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Subs by Traff and Raceman
www.forom.com

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/Tracy Jordan to the stage, please.

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/Tracy to the stage.

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Hey, hey, hey,
where are you going?

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They've been paging you
for rehearsal!

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Rehearsal?
We did a show last week.

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I just came
to pick up a paycheck.

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No. We do a show
every Friday, Tracy.

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It's not gonna work.

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Next Friday is Damon Dash's
birthday party.

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And the Friday after that there's an orgy over
at Elizabeth Hasselbeck's.

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Yeah? Well, you're part
of a team now, okay?

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So you have to be in the shows
and you have to rehearse.

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And when you rehearse,
Jenna would really like it--

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I would like it too--

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if you would read exactly
what's on the cue cards.

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It's making everybody crazy.

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Can't do it.

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I'm an improviser.

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My acting style is like jazz.

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Jazz that you laugh at.

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"Ah ha ha ha ha!
Ah ha ha ha ha!"

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Just try, okay?

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I have a meeting upstairs.
I'll be right back.

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Pete.

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Do you remember that song
I recorded last year

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when I was dating
that Persian record producer?

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Oh...no.

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It's a dance-pop techno hybrid
called Muffin Top.

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I gave everybody copies
at Christmas?

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Oh, yeah, right.
I don't remember that.

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Well, apparently
it's a number-one hit in Israel.

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Hey, Israel.
Wow. Yes.

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And I noticed we had
a couple of minutes left,

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so I thought maybe
I could do it on the show.

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Okay, you can do the short version.

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You should know that Muffin Top
is also number four in Belgium.

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I said you could do it.

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Why not?!

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Oh. I mean, thank you.

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Hello.

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For over a hundred years,
GE has been imagining the future... today.

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And I'm here to talk to you today
about a wonderful new synergy.

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It's called "product integration."

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It's revolutionizing the way
we monetize broadcast television.

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How does it work?
Simple.

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All you have to do
as the writing staff of an NBC show

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is incorporate positive mentions--
or PosMens--of GE products into your program.

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For example, you could write an episode
where one of your characters purchases--

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and is satisfied with...

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one of GE's direct-current drilling motors
for an offshore or land-based project.

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Product integration...

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setting a new standard
in upward revenue stream dynamics.

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For all of us.

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Now, I'd be happy
to answer any questions.

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I'm sorry. You're saying you want us
to use the show to sell stuff?

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Look, I know how this sounds.

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No, come on, Jack.
We're not doing that.

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We're not compromising the integrity
of the show to sell--

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Wow. This is diet Snapple?

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I know, it tastes just like
regular Snapple, doesn't it?

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You should try
Plum-A-Granate.

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It's amazing.

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I only date guys
who drink Snapple.

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Look, we all love Snapple.

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Lord knows I do,
but focus here.

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We're talking about product integration.

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No, no. We are not your shills.

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Oh! Oh-ho.
I'm sorry.

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That's right.
They're artists,

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like James Joyce
or Strindberg.

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Get real, kids.

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You write skits mocking our presidents
to fill time between car commercials.

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That's not fair.

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Josh gets a lot of fan mail
for Gaybraham Lincoln.

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Did you guys know that Holland
is the only country with a national dog?

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I didn't know that.

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Hmm. There's little facts under there.

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/That's  a lunch break, everybody.

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Back in an hour, please.

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Um, did you talk to Tracy
about reading the cue cards?

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I tried.

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Well, he's not reading them.

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He never reads them, Liz.

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I'm starting to think...
he can't read!

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Oh, that-- that's just offensive, Jenna.

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I don't know.

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Have you ever seen him
read anything?

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Of course.
Like when we shoot promos.

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Hi. I'm Tracy Jordan.
I'm black, NBC!

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Very proud, like peacocks,
right, Janet?

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Hmm.

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Hey, Tracy,
I missed that last run-through.

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Could you run it once
off cards for me?

95
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Naw, Lemon.
I'll do that later.
I gotta bounce.

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Okay, that's the--

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It says, "Emergency exit only".
He couldn't read that?

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Man, Jenna's really gotten squirrelly
since Tracy came along.

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It's so sad.

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What's really sad is that
while she's in this fragile state,

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none of her friends
are messing with her head.

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I think we should do
something about that.

103
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Hmm.

104
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Shh. Okay.
All right.

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Hey, what are you guys
talking about?

106
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Oh. Uh...nothing.

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What, is it about me?

108
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Okay. Um...

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There's a rumor going around
that Donaghy has to cut costs around here.

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Oh.

111
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Yeah. My friend in accounting,
Lando Calrissian,

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he says Jack's probably gonna
have to fire an actor.

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Oh.

114
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Thank you guys for telling me.

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It's like shooting fish
in a barrel.

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Yeah, if the fish have daddy issues.

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I can't believe you guys actually
wrote a product integration sketch.

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Jack said we had to.

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It just seems weird.

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This show's not a commercial.

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Excuse me.

122
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Can you tell me
where Human Resources is, please?

123
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That way. Thanks.

124
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This is gonna sound crazy, but, um...

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Tracy can read, right?

126
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What? Are you serious?

127
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The  guy's done dozens of movies.

128
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Yeah, but it's not like his movies seem
like he's reading a script.

129
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Let's go rescue Karen
or whatever.

130
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Is there a Cheryl?

131
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Then  she could tell us where drugs are--
I mean gold--

132
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Then we got the car chase.
I'm getting way too old for this!

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Was I supposed to say that then?

134
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That's true.

135
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And he never reads
the cue cards...

136
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God, I thought all that stuff was just crazy Tracy seeing
what he could get away with.

137
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I know, but, you know,
it's not surprising.

138
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Look at the educational system
in this country.

139
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We spend all this money in Iraq,
but meanwhile,

140
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our inner-city graduation rates
are lower than they are in the Sudan.

141
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That doesn't sound right.

142
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Maybe it was Sweden.
Maybe it was teen pregnancy.

143
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I gotta read more.

144
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What can I do for you?

145
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So we wrote a product integration sketch.

146
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Good. But we wanted to run it
by you first

147
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because it's about
how GE is making us do this.

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And we were kinda hoping that the GE executive
in the sketch could be played by...you.

149
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Oh, I get it--

150
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The whole self-referential thing:

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Letterman hates the suits,
Stern yells at his boss,

152
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Nixon's "sock it to me"
on Laugh-In.

153
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Yeah.

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Hippy humor.

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That's what I'm going for.

156
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Well, as you know,
I've been studying comedy

157
00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:01,502
and learning what's funny.

158
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I'm watching Friends right now.
What happens with Ross and Rachel?

159
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No, no. Don't tell me.
Seriously. What were you saying?

160
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So will you do it?

161
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I don't know, Lemon.
I'm not an actor.

162
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This is your world.

163
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Oh, come on.
You can do this.

164
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You were great in that video.

165
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Yeah!

166
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This is live television.

167
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I've never done anything
like that before.

168
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Okay, I'll do it.

169
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Ohh! Great, great.
Thanks, Jack.

170
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So rehearsal will be
tomorrow at 2:00.

171
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Please don't be late.

172
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:34,493
And I will fax you
any changes by 9:00 a.m.

173
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You're such a Monica!

174
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Ah ha!
You are.

175
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Uhh.

176
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He never reads anything.

177
00:07:54,226 --> 00:07:56,682
Uh, why is Jack Donaghy
on the cast list?

178
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Oh, he's gonna do
this GE sketch.

179
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It's really funny.

180
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:02,562
Oh, so he gets to be in sketches,
but he's gonna fire one of the real actors?

181
00:08:02,737 --> 00:08:03,231
What?

182
00:08:03,407 --> 00:08:07,363
I got inside information that Jack is gonna fire
one of the actors to cut costs.

183
00:08:07,527 --> 00:08:08,693
No. I haven't heard anything like that.

184
00:08:08,868 --> 00:08:09,441
Don't worry about it.

185
00:08:09,616 --> 00:08:11,033
Oh, I'm not worried...

186
00:08:11,205 --> 00:08:13,363
Because I have something
the other actors don't.

187
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A secret weapon.

188
00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:17,243
Oh, don't say your sexuality.

189
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My sexuality!

190
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Oh, God, Jenna,
when has that ever worked?

191
00:08:22,295 --> 00:08:24,330
Uh, when has it not worked?

192
00:08:24,507 --> 00:08:26,132
It'll be a 45-minute wait.

193
00:08:26,296 --> 00:08:29,000
Oh, will it?

194
00:08:30,846 --> 00:08:31,470
Uh, yeah.

195
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,592
Yeah. Yeah, it will.

196
00:08:33,765 --> 00:08:37,390
Yeah, but this is different
because I know Jack Donaghy.

197
00:08:37,556 --> 00:08:39,012
I know what he likes.

198
00:08:39,188 --> 00:08:45,523
Yeah, so now you just have to make yourself
ten years younger and Asian.

199
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,361
I don't know
what to tell you.

200
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,981
They're making me rehearse.

201
00:08:50,158 --> 00:08:53,613
I know Pat Benatar
rarely performs live.

202
00:08:53,787 --> 00:08:56,990
Scalp the damn tickets.

203
00:08:57,165 --> 00:08:59,160
These are the changes
for the sketches that you're in.

204
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:03,413
Cool. I'll read those later, Lemon.

205
00:09:05,465 --> 00:09:08,711
Tray...
Can you read?

206
00:09:09,808 --> 00:09:11,300
Can I read?

207
00:09:11,466 --> 00:09:12,461
Please don't get angry.

208
00:09:12,638 --> 00:09:15,342
It's  not your fault.
It's the system.

209
00:09:15,518 --> 00:09:17,052
Did you ever see
Hoop Dreams?

210
00:09:17,225 --> 00:09:18,052
It's like that.

211
00:09:18,227 --> 00:09:20,353
So you're asking me
if I'm illiterate?

212
00:09:20,515 --> 00:09:22,101
You don't even have to answer me
if you don't want to.

213
00:09:22,276 --> 00:09:25,190
Just know that if you need a tutor,
we will get you a tutor.

214
00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:28,312
If you need to be in fewer sketches
until you get more confident,

215
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,861
we'll accommodate you,
whatever you need.

216
00:09:31,025 --> 00:09:34,401
So I could, like,
leave work early if I need a tutor?

217
00:09:34,577 --> 00:09:37,242
Absolutely.
We'll work around your schedule.

218
00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:40,162
I can't read,
Liz Lemon!

219
00:09:40,337 --> 00:09:41,952
My shameful secret is out.

220
00:09:42,127 --> 00:09:46,831
Now you know why I'm always running
into the ladies' bathroom.

221
00:09:47,007 --> 00:09:49,003
I can't read!

222
00:09:49,176 --> 00:09:52,422
I sign my name with an X!

223
00:09:52,598 --> 00:09:56,932
I once tried to make mashed potatoes
with laundry detergent!

224
00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:59,851
I think
I voted for Nader!

225
00:10:00,018 --> 00:10:02,393
Nader!

226
00:10:03,315 --> 00:10:06,061
I feel as though a great weight
has been lifted off of me, Liz Lemon.

227
00:10:06,235 --> 00:10:08,901
Today is the first day
of the rest of my life.

228
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:12,611
All thanks to one very,
very special white lady.

229
00:10:12,776 --> 00:10:16,282
I'll be in late tomorrow.

230
00:10:21,918 --> 00:10:27,212
Damn, George Will just gets more
and more conservative.

231
00:10:31,087 --> 00:10:32,132
Liz?

232
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,710
Hi. Did you tell Jack
he can be on the show?

233
00:10:33,888 --> 00:10:35,552
Yeah, he was kind of
excited about it, actually.

234
00:10:35,717 --> 00:10:36,840
Oh, yeah,
he's very excited.

235
00:10:37,016 --> 00:10:38,973
But you cannot put him on live TV.

236
00:10:39,136 --> 00:10:39,931
Why?

237
00:10:40,096 --> 00:10:41,550
Okay.

238
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:47,273
I'm only showing you this
because I care about him so much.

239
00:10:50,198 --> 00:10:50,943
GE Promo.

240
00:10:51,106 --> 00:10:54,111
Take one.
Action!

241
00:10:54,576 --> 00:10:56,113
- Did you say, "Action"?
- Yes. Action!

242
00:10:56,285 --> 00:10:57,240
- Could you say it louder, please?
- I'm sorry.

243
00:10:57,405 --> 00:10:58,360
Action!

244
00:10:58,535 --> 00:10:59,662
GE Promo.
Take two.

245
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:03,033
Hello.
For over a hundred years--

246
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:03,950
Line?

247
00:11:04,126 --> 00:11:05,540
Sorry.
My bad.

248
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:06,791
What's the first line?

249
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,252
Product integration!

250
00:11:08,415 --> 00:11:10,710
Okay.

251
00:11:11,127 --> 00:11:13,133
Right, got it.
I just need the first word.

252
00:11:13,296 --> 00:11:15,752
Product!

253
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,423
What's the second word?

254
00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:18,342
Integration.

255
00:11:18,518 --> 00:11:19,802
Okay, I knew that.
Okay, d-d-uh...

256
00:11:19,975 --> 00:11:21,681
If I ask for the line again,
don't tell me.

257
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,721
Line?

258
00:11:23,896 --> 00:11:25,470
- Line?
- Product integration.

259
00:11:25,646 --> 00:11:28,101
I told you don't give me the line
when I ask for the line.

260
00:11:28,276 --> 00:11:30,271
I got it.
I got it.

261
00:11:30,447 --> 00:11:31,232
Could we get a do-over there?

262
00:11:31,407 --> 00:11:32,600
Let's go again, can we?

263
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,232
What?

264
00:11:34,405 --> 00:11:35,692
What is it?

265
00:11:35,868 --> 00:11:36,482
I don't like this at all.

266
00:11:36,657 --> 00:11:38,690
Okay, I got it.
Let's go again.

267
00:11:38,868 --> 00:11:40,742
The pen doesn't really write.
Does that matter?

268
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:44,123
And I'm here today--

269
00:11:44,707 --> 00:11:46,241
My bad.
I'm sorry.

270
00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:47,952
Oh...God.

271
00:11:48,127 --> 00:11:49,663
Why don't we go to lunch
and we'll come back and maybe--

272
00:11:49,836 --> 00:11:51,170
Let's all go have lunch.

273
00:11:51,337 --> 00:11:53,003
GE  Promo.
126.

274
00:11:53,177 --> 00:11:54,543
It's weird.
What do I do with my arms?

275
00:11:54,716 --> 00:11:55,961
I've never thought
about that before.

276
00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:58,802
Is it this?

277
00:11:59,847 --> 00:12:02,973
Or, if I may, this?

278
00:12:05,685 --> 00:12:07,260
Maybe I should just hold something.

279
00:12:07,438 --> 00:12:08,772
OK, yeah, this feels more natural.

280
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,311
Is that right? Yeah.

281
00:12:10,486 --> 00:12:12,942
"New synergy"--
does that sound odd to anyone else?

282
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,023
Does that sound like
"news energy"?

283
00:12:15,198 --> 00:12:16,613
And this satisfies--

284
00:12:16,776 --> 00:12:18,531
Oh. Ouch, ouch.

285
00:12:18,695 --> 00:12:19,533
You all right?

286
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,200
Could I get a little, uh...

287
00:12:21,367 --> 00:12:26,163
I'm here to talk to you television
about the monetizing of today broadcast.

288
00:12:26,338 --> 00:12:27,451
Was any of that usable?

289
00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:29,291
GE Promo. 129.

290
00:12:29,456 --> 00:12:31,330
It's called,
"racial integration"--

291
00:12:31,507 --> 00:12:32,500
No, that's not right, is it?

292
00:12:32,665 --> 00:12:35,830
It's called,
"product intergort"--
"intergortian"?

293
00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:38,550
...the way we monetize broadcast television.

294
00:12:38,718 --> 00:12:40,382
How does it work?

295
00:12:40,558 --> 00:12:42,263
Oh!

296
00:12:42,427 --> 00:12:45,802
Could we turn off
the phones, please?

297
00:12:45,976 --> 00:12:48,011
Oh, I'm sorr--ha!
I'm sorry. That's me.

298
00:12:48,188 --> 00:12:49,850
Let me turn this thing off here.

299
00:12:50,028 --> 00:12:52,103
I think I just took a picture.

300
00:12:52,276 --> 00:12:53,982
I'm sorry, everybody,
there's a [bleep] pigeon.

301
00:12:54,147 --> 00:12:56,443
Shoo!

302
00:12:56,695 --> 00:12:59,862
...purchases,
and is satisfied with--Oh.

303
00:13:00,038 --> 00:13:00,903
142.

304
00:13:01,077 --> 00:13:04,320
...in upward revenue
stream dynamics.

305
00:13:04,496 --> 00:13:05,781
For all of us.

306
00:13:05,956 --> 00:13:07,663
Cut.
That's a wrap.

307
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,082
Ha! That was fun,
you guys.

308
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:11,751
Didn't feel like
five days, did it?

309
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:12,870
No. Nah, that wasn't bad.

310
00:13:13,045 --> 00:13:14,212
Everybody have a good weekend.

311
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:18,001
And... we'll be right back.

312
00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,052
/Jenna to the stage, please.

313
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,512
Jenna to the stage
for Muffin Top.

314
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:23,763
Hey, Liz?

315
00:13:23,926 --> 00:13:24,880
Liz...

316
00:13:25,057 --> 00:13:27,513
I'm a little bit nervous
about this rehearsal.

317
00:13:27,687 --> 00:13:28,932
Oh, I'm glad
you brought that up.

318
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,223
You know, you don't have to do this.

319
00:13:30,395 --> 00:13:31,390
I know how busy you are.

320
00:13:31,565 --> 00:13:32,851
Oh, no, I have to do it.

321
00:13:33,027 --> 00:13:35,522
It's a new challenge,
and I like challenges.

322
00:13:35,697 --> 00:13:37,021
I've summited Kilimanjaro.

323
00:13:37,198 --> 00:13:38,903
I've showered
with Greta Van Susteren.

324
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,113
I--I'm gonna do this, yeah.

325
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:42,231
The time, sir.

326
00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:43,403
Oh, that's right.
Do you mind?

327
00:13:43,575 --> 00:13:44,702
We'll do it around the corner, okay?

328
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:45,951
I'll be with you in a minute.

329
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,161
I have a conference
with my corporate division head.

330
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,951
Oh, yeah?
Are you guys gonna...

331
00:13:50,126 --> 00:13:54,963
...correlate overseas
earnings report dynamics?

332
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,883
Yes.

333
00:14:00,386 --> 00:14:02,093
Liz?

334
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,092
Did I just hear Jack?

335
00:14:03,268 --> 00:14:04,422
Oh, no, no, no.
Please.

336
00:14:04,596 --> 00:14:07,090
I know for a fact he is talking
to his boss right now.

337
00:14:07,268 --> 00:14:07,930
Really?

338
00:14:08,096 --> 00:14:09,803
Don't bother him.

339
00:14:09,978 --> 00:14:11,430
Fine.

340
00:14:11,608 --> 00:14:13,971
Don't.

341
00:14:17,985 --> 00:14:18,273
Of course, sir.

342
00:14:18,446 --> 00:14:19,310
I'll look into it
right away.

343
00:14:19,486 --> 00:14:22,273
Actions speak louder than words.
Take care of it.

344
00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:24,480
Don't worry, I'll have it on your desk
first thing in the morning.

345
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:27,283
Look, I am tired of your promises!
I want this thing fixed.

346
00:14:27,455 --> 00:14:30,702
I'm-- I'm on it, sir.

347
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:38,830
So...

348
00:14:39,007 --> 00:14:40,462
You're Jack's boss, huh?

349
00:14:40,637 --> 00:14:44,510
Oh, well, yeah,
that's what they tell me.

350
00:14:44,677 --> 00:14:46,260
I'm Jenna, by the way.

351
00:14:46,425 --> 00:14:50,182
Oh, I, uh,
I know who you are.

352
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:51,260
I'm Ron.

353
00:14:51,435 --> 00:14:53,892
Oh, Ron.

354
00:14:54,646 --> 00:14:56,520
How do you take
your coffee, Ron?

355
00:14:56,685 --> 00:14:57,351
I take it? Uh...

356
00:14:57,525 --> 00:15:01,692
I--I take it, uh,
with the non-dairy creamer.

357
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:05,610
Mmm. Yeah.
Non-dairy creamer.

358
00:15:07,785 --> 00:15:10,030
Yum.

359
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:18,870
Ahem.

360
00:15:19,045 --> 00:15:21,332
Ahem.

361
00:15:21,798 --> 00:15:22,580
Mmm.

362
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,292
Ahh.

363
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:24,672
Oh, yeah.

364
00:15:24,845 --> 00:15:25,500
Eh-heh. Wow.

365
00:15:25,677 --> 00:15:26,340
Quiet, please!

366
00:15:26,516 --> 00:15:27,553
Rehearsing!

367
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,513
From Mr. Donaghy's entrance.

368
00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:31,762
What's up, Mr. Donaghy?

369
00:15:31,935 --> 00:15:34,643
That's Josh's line.
Your lines are in blue.

370
00:15:34,816 --> 00:15:35,931
My bad.
I'm sorry.

371
00:15:36,107 --> 00:15:38,390
Those cards are
a little confusing.

372
00:15:38,566 --> 00:15:40,103
Hello, everyone.

373
00:15:40,276 --> 00:15:43,483
Thanks for waiting,
please. Sit...down.

374
00:15:43,655 --> 00:15:45,442
Okay, that's great.
Just one thing, sir.

375
00:15:45,617 --> 00:15:47,320
You're looking into the camera
a little bit.

376
00:15:47,487 --> 00:15:48,821
No, I'm not.

377
00:15:48,997 --> 00:15:51,823
I want to,
but I'm not. No.

378
00:15:51,998 --> 00:15:54,741
Could I get
two coffee cups?

379
00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:56,292
Yeah, you know,
let's take five minutes,

380
00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:59,710
actually, uh, everybody,
while we get Mr. Donaghy some coffee cups.

381
00:15:59,878 --> 00:16:02,331
I know you want to do this,
but I don't think it's working out.

382
00:16:02,505 --> 00:16:04,002
I agree. It's the writing.
It's not natural.

383
00:16:04,178 --> 00:16:05,420
Uhh! Really?

384
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:06,590
You think the problem is the writing?

385
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,673
Yeah. It's clunky.

386
00:16:07,848 --> 00:16:11,631
Wow. Well, I was really trying to help you out of this,
but, you know what? You're the boss.

387
00:16:11,807 --> 00:16:13,011
I think I can do it.

388
00:16:13,187 --> 00:16:14,471
No. You should definitely do it.

389
00:16:14,645 --> 00:16:15,603
It'll be hilarious.

390
00:16:15,768 --> 00:16:19,270
Oh, well, that'd be a refreshing change
of pace for the show, wouldn't it?

391
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:22,021
Excuse me.

392
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:30,192
Why  would Tracy
pretend to be illiterate?

393
00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:31,403
To get out of coming to work.

394
00:16:31,578 --> 00:16:34,030
Oh, so first you thought he was illiterate,
and now you think he's lazy?

395
00:16:34,206 --> 00:16:36,780
Jeez, you are racist.

396
00:16:36,958 --> 00:16:41,542
No. Tracy took advantage of my white guilt,
which is to be used only for good,

397
00:16:41,715 --> 00:16:46,463
like over-tipping
and supporting Barack Obama.

398
00:16:48,428 --> 00:16:50,590
Summon.

399
00:16:50,766 --> 00:16:51,550
Hey, Tray.

400
00:16:51,725 --> 00:16:53,681
Kenneth told me
you finally got in to work.

401
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:55,513
Yeah, I had to go to reading class.

402
00:16:55,686 --> 00:16:58,722
You hear this mess
about sometimes Y being a vowel?

403
00:16:58,897 --> 00:16:59,931
What a world.

404
00:17:00,105 --> 00:17:00,311
Ah...

405
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,603
Well, we just wanted to show you
the new posters for the show.

406
00:17:03,778 --> 00:17:07,113
Yeah, all right. Cool.

407
00:17:11,325 --> 00:17:15,321
So it's okay to hang these
all over the city?

408
00:17:15,497 --> 00:17:17,623
Yeah.
It's good.

409
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:19,543
I like it.

410
00:17:19,707 --> 00:17:21,201
Really?

411
00:17:21,378 --> 00:17:23,791
Really.

412
00:17:26,047 --> 00:17:29,712
I'll be leaving early today.

413
00:17:31,638 --> 00:17:37,643
/Jenna and Ghostface Killah,
/to the stage, please, for Muffin Top.

414
00:17:45,145 --> 00:17:47,523
Hello?

415
00:17:48,487 --> 00:17:50,400
Jack?
It's 3:00 in the morning.

416
00:17:50,576 --> 00:17:53,363
What's wrong?

417
00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:06,502
That's quite a commitment
to such terrible writing.

418
00:18:07,338 --> 00:18:09,840
Lemon, I don't know
how to do this.

419
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:12,421
I know.

420
00:18:14,848 --> 00:18:17,180
I don't get it.
It's not the fear.

421
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:18,800
I thrive on fear.

422
00:18:18,975 --> 00:18:21,513
You're looking out a fake window
right now, by the way.

423
00:18:21,688 --> 00:18:23,393
I bow-hunt polar bear.

424
00:18:23,568 --> 00:18:26,232
I once drove a rental car into the Hudson
just to practice escaping.

425
00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:27,770
And it's not the public speaking.

426
00:18:27,946 --> 00:18:32,401
There's just something about performing
that I can't wrap my brain around.

427
00:18:32,576 --> 00:18:34,532
All this creative crap.

428
00:18:34,695 --> 00:18:35,530
Acting!

429
00:18:35,695 --> 00:18:37,150
oh...

430
00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:40,162
I've never been able to do it.

431
00:18:40,326 --> 00:18:41,203
Never.

432
00:18:41,376 --> 00:18:44,620
Grains and cereals
are an important--

433
00:18:44,795 --> 00:18:45,622
Oh!

434
00:18:45,795 --> 00:18:46,412
Line!

435
00:18:46,588 --> 00:18:50,002
Damn it!
Son of a bitch!

436
00:18:50,175 --> 00:18:51,423
Lemon.

437
00:18:51,596 --> 00:18:53,461
I need your help.

438
00:18:53,638 --> 00:18:55,960
Really...
Jack Donaghy needs my--

439
00:18:56,137 --> 00:18:56,923
Don't gloat.

440
00:18:57,098 --> 00:18:59,431
It makes you seem mannish.

441
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:00,183
Okay.

442
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,142
Look, this is not your fault.

443
00:19:02,306 --> 00:19:03,352
This whole thing was a bad idea.

444
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:06,060
We should just have Josh do it,
and we'll just tell everyone
you're on a business trip.

445
00:19:06,238 --> 00:19:07,351
That's not an option.
I have to do it.

446
00:19:07,528 --> 00:19:09,102
Once I set my mind to something,
I have to accomplish it.

447
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,613
Ten years ago, I was an inch-and-a-half
shorter than I am today.

448
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:12,860
Sheer willpower.

449
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:17,151
If I don't figure this thing out by Friday,
then failure wins, and that's not acceptable.

450
00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:18,823
Oh, God, the room is spinning.

451
00:19:18,998 --> 00:19:20,360
What do you want from me?

452
00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:22,661
I'm one of your actors.
I'm freaking out.

453
00:19:22,826 --> 00:19:24,493
Talk me down.

454
00:19:24,666 --> 00:19:27,002
Okay, here's your pep talk.

455
00:19:27,168 --> 00:19:29,332
You're not an actor.
You're Jack Donaghy, all right?

456
00:19:29,505 --> 00:19:31,583
So quit whining and nut up.

457
00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:33,753
You're right,
if you can't do this,
you are a failure.

458
00:19:33,926 --> 00:19:36,672
Josh can do this, and earlier today,
he ate a club sandwich

459
00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:38,341
with the toothpicks still in it.

460
00:19:38,515 --> 00:19:42,473
Jenna can do this,
and she was once engaged to David Blaine.

461
00:19:42,647 --> 00:19:48,062
Any dumb-dumb can act, Jack,
so be a man and get it done.

462
00:19:54,235 --> 00:20:00,453
If you were any other woman on earth...
I would be turned on right now.

463
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:01,860
Go home.

464
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,951
Get some sleep.

465
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:12,543
This stays between us,
right, Lemon?

466
00:20:13,005 --> 00:20:15,382
Lemon?

467
00:20:17,005 --> 00:20:19,382
Lemon?

468
00:20:22,598 --> 00:20:24,972
Lemon?

469
00:20:30,608 --> 00:20:33,400
Well, I don't think I have to worry
about my job anymore.

470
00:20:33,568 --> 00:20:34,983
And I didn't bother Jack at all.

471
00:20:35,158 --> 00:20:36,062
Oh, good for you.

472
00:20:36,237 --> 00:20:37,693
That's right.
I took your advice.

473
00:20:37,866 --> 00:20:41,403
I hooked up with his boss.

474
00:20:42,288 --> 00:20:43,862
- Who, Ron?
- Mm-hmm.

475
00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,832
That guy's an extra on the show.

476
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,992
No. He said he was Jack's boss.

477
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:52,921
No. In the sketch.
He doesn't even have a line.

478
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:55,212
He doesn't have lines?

479
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:56,541
Don't eat in costume!

480
00:20:56,718 --> 00:21:00,343
Give me a break. I'm just--

481
00:21:01,425 --> 00:21:03,933
But he was yelling at Jack.

482
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:07,010
Actions speak louder than words.
Take care of it.

483
00:21:07,188 --> 00:21:09,103
Don't worry, sir,
I'll have it on your desk
first thing in the morning.

484
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:12,851
I am tired of your promises.
I just want this thing fixed now!

485
00:21:13,028 --> 00:21:15,941
I'm on it, sir.

486
00:21:16,698 --> 00:21:21,991
What is the point of belonging to the Extras Guild
if I cannot get health coverage for my foot, hmm?

487
00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:23,150
Ew.

488
00:21:23,328 --> 00:21:24,912
Oh, God, Jenna.

489
00:21:25,078 --> 00:21:27,070
I told you,
don't listen to rumors.

490
00:21:27,247 --> 00:21:28,582
But Frank and Toofer said to me--

491
00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:31,372
Frank and Toofer?
That's where you're getting your information?

492
00:21:31,545 --> 00:21:32,872
They're messing with you!

493
00:21:33,046 --> 00:21:34,540
No. They wouldn't do that to me.

494
00:21:34,718 --> 00:21:35,711
Yeah, they would.

495
00:21:35,878 --> 00:21:38,041
Oh!

496
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:43,300
I am gonna get back at them...
using my sexuality.

497
00:21:46,015 --> 00:21:48,350
Do you have any left?

498
00:21:48,517 --> 00:21:55,142
/Jenna, Ghostface Killah, and Yo-Yo Ma
/to the stage, please, for Muffin Top.

499
00:21:59,655 --> 00:22:01,692
- Where the hot lesbians at, Lemon?
- I knew it!

500
00:22:01,867 --> 00:22:03,111
You can read!

501
00:22:03,288 --> 00:22:03,651
Fine.

502
00:22:03,825 --> 00:22:05,072
Yes, I'm literate!

503
00:22:05,246 --> 00:22:08,071
I even have a column
in Ebony called Musings!

504
00:22:08,246 --> 00:22:09,622
You are unbelievable.

505
00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:10,781
I'm unbelievable?

506
00:22:10,956 --> 00:22:14,000
What about your racist mess?
Thinking a grown man is illiterate.

507
00:22:14,168 --> 00:22:17,582
That's the subtle racism
of lowered expectations.

508
00:22:17,756 --> 00:22:18,923
Bing Crosby said that.

509
00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:21,382
No, Bill Cosby said that.

510
00:22:21,555 --> 00:22:22,712
That's racist.

511
00:22:22,886 --> 00:22:27,182
Look, we can all agree
Liz is generally pretty racist.

512
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,263
The point is, you have people
counting on you.

513
00:22:30,435 --> 00:22:32,511
You can't be finding excuses
not to be here.

514
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,983
But this job is hard!

515
00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:37,521
I just want to be able
to do what I want to do.

516
00:22:37,698 --> 00:22:41,023
You know, I once shot a whole movie
without ever getting out of my car?

517
00:22:41,197 --> 00:22:44,482
Yeah, I paid to see that.
That was supposed to be a western.

518
00:22:44,656 --> 00:22:46,782
You're not a big shot
movie star anymore, Tray.

519
00:22:46,957 --> 00:22:50,531
You're the star of TGS,
and you will read the lines as written,

520
00:22:50,707 --> 00:22:53,410
starting tonight
because this show is important.

521
00:22:53,586 --> 00:22:55,081
I set a very high standard
for myself,

522
00:22:55,255 --> 00:22:58,121
and I expect the same
of the professionals who work with me.

523
00:22:58,295 --> 00:23:00,422
When Gaybraham Lincoln gets hit in the crotch,
can I go cross-eyed?

524
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:04,671
Oh, yes, do that.
That's hilarious!

525
00:23:09,386 --> 00:23:12,223
Hey have you seen
Frank or Toofer?

526
00:23:12,396 --> 00:23:14,311
Pete!

527
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:17,810
The standards lady is saying
that my moaning in Muffin Top is too graphic.

528
00:23:17,985 --> 00:23:19,441
Which of these is less offensive?

529
00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:21,730
Ahh! Ahh!

530
00:23:21,906 --> 00:23:22,863
Ahhh!

531
00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:23,771
Or...

532
00:23:23,946 --> 00:23:25,363
Ooh-hunh!

533
00:23:25,538 --> 00:23:26,823
Unh-hunh!

534
00:23:26,998 --> 00:23:28,112
Ohhh!

535
00:23:28,287 --> 00:23:29,663
Both sound good to me.

536
00:23:29,827 --> 00:23:32,491
Hello, Ron.

537
00:23:34,127 --> 00:23:37,291
I would just hate
for Muffin Top to get cut
because of a standards problem.

538
00:23:37,456 --> 00:23:39,333
I've already posted it
on my weblog though
I'll be doing it.

539
00:23:39,506 --> 00:23:40,461
Jenna, we're not gonna cut it.

540
00:23:40,627 --> 00:23:41,333
Are you messing with me?

541
00:23:41,507 --> 00:23:43,091
Because people around here
keep messing with me.

542
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,712
I'm not messing with you.

543
00:23:44,886 --> 00:23:47,171
So which one? Ahh!

544
00:23:47,347 --> 00:23:48,421
Or, ohhh!

545
00:23:48,597 --> 00:23:52,643
Uh, I guess...
Uh, "ahh ahh! Ahh."

546
00:23:55,437 --> 00:23:57,563
Oh, Hey. Look,
it's no big deal,

547
00:23:57,727 --> 00:23:59,603
but we had to make some changes
in your sketch, okay?

548
00:23:59,775 --> 00:24:01,143
I have new pages for you.

549
00:24:01,318 --> 00:24:01,691
You do?

550
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,361
Yeah. Tracy is now in it now,
so we had to change some of the cues.

551
00:24:04,525 --> 00:24:07,822
Also, the opening VT is cut,
so you just go right out, okay?

552
00:24:07,998 --> 00:24:10,242
Oh, and, um, you all say
the last line together.

553
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:11,453
Wow. So, uh...

554
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:14,783
So you're gonna be great.
Have fun.

555
00:24:14,957 --> 00:24:17,951
Lemon, these pages are blank.

556
00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:19,043
Oh.

557
00:24:19,206 --> 00:24:20,002
Never mind.

558
00:24:20,168 --> 00:24:21,290
Withdrawn.

559
00:24:21,468 --> 00:24:25,961
And, remember,
don't look into the camera!

560
00:24:29,975 --> 00:24:30,551
Toofer?

561
00:24:30,726 --> 00:24:31,180
Yeah?

562
00:24:31,348 --> 00:24:32,262
Can I tell you a secret?

563
00:24:32,436 --> 00:24:32,972
Sure.

564
00:24:33,148 --> 00:24:36,720
We've been working together a while,
and I know this may sound crazy,

565
00:24:36,896 --> 00:24:39,022
but I've been watching you.

566
00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:44,862
I have this fantasy of sneaking up to the roof of 30 Rock,
and we make love while looking out at the city --

567
00:24:45,028 --> 00:24:46,192
Okay, let me guess.

568
00:24:46,368 --> 00:24:52,990
You figured out Frank and I lied to you, so to get even,
you're trying to get me naked on the roof and leave me there.

569
00:24:53,166 --> 00:24:55,702
Nice try.

570
00:24:56,786 --> 00:24:59,622
Where's Frank?

571
00:25:00,588 --> 00:25:02,082
But we're cool,
right, Mr. Donaghy?

572
00:25:02,257 --> 00:25:05,502
No, you're all fired.

573
00:25:11,887 --> 00:25:15,140
No, you're all fired.

574
00:25:18,396 --> 00:25:20,183
Hey, good job the other night.

575
00:25:20,357 --> 00:25:22,522
Oh, you mean on the show?
Thanks.

576
00:25:22,685 --> 00:25:24,230
What were you watching?

577
00:25:24,395 --> 00:25:26,273
Nothing. Uh...

578
00:25:26,445 --> 00:25:27,693
Bloomberg.

579
00:25:27,866 --> 00:25:30,112
Hmm.

580
00:25:31,788 --> 00:25:32,902
Aha!

581
00:25:33,075 --> 00:25:37,822
Don't be cute, Lemon.
You're too old for that.

582
00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:43,041
Good God!

583
00:25:43,836 --> 00:25:45,000
Lemon!

584
00:25:45,176 --> 00:25:48,042
Mr. Donaghy, open up!
Please?

585
00:25:48,217 --> 00:25:50,591
Lemon!

586
00:25:50,758 --> 00:25:52,170
* Everyone knows

587
00:25:52,345 --> 00:25:54,550
* The most delicious part of the muffin *

588
00:25:54,727 --> 00:25:56,933
* Is the top

589
00:25:57,095 --> 00:25:58,140
* My muffin top

590
00:25:58,307 --> 00:26:00,890
* Is all that whole grain, low-fat *

591
00:26:01,068 --> 00:26:02,682
* I know you want a piece of that *

592
00:26:02,856 --> 00:26:04,392
* But I just wanna dance *

593
00:26:04,566 --> 00:26:06,312
* Ch-checkin' out my sweet hips *

594
00:26:06,487 --> 00:26:08,151
* My sugar-coated berry lips *

595
00:26:08,318 --> 00:26:10,111
* I know you want to get with this *

596
00:26:10,275 --> 00:26:11,941
* But I'm just here to dance *

597
00:26:12,116 --> 00:26:13,533
* So back

598
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:15,453
* Up off of me

599
00:26:15,617 --> 00:26:17,411
* You're we-ee-ee-eirding

600
00:26:17,577 --> 00:26:19,071
* Me out

601
00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:21,031
* I'm an independent lady

602
00:26:21,206 --> 00:26:23,002
* So do not try to play me *

603
00:26:23,168 --> 00:26:24,792
* I run a tidy bakery

604
00:26:24,966 --> 00:26:26,670
* The boys all want my cake for free *

605
00:26:26,836 --> 00:26:28,540
Does she know we went off
the air two minutes ago?

606
00:26:28,717 --> 00:26:32,672
- No, she does not.
- Smart move.