1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,670 - [Wolf howls] - [Bloop!] 2 00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:06,050 - [Thunder rumbles] - Zelda: Well? 3 00:00:06,088 --> 00:00:08,040 - Well. - Did you send it? 4 00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:10,309 I'm about to. Can I just say I'm excited? 5 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,345 I'm excited, too. 6 00:00:12,382 --> 00:00:14,616 I know that didn't sound excited, but I'm using my work voice. 7 00:00:14,651 --> 00:00:16,547 - I'm glad we're doing this. - Yeah. 8 00:00:16,585 --> 00:00:19,121 It's our month-aversary. 9 00:00:19,155 --> 00:00:20,723 And if we could pretend 10 00:00:20,757 --> 00:00:22,591 that I didn't use that word, that'd be great. 11 00:00:22,625 --> 00:00:24,693 Oh, then you're gonna hate the card I just got you. 12 00:00:24,728 --> 00:00:27,029 You know what? It's a good thing that it falls near Halloween, 13 00:00:27,063 --> 00:00:28,998 because it would be weird 14 00:00:29,032 --> 00:00:30,966 to just have a month-aversary party. 15 00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:32,568 Oh, look at me. I'm warming up to that word. 16 00:00:32,602 --> 00:00:34,303 - [Laughs] - High five. 17 00:00:34,337 --> 00:00:35,771 High five. 18 00:00:35,805 --> 00:00:36,981 Oh. 19 00:00:37,044 --> 00:00:38,978 This is cool, you know? 20 00:00:39,012 --> 00:00:41,114 I've never thrown a party as part of a couple before. 21 00:00:41,148 --> 00:00:42,782 Yeah, me, neither. 22 00:00:42,816 --> 00:00:44,684 I mean, I've dated guys for more than a month 23 00:00:44,718 --> 00:00:46,853 but, you know, I don't know. This just feels... 24 00:00:46,887 --> 00:00:47,887 Different? 25 00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:49,822 Yeah. 26 00:00:49,857 --> 00:00:51,090 [Chuckles] 27 00:00:51,125 --> 00:00:53,593 Definitely different. 28 00:00:53,627 --> 00:00:55,128 All right. 29 00:00:55,162 --> 00:00:56,295 Let's do it. 30 00:00:56,330 --> 00:00:58,131 - In my car? - Kidding. 31 00:00:58,165 --> 00:00:59,499 Unless you're not. 32 00:00:59,533 --> 00:01:01,367 Hitting "send" in three, two... 33 00:01:01,401 --> 00:01:02,935 Wait. Uh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 34 00:01:02,970 --> 00:01:04,651 I'll meet you in the parking lot in 90 seconds. 35 00:01:04,676 --> 00:01:07,206 No. I'm just thinking about Stu and Stephie. 36 00:01:07,739 --> 00:01:10,707 Narrator: Zelda and Andrew normally spend Halloween 37 00:01:10,742 --> 00:01:12,042 with their best friends. 38 00:01:12,076 --> 00:01:13,276 After law school, 39 00:01:13,311 --> 00:01:15,579 Zelda and Stephie got an apartment 40 00:01:15,613 --> 00:01:18,115 which had been used as the exterior 41 00:01:18,149 --> 00:01:22,085 for "Laverne & Shirley" seasons six through eight. 42 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,387 Upon learning this, 43 00:01:23,421 --> 00:01:26,623 they immediately became obsessed with the show. 44 00:01:26,658 --> 00:01:28,025 Every Halloween since, 45 00:01:28,059 --> 00:01:30,394 they dress as the two iconic characters. 46 00:01:30,931 --> 00:01:33,266 - Andrew and Stu... - ["Ghostbusters" theme plays] 47 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,868 Have had their own spooky tradition 48 00:01:35,903 --> 00:01:37,503 since the fourth grade. 49 00:01:37,538 --> 00:01:39,005 ♪ Ghostbuster ♪ 50 00:01:39,039 --> 00:01:40,973 We talked about this. They're gonna be fine. 51 00:01:41,008 --> 00:01:42,975 Yeah, I know. You're right. 52 00:01:43,010 --> 00:01:45,111 They're adults. They'll understand. 53 00:01:45,145 --> 00:01:47,346 Okay, send it. 54 00:01:47,381 --> 00:01:49,015 - I already did. - What?! 55 00:01:49,049 --> 00:01:50,917 Without asking me? I'm just kidding. 56 00:01:50,951 --> 00:01:52,652 - They're gonna love it. - Stu: Halloween?! 57 00:01:52,686 --> 00:01:55,088 - Why?! Why?! Why?! - I'm gonna call you back. 58 00:01:55,122 --> 00:01:57,113 - Why?! - Hello? You... 59 00:01:59,140 --> 00:02:01,041 [clatters] 60 00:02:01,076 --> 00:02:03,544 - Hi. - Yeah. 61 00:02:03,578 --> 00:02:05,679 - [Cellphone chimes] - Oh! 62 00:02:05,714 --> 00:02:06,914 You got the invite. 63 00:02:06,948 --> 00:02:08,882 Oh, yes. Thank you so much for including me. 64 00:02:08,917 --> 00:02:09,950 Yeah. 65 00:02:09,985 --> 00:02:13,554 You RSVP'd "fat chance." 66 00:02:13,588 --> 00:02:16,123 I didn't even know that that was a category. 67 00:02:22,955 --> 00:02:24,655 Narrator: Andrew and Zelda will date 68 00:02:24,690 --> 00:02:28,759 for seven months, three weeks, four days, and one hour. 69 00:02:28,794 --> 00:02:31,829 This television program is the comprehensive account 70 00:02:31,863 --> 00:02:33,464 of their relationship... 71 00:02:33,498 --> 00:02:35,800 From A to Z. 72 00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:44,108 Lydia: Okay. Over the last week, 73 00:02:44,142 --> 00:02:47,611 I have been going through all these cards and letters 74 00:02:47,646 --> 00:02:50,815 with the help of a few suck-up employees. 75 00:02:50,849 --> 00:02:54,652 And I found these two. 76 00:02:54,686 --> 00:02:58,362 Donna and Jim Henry... 77 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,034 the most attractive, 78 00:03:00,068 --> 00:03:05,306 least meth-y couple to have met on our website. 79 00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:09,443 I have invited them to be our guests of honor 80 00:03:09,477 --> 00:03:13,614 at the annual Halloween party as a promotional tool. 81 00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:17,172 Press will be there, so, please, if you are coming, 82 00:03:17,207 --> 00:03:20,075 wear a sexy costume, unless you're not sexy, 83 00:03:20,109 --> 00:03:22,244 in which case, wear a costume 84 00:03:22,278 --> 00:03:27,082 which will cover whatever your problem areas are. 85 00:03:27,116 --> 00:03:28,350 Happy Halloween! 86 00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:32,654 [Whistling] 87 00:03:32,689 --> 00:03:34,772 You're still not talking to me? 88 00:03:35,088 --> 00:03:37,255 Check out this guy. 89 00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:40,392 For 20 years, we've been doing a "Ghostbusters" Halloween, 90 00:03:40,426 --> 00:03:42,160 and then suddenly I'm cast aside 91 00:03:42,195 --> 00:03:44,696 because of some chick he met a month ago, you know. 92 00:03:44,731 --> 00:03:45,897 You do the math, right? 93 00:03:45,932 --> 00:03:48,433 - What math? - What are you talking about? 94 00:03:48,468 --> 00:03:50,502 Thanks for the chat, guys. 95 00:03:50,536 --> 00:03:53,438 Hey, Walter, what's going on? Want to get some lunch? 96 00:03:53,473 --> 00:03:55,641 You're doing a couple's costume with him, Zelda. 97 00:03:55,675 --> 00:03:57,242 What about our couple's costume? 98 00:03:57,276 --> 00:03:59,511 - You can still go as Laverne. - Alone? 99 00:03:59,545 --> 00:04:02,547 Like in season eight, where Shirley abandons me for Walter? 100 00:04:02,582 --> 00:04:04,883 That was because of a contract dispute with the actor, 101 00:04:04,917 --> 00:04:06,251 and you're not on the show. 102 00:04:06,285 --> 00:04:08,520 Well, I feel like I am. 103 00:04:10,723 --> 00:04:12,858 - We were in a meeting, right? - [Scoffs] 104 00:04:17,158 --> 00:04:18,183 Zelda: Hello. 105 00:04:18,221 --> 00:04:19,131 Thank you both for coming. 106 00:04:19,165 --> 00:04:21,775 - We bought you coffee. - Stu: What's the point? 107 00:04:21,788 --> 00:04:23,422 Aren't you just gonna take it back 108 00:04:23,456 --> 00:04:25,447 and give it to each other and then make out on it? 109 00:04:25,485 --> 00:04:26,673 Shall we? 110 00:04:28,094 --> 00:04:29,862 [Clears throat] All right. 111 00:04:31,398 --> 00:04:33,399 So, we would like to start off this meeting by saying 112 00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:35,167 that we both understand that you are upset 113 00:04:35,201 --> 00:04:37,436 because we went ahead and planned this party 114 00:04:37,470 --> 00:04:41,106 without taking our traditions into consideration. 115 00:04:41,141 --> 00:04:43,675 I think Zelda and I might have gotten 116 00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:47,446 a little overexcited about our month together. 117 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,582 Yeah. I've worn socks longer than a month. 118 00:04:50,884 --> 00:04:52,584 We should have told you ahead of time. 119 00:04:52,619 --> 00:04:55,454 Yeah, no, a heads-up would have been... Human. 120 00:04:55,488 --> 00:04:57,523 We are very sorry. 121 00:04:57,557 --> 00:05:00,159 - Not as sorry as we are. - And we're not really sorry. 122 00:05:00,193 --> 00:05:02,494 I think what Zelda and I are trying to say is 123 00:05:02,529 --> 00:05:06,231 we would like the both of you to be a part of it. 124 00:05:06,266 --> 00:05:10,102 Yeah. So, let's all do this party together. 125 00:05:10,136 --> 00:05:11,203 Is this a prank? 126 00:05:11,237 --> 00:05:12,705 - You pranking me? - This is real life. 127 00:05:12,739 --> 00:05:13,973 - You serious? - Yes. 128 00:05:14,007 --> 00:05:15,774 - That's awesome. - Good. 129 00:05:15,809 --> 00:05:17,543 - I think that's pretty great. - Yeah. 130 00:05:17,577 --> 00:05:19,445 I mean, we could help with the planning. 131 00:05:19,479 --> 00:05:21,313 - Even better. - What did you have in mind? 132 00:05:21,348 --> 00:05:23,682 - Well, um, it's just the invite. - The invites. 133 00:05:23,717 --> 00:05:25,517 - Yeah, you've seen it. - Okay. 134 00:05:25,552 --> 00:05:26,819 It's just... it could do with a little tweaking. 135 00:05:26,853 --> 00:05:28,854 Like a zhuzh. Like an adjustment. 136 00:05:28,888 --> 00:05:30,689 - Great. - Great. 137 00:05:30,724 --> 00:05:33,826 - [Wolf howls] - [Groaning] 138 00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:35,194 Zelda: Oh. 139 00:05:35,228 --> 00:05:37,229 Oh! 140 00:05:37,264 --> 00:05:39,198 - [Thunder rumbles] - No! 141 00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:51,813 [Groaning] 142 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,757 I am really looking forward to our party. 143 00:05:54,791 --> 00:05:56,392 Yeah, that invitation kind of upset me. 144 00:05:56,426 --> 00:05:58,160 - Yeah, it felt personal. - Right. 145 00:05:58,194 --> 00:06:00,329 I guess we can't complain, though. 146 00:06:00,363 --> 00:06:02,364 I mean, our friends are clearly happy, 147 00:06:02,399 --> 00:06:04,818 and we still get to throw a party celebrating us. 148 00:06:04,844 --> 00:06:05,842 Zelda: Great. 149 00:06:05,893 --> 00:06:07,469 You tell Zelda about the food? 150 00:06:07,504 --> 00:06:11,385 Uh, Stu was thinking we go Asian street food. 151 00:06:11,423 --> 00:06:13,408 - Can I confirm? - Um... hi. 152 00:06:13,446 --> 00:06:15,411 Uh, that is fine by me, but I think Stephie 153 00:06:15,445 --> 00:06:17,680 was thinking of doing a French-bistro sort of thing. 154 00:06:17,714 --> 00:06:19,448 But let me see if she's open to trying something... 155 00:06:19,482 --> 00:06:23,085 No. I was up all night caramelizing onions. No. 156 00:06:23,119 --> 00:06:25,765 Uh, no. That's an... that's a no. 157 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:28,471 That is a no-go on the Asian street food. 158 00:06:28,506 --> 00:06:30,572 - What? - Yeah. 159 00:06:30,711 --> 00:06:31,841 What are you doing? 160 00:06:31,876 --> 00:06:34,844 We are doing the Asian street food 161 00:06:34,879 --> 00:06:37,013 because I got six skinned rabbits hanging in our shower. 162 00:06:37,047 --> 00:06:38,481 - Oh, my God. - Stu, get off the line. 163 00:06:38,516 --> 00:06:41,050 Fine. But I'm expecting no pushback on the "Ghostbusters" theme. 164 00:06:41,085 --> 00:06:43,052 We're having a "Ghostbusters" theme? 165 00:06:43,087 --> 00:06:44,487 We're having a "Ghostbusters" theme? 166 00:06:44,522 --> 00:06:46,790 Uh, no, we're not. The theme is haunted Paris. 167 00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,424 Will you put Stephie on the phone, please? 168 00:06:49,460 --> 00:06:50,827 Uh... Okay. 169 00:06:50,861 --> 00:06:53,296 Stephie, it's, uh, Stu. Can you... 170 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,698 This ought to be exciting. 171 00:06:55,733 --> 00:06:58,268 - What the hell do you want? - To not throw the world's 172 00:06:58,302 --> 00:06:59,869 worst Halloween party, that's what I want. 173 00:06:59,904 --> 00:07:01,867 So you won't be coming. Fabulous. 174 00:07:01,893 --> 00:07:03,878 [Laughs] That's funny. That's really funny. 175 00:07:03,916 --> 00:07:05,450 We'll send you some pictures. How about that? 176 00:07:05,484 --> 00:07:06,885 I'm gonna get a bunch of homeless people 177 00:07:06,919 --> 00:07:08,687 and dress them up just like me... 178 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,955 - And I'm gonna invite them to your house. - And don't raise your voice at me. 179 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,327 [Scoffs] 180 00:07:15,361 --> 00:07:17,128 [Sighs] When I think about what a positive impact 181 00:07:17,163 --> 00:07:18,530 this party is going to have, 182 00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,465 and how pleased I'm going to be with myself 183 00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:22,867 [sniffles] I get choked up. 184 00:07:22,902 --> 00:07:24,436 Yeah. Speaking of choking, 185 00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:27,038 that's exactly what he did to her last night on a cruise ship. 186 00:07:27,073 --> 00:07:29,708 I'm not following. 187 00:07:29,742 --> 00:07:31,142 Well, according to reports, 188 00:07:31,177 --> 00:07:33,405 after days of relentless arguing, 189 00:07:33,443 --> 00:07:36,414 Donna Henry brained Jim Henry with a shuffleboard puck. 190 00:07:36,449 --> 00:07:38,316 A double choking then ensued, 191 00:07:38,351 --> 00:07:40,151 and they both went over the side of the moonlight deck. 192 00:07:40,186 --> 00:07:42,087 But they're still coming, right? 193 00:07:42,121 --> 00:07:44,589 Well, the venezuelan coast guard's looking for the bodies, but... 194 00:07:44,623 --> 00:07:46,768 So we need a new couple. 195 00:07:46,806 --> 00:07:48,226 - Yeah. - Damn it! 196 00:07:48,897 --> 00:07:50,832 If we're gonna have haunted Paris, right, we need at least... 197 00:07:50,866 --> 00:07:52,667 "if"? What do you mean, "if"? We are having haunted Paris. 198 00:07:52,701 --> 00:07:54,435 Stu: I'm just saying, if we are going to... 199 00:07:54,470 --> 00:07:56,404 - Can you leave Paris to me? - No, no, no, no, no, no. 200 00:07:56,424 --> 00:07:57,259 Stu and Stephie! 201 00:07:57,284 --> 00:07:58,473 - There's nothing scary about Paris! - Guys. 202 00:07:58,507 --> 00:08:00,541 - Hey, guys, guys. - They're trying to speak. Shush. 203 00:08:00,576 --> 00:08:03,211 So, we're so excited that you are involved 204 00:08:03,245 --> 00:08:05,380 - in this party and that you're excited. - Thank you. Yes. 205 00:08:05,414 --> 00:08:08,850 But we need you to stop constantly bickering. 206 00:08:08,884 --> 00:08:11,119 - It's horrible. - We... we thought you guys were cool 207 00:08:11,153 --> 00:08:14,592 with the theme being half haunted Paris, half "Ghostbusters." 208 00:08:14,605 --> 00:08:16,940 Oh, I'm very cool. I'm cool as a cucumber. It's him. 209 00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:21,077 He insists on putting green goop on my decorations. 210 00:08:21,112 --> 00:08:23,451 All over them. It's called ectoplasm. 211 00:08:23,489 --> 00:08:26,807 And also, she keeps deflating my stay puft marshmallow man. 212 00:08:26,832 --> 00:08:28,585 That balloon is very annoying, and it keeps... 213 00:08:28,623 --> 00:08:29,420 "Balloon." 214 00:08:29,483 --> 00:08:31,869 He also wants to spend 90% of our budget 215 00:08:31,904 --> 00:08:34,272 hiring someone called "Ray Parker Jr." 216 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:36,240 - Or something like that who nobody knows. - "Someone called ray Parker Jr." 217 00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:37,849 It's like, he's sang the "Ghostbusters" theme... 218 00:08:37,874 --> 00:08:38,946 I don't care what he sings. 219 00:08:38,984 --> 00:08:40,178 - The single best "Ghostbusters" theme... - He's not worth... 220 00:08:40,212 --> 00:08:41,879 - that has been recorded. - Okay. 221 00:08:41,914 --> 00:08:43,481 - I feel like I'm dealing with a child. - Just... 222 00:08:43,515 --> 00:08:44,983 You want brie cheese, right? You want brie cheese. 223 00:08:45,017 --> 00:08:46,784 Yes, I want brie cheese. If we're gonna do cheese, 224 00:08:46,819 --> 00:08:48,820 - Why don't we do muenster cheese? - No, no, no, no, no, no. 225 00:08:48,854 --> 00:08:50,254 - At least it sounds like "the munsters." - The cheese... 226 00:08:50,289 --> 00:08:51,923 - Guys. Guys. - Guys! 227 00:08:51,957 --> 00:08:53,309 Stu and Stephie, both of you listen. 228 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,095 You guys are acting nuts, so the party's off. 229 00:08:56,129 --> 00:08:56,995 Are you serious? 230 00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:58,230 - Yes. - Yes, we are serious. 231 00:08:58,264 --> 00:08:59,999 We wanted to involve you because you two 232 00:09:00,033 --> 00:09:02,868 have been the most important relationships of our lives. 233 00:09:02,902 --> 00:09:04,203 - Of our whole lives. - We love you. 234 00:09:04,237 --> 00:09:05,838 But you know what? Things change, guys. 235 00:09:05,872 --> 00:09:07,139 - They're changing. - Things are changing. 236 00:09:07,173 --> 00:09:08,273 Yes, it is a boyfriend-girlfriend. 237 00:09:08,308 --> 00:09:10,576 It's not a boyfriend-boyfriend's friend/ girlfriend-girlfriend's friend. 238 00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:11,777 Did I say that right? 239 00:09:11,811 --> 00:09:14,079 Which the... what she said is... yeah. 240 00:09:14,114 --> 00:09:15,963 - I'm glad the party's canceled. - Great. 241 00:09:16,001 --> 00:09:19,270 And I am gonna go and eat these empanadas 242 00:09:19,305 --> 00:09:21,773 shaped like Rick Moranis by myself. 243 00:09:21,807 --> 00:09:24,309 Don't choke and fall and split your head and die. 244 00:09:24,343 --> 00:09:26,911 Don't do that. That would be awful. 245 00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:30,715 What do you mean we can't find another successful couple? 246 00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:32,384 The party is tonight. 247 00:09:32,418 --> 00:09:33,985 What about all the ones on this wall? 248 00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:35,787 Well, we've been through all of them. 249 00:09:35,821 --> 00:09:38,089 And of the four that are local, two are divorced, 250 00:09:38,124 --> 00:09:39,791 and one started a polygamist cult. 251 00:09:39,825 --> 00:09:41,426 We're waiting for an update on the fourth. 252 00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:43,995 Oh, um [Chuckles] well, we found them. 253 00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:45,897 On a county coroner's website. 254 00:09:45,932 --> 00:09:47,899 They murdered each other two years ago. 255 00:09:47,934 --> 00:09:49,334 Well, this is just great. 256 00:09:49,368 --> 00:09:50,835 We don't have a golden couple, 257 00:09:50,870 --> 00:09:52,971 and our algorithm may be killing people. 258 00:09:53,005 --> 00:09:54,105 Hmm. No. 259 00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:56,107 Don't lose hope. We're gonna find a great couple. 260 00:09:56,142 --> 00:09:59,578 I don't need great. At this point... 261 00:09:59,612 --> 00:10:02,147 I just need them to be alive. 262 00:10:02,181 --> 00:10:04,316 What? Did I miss it? What were you looking at? 263 00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:06,651 Where... why are you walking away? What is going on? 264 00:10:06,686 --> 00:10:08,753 I think it is a good thing that we set them straight, 265 00:10:08,788 --> 00:10:10,789 although Stephie is pretty mad at me. 266 00:10:10,823 --> 00:10:12,324 Andrew: Stu cooked me a whole breakfast 267 00:10:12,358 --> 00:10:14,826 and then put it in the trash while I watched. 268 00:10:14,889 --> 00:10:16,757 You know what? They'll get over it. 269 00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:19,226 And actually, I'm glad that we don't have to do this party anymore 270 00:10:19,260 --> 00:10:21,128 because I was getting very uncomfortable 271 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,230 with being the center of attention like that. 272 00:10:23,264 --> 00:10:26,500 [Singsong voice] Congratulations! Whoo! 273 00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:29,503 You're Wallflower's new golden couple, 274 00:10:29,537 --> 00:10:32,072 and we're having a party tonight in your honor. 275 00:10:32,107 --> 00:10:34,608 After that, you both can go crap in the ocean for all I care. 276 00:10:34,642 --> 00:10:36,410 Lydia, I don't want to be the golden couple. 277 00:10:36,444 --> 00:10:37,778 And I don't want to crap in the ocean. 278 00:10:37,812 --> 00:10:39,313 Besides, we didn't meet on Wallflower. 279 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:40,614 Don't care. You're doing it. 280 00:10:40,648 --> 00:10:42,783 Since when is this a part of my job description? 281 00:10:42,817 --> 00:10:44,167 Right now. 282 00:10:47,589 --> 00:10:51,024 "Oh, and, hi, Zelda. We've met before." 283 00:10:54,185 --> 00:10:55,486 [Dance music plays] 284 00:11:03,078 --> 00:11:05,947 - I owe you big time. - Yes, you do. 285 00:11:05,981 --> 00:11:08,850 It smells like exposed breasts in here. 286 00:11:08,884 --> 00:11:11,152 Is that a slutty Sherlock Holmes? 287 00:11:11,186 --> 00:11:13,321 - Think so. So cold. - Emily, the reporter, 288 00:11:13,355 --> 00:11:15,556 meet our golden couple. 289 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:18,126 Hi. This is Andrew Lofland and... 290 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,760 Zelda. 291 00:11:19,795 --> 00:11:22,163 So, how long have you two been together? 292 00:11:22,197 --> 00:11:25,433 Uh, actually, it's our month-aversary. 293 00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:26,667 - [Chuckles] - But... 294 00:11:26,702 --> 00:11:28,903 - [Laughs] - [Laughs] 295 00:11:28,937 --> 00:11:32,707 Oh, they love each other so much that they celebrate 296 00:11:32,741 --> 00:11:35,815 the entire month that they met, which was five years ago. 297 00:11:35,852 --> 00:11:37,553 - Can you believe it? - [Laughs] 298 00:11:37,587 --> 00:11:39,888 I was about to say... a month is nothing. 299 00:11:39,923 --> 00:11:41,190 I mean, at that point, 300 00:11:41,224 --> 00:11:42,825 you're still sleeping with other people. 301 00:11:42,859 --> 00:11:44,226 Oh, my God. I know. 302 00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:47,129 Right, Emily, let's go get you a drink. 303 00:11:52,109 --> 00:11:54,244 I don't know how much more I can take of this. 304 00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:56,412 Yeah, this night can't get any more painful. 305 00:11:56,447 --> 00:11:58,081 Stephie: Hi, guys. Hi. Hi. 306 00:11:58,115 --> 00:12:00,817 Stephie, what are you doing here? 307 00:12:00,851 --> 00:12:03,052 Oh, well, I'm still a member of Wallflower, 308 00:12:03,087 --> 00:12:06,189 and so I still get invited to all these sexy single things. 309 00:12:06,224 --> 00:12:07,524 And it's really nice to know 310 00:12:07,558 --> 00:12:09,559 that someone still finds me sexy. 311 00:12:09,594 --> 00:12:11,928 - No one ever said that you weren't sexy. - I mean, who knows? 312 00:12:11,963 --> 00:12:14,664 I might find someone tonight, and then a month would go by, 313 00:12:14,699 --> 00:12:16,767 and I could just replace everybody I love 314 00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:17,934 with a random guy. 315 00:12:17,969 --> 00:12:19,236 Oh, come on. 316 00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:20,837 - I'm gonna give you guys the room. - Thank you. 317 00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,906 - See you later. - It's just the two of us. 318 00:12:22,940 --> 00:12:24,526 - Do you feel uncomfortable? - Yes, I know. No, we live together. 319 00:12:24,551 --> 00:12:25,284 Want to invite him back? 320 00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:28,524 Hi. I'm gonna just squeeze through right here. 321 00:12:28,626 --> 00:12:31,328 Hey, Andrew. What's up? Where's Zelda? I don't care. 322 00:12:31,362 --> 00:12:33,897 I'm just here hanging out with my new best friend. 323 00:12:33,931 --> 00:12:35,799 That's great, Stu. Who's your new best friend? 324 00:12:35,833 --> 00:12:37,701 Oh, Mr. Ray Parker Jr.. 325 00:12:37,735 --> 00:12:41,171 - Hey. - Oh, my God. Oh, hi, uh, Ray Parker Jr.. 326 00:12:41,205 --> 00:12:43,273 Where's the Mike? I'm all warmed up. 327 00:12:43,307 --> 00:12:45,141 [Laughs] Yeah. Come on, new best friend. 328 00:12:45,176 --> 00:12:46,810 We're gonna go do something that makes us feel good, 329 00:12:46,844 --> 00:12:48,812 and for him, that's bustin'. 330 00:12:48,846 --> 00:12:51,882 You know, when you say stuff like that, the price goes up. 331 00:12:51,916 --> 00:12:53,683 Your people have my credit card, all right? 332 00:12:53,718 --> 00:12:54,985 I can call them. [Chuckles] 333 00:12:55,019 --> 00:12:56,353 Feeling jealous? 334 00:13:02,493 --> 00:13:03,860 Yeah, who are all these people? 335 00:13:03,895 --> 00:13:06,696 Mostly sexy singles who use our site. 336 00:13:06,731 --> 00:13:09,299 And that's the beauty of Wallflower, Emily. 337 00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:11,768 Our golden couple used to be just like 338 00:13:11,802 --> 00:13:14,838 these very single... 339 00:13:14,872 --> 00:13:17,941 Very sexy people. 340 00:13:20,545 --> 00:13:23,447 Howard. Handle them. 341 00:13:23,481 --> 00:13:26,049 Oh, right. Pardon me. 342 00:13:27,919 --> 00:13:30,287 - You're so pretty. - Oh. [Laughs] 343 00:13:30,321 --> 00:13:31,655 Candy. Ow. 344 00:13:31,689 --> 00:13:33,190 Hey, you two. Oh, hey. 345 00:13:33,224 --> 00:13:35,425 - Great costumes. - [Chuckles] Thank you. 346 00:13:35,460 --> 00:13:38,357 Lady in a black dress and Super Mario. 347 00:13:38,408 --> 00:13:40,142 - "Magnum, P.I." - Great! 348 00:13:40,176 --> 00:13:41,710 - Come on with me. - Where to? 349 00:13:41,745 --> 00:13:43,612 We're going to an exclusive room 350 00:13:43,647 --> 00:13:47,383 where the party's truly off the ch-zain. 351 00:13:47,417 --> 00:13:49,551 - Like a vip room? - Sure. 352 00:13:49,586 --> 00:13:52,388 Why is the doorman on our side of the door? 353 00:13:52,422 --> 00:13:53,922 I don't know. 354 00:13:53,957 --> 00:13:55,724 We'd like to leave now. 355 00:13:55,759 --> 00:13:57,815 I'm afraid that's not possible. 356 00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:02,231 There's Nancy the receptionist. Hi. 357 00:14:02,265 --> 00:14:04,433 Silent Arnold. 358 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,662 And Sage and the rest of the programming department. 359 00:14:07,696 --> 00:14:10,331 I don't think this is the vip room. 360 00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:12,167 [Thunder rumbles] 361 00:14:12,201 --> 00:14:14,135 It's nerd jail. 362 00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:17,511 Let's just try and forget 363 00:14:17,545 --> 00:14:18,812 about what happened with that reporter. 364 00:14:18,846 --> 00:14:20,013 It's my fault. 365 00:14:20,048 --> 00:14:22,049 I overestimated your ability to think on your feet. 366 00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:23,417 I just assumed everyone in this town 367 00:14:23,451 --> 00:14:24,785 had been through level-one improv. 368 00:14:24,819 --> 00:14:26,253 - Okay, Lydia... - No! 369 00:14:26,287 --> 00:14:29,222 My future at this company may well ride on this event, 370 00:14:29,257 --> 00:14:32,030 and if I go down, so will you. 371 00:14:32,055 --> 00:14:33,689 Not you. 372 00:14:33,724 --> 00:14:35,291 You're pretty much free to leave whenever you wish. 373 00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:37,560 - Hmm. - Well, I'm with him, so... 374 00:14:37,594 --> 00:14:39,295 Suit yourself, anime eyes. 375 00:14:39,329 --> 00:14:43,800 Now just stand there and don't talk to anyone. 376 00:14:49,046 --> 00:14:51,481 They look like they're having fun. 377 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:52,749 Lora: This sucks. 378 00:14:52,783 --> 00:14:55,752 The good cheese is all out there. 379 00:14:55,786 --> 00:14:57,687 Sage: You know what this is? This is a kidnapping. 380 00:14:57,722 --> 00:15:00,190 Stand back. I'm gonna set us free. 381 00:15:00,224 --> 00:15:02,692 W-w-w-w-wait, wait! Whoa. 382 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:05,595 - Uh, I-I'll get us out of here. - How? 383 00:15:05,629 --> 00:15:08,498 I'll climb through the ventilation ducts. 384 00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:10,166 This isn't a movie. 385 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,511 Air ducts support air, not people. 386 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,812 You'll fall to your death. 387 00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,447 Are you calling me husky? 388 00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,749 No. I'm calling you an idiot. 389 00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:26,658 [As squiggy] Hello, Laverne. 390 00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,861 [Chuckling] That's actually quite funny. 391 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,429 Yeah. I knew you'd like it. 392 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,992 You know, um, since there's no party, 393 00:15:35,055 --> 00:15:37,022 technically, we have no reason to fight. 394 00:15:37,057 --> 00:15:38,457 Oh, I'm sure I could find one. 395 00:15:38,491 --> 00:15:39,825 - Yeah? - Yeah. 396 00:15:39,859 --> 00:15:41,927 But my heart's just not in it, so you're off the hook. 397 00:15:41,962 --> 00:15:43,095 - Yeah. - [Chuckles] 398 00:15:43,129 --> 00:15:46,031 Well, look at them being civil. 399 00:15:46,066 --> 00:15:48,467 What do you think they're talking about? 400 00:15:48,501 --> 00:15:51,470 Sure it's not coming up with ways to apologize to us. 401 00:15:51,504 --> 00:15:53,372 We could start using paintballs on them. 402 00:15:53,406 --> 00:15:55,140 And they hurt, and surprise them, 403 00:15:55,175 --> 00:15:56,909 - especially if we aim for the face. - Hello. 404 00:15:56,947 --> 00:15:58,981 - Oh, look who it is. - Oh, look. It's the golden couple. 405 00:15:59,016 --> 00:16:00,916 - Oh, very good. All right! - Oh, so shiny! 406 00:16:00,951 --> 00:16:02,918 - That's about enough of that. - That is enough. 407 00:16:02,953 --> 00:16:04,820 You have no reason to be angry at us anymore. 408 00:16:04,855 --> 00:16:06,188 Um, no reason? Okay, excuse me. 409 00:16:06,223 --> 00:16:08,858 First of all, you exclude us from your party, 410 00:16:08,892 --> 00:16:10,493 and then you include us in your party, 411 00:16:10,527 --> 00:16:12,161 and then you exclude us from your life. 412 00:16:12,195 --> 00:16:14,463 I mean, it's like an emotional roller coaster with you. 413 00:16:14,498 --> 00:16:16,599 And not one of those upside-down ones like I like. 414 00:16:16,633 --> 00:16:18,234 You know why we canceled our party? 415 00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:19,935 Because you two were acting like a couple 416 00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:22,138 of crazed mother-in-laws fighting over a wedding! 417 00:16:22,172 --> 00:16:23,906 It's "mothers-in-law." The "s" is in the middle. 418 00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:25,508 - This is clearly the wrong time. - It's not the time. 419 00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:27,176 - This isn't about grammar. - This is about you. 420 00:16:27,211 --> 00:16:29,145 I told you two not to move! 421 00:16:29,179 --> 00:16:31,380 All you two need to shut up 422 00:16:31,415 --> 00:16:34,283 or I will send you to the vip room. 423 00:16:34,318 --> 00:16:35,818 And who celebrates a one-month anniversary anyway? 424 00:16:35,852 --> 00:16:37,620 Th stupid. Stu: I'll tell you who. 425 00:16:37,654 --> 00:16:39,655 I'll tell you who. 15-year-olds and dictators. 426 00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:42,758 I'm sorry. Did you say they've only been dating a month? 427 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,293 [Chuckles] 428 00:16:44,328 --> 00:16:45,828 [Sighs] 429 00:16:45,862 --> 00:16:48,364 [Thumping] [Shouts] 430 00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:50,499 [Music stops] 431 00:16:52,135 --> 00:16:54,437 Oh, don't worry. It's just Magnum, P.I. 432 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,689 [Crowd murmuring] 433 00:17:00,723 --> 00:17:02,357 He's dead. 434 00:17:02,392 --> 00:17:05,527 [Sighs] I told him. 435 00:17:05,561 --> 00:17:07,629 [Coughing] 436 00:17:08,831 --> 00:17:11,099 Ray Parker Jr.? 437 00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:13,969 - Am I in heaven? - [Laughter] 438 00:17:14,003 --> 00:17:16,838 [Cheers and applause] 439 00:17:16,873 --> 00:17:19,797 I'm okay. I'm okay. 440 00:17:19,847 --> 00:17:21,748 - Andrew: Is this really necessary? - Lydia: Yes. 441 00:17:21,782 --> 00:17:24,017 We can see where we're going. 442 00:17:24,051 --> 00:17:27,687 Stay here while I try and do damage control with the press. 443 00:17:27,721 --> 00:17:30,223 You don't deserve this. 444 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,891 [Groans] 445 00:17:33,894 --> 00:17:35,962 [Sighs] 446 00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:43,436 Okay. Um, so, I think that we all 447 00:17:43,470 --> 00:17:47,040 have said and done things that we regret this evening. 448 00:17:47,074 --> 00:17:48,766 No, we didn't. You two did. 449 00:17:48,816 --> 00:17:51,217 You were wrong, and we were wrong. It's all the same. 450 00:17:51,252 --> 00:17:53,820 But I guess for now, we accept your apology. 451 00:17:53,854 --> 00:17:55,055 Okay, that's enough. 452 00:17:55,089 --> 00:17:57,357 You're both acting like giant babies over nothing. 453 00:17:57,391 --> 00:17:59,959 Wow. Shows how much you know. 454 00:17:59,994 --> 00:18:01,761 [Scoffs] Yeah. 455 00:18:01,796 --> 00:18:04,330 Pbht. Pbht. Pbht. 456 00:18:04,365 --> 00:18:06,066 - Pbht. - Oh, my God. 457 00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:07,334 - Pbht. - [Spits] 458 00:18:07,368 --> 00:18:08,468 All right, I didn't have peanuts. 459 00:18:08,502 --> 00:18:09,602 No, no, no. He was scoffing. 460 00:18:09,637 --> 00:18:10,837 - I was scoffing. - He was scoffing. 461 00:18:10,871 --> 00:18:12,205 He was just scoffing. 462 00:18:12,814 --> 00:18:15,950 I was scoffing at how insensitive you guys have been. 463 00:18:17,586 --> 00:18:20,588 We're your best friends, and you're replacing us. 464 00:18:20,622 --> 00:18:25,192 Stu, I've known you since I was nine years old. 465 00:18:25,227 --> 00:18:27,228 Do you honestly think I would let that happen? 466 00:18:27,262 --> 00:18:28,696 When big bird was making me 467 00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:30,431 go through the "success wall" cards, 468 00:18:30,465 --> 00:18:32,533 they all said the same thing. 469 00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,535 Every one of them, all of them, 470 00:18:34,569 --> 00:18:36,637 including the double-murder ones. 471 00:18:36,672 --> 00:18:39,106 They all called their significant others 472 00:18:39,141 --> 00:18:40,241 their best friend. 473 00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:42,543 But I'm your best friend. 474 00:18:42,578 --> 00:18:44,579 So what happens to me? 475 00:18:47,249 --> 00:18:50,451 I mean, you said it yourself. 476 00:18:50,485 --> 00:18:53,354 - Things are changing. - No, they're... no, no. 477 00:18:53,388 --> 00:18:55,089 I-I don't... 478 00:18:55,123 --> 00:18:59,226 we may have gotten a little ahead of ourselves, I think. 479 00:18:59,261 --> 00:19:01,562 Yeah. I mean, we... we're... we've been together a month. 480 00:19:01,596 --> 00:19:02,730 That's nothing. 481 00:19:02,764 --> 00:19:04,098 A fact that we've been reminded of 482 00:19:04,132 --> 00:19:06,434 over and over and over and over again tonight. 483 00:19:06,468 --> 00:19:07,702 Oh, please. 484 00:19:07,736 --> 00:19:11,973 I mean, yes, for normal couples, a month is nothing. 485 00:19:12,007 --> 00:19:15,443 But for you two, it's just like it feels so... 486 00:19:15,477 --> 00:19:16,444 Different. 487 00:19:17,512 --> 00:19:19,246 Stephie: Yeah. 488 00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:24,051 [Groans] 489 00:19:24,086 --> 00:19:26,821 Howard, where's scoop? 490 00:19:26,855 --> 00:19:28,122 The reporter? 491 00:19:28,156 --> 00:19:29,690 - I talked to her. - What did she say? 492 00:19:29,725 --> 00:19:31,726 I begged her to pull the article, and she refused. 493 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,628 [Sighs] Damn it, Howard! 494 00:19:33,662 --> 00:19:35,863 She said the slant of the article is gonna be 495 00:19:35,897 --> 00:19:37,298 that if you're looking for love, 496 00:19:37,332 --> 00:19:39,300 Wallflower is not the right site. 497 00:19:39,334 --> 00:19:42,603 But if you're looking for fun, 498 00:19:42,638 --> 00:19:45,106 if you're looking for sexy singles, 499 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,996 Wallflower's the site for you. 500 00:19:48,818 --> 00:19:51,157 I couldn't have written it better myself. 501 00:19:56,084 --> 00:19:58,586 - That's a lot of cheese. - Shh. 502 00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:00,555 Stu: It was awesome. Big chest. 503 00:20:00,589 --> 00:20:03,758 No, the guy. The costume. 504 00:20:03,792 --> 00:20:05,660 Yeah, that's how she does it. 505 00:20:05,694 --> 00:20:07,461 That's why she makes it at all. 506 00:20:07,496 --> 00:20:08,663 They must have been eating pickles 507 00:20:08,697 --> 00:20:10,197 and drinking Mike's hard lemonade. 508 00:20:10,232 --> 00:20:12,266 Oh. 509 00:20:15,737 --> 00:20:17,805 I got this for you, Zelda. 510 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,373 - [Chuckles] - Thank you, Stu. 511 00:20:19,408 --> 00:20:21,809 Zelda: Thank you guys so much for bringing our costumes. 512 00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:24,378 Well, I had a feeling you guys would come around, so.. 513 00:20:24,413 --> 00:20:26,280 What if, after this, 514 00:20:26,315 --> 00:20:28,182 we watched your "Ghostbusters" film? 515 00:20:28,216 --> 00:20:30,284 [Laughing] Yeah! 516 00:20:30,319 --> 00:20:31,986 And then we can watch "Laverne & Shirley." 517 00:20:32,020 --> 00:20:33,721 - Yeah! - [Laughs] 518 00:20:33,755 --> 00:20:34,956 - Yeah! - [Laughs] 519 00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:36,157 [Groans] 520 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:38,359 [Laughter] 521 00:20:40,529 --> 00:20:41,996 Narrator: As for Stu and Stephie's fear 522 00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:43,564 of being replaced, 523 00:20:43,599 --> 00:20:44,966 I'll say this... 524 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,400 Andrew and Zelda, 525 00:20:46,435 --> 00:20:48,830 at least at this point in their relationship, 526 00:20:48,893 --> 00:20:51,523 are not best friends. 527 00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:55,177 They're something... Different. 528 00:20:55,696 --> 00:20:59,755 Sync & corrections by madhatters www.addic7ed.com