1
00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:02,034
[rock music]
2
00:00:02,749 --> 00:00:04,416
Girls, I need your attention.
3
00:00:04,417 --> 00:00:07,886
You also need a booster
seat for most places.
4
00:00:07,887 --> 00:00:10,922
No, I came out to tell
you some big news.
5
00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,758
You also came out when
you wore that sweater
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to work today.
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John Mayer wore this sweater in Details.
8
00:00:18,364 --> 00:00:21,466
Tonight, we are trying
family-style service.
9
00:00:21,467 --> 00:00:23,692
I thought family-style
service was what I had to do
10
00:00:23,693 --> 00:00:25,904
with my uncle.
11
00:00:25,905 --> 00:00:29,107
Well, my family-style
is more "potluck"...
12
00:00:29,108 --> 00:00:33,945
heavy on the pot, not
so heavy on the luck.
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Why would a family come here?
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If I see a child in here,
I'm calling the police.
15
00:00:40,419 --> 00:00:43,588
It's like seeing a dog
locked in a hot car.
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Chicken cacciatore, family-style.
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00:00:46,359 --> 00:00:48,960
Liver and onions, family-style.
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00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:52,063
Spaghetti and meatballs,
my family-style,
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00:00:52,064 --> 00:00:54,599
which means the balls are kinda small,
20
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but the noodles are extra long.
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You bring out the food in large bowls
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00:01:01,874 --> 00:01:03,842
and the customers serve themselves,
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as they've been doing
since I hired you two.
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Good idea, Han.
25
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The diner food does
belong in a big bowl...
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00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:14,652
the toilet bowl.
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I don't know what your uncle saw in you.
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(Peter Bjorn and John)
♪ Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh ♪
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[cash register bell dings]
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Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
31
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Max, I just found something
32
00:01:37,244 --> 00:01:39,045
very upsetting on my phone.
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Another free U2 album?
34
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Worse.
35
00:01:44,151 --> 00:01:46,818
And worse than an e-vite
to a friend's improv show.
36
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It's an e-mail from
the managing director
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of all The High restaurants
saying he's seen our sales
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and is disappointed with my performance.
39
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Duh-lete...
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like I do with all
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00:02:00,467 --> 00:02:02,316
the "disappointed in
your performance" texts
42
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I get from guys after sex.
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00:02:04,872 --> 00:02:07,874
Sorry, gents! My boobs make a promise
44
00:02:07,875 --> 00:02:10,810
my bad back can't deliver.
45
00:02:10,811 --> 00:02:14,013
Those bad sales numbers
are not our fault.
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00:02:14,014 --> 00:02:15,848
Our unit's out at the airport.
47
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Well, I'm not taking ownership of this
48
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because my unit is not at the airport.
49
00:02:19,219 --> 00:02:22,021
It's in my bed table drawer.
50
00:02:22,022 --> 00:02:24,790
I'm the manager. It's on me.
51
00:02:24,791 --> 00:02:28,260
As is this tartar stain.
It just refuses to come out.
52
00:02:28,261 --> 00:02:31,797
You'd think it's parents were Baptist.
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[bell rings]
54
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Well, Manager, I need
to get out of there
55
00:02:35,102 --> 00:02:36,869
early tomorrow to do
Sophie's wedding cake,
56
00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:40,339
and also because you're
annoying as a boss.
57
00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:42,807
Hey, everybody!
58
00:02:44,777 --> 00:02:50,516
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me...
59
00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:54,086
I love being a bride. You
don't even have to pretend
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00:02:54,087 --> 00:02:56,855
it's about anyone else.
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00:02:56,856 --> 00:02:59,024
Kinda like me, when I was rich.
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Pretty much every single day still.
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Good news, bad news. The good news is
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the rash is not spreading past my nuts.
65
00:03:10,537 --> 00:03:13,705
And that's the good news.
66
00:03:13,706 --> 00:03:16,108
Bad news... the wedding donkey we booked
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for the church service died.
68
00:03:19,579 --> 00:03:21,747
I'll ask the obvious question.
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00:03:21,748 --> 00:03:25,784
Did it have anything
to do with the rash?
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00:03:25,785 --> 00:03:27,619
I mean, what are we gonna do?
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00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,154
It's not a traditional Polish wedding
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00:03:29,155 --> 00:03:32,724
without an ass walking down the aisle.
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00:03:32,725 --> 00:03:36,328
I think Oleg's got that covered.
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00:03:36,329 --> 00:03:39,698
Girls, we need an ass,
you have a horse...
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00:03:39,699 --> 00:03:41,633
same family, but not related,
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00:03:41,634 --> 00:03:46,104
like the Jolie-Pitt kids.
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No way. Chestnut is my baby.
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00:03:48,641 --> 00:03:51,343
Well, the donkey was
getting a thousand bucks.
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Baby's gotta work.
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[rock music]
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Wow, business is slower
than the third season
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00:03:57,416 --> 00:04:00,852
of House of Cards.
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00:04:00,853 --> 00:04:02,554
You know what's doing great business?
84
00:04:02,555 --> 00:04:06,491
It's my new Grindr profile.
85
00:04:06,492 --> 00:04:11,429
Changed my screen name
to "Suction Junction".
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00:04:11,430 --> 00:04:14,532
That damn Cinnabon next door
is taking all our business.
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What kind of low lives
would prefer those
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to these fine desserts?
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I found a secret pathway
to the Cinnabon kitchen!
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Move, bitch!
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00:04:25,978 --> 00:04:28,880
Really? You too? I just don't get it.
92
00:04:28,881 --> 00:04:32,950
It's an acquired taste,
like crystal meth.
93
00:04:32,951 --> 00:04:34,218
[cell phone chimes]
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Ugh.
95
00:04:35,688 --> 00:04:38,323
Great. My waiter's gonna be late again.
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00:04:38,324 --> 00:04:40,191
"Held up at the TSA line."
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That's what I get for
hiring an airport waiter
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00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:44,594
named Mohammed Machdinajihad.
99
00:04:47,498 --> 00:04:49,233
Oh, look, Ronnie, a new place.
100
00:04:49,234 --> 00:04:52,570
I see it, Bonnie, I'm right next to you.
101
00:04:52,571 --> 00:04:54,505
Didn't this used to be
the bar we got wasted in
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00:04:54,506 --> 00:04:56,007
before our flights?
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00:04:56,008 --> 00:04:57,475
I can't remember. I was wasted.
104
00:04:57,476 --> 00:04:59,010
[both laugh]
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00:04:59,011 --> 00:05:00,311
Welcome to The High...
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the finest in high quality desserts.
107
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We also have yogurts,
cappuccinos, lattes, coffee,
108
00:05:05,450 --> 00:05:06,951
herb teas, or smart waters.
109
00:05:06,952 --> 00:05:09,987
And did I mention
we're a Boingo Hotspot?
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00:05:09,988 --> 00:05:11,989
Take it down a notch.
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00:05:11,990 --> 00:05:13,491
You're selling it harder
than Anne Hathaway
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00:05:13,492 --> 00:05:15,559
on The Tonight Show.
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Oh, hi, I'm not here
to buy, just to look.
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On a diet... since 1998.
115
00:05:21,967 --> 00:05:23,500
Oh dear lord, those look amazing.
116
00:05:23,501 --> 00:05:25,669
- Can I just smell a piece?
- Bonnie, don't.
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00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:27,938
It'll get you going, and
then halfway to Paris,
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00:05:27,939 --> 00:05:31,475
I'll find you in coach binging
on a bag of Sun Chips.
119
00:05:31,476 --> 00:05:33,210
That's my favorite thing about the job.
120
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[both laughing]
121
00:05:36,047 --> 00:05:37,781
Oh, Paris reminds me.
122
00:05:37,782 --> 00:05:39,616
I bought two first class
tickets to Paris...
123
00:05:39,617 --> 00:05:41,418
on three credit cards
that will escalate 20%
124
00:05:41,419 --> 00:05:43,253
over six years... anyway...
125
00:05:43,254 --> 00:05:44,855
I really need to return them.
126
00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:46,356
What's the window on
that with your airline?
127
00:05:46,357 --> 00:05:48,859
A month... about the same
amount of time I have
128
00:05:48,860 --> 00:05:52,029
until this fake smile
finally falls off my face.
129
00:05:52,030 --> 00:05:53,697
Lady, we're flight attendants.
130
00:05:53,698 --> 00:05:55,365
If that smile falls off your face,
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00:05:55,366 --> 00:05:58,769
you're gonna have to
get a job at Southwest.
132
00:05:58,770 --> 00:06:00,525
Why are you returning them?
You don't like Paris?
133
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:03,006
J'adore Paris, but long story short...
134
00:06:03,007 --> 00:06:04,808
Uh, I'll make it short
because she's incapable
135
00:06:04,809 --> 00:06:07,511
and will throw in lots
more of that fake French.
136
00:06:07,512 --> 00:06:09,442
Bought the tickets so that
I could get to the gate
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00:06:09,443 --> 00:06:10,747
to see a guy I was banging.
138
00:06:10,748 --> 00:06:12,349
I hear ya.
139
00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:14,184
I once hid in the luggage
cart for 12 hours
140
00:06:14,185 --> 00:06:15,485
to do it with this cute guy
141
00:06:15,486 --> 00:06:16,953
who works at Customs here.
142
00:06:16,954 --> 00:06:19,456
Oh, right. Rick. What's he doing now?
143
00:06:19,457 --> 00:06:20,957
Me, every third Tuesday.
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00:06:20,958 --> 00:06:23,193
[laughing]
145
00:06:23,194 --> 00:06:25,462
Ahh, don't leave me hanging, ladies.
146
00:06:25,463 --> 00:06:27,030
Ah. If we hadn't just read Lean In
147
00:06:27,031 --> 00:06:29,699
in our wine club... I mean book club...
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00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,768
We'd be real jealous of you gals.
149
00:06:31,769 --> 00:06:33,937
We always had a dream to
open a shop at the airport.
150
00:06:33,938 --> 00:06:35,305
Well, whatever it is, just don't open
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00:06:35,306 --> 00:06:37,274
near a Cinnabon because failure smells
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00:06:37,275 --> 00:06:39,709
a hell of a lot like cinnamon.
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00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:41,177
(female voice) Final boarding call
154
00:06:41,178 --> 00:06:43,380
for flight 24 to Paris.
Final boarding call.
155
00:06:43,381 --> 00:06:45,749
Final boarding call? We better hurry.
156
00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:48,417
[both laughing]
157
00:07:01,670 --> 00:07:04,306
Wow, everything looks
so much smaller in here
158
00:07:04,307 --> 00:07:05,908
than I remembered it.
159
00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:07,809
Like returning to your
old high school...
160
00:07:07,810 --> 00:07:10,979
or your old high school
boyfriend's penis.
161
00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:14,315
Not mine. I went to
an urban high school.
162
00:07:15,817 --> 00:07:17,653
What's that weird smell?
163
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,821
Probably that milk.
It's been in here so long,
164
00:07:19,822 --> 00:07:23,358
its own photo was on the carton.
165
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:29,231
No, it's over here. Really pungent.
166
00:07:29,232 --> 00:07:31,232
Yes!
167
00:07:36,538 --> 00:07:41,776
Mm... I might owe you two some rent.
168
00:07:41,777 --> 00:07:43,979
Unless you wanna settle in weed.
169
00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:46,581
I always wanna settle in weed.
170
00:07:46,582 --> 00:07:49,484
In fact, I plan to retire there.
171
00:07:49,485 --> 00:07:51,086
Marijuana's in the closet?
172
00:07:51,087 --> 00:07:54,154
This is more shocking than
Meredith Baxter-Birney.
173
00:07:56,157 --> 00:07:59,461
Look, I figured since you two
abandoned the cupcake shop,
174
00:07:59,462 --> 00:08:01,229
this space was available.
175
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,231
Also, I stopped asking
permission for stuff
176
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,400
when I turned 70.
177
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,135
We did not abandon it.
178
00:08:07,136 --> 00:08:09,070
We just haven't paid
attention to it in 3 months,
179
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:11,739
like me with any hair
above my mid-thigh.
180
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:12,907
Tell me about it.
181
00:08:12,908 --> 00:08:14,609
When you bend over in that skirt,
182
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:17,270
it looks like you're giving
birth to Art Garfunkel.
183
00:08:20,882 --> 00:08:24,786
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
184
00:08:24,787 --> 00:08:27,555
Oh, good. Earl, you're here.
185
00:08:27,556 --> 00:08:32,794
Yes, I am. Don't tell
any of my ex-wives.
186
00:08:32,795 --> 00:08:34,929
Earl, would you do me the honor
187
00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:37,565
and walk me down the
aisle tomorrow night?
188
00:08:37,566 --> 00:08:39,100
Sophie, sorry.
189
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:40,568
I didn't know your father was dead.
190
00:08:40,569 --> 00:08:44,005
Did he die upon meeting Oleg?
191
00:08:44,006 --> 00:08:45,640
Oh, he's not dead,
192
00:08:45,641 --> 00:08:49,542
but I'm not getting
upstaged by an iron lung.
193
00:08:51,412 --> 00:08:52,980
Well, Earl, how could you say no
194
00:08:52,981 --> 00:08:55,516
to such a heartfelt request?
195
00:08:55,517 --> 00:08:57,151
I'd be honored, Sophie.
196
00:08:57,152 --> 00:08:58,586
Like the wedding saying goes,
197
00:08:58,587 --> 00:09:00,821
Something old, something new,
198
00:09:00,822 --> 00:09:01,922
something borrowed,
199
00:09:01,923 --> 00:09:05,292
and someone black.
200
00:09:05,293 --> 00:09:07,094
Oh, Caroline, look.
201
00:09:07,095 --> 00:09:09,263
Here are the pink ribbons for Chestnut.
202
00:09:09,264 --> 00:09:12,500
Chestnut has to be
covered in girly ribbons?
203
00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:14,401
I can't do that to my boy.
204
00:09:14,402 --> 00:09:15,936
I'll throw in another 50.
205
00:09:15,937 --> 00:09:17,805
I guess there's a reason "horse" sounds
206
00:09:17,806 --> 00:09:20,441
so much like "whore."
207
00:09:20,442 --> 00:09:23,911
Now, we're all gonna leave
for the church at 6:00,
208
00:09:23,912 --> 00:09:26,213
but I told Earl 4:00,
209
00:09:26,214 --> 00:09:29,816
'cause, well... You know.
210
00:09:35,889 --> 00:09:38,692
- ♪ Mm-hm hm hmm ♪
- What's happening over there?
211
00:09:38,693 --> 00:09:40,127
Max, you're humming!
212
00:09:40,128 --> 00:09:41,428
[scoffs] What?
213
00:09:41,429 --> 00:09:43,363
[laughs] Please...
214
00:09:43,364 --> 00:09:44,598
I am not a hummer.
215
00:09:44,599 --> 00:09:45,833
I mean, I'll drive in them,
216
00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:49,570
I'll give them, but I am not one.
217
00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:51,338
[continues humming]
218
00:09:51,339 --> 00:09:54,041
Oh, my God, I am humming!
What's wrong with me?
219
00:09:54,042 --> 00:09:56,642
What am I gonna do next, smile?
220
00:09:58,912 --> 00:10:00,680
That's right! Today's special promotion,
221
00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:03,183
in and out in five minutes
or your dessert is half off.
222
00:10:03,184 --> 00:10:05,485
Eat it, Cinnabon.
223
00:10:05,486 --> 00:10:08,021
Pear tart and a coffee.
Come on, I'm on a clock here.
224
00:10:08,022 --> 00:10:10,624
Who had the damn pear tart and a coffee?
225
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,859
Max, hurry! Five minutes, in and out!
226
00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:14,530
Yeah, the one thing
you don't have to explain
227
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,229
to me is "in and out."
228
00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:18,331
I need help! I never said I was fast.
229
00:10:18,332 --> 00:10:19,733
All my high school
guidance counselors did,
230
00:10:19,734 --> 00:10:21,368
but I did not.
231
00:10:21,369 --> 00:10:22,736
I'll go get John off break
232
00:10:22,737 --> 00:10:24,170
because my waiter still isn't here.
233
00:10:24,171 --> 00:10:25,472
This whole Middle East situation
234
00:10:25,473 --> 00:10:28,173
is just so inconvenient for me.
235
00:10:30,276 --> 00:10:32,112
Okay, now we have a real situation.
236
00:10:32,113 --> 00:10:34,147
You hit someone. Damn it, Max.
237
00:10:34,148 --> 00:10:36,149
It's not about me. It's Sophie.
238
00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:37,617
Her gown arrived from Poland
239
00:10:37,618 --> 00:10:40,487
and it's stuck in customs out here.
240
00:10:40,488 --> 00:10:41,955
(Sophie on phone) My gown!
241
00:10:41,956 --> 00:10:43,623
My beautiful gown!
242
00:10:43,624 --> 00:10:46,893
[screaming] Oh, my God! My gown!
243
00:10:46,894 --> 00:10:48,895
Wow. She is really upset.
244
00:10:48,896 --> 00:10:50,363
Really upset,
245
00:10:50,364 --> 00:10:53,165
'cause this isn't even on speaker.
246
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,437
Yes, it's awful, but
look on the bright side.
247
00:10:57,438 --> 00:10:59,672
Our certain-to-be-hideous
bridesmaids dresses
248
00:10:59,673 --> 00:11:01,307
are stuck in customs too.
249
00:11:01,308 --> 00:11:03,676
No, those arrived.
250
00:11:03,677 --> 00:11:05,578
Damn it! First, it's the Middle East,
251
00:11:05,579 --> 00:11:06,746
now those dresses.
252
00:11:06,747 --> 00:11:09,247
I cannot catch a break.
253
00:11:10,049 --> 00:11:12,085
Wow, this place is packed.
254
00:11:12,086 --> 00:11:13,753
Remember us? Bonnie and Ronnie?
255
00:11:13,754 --> 00:11:15,755
We knew you when.
256
00:11:15,756 --> 00:11:17,256
Hey, wait, uh, Ronnie,
257
00:11:17,257 --> 00:11:19,192
didn't you say that you
boned a guy in customs?
258
00:11:19,193 --> 00:11:21,494
That was Bonnie. I have standards...
259
00:11:21,495 --> 00:11:24,130
and he didn't like me.
260
00:11:24,131 --> 00:11:26,599
To be clear, I did have
sex with the customs guy,
261
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,000
but not in customs.
262
00:11:28,001 --> 00:11:31,070
It was in one of those family bathrooms.
263
00:11:31,071 --> 00:11:32,872
Look, is there any way you could help us
264
00:11:32,873 --> 00:11:34,640
get a package out of customs?
265
00:11:34,641 --> 00:11:37,109
Wait... What bra am I wearing?
266
00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:38,678
Oh, done!
267
00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:40,212
[both laugh]
268
00:11:40,213 --> 00:11:43,582
John, we're leaving. You're in charge.
269
00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:45,584
Max! We can't leave right now.
270
00:11:45,585 --> 00:11:47,514
The wedding's not till tonight
and we're in the middle
271
00:11:47,515 --> 00:11:49,488
of a store promotion and we're losing.
272
00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:51,590
You know I'm gonna kill you, right?
273
00:11:51,591 --> 00:11:53,125
I just have to figure out how.
274
00:11:53,126 --> 00:11:54,660
Top contender is hooking your necklace
275
00:11:54,661 --> 00:11:56,862
on the front gate and pushing up.
276
00:11:56,863 --> 00:11:58,597
We'll stay as late as possible.
277
00:11:58,598 --> 00:12:01,467
Just pick up Sophie's dress
box and hop on the subway.
278
00:12:01,468 --> 00:12:06,305
Easy peasy.
279
00:12:06,306 --> 00:12:08,013
(male announcer)
Watch the closing doors, please.
280
00:12:08,014 --> 00:12:09,308
[struggling] Ugh... oho...
281
00:12:09,309 --> 00:12:11,944
Why is nothing easy peasy?
282
00:12:11,945 --> 00:12:14,445
♪ ♪
283
00:12:20,011 --> 00:12:20,945
♪ ♪
284
00:12:20,946 --> 00:12:22,947
(male voice) Watch the
closing doors, please.
285
00:12:22,948 --> 00:12:24,682
I am watching the doors!
286
00:12:24,683 --> 00:12:26,717
It's hard not to. They're
about to eat my box.
287
00:12:26,718 --> 00:12:28,185
[laughing]
288
00:12:28,186 --> 00:12:29,920
[mocking laugh]
289
00:12:29,921 --> 00:12:31,255
Yeah, real funny, sir.
290
00:12:31,256 --> 00:12:33,916
A girl said, "Eat my box." Grow up.
291
00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:38,896
[whimper] Jeez! How could
a dress be this big?
292
00:12:38,897 --> 00:12:41,932
This is just the veil.
293
00:12:41,933 --> 00:12:43,200
I have to get something out of my bag.
294
00:12:43,201 --> 00:12:44,735
Hold this by yourself for a second.
295
00:12:44,736 --> 00:12:48,172
[groans]
296
00:12:48,173 --> 00:12:50,374
I can't find it. Here, take this.
297
00:12:50,375 --> 00:12:51,875
What is this?
298
00:12:51,876 --> 00:12:53,544
A hundred dollars in change.
299
00:12:53,545 --> 00:12:55,389
We need it for the wedding.
It's a Polish custom
300
00:12:55,390 --> 00:12:56,446
to throw change at the bride.
301
00:12:56,447 --> 00:12:58,849
Loose change? Live animals?
302
00:12:58,850 --> 00:13:02,319
Is this a wedding or a cock fight?
303
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:03,754
Max, this is heavy!
304
00:13:03,755 --> 00:13:05,222
What do you have to get out of your bag?
305
00:13:05,223 --> 00:13:07,724
- Something important.
- What is it?
306
00:13:07,725 --> 00:13:10,060
The rest of my Cinnabon.
307
00:13:10,061 --> 00:13:11,962
Max, that's our competition!
308
00:13:11,963 --> 00:13:13,997
The reason for our failure
is that piece of crap.
309
00:13:13,998 --> 00:13:15,565
I mean, I ca...
310
00:13:15,566 --> 00:13:18,934
Oh, my God, this is delicious!
311
00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:22,439
No! Max, he's got the money bag.
312
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,641
[yelp] [scattering coins]
313
00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:27,744
No... No! No, no, no!
314
00:13:27,745 --> 00:13:30,313
That is our Polish bride money!
315
00:13:30,314 --> 00:13:31,748
Back off!
316
00:13:31,749 --> 00:13:33,450
This is not the day
to the screw with me.
317
00:13:33,451 --> 00:13:34,851
I'm at the business bottom
318
00:13:34,852 --> 00:13:37,587
and I've had nothing to lose since 2011.
319
00:13:37,588 --> 00:13:42,459
[screeching brakes] [loud clunk]
320
00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:44,761
(male voice) Queen's Plaza.
321
00:13:44,762 --> 00:13:48,498
Yup. That's what would happen next.
322
00:13:48,499 --> 00:13:51,434
[rock music]
323
00:13:51,435 --> 00:13:56,573
♪ ♪
324
00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:58,441
What's the hold up back there?
325
00:13:58,442 --> 00:14:00,710
People are placing bets
that I'm halfway to Reno
326
00:14:00,711 --> 00:14:03,613
with a hooker and the wedding cash.
327
00:14:03,614 --> 00:14:05,415
Relax. After that subway,
328
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:08,117
Max and Caroline needed
some time to freshen up.
329
00:14:08,118 --> 00:14:10,363
They came smelling
like that diner cheese
330
00:14:10,364 --> 00:14:13,966
I tell you all is still good.
331
00:14:13,967 --> 00:14:17,236
Hey, everybody!
332
00:14:17,237 --> 00:14:20,206
We look just like Sophie!
I am so relieved.
333
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:23,776
I thought I'd be way overdressed
but I'm just under-boobed.
334
00:14:23,777 --> 00:14:25,077
Yeah, we were in a hurry
335
00:14:25,078 --> 00:14:26,912
or I would have loaned
her a cup of mine.
336
00:14:26,913 --> 00:14:29,315
All right.
337
00:14:29,316 --> 00:14:31,784
Oleg, stop looking at us like that.
338
00:14:31,785 --> 00:14:35,454
It's okay. I'm marrying you.
339
00:14:35,455 --> 00:14:38,190
You guys look like the Four Tops.
340
00:14:38,191 --> 00:14:41,592
Well, two tops and a bottom.
341
00:14:45,264 --> 00:14:47,132
Oleg, Sophie doesn't
want you to see her.
342
00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:49,535
Jump on Chestnut and
start down the aisle.
343
00:14:49,536 --> 00:14:51,470
And Chestnut, I'm sorry, baby.
344
00:14:51,471 --> 00:14:56,007
I know you never wanted to do drag.
345
00:14:57,076 --> 00:14:58,944
And, Han, you're supposed to take this
346
00:14:58,945 --> 00:15:01,780
in case something happens in the aisle.
347
00:15:01,781 --> 00:15:05,317
This just went from
best man to worst job.
348
00:15:05,318 --> 00:15:08,253
[bombastic music]
349
00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:16,627
♪ ♪
350
00:15:19,765 --> 00:15:21,432
♪ Hey! ♪
351
00:15:24,236 --> 00:15:26,505
Hi.
352
00:15:26,506 --> 00:15:28,073
What do you think, girls?
353
00:15:28,074 --> 00:15:31,810
Do I look like a virgin?
354
00:15:31,811 --> 00:15:33,678
[horns sound]
355
00:15:33,679 --> 00:15:37,015
I heard the tubas. That's my cue!
Go, girls. Go!
356
00:15:37,016 --> 00:15:39,951
[brassy folk music]
357
00:15:39,952 --> 00:15:48,325
♪ ♪
358
00:16:03,975 --> 00:16:12,349
♪ ♪
359
00:16:16,921 --> 00:16:18,589
Oh, God!
360
00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:20,191
Her dress almost killed us
361
00:16:20,192 --> 00:16:21,992
and now it killed Earl.
362
00:16:24,128 --> 00:16:25,663
[gasps] Thanks.
363
00:16:25,664 --> 00:16:28,031
I thought I was a goner.
364
00:16:30,201 --> 00:16:32,270
[organ music]
365
00:16:32,271 --> 00:16:35,206
Time for the vows.
366
00:16:35,207 --> 00:16:39,744
Bring the crowns!
367
00:16:39,745 --> 00:16:42,246
And crowned is married...
368
00:16:42,247 --> 00:16:47,250
[drawn out] with honor.
369
00:16:48,819 --> 00:16:51,055
Ohhh...
370
00:16:51,056 --> 00:16:54,591
Raise the crowns to their heads.
371
00:17:05,002 --> 00:17:06,737
Better go. This is as good as
372
00:17:06,738 --> 00:17:09,973
it's gonna get without a ladder.
373
00:17:11,308 --> 00:17:15,712
I, Sophie Kachinsky...
374
00:17:19,850 --> 00:17:24,688
take you, Oleg Golishevsky
375
00:17:24,689 --> 00:17:27,024
to love and to cherish,
376
00:17:27,025 --> 00:17:29,860
to have and to hold,
377
00:17:29,861 --> 00:17:32,563
never to leave your side
378
00:17:32,564 --> 00:17:36,233
'til death comes to take me.
379
00:17:36,234 --> 00:17:40,270
I, Oleg Golishevsky,
380
00:17:40,271 --> 00:17:43,006
take you, Sophie Kachinsky,
381
00:17:43,007 --> 00:17:45,008
to love and to cherish,
382
00:17:45,009 --> 00:17:47,411
to have and to hold,
383
00:17:47,412 --> 00:17:49,112
never to leave your side
384
00:17:49,113 --> 00:17:52,314
'til death comes to take me.
385
00:17:54,651 --> 00:17:59,156
I pronounce you husband and wife!
386
00:17:59,157 --> 00:18:01,524
[applause]
387
00:18:02,826 --> 00:18:05,928
Max, now you throw the coins.
388
00:18:07,197 --> 00:18:09,365
[coins clunking faintly]
389
00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:11,800
Long story.
390
00:18:15,405 --> 00:18:17,073
Wow, girl, your fingers work fast.
391
00:18:17,074 --> 00:18:19,209
[giggles] Must be from years
392
00:18:19,210 --> 00:18:22,112
of opening those 501 button-fly jeans...
393
00:18:22,113 --> 00:18:24,180
Mine and others'.
394
00:18:24,181 --> 00:18:26,249
Max, I'm done waiting. I need that piece
395
00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:27,784
of cake right now.
396
00:18:27,785 --> 00:18:29,452
We just had a close call in the air.
397
00:18:29,453 --> 00:18:31,588
So close, we gave the
finger to the pilot
398
00:18:31,589 --> 00:18:34,290
in the plane next to us.
399
00:18:34,291 --> 00:18:35,592
We almost crashed, and I didn't wanna
400
00:18:35,593 --> 00:18:37,060
go down screaming,
401
00:18:37,061 --> 00:18:39,596
"I should have opened a daycare center!"
402
00:18:39,597 --> 00:18:44,100
I usually go down screaming,
"You didn't buy me dinner!"
403
00:18:44,101 --> 00:18:45,468
Bonnie, let's admit it.
404
00:18:45,469 --> 00:18:47,036
We're never gonna go for our dream,
405
00:18:47,037 --> 00:18:49,806
just like we never went
to get those colonics.
406
00:18:49,807 --> 00:18:51,875
If we really wanted our own business,
407
00:18:51,876 --> 00:18:55,177
we would have done it already,
like Max and Caroline did.
408
00:18:56,913 --> 00:18:58,414
You're right, we did.
409
00:18:58,415 --> 00:19:01,217
John, cut these two the biggest piece
410
00:19:01,218 --> 00:19:03,853
of coconut macadamia nut cake we have.
411
00:19:03,854 --> 00:19:07,056
Oh my god. I think I just climaxed.
412
00:19:07,057 --> 00:19:09,192
Well, then pull your panties on
413
00:19:09,193 --> 00:19:11,961
and slink the hell out
like you usually do.
414
00:19:11,962 --> 00:19:14,797
[both laugh]
415
00:19:14,798 --> 00:19:16,732
Caroline, I need to talk to you.
416
00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:18,067
What are you doing?
417
00:19:18,068 --> 00:19:21,170
Working! I'm very sick.
418
00:19:21,171 --> 00:19:24,207
Bonnie and Ronnie out there
just reminded me of something.
419
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:27,009
I mean, besides two aunts
drunk on vacation.
420
00:19:27,010 --> 00:19:31,280
We have our own business.
The High isn't our failure.
421
00:19:31,281 --> 00:19:33,449
We already have our very own failure
422
00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:35,651
called Max's Homemade Cupcakes.
423
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,119
And if we stay here, we're building
424
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,789
someone else's dream, not ours.
425
00:19:39,790 --> 00:19:40,956
Also, if we stay,
426
00:19:40,957 --> 00:19:44,426
your ass will be the size of a house.
427
00:19:44,427 --> 00:19:47,963
I mean, when was the last
time you felt happy here?
428
00:19:47,964 --> 00:19:50,399
Like 30 seconds ago
when you said this place
429
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,301
wasn't our failure and I
remembered I was holding
430
00:19:52,302 --> 00:19:56,005
another one of these in my other hand.
431
00:19:56,006 --> 00:19:57,506
Let's get out of this airport.
432
00:19:57,507 --> 00:20:00,643
We never have to see another
Nicholas Sparks novel again.
433
00:20:00,644 --> 00:20:02,077
First, we have to get rid
434
00:20:02,078 --> 00:20:04,113
of those two plane tickets to Paris.
435
00:20:04,114 --> 00:20:07,648
Do we?
436
00:20:09,351 --> 00:20:11,186
I mean, if we're gonna fail
437
00:20:11,187 --> 00:20:13,622
we can still do that after
a week in Paris, right?
438
00:20:13,623 --> 00:20:15,324
Right.
439
00:20:15,325 --> 00:20:17,826
I'm so stoked! I've never
been in first class.
440
00:20:17,827 --> 00:20:21,196
Except, Max, this is coach.
441
00:20:21,197 --> 00:20:23,432
I got a refund on one ticket
and traded in the other
442
00:20:23,433 --> 00:20:26,535
to buy two coach tickets
and to pay for a cheap hotel.
443
00:20:26,536 --> 00:20:28,604
I'm so stoked. I've never been in coach.
444
00:20:28,605 --> 00:20:30,205
[giggles] And also so
445
00:20:30,206 --> 00:20:31,673
we have money to spend.
446
00:20:31,674 --> 00:20:34,176
We should be able to do
Paris for a week on $12.
447
00:20:34,177 --> 00:20:37,112
Of course, we can.
448
00:20:37,113 --> 00:20:40,048
What's the difference between
coach and first, anyway?
449
00:20:40,049 --> 00:20:41,883
The champagne.
450
00:20:41,884 --> 00:20:43,785
We'll be back with the good crackers,
451
00:20:43,786 --> 00:20:45,353
and I don't mean us.
452
00:20:45,354 --> 00:20:47,621
[both laugh]
453
00:20:49,758 --> 00:20:51,493
Well, partner, after all we've been
454
00:20:51,494 --> 00:20:53,662
through this year, whatever comes next,
455
00:20:53,663 --> 00:20:55,630
I kinda feel ready for it.
456
00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:58,333
(Bonnie) Flight crew,
prepare for take-off.
457
00:20:58,334 --> 00:21:02,170
[humming]
458
00:21:02,171 --> 00:21:04,539
Hey, now you're humming.
459
00:21:04,540 --> 00:21:06,807
I am?
460
00:21:11,546 --> 00:21:14,915
Hey, can I trade this in for a beer?
461
00:21:20,577 --> 00:21:27,601
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.