1
00:00:04,203 --> 00:00:06,943
Oh, shoot! I don't want to wait.
2
00:00:06,977 --> 00:00:09,279
Okay, what do you want to do? Thai?
3
00:00:09,312 --> 00:00:11,948
Uh, I like Thai, but I don't like Thai.
4
00:00:11,982 --> 00:00:13,617
- Should we do pinks?
- Pinks?
5
00:00:13,650 --> 00:00:15,018
We... what are we, tourists?
6
00:00:15,051 --> 00:00:16,887
We might as well go to planet Hollywood.
7
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:17,988
Okay, yes, I deserved that.
8
00:00:18,021 --> 00:00:19,356
Uh, what do you... what do you want to do?
9
00:00:19,389 --> 00:00:21,157
Me? I don't... it's up to you.
10
00:00:21,191 --> 00:00:23,059
I'll go wherever you want to go.
11
00:00:23,093 --> 00:00:24,528
- I'm starving.
- Oh, oh. Oh, my!
12
00:00:24,561 --> 00:00:25,829
Maybe watch where you're...
13
00:00:25,862 --> 00:00:27,831
You just made me drop my bean burrito!
14
00:00:27,864 --> 00:00:29,699
Watch where you're going, ho!
15
00:00:30,903 --> 00:00:34,704
- What did you just call her?
- I called her a ho, bitch.
16
00:00:34,738 --> 00:00:35,906
- [Crowd murmurs]
- [Ding!]
17
00:00:35,939 --> 00:00:38,341
Narrator: Andrew is no
stranger to confrontation.
18
00:00:38,375 --> 00:00:40,911
After his mother died, he had anger issues.
19
00:00:40,944 --> 00:00:43,914
He calls this move "The Spider Monkey."
20
00:00:43,947 --> 00:00:46,516
So Andrew's father found a way
for him to channel his rage.
21
00:00:46,550 --> 00:00:48,818
[Grunts] [Ding!]
22
00:00:48,852 --> 00:00:50,820
Narrator: In this moment, Andrew wonders,
23
00:00:50,854 --> 00:00:52,822
"does Zelda want a fighter,
or does she want..."
24
00:00:52,856 --> 00:00:54,491
Hey! Listen up.
25
00:00:54,524 --> 00:00:57,193
Let me tell you why you're
so angry tonight, okay?
26
00:00:57,227 --> 00:00:59,362
'Cause you got all dressed
up in your finest tank top
27
00:00:59,396 --> 00:01:01,197
with your puka-shell necklace,
28
00:01:01,231 --> 00:01:03,667
but here you are drunk
and alone and frustrated,
29
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,369
and now you're gonna be
walking home with one sandal.
30
00:01:06,403 --> 00:01:08,672
- Huh?
- Woman: Roof it! Whoo!
31
00:01:08,705 --> 00:01:11,107
- Hey. Hey. Come on. Zelda. Zelda!
- [Crowd chanting "roof it!"]
32
00:01:11,141 --> 00:01:12,409
Please don't roof my sandal.
33
00:01:12,442 --> 00:01:14,411
- Oh, it's getting roofed.
- [Chanting continues]
34
00:01:14,444 --> 00:01:15,845
[Cheers and applause]
35
00:01:15,879 --> 00:01:17,747
- That was awesome. That was awesome.
- Not again.
36
00:01:17,781 --> 00:01:18,882
- Woman: She's amazing.
- Woman 2: What just happened?
37
00:01:18,915 --> 00:01:20,717
Your girlfriend's a badass.
38
00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:22,218
That was amazing.
39
00:01:22,252 --> 00:01:25,555
Narrator: Andrew and Zelda
will date for seven months,
40
00:01:25,589 --> 00:01:28,558
one week, four days, and three hours.
41
00:01:28,592 --> 00:01:32,195
This television program is
the comprehensive account
42
00:01:32,228 --> 00:01:34,030
of their relationship...
43
00:01:34,064 --> 00:01:36,066
From A to Z.
44
00:01:41,671 --> 00:01:44,608
All right, so, let's move
on to the "hobbies" section.
45
00:01:44,641 --> 00:01:46,276
I mean, I could have
taken this guy, you know?
46
00:01:46,309 --> 00:01:48,812
And then the next thing I know,
Zelda's roofing his sandal.
47
00:01:48,845 --> 00:01:51,047
I s-shouldn't feel weird
about this, though, right?
48
00:01:51,081 --> 00:01:52,582
Yes, you should.
49
00:01:52,616 --> 00:01:54,250
My fix is, though, we should find the guy,
50
00:01:54,284 --> 00:01:56,453
and we should Spider-Monkey his ass.
51
00:01:56,486 --> 00:01:58,788
Oh, okay, so your fix to
my problem is to track down
52
00:01:58,822 --> 00:02:01,424
a random surfer dude I
met outside of a restaurant
53
00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:04,561
and use my old jujitsu move
on him from middle school.
54
00:02:04,594 --> 00:02:05,762
Yep, and I can do my thing... okay.
55
00:02:05,795 --> 00:02:07,163
Which is like the "everybody, back up.
56
00:02:07,197 --> 00:02:08,832
- Let them work it out," you know?
- Okay.
57
00:02:08,865 --> 00:02:10,567
And then once you get down to the ground...
58
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,802
I'll be like, "take that,
boy!" And then I'll bite him.
59
00:02:19,342 --> 00:02:22,012
Our new client's here.
60
00:02:22,045 --> 00:02:24,614
Dump the unwindable case on the associates.
61
00:02:24,648 --> 00:02:25,849
Oh, I don't know.
62
00:02:25,882 --> 00:02:27,684
I think this could be a
tremendous opportunity for us.
63
00:02:27,717 --> 00:02:29,352
It's this poor, little farmer.
64
00:02:29,386 --> 00:02:31,521
He's being bullied by this
giant bio-tech company.
65
00:02:31,554 --> 00:02:33,189
It's a real David-and-Goliath story.
66
00:02:33,223 --> 00:02:35,091
And you don't take a
case because you can win.
67
00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:36,760
You take it because it's
the right thing to do.
68
00:02:36,793 --> 00:02:39,429
And our client is looking
for somebody... anybody...
69
00:02:39,462 --> 00:02:40,764
Who will help him stand up
70
00:02:40,797 --> 00:02:42,599
against this law-violating behemoth.
71
00:02:42,632 --> 00:02:45,635
Wow, I've never heard you be so
passionate about a case before.
72
00:02:45,669 --> 00:02:49,606
Why, yes, I've really got a
feeling about this one in my gut.
73
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:52,375
There he is.
74
00:02:52,409 --> 00:02:55,845
Are you sure that feeling isn't
a little bit lower in your body?
75
00:02:57,914 --> 00:02:59,683
Lydia, I was watching
"Jerry Maguire" last night,
76
00:02:59,716 --> 00:03:01,851
and it made me realize that if
you have feelings for someone,
77
00:03:01,885 --> 00:03:03,853
you just have to say so, so I love...
78
00:03:03,887 --> 00:03:06,856
[Cellphone vibrating]
79
00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:08,858
Lydia?
80
00:03:08,892 --> 00:03:11,695
Where are you? Why is silent
Arnold sitting at your desk?
81
00:03:11,728 --> 00:03:12,930
Lydia: Turn around.
82
00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,133
I swapped desks for the day.
83
00:03:17,167 --> 00:03:18,868
It's a little management experiment
84
00:03:18,902 --> 00:03:20,603
I learned from Mike Bloomberg.
85
00:03:20,637 --> 00:03:23,506
If you sit amongst your people,
they feel more connected.
86
00:03:23,540 --> 00:03:25,508
Therefore, they will listen to you.
87
00:03:25,542 --> 00:03:28,310
- How's it going so far?
- I'm gonna say a home run.
88
00:03:30,046 --> 00:03:31,214
Stu: I was just thinking.
89
00:03:31,247 --> 00:03:34,217
Forget about what I said about you
tracking him down and then me biting him.
90
00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:37,220
I think I have another plan how
we can regain your lost manhood.
91
00:03:37,253 --> 00:03:38,855
I'm actually okay with my manhood.
92
00:03:38,888 --> 00:03:40,623
That's just your lost manhood talking.
93
00:03:40,657 --> 00:03:43,893
We need to get your edge back so your
girlfriend doesn't think she's dating
94
00:03:43,927 --> 00:03:46,262
some giant talking vagina
with beautiful hair.
95
00:03:46,296 --> 00:03:48,531
All right, right. Do you remember
when we were kids, and I...
96
00:03:48,565 --> 00:03:50,533
No. No, no, no, no, no, st...
97
00:03:50,567 --> 00:03:52,235
Do not Kato me.
98
00:03:52,268 --> 00:03:54,904
Narrator: Kato was a character
from "The Pink Oanther,"
99
00:03:54,938 --> 00:03:58,041
Andrew and Stu's
10th-favorite movie franchise.
100
00:03:58,074 --> 00:04:00,043
He was Inspector Clouseau's assistant...
101
00:04:00,076 --> 00:04:01,711
[All screaming]
102
00:04:01,745 --> 00:04:05,215
Who would attack him at any moment
as a way to keep him on his toes.
103
00:04:05,248 --> 00:04:07,383
Fine. Whatever you say.
104
00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:09,953
I definitely won't not Kato you.
105
00:04:09,986 --> 00:04:12,822
Great. Wait.
106
00:04:18,328 --> 00:04:21,664
[Cellphone vibrating]
107
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:26,836
- Hey. What's up?
- Hey. Nothing.
108
00:04:26,870 --> 00:04:29,606
Just, um... seeing how your day's going.
109
00:04:29,639 --> 00:04:31,107
It's actually pretty rough so far.
110
00:04:31,141 --> 00:04:33,276
I just took on this
giant case. That's great.
111
00:04:33,309 --> 00:04:37,147
Listen, I was going to stand
up to that guy last night.
112
00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:38,982
Yeah, I know. I bet you would have.
113
00:04:39,015 --> 00:04:41,885
But I didn't because I didn't know if
you were into the whole tough-guy thing.
114
00:04:41,918 --> 00:04:43,887
Andrew, big, muscle-bound hotheads...
115
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,256
That's a... that's a huge turn-off for me.
116
00:04:46,289 --> 00:04:49,259
That's what I figured, which
is why I didn't say anything
117
00:04:49,292 --> 00:04:51,394
when that guy called you a dirty ho.
118
00:04:51,427 --> 00:04:52,762
It was just "ho."
119
00:04:52,796 --> 00:04:54,931
Just... there was no "dirt"...
Why did you add in "dirty"?
120
00:04:54,964 --> 00:04:56,855
Anyway, I'm glad that you didn't,
121
00:04:56,906 --> 00:05:00,299
you know, because I like
guys who are level-headed
122
00:05:00,904 --> 00:05:04,507
and sweet, smart, sensitive, funny.
123
00:05:04,541 --> 00:05:06,910
Basically, you.
124
00:05:06,943 --> 00:05:08,912
I also have piercing eyes.
125
00:05:08,945 --> 00:05:12,282
[Chuckles]
126
00:05:12,315 --> 00:05:14,417
But you know I can...
I can see you right now.
127
00:05:14,450 --> 00:05:16,920
I got to... um... there's a...
128
00:05:16,953 --> 00:05:18,955
[Receiver clicks]
129
00:05:18,988 --> 00:05:20,990
[Chuckles]
130
00:05:26,053 --> 00:05:30,053
- [Stephie moans]
- [Clatter]
131
00:05:31,993 --> 00:05:33,361
[Clearing throat]
132
00:05:33,394 --> 00:05:34,929
Uh, Stephie, I...
133
00:05:34,962 --> 00:05:36,164
Hmm? You have something
on your face, I believe.
134
00:05:36,197 --> 00:05:37,165
- It is our client.
- Mm-hmm.
135
00:05:37,198 --> 00:05:40,168
Um, thank you, Frank.
136
00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:42,003
That will be all for today.
137
00:05:42,036 --> 00:05:46,036
And I will, um...See you
tomorrow for some more law.
138
00:05:48,376 --> 00:05:52,914
Okay. Ms. Bennett. Ms. Vasco.
139
00:05:52,947 --> 00:05:55,082
What are you doing?!
140
00:05:55,116 --> 00:05:56,784
But he kissed me. That doesn't matter.
141
00:05:56,817 --> 00:05:58,786
Stephie, you could get fired for this.
142
00:05:58,819 --> 00:06:01,789
Okay, just hear me out.
We are so compatible.
143
00:06:01,822 --> 00:06:03,624
I mean, he loves organic food
144
00:06:03,658 --> 00:06:06,694
and... and animals and being outside.
145
00:06:06,727 --> 00:06:09,330
You eat hot dogs from gas stations!
146
00:06:09,363 --> 00:06:12,286
You traded your old
cat for a pair of jeans!
147
00:06:12,337 --> 00:06:13,377
A once-in-a-lifetime fit.
148
00:06:13,389 --> 00:06:15,036
You're pulling a classic Stephie right now.
149
00:06:15,069 --> 00:06:16,704
- Classic Stephie?
- Yes, yes.
150
00:06:16,737 --> 00:06:18,673
You meet a guy, you take
on all of his interests
151
00:06:18,706 --> 00:06:20,141
in order to seem more compatible.
152
00:06:20,174 --> 00:06:21,642
Okay, maybe I've done that in the past,
153
00:06:21,676 --> 00:06:23,878
but it's different with Frank.
154
00:06:23,911 --> 00:06:27,281
I really, really like him, Z.
155
00:06:27,315 --> 00:06:28,416
Okay.
156
00:06:28,449 --> 00:06:30,818
Well, the only way for you to date Frank
157
00:06:30,851 --> 00:06:33,187
is if you recuse yourself from the case.
158
00:06:33,221 --> 00:06:36,524
Yes, but by doing that, it would mean
159
00:06:36,557 --> 00:06:39,327
you'd have to take on all
the extra work yourself.
160
00:06:41,195 --> 00:06:42,964
Mm-hmm.
161
00:06:42,997 --> 00:06:45,833
Z, I think you're the best
friend a girl could ever have.
162
00:06:45,866 --> 00:06:47,535
[Chuckles]
163
00:06:47,568 --> 00:06:49,971
And I am, quite possibly, the worst.
164
00:06:50,004 --> 00:06:51,672
[Telephone ringing]
165
00:06:51,706 --> 00:06:54,141
[Screaming]
166
00:06:54,175 --> 00:06:55,576
- [Grunting]
- Fight, fight, fight!
167
00:06:55,610 --> 00:06:57,011
[Laughs evilly]
168
00:06:57,044 --> 00:06:59,247
[Chuckles]
169
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:02,083
- I told you not to Kato me.
- I knew you still had it in you.
170
00:07:02,116 --> 00:07:05,052
Did you guys see how easy it
was for him to put me down?
171
00:07:05,086 --> 00:07:06,187
Excuse me. Pardon me.
172
00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:08,189
Let's all get back to
our desks immediately.
173
00:07:08,222 --> 00:07:10,024
Thank you. Let's go.
174
00:07:10,057 --> 00:07:12,560
- I'm so sorry, Howard.
- Thank you.
175
00:07:12,593 --> 00:07:13,894
- Sorry, Howard.
- [Clears throat]
176
00:07:13,928 --> 00:07:15,129
Thank you.
177
00:07:15,162 --> 00:07:18,366
- [Shouting foreign gibberish]
- Oh!
178
00:07:18,399 --> 00:07:19,834
No! No! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
179
00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:21,335
I can slap you! I'll slap you!
180
00:07:21,369 --> 00:07:24,739
I said get back to your desks!
181
00:07:24,772 --> 00:07:26,707
Fighting is wrong!
182
00:07:26,741 --> 00:07:30,244
And we're gonna have a meeting
about it tomorrow to discuss it!
183
00:07:30,278 --> 00:07:34,181
At the meeting, there's gonna
be a PowerPoint presentation
184
00:07:34,215 --> 00:07:36,851
and a series of instructional videos
185
00:07:36,884 --> 00:07:39,787
shot by me and my buddy Tucker!
186
00:07:39,820 --> 00:07:43,424
I will see all of you at the meeting!
187
00:07:43,457 --> 00:07:46,127
This meeting should
also cover latent racism.
188
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,296
You went after those
karate noises pretty hard.
189
00:07:48,329 --> 00:07:51,365
I apologize. I was doing
a thing from an old movie.
190
00:07:51,399 --> 00:07:54,201
Your beef is with the year 1964.
191
00:07:54,235 --> 00:07:56,037
Wow.
192
00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:59,975
You just instantaneously
attained respect around here.
193
00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:04,399
You're no longer viewed as
some weird, asexual nothing.
194
00:08:05,012 --> 00:08:06,180
Their words, not mine.
195
00:08:06,213 --> 00:08:08,282
You hear things when you're among them.
196
00:08:08,316 --> 00:08:09,383
Thank you?
197
00:08:09,417 --> 00:08:11,052
Maybe I was wrong to think
198
00:08:11,085 --> 00:08:13,387
that I need to sit out here
and connect with these people.
199
00:08:13,421 --> 00:08:15,890
Fear, as you just displayed,
200
00:08:15,923 --> 00:08:18,492
is a far more effective leadership tool,
201
00:08:18,526 --> 00:08:22,295
specifically one that includes
the subtle threat of violence.
202
00:08:22,296 --> 00:08:24,098
You still got that edge, though, man.
203
00:08:24,131 --> 00:08:25,466
It's nice to see.
204
00:08:25,499 --> 00:08:28,402
I think you may have broken my wrist.
205
00:08:28,436 --> 00:08:31,739
But I'm not mad, and I
will tell Zelda fo' definite
206
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,407
that you kicked my ass.
207
00:08:33,441 --> 00:08:35,409
Stu, I just got off the phone with Zelda.
208
00:08:35,443 --> 00:08:38,112
She likes the sweet, sensitive type.
209
00:08:38,145 --> 00:08:39,780
[Both laugh]
210
00:08:39,814 --> 00:08:42,012
- Sounds like dissonance.
- What?
211
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,517
There's what people say they want in a mate
212
00:08:43,551 --> 00:08:46,354
and what they actually
click on... dissonance.
213
00:08:46,387 --> 00:08:48,856
Women on our site say they
want sweet and sensitive,
214
00:08:48,889 --> 00:08:51,892
but they click on guys
with abs and gelled hair.
215
00:08:51,926 --> 00:08:54,362
Well, is it possible that
maybe Zelda's different?
216
00:08:54,395 --> 00:08:55,663
Hmm. Interesting.
217
00:08:55,696 --> 00:08:58,966
Someone who goes completely
against her biological instincts.
218
00:09:03,337 --> 00:09:04,472
[Sighs]
219
00:09:04,505 --> 00:09:09,110
This whole Stephie-Frank
situation is so uncomfortable.
220
00:09:09,143 --> 00:09:11,712
Have you ever heard a British
person try to say "y'all"?
221
00:09:11,746 --> 00:09:14,548
I hope it works out for
her, but this case is so...
222
00:09:14,582 --> 00:09:15,883
Narrator: All Andrew could think about
223
00:09:15,916 --> 00:09:17,885
was whether Zelda was telling the truth.
224
00:09:17,918 --> 00:09:20,221
Was she saying she wanted a sensitive guy
225
00:09:20,254 --> 00:09:21,689
but really wanted a tough guy?
226
00:09:21,722 --> 00:09:23,791
Would Zelda dump him for a tough guy?
227
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:26,327
And would that tough guy be Channing Tatum?
228
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,996
Hey. I have a fun idea.
229
00:09:29,029 --> 00:09:33,134
How about tonight, we cut dinner short
230
00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:36,137
and just, you know... [smacks lips]
231
00:09:36,170 --> 00:09:38,973
Stay in? [Chuckles]
232
00:09:39,006 --> 00:09:39,974
No.
233
00:09:40,007 --> 00:09:41,575
- Oh. Oh.
- Yeah, it's not you.
234
00:09:41,609 --> 00:09:43,577
I just need some time to myself tonight.
235
00:09:43,611 --> 00:09:46,313
- Is that okay?
- Yeah, no. S-sure. Sure.
236
00:09:46,347 --> 00:09:47,882
I mean, it's just... it's
tonight's the first night
237
00:09:47,915 --> 00:09:49,884
we haven't spent together.
238
00:09:49,917 --> 00:09:52,386
- But it's... I-I don't... it's fine.
- See you tomorrow, though.
239
00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:53,988
Cool, yeah, no, I'll
see... of course, yeah.
240
00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:55,923
Okay.
241
00:09:55,956 --> 00:09:57,892
Bye.
242
00:10:00,161 --> 00:10:03,063
[Elevator bell dings]
243
00:10:03,097 --> 00:10:05,166
[Screaming]
244
00:10:05,199 --> 00:10:07,001
Ohh.
245
00:10:07,034 --> 00:10:08,803
It's like we're boys again.
246
00:10:16,128 --> 00:10:18,344
So, Zelda won't have sex with you...
247
00:10:18,345 --> 00:10:19,647
Howard.
248
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,315
I just read this report you submitted,
249
00:10:21,348 --> 00:10:23,818
and it is completely insufficient.
250
00:10:23,851 --> 00:10:27,851
Well, maybe next time,
you'd better do it yourself.
251
00:10:29,423 --> 00:10:32,460
- Really?!
- Really.
252
00:10:34,061 --> 00:10:35,563
Ow!
253
00:10:35,596 --> 00:10:38,232
Do they look scared? I
thought we said no rings.
254
00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:40,634
So, Zelda didn't want to have sex with you,
255
00:10:40,668 --> 00:10:43,337
and it was the night after
she roofed your penis.
256
00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:44,572
Hmm. I wouldn't worry.
257
00:10:44,605 --> 00:10:46,440
I don't think the two things are connected.
258
00:10:46,474 --> 00:10:47,908
Well, I appreciate your concern there, Stu,
259
00:10:47,942 --> 00:10:50,332
but I think I can handle this on my own.
260
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:53,117
Well, in case you can't, I brought...
261
00:10:53,814 --> 00:10:55,683
This.
262
00:10:55,716 --> 00:10:57,485
I have no interest in
watching "Porky's" right now.
263
00:10:57,518 --> 00:11:00,354
[Chuckles] Don't you joke.
You know what this is.
264
00:11:00,387 --> 00:11:02,256
You show her this, and you won't have to
265
00:11:02,289 --> 00:11:05,860
do anything to prove
what kind of man you are.
266
00:11:09,242 --> 00:11:10,877
I just have to roll the tape.
267
00:11:16,105 --> 00:11:18,158
Is that an actual VCR you brought over?
268
00:11:18,184 --> 00:11:19,252
Andrew: Well, you know,
269
00:11:19,285 --> 00:11:23,285
I figure we'd just, uh, watch a little TV.
270
00:11:23,723 --> 00:11:26,760
Plus, these tapes... worth it.
271
00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:28,595
Hi, guys. Hi. Hi.
272
00:11:28,628 --> 00:11:32,365
Um, Andrew, this is, um... this is...Frank.
273
00:11:32,398 --> 00:11:34,601
- Hey.
- This is, um, Andrew.
274
00:11:34,634 --> 00:11:37,103
- What's up?
- How's it going?
275
00:11:37,137 --> 00:11:38,605
So, he's not just a farmer. [Chuckles]
276
00:11:38,638 --> 00:11:40,340
He actually is quite the handyman,
277
00:11:40,373 --> 00:11:44,310
and he just...Fixed all
our pipes... the leaky ones.
278
00:11:44,344 --> 00:11:46,045
He just fixed them. [Chuckles]
279
00:11:46,079 --> 00:11:47,914
Oh. And he's shirtless, why?
280
00:11:47,947 --> 00:11:50,517
Just, uh, mostly for fun.
281
00:11:52,318 --> 00:11:54,120
Hey, you need a hand with that?
282
00:11:54,154 --> 00:11:56,456
Nah, bro, I got it. It's... I'm all good.
283
00:11:58,291 --> 00:12:01,091
"Enter the dragon: The Andrew
Lofland Story." What's on this?
284
00:12:01,129 --> 00:12:03,930
That was actually gonna
be a-a surprise, but...
285
00:12:03,963 --> 00:12:06,599
Oh...Uh, I... we... I figured
it would be fun if we...
286
00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:08,902
If we watched some of
my old jujitsu videos.
287
00:12:08,935 --> 00:12:11,738
Oh, I didn't know you were an athlete.
288
00:12:11,771 --> 00:12:13,206
Yeah, well, "athlete."
289
00:12:13,239 --> 00:12:15,708
I mean, you know, my... my
sensei skipped me a belt, so...
290
00:12:15,742 --> 00:12:17,944
I went straight from... from blue to brown.
291
00:12:17,977 --> 00:12:19,345
And it's just that would
have taken normally,
292
00:12:19,379 --> 00:12:21,648
like, a year or two.
293
00:12:21,681 --> 00:12:24,317
Well, you know, um, Frank's
quite the athlete, as well.
294
00:12:24,350 --> 00:12:25,585
- [Laughter]
- Oh, no, no.
295
00:12:25,618 --> 00:12:27,120
It's not a big deal. I just
played a little football.
296
00:12:27,153 --> 00:12:29,989
Oh, for real? Where did you play, bro?
297
00:12:30,023 --> 00:12:31,524
Uh, Florida state.
298
00:12:31,558 --> 00:12:33,193
Sweet.
299
00:12:33,226 --> 00:12:35,829
That's huge! That's such a huge deal!
300
00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:38,698
Yeah. That's, uh...
that's really, really big.
301
00:12:38,731 --> 00:12:40,867
Can we see some of this
footage of you all...
302
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,168
- Young and sweaty?
- Yeah.
303
00:12:42,202 --> 00:12:44,170
Oh, sure, yeah. It's all over the Internet.
304
00:12:44,204 --> 00:12:47,507
Just Google "Frank Clark,
rose bowl, backflip."
305
00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:49,375
Ooh. Wow. Huh. Yeah.
306
00:12:49,409 --> 00:12:51,444
Um, listen, we're going to the
farmer's market in Hollywood tonight.
307
00:12:51,477 --> 00:12:52,946
Why don't you two come?
308
00:12:52,979 --> 00:12:54,347
I mean, when are you actually gonna go
309
00:12:54,380 --> 00:12:56,549
to a farmer's market with an actual farmer?
310
00:12:56,583 --> 00:12:58,718
- [Chuckles]
- Oh, I've... I... maybe never.
311
00:12:58,751 --> 00:12:59,719
Right?
312
00:12:59,752 --> 00:13:01,454
Um, Andrew, what do you think?
313
00:13:01,487 --> 00:13:03,456
Do you... got it! Fixed
it! Fixed the, um...
314
00:13:03,489 --> 00:13:04,858
Oh. Here we go.
315
00:13:04,891 --> 00:13:06,459
Great.
316
00:13:06,492 --> 00:13:09,195
[AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" plays]
317
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:13,066
Woman: All right, you can do this.
318
00:13:13,099 --> 00:13:14,334
Oh, my God. You were so small.
319
00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:16,336
Well, I hadn't hit my
growth spurt yet, but this...
320
00:13:16,369 --> 00:13:18,238
Oh, okay, look.
321
00:13:18,271 --> 00:13:22,146
Now, this here... here is where
I use a leglock to win the match.
322
00:13:23,910 --> 00:13:27,480
- ♪ Ice-cream kisses in the sun ♪
- No! No!
323
00:13:27,513 --> 00:13:29,148
Oh, my goodness!
324
00:13:29,182 --> 00:13:32,318
- ♪ Move my heart till summer's gone ♪
- [Laughter]
325
00:13:32,352 --> 00:13:34,587
♪ Ice-cream kisses in the sun ♪
326
00:13:34,621 --> 00:13:35,955
That's not me.
327
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:38,491
Look at you. He is the
tiniest boy I've ever seen.
328
00:13:38,524 --> 00:13:39,993
♪ Move my heart till summer's gone ♪
329
00:13:40,026 --> 00:13:42,161
- That's enough.
- ♪ ice-cream kisses in the sun ♪
330
00:13:42,195 --> 00:13:44,464
What... uh, how far is the farmer's market?
331
00:13:47,433 --> 00:13:48,902
Man, this place is the worst.
332
00:13:48,935 --> 00:13:51,237
It's dirty and expensive and weird.
333
00:13:51,271 --> 00:13:54,107
- It's Holly-weird.
- [Laughs loudly]
334
00:13:54,140 --> 00:13:57,410
That's so funny. He's so funny.
335
00:13:57,443 --> 00:14:00,246
Hey, this... this may be
crazy, but do you want to leave
336
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,181
and spend the weekend with me on my farm?
337
00:14:02,215 --> 00:14:03,182
[Laughing] Oh, my God.
338
00:14:03,216 --> 00:14:04,684
It's like you just read my mind.
339
00:14:04,717 --> 00:14:06,052
Okay, what am I thinking now?
340
00:14:06,085 --> 00:14:08,388
Doing it on some hay.
341
00:14:08,421 --> 00:14:11,057
Oh, my God, you have a gift.
You actually have a gift.
342
00:14:11,090 --> 00:14:13,393
That's exactly what I was thinking.
343
00:14:13,426 --> 00:14:15,762
Dang! Got to love that girl.
344
00:14:15,795 --> 00:14:17,630
Yeah. She commits.
345
00:14:17,664 --> 00:14:18,965
I don't know about that Frank guy, though.
346
00:14:18,998 --> 00:14:20,633
He's kind of a show-off.
347
00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:22,468
Well, you know. Ohh! God!
348
00:14:22,502 --> 00:14:23,469
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.
349
00:14:23,503 --> 00:14:25,305
Abe, watch where you're going.
350
00:14:25,338 --> 00:14:27,907
Honestly? You should keep walking.
351
00:14:27,941 --> 00:14:31,077
Okay, I-I'm pretty sure it's...
it's a free country.
352
00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:32,378
Uh, thanks to me.
353
00:14:33,746 --> 00:14:36,215
Narrator: Andrew had hit a breaking point.
354
00:14:36,249 --> 00:14:38,718
Presented with an opportunity
to test his manhood
355
00:14:38,751 --> 00:14:40,887
against his third-favorite president,
356
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,388
Andrew took it.
357
00:14:42,422 --> 00:14:43,556
- Zelda, I got this.
- Come on. Let's go.
358
00:14:43,589 --> 00:14:44,624
Got what?
359
00:14:44,657 --> 00:14:45,925
You trying to Wilkes booth me, bitch?
360
00:14:45,959 --> 00:14:49,062
Okay, that's it. Bring it, sucka.
361
00:14:49,095 --> 00:14:50,730
[Distorted voice] Aah!
362
00:14:50,763 --> 00:14:53,299
- [Ding!]
- Narrator: The Spider Monkey.
363
00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:55,268
[Screaming]
364
00:14:55,301 --> 00:14:56,936
[Grunts]
365
00:14:56,970 --> 00:14:59,138
What the hell?! Get off me!
366
00:14:59,172 --> 00:15:01,207
Oh, my God, you're a girl.
367
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,643
But your... your costume
and your... your voice.
368
00:15:03,676 --> 00:15:06,145
You're crazy, dude. And I should know.
369
00:15:06,179 --> 00:15:07,814
I spin a sign for a living.
370
00:15:08,781 --> 00:15:10,350
Zelda.
371
00:15:17,156 --> 00:15:18,357
I'm sorry I flipped out!
372
00:15:18,358 --> 00:15:20,393
You assaulted lady Lincoln!
373
00:15:20,426 --> 00:15:22,895
Yeah, okay, but I also
apologized to lady Lincoln,
374
00:15:22,929 --> 00:15:25,098
and I even agreed to see her improv troupe.
375
00:15:25,131 --> 00:15:27,900
Andrew! You terrified me tonight.
376
00:15:27,934 --> 00:15:28,901
[Sighs]
377
00:15:28,935 --> 00:15:30,503
You know what? I think...
378
00:15:30,536 --> 00:15:33,072
I-I-I think you should just...Go.
379
00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:34,073
Okay.
380
00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:38,111
But just, you know, for the
record, the reason I attacked him...
381
00:15:38,144 --> 00:15:41,381
- Her. It was a woman.
- Her... is... is because...
382
00:15:42,915 --> 00:15:44,684
It's important to me that you know
383
00:15:44,717 --> 00:15:47,553
that I'm not just the sweet
and... and sensitive type, okay?
384
00:15:47,587 --> 00:15:49,889
I-I have a-a darkness in me.
385
00:15:49,922 --> 00:15:51,557
What does that even mean?
386
00:15:51,591 --> 00:15:54,027
It means that I'm the guy who
stands up for his girlfriend, okay?
387
00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:57,030
I'm the guy who would
never start a bar fight,
388
00:15:57,063 --> 00:15:59,532
but if one just happened
to... to break out,
389
00:15:59,565 --> 00:16:02,535
I'm the one wielding a pool cue or a stool,
390
00:16:02,568 --> 00:16:04,103
if the bar doesn't have billiards.
391
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,439
I would never date that type of guy, ever.
392
00:16:06,472 --> 00:16:08,741
You say that, but the
first time you didn't want
393
00:16:08,775 --> 00:16:10,877
to spend the night with
me was directly after
394
00:16:10,910 --> 00:16:13,446
you stood up to that guy
instead of me. Oh, my God.
395
00:16:13,479 --> 00:16:16,649
No, that is not why, which
is something you would know
396
00:16:16,682 --> 00:16:18,918
if you'd actually been listening to me.
397
00:16:18,951 --> 00:16:20,420
[Ding!]
398
00:16:20,453 --> 00:16:22,088
Narrator: And if he had been listening,
399
00:16:22,121 --> 00:16:23,923
this is what he would have heard.
400
00:16:23,956 --> 00:16:28,227
This whole Stephie-Frank
situation is so uncomfortable.
401
00:16:28,261 --> 00:16:30,830
Have you ever heard a British
person try to say "y'all"?
402
00:16:30,863 --> 00:16:34,734
I hope it works out for her,
but this case is so complicated.
403
00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:37,236
[Laughing] This bio-tech
company has 11 lawyers!
404
00:16:37,270 --> 00:16:39,772
11 against one.
405
00:16:39,806 --> 00:16:41,941
It's only been one day,
and I'm already exhausted.
406
00:16:41,974 --> 00:16:44,577
I have five hours of work
ahead of me tonight alone.
407
00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:47,513
Hey. I have a fun idea.
408
00:16:47,547 --> 00:16:51,017
How about tonight, we cut dinner short
409
00:16:51,050 --> 00:16:54,420
and just, you know... [smacks lips]
410
00:16:54,454 --> 00:16:57,206
- Oh.
- You know what I find attractive?
411
00:16:58,057 --> 00:16:59,859
Someone who listens to me.
412
00:16:59,892 --> 00:17:01,527
Like, if I'm having a crazy day at work,
413
00:17:01,561 --> 00:17:04,530
someone who maybe is
willing to take the burden
414
00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:06,532
off of me by making little decisions
415
00:17:06,566 --> 00:17:07,633
so that I don't have to.
416
00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:10,736
- What, like picking a restaurant?
- Exactly.
417
00:17:17,577 --> 00:17:19,045
Meeting in 10.
418
00:17:19,078 --> 00:17:20,613
- Woman: Yes. Absolutely.
- Man: Yes, sir.
419
00:17:20,646 --> 00:17:22,115
- Man 2: Uh, heading there right now.
- Woman 2: Right away, sir.
420
00:17:22,148 --> 00:17:23,483
Yes. Thanks. Copy that.
421
00:17:25,651 --> 00:17:28,354
Amazing.
422
00:17:28,387 --> 00:17:30,690
Instead of me being looked at with respect
423
00:17:30,723 --> 00:17:32,725
borne out of fear for slapping you,
424
00:17:32,758 --> 00:17:35,561
it is you, the slapped,
who's reaping the benefits.
425
00:17:35,595 --> 00:17:37,897
What benefits? I lost two crowns.
426
00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:39,332
I had it all wrong.
427
00:17:39,365 --> 00:17:40,766
Being a great leader
428
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,003
isn't about connection
or having them fear you.
429
00:17:44,036 --> 00:17:45,872
Sympathy.
430
00:17:45,905 --> 00:17:48,875
That's the key ingredient I must attain.
431
00:17:48,908 --> 00:17:50,143
How?
432
00:17:50,176 --> 00:17:52,979
I have an ace that I've
been keeping up my sleeve
433
00:17:53,012 --> 00:17:54,147
for quite a while.
434
00:17:55,250 --> 00:17:58,180
I think it's time to pull it out.
435
00:17:59,352 --> 00:18:02,021
Hey. What you doing?
436
00:18:02,054 --> 00:18:03,523
Work, right?
437
00:18:03,556 --> 00:18:05,858
I know. It's like, "Monday. Ugh!
438
00:18:05,892 --> 00:18:07,527
Can't wait for hump day."
439
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,529
[Chuckles] It's Wednesday.
440
00:18:09,562 --> 00:18:11,097
'Cause then it's like you're over the hump.
441
00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:14,600
Um...Other things.
442
00:18:14,634 --> 00:18:15,935
Hey!
443
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:18,571
Um, did I ever show you guys this?
444
00:18:18,604 --> 00:18:20,573
[People gasping]
445
00:18:21,574 --> 00:18:23,542
Fell off a slide in middle school,
446
00:18:23,543 --> 00:18:25,893
and the doctors set it wrong.
447
00:18:26,546 --> 00:18:30,449
What's their reaction, Howard?
Do they look sympathetic?
448
00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:32,718
[Retching]
449
00:18:32,752 --> 00:18:34,053
[Gags]
450
00:18:34,086 --> 00:18:38,086
Yes, they... they definitely do.
451
00:18:38,658 --> 00:18:40,293
[Sighs]
452
00:18:40,326 --> 00:18:42,295
Hey. Hi.
453
00:18:42,328 --> 00:18:44,430
I'm just finishing up Frank's case.
454
00:18:44,463 --> 00:18:45,765
Huh. This was a lot of work.
455
00:18:45,798 --> 00:18:47,433
[Chuckles] But it was worth it.
456
00:18:47,466 --> 00:18:49,802
- In the name of love.
- Yeah, no, I'm over that.
457
00:18:49,835 --> 00:18:51,137
[Sighs] What happened?
458
00:18:51,170 --> 00:18:54,006
So, I'm there, breathing
in the country air,
459
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,310
sipping fresh cow's milk,
playing with the little herd dog,
460
00:18:57,343 --> 00:18:59,979
and I'm like, "yeah,
yeah, this is everything
461
00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:02,315
"I could have ever wanted...
462
00:19:02,348 --> 00:19:03,482
For the last three days."
463
00:19:03,516 --> 00:19:05,651
- I mean, it's just not me, is it?
- No.
464
00:19:05,685 --> 00:19:08,821
I mean, gone are the days where
Stephie gives up herself for a man.
465
00:19:08,854 --> 00:19:12,391
But I'm sorry about leaving
you with all this work.
466
00:19:12,425 --> 00:19:14,060
Oh, there's no need to apologize.
467
00:19:14,093 --> 00:19:16,062
Actually, the bio-tech company
called over the weekend,
468
00:19:16,095 --> 00:19:17,330
and they agreed to settle.
469
00:19:17,363 --> 00:19:19,599
Hmm! You were right.
This case was a winner.
470
00:19:19,632 --> 00:19:21,300
How much did they settle for?
471
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,336
Whoo!
472
00:19:23,369 --> 00:19:24,971
[Ding!]
473
00:19:25,004 --> 00:19:26,472
Uh, let's just say it was a lot.
474
00:19:26,505 --> 00:19:28,874
Huh. No.
475
00:19:28,908 --> 00:19:31,477
No, no, no, Stephie, don't do this.
476
00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:33,079
No, I am gonna stand by my decision.
477
00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:36,148
- He is not what I'm looking for.
- What are you looking for?
478
00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:39,952
Something like what you and
Andrew have would be nice.
479
00:19:39,986 --> 00:19:42,321
Someone sweet like that.
480
00:19:49,028 --> 00:19:52,164
With you working so hard
lately, I figured I'd come over
481
00:19:52,198 --> 00:19:54,200
and take some of the burden off your day.
482
00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:56,636
Oh, yeah? What do you got for me?
483
00:19:56,669 --> 00:19:59,005
I picked a restaurant...
484
00:19:59,038 --> 00:20:01,874
Take-out from Gingergrass.
485
00:20:01,907 --> 00:20:04,143
- That's my favorite.
- There's more.
486
00:20:04,176 --> 00:20:05,344
Talk to me.
487
00:20:05,378 --> 00:20:07,680
I figured if you had
time, maybe afterwards,
488
00:20:07,713 --> 00:20:11,617
I could take you out
and buy you some fro-yo.
489
00:20:11,651 --> 00:20:12,818
Ooh.
490
00:20:12,852 --> 00:20:16,622
Maybe I'll order a euro
tart...Topped with mango
491
00:20:16,656 --> 00:20:19,125
and those round things
I don't know the name of.
492
00:20:19,158 --> 00:20:20,960
They're called mochi.
493
00:20:20,993 --> 00:20:23,129
And then maybe after that, I could...
494
00:20:23,162 --> 00:20:26,632
I could bring you back here,
and I could do some chores.
495
00:20:26,666 --> 00:20:28,467
What kind of chores?
496
00:20:28,501 --> 00:20:30,469
I...
497
00:20:31,316 --> 00:20:34,503
Was not prepared for you
to ask me that question.
498
00:20:36,275 --> 00:20:38,678
[Cork pops]
499
00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:54,193
Andrew! Andrew, come in here!
500
00:20:54,226 --> 00:20:56,362
Oh, gosh, there's...
there's a really big spider.
501
00:20:56,395 --> 00:20:57,763
- Ugh! It's right there.
- Okay, okay, okay.
502
00:20:57,797 --> 00:20:59,165
It's a big spider. I need you to kill it.
503
00:20:59,198 --> 00:21:01,334
- I got this.
- Okay, kill it!
504
00:21:01,367 --> 00:21:05,037
Oh, Andrew! Kill it! Kill it!
505
00:21:05,071 --> 00:21:06,906
There. Okay.
506
00:21:06,939 --> 00:21:09,241
No one needs to die today.
507
00:21:09,275 --> 00:21:12,545
There you go, little buddy.
508
00:21:12,578 --> 00:21:13,913
Be free.
509
00:21:18,984 --> 00:21:20,786
Live and let live.
510
00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:21,787
[Screams]
511
00:21:21,821 --> 00:21:23,622
[All screaming]
512
00:21:23,656 --> 00:21:25,558
- Yeah!
- Stu!
513
00:21:25,591 --> 00:21:28,662
- How long have you been here?
- For the entire day.
514
00:21:28,714 --> 00:21:32,127
Sync & corrections by madhatters
www.addic7ed.com