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---

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That's it for tonight.

3
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Time to count the tip jar.

4
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Hand condom.

5
00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:11,820
I can't believe you.

6
00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:14,620
Using protection is so five years ago.

7
00:00:15,010 --> 00:00:16,190
This is Williamsburg.

8
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:18,710
There's a good chance even the dollars have herpes.

9
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:20,460
Well, if those singles have herpes,

10
00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:22,040
they should just lie about it till they get married

11
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like everybody else does.

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Oh, good, you're still open.

13
00:00:26,310 --> 00:00:28,140
Oh, yes, we are. What can I get you?

14
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Everything in the register.

15
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,020
Oh, my God. It's a hipster hold-up.

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Hand it over. I have a gun.

17
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Well, I have a death wish so that's not gonna work.

18
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Look, pal, we work at this cupcake window 2:00 to 4:00,

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six nights a week,

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and that is after eight hours of slinging hash

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at the diner next door for lousy minimum wage,

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which a bunch of rich politicians out in--

23
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- help me out. - Washington.

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What she said-- don't wanna raise.

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Then, we walk home to our illegal one bedroom apartment,

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get three hours of Nyquil induced sleep

27
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before we have to get back up and share a bowl

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of Spanish language cheerios.

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It's the same thing but the "C" wears a sombrero.

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So, no, I am not about to give you our hard-earned money.

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And if you're gonna shoot me, better aim good.

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'cause if you miss, I will climb over this counter,

33
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tear off your head, and it'll be our new tip jar.

34
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Yeah, I just robbed Pizza Pizza.

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Here's a $20.

36
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Have a good night.

37
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I have a way with people.

38
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Look, I just saw that our cupcake competition,

39
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"Brooklyn Bitty Bites," went out of business.

40
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Yup, it's being changed into a medical marijuana store.

41
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I already have my hole-punch card.

42
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Buy four brownies and the fifth buzz is free.

43
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Brooklyn Bitty Bites bit it!

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Yeah! We won!

45
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Eat it, red haired lady and your asian daughter!

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Max, them going down right after the death

47
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of the cupcake giant, "Crumbs," is scary.

48
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It's like there's a serial killer out there

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coming after cupcakes.

50
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Well, he should be easy to outrun,

51
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'cause that'll be one fat Dexter.

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Seriously, we have a big problem.

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I'm back!

54
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And there's our little problem.

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Wow, you don't usually see the ventriloquist's dummy

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out of his suitcase alone.

57
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Hello, Earl. Hello, Caroline.

58
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Hello, reason I do two hours of phone therapy

59
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every Wednesday before work.

60
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So, did you all miss me?

61
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You were gone?

62
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'Cause I swear I just saw you yesterday.

63
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Wait, maybe that was a cat.

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I was gone, people!

65
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To San Francisco for a convention.

66
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The restaurant and diner association.

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"Radass."

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You were at something called "Radass" in San Francisco?

69
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Are you sure it wasn't "Redass"?

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00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:23,970
I am not gay. I'm restaurant curious.

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I discovered an exciting new item for our menu.

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No way. No new menu additions.

73
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I already lie awake in bed

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worrying about how high the food bar is here.

75
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Pick up! Pulled pork.

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And it's good 'cause before I pulled it,

77
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I gave it a dry rub.

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It's $4 toast.

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$4 toast?

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That's $5 more than our toast is worth.

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Delicious, homemade artisan bread.

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At first, I was reluctant to put something so big in my mouth.

83
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But the hot butter drizzling down my chin

84
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was my sticky reward.

85
00:04:11,890 --> 00:04:14,930
Han, that toast is trendy foodie food.

86
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It'll die here, like my soul did.

87
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Our customers are just plain, normal people.

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Hey, everybody!

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And sophie.

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Guess what?

91
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,500
78 guys want me on Tinder.

92
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Oh, 79!

93
00:04:35,290 --> 00:04:37,260
Now it's 80!

94
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,790
How long have you been on Tinder?

95
00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:41,530
Ten minutes!

96
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,120
Oh, look, oh, my gosh!

97
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,800
This guy's a plumber. Are you kidding me?

98
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Yes, that's a match!

99
00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:50,370
And this guy isn't even wearing a shirt!

100
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That's another big yes!

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Oh, gosh, girls, I'll be over here,

102
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looking at boys in my booth.

103
00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:02,750
Hey, I know a girl who met her husband on tinder.

104
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:05,220
No, wait, she saw her husband on tinder.

105
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,960
Hey, are wheelchairs sexy?

106
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,990
I guess it depends on who's in one.

107
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I say no.

108
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Hold the presses.

109
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I just got a new tweet from my gal,

110
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Kim Kardashian.

111
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Oh, she just bought her some new boots in Manhattan.

112
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Kim Kardashian is epic.

113
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She was on the cover of Vogue. She's on fire.

114
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So? I've been on fire.

115
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That's the last time I try witchcraft for the free snacks.

116
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I love the Kardashians.

117
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They're like the Kennedys but with bigger asses.

118
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Text me next time.

119
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This whole talking thing is insane.

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Hi!

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Who would I talk to about finding the owner

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of Max's Homemade Cupcakes?

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That's Max. I'm Caroline.

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We're the owners of this store.

125
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And about four pairs of socks.

126
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Great. Wonderful. Such a cute shop.

127
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Would you be interested in having a popular--

128
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Yes.

129
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I didn't finish my sentence.

130
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Sorry, I just haven't heard the word "popular" in so long.

131
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Oh, yeah, she's over.

132
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She's the Blockbuster video of people.

133
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Would you be interested in having

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a popular reality show filmed here?

135
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Y--

136
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I'm so sorry. I have to take this.

137
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Just a minute.

138
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What?

139
00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:30,920
Just say it already. Come on.

140
00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:34,470
Max, this is great. Think of the exposure.

141
00:06:34,470 --> 00:06:35,880
I wonder which reality show it is.

142
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,710
Ooh, maybe 16 and Pregnant is doing

143
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a "where are they now" segment and they found me.

144
00:06:42,430 --> 00:06:45,820
Or that one about you, "Here comes honey boobless."

145
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Do you have any idea who I am?

146
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:55,740
You just do what I say or you are out!

147
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Okay.

148
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Mommy loves you.

149
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,520
Sorry, my baby's Nigerian.

150
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I mean, if you're gonna live here, learn the language.

151
00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:06,350
Jeez.

152
00:07:07,990 --> 00:07:10,370
So what are we thinking?

153
00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:11,830
We'd love it. We're in. What show?

154
00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:13,470
Keeping up with the Kardashians.

155
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Finally, God opens a door.

156
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And I'm closing a window.

157
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Max!

158
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She's overwhelmed. Big fan.

159
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Do you have a card?

160
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And listen, text me.

161
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Don't call. It freaks me out.

162
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Just give me one good reason

163
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:31,150
why we shouldn't keep up with the Kardashians.

164
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:32,920
I'll give you five good reasons.

165
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:37,100
Kim, Kamber, Klondike...

166
00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:41,450
and the little ones, Krispy and Kreme.

167
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Not even close.

168
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:49,590
Fine. Kim, Kooky, Kool-aid,

169
00:07:49,590 --> 00:07:52,240
and the little ones, Kaptain and kangaroo.

170
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,050
It's Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kylie, and Kendall.

171
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That mother has some nerve, naming a kid

172
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,220
who's probably never even read a book "Kindle."

173
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We need this.

174
00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:06,390
Everyone watches Keeping up with the Kardashians.

175
00:08:06,390 --> 00:08:08,010
It's like Dancing with the Stars,

176
00:08:08,010 --> 00:08:09,210
but without the stars.

177
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So, Dancing with the Stars.

178
00:08:11,860 --> 00:08:16,590
Okay, tell me one good thing about this show that I hate,

179
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'cause I've never seen it.

180
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,010
Well, it's all about this family

181
00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:22,800
and their struggle to...

182
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,550
keep up.

183
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,080
Yeah, okay. I've never seen it either.

184
00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:40,700
Sophie, thank you so much for letting us come up

185
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,490
after work to watch your tv.

186
00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:45,240
Max turned our old one into a bong.

187
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,680
That was another time I was on fire.

188
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,470
Well, which episode do you want to watch?

189
00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:53,380
"Kim gets a new hat."

190
00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:57,690
or "Kylie cries at Coachella"?

191
00:08:57,690 --> 00:09:00,720
Or "Khloe gets a bikini wax"?

192
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,030
Now that one's a classic.

193
00:09:03,030 --> 00:09:05,460
How many of these do you have DVR'd?

194
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:08,710
Well, I got 17 on this tv

195
00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:11,640
and 53 on the one in the bedroom.

196
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,800
I like to go to sleep with the sound of Kim's voice.

197
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,530
It's so comforting when she says,

198
00:09:17,530 --> 00:09:22,400
"this is super awkward."

199
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,980
And you know, sometimes she arches her back

200
00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:28,150
when she says it, like this.

201
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:32,520
"This is super awkward."

202
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:37,250
This is super awkward.

203
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:40,910
You know, I bet you if I stayed in Poland,

204
00:09:40,910 --> 00:09:44,600
my sisters and I would have had our own show.

205
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,550
It would've been called, Keeping up with the Kachinskis.

206
00:09:48,550 --> 00:09:52,800
It's too bad we all didn't live to see 20.

207
00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:54,750
It's not cute.

208
00:09:55,510 --> 00:09:57,230
You know I need someone to make me laugh.

209
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,180
Where's kim? Kim is always late.

210
00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:05,260
Stop!

211
00:10:05,260 --> 00:10:06,370
Enough!

212
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:09,760
That's it, we're done.

213
00:10:10,290 --> 00:10:14,450
Hey, get the hell out! It's morning!

214
00:10:14,450 --> 00:10:16,310
I know, I know, but we couldn't stop

215
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:18,240
watching them do nothing.

216
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,780
This show is freaking genius!

217
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:24,020
Is the blonde one crying?

218
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:26,190
Mm-hmm. Kris and Kim are in Vienna

219
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,820
and someone stole Kris's Bottega bag

220
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:31,330
and her Chanel clutch with the matching pumps

221
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:34,540
that she bought in Paris.

222
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:39,600
All right, well, I have to go take my morning tinkle.

223
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:44,370
But when I come back, I want you two to be out of here

224
00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:49,420
because I need that swing for my exercises.

225
00:10:51,940 --> 00:10:53,800
We have to do this show.

226
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,690
It'll be so great for our business.

227
00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:57,420
The only way we'd get more exposure

228
00:10:57,420 --> 00:10:59,840
is if Orlando Bloom and Bieber bitchslapped each other

229
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,760
in front of our shop.

230
00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:05,270
Who cares about our business?

231
00:11:05,270 --> 00:11:08,290
I want that mother to adopt me!

232
00:11:08,670 --> 00:11:12,320
Her kid makes a sex tape, she turns it into millions.

233
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,770
The only thing my mother ever did with my sex tape

234
00:11:14,770 --> 00:11:17,250
was copy it and give it to her boyfriend.

235
00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:23,700
I'm so excited.

236
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,950
Max, this is what I look like when I'm happy.

237
00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:27,920
You've never seen it.

238
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,950
Please call me by my new name,

239
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:32,230
Khlamydia Kardashian.

240
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:38,080
Don't say anything stupid like that.

241
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,940
I won't have to say anything.

242
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:42,970
Kris will see me and recognize me as one of her own

243
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,280
with my lips, my boobs,

244
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:48,080
and my willingness to live in some place called calabasas.

245
00:11:48,570 --> 00:11:50,490
They're here. My life changes now!

246
00:11:50,490 --> 00:11:51,860
This is what I look like happy.

247
00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:53,500
You've never seen it.

248
00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:57,940
Hi, we are so, so excited about this.

249
00:11:57,940 --> 00:11:59,610
There has been a change.

250
00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:00,480
They're not coming.

251
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,410
It's too far to walk in heels.

252
00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:04,480
See? She might as well have been my real mom

253
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,380
'cause she just chose a heel over me.

254
00:12:07,670 --> 00:12:11,280
Hi, here I am to meet Kiki, my bff.

255
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,910
And look at my new dress! Twinsies!

256
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:17,680
They certainly are.

257
00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:20,260
Sorry, she's not coming.

258
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:23,070
We had to film them in jamba juice instead.

259
00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:29,220
Well, this is super awkward.

260
00:12:41,550 --> 00:12:43,180
Stupid Kardashians!

261
00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:44,920
Kim, Kankels, Krank,

262
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,710
and the little ones, kegel and kickball,

263
00:12:47,710 --> 00:12:50,210
You can kiss my keister.

264
00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:52,600
Max, stop it! I'm trying to sleep.

265
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,720
Well, sorry, but I'm pissed and it's 11:30 anyway.

266
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,230
What's going on?

267
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:59,880
Even one tweet from Kim would have exposed us

268
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,130
to 22 million followers.

269
00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:04,840
Scientology doesn't even have those numbers.

270
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,980
- They screwed us. - I know.

271
00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:09,190
That is why I'm making hate cupcakes

272
00:13:09,190 --> 00:13:10,880
for the Kardashians, see?

273
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,560
"Eat it," "Bite me,"

274
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:17,070
And these three... "Get" "A" "Job."

275
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:19,390
Oh, and one for the mom that says, "I still love you,"

276
00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:21,100
Just in case.

277
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,600
Now come on, get up.

278
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,750
Your son needs to go out and take an 8-foot crap.

279
00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:28,030
No, I'm done.

280
00:13:28,030 --> 00:13:30,410
If everyone's done with cupcakes, so am I.

281
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,450
I'm done pretending that everything's gonna work out.

282
00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:35,830
In our reality show, it's not.

283
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:39,350
Look, get up, or I will close this bed with you in it,

284
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:41,990
and your new reality show will be true life:

285
00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:44,020
I live in a wall.

286
00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:47,260
I'm not getting up. Ever.

287
00:13:49,430 --> 00:13:51,020
Max, stop, stop it! Stop it!

288
00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:52,950
Put me down! Put me down!

289
00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:56,980
What's happening?

290
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,010
I can't lift my head.

291
00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:00,360
Did I have a stroke?

292
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,500
Calm down. No one has stroked in your bed

293
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,840
since--what is it, going on a year?

294
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,110
Max. My hair is caught.

295
00:14:08,110 --> 00:14:10,320
My hair is caught! My hair is caught!

296
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:11,250
Who are you yelling at?

297
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:13,950
The whole situation! Do something!

298
00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:15,140
Let me look.

299
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:20,190
Oh yeah, it's all caught up in the bed gears here.

300
00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:22,160
Oh my God, I have a bed with gears

301
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,740
and my hair is caught in it!

302
00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:28,150
Ooh, nope.

303
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,390
It's really all stuck up in there.

304
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:31,980
It's so odd.

305
00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:34,670
I don't know how a thing like this could happen.

306
00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:38,840
Uh, you put me up into the wall.

307
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,630
And now I'm trapped in a murphy bed

308
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,310
like some welfare Rapunzel.

309
00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:45,180
Stop panicking, I'll get a scissors.

310
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:46,670
Oh, yeah, yeah! Get the scissors.

311
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:47,940
Then plunge 'em into my heart

312
00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:51,000
'cause I'd rather die than cut my hair.

313
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,920
Okay, Max, I think I have something that might work,

314
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,700
But you have to promise me

315
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,410
that you will never bring this up again.

316
00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:00,940
What? The fact that your head is stuck to your bed?

317
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,310
Sorry, that's coming up again.

318
00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:05,880
Go into my nightstand

319
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,640
and get my cinnamon-flavored make-up remover.

320
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,450
You mean the lube?

321
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,680
Can we please call it make-up remover?

322
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,150
Please! I need us to do that.

323
00:15:18,380 --> 00:15:20,050
It's almost empty.

324
00:15:20,050 --> 00:15:23,720
Man, you've removed a lot of make-up.

325
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,430
Stop it! Just squeeze some out

326
00:15:25,430 --> 00:15:27,760
and put it on the parts that we need to move.

327
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,690
Yeah, I'm familiar.

328
00:15:35,190 --> 00:15:37,210
Please tell me it's working.

329
00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:38,520
I'm trying, but...

330
00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:41,680
I don't think I can get your hair out.

331
00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:45,420
Good news is, I think we can fit a penis in there.

332
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,030
Who could that be?

333
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:51,180
A rapist we've done most of the work for.

334
00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:01,160
Oh, we were just talking about you.

335
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,070
Max, you gotta help me with the bread for Han's toast.

336
00:16:04,070 --> 00:16:05,800
I've already burned ten of these.

337
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:10,380
Turns out the only thing I can successfully bake is meth.

338
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,200
Oleg, come to the bed. I need you!

339
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,010
All right!

340
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:20,400
Only took you four years, but I'm here, baby.

341
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,140
No, it's not like that, Oleg.

342
00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:23,730
Just get over here!

343
00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:24,760
Okay.

344
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,150
Hold this.

345
00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:38,550
Earl, what are you doing here?

346
00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:40,880
Oleg called me when he couldn't get Caroline

347
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,210
to stop the screaming.

348
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:47,470
Hi, Max. Earl gave me part of a brownie.

349
00:16:48,220 --> 00:16:50,890
Turns out, glaucoma and having hair stuck

350
00:16:50,890 --> 00:16:53,880
take the exact same prescription.

351
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:55,950
Look!

352
00:16:55,950 --> 00:16:57,800
That's right, you mothers!

353
00:16:58,190 --> 00:16:59,430
I did it!

354
00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:02,040
I made the perfect bread!

355
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:09,520
You're a chef who took 19 hours to make one loaf of bread.

356
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:13,270
Stephen Hawking was more successful at the 100-yard dash.

357
00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:16,450
And you-- you are aware

358
00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:18,720
that I went all the way into Manhattan,

359
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,870
cupcake-bombed Kim Kardashian's hotel,

360
00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:22,630
and you're still just laying here, right?

361
00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:24,010
Didn't you have to pee?

362
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,910
I held most of it in.

363
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,160
This is crazy. You've been here all day.

364
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,220
Let's just cut your damn hair already.

365
00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:33,930
I wouldn't be me without my hair.

366
00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:35,670
I can't live without it.

367
00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:36,950
Yes, you can.

368
00:17:36,950 --> 00:17:38,560
You have lived without money,

369
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,150
You've lived without electricity,

370
00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:41,980
You've lived without plumbing.

371
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:43,810
What do you think got me through it?

372
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:44,640
My hair.

373
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,300
I'd be like, "Lost all my money, the toilet's clogged,

374
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,230
still got my hair."

375
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,100
Darling, I don't think those brownies are kicking in.

376
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:56,200
I also have some lollipops.

377
00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:00,300
I hope you're happy.

378
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,960
I didn't see anything through the peep-hole,

379
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,150
So I'm guessing it's Han.

380
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,570
Ah, hello!

381
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,580
I have an open diner and no diner staff!

382
00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:14,440
Han, look, I made perfect bread.

383
00:18:16,990 --> 00:18:18,840
It's bigger than I'm used to.

384
00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:23,040
Let me just take a minute and breathe.

385
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,630
And I'm sure I can take it all in.

386
00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:29,250
Well, if you need any help,

387
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,570
Caroline's got some make-up remover.

388
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:38,220
Kiki tweet, Kiki tweet, Kiki tweet!

389
00:18:38,220 --> 00:18:40,300
She's saying "Kiki tweet"!

390
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:43,160
How did he understand that? Is he part dolphin?

391
00:18:45,890 --> 00:18:48,880
Kim Kardashian tweeted a pic of my mean cupcakes

392
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:53,920
and said, "Max's Homemade Cupcakes #notcool."

393
00:18:55,540 --> 00:19:01,470
Oh, my God, Kim Kardashian hates someone I know!

394
00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:05,860
That went out to 22 million people!

395
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:07,730
- I'm so sorry. - Why?

396
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:11,050
Do you know how many people can't stand the Kardashians?

397
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:13,520
Our cupcake window will be packed!

398
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:14,910
Cut me loose.

399
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:21,360
Hey, Caroline, we're finally about to scissor.

400
00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:23,260
Are you sure?

401
00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:24,740
We got a business to run.

402
00:19:24,740 --> 00:19:26,380
Cut it, I'll be fine.

403
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:43,160
Yeah, you're gonna need that lollipop.

404
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,780
Yeah, I know, those Kardashians are the worst.

405
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:53,940
That's why I don't keep up with them anymore.

406
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,830
All right, Max. Okay, that's it.

407
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,870
Just one left. Not bad.

408
00:19:59,870 --> 00:20:01,540
And your hair's not bad either.

409
00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:02,700
Yeah, now,

410
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,700
after the emergency trip to that salon.

411
00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:05,630
When you got done with me,

412
00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:08,120
I looked like a baby bird on chemo.

413
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:10,640
I'm sorry I had to use the last of our savings for my hair cut.

414
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,300
- No, you're not. - No, I am not, I love this.

415
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:27,070
Hi, I'm Kim.

416
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,720
I just wanted to say sorry

417
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,830
that we didn't film here the other day.

418
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:34,380
It almost hurts to look at her.

419
00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:37,330
I know how hard us girls really work

420
00:20:37,330 --> 00:20:38,690
to keep our businesses going,

421
00:20:38,690 --> 00:20:40,000
So I'll take a cupcake

422
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,570
and I'll totally tweet about it for real.

423
00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:44,470
Thank you so much.

424
00:20:44,470 --> 00:20:45,880
Here, here, here, here, here.

425
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,500
We can't break a $100, and anyway,

426
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,050
this is so on the house.

427
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,300
Oh, thanks.

428
00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:56,170
Cute hair.

429
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:58,810
Wait. Real quick...

430
00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:01,960
Do you think your mother would adopt me?

431
00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:05,560
This is super awkward.

432
00:21:05,561 --> 00:21:48,000
---