1
00:00:06,906 --> 00:00:08,391
You wanted to see me, miss Wayland?
2
00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:10,472
Yes. Sorry, Mr. kurtz
couldn't be here.
3
00:00:10,506 --> 00:00:12,507
He's out
"researching" a case,
4
00:00:12,542 --> 00:00:15,734
which is code
for lasering his back hair.
5
00:00:15,797 --> 00:00:18,365
The man is a shag carpet,
and I hope he dies soon.
6
00:00:18,399 --> 00:00:22,402
Zelda, it's been a week.
Do you have an answer for me?
7
00:00:22,437 --> 00:00:24,771
Um... Yes.
8
00:00:24,806 --> 00:00:27,074
Well... Kinda.
9
00:00:27,108 --> 00:00:29,276
Kinda?
10
00:00:29,310 --> 00:00:30,711
It's complicated.
11
00:00:30,745 --> 00:00:33,380
You know, I've always dreamed of
being a partner here obviously,
12
00:00:33,414 --> 00:00:36,216
but the timing is, um...
13
00:00:36,251 --> 00:00:37,484
Difficult.
14
00:00:37,518 --> 00:00:39,186
Difficult how?
15
00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:40,554
Um...
16
00:00:40,588 --> 00:00:41,822
[To tune of "dem bones"]
♪ first we're gonna take ♪
17
00:00:41,856 --> 00:00:43,323
♪ A deposition ♪
18
00:00:43,358 --> 00:00:45,892
♪ Then we go to court
to file a motion ♪
19
00:00:45,927 --> 00:00:48,528
♪ Then we ask the judge
for an extension ♪
20
00:00:48,563 --> 00:00:51,465
♪ But first we have
some pretzels ♪
21
00:00:51,499 --> 00:00:53,734
Mmm.
[Cell phone vibrating]
22
00:00:53,768 --> 00:00:56,069
[Gasps]
23
00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,581
[Mouth full] Hello.
Hey.
24
00:00:58,615 --> 00:01:00,582
You... Got something
in your mouth?
25
00:01:00,617 --> 00:01:01,850
Congratulatory pretzels
26
00:01:01,885 --> 00:01:03,352
for being so excellent
at being a lawyer,
27
00:01:03,386 --> 00:01:05,854
which is my job.
Well, congratulations.
28
00:01:05,889 --> 00:01:07,089
I'll do all the talking.
29
00:01:07,123 --> 00:01:08,590
Uh, my ex Madeline is in town
30
00:01:08,625 --> 00:01:09,892
and she wants to crash
at my house for a few days.
31
00:01:09,926 --> 00:01:11,860
Is that cool?
32
00:01:12,570 --> 00:01:14,104
Depends. Is she attractive?
33
00:01:14,138 --> 00:01:16,373
I think I'm confident enough
in our relationship
34
00:01:16,407 --> 00:01:17,607
that I can say "yes."
35
00:01:17,641 --> 00:01:19,075
When did you date?
36
00:01:19,110 --> 00:01:20,310
Oh, years ago.
37
00:01:20,344 --> 00:01:22,145
Current relationship status?
Engaged.
38
00:01:22,179 --> 00:01:24,514
Oh, yeah. [Chuckles]
We cool.
39
00:01:24,548 --> 00:01:26,016
[Laughs]
Awesome.
40
00:01:26,050 --> 00:01:27,317
Uh, she gets in
around 7:00 tonight
41
00:01:27,351 --> 00:01:28,651
and she really wants
to meet you.
42
00:01:28,686 --> 00:01:31,621
So... Come by my place around then?
That's great!
43
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,290
I've never met
one of your exes before.
44
00:01:34,325 --> 00:01:35,892
I can't wait to see
how she measures up.
45
00:01:35,926 --> 00:01:37,260
[Knock on door]
46
00:01:38,851 --> 00:01:41,519
Oh, my God... Ness gracious!
Hello!
47
00:01:41,554 --> 00:01:43,488
You must be Zelda.
Yes.
48
00:01:43,522 --> 00:01:44,756
I'm...
Hot and sweaty.
49
00:01:44,790 --> 00:01:46,424
Madeline. You're Madeline.
[Laughs] Hello!
50
00:01:46,459 --> 00:01:49,427
Sorry. I just got off the plane
and did a quick 10-miler.
51
00:01:49,462 --> 00:01:50,695
Ha! What a coincidence.
52
00:01:50,730 --> 00:01:52,030
I just ate onion rings
at a red light.
53
00:01:52,064 --> 00:01:53,565
Oh! [Laughs]
[Forced laugh]
54
00:01:53,599 --> 00:01:55,700
Andrew, you didn't tell me
she was hilarious!
55
00:01:55,735 --> 00:01:56,968
You're hilarious.
[Laughs]
56
00:01:57,003 --> 00:01:58,603
Come inside.
He didn't tell me, uh,
57
00:01:58,637 --> 00:02:01,973
that you were so fit.
58
00:02:02,007 --> 00:02:04,342
Oh. Oh, well, I'm...
I'm a personal trainer.
59
00:02:04,377 --> 00:02:05,643
Ah.
On the weekends.
60
00:02:05,678 --> 00:02:07,178
It's a nice respite
from my 9 to 5
61
00:02:07,213 --> 00:02:09,681
heading up the gates foundation
malaria study.
62
00:02:09,715 --> 00:02:11,916
What?
Looks like you two are getting acquainted.
63
00:02:11,951 --> 00:02:13,418
Yes. Thank you.
Yes.
64
00:02:13,452 --> 00:02:16,021
So when you do leave? How long
are you staying here for? Sorry.
65
00:02:16,055 --> 00:02:17,288
Oh, I'm just here
for a couple of days.
66
00:02:17,323 --> 00:02:19,724
I wanted to spend
as much time as possible
67
00:02:19,759 --> 00:02:22,627
with my good friend Andrew
after everything that went down.
68
00:02:22,661 --> 00:02:24,062
What went down?
69
00:02:24,991 --> 00:02:26,458
My fiancé Jerry...
70
00:02:26,493 --> 00:02:28,327
On his business partner James.
71
00:02:28,361 --> 00:02:30,963
Madeline just told me that they
called off their engagement.
72
00:02:30,997 --> 00:02:33,165
Okay.
Sad but true.
73
00:02:33,199 --> 00:02:35,134
I'm a single women again
on the prowl.
74
00:02:35,168 --> 00:02:36,635
[Chuckles]
Rawr.
75
00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:38,037
[Laughs]
76
00:02:38,071 --> 00:02:40,673
Rawr rawr.
[Chuckles nervously]
77
00:02:40,707 --> 00:02:42,541
[Muffled voice] Rawr.
78
00:03:02,095 --> 00:03:06,098
I can tell this story
is not going to end well.
79
00:03:07,043 --> 00:03:08,744
What is this?
80
00:03:08,778 --> 00:03:11,180
I don't even know anymore.
81
00:03:11,214 --> 00:03:14,083
Thanks for coming tonight.
I know work things can be weird.
82
00:03:14,117 --> 00:03:15,718
[Chuckles] You know what else is weird?
Huh?
83
00:03:15,752 --> 00:03:17,686
[Laughs] That, uh,
your ex-girlfriend
84
00:03:17,721 --> 00:03:19,088
breaks up with her fiancé
85
00:03:19,122 --> 00:03:20,823
and her, uh, first move
86
00:03:20,857 --> 00:03:22,324
is to crash on
her ex-boyfriend's couch.
87
00:03:22,359 --> 00:03:23,959
That's just a little...
Little weird.
88
00:03:23,994 --> 00:03:26,362
If it bothers you, I can put her
in a hotel somewhere,
89
00:03:26,396 --> 00:03:27,596
like the Roosevelt.
90
00:03:27,631 --> 00:03:28,864
No, I don't want to be
that girl.
91
00:03:28,899 --> 00:03:30,199
Plus, I think
there's an awards show there
92
00:03:30,233 --> 00:03:32,535
or something this weekend.
I believe it's all booked up.
93
00:03:32,569 --> 00:03:35,404
Trust me, Madeline and I are
much better as friends.
94
00:03:35,438 --> 00:03:37,539
We bonded a long time ago
95
00:03:37,574 --> 00:03:39,341
because both of us have mothers
who passed away,
96
00:03:39,376 --> 00:03:42,311
and we've been there
for each other in hard times.
97
00:03:42,345 --> 00:03:43,812
That's all.
98
00:03:44,578 --> 00:03:47,113
Speaking of hard times...
99
00:03:47,147 --> 00:03:49,148
My mom makes a mean vindaloo,
100
00:03:49,182 --> 00:03:51,283
and she says I can
have girls over whenever I want.
101
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:52,551
I listened to
you and Andrew do it
102
00:03:52,586 --> 00:03:53,886
when you guys used to date,
103
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,221
and I think I figured out
what you like.
104
00:03:55,255 --> 00:03:58,157
Okay, I-I should probably
go rescue her. Are we cool?
105
00:03:58,191 --> 00:04:00,393
Yes. I was just being silly.
106
00:04:00,427 --> 00:04:01,861
I completely trust you.
107
00:04:01,895 --> 00:04:04,230
I know I have nothing
to worry about!
108
00:04:05,799 --> 00:04:08,134
You weren't being silly.
You shouldn't trust him.
109
00:04:08,168 --> 00:04:09,835
You've got a lot
to worry about.
110
00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,170
What are you guys
talking about?
111
00:04:11,442 --> 00:04:13,443
We all sensed it
the moment we saw here.
112
00:04:13,478 --> 00:04:15,812
Andrew's ex is
a complete boyfriend stealer.
113
00:04:15,847 --> 00:04:17,014
Lydia:
And it takes one to know one.
114
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,149
Back in the day,
if I had a notch on my bedpost
115
00:04:19,183 --> 00:04:20,651
for every boyfriend I stole,
116
00:04:20,685 --> 00:04:22,686
you would've thought
my roommate was a beaver.
117
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,821
Don't let these weirdos
bury the point.
118
00:04:24,856 --> 00:04:26,323
That woman is trouble.
119
00:04:26,357 --> 00:04:29,793
Andrew and Madeline: [Laugh]
120
00:04:29,827 --> 00:04:31,194
What do I do?
121
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,597
She's supposed to crash on
his couch for another two days.
122
00:04:33,631 --> 00:04:35,132
The only thing
a boyfriend stealer understands
123
00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:36,600
is brute force,
124
00:04:36,634 --> 00:04:38,835
which is why you need to
coldcock that bitch
125
00:04:38,870 --> 00:04:40,370
with a sock full of oranges.
126
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:43,874
Okay, again, don't let these
crazies water down the message.
127
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,742
You need to get her focused
on another man.
128
00:04:45,777 --> 00:04:48,378
This reminds me of that bar that
we went to for oktober fest.
129
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,680
Do you remember?
130
00:04:49,714 --> 00:04:51,582
I slipped and I fell and I got
a splinter in my butt.
131
00:04:51,616 --> 00:04:54,518
Oh, yeah.
I still have the scar.
132
00:04:54,552 --> 00:04:55,852
Yeah, there it is.
133
00:04:55,887 --> 00:04:57,454
Sorry for the tan line.
134
00:04:57,488 --> 00:04:58,622
No.
Yes.
135
00:04:58,656 --> 00:04:59,890
No.
Showed him her butt.
136
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:01,124
Ew.
I know.
137
00:05:01,159 --> 00:05:02,292
Ugh!
Ugh.
138
00:05:03,139 --> 00:05:05,607
Am I taking up too much
of your time with this?
139
00:05:05,641 --> 00:05:07,008
No. This is great, really.
140
00:05:07,042 --> 00:05:09,411
Plus, I get to miss
my stepdaughter's dance recital,
141
00:05:09,445 --> 00:05:11,346
and she is talentless.
142
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:13,548
Okay.
143
00:05:13,582 --> 00:05:17,986
[Indistinct conversations]
144
00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:20,054
This was a great idea,
setting Madeline up.
145
00:05:20,089 --> 00:05:21,423
Her and, um...
Jay.
146
00:05:21,457 --> 00:05:23,258
Jay are really hitting it off.
Yeah.
147
00:05:23,292 --> 00:05:24,626
Well, I'm just looking out
for us ladies,
148
00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:26,194
you know what I'm saying?
I hear that.
149
00:05:26,228 --> 00:05:29,130
He's pretty cute, though.
Isn't he?
150
00:05:29,165 --> 00:05:32,133
Yeah, if you like
flat asses.
151
00:05:32,168 --> 00:05:34,435
What? Guys can't be critical
of each other?
152
00:05:34,470 --> 00:05:35,937
How do you know him anyway?
153
00:05:35,971 --> 00:05:38,840
Um, with a... with the...
[Mutters]
154
00:05:38,874 --> 00:05:41,309
Oh, my gosh.
Hey, Jay was just telling me
155
00:05:41,343 --> 00:05:43,878
that you guys used to date.
156
00:05:43,913 --> 00:05:46,081
Jay: [Laughs]
How funny is that?
157
00:05:46,115 --> 00:05:48,483
S funny.
158
00:05:48,517 --> 00:05:53,888
[Laughing]
159
00:06:02,543 --> 00:06:03,944
[Mouth full] Okay, sorry.
160
00:06:03,978 --> 00:06:06,305
So you set up
your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend
161
00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:08,030
with your ex-boyfriend.
162
00:06:08,065 --> 00:06:09,499
That's pretty...
163
00:06:09,533 --> 00:06:11,501
Clever.
I was gonna say childish.
164
00:06:11,535 --> 00:06:13,069
[Popcorn rattles]
165
00:06:13,103 --> 00:06:15,338
He started it.
166
00:06:15,372 --> 00:06:17,607
Okay, I have to ask.
167
00:06:17,641 --> 00:06:20,143
Is this really about
finding her a date?
168
00:06:20,177 --> 00:06:21,477
I mean, come on, admit it.
169
00:06:21,512 --> 00:06:22,945
You were bothered by the fact
that she was staying with me,
170
00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:24,547
and you're looking
to prove a point.
171
00:06:24,581 --> 00:06:26,582
I'm not. I just wanted to set
Madeline up with a great guy.
172
00:06:26,617 --> 00:06:29,719
It just so happens that
a lot of my exes are great.
173
00:06:29,753 --> 00:06:31,954
Didn't you date a guy that was
on "to catch a predator"?
174
00:06:31,989 --> 00:06:33,723
No. I just said that I thought
one of the predators was cute
175
00:06:33,757 --> 00:06:35,057
before I knew
what I was watching.
176
00:06:35,092 --> 00:06:38,127
Anyway, Madeline will be
very lucky to date Jay.
177
00:06:38,161 --> 00:06:39,462
He's a catch.
178
00:06:39,496 --> 00:06:42,398
So is she.
She's smart and funny.
179
00:06:42,432 --> 00:06:44,500
Okay, he's athletic and he
reads, like, 100 books a day.
180
00:06:44,535 --> 00:06:45,868
She tried to give her kidney
to a stranger,
181
00:06:45,903 --> 00:06:47,203
but it wasn't a match.
182
00:06:47,237 --> 00:06:48,871
Plus, the malaria thing
is nothing to sneeze at.
183
00:06:48,906 --> 00:06:52,074
Zelda, thank you so much
for setting me up with Jay...
184
00:06:52,109 --> 00:06:54,210
Yeah.
But I just...
185
00:06:54,244 --> 00:06:55,978
I don't think I'm ready
to start dating yet.
186
00:06:56,013 --> 00:06:59,048
And plus,
he's not really my type.
187
00:06:59,082 --> 00:07:00,283
[Chuckles]
188
00:07:03,805 --> 00:07:05,872
Yeah, you're out of his league,
anyway.
189
00:07:05,907 --> 00:07:07,274
[Stomps heel]
Mm.
190
00:07:07,308 --> 00:07:09,009
And he's a... he's a catch,
though. He's a... he's a catch.
191
00:07:09,043 --> 00:07:12,346
Yes. They're both catches.
192
00:07:15,923 --> 00:07:17,390
Hey.
Hey.
193
00:07:17,424 --> 00:07:20,727
What would you think if
I picked up my pen like this?
194
00:07:23,897 --> 00:07:26,299
[Chuckles] That you were
coming on to me?
195
00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:27,900
Are you coming on to me?
No.
196
00:07:27,935 --> 00:07:30,036
Come. Look at this.
197
00:07:31,705 --> 00:07:34,407
That's the third time.
198
00:07:34,441 --> 00:07:35,775
[Gasps]
Yeah.
199
00:07:37,311 --> 00:07:39,712
I invite down to my office and
you make a mess of the place?
200
00:07:39,747 --> 00:07:41,914
[Chuckles] Well if number
of pens is any indication,
201
00:07:41,949 --> 00:07:44,117
you're doing very well for yourself.
[Telephone rings]
202
00:07:44,151 --> 00:07:45,651
[Chuckles]
Madeline is here
203
00:07:45,686 --> 00:07:48,154
for one reason, okay?
204
00:07:48,188 --> 00:07:49,922
And that is to get you back.
205
00:07:50,716 --> 00:07:51,916
Can you give me a minute?
206
00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:53,251
Sure.
Thank you.
207
00:07:53,285 --> 00:07:54,519
Good morning.
208
00:07:54,553 --> 00:07:56,087
That is why she wasn't
interested in Jay.
209
00:07:56,121 --> 00:07:58,356
Andrew, how many pens
does a girl have to drop
210
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,758
before you take the hint?
211
00:08:00,792 --> 00:08:03,394
If you don't mind, I'm gonna
take a run at this one.
212
00:08:03,428 --> 00:08:05,296
Do you think
you even stand a chance?
213
00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:08,800
She wants a cool and creative,
not some number pushing nerd.
214
00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:10,034
"L.A. weekly" named me
215
00:08:10,068 --> 00:08:12,370
one of their
top young d.J.S of the year.
216
00:08:12,886 --> 00:08:15,655
Wait a second.
You're dj doctor Dinesh?
217
00:08:15,689 --> 00:08:18,524
[Imitates record scratching]
Oh!
218
00:08:18,559 --> 00:08:19,792
Showing up
at a guy's workplace
219
00:08:19,826 --> 00:08:22,228
is a classic boyfriend stealer move.
Mm.
220
00:08:22,262 --> 00:08:24,830
I once spent six hours
in Morgan Stanley.
221
00:08:24,865 --> 00:08:27,767
Stole two boyfriends
and started an I.R.A.
222
00:08:27,801 --> 00:08:29,235
Good day.
223
00:08:29,269 --> 00:08:32,805
Listen, I fell in love
with your sweet, optimistic,
224
00:08:32,839 --> 00:08:35,207
very, very positive view
of the world.
225
00:08:35,242 --> 00:08:39,145
But I think in this case, you
are just being a little naive.
226
00:08:39,179 --> 00:08:40,947
I'm not being naive.
227
00:08:40,981 --> 00:08:42,748
[Whispers] She's not into me.
I'm telling you.
228
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,917
[Lowered voice]
Are you having a bad call?
229
00:08:44,952 --> 00:08:47,520
I repeat... naive.
230
00:08:47,554 --> 00:08:48,988
Yes, yes.
Thank you so much, sir.
231
00:08:49,022 --> 00:08:52,325
I will relay that to the...
The client.
232
00:08:55,197 --> 00:08:58,199
I'm so sorry things didn't
work out with Madeline.
233
00:08:58,234 --> 00:09:00,101
I think she's... she's having
trouble moving past
234
00:09:00,136 --> 00:09:02,504
an old relationship.
Yeah. It happens.
235
00:09:02,538 --> 00:09:06,308
I think I know why
you really came to visit.
236
00:09:06,342 --> 00:09:08,476
Oh, you do?
Zelda: I guess that's common, though,
237
00:09:08,511 --> 00:09:10,512
exes still having feelings
for each other.
238
00:09:10,546 --> 00:09:13,315
Maybe you have
some unresolved feelings for me,
239
00:09:13,349 --> 00:09:15,483
and that's why you decided
to come back here.
240
00:09:15,518 --> 00:09:18,853
But it... it can't happen
because I'm in a relationship.
241
00:09:18,888 --> 00:09:20,555
Andrew, just to be clear,
242
00:09:20,590 --> 00:09:22,824
I came here because I'm going
through a tough time
243
00:09:22,858 --> 00:09:25,794
and wanted the unconditional
support of a good friend.
244
00:09:25,828 --> 00:09:27,996
I'm sorry for thinking
that was you.
245
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,933
I totally hear
what you're saying.
246
00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:34,169
Sometimes it's like you had
something special with somebody,
247
00:09:34,203 --> 00:09:36,471
and it's... it's hard to make
those feelings go away.
248
00:09:36,505 --> 00:09:38,139
That's exactly what
I'm saying.
249
00:09:38,174 --> 00:09:40,442
[Chuckles]
250
00:09:45,908 --> 00:09:48,310
Hey, so she didn't
want me back. At all.
251
00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:50,111
Oh, she... she didn't?
Nope!
252
00:09:50,146 --> 00:09:52,714
You seem upset.
Oh, I do?
253
00:09:52,748 --> 00:09:56,217
Well, um, imagine if
I forced you to go up to Jay
254
00:09:56,252 --> 00:09:58,453
and say, "I know
you still want me."
255
00:09:58,487 --> 00:10:00,955
Right. Yes.
If I said that to Jay...
256
00:10:00,990 --> 00:10:03,258
He would be mad.
257
00:10:03,292 --> 00:10:04,893
Except not in this case
258
00:10:04,927 --> 00:10:06,328
because he frenched me.
259
00:10:06,362 --> 00:10:07,595
He what?
260
00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:09,030
He stuck his tongue
inside my mouth,
261
00:10:09,065 --> 00:10:10,965
and then I tried to push it out
with my tongue,
262
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,333
but that was the wrong move
263
00:10:12,368 --> 00:10:13,735
because that just seemed
like more frenching.
264
00:10:13,769 --> 00:10:15,970
Stop saying "frenching."
265
00:10:16,005 --> 00:10:18,006
You kissed your ex-boyfriend?
266
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,241
But I immediately
pushed him away.
267
00:10:20,276 --> 00:10:22,711
Okay? And I-I didn't know
that he felt that way.
268
00:10:22,745 --> 00:10:24,045
I'm... I'm so sorry.
269
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,581
So first, you ruin my friendship
with Madeline,
270
00:10:26,615 --> 00:10:29,050
and then you go
and make out with Jay?
271
00:10:29,084 --> 00:10:30,351
I'm gonna fix this.
272
00:10:30,386 --> 00:10:32,153
I gotta go. Okay?
273
00:10:32,188 --> 00:10:33,488
[Line disconnects]
274
00:10:35,224 --> 00:10:36,591
[Sighs]
275
00:10:39,128 --> 00:10:41,463
Stephie.
276
00:10:41,497 --> 00:10:43,031
[Chuckles]
277
00:10:43,065 --> 00:10:45,366
It works.
278
00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:57,153
[E.D.M. Playing]
Dinesh, man!
279
00:10:59,246 --> 00:11:02,715
Hey, Andrew, did you realize
that Dinesh is actually...
280
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,183
Zelda's ex-boyfriend
kissed her.
281
00:11:04,217 --> 00:11:06,452
It's beatdown time.
Let's ride.
282
00:11:06,486 --> 00:11:08,721
All right, nerds!
Let's go! Let's go!
283
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,322
Puttin' together a posse
284
00:11:10,357 --> 00:11:11,891
to rough up a dude
that put the moves on Zelda.
285
00:11:11,925 --> 00:11:13,726
[Sighs]
Which one of you are in?
286
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:14,994
I am.
287
00:11:15,028 --> 00:11:18,497
I will straight up destroy
that guy... 'S credit.
288
00:11:18,532 --> 00:11:19,965
[Laughs]
Just point him out,
289
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,467
and I will rain down taunts
on him...
290
00:11:21,501 --> 00:11:22,801
From a safe distance.
291
00:11:22,836 --> 00:11:24,003
Let's ride.
Or not.
292
00:11:24,037 --> 00:11:25,271
Dinesh and sage: Whoo! Yeah!
293
00:11:25,305 --> 00:11:27,706
Circle the copters!
We should take two cars, though,
294
00:11:27,741 --> 00:11:28,974
because I don't think
we can all fit in my yaris.
295
00:11:29,009 --> 00:11:30,476
Yeah, seriously,
somebody else should drive.
296
00:11:30,510 --> 00:11:32,444
I've been drinking all day.
297
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,530
Hey, Madeline.
Uh, do you have a minute?
298
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,232
Yeah. I was just getting in
last-minute workout
299
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,466
before my flight.
300
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,834
I decided to leave a day early.
301
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,102
[Door closes]
302
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,537
Uh, so...
303
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:52,878
Um, I know that you had a weird
conversation with Andrew,
304
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:55,547
and I just wanted to...
I'm so sorry. Can you come up?
305
00:11:58,017 --> 00:11:59,351
Yeah, I don't really
wanna be around
306
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,653
if Andrew thinks I'm just here
to try to get him back.
307
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:04,456
Yeah, when he said that, um,
some of it...
308
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,258
Okay, all of it came from me.
309
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,694
I thought that you were here
to steal him.
310
00:12:11,301 --> 00:12:13,835
Yeah, you pretty much
nailed it. [Laughs]
311
00:12:14,871 --> 00:12:17,239
Ahh. [Exhales]
Excuse me?
312
00:12:17,273 --> 00:12:19,107
After my engagement ended,
I was really lonely,
313
00:12:19,142 --> 00:12:21,576
and I thought I could just
come back here and get Andrew.
314
00:12:21,611 --> 00:12:23,045
It's so funny
that you sensed that.
315
00:12:23,079 --> 00:12:25,614
Yes. Isn't it? Ha ha.
316
00:12:25,648 --> 00:12:27,983
Andrew: Guys, this is
a terrible idea.
317
00:12:28,017 --> 00:12:30,052
Andrew, if a dude
hits on your girl,
318
00:12:30,086 --> 00:12:32,020
he hits on all of our girls.
319
00:12:32,556 --> 00:12:33,923
None of you have girls.
320
00:12:33,957 --> 00:12:35,658
That's a choice.
We don't want to be tied down.
321
00:12:35,692 --> 00:12:37,293
Right now, my beats
are my girlfriend.
322
00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:39,862
I bump into people on the street
just to feel physical contact.
323
00:12:39,896 --> 00:12:42,164
You're creeping me out.
You're on posse probation.
324
00:12:42,199 --> 00:12:43,432
All right, here we are.
325
00:12:43,466 --> 00:12:44,867
Hoo! You guys ready
to go to jail?!
326
00:12:44,901 --> 00:12:46,135
No.
[Knocks on door]
327
00:12:46,169 --> 00:12:48,437
Jay! Get the hell out here!
328
00:12:48,471 --> 00:12:49,705
This is the last time
329
00:12:49,739 --> 00:12:51,140
you tongue Andrew's girlfriend
in the mouth.
330
00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:53,375
Stu, we really don't have to do this.
[Door opens]
331
00:12:55,137 --> 00:12:57,538
Jay: Andrew?
332
00:12:57,572 --> 00:12:59,607
What's going on here?
333
00:12:59,641 --> 00:13:01,175
Stu: I'll tell you
what's going on here, sir.
334
00:13:01,209 --> 00:13:02,209
You have served our country
honorably,
335
00:13:02,244 --> 00:13:03,544
and you have earned the right
336
00:13:03,578 --> 00:13:05,379
to make out with anybody's
girlfriend that you want.
337
00:13:05,414 --> 00:13:09,283
Yes, and here is a v.I.P. Pass
to club hakkasan in Las Vegas
338
00:13:09,318 --> 00:13:11,452
for whenever I'm spinning.
What?
339
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:14,255
And here is a crisp 40 bucks.
You know, semper fi.
340
00:13:14,289 --> 00:13:16,257
You guys, I'm...
I'm not a real marine.
341
00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:18,059
This is just to get on
"the price is right."
342
00:13:18,093 --> 00:13:19,660
They always pick guys
in the military.
343
00:13:19,695 --> 00:13:21,562
So you kiss
other people's girlfriends
344
00:13:21,596 --> 00:13:23,364
and you lie
to get on game shows.
345
00:13:23,398 --> 00:13:25,333
I mean, come on. You're a...
A genius.
346
00:13:25,367 --> 00:13:27,601
[Laughs]
So let's go in there, have some drinks.
347
00:13:27,636 --> 00:13:28,869
Then we'll hit
the army Navy store.
348
00:13:28,904 --> 00:13:30,671
And then we'll go win us
some jet skis.
349
00:13:30,705 --> 00:13:32,239
I'm there.
Hey, you guys, what?
350
00:13:32,274 --> 00:13:33,941
Yeah! Ha ha!
What are you...
351
00:13:33,976 --> 00:13:35,142
I wanna get a vacuum cleaner.
352
00:13:35,177 --> 00:13:37,611
The worst posse ever.
Shut up!
353
00:13:41,639 --> 00:13:43,640
I'm taking the yaris!
354
00:13:43,675 --> 00:13:44,941
Just know
that it wasn't personal.
355
00:13:44,976 --> 00:13:46,243
Oh, yeah, I know.
356
00:13:46,277 --> 00:13:48,211
The minute Andrew stood up
for his relationship with you
357
00:13:48,246 --> 00:13:49,946
and I saw how much
he cared about you,
358
00:13:49,981 --> 00:13:51,682
I immediately pulled back.
359
00:13:51,716 --> 00:13:54,017
What does not pulling back
look like?
360
00:13:54,052 --> 00:13:55,419
Oh, you know...
Like, side boob,
361
00:13:55,453 --> 00:13:57,821
and licking lollipops
suggestively.
362
00:13:57,855 --> 00:13:59,156
Yeah. No, I know.
Mm-hmm.
363
00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:00,457
[Chuckles] Lollipops.
364
00:14:01,032 --> 00:14:03,434
I guess that's why
he was so tough to get over.
365
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:06,203
I mean, when we met,
it just seemed...
366
00:14:06,238 --> 00:14:08,038
Different.
How so?
367
00:14:08,073 --> 00:14:10,007
Well, I was living
in San Francisco,
368
00:14:10,041 --> 00:14:13,043
and I locked eyes with this guy
at the airport.
369
00:14:13,078 --> 00:14:14,812
Then a week later,
I moved to L.A.,
370
00:14:14,846 --> 00:14:18,682
and I'm in a coffee shop,
and there he is.
371
00:14:18,717 --> 00:14:19,984
To me, it just seemed like
an amazing coincidence,
372
00:14:20,018 --> 00:14:22,920
but he said that it was
meant to be.
373
00:14:24,842 --> 00:14:27,044
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, wait.
374
00:14:27,078 --> 00:14:30,747
So... Isn't that what Andrew
said to you on your first date,
375
00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,582
about how you guys met?
376
00:14:32,617 --> 00:14:34,384
Yep.
377
00:14:34,419 --> 00:14:36,520
Not cool.
378
00:14:36,554 --> 00:14:38,288
[Exhales sharply]
379
00:14:38,323 --> 00:14:40,257
[Crunching]
380
00:14:52,203 --> 00:14:55,305
[Cell phone vibrates]
381
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,995
Hi.
What are you doing here?
382
00:15:03,664 --> 00:15:04,998
What are you doing here?
383
00:15:05,032 --> 00:15:07,901
I left work early to go beat up
your ex-boyfriend,
384
00:15:07,935 --> 00:15:10,403
and now I am catching up
on some work.
385
00:15:10,438 --> 00:15:11,638
You beat up Jay?
386
00:15:11,672 --> 00:15:14,441
Did you know that he lies
to get onto game shows?
387
00:15:14,475 --> 00:15:16,743
And he is
a full-on posse stealer.
388
00:15:16,777 --> 00:15:19,179
Well, what can I say?
389
00:15:19,213 --> 00:15:21,514
It seems I am drawn
to deceptive men.
390
00:15:21,549 --> 00:15:23,917
Are you... Referring to me?
391
00:15:23,951 --> 00:15:25,118
Yeah.
392
00:15:25,152 --> 00:15:27,087
You know, the guy that I...
393
00:15:27,121 --> 00:15:29,356
And Madeline, apparently...
394
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:31,291
Was meant to be with.
395
00:15:31,325 --> 00:15:35,261
How many women
have you said that to?
396
00:15:36,074 --> 00:15:37,374
Is that your move?
397
00:15:37,409 --> 00:15:39,142
You just use the universe
as your wingman?
398
00:15:39,177 --> 00:15:40,377
No. Zelda...
399
00:15:40,411 --> 00:15:42,212
Look, um...
400
00:15:42,247 --> 00:15:45,182
I thought I meant that
when I said it to her,
401
00:15:45,216 --> 00:15:47,951
but I know I mean it
when I say it to you.
402
00:15:47,986 --> 00:15:49,286
Right. Okay.
403
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:50,554
Until it doesn't work out,
404
00:15:50,588 --> 00:15:52,689
and then you really mean it
with the next girl.
405
00:15:52,724 --> 00:15:54,858
Oh, come on, Zelda. There's not
gonna be a next girl.
406
00:15:54,893 --> 00:15:56,560
Okay, but I'm sorry,
you can see
407
00:15:56,594 --> 00:15:58,896
that those words seem
a little empty to me right now.
408
00:15:58,930 --> 00:16:00,097
What am I supposed to say?
409
00:16:00,131 --> 00:16:01,231
I want you to say something
to convince me
410
00:16:01,266 --> 00:16:02,533
that this is different.
411
00:16:02,567 --> 00:16:03,834
How am I supposed to do that?
412
00:16:03,868 --> 00:16:05,035
It's not like I can
predict the future.
413
00:16:05,069 --> 00:16:06,503
I'm not asking you
to predict the future.
414
00:16:06,537 --> 00:16:09,439
Well, I can't guarantee that
we're gonna be together forever.
415
00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:19,552
Well, that's too bad,
416
00:16:19,586 --> 00:16:21,687
because I was offered
a partnership in the firm,
417
00:16:21,722 --> 00:16:23,622
and it means
moving to New York.
418
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,459
[Inhales deeply]
419
00:16:27,494 --> 00:16:31,330
[Voice breaks] And I didn't
know what to do until just now.
420
00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:34,233
What are you saying?
421
00:16:34,267 --> 00:16:37,670
Uh, this job is a sure thing,
and I don't...
422
00:16:37,704 --> 00:16:40,706
I don't wanna turn it down
for something that isn't.
423
00:16:45,478 --> 00:16:46,746
So based on what you told me,
424
00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:50,416
I would say your decision
is pretty clear.
425
00:16:54,354 --> 00:16:57,123
You're right.
426
00:16:57,157 --> 00:16:58,824
I wanna move to New York.
427
00:17:13,823 --> 00:17:15,490
You're really going away
forever then?
428
00:17:15,525 --> 00:17:17,893
No, that is in
another four months.
429
00:17:17,927 --> 00:17:18,994
This is just a trip
430
00:17:19,028 --> 00:17:21,463
to check out
the east coast offices.
431
00:17:21,497 --> 00:17:23,799
I will be back in a week.
432
00:17:23,833 --> 00:17:26,501
[Voice breaks] So I guess
this is really good-bye then.
433
00:17:26,536 --> 00:17:29,905
Oh, is that
your y2k doomsday clock?
434
00:17:29,939 --> 00:17:31,173
Yes, it is.
Hmm.
435
00:17:31,207 --> 00:17:33,475
I knew I'd find
another use for it.
436
00:17:33,509 --> 00:17:37,079
I'm gonna set it
for the day that you leave.
437
00:17:39,048 --> 00:17:41,717
I'm making the right decision,
right?
438
00:17:41,751 --> 00:17:43,018
Yes.
439
00:17:43,052 --> 00:17:45,187
This job is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.
440
00:17:45,221 --> 00:17:46,555
It really is.
441
00:17:46,589 --> 00:17:49,525
But it'd probably be
the end of you and Andrew.
442
00:17:51,227 --> 00:17:53,395
Maybe that was inevitable.
443
00:17:56,399 --> 00:17:57,866
[Horn honks]
444
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,537
[Telephone ringing]
445
00:18:01,571 --> 00:18:03,372
This'll be your office.
446
00:18:03,406 --> 00:18:05,841
Uh, the firm will pay
for your travel expenses,
447
00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:07,843
and, uh, set you up
with an apartment.
448
00:18:07,877 --> 00:18:09,578
Uh, we have an in-house gym.
449
00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:14,850
As you can probably tell,
I'm a bit of a joker.
450
00:18:14,884 --> 00:18:16,218
[Inhales sharply]
451
00:18:16,252 --> 00:18:18,687
Right. Yes, I...
Oh, well. [Chuckles]
452
00:18:18,721 --> 00:18:20,889
There's more where that came from.
Oh. Okay.
453
00:18:20,924 --> 00:18:22,391
I'm go get your key
to the partner kitchen, so...
454
00:18:22,425 --> 00:18:23,792
Thank you.
Ba-dum-dum.
455
00:18:23,826 --> 00:18:25,093
Oh. [Chuckles]
456
00:18:45,949 --> 00:18:48,684
We're really sorry
for turning on you last night.
457
00:18:48,718 --> 00:18:49,985
And just so you know,
458
00:18:50,019 --> 00:18:52,087
me and the posse ran Jay
right out of town.
459
00:18:52,121 --> 00:18:53,989
Well, technically, we dropped
him off at the airport
460
00:18:54,023 --> 00:18:56,458
so he could fly to Aspen
for his showcase win.
461
00:18:56,493 --> 00:18:58,160
I can't believe Zelda hasn't
checked in with me
462
00:18:58,194 --> 00:18:59,695
the whole time
she's been in New York.
463
00:18:59,729 --> 00:19:00,996
Forget about Zelda.
[Cell phone clatters]
464
00:19:01,030 --> 00:19:02,364
I brought you out here tonight
465
00:19:02,398 --> 00:19:04,433
so you can completely get her
off your mind.
466
00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:08,070
You do realize this is where
we had our first date, right?
467
00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:10,038
I did not know that.
And these seats that you chose
468
00:19:10,073 --> 00:19:12,140
are the exact seats
that we were sitting in?
469
00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:16,178
Yikes. That is unforch.
470
00:19:16,212 --> 00:19:17,412
You could've stopped that,
though.
471
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,814
Let me...
Let's get some drinks.
472
00:19:18,848 --> 00:19:20,115
[Breathes deeply]
473
00:19:20,149 --> 00:19:21,450
My friend here will have
a Manhattan.
474
00:19:21,484 --> 00:19:23,418
That's where Zelda is.
475
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,621
On the rocks?
476
00:19:25,655 --> 00:19:28,357
Which is what
you and Zelda are. I'm sorry.
477
00:19:28,391 --> 00:19:30,659
Let's go to another place.
No. Hold on. You know what?
478
00:19:30,693 --> 00:19:33,829
Just, uh...
Give me a second.
479
00:19:33,863 --> 00:19:36,165
Don't kill yourself.
480
00:19:36,199 --> 00:19:38,200
To the sisterhood of women!
481
00:19:38,234 --> 00:19:40,502
We ran that girl Madeline
out of town.
482
00:19:40,537 --> 00:19:42,771
She was a man stealer.
A home wrecker.
483
00:19:42,805 --> 00:19:44,973
A dong thief.
484
00:19:45,975 --> 00:19:48,543
And what did we do about it?
485
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:49,878
Basically just talked crap
about her
486
00:19:49,913 --> 00:19:52,347
until she went back to Milwaukee.
Mm-hmm.
487
00:19:52,382 --> 00:19:54,516
Where she belongs.
Cheers!
488
00:19:54,550 --> 00:19:55,551
Cheers.
489
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:57,753
This is Zelda. Leave a message.
490
00:19:57,787 --> 00:19:59,421
Uh, it's me.
I know you're in New York,
491
00:19:59,455 --> 00:20:01,423
and, uh, I know you're not gonna
be back till Friday,
492
00:20:01,457 --> 00:20:04,626
but I needed to say something.
Um...
493
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:06,161
[Exhales deeply]
494
00:20:06,196 --> 00:20:07,729
You're right.
495
00:20:07,764 --> 00:20:09,264
I have been naive,
496
00:20:09,299 --> 00:20:11,466
and there's...
497
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:15,404
Probably no such thing
as "meant to be."
498
00:20:15,438 --> 00:20:17,806
But...
499
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,942
I don't care
500
00:20:19,976 --> 00:20:23,412
because... I wanna be with you.
501
00:20:40,396 --> 00:20:42,598
What are you doing back?
502
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:45,200
I didn't like the view
from my office.
503
00:21:00,616 --> 00:21:02,050
Man and woman: ♪ hey! ♪
504
00:21:03,886 --> 00:21:06,255
Oh!
[Laughs]
505
00:21:07,690 --> 00:21:09,057
Thanks for bringing
your boy.
506
00:21:09,092 --> 00:21:10,325
Thanks for bringing
your girl.
507
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,660
♪ Whoa oh, oh ♪
508
00:21:11,694 --> 00:21:13,662
You think they'll make it?
Give it about four months.
509
00:21:13,696 --> 00:21:15,464
[Chuckles] I think
they'll get married.
510
00:21:15,498 --> 00:21:16,865
[Scoffs and laughs]
♪ hey! ♪
511
00:21:16,899 --> 00:21:18,867
Look at us,
all role-reversally...
512
00:21:18,901 --> 00:21:20,235
You being the pessimist,
513
00:21:20,269 --> 00:21:23,772
and me being the op... Posite
of that.
514
00:21:23,806 --> 00:21:26,141
People do change, Stuart.
515
00:21:30,113 --> 00:21:32,814
Narrator: Andrew and Zelda
will date for four months,
516
00:21:32,849 --> 00:21:36,718
three weeks, five days,
and six hours.
517
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:39,554
This television program
is the comprehensive account
518
00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:40,953
of their relationship.
519
00:21:41,428 --> 00:21:43,203
From A to Z.
520
00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:47,265
sync and corrections by madhatters
www.addic7ed.com