7 00:00:05,510 --> 00:00:07,290 Well, I'm really glad we did this. 8 00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:09,190 Yeah, I--that was wonderful. 9 00:00:09,190 --> 00:00:12,300 I love Mother Courage. I think it's a great play. 10 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,780 Yes, me too. 11 00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:20,740 Mm, um, Marcus is at a friend's house tonight, yeah? 12 00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:23,270 Did you, um, want me to come in, or... 13 00:00:23,580 --> 00:00:28,240 - I could...have a glass of wine, or... - Boop! 14 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,910 Maybe--maybe another time. 15 00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:34,780 Sure, have a great night. 16 00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:35,830 You too. 17 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,960 - Oh, my God. - Are you spying on me? 18 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,280 It was like a car accident, and I didn't want to look, 19 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:44,710 but I couldn't tear my eyes away. 20 00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:48,080 Did you just "Boop" Mr. Chris on the nose? 21 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,210 Oh, he wanted to come in, and I... 22 00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:51,450 - Panicked. - Why? 23 00:00:51,450 --> 00:00:53,130 'Cause, you know, 24 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,120 - We haven't-- - What? 25 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,100 - You haven't shoveled snow together? - We haven't... 26 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,030 - consummated. - What? 27 00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:02,490 What are you-- 28 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,330 Oh, stop it. Stop it. 29 00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,420 You guys have gone on, like, what, six dates 30 00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:07,920 and you guys haven't slept together? 31 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:11,200 Eight. And I know the time probably is now. 32 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,050 The time was six dates ago. 33 00:01:13,050 --> 00:01:16,890 I'm out of practice and I can't get over this hurdle. 34 00:01:16,890 --> 00:01:20,320 How do people just go from not having sex 35 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:24,710 to having sex? What happens in the middle? 36 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,920 Sex. Sex happens in the middle. 37 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,780 And in the beginning, and in the end. 38 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,270 Look, Mr. Chris isn't my favorite person 39 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,410 in the whole world, but he's still a guy. 40 00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:36,000 He's still a human. You need to get over this, 41 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,220 you know, hurdle of yours. 42 00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,060 Or he's not going to stick around, Fiona. 43 00:01:39,060 --> 00:01:43,470 And when you do "Do it," do not tell me. 44 00:02:25,690 --> 00:02:26,730 What? 45 00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:31,690 And these are some of the ribs 46 00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:33,050 that we've eaten over the years. 47 00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:36,180 We got the feelings wheel, some orange soda legs, 48 00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:37,620 and we have the knife in the foot. 49 00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:39,320 You know, honestly I think this is the moment 50 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,500 when our friendship just became undeniable. 51 00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,240 Definitely. What's the hair? 52 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,380 Oh, the hair is actually your hair. 53 00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:46,630 You see, I snuck into your bathroom 54 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,180 and took some from your shower drain. 55 00:02:48,180 --> 00:02:50,400 There's even some of my mom's in there, too. 56 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,970 I just couldn't wait to show you until tomorrow. 57 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:59,360 which would make today manniversary eve. 58 00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:01,040 Right. Right, of course. 59 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:02,920 And that would make tomorrow... 60 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,250 Manniversary. 61 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:08,500 Can you believe it's a year ago tomorrow that we first met? 62 00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:09,960 Obviously. 63 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,080 Aw, man, this is such a nice-- 64 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,710 This is such a... Creative gift. 65 00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:17,330 It is. He put a lot of work into it. 66 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:20,470 Lot of brainstorming, image boards, 67 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:22,060 bone scrubbing. 68 00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:24,010 Man, I can't wait to see what you got me. 69 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:25,440 Yeah, me neither. 70 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,250 Could I have a hint? No, no, no, I don't want a hint. 71 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,500 Okay, maybe just one hint. 72 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,210 Well, let me tell you something, Marcus. 73 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,780 I can't tell you what I got you 74 00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:33,500 'cause obviously tomorrow's the actual day, 75 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,440 But what I can tell you as a hint, 76 00:03:35,450 --> 00:03:39,690 is that it is exactly what you wanted. 77 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,930 No, it's not. 78 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:42,800 Yeah, it is. 79 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,350 You got me tickets to the Golden Gate Femfest? 80 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,390 Mom, this is the greatest day of my life. 81 00:03:47,390 --> 00:03:51,640 I know. The Golden Gate Femfest. 82 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,390 The folk festival of iconic female singers. 83 00:03:55,390 --> 00:03:57,180 Marcus has been begging me to take him 84 00:03:57,180 --> 00:03:58,570 ever since we moved here. 85 00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:02,240 And that is why I have gotten you a ticket, buddy. 86 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,720 Yep, you're go-- we're going. 87 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,610 Two tickets to Femfest. You and me. 88 00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:07,120 Dreams are coming true. 89 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,380 Vip experience all the way, bud. 90 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:11,750 Does that mean what I think it means? 91 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:13,650 I'm meeting Lisa Loeb? 92 00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:16,000 Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter/ 93 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,080 eyeglasses trendsetter Lisa Loeb? 94 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,190 - I guess you are. - Oh, my God! 95 00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:21,810 I have to find something to wear. 96 00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:23,220 Something that says, "I'm obsessed with you, 97 00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:24,900 but I'm still just a normal boy." 98 00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:27,450 Um, maybe my Lisa Loeb shirt, and my Lisa Loeb beanie, 99 00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:28,830 but, you know, just normal pants. 100 00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:30,740 Yeah, I don't want to come across as a stalker. 101 00:04:30,740 --> 00:04:32,290 All right, I love you, Will! 102 00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:34,200 All right, buddy. See you later. 103 00:04:34,830 --> 00:04:36,270 What the hell just happened? 104 00:04:36,270 --> 00:04:38,090 You may not have those tickets yet, 105 00:04:38,090 --> 00:04:39,370 but you're going to get them. 106 00:04:39,370 --> 00:04:41,330 Every man in that child's life lets him down, 107 00:04:41,340 --> 00:04:42,670 You will not be another one, Will. 108 00:04:42,670 --> 00:04:44,650 I don't even know who Lisa Loeb is. 109 00:04:44,650 --> 00:04:48,590 * You say I only hear what I want to * 110 00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:50,560 Please stop, please! 111 00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:50,560 {\an7}* Talk so all the time * 112 00:04:51,230 --> 00:04:54,620 I mean, who in the world has ever even heard of 113 00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:56,860 Golden Gate Femfest? 114 00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:59,380 Um, we have. We go every year. 115 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:00,370 - What? - Yeah. 116 00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:02,420 That's not something I scream from the mountaintops, 117 00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:06,000 but Laurie loves a folk festival. 118 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,030 She becomes the Laurie I fell in love with. 119 00:05:08,030 --> 00:05:10,260 She gets funny, wild, 120 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,140 - sexy. - Oh, God, dude. 121 00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:14,270 No underwear. 122 00:05:14,870 --> 00:05:16,040 But I don't know what you're gonna do. 123 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,330 It's been sold out for, like, a month. 124 00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:18,360 What? 125 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,630 Yeah, we got our tickets, like, four months ago. 126 00:05:19,630 --> 00:05:21,180 Well, you gotta give me your tickets then, 127 00:05:21,180 --> 00:05:23,410 because I can't let the kid down, you know that. 128 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,200 You know, you take a lot, Will. 129 00:05:26,340 --> 00:05:28,360 You will not take femfest Laurie. 130 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,860 You will not. 131 00:05:33,390 --> 00:05:36,750 Oh, hello. Hello, Marcus' English teacher. 132 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:39,810 - Um, Mr. Chris, is it? - Yes, hello. 133 00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:42,540 Hello. I wonder if we could have a word? 134 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,550 We--yes, I actually wanted-- 135 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,130 I actually wanted to talk to you as well, 136 00:05:46,130 --> 00:05:50,340 about Marcus' Death of a Salesman paper. 137 00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:51,490 - Good. - Yes. 138 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,720 Let's go over here. 139 00:05:54,470 --> 00:05:57,310 I was just-- I was just thinking, um, ahem-- 140 00:05:57,310 --> 00:06:00,930 Instead of, uh, going out for dinner tomorrow night, 141 00:06:00,930 --> 00:06:02,700 I thought perhaps we could stay in. 142 00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:05,450 Marcus is going to be gone all evening. 143 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:10,500 So I thought that you could finally see my house. 144 00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:14,420 You know, all the rooms. 145 00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:17,450 That sounds great. What can I bring? 146 00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:19,060 A bottle of red? Dessert? 147 00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:20,280 No. No, no, no, no. 148 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,370 I-I will be providing dessert 149 00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:25,820 with my body. 150 00:06:27,110 --> 00:06:28,770 Your body is dessert, I got it. 151 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:30,210 Well, I'm excited. 152 00:06:30,210 --> 00:06:31,560 Okay, yeah. I am, too. 153 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:32,840 I must go now. 154 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,840 This is the face of an excited person. 155 00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:44,930 I just don't understand what you've been doing 156 00:06:44,930 --> 00:06:47,820 for eight dates if you're not having sex. 157 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,290 He's a fascinating conversationalist. 158 00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:52,900 I mean, he's traveled all over the world. 159 00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:55,150 Exactly. Can you imagine what he knows, 160 00:06:55,150 --> 00:06:56,540 - what he's learned? - Yeah. 161 00:06:56,540 --> 00:06:58,010 He's learned six languages. 162 00:06:58,010 --> 00:07:01,240 And he's currently learning conversational zulu. 163 00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,660 - No, I'm talking positions. - Positions? 164 00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:06,360 Well, hold on, hold on. I mean, let's just review. 165 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,340 I mean, there's-- there's basically two posit-- 166 00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:10,800 Well, there's three. 167 00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:12,520 - Lying down's one. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 168 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,630 - Flip-- - Fiona, you have to learn 169 00:07:15,690 --> 00:07:17,450 to turn the mom part off, 170 00:07:18,030 --> 00:07:19,440 and the sex Goddess part on. 171 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,200 Yeah, but how do I do that? 172 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,140 Well, 173 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,090 I take a shot of goldschlager 174 00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:27,500 and watch an episode of Orange Is the New Black. 175 00:07:27,510 --> 00:07:28,940 But that's what works for me. 176 00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:30,600 You have to find what works for you. 177 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,290 How's your bedroom? 178 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,190 Is it appropriate to entertain a man in? 179 00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:36,000 Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. 180 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:36,650 I think-- I think that's-- 181 00:07:36,650 --> 00:07:38,670 - I don't believe you. - I think that it-- 182 00:07:38,670 --> 00:07:40,190 That'll be our second stop. 183 00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:41,340 Why? What-- 185 00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:44,280 Oh, God, no. I've shaved up to my knee. 186 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,560 Oh, honey, we're going way above the knee. 187 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,870 It's going to be like a little pinch. 188 00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:53,390 Just give her what you give me. 189 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,430 Right this way. 190 00:07:56,090 --> 00:07:58,190 - Brazilian? - No, British. 191 00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:02,440 Do you think anybody else here 192 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,110 is celebrating their manniversary? 193 00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:05,380 I highly doubt it. 194 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,450 - Oh hey, look. - Hey. 195 00:08:07,450 --> 00:08:09,140 - What's up, guys? - Hey. 196 00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,150 What's up? 197 00:08:10,150 --> 00:08:11,800 Oh. Wow, Laurie. 198 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,800 - You look different. - Thank you very much, Will. 199 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,090 I said different. Keep your pants on. 200 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:17,950 How'd you get the tix? 202 00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:20,300 - My buddy, Craig. - Mr. List, huh? 203 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,870 How have I never met this guy? 204 00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:23,200 Marcus, are you excited? 205 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,950 I'm so excited, Laurie. 206 00:08:24,950 --> 00:08:26,600 Hey, do you think I could have a brownie? 207 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:27,630 - Oh, no, no, no. - Oh, no, dude. 208 00:08:27,630 --> 00:08:29,050 Those are Andy's brownies. 209 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,250 Adult brownies. 211 00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:31,470 They have coffee in them. 212 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:32,440 Lots of coffee. 213 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,900 God, I hate being pregnant. 214 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,640 - I miss coffee. - That's okay. 215 00:08:35,650 --> 00:08:37,130 I'll just have a rice krispie treat. 216 00:08:37,130 --> 00:08:39,120 No. Those have coffee, too. 217 00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:40,410 Chicken kabob? 218 00:08:40,810 --> 00:08:43,530 Seriously, guys? In the chicken kabobs? 219 00:08:43,530 --> 00:08:44,650 - Yep. - You know what, that's fine. 220 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,150 You know, if I eat something I might throw up 221 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,460 - when I meet Lisa Loeb. - You're gonna meet Lisa Loeb? 222 00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:51,420 Yeah. Will arranged the whole thing. 223 00:08:51,420 --> 00:08:54,120 Really? Didn't know Mr. List had that hook-up. 224 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,000 Wow, Will. 225 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,220 I'm having feelings for you I've never felt before. 226 00:08:57,220 --> 00:08:59,470 Oh, well, it was only a matter of time, Laurie. 227 00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:02,420 Thank you, really. I'm flattered, but, never. 228 00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:05,770 Even if Andy was hit by a truck and his last dying wish-- 229 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:08,210 Respect, Will. And it's gone. 230 00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:09,870 Why has it always got to be a truck with you? 231 00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:12,020 - It's so violent. - It's better than a car. 232 00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:13,720 How'd you hook that up? She's the headliner. 233 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,500 - That's a big deal. - Because I'm very important, 234 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,100 that's how. Let's go meet Lisa Loeb. 235 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,170 Yeah, you are. 236 00:09:19,690 --> 00:09:21,220 I think you should lay off the coffee. 237 00:09:24,870 --> 00:09:27,520 Oh my God. 238 00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:28,530 No, no. 239 00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:30,690 You can't have sex in this room. 240 00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:32,720 - Why? Why not? - Okay, picture this, 241 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:36,130 you're in the bed about to get down and dirty. 242 00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:37,730 Chris leans over to turn off the light 243 00:09:37,730 --> 00:09:39,040 and what does he see? 244 00:09:39,390 --> 00:09:41,620 Constipation, Withholdinh and Your Child. 245 00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:43,510 Yeah, a family guide to soiling and wetting. 246 00:09:43,510 --> 00:09:44,440 - No. - It's a-- 247 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,530 - No. - But it's a relevant-- 248 00:09:45,530 --> 00:09:49,990 No, it's not. And with all the photos of Marcus. 249 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,190 Yeah, but he's my son. 250 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,750 Of course I got pictures of him in my bedroom. 251 00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:53,710 Fiona. 252 00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:55,590 Okay, I'll put tedicus away. 253 00:09:55,590 --> 00:09:56,660 Okay. Oh, hey. 254 00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:58,080 I got you a gift. 255 00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:01,080 This is what I would wear 256 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,790 if I was spending the night with Mr. Chris. 257 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,070 Not that I've thought about it. 258 00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,620 Is it a hairnet? 259 00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:09,690 No. 260 00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:12,200 It's lingerie! 261 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,370 I'll show you how to put it on. 262 00:10:13,370 --> 00:10:14,970 Oh, my God, what are you wearing on your feet? 263 00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:18,260 - Um, what--those? - No, nobody wants to have sex in clogs. 264 00:10:18,260 --> 00:10:19,550 I do. 265 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,840 Here. Here. 266 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,810 Here. My mom always said, 267 00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:27,090 "if you want to feel sexy, wear a pair of sexy boots." 268 00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,940 Why did my mom buy me sex boots? 269 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,760 Maybe I need to go back to therapy. 270 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,060 Yeah, but don't sleep with your therapist again. 271 00:10:35,060 --> 00:10:37,380 Well, I am a woman with needs, Fiona. 272 00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,190 Oh, my God, he's here. 273 00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:41,390 Okay, okay. Okay, calm down. 274 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,520 Breathe. You're going to go. 275 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:44,720 You're going to put on the boots. 276 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,030 I'll clean up your room. 277 00:10:46,030 --> 00:10:47,700 - And I'll go out the window. - What? 278 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:50,020 I've done it before. Okay, go. 279 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,050 Boots. 280 00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,350 That's a lot of teddy bears. 281 00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:55,460 I think my feet are a bit beefier than yours. 282 00:10:57,730 --> 00:10:59,680 - Hello. - Hi. 283 00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:02,460 - Here. - Oh, thank you. 284 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:04,160 - You look beautiful. - Thank you. 285 00:11:17,070 --> 00:11:19,580 Man, this is it, Will. The VIP section. 286 00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:21,090 I mean, if this is what we're doing 287 00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:22,720 for our first manniversary, 288 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,040 imagine what we'll do for, like, our 20th. 289 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,780 I mean, ten is tin, so, you know, 290 00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:28,270 that one's obvious. 291 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,240 - Passes, please. - Oh, no, no, no. 292 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,070 - We're with the band. - Which band is that? 293 00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:34,000 - Lisa Loeb. - Oh, okay. 294 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,700 - Passes, please. - Marcus, 295 00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:37,050 can you give us a quick sec? 296 00:11:37,050 --> 00:11:40,330 Go check out that Joni Mitchell cactus garden I saw before. 297 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:45,000 Look, Edison. That's a cool name by the way. 298 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,780 - You got any kids? - Seven. 299 00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:48,920 Oh, my God. Seven? 300 00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:50,460 Whoa, well done. 301 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,560 Same mom? That's not-- 302 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,520 That's not my business. I don't know why I asked that. 303 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:55,590 But you get it, right? 304 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,460 When you promise a kid something, 305 00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:58,770 you don't want to let them down. 306 00:11:58,770 --> 00:11:59,780 That's your kid? 307 00:12:00,990 --> 00:12:02,380 - He's my neighbor. - Okay, first off, 308 00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:04,990 you're a grown man at femfest 309 00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,500 with your little boy neighbor. 310 00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:09,180 - That's a little weird. - Well, I care about him 311 00:12:09,180 --> 00:12:11,100 and he care about women's folk music. 312 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:13,050 - Is that weird? - Yeah, kinda. 313 00:12:13,050 --> 00:12:14,950 Second off, I would never promise my kid 314 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,730 something I couldn't deliver on. 315 00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:19,230 - Because I have integrity. - 200 bucks? 316 00:12:19,230 --> 00:12:21,410 - I have seven kids. - Okay. 317 00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,850 - Cost of integrity has gone up. - Way up. 318 00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:25,540 All right. Marcus, we're in. 319 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,460 Don't be afraid to use some of that for condoms. 320 00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:34,190 - This looks great. - Oh, yeah, I-I... 321 00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:38,540 - I think fondue is such a sensual food, isn't it? - Yeah. 322 00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:42,170 I probably shouldn't have made it with cashew cheese 'cause-- 323 00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:45,310 I'm--Gosh, it's really-- 324 00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:47,190 You know what? I'll just... 325 00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:50,020 Scrape it out of there. It's gonna be fine. 326 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,590 Didn't think it through, really. 327 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,110 Are you okay? 328 00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:56,760 I'm fine, yeah. 329 00:12:58,290 --> 00:12:59,500 - Good. - Okay. 330 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:00,850 - Okay. - Oh, bloody hell, no. 331 00:13:00,850 --> 00:13:03,240 Oh, ah. Don't touch me there. 332 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,410 I did a yoga class. Very sore. 333 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:06,920 Oh, look, we need more wine. 334 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:12,750 Marcus did write an excellent paper on Death Of A Salesman. 335 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:15,210 Oh, did he? Oh, let's not talk about Marcus now. 336 00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:16,800 He's not really that interesting, is he? 337 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,250 Oh, you know, kids. 338 00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,670 Boring, right? Wine? 339 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,130 - There we go. - Just a little, thanks. 340 00:13:22,130 --> 00:13:23,570 - Okay. - Thank you. 341 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:24,710 Cheers. 342 00:13:31,670 --> 00:13:32,960 Right. I'm done with the wine. 343 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,030 Should we have dessert? 344 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,350 - Upstairs dessert? - Fiona, Fiona. 345 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,370 - Why don't we just... - No, bup-bup-bup. 346 00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,940 Gotta get up to the boudoir. 347 00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:43,010 And if you could meet me there, 348 00:13:43,010 --> 00:13:45,950 just give me a minute 'cause I want to get ready. 349 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:49,310 Uh, count 100 Mississippi. 350 00:13:50,510 --> 00:13:54,010 Or just count like an adult. 351 00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:02,950 How much longer are we going to wait for Lisa Loeb? 352 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,500 You know what? We're not going to wait for Lisa Loeb. 353 00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:08,110 We're going to go after Lisa Loeb. 354 00:14:08,110 --> 00:14:09,100 Come on. 355 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,640 She's gonna have the biggest trailer, right? 356 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,090 I bet it's purple. She loves purple. 357 00:14:14,090 --> 00:14:15,970 It could also be a Hello Kitty trailer though. 358 00:14:15,970 --> 00:14:17,510 She also loves Hello Kitty. 359 00:14:17,510 --> 00:14:19,220 We could try to sniff out the coffee. 360 00:14:19,230 --> 00:14:22,270 Because did you know Lisa Loeb has her own coffee brand? 361 00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:24,630 And her own eyeglasses collection? 362 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:27,190 Man, I wish I was cool enough to wear glasses. 363 00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:31,010 Bingo. Come on. 365 00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:33,810 Oh, I think I just peed myself. 366 00:14:33,810 --> 00:14:36,660 No, wait, that's just the juicebox I brought for Lisa Loeb. 367 00:14:36,670 --> 00:14:39,530 She loves juice. Is she even in there? 368 00:14:39,550 --> 00:14:41,260 - I'm gonna need your help with this. - Oh, okay. 369 00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:43,520 Are you sure we're allowed to do this? 370 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,040 Okay, I see a hunched over figure. 371 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,720 So beautiful, spunky, and wise. 372 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,130 Yeah, that's definitely her. 373 00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:53,560 Oh, wait, she's getting up. She's looking at me. 374 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,900 - Is she happy or pissed? - Unclear. 375 00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:58,010 But I am making eye contact with Lisa Loeb. 376 00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:59,240 Excuse me. 377 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,170 - You're coming with me. - What's that, now? 378 00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:05,120 Oh my God. What is-- 379 00:15:05,810 --> 00:15:07,620 Bloody hell, dakota. That's not-- 380 00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,080 96 Mississippi. 381 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,900 Okay, hold on. Hold on. 382 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,110 Hold on. 383 00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:14,050 98 Mississippi. 384 00:15:14,050 --> 00:15:15,610 Is it supposed to be that red? 385 00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:17,570 - Is it? - 99 Mississippi. 386 00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:19,440 God, he's such a bloody fast counter. 387 00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:20,870 100 Mississippi. 388 00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:22,990 All right. Coming! 389 00:15:28,770 --> 00:15:31,010 - Wow, hi. - Hello. 390 00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,160 - So this is your bedroom. - Yep. 391 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,280 Yeah. This is where the magic happens. 392 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:38,930 I mean, not all the time. Just occasionally. 393 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,500 Not that often. Um, should we sit on the bed? 394 00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:45,310 - Yes, let's. - Okay. 395 00:15:47,290 --> 00:15:49,650 - Are you limping, or... - No, no. 396 00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:52,550 Have a seat under the mosquito net. 397 00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:53,800 Sure. Just-- 398 00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:02,080 Great. 399 00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:08,720 Oh, dear. 400 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:11,130 The, uh, yeah. Um-- 401 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,790 Boot actually does hurt quite a lot. 402 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,190 Well, do you want to take them off? 403 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:18,000 No. No, absolutely not. 404 00:16:21,020 --> 00:16:22,730 - Are you shuddering? - Yes, actually. 405 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,100 Horribly painful. 406 00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:25,670 Then wh--here, let me help you take this boot off. 407 00:16:25,670 --> 00:16:27,640 Okay. Okay. 408 00:16:30,510 --> 00:16:31,350 - You sure? I just... - Oh, no, no. 409 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,080 - I think you should just relax. - I've got good momentum. 410 00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:36,770 Bloody hell. 411 00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:41,300 - Oh, my--oh, God! - Oh, is it--is it bad? 412 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,380 Yeah. 413 00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:49,030 So you never had the VIP tickets, huh? 414 00:16:49,030 --> 00:16:51,050 No, bud, I didn't. 415 00:16:51,050 --> 00:16:52,540 Why didn't you just tell me? 416 00:16:52,540 --> 00:16:55,760 Because, you know, well, I just--I messed up. 417 00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:58,360 I wanted to give you the best manniversary ever, 418 00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,730 But the problem is I didn't know that 419 00:16:59,730 --> 00:17:02,830 manniversary was an actual thing until the day before. 420 00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:05,640 There's no such thing as a manniversary? 421 00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:10,120 Then I was a real jerk to the guy at the Hallmark store. 422 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,950 Look, I--you know, I thought I had the connections. 423 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,480 I thought I could get you to meet your idol, 424 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,410 but I couldn't, and, uh, 425 00:17:18,590 --> 00:17:19,620 I'm sorry. 426 00:17:21,550 --> 00:17:23,310 You know, Will, my mom always said, 427 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,320 "Never meet your idol because they always disappoint you." 428 00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:27,800 You see, that's why it's great 429 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,360 I met you first as the weird neighbor. 430 00:17:30,390 --> 00:17:33,300 Then I realized you were the coolest person ever. 431 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:36,520 In what universe am I the weird neighbor? 432 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,260 This has been the best year of my life, Will. 433 00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:42,760 You know, you may not know this about me, 434 00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:48,060 But I didn't really have a lot of close friends before I met you. 435 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:51,490 - Well, I knew. - I was just moving around so much. 436 00:17:51,490 --> 00:17:52,880 It was pretty hard. 437 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,710 I always wanted a best friend. 438 00:17:54,710 --> 00:17:57,250 And I never would have even dreamed 439 00:17:57,250 --> 00:18:00,120 of having an awesome friendship like ours. 440 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,400 Me neither, buddy. Me neither. 441 00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:05,280 I don't even need to meet Lisa Loeb . 442 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,980 Maybe we could just find Andy and Laurie 443 00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:08,780 and have some adult brownies. 444 00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:11,590 Well, I think we're going to skip the brownies, 445 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,960 But I'm gonna get us out of here. 446 00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:15,080 Edison. 447 00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:21,490 I probably should have said before, um, 448 00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:24,480 but it's been a while since I've been with a man. 449 00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:29,120 I know sex isn't a big deal, I mean, 450 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,860 everybody does it, don't they? 451 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:34,220 And it--it's just a casual thing. 452 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:38,560 But it's not casual for me. 453 00:18:39,930 --> 00:18:42,930 And I know that's exactly what every man wants to hear 454 00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:45,030 right before he jumps in the sack with a girl. 455 00:18:47,050 --> 00:18:49,170 Fiona, you're a single mother, 456 00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:50,560 the parent of one of my students, 457 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,400 and you haven't dated in a decade. 458 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,390 You really think if I wanted something casual, i'd pick you? 459 00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,130 Boop. 460 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:07,410 I find you radiant, and funny, and fascinating. 461 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,590 I have loved getting to know you. 462 00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:11,780 And I can wait. 463 00:19:13,490 --> 00:19:14,480 I can't. 464 00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:20,510 Oh, are you all right? 465 00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:22,260 I'm gonna need another ice pack. 466 00:19:22,590 --> 00:19:23,750 But I can wait. 467 00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:26,960 Go buy yourself a car. 468 00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:28,940 Oh, man. 469 00:19:29,350 --> 00:19:32,030 Our seats are really far away. 470 00:19:32,030 --> 00:19:35,180 We got to walk through a lot of hippies and a lot of patchouli. 471 00:19:35,180 --> 00:19:38,100 Maybe we should just find some seats a little bit closer. 472 00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:40,390 You know what, Will? Maybe we should just call it a day. 473 00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:41,850 I'm sorry, Marcus. 474 00:19:41,850 --> 00:19:43,380 Right this way, Miss Loeb. 475 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,840 You stay right here. I got this. 476 00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:48,150 Hey, Miss Lisa Loeb, Miss Lisa Loeb. 477 00:19:48,150 --> 00:19:50,270 I'm so sorry to bother you, so sorry. 478 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,050 Listen, my best friend over there, 479 00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:55,170 it's our manniversary. He is a huge fan of yours, 480 00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:57,610 and it would be just a huge honor 481 00:19:57,610 --> 00:19:59,330 if you would give him an autograph, 482 00:19:59,330 --> 00:20:01,070 - or, like, a quick picture. - Those are the weirdos 483 00:20:01,070 --> 00:20:02,680 who were peeking in your trailer. 484 00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:05,030 Perverts. 485 00:20:08,530 --> 00:20:11,280 Oh, my God, that was awesome! 486 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,790 Lisa Loeb winked at me! 487 00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:15,480 - Lisa Loeb called us perverts! - Yeah! 488 00:20:15,490 --> 00:20:18,230 - Best manniversary ever. - Yeah! 489 00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:20,040 But shouldn't we go listen? 490 00:20:20,430 --> 00:20:23,430 Lisa Loeb called us perverts, we're not going to top that. 491 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:26,560 *And I thought what I felt was simple* 492 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:29,510 *And I thought that I don't belong* 493 00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:31,460 - Will. - What-- 494 00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,230 What are you doing? This is not acceptable. 495 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,450 I had sex! 496 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:36,810 Fiona, I told you I didn't want to hear 497 00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:38,170 anything about this, okay? 498 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:39,320 I know, sorry. 499 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,180 - Twice! - Oh, stop it, all right. 500 00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:43,240 Look, I'm very proud of you, 501 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,420 But we are never ever to speak of this again, 502 00:20:45,420 --> 00:20:47,100 - do you understand? - Wait, one more thing. 503 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,380 *And I know that you don't believe me* 504 00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:53,330 *When you see I had a lot of sex.* 505 00:20:53,550 --> 00:20:56,070 *But now that I standing here,* 506 00:20:56,070 --> 00:21:00,790 *totally have totally have a lot lot lot sex!* 507 00:21:03,540 --> 00:21:06,010 *To do the twice!*