
What's wrong? Somebody rub
your belly for luck again?
6
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,209
No, I think I might
be losing my memory.
7
00:00:16,210 --> 00:00:18,169
According to Netflix,
last night I watched
8
00:00:18,170 --> 00:00:21,579
half the "Taken"s and
all the "Insidious"es-es.
9
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:23,410
All of them!
10
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:27,079
Relax. You probably
just sleep-watched them.
11
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,669
And you probably also sleep-ordered
12
00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:32,539
28 boxes of tampons on Amazon.
13
00:00:32,540 --> 00:00:34,289
Max, you hacked into my accounts?
14
00:00:34,290 --> 00:00:36,169
That's illegal!
15
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:39,160
And beyond what I thought you
were intellectually capable of!
16
00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:45,329
Not much of a hack when
the password is "Hanstoppable."
17
00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:47,459
That's a breach of trust, girls.
18
00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:49,370
Did you order me those shoes?
19
00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:54,280
Dammit! I should have gone
with "Han Golden Pond."
20
00:00:56,420 --> 00:00:58,579
(Peter Bjorn and John)
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
21
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:05,816
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
22
00:01:12,476 --> 00:01:13,685
[cell phone chimes]
23
00:01:13,686 --> 00:01:14,885
Oh, this is weird.
24
00:01:14,886 --> 00:01:16,095
There's a message from Bernard,
25
00:01:16,096 --> 00:01:17,145
my grandmother's butler.
26
00:01:17,146 --> 00:01:18,725
Why would he be calling me?
27
00:01:18,726 --> 00:01:20,886
Maybe he butler-dialed you.
28
00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:23,885
(Bernard) Caroline, hello.
29
00:01:23,886 --> 00:01:26,475
I'm calling on behalf
of your grandmother.
30
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Wait, she abandons me after
four years with no explanation
31
00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:31,725
and now she reaches out?
32
00:01:31,726 --> 00:01:32,726
Now? [scoffs]
33
00:01:32,727 --> 00:01:34,845
There is no excuse for that.
34
00:01:34,846 --> 00:01:36,466
(Bernard) She's been in a coma.
35
00:01:38,146 --> 00:01:40,265
Okay, there's one excuse for that.
36
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:43,225
But she's awake now
and wants to see you.
37
00:01:43,226 --> 00:01:46,645
Max, she wants to see me.
I'm going to go call him.
38
00:01:46,646 --> 00:01:51,095
She didn't shun me,
she was just practically dead!
39
00:01:51,096 --> 00:01:54,015
Max, can I ask your
opinion about something?
40
00:01:54,016 --> 00:01:55,845
If Sophie and I want to get pregnant,
41
00:01:55,846 --> 00:01:57,475
she needs to be on drugs.
42
00:01:57,476 --> 00:01:59,756
Oh, to have sex with you? I get that.
43
00:02:01,516 --> 00:02:03,305
No, fertility drugs.
44
00:02:03,306 --> 00:02:07,926
I haven't paid this much for
sex since Orgy Cruise '08.
45
00:02:09,146 --> 00:02:11,435
So I'm going to ask Han for a raise.
46
00:02:11,436 --> 00:02:13,225
What do you think?
47
00:02:13,226 --> 00:02:16,015
I think that'll be fun to watch.
48
00:02:16,016 --> 00:02:17,805
Well, I've come up with a new password
49
00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:19,725
that none of you will ever guess.
50
00:02:19,726 --> 00:02:21,176
Han-ah Montana?
51
00:02:24,146 --> 00:02:26,015
Dammit!
52
00:02:26,016 --> 00:02:27,935
Lookin' good, Han.
53
00:02:27,936 --> 00:02:29,805
Have you been shopping
at Men's Wearhouse?
54
00:02:29,806 --> 00:02:32,426
'Cause I like the way you look.
55
00:02:33,846 --> 00:02:37,555
You know I exclusively
shop at T.J. Maxx.
56
00:02:37,556 --> 00:02:40,216
They've been helping me
spring into summer for years.
57
00:02:41,976 --> 00:02:44,006
Hey, everybody!
58
00:02:46,806 --> 00:02:48,765
Oleg, what happened?
59
00:02:48,766 --> 00:02:51,716
Did you ask that little
Korean girl for a raise?
60
00:02:54,936 --> 00:02:57,555
Max, my grandmother wants me
to come and see her tomorrow!
61
00:02:57,556 --> 00:02:59,015
This is so exciting.
62
00:02:59,016 --> 00:03:03,475
Someone in my family is alive
and not in federal prison.
63
00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:05,095
That is exciting.
64
00:03:05,096 --> 00:03:06,096
How much money do you
think we're getting?
65
00:03:06,097 --> 00:03:07,346
She's rich, right?
66
00:03:08,516 --> 00:03:10,885
I can't believe all this
time she was in a coma.
67
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,685
I can't believe you
knew someone in a coma
68
00:03:12,686 --> 00:03:15,046
and I didn't get to draw
a mustache on them.
69
00:03:20,016 --> 00:03:22,015
Hello, Caroline.
70
00:03:22,016 --> 00:03:24,095
Your grandmother's place is fancy.
71
00:03:24,096 --> 00:03:25,685
I'm just gonna say it.
72
00:03:25,686 --> 00:03:28,256
I don't think anybody
has ever peed in there.
73
00:03:29,186 --> 00:03:30,186
(Caroline) Bernard!
74
00:03:30,187 --> 00:03:31,845
You haven't aged at all.
75
00:03:31,846 --> 00:03:33,265
Thank you.
76
00:03:33,266 --> 00:03:36,305
She hasn't been awake
to guard her creams.
77
00:03:36,306 --> 00:03:40,725
Oh, this brings back so
many childhood memories.
78
00:03:40,726 --> 00:03:44,595
Right here is where we had
our 14-foot Christmas tree.
79
00:03:44,596 --> 00:03:49,015
And then right here is where
she'd give me her yearly hug.
80
00:03:49,016 --> 00:03:52,805
Well, Caroline, have you
bounced back from the scandal?
81
00:03:52,806 --> 00:03:55,055
If you count working at a
diner, sleeping in a wall,
82
00:03:55,056 --> 00:03:58,256
and clothes shopping at CVS,
then she's real bouncy.
83
00:03:59,846 --> 00:04:03,185
And is this your same-sex partner?
84
00:04:03,186 --> 00:04:06,555
I will be if that gets me in the will.
85
00:04:06,556 --> 00:04:08,935
Bernard, this is Max.
She's my roommate.
86
00:04:08,936 --> 00:04:13,185
Yes, that's what we called
them back in the day.
87
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,515
[bell rings]
88
00:04:14,516 --> 00:04:17,805
Oh, she's found the bell.
89
00:04:17,806 --> 00:04:19,345
Lucky me.
90
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,055
But that was just a single dingle.
91
00:04:21,056 --> 00:04:22,885
A warning dingle.
92
00:04:22,886 --> 00:04:24,975
[bell rings]
93
00:04:24,976 --> 00:04:28,176
Double dingle. Mayday.
94
00:04:31,186 --> 00:04:33,765
Grammy Astrid, it's Caroline!
95
00:04:33,766 --> 00:04:38,685
I know, darling. I'm old, not blind.
96
00:04:38,686 --> 00:04:41,216
I've missed you so much.
97
00:04:42,726 --> 00:04:46,515
Careful. Don't get her overexcited.
98
00:04:46,516 --> 00:04:50,345
Crack a window.
Smells like Ass-trid in here.
99
00:04:50,346 --> 00:04:53,095
I suppose I should conserve my energy
100
00:04:53,096 --> 00:04:55,935
for the luncheon you're
going to throw me.
101
00:04:55,936 --> 00:04:57,055
What luncheon now?
102
00:04:57,056 --> 00:04:58,145
The one you're going to throw
103
00:04:58,146 --> 00:04:59,475
to re-introduce her to society,
104
00:04:59,476 --> 00:05:01,265
a sort of coming out party.
105
00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:02,756
Isn't that more your turf?
106
00:05:04,766 --> 00:05:06,645
Grammy, I'd be happy to
throw you a luncheon
107
00:05:06,646 --> 00:05:07,885
but I can't afford...
108
00:05:07,886 --> 00:05:10,095
Gah! [clears throat]
109
00:05:10,096 --> 00:05:12,975
Sorry. Caroline, never mind all that.
110
00:05:12,976 --> 00:05:15,095
Introductions are in order.
111
00:05:15,096 --> 00:05:18,385
Oh, Grammy. This is my friend, Max.
112
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:22,055
Hey, uh, I guess, welcome back.
113
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:24,765
You haven't changed a bit, Caroline.
114
00:05:24,766 --> 00:05:27,426
Always making friends with the help.
115
00:05:29,886 --> 00:05:31,595
Maria, was it?
116
00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:35,636
I'll take a tall glass
of agua, por favor.
117
00:05:36,976 --> 00:05:40,185
Hoping there's a Maria behind me.
118
00:05:40,186 --> 00:05:42,595
Caroline, how have you been?
119
00:05:42,596 --> 00:05:45,055
Are you running Wall Street yet?
120
00:05:45,056 --> 00:05:50,046
No, but I did cut my hair,
which was scary but rewarding.
121
00:05:51,556 --> 00:05:54,185
Grammy, a lot has changed
since I lost all my...
122
00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:56,555
Gah!
123
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,966
Seriously, dude, get an x-ray.
124
00:06:00,976 --> 00:06:02,546
Outside. Now.
125
00:06:04,226 --> 00:06:07,636
And still waiting on that agua, Maria.
126
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,046
Ay, yi yi.
127
00:06:16,096 --> 00:06:20,055
Okay, Bernard, what's with the "gahs"?
128
00:06:20,056 --> 00:06:21,845
You interrupted what I
was saying so often,
129
00:06:21,846 --> 00:06:24,145
it's like we're a married couple.
130
00:06:24,146 --> 00:06:25,725
I was trying to stop you
131
00:06:25,726 --> 00:06:27,935
from mentioning your father's scandal.
132
00:06:27,936 --> 00:06:31,345
Oh, I thought that's just
how British people fart.
133
00:06:31,346 --> 00:06:34,265
Your grandmother has no
memory of what happened.
134
00:06:34,266 --> 00:06:35,935
When I attempted to
tell her the bad news,
135
00:06:35,936 --> 00:06:37,935
she had a stroke and
slipped into a coma.
136
00:06:37,936 --> 00:06:39,975
I said, "Your son might
be in some trouble,"
137
00:06:39,976 --> 00:06:41,935
and that was it; she was out.
138
00:06:41,936 --> 00:06:45,725
She doesn't know I lost all my money?
139
00:06:45,726 --> 00:06:47,685
I know. It's terrible.
140
00:06:47,686 --> 00:06:51,225
And what's worse is you have
to tell her she's lost all hers.
141
00:06:51,226 --> 00:06:52,555
She's broke?
142
00:06:52,556 --> 00:06:54,886
Then why did I get her that water?
143
00:07:03,391 --> 00:07:05,800
Hey, girls. Buckle up.
144
00:07:05,801 --> 00:07:08,760
Oleg's gonna ask Han for a raise again.
145
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:12,300
Hot stuff, coming through.
146
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:16,760
Oh look, it's Chef Boy-Are-You-Gross.
147
00:07:16,761 --> 00:07:18,970
Nice hat, right?
148
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,340
He wears it in the bedroom
when we role-play.
149
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,390
I'm the fussy customer,
150
00:07:23,391 --> 00:07:27,340
and he slathers butter on my biscuit.
151
00:07:27,341 --> 00:07:29,300
This isn't the whole costume.
152
00:07:29,301 --> 00:07:33,041
I also wear a drumstick paper
frill around my penis.
153
00:07:34,551 --> 00:07:37,251
Boner appétit.
154
00:07:38,101 --> 00:07:39,340
Oh, here comes Han.
155
00:07:39,341 --> 00:07:40,680
It's showtime, baby.
156
00:07:40,681 --> 00:07:42,470
Well, I have a new password
157
00:07:42,471 --> 00:07:44,470
that no one will ever get.
158
00:07:44,471 --> 00:07:46,381
"Straight Outta Compt-han"?
159
00:07:49,551 --> 00:07:50,751
Dammit!
160
00:07:52,551 --> 00:07:56,800
Mmm! This food is so good.
161
00:07:56,801 --> 00:08:01,840
My compliments to the
man who hired the chef.
162
00:08:01,841 --> 00:08:04,930
Oleg, you're not getting a raise
just because Sophie can act
163
00:08:04,931 --> 00:08:08,890
like your food is yummy in her tummy.
164
00:08:08,891 --> 00:08:11,720
Would you change your mind if
I did it in a different accent?
165
00:08:11,721 --> 00:08:15,171
I used to act in Poland.
I can do a whole bunch.
166
00:08:17,551 --> 00:08:20,430
[Southern accent] Mmm! My word.
167
00:08:20,431 --> 00:08:24,341
I just love this tasty tortellini.
168
00:08:27,431 --> 00:08:29,501
Mm-hmm!
169
00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:42,501
Thank you for tonight's nightmare.
170
00:08:47,181 --> 00:08:48,260
Uh, table for one?
171
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:51,680
Not for this one, thank you.
172
00:08:51,681 --> 00:08:53,720
Bernard, hi. What are you doing here?
173
00:08:53,721 --> 00:08:55,640
I could ask the same
of you and follow up
174
00:08:55,641 --> 00:08:59,260
with a series of questions
about that hideous uniform.
175
00:08:59,261 --> 00:09:01,340
Looks like mustard and
ketchup had a fight
176
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,341
and everyone lost.
177
00:09:04,931 --> 00:09:07,841
What up, B-nard?
You look even paler here.
178
00:09:09,261 --> 00:09:11,001
And you look perfect here.
179
00:09:12,721 --> 00:09:14,300
Now, something to wear
for tomorrow's luncheon.
180
00:09:14,301 --> 00:09:17,180
One of your grandmother's Chanel suits.
181
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,640
Here's her guest list.
182
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,550
I'm afraid only one guest RSVP'd "yes."
183
00:09:21,551 --> 00:09:25,220
All the rest of her
friends RSVP'd "dead."
184
00:09:25,221 --> 00:09:27,180
Bernard, I really do wish I could give
185
00:09:27,181 --> 00:09:29,180
my Grammy what she wants,
but I don't have the money
186
00:09:29,181 --> 00:09:30,800
for a real fancy luncheon.
187
00:09:30,801 --> 00:09:33,430
Or even real milk, for that matter.
188
00:09:33,431 --> 00:09:35,631
We drink "milk drink."
189
00:09:37,761 --> 00:09:40,340
I don't think she can take
much more disappointment.
190
00:09:40,341 --> 00:09:41,760
This morning I had to tell her all about
191
00:09:41,761 --> 00:09:44,381
her favorite athlete, Bruce Jenner.
192
00:09:50,221 --> 00:09:51,430
This is so sad.
193
00:09:51,431 --> 00:09:52,970
Grammy's whole world is gone
194
00:09:52,971 --> 00:09:54,840
and she has no idea.
195
00:09:54,841 --> 00:09:57,800
Max, I have to give her the
one thing that she wants.
196
00:09:57,801 --> 00:10:01,050
A major rollback on civil rights?
197
00:10:01,051 --> 00:10:02,430
No, the luncheon.
198
00:10:02,431 --> 00:10:04,390
She deserves one last hurrah
199
00:10:04,391 --> 00:10:06,340
before I tell her she's lost everything.
200
00:10:06,341 --> 00:10:07,510
I wish someone had done that for me
201
00:10:07,511 --> 00:10:09,390
before my life came crashing down.
202
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:11,390
Okay, I'll help you.
203
00:10:11,391 --> 00:10:13,801
I mean, Maria will, if she
can find a babysitter.
204
00:10:24,761 --> 00:10:27,640
You are the only person
I'll wear this for.
205
00:10:27,641 --> 00:10:30,421
You know, without the $300 up front.
206
00:10:31,301 --> 00:10:33,800
Thank God Sophie had that maid outfit.
207
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,711
I think this is gonna work.
208
00:10:39,141 --> 00:10:42,390
As long as you don't turn around.
209
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,390
(Astrid) Caroline, is that you?
210
00:10:44,391 --> 00:10:45,760
Oh, she's coming. Quick.
211
00:10:45,761 --> 00:10:48,180
Behind the screen.
Put the suit on over that.
212
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:51,180
You want me to change into a
Chanel suit behind this screen?
213
00:10:51,181 --> 00:10:54,131
Oh, there's room.
I've done it numerous times.
214
00:10:55,431 --> 00:10:57,300
Oh, did the rest of
our staff arrive yet?
215
00:10:57,301 --> 00:10:59,390
Yes, if you can call them that.
216
00:10:59,391 --> 00:11:01,260
Where did you find them anyway?
217
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,930
Um, around.
218
00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:07,501
Just push me into the room!
219
00:11:11,051 --> 00:11:13,300
I'm doing the best I can!
220
00:11:13,301 --> 00:11:16,340
These pants are five sizes too big!
221
00:11:16,341 --> 00:11:20,720
Bernard, next time,
don't hire a child butler.
222
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:25,300
And you, don't they have
wheelchairs in China?
223
00:11:25,301 --> 00:11:27,100
I'm from Korea!
224
00:11:27,101 --> 00:11:29,501
I don't think so.
225
00:11:32,681 --> 00:11:34,600
Tell Caroline she owes me.
226
00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:38,421
Who knows what STD I'm catching
from Oleg's butler costume?
227
00:11:39,891 --> 00:11:41,680
And why does he even have this?
228
00:11:41,681 --> 00:11:45,600
It's from when they play
"Going Downtown Abbey."
229
00:11:45,601 --> 00:11:49,180
Maria, I need help with my hair.
230
00:11:49,181 --> 00:11:51,390
See what you can do.
231
00:11:51,391 --> 00:11:55,510
Um, no, I'm not really good at that.
232
00:11:55,511 --> 00:11:58,041
Maria, just do it. Go.
233
00:12:00,551 --> 00:12:02,600
Okay.
234
00:12:02,601 --> 00:12:05,591
You get one of those, and that was it.
235
00:12:07,391 --> 00:12:11,760
Oh, there's my girl.
You look wonderful.
236
00:12:11,761 --> 00:12:15,180
I forgot how good Chanel
feels against my skin.
237
00:12:15,181 --> 00:12:16,680
It's like coming home,
238
00:12:16,681 --> 00:12:19,510
but the house is made of silk and hope.
239
00:12:19,511 --> 00:12:21,711
How's this? A little too Princess Leia?
240
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:28,340
On top! I like it up on top.
241
00:12:28,341 --> 00:12:30,131
Whoa!
242
00:12:36,931 --> 00:12:38,600
Whoa, Grammy. Keep it PG.
243
00:12:38,601 --> 00:12:40,591
[elevator dings]
244
00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,381
Where am I?
245
00:12:49,181 --> 00:12:51,510
Oh, it's Gertrude Goolsby.
246
00:12:51,511 --> 00:12:53,970
Your first and only guest has arrived.
247
00:12:53,971 --> 00:12:56,390
Astrid! Oh!
248
00:12:56,391 --> 00:12:58,171
Oh, have to... oh.
249
00:12:59,801 --> 00:13:01,421
Sneaks up on you.
250
00:13:04,301 --> 00:13:06,340
Good luck with all this.
251
00:13:06,341 --> 00:13:10,010
I'll be in the kitchen,
studying the Chipotle menu.
252
00:13:10,011 --> 00:13:11,801
For my next job.
253
00:13:13,181 --> 00:13:16,220
Don't you look smashing, Astrid.
254
00:13:16,221 --> 00:13:19,001
I'm assuming. I can't see anymore.
255
00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:22,050
Well, I bet you and Grammy have
256
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,840
a lot of fun stuff to catch up on.
257
00:13:24,841 --> 00:13:26,470
How is Gordon?
258
00:13:26,471 --> 00:13:28,501
He has face cancer.
259
00:13:30,841 --> 00:13:34,050
Or the weather is also a subject.
260
00:13:34,051 --> 00:13:36,800
We'd like the first course, pronto.
261
00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:39,800
Maria! Look alive.
262
00:13:39,801 --> 00:13:42,300
You're one to talk.
263
00:13:42,301 --> 00:13:45,640
[bell dinging]
264
00:13:45,641 --> 00:13:48,171
And she gets one of
those and that was it.
265
00:13:49,681 --> 00:13:52,591
Dear, may I ask you a question?
266
00:13:53,681 --> 00:13:55,501
Where am I?
267
00:13:57,261 --> 00:14:00,510
Oh, and where is our sommelier?
268
00:14:00,511 --> 00:14:03,461
At your service.
269
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,171
Some wine?
270
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,340
Um...
271
00:14:11,341 --> 00:14:15,100
My bad. This one's empty.
272
00:14:15,101 --> 00:14:17,461
I got bored.
273
00:14:20,101 --> 00:14:21,970
And what about you, ma'am?
274
00:14:21,971 --> 00:14:23,260
White, red,
275
00:14:23,261 --> 00:14:26,041
or maybe you prefer a chocolate brown?
276
00:14:28,261 --> 00:14:30,301
I must be in New Orleans.
277
00:14:32,221 --> 00:14:34,140
Here we go.
278
00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:37,390
It's from the Bordeaux region.
279
00:14:37,391 --> 00:14:40,251
More like the Costco region.
280
00:14:41,431 --> 00:14:44,100
Maria!
281
00:14:44,101 --> 00:14:46,470
That's me.
282
00:14:46,471 --> 00:14:50,930
Why are these forks not
laid out correctly?
283
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:54,050
Maria, forks, now.
284
00:14:54,051 --> 00:14:55,220
Glad you like that outfit,
285
00:14:55,221 --> 00:14:58,890
'cause you're gonna be buried in it.
286
00:14:58,891 --> 00:15:02,541
I think I'm gonna let this
one breathe in the kitchen.
287
00:15:05,141 --> 00:15:07,510
Caroline, I'd like to meet the chef.
288
00:15:07,511 --> 00:15:10,800
Oh, of course. Chef!
289
00:15:10,801 --> 00:15:13,010
Booyah!
290
00:15:13,011 --> 00:15:14,800
I'm Chef Oleg.
291
00:15:14,801 --> 00:15:18,600
Gordon Ramsay once put
me in a headlock.
292
00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:23,640
Please enjoy the first course
of my first course:
293
00:15:23,641 --> 00:15:26,041
a tasty tortellini.
294
00:15:27,431 --> 00:15:32,220
Caroline, this sauce is delicious!
295
00:15:32,221 --> 00:15:34,180
Oh, I'm so glad you like it.
296
00:15:34,181 --> 00:15:36,260
This is the kind of luncheon
that makes you feel
297
00:15:36,261 --> 00:15:40,300
like you can handle
anything that comes along.
298
00:15:40,301 --> 00:15:42,550
Pity there aren't more
guests to enjoy it.
299
00:15:42,551 --> 00:15:44,510
[elevator dings]
300
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,591
[posh accent] Darling!
301
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:57,501
Well, I hope I'm not
late for the luncheon!
302
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,739
Mmm!
303
00:16:08,740 --> 00:16:11,100
[posh accent] This crème
brûlée is just divine!
304
00:16:13,110 --> 00:16:16,020
Don't mind if I don't mind.
305
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:23,199
[normal voice] Uh, excuse me.
I have to tinkle.
306
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,949
Where's your john?
307
00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:27,739
Oh, I forgot!
308
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,029
Yes, um...
309
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:32,159
[posh accent] Pardon me, yes.
310
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,199
Could you direct me to your...
311
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,190
Jonathan?
312
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,199
Astrid, darling,
313
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,569
I wasn't sure what to expect
from one of your lunches,
314
00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:51,739
you know, since the scandal,
315
00:16:51,740 --> 00:16:53,159
since you lost all of your...
316
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,020
Gah!
317
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:57,949
I mean, uh...
318
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,159
Lunch is over. Gertrude is leaving.
319
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,609
Scandal? What scandal?
320
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:04,239
Oh, you know.
321
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,569
The horror of you not having any more...
322
00:17:06,570 --> 00:17:08,779
Mayday! Double dingle!
323
00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:10,279
Maria, do something.
324
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,859
(Gertrude) Oh.
325
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:14,029
So you mean she doesn't
want to talk about the fact
326
00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:15,279
that she's lost all her mon...
327
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,560
[glass shatters]
328
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:20,989
Oh, it's crystal that broke.
329
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:23,440
I thought it was one of Astrid's bones.
330
00:17:24,990 --> 00:17:27,109
I'll replace it. I mean, I can't,
331
00:17:27,110 --> 00:17:29,859
but it's the right thing
to say right now.
332
00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:33,109
Maria, that's my good crystal.
333
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:36,779
And it's not replaceable, unlike you.
334
00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:39,199
- Now go!
- Fine.
335
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:42,770
I'll go. To wherever Maria lives.
336
00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:46,779
But just know your granddaughter
337
00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:49,659
worked really hard to
make this lunch all nice.
338
00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:51,199
No, you don't have to go.
339
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,400
Oh, can I go?
340
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,449
Maybe I should go too.
341
00:17:57,450 --> 00:18:00,569
Would anyone buy that I had plans?
342
00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:02,239
No one is going.
343
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,279
I'm just gonna pick
up the broken crystal
344
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,989
and we'll just continue to
have the best luncheon ever.
345
00:18:07,990 --> 00:18:10,279
Caroline! Let the help do that.
346
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,449
Get up off of that floor!
347
00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:14,270
You are not one of them.
348
00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:20,190
Actually, yes, I am.
349
00:18:21,110 --> 00:18:22,739
Grammy, you may have been in a coma,
350
00:18:22,740 --> 00:18:25,859
but I feel like it's
me that just woke up.
351
00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:27,069
For the past five years,
352
00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:30,739
I have been really missing all of this,
353
00:18:30,740 --> 00:18:33,699
but it's not good crystal
that makes a life.
354
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:37,779
It's good people. People like them.
355
00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:41,319
And they are not "the help,"
356
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,069
but they did come here to help me.
357
00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:45,279
'Cause you and I might be related,
358
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:49,109
but these people are my family now.
359
00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:52,159
And also, I should tell you,
360
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,319
I don't work on Wall Street.
361
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,899
I work in Brooklyn, in a diner.
362
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:01,949
See? I'm a waitress.
363
00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:03,600
That's debatable.
364
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,609
I don't understand.
365
00:19:10,610 --> 00:19:15,569
You're a Channing. How
could you be a waitress?
366
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:18,319
Because she lost all her money
367
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:22,279
when you lost all your money.
368
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,449
[heart monitor beats faster]
369
00:19:24,450 --> 00:19:27,279
- Caroline, what is she saying?
- Nothing, she's saying nothing.
370
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,279
I'm saying,
371
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,659
you're poor.
372
00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:33,159
[heart monitor beats increase]
373
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,359
[gasping]
374
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:39,029
[heart monitor flatlines]
375
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:41,109
Oh, I leave for two minutes
376
00:19:41,110 --> 00:19:44,400
and the party really goes downhill!
377
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,779
I'm sorry again about
your grandma, darlin'.
378
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:57,279
Thanks, Earl.
379
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,319
Well, she did die doing what she loved:
380
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,560
being rich and yelling at the help.
381
00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:05,779
[crying]
382
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:10,239
I'm gonna miss her so much!
383
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,859
Sophie, you knew her for three courses.
384
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:18,020
I know; I didn't win that Polish
daytime Emmy for nothing!
385
00:20:20,450 --> 00:20:22,779
You know, Caroline,
you did the right thing
386
00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:24,029
throwing that luncheon.
387
00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:25,449
And I pulled a glute
388
00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:29,159
pushing your lovely
racist grandmother around.
389
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,449
I really appreciate you guys
helping me with the luncheon.
390
00:20:32,450 --> 00:20:36,199
And, Oleg, I tried the
food, and it wasn't gross.
391
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,980
You hear that, Han? Wasn't. Gross.
392
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,239
After being a servant for a few hours,
393
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,739
I get how much you all
have to put up with.
394
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:48,949
So, I'm giving you all a raise!
395
00:20:48,950 --> 00:20:51,449
Thank you so much, Han!
396
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:52,819
Everyone?
397
00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:55,989
They don't need drug money for a baby.
398
00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:59,480
No, but we need drug money
for a 27-year-old woman.
399
00:21:02,642 --> 00:21:09,142
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.