1
00:00:03,877 --> 00:00:05,964
I know I've been talking
about Bobby all morning,
2
00:00:05,965 --> 00:00:08,434
but another thing I love about Bobby is,
3
00:00:08,435 --> 00:00:10,369
he just gets me.
4
00:00:10,370 --> 00:00:13,272
Can he come get you right now?
5
00:00:13,273 --> 00:00:16,642
Last night, I gave Bobby
a little neck action.
6
00:00:16,643 --> 00:00:19,945
Neck action? Oh, racy!
7
00:00:19,946 --> 00:00:21,580
What's next, you gonna
lift up your skirt
8
00:00:21,581 --> 00:00:22,981
and show him your knees?
9
00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:25,884
Maybe.
10
00:00:25,885 --> 00:00:27,619
Hey, Caroline, wait up!
11
00:00:27,620 --> 00:00:28,821
Hide me, Max.
12
00:00:28,822 --> 00:00:30,289
Bobby hasn't seen me
13
00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:32,491
in my waitress uniform,
or my right profile.
14
00:00:32,492 --> 00:00:33,926
It hasn't been easy.
15
00:00:33,927 --> 00:00:35,523
What is wrong with our uniform?
16
00:00:35,524 --> 00:00:36,695
I call her Carrie
17
00:00:36,696 --> 00:00:38,430
'cause she's got a
little pig's blood on her
18
00:00:38,431 --> 00:00:41,567
and she can't be destroyed by fire.
19
00:00:41,568 --> 00:00:43,001
Morning, beautiful.
20
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,336
I got you a macchiato.
21
00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:45,771
And a supportive round of applause
22
00:00:45,772 --> 00:00:47,553
when I told them the name was Caroline.
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00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:50,409
Bobby, you are so sweet.
24
00:00:50,410 --> 00:00:52,778
This has skim milk, right?
25
00:00:52,779 --> 00:00:54,613
Oh, whatever!
26
00:00:54,614 --> 00:00:57,316
Uh, why are you using
Max as a human shield?
27
00:00:57,317 --> 00:00:59,451
Oh, don't worry. I'm used to it.
28
00:00:59,452 --> 00:01:02,087
It's how my mom robbed all
those Carvels in the '90s.
29
00:01:03,423 --> 00:01:04,490
I should get going.
30
00:01:04,491 --> 00:01:07,126
So... group hug?
31
00:01:07,127 --> 00:01:08,394
I'm still trying to figure out
32
00:01:08,395 --> 00:01:09,858
where to take you on our third date.
33
00:01:09,859 --> 00:01:11,697
I want it to be special.
34
00:01:11,698 --> 00:01:13,499
Also, I'm either caught on Max's button
35
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:15,000
or she has a tiny, round penis.
36
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:20,939
Might want to get that jacket tested.
37
00:01:20,940 --> 00:01:21,939
I'll see ya.
38
00:01:25,644 --> 00:01:27,312
Third date?
39
00:01:27,313 --> 00:01:29,882
You know what that means, don't you?
40
00:01:29,883 --> 00:01:31,550
Going by my last third date,
41
00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:32,751
he comes out of the closet,
42
00:01:32,752 --> 00:01:34,853
and we still date for two years.
43
00:01:34,854 --> 00:01:36,355
No!
44
00:01:36,356 --> 00:01:39,491
It means more neck action, just lower.
45
00:01:39,492 --> 00:01:42,394
Your between-legs neck.
46
00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:43,796
You're an adult, Max.
47
00:01:43,797 --> 00:01:46,565
It's called a noony-noo.
48
00:01:46,566 --> 00:01:49,334
And I thought sex was on the tenth date,
49
00:01:49,335 --> 00:01:52,371
after he accidentally
says, "I love you."
50
00:01:52,372 --> 00:01:54,940
Everybody knows the
third date means sex.
51
00:01:54,941 --> 00:01:57,176
And the fourth date means
he gets oddly distant
52
00:01:57,177 --> 00:01:59,812
and crazy busy at work.
53
00:02:03,516 --> 00:02:08,586
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
54
00:02:15,856 --> 00:02:17,556
Hey, Earl, how's it hanging?
55
00:02:17,557 --> 00:02:20,860
Lower than anyone will tell you, Max.
56
00:02:20,861 --> 00:02:24,562
I thought a snake followed me
into the bathroom this morning.
57
00:02:25,464 --> 00:02:26,832
What's up with you girls?
58
00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:29,802
Oh, Caroline is going on a third date.
59
00:02:29,803 --> 00:02:33,739
Oh, some between-legs
neck action is on.
60
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:36,308
I am really not familiar
with this phrase.
61
00:02:36,309 --> 00:02:39,044
And I'm pretty sure this
whole "third date sex" rule
62
00:02:39,045 --> 00:02:40,513
isn't really a thing.
63
00:02:40,514 --> 00:02:43,482
Waiting until the third date for sex?
64
00:02:43,483 --> 00:02:45,985
What are you, a nun?
65
00:02:45,986 --> 00:02:48,653
Hey, everybody!
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00:02:50,623 --> 00:02:52,858
Oh, all right.
67
00:02:52,859 --> 00:02:56,595
Don't talk to Baby
Barbara. We're in a fight.
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00:02:56,596 --> 00:02:58,397
She thought that the Fifty Shades book
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00:02:58,398 --> 00:03:00,698
was better than the movie.
70
00:03:02,568 --> 00:03:04,570
Sophie, have you ever heard
that you're supposed to
71
00:03:04,571 --> 00:03:06,639
have sex on the third date?
72
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,842
Oh, that's a nun thing, right?
73
00:03:09,843 --> 00:03:11,744
I am so glad I don't have to deal with
74
00:03:11,745 --> 00:03:13,012
this kind of stuff anymore.
75
00:03:13,013 --> 00:03:15,881
I am officially retired from sex.
76
00:03:15,882 --> 00:03:18,017
Not sure how many of
you have heard the news,
77
00:03:18,018 --> 00:03:20,653
but not sure how many
of you read "Juggs."
78
00:03:20,654 --> 00:03:22,721
It got too political.
79
00:03:22,722 --> 00:03:24,989
That's why I turned to "Cans."
80
00:03:26,358 --> 00:03:27,893
Max, what are you talking about?
81
00:03:27,894 --> 00:03:29,595
You can't retire from sex.
82
00:03:29,596 --> 00:03:31,530
It's your thing, like Cheetos
83
00:03:31,531 --> 00:03:34,900
or zeroing in on
people's vulnerabilities.
84
00:03:34,901 --> 00:03:38,404
What? Sorry, I was distracted
by your nose pimple.
85
00:03:38,405 --> 00:03:40,973
I just feel like I need
to get out of the game.
86
00:03:40,974 --> 00:03:42,808
I had a good run, just ask
87
00:03:42,809 --> 00:03:45,044
literally anybody.
88
00:03:45,045 --> 00:03:47,046
But now it's your turn.
89
00:03:47,047 --> 00:03:49,014
Well, when one pair of legs closes,
90
00:03:49,015 --> 00:03:51,851
another one opens.
91
00:03:51,852 --> 00:03:55,888
Yeah, that's what Polish Oprah says.
92
00:03:55,889 --> 00:03:59,091
And you get hanged if
you disagree with her.
93
00:03:59,092 --> 00:04:00,192
Yep.
94
00:04:00,193 --> 00:04:02,261
Max, it doesn't take a genius...
95
00:04:02,262 --> 00:04:05,431
although my Facebook IQ
test says I qualify as one...
96
00:04:05,432 --> 00:04:07,733
to know that this whole retirement thing
97
00:04:07,734 --> 00:04:09,201
is about your breakup with Randy.
98
00:04:09,202 --> 00:04:13,239
It also said you had 362 friends.
99
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,675
And we all know you barely have one.
100
00:04:16,676 --> 00:04:19,678
This has nothing to do with Randy.
101
00:04:19,679 --> 00:04:22,014
My sex throne is yours now.
102
00:04:22,015 --> 00:04:25,384
I would maybe put a towel down.
103
00:04:25,385 --> 00:04:26,886
Max, you can't get out of the game
104
00:04:26,887 --> 00:04:28,721
just when I'm getting back in.
105
00:04:28,722 --> 00:04:32,591
I wanted us to have sex together.
106
00:04:32,592 --> 00:04:35,493
Well, clear up that
nose zit, and we'll talk.
107
00:04:36,762 --> 00:04:39,598
Speaking of nose zits.
108
00:04:39,599 --> 00:04:42,401
Han, Max is about to give up sex.
109
00:04:42,402 --> 00:04:45,037
Tell her how bad life is without it.
110
00:04:45,038 --> 00:04:46,805
It's actually quite rich.
111
00:04:46,806 --> 00:04:49,041
I was just saying to Mossimo
down at the boccie court...
112
00:04:49,042 --> 00:04:51,210
Thank you! I rest my case.
113
00:04:51,211 --> 00:04:53,612
And tomorrow I'm taking golf lessons
114
00:04:53,613 --> 00:04:55,247
thanks to our community board.
115
00:04:55,248 --> 00:04:57,283
Apparently, I don't
meet the weight minimum
116
00:04:57,284 --> 00:04:59,652
for Krav Maga.
117
00:04:59,653 --> 00:05:01,954
You know what? I'll go with you.
118
00:05:01,955 --> 00:05:03,989
Retired people love golf.
119
00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:06,292
Just like you lesbians.
120
00:05:06,293 --> 00:05:08,127
Welcome to the club.
121
00:05:08,128 --> 00:05:11,130
Oh, look, we just made a golf pun.
122
00:05:11,131 --> 00:05:13,464
This is gonna be fun!
123
00:05:14,967 --> 00:05:17,669
I hope to God you
know what you're doing.
124
00:05:19,838 --> 00:05:22,675
If I am gonna have sex with
Bobby, I need new underwear.
125
00:05:22,676 --> 00:05:26,312
My current pair has more
holes than the plot of Arrival.
126
00:05:26,313 --> 00:05:27,980
So you came here?
127
00:05:27,981 --> 00:05:30,249
There's no lube aisle.
128
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:32,518
None of the mannequins
are doing each other.
129
00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:34,620
This is a classy lingerie store,
130
00:05:34,621 --> 00:05:37,289
not Second-Hand Hose.
131
00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:38,857
I got kicked out of there.
132
00:05:38,858 --> 00:05:40,259
I ate a pair of edible underwear
133
00:05:40,260 --> 00:05:43,629
and I put the box back on the shelf.
134
00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:46,699
Ladies, I'm Rita. Welcome
to the Art of Seduction,
135
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,256
where seduction begins with...
136
00:05:48,257 --> 00:05:49,168
A shot of tequila
137
00:05:49,169 --> 00:05:51,303
and ends with a shot of penicillin?
138
00:05:51,304 --> 00:05:53,138
Not what I was going to say at all.
139
00:05:53,139 --> 00:05:54,640
What can I help you ladies with?
140
00:05:54,641 --> 00:05:57,810
Uh, she has a third
date situation happening.
141
00:05:57,811 --> 00:06:01,780
Do you have anything that
says "Grand Reopening"?
142
00:06:01,781 --> 00:06:03,015
I want to be naughty.
143
00:06:03,016 --> 00:06:05,117
But I get cold.
144
00:06:05,118 --> 00:06:08,821
I found your shoelace section,
but where is the underwear?
145
00:06:08,822 --> 00:06:10,556
That is underwear,
146
00:06:10,557 --> 00:06:12,724
and you're holding it backwards.
147
00:06:15,194 --> 00:06:17,563
Oh, sure, I see it now.
148
00:06:17,564 --> 00:06:19,698
Let's go to Target.
149
00:06:19,699 --> 00:06:21,400
And, uh, what about you?
150
00:06:21,401 --> 00:06:22,501
Any third dates coming up?
151
00:06:22,502 --> 00:06:23,902
Actually, no.
152
00:06:23,903 --> 00:06:26,705
I am retired, sexually.
153
00:06:26,706 --> 00:06:30,643
Took the sock off the door
and now I'm wearing it.
154
00:06:30,644 --> 00:06:32,878
Come on, Max, we both know you're not
155
00:06:32,879 --> 00:06:34,046
really retired from sex.
156
00:06:34,047 --> 00:06:38,050
We are two young, sexual beings.
157
00:06:38,051 --> 00:06:40,418
Where are you supposed to wear this?
158
00:06:42,554 --> 00:06:45,524
That's a purse.
159
00:06:45,525 --> 00:06:48,394
Uh, if I'm not retired,
160
00:06:48,395 --> 00:06:50,596
then why did Larry Flynt
send me a gold watch,
161
00:06:50,597 --> 00:06:54,033
thanking me for my 20 years of cervix.
162
00:06:54,034 --> 00:06:56,335
How about this teddy?
163
00:06:56,336 --> 00:06:58,404
I just need simple underwear.
164
00:06:58,405 --> 00:07:01,240
I was a nice presentation
for my noony-noo.
165
00:07:01,241 --> 00:07:03,008
Look, it doesn't matter what you wear.
166
00:07:03,009 --> 00:07:05,203
With a body like yours,
it's not gonna be on long.
167
00:07:05,204 --> 00:07:07,746
Ah, see, Max? She likes my body.
168
00:07:07,747 --> 00:07:11,350
Tastes have changed since
I got out of the game.
169
00:07:11,351 --> 00:07:13,552
And these panties are
great to bounce in.
170
00:07:13,553 --> 00:07:15,587
The frills on the back
really accentuate the twerk
171
00:07:15,588 --> 00:07:17,690
when you're doing the Swingin' Linda.
172
00:07:22,027 --> 00:07:23,295
Linda
173
00:07:23,296 --> 00:07:26,598
must have a bunch of back problems.
174
00:07:26,599 --> 00:07:29,368
Oh, my God. Do I have to do that?
175
00:07:29,369 --> 00:07:31,236
Whatever happened to lying down?
176
00:07:31,237 --> 00:07:33,372
That's a guy's job now.
177
00:07:33,373 --> 00:07:36,041
Skanks like us ruined that for you.
178
00:07:36,042 --> 00:07:38,410
She's not wrong, but
179
00:07:38,411 --> 00:07:40,379
I teach a burlesque
class around the corner.
180
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:42,247
You should come.
181
00:07:42,248 --> 00:07:44,641
It can, uh, really help you
get in touch with your body.
182
00:07:44,642 --> 00:07:45,918
Oh, it's okay, I'm already
183
00:07:45,919 --> 00:07:47,453
very in touch with my body.
184
00:07:47,454 --> 00:07:50,089
Oh, yeah. She's real in touch.
185
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:53,292
This one's keeping Duracell in business.
186
00:08:00,601 --> 00:08:03,780
Max, I wish you had gotten
something at the lingerie store.
187
00:08:03,781 --> 00:08:07,784
That saddle looked
really good under you.
188
00:08:07,785 --> 00:08:09,085
Most things do.
189
00:08:09,086 --> 00:08:10,787
Did! I'm retired!
190
00:08:10,788 --> 00:08:14,357
We both know your
retirement isn't gonna last.
191
00:08:14,358 --> 00:08:15,959
You're like The Rolling Stones,
192
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,194
but with more of your own blood.
193
00:08:18,195 --> 00:08:20,463
Oh...
194
00:08:20,464 --> 00:08:21,797
really?
195
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:27,937
Do I look like someone who will
196
00:08:27,938 --> 00:08:30,272
ever have sex again?
197
00:08:33,277 --> 00:08:35,177
Clothes jinx!
198
00:08:37,747 --> 00:08:41,584
It's like looking in a funhouse mirror.
199
00:08:41,585 --> 00:08:44,254
Without the fun.
200
00:08:44,255 --> 00:08:47,624
I just came by to say our
tee time is tomorrow at 1:00.
201
00:08:47,625 --> 00:08:49,626
We're in a foursome with Mitch and Bill.
202
00:08:49,627 --> 00:08:52,996
Whatever you do, don't mention
the Gulf War in front of Mitch.
203
00:08:52,997 --> 00:08:56,966
Even when you say
"golf," really hit the O.
204
00:08:56,967 --> 00:08:59,168
Max, come on, don't you want to unretire
205
00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:01,137
and have a real foursome again?
206
00:09:01,138 --> 00:09:02,906
Like you used to, on my bed,
207
00:09:02,907 --> 00:09:04,407
while I'm trying to read?
208
00:09:04,408 --> 00:09:06,576
I like this sexless existence.
209
00:09:06,577 --> 00:09:08,511
I don't know what you've
been complaining about.
210
00:09:08,512 --> 00:09:11,014
And besides, I can
finally let myself go,
211
00:09:11,015 --> 00:09:12,949
hygenital-ly.
212
00:09:12,950 --> 00:09:14,918
So because you got hurt by Randy,
213
00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:16,319
you're never gonna have sex again?
214
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,588
No, I'm never having sex again
215
00:09:18,589 --> 00:09:21,189
because I have no idea how
to take off these pants.
216
00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:25,962
- Hey.
- Whoa... Bobby!
217
00:09:25,963 --> 00:09:28,464
What are you doing here?
218
00:09:28,465 --> 00:09:31,266
I couldn't wait till
tomorrow night to see you.
219
00:09:31,267 --> 00:09:33,570
I got this from a gay wedding;
they were throwing them out
220
00:09:33,571 --> 00:09:35,872
'cause they were the wrong shade of red.
221
00:09:35,873 --> 00:09:38,942
My God, this is just like The Bachelor.
222
00:09:38,943 --> 00:09:41,710
Except I'm not getting
HPV from a lagoon.
223
00:09:43,513 --> 00:09:45,515
Hey, don't worry, Max.
I didn't forget you.
224
00:09:45,516 --> 00:09:47,450
My scratch-offs!
225
00:09:47,451 --> 00:09:49,619
The grooms were throwing
those out instead of rice.
226
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:53,990
Well, that's going on my Pinterest.
227
00:09:53,991 --> 00:09:57,527
So tomorrow night's our big third date.
228
00:09:57,528 --> 00:09:59,996
That's what people keep telling me.
229
00:09:59,997 --> 00:10:02,131
I've got something real special planned.
230
00:10:02,132 --> 00:10:03,499
It's exotic.
231
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,134
I think you'll be very impressed.
232
00:10:05,135 --> 00:10:08,071
Oh, I'm sure I will be,
233
00:10:08,072 --> 00:10:10,039
but it takes me a little while,
234
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:13,376
and I'm quiet when I am.
235
00:10:13,377 --> 00:10:15,011
Hey, don't worry.
236
00:10:15,012 --> 00:10:17,814
I'll do all the work.
237
00:10:17,815 --> 00:10:20,483
Well, I'll pitch in a little.
238
00:10:20,484 --> 00:10:22,117
It's gonna be big.
239
00:10:24,554 --> 00:10:26,221
See you tomorrow night.
240
00:10:30,059 --> 00:10:33,363
Big and exotic? What is it, a parrot?
241
00:10:33,364 --> 00:10:36,766
If it's a cockatiel,
then I'm back in the game.
242
00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:39,434
At least I have that
really sexy underwear.
243
00:10:40,870 --> 00:10:43,773
Hey, girls. I heard
the word "underwear."
244
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:45,708
Hey.
245
00:10:45,709 --> 00:10:48,511
Some old lady left
her panties back here.
246
00:10:48,512 --> 00:10:51,381
Oleg, those aren't old lady panties,
247
00:10:51,382 --> 00:10:53,249
they're mine.
248
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:56,219
Are you bringing them to an old lady?
249
00:10:56,220 --> 00:11:00,390
Perhaps this gentleman's wife?
250
00:11:00,391 --> 00:11:02,258
Oleg, these are sexy.
251
00:11:02,259 --> 00:11:04,227
What makes you a panty expert?
252
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,529
Besides my official license plate
253
00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:08,097
from the state of arousal
254
00:11:08,098 --> 00:11:12,635
and my degree from Idu U?
255
00:11:12,636 --> 00:11:14,603
Nothing.
256
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,141
I have to go to that burlesque class.
257
00:11:18,142 --> 00:11:19,442
I don't know, you should see if
258
00:11:19,443 --> 00:11:21,910
they have night classes at Idu U.
259
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,150
How are you gonna dance
in those golf clothes?
260
00:11:27,151 --> 00:11:28,317
How are you gonna dance
261
00:11:28,318 --> 00:11:30,319
looking like a slutty poodle?
262
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,455
Let's just pick out our props.
263
00:11:32,456 --> 00:11:34,957
I've been sanitizing
for this all morning.
264
00:11:34,958 --> 00:11:38,094
I was once dropped into a
lake in a trunk just like this.
265
00:11:38,095 --> 00:11:41,297
Those dock goons did not
expect to see this gal again.
266
00:11:41,298 --> 00:11:44,100
Ooh, feather boa!
267
00:11:44,101 --> 00:11:45,668
I haven't worn something with feathers
268
00:11:45,669 --> 00:11:48,771
since that pigeon flew into our fan.
269
00:11:48,772 --> 00:11:50,406
I brought this from home.
270
00:11:50,407 --> 00:11:52,575
I got it on my third Carnival Cruise.
271
00:11:52,576 --> 00:11:54,644
Oh, let her have it!
272
00:11:54,645 --> 00:11:56,145
Girl's going on a third date.
273
00:11:56,146 --> 00:11:59,415
Ooh, that's a gay first date.
274
00:11:59,416 --> 00:12:02,118
My first date was a
Hall & Oates concert.
275
00:12:02,119 --> 00:12:03,986
Yes, I'm old.
276
00:12:03,987 --> 00:12:05,521
Welcome, everyone!
277
00:12:05,522 --> 00:12:08,357
Let's get started.
It's time to get sexy!
278
00:12:08,358 --> 00:12:10,626
Yep, according to my "Hustler" watch,
279
00:12:10,627 --> 00:12:13,096
it's 11:69.
280
00:12:13,097 --> 00:12:14,629
Can't be right. Feels earlier.
281
00:12:16,132 --> 00:12:17,934
Hey, girls. Oh.
282
00:12:17,935 --> 00:12:19,135
I was screaming at you
283
00:12:19,136 --> 00:12:20,937
for three blocks to wait up.
284
00:12:20,938 --> 00:12:25,341
But then sidewalk Caroline
turned out to be a lamppost.
285
00:12:25,342 --> 00:12:27,043
Sophie, what are you doing here?
286
00:12:27,044 --> 00:12:29,946
Well, I saw the card on
the board in the diner,
287
00:12:29,947 --> 00:12:32,849
and I wanted to spice
up Oleg and my sex life.
288
00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:34,617
Yeah, I mean, we haven't
done it in front of
289
00:12:34,618 --> 00:12:37,186
The Today Show window in weeks.
290
00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:38,688
I can't believe they didn't
291
00:12:38,689 --> 00:12:41,991
cut away when Matt Lauer threw up.
292
00:12:41,992 --> 00:12:43,359
Last time I did it, you could
293
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,661
still bring cocaine in your carry-on.
294
00:12:45,662 --> 00:12:48,364
In this class, we are going to go deep
295
00:12:48,365 --> 00:12:50,666
and unleash our sexual goddesses.
296
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:52,869
Mine got me kicked out of the army.
297
00:12:52,870 --> 00:12:55,338
They asked; I told.
298
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:57,640
Let's dive in!
299
00:12:57,641 --> 00:12:59,776
Everybody get behind your chairs.
300
00:12:59,777 --> 00:13:02,120
I'm gonna show you the routine
and then I'll break it down.
301
00:13:02,121 --> 00:13:03,079
I'm so excited.
302
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,547
I'm about to lose control
303
00:13:04,548 --> 00:13:06,215
and I think I like it!
304
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,486
♪ It's not even my birthday ♪
305
00:13:10,487 --> 00:13:12,488
♪ But he want to lick the icing off ♪
306
00:13:12,489 --> 00:13:16,325
♪ I know you want it in the worst way ♪
307
00:13:16,326 --> 00:13:18,327
♪ Can't wait to blow my candles out ♪
308
00:13:18,328 --> 00:13:21,764
♪ He want that cake, cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake, cake ♪
309
00:13:21,765 --> 00:13:25,234
♪ It's not even my birthday but... ♪
310
00:13:25,235 --> 00:13:26,335
You know what?
311
00:13:26,336 --> 00:13:27,503
I don't need to have sex.
312
00:13:27,504 --> 00:13:30,173
I'll just play golf with you.
313
00:13:30,174 --> 00:13:33,709
Uh, I play golf to
get away from my wife.
314
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,211
Well, I'm exhausted.
315
00:13:35,212 --> 00:13:38,681
I need a nap.
316
00:13:38,682 --> 00:13:41,884
After I dance is when we
usually lose most of the class.
317
00:13:41,885 --> 00:13:44,353
Now, before I teach
you the actual moves,
318
00:13:44,354 --> 00:13:45,688
I want you to just feel your body
319
00:13:45,689 --> 00:13:47,356
and let it go.
320
00:13:47,357 --> 00:13:48,500
Who wants to give it a shot?
321
00:13:48,501 --> 00:13:50,026
Oh, I do! I do!
322
00:13:50,027 --> 00:13:53,462
I want to put the "ass" in "class."
323
00:13:53,463 --> 00:13:55,064
Sophie, if I wanted to see your ass,
324
00:13:55,065 --> 00:13:57,466
I'd get up early and
watch The Today Show.
325
00:14:00,337 --> 00:14:01,871
♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪
326
00:14:01,872 --> 00:14:04,607
♪ It's not even my birthday ♪
327
00:14:04,608 --> 00:14:07,643
♪ But he want to lick the icing off ♪
328
00:14:07,644 --> 00:14:10,680
♪ I know you want it in the worst way ♪
329
00:14:10,681 --> 00:14:14,650
♪ Can't wait to blow my candles out ♪
330
00:14:14,651 --> 00:14:15,885
I'm stuck, but you know what?
331
00:14:15,886 --> 00:14:17,486
I swear to God, I can make it work.
332
00:14:17,487 --> 00:14:19,789
♪ It's not even my birthday ♪
333
00:14:19,790 --> 00:14:22,291
♪ But he want to lick the icing off ♪
334
00:14:23,493 --> 00:14:25,127
I'm, uh, scared to ask this,
335
00:14:25,128 --> 00:14:26,429
but who's next?
336
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:28,064
Is it okay if I try?
337
00:14:28,065 --> 00:14:31,133
That was probably the
only act I could follow.
338
00:14:31,134 --> 00:14:32,935
Go, girl!
339
00:14:36,473 --> 00:14:38,040
♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪
340
00:14:38,041 --> 00:14:40,142
♪ It's not even my birthday ♪
341
00:14:40,143 --> 00:14:43,813
♪ But he want to lick the icing off ♪
342
00:14:43,814 --> 00:14:47,049
♪ I know you want it in the worst way ♪
343
00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:48,985
♪ Can't wait to blow my candles out ♪
344
00:14:48,986 --> 00:14:51,988
♪ He want that cake, cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake, cake ♪
345
00:14:51,989 --> 00:14:54,857
♪ It's not even my birthday ♪
346
00:14:58,794 --> 00:15:02,832
I didn't think these
pants came with a boner.
347
00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:04,700
I don't know where that came from.
348
00:15:04,701 --> 00:15:07,036
You know how they say the
rhythm is gonna get you?
349
00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:08,671
It got me!
350
00:15:08,672 --> 00:15:11,207
Well, I gotta go.
351
00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:12,775
It's ass past two.
352
00:15:12,776 --> 00:15:15,645
Well, your ass isn't getting past me.
353
00:15:15,646 --> 00:15:16,846
Ooh, now that I can dance,
354
00:15:16,847 --> 00:15:19,214
I'm sassy too.
355
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:27,092
Let's tease. And tease.
356
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,261
Did I do that? Did I do that?
357
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,096
And tease. And tease.
358
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,132
I did do that. I did do that.
359
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,100
And pump. And grind.
360
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,602
And pump. And grind.
361
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,003
Wink.
362
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:40,639
That's how I got to this country.
363
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,909
Except I was also rowing.
364
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:46,679
Why aren't you participating?
365
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,514
Like I told that guy
in sweatpants last week,
366
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,115
you can't just sit here and watch.
367
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,951
Well, unlike that guy,
368
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:54,653
my days of sexy moves are behind me.
369
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,074
From now on, the only
balls I'll be smacking
370
00:15:57,075 --> 00:16:00,077
are on the golf course.
371
00:16:00,078 --> 00:16:02,212
You're really gonna
give up on who you are
372
00:16:02,213 --> 00:16:03,314
because of Randy?
373
00:16:03,315 --> 00:16:04,648
She went through a breakup,
374
00:16:04,649 --> 00:16:05,883
and she swore off sex,
375
00:16:05,884 --> 00:16:07,818
and I'm worried maybe deodorant.
376
00:16:07,819 --> 00:16:10,287
Oh, yeah, that's
377
00:16:10,288 --> 00:16:14,525
probably my bag of dirty
diapers in my purse.
378
00:16:14,526 --> 00:16:17,594
I'm putting them in my baby book.
379
00:16:17,595 --> 00:16:19,663
This is what this class is all about.
380
00:16:19,664 --> 00:16:21,565
Taking all that pain and anger
381
00:16:21,566 --> 00:16:23,100
and making it sexy.
382
00:16:23,101 --> 00:16:25,469
I thought this was about
making my booty clap.
383
00:16:25,470 --> 00:16:27,871
We'll get there, Gavin.
384
00:16:27,872 --> 00:16:31,508
So tell me about this guy, Randy.
385
00:16:31,509 --> 00:16:32,843
Uh, there's nothing to say.
386
00:16:32,844 --> 00:16:33,844
It's not about him.
387
00:16:33,845 --> 00:16:35,179
Are you sure?
388
00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:36,013
Did he
389
00:16:36,014 --> 00:16:37,781
bring you down low?
390
00:16:37,782 --> 00:16:40,718
Oh, sure he did. Real low.
391
00:16:40,719 --> 00:16:41,719
Shake you up?
392
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,087
All shook up.
393
00:16:43,088 --> 00:16:46,857
Hey, get your ass out
of my face, razor hips.
394
00:16:46,858 --> 00:16:47,858
Did he
395
00:16:47,859 --> 00:16:49,093
spin you around
396
00:16:49,094 --> 00:16:51,562
and slide right out of your life?
397
00:16:51,563 --> 00:16:52,996
Like a greasy McNugget!
398
00:16:52,997 --> 00:16:53,997
Show me that nugget.
399
00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:55,099
I would, but I can't
400
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,767
take these pants off.
401
00:16:56,768 --> 00:16:58,402
Max, come on.
402
00:16:58,403 --> 00:17:01,271
You can't let one bad
experience ruin everything.
403
00:17:01,272 --> 00:17:04,007
Otherwise, I'd never
use our bath mat again.
404
00:17:04,008 --> 00:17:05,909
It's hot for no reason.
405
00:17:05,910 --> 00:17:08,812
Yeah, I'm double parked!
Come on, dance already!
406
00:17:08,813 --> 00:17:12,449
Fine! If it will get me out of here.
407
00:17:14,619 --> 00:17:17,988
♪ It's not even my birthday
408
00:17:17,989 --> 00:17:19,492
♪ But he want to lick the icing off ♪
409
00:17:19,493 --> 00:17:21,191
That's right, get it out there!
410
00:17:21,192 --> 00:17:23,494
Bump, bump! Grind, grind!
411
00:17:23,495 --> 00:17:26,563
Duck, duck, goose! Wink!
412
00:17:26,564 --> 00:17:28,899
♪ Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake
413
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,135
♪ Cake, cake, cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake ♪
414
00:17:31,136 --> 00:17:35,339
Ooh, yeah, bounce, baby, bounce!
415
00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:38,709
God, this is so real!
416
00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:41,745
♪ I know you want it in the worst way ♪
417
00:17:43,581 --> 00:17:46,216
Okay! Fine!
418
00:17:46,217 --> 00:17:48,452
Maybe I am shut down 'cause of Randy.
419
00:17:48,453 --> 00:17:52,356
See, you needed to get that
out. Do you feel better?
420
00:17:52,357 --> 00:17:55,426
No, I got a splinter in my face.
421
00:17:55,427 --> 00:17:57,528
Well, if you'll excuse me,
422
00:17:57,529 --> 00:18:00,464
I have a golf lesson to get to.
423
00:18:00,465 --> 00:18:02,746
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle,
wiggle, wiggle, Max out.
424
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,003
She won't tell anyone
425
00:18:06,004 --> 00:18:07,971
she learned those moves here, will she?
426
00:18:07,972 --> 00:18:09,506
I was the best, right?
427
00:18:09,507 --> 00:18:11,874
Because it matters to me.
428
00:18:14,044 --> 00:18:16,413
Hide your husbands. Hide your wives.
429
00:18:16,414 --> 00:18:17,948
Max is back.
430
00:18:17,949 --> 00:18:19,616
I'm out of retirement
431
00:18:19,617 --> 00:18:22,653
and these pants, as soon
as I can get them off.
432
00:18:22,654 --> 00:18:26,824
Oh, my God, you slept with Han?
433
00:18:26,825 --> 00:18:28,288
Let me find that machete you gave me
434
00:18:28,289 --> 00:18:30,093
in case this ever happened.
435
00:18:30,094 --> 00:18:32,596
No, she slept with our golf pro.
436
00:18:32,597 --> 00:18:36,934
Once again, I was
left holding my putter.
437
00:18:36,935 --> 00:18:38,869
Yep, I'm back, and I
have the grass stains
438
00:18:38,870 --> 00:18:40,471
on my head to prove it.
439
00:18:40,472 --> 00:18:43,373
See? That class helped everyone.
440
00:18:43,374 --> 00:18:45,209
Except Sophie... by the time I left,
441
00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:48,512
she had three more chairs on her.
442
00:18:48,513 --> 00:18:50,379
Hey, everybody!
443
00:18:53,317 --> 00:18:55,586
Brace yourself.
444
00:18:55,587 --> 00:18:59,289
Sophie got sexified.
445
00:19:02,894 --> 00:19:05,362
♪ Baby, baby, baby
446
00:19:05,363 --> 00:19:07,798
♪ It's not even my birthday
447
00:19:07,799 --> 00:19:10,367
♪ But he want to lick the icing off ♪
448
00:19:10,368 --> 00:19:12,970
♪ I know you want it in the worst way ♪
449
00:19:12,971 --> 00:19:15,739
♪ Can't wait to blow my candles out ♪
450
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:19,810
♪ He want that cake, cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake, cake ♪
451
00:19:19,811 --> 00:19:22,212
♪ Cake, cake, cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake ♪
452
00:19:22,213 --> 00:19:24,515
Oh, my God.
453
00:19:24,516 --> 00:19:27,317
Between those moves and
that sexy neck brace,
454
00:19:27,318 --> 00:19:30,287
it's too much for me to take.
455
00:19:30,288 --> 00:19:32,823
This is what I get
for telling that genie
456
00:19:32,824 --> 00:19:35,926
I wanted to live to be 100.
457
00:19:35,927 --> 00:19:39,129
♪ Cake, cake, cake, cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake, cake ♪
458
00:19:39,130 --> 00:19:41,498
♪ Cake, cake, cake ♪
459
00:19:41,499 --> 00:19:43,667
♪ It's not even my birthday ♪
460
00:19:43,668 --> 00:19:45,702
♪ But he want to lick the icing off ♪
461
00:19:45,703 --> 00:19:47,638
Sophie...
462
00:19:47,639 --> 00:19:50,274
could I see you in the walk-in freezer?
463
00:19:50,275 --> 00:19:53,477
And if you don't mind,
could you add a limp?
464
00:19:53,478 --> 00:19:58,916
♪ Cake, cake, cake, cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake, cake ♪
465
00:19:58,917 --> 00:20:00,717
♪ It's not even my birthday ♪
466
00:20:00,718 --> 00:20:04,221
You know what the
sexiest thing about it is?
467
00:20:04,222 --> 00:20:06,355
The limp is real.
468
00:20:10,394 --> 00:20:11,728
Hey, buddy.
469
00:20:11,729 --> 00:20:13,086
- Hey.
- What's going on, man?
470
00:20:13,185 --> 00:20:14,564
Bobby!
471
00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:16,674
Hey, I was just on my lunch break,
472
00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:20,245
thought I'd stop by and almost see you.
473
00:20:20,246 --> 00:20:22,046
Well, it was nice dating you.
474
00:20:22,047 --> 00:20:24,148
This is my uniform. I know, it's...
475
00:20:24,149 --> 00:20:26,351
Hot. Really, really hot.
476
00:20:26,352 --> 00:20:29,954
You look like a sexy pencil.
477
00:20:29,955 --> 00:20:32,606
But I bought all this really sexy,
478
00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:35,835
very zipper-heavy underwear
to wear on our third date.
479
00:20:35,836 --> 00:20:37,770
Why would I see your
underwear on our third date?
480
00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:39,606
Doesn't that happen on the tenth?
481
00:20:39,607 --> 00:20:41,608
That's what I said!
482
00:20:41,609 --> 00:20:45,111
You people are animals!
483
00:20:45,112 --> 00:20:47,347
But what was all that talk about
484
00:20:47,348 --> 00:20:49,482
our date being big and exotic?
485
00:20:49,483 --> 00:20:51,584
I was gonna take you
to this Moroccan place.
486
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:54,954
They don't have chairs.
We sit on pillows.
487
00:20:54,955 --> 00:20:57,790
That is exotic.
488
00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:59,959
You might want to hold off on the sex.
489
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,327
You two might be related.
490
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:13,506
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.