1 00:00:00,206 --> 00:00:05,576 American Dad The American Dad After School Special 2 00:00:05,704 --> 00:00:08,660 www.forom.com 3 00:00:26,248 --> 00:00:29,786 Subtitles : Fogia Transcript : Raceman 4 00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:41,987 I think he went this way. Come on. 5 00:00:50,915 --> 00:00:54,107 Looks like Smith weaseled out of gym class again, Dad. 6 00:00:54,123 --> 00:00:57,299 I told you, here at school you call me Coach, dipwad. 7 00:00:59,121 --> 00:01:00,544 Where did those dogs come from? 8 00:01:06,505 --> 00:01:08,070 You ditching gym class, too? 9 00:01:08,261 --> 00:01:09,341 Today is... 10 00:01:09,518 --> 00:01:10,460 track. 11 00:01:10,764 --> 00:01:11,753 I hate... 12 00:01:12,112 --> 00:01:12,901 running. 13 00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:15,807 Then we're on the same page. Welcome to my sanctuary. 14 00:01:16,099 --> 00:01:18,820 Look at them... scurrying around like ants. 15 00:01:18,965 --> 00:01:21,193 Go ahead, exercise all you want. 16 00:01:21,286 --> 00:01:25,503 You'll never escape the smoky death of time's magnifying glass. 17 00:01:25,506 --> 00:01:28,290 - Wow, that's a little dark. - Not at all. 18 00:01:28,528 --> 00:01:29,601 Life is a banquet... 19 00:01:29,848 --> 00:01:31,760 And death is dessert. 20 00:01:31,847 --> 00:01:33,523 I love dessert. 21 00:01:38,136 --> 00:01:40,071 That's one impressive man. 22 00:01:40,087 --> 00:01:41,872 Handsome, fit, the whole package. 23 00:01:41,876 --> 00:01:42,923 That's great, Stan. 24 00:01:42,927 --> 00:01:46,722 Can we stop staring at your reflection in the TV and actually turn it on now? 25 00:01:47,216 --> 00:01:52,060 I promised my Mr. Belvedere chat group I'd post a summary of this episode by 6:00. 26 00:01:52,158 --> 00:01:53,813 Those losers are pretty punctual. 27 00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:55,340 Good news, everyone. 28 00:01:55,488 --> 00:01:56,781 I'm in love. 29 00:01:56,835 --> 00:01:58,321 Tell us about her, sweetie. 30 00:01:58,358 --> 00:01:59,352 Her name is Debbie. 31 00:01:59,446 --> 00:02:01,101 She smells like a glue stick, 32 00:02:01,107 --> 00:02:03,163 she shares my interest in bug zappers, 33 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:06,083 and she likes reading old books by guys who died of syphilis. 34 00:02:06,165 --> 00:02:08,950 Syphilis? Ooh, la, la. 35 00:02:08,988 --> 00:02:11,051 Great. Thanks to your gassing on, 36 00:02:11,058 --> 00:02:14,150 I completely missed why Mr. Belvedere is stomping on his hat. 37 00:02:14,266 --> 00:02:16,403 The Internet is not going to be happy. 38 00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:18,870 So what's this Debbie's affiliation? 39 00:02:18,878 --> 00:02:20,962 Varsity cheerleader or regular cheerleader? 40 00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,722 Actually, she's more of an artist. 41 00:02:22,826 --> 00:02:25,900 She played Lady Macbeth in our school production of Oklahoma. 42 00:02:26,126 --> 00:02:27,661 Frankly, it was a mess, 43 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:30,293 but our drama teacher finally got sober, thank God. 44 00:02:30,307 --> 00:02:32,191 So she's an actress. Attaboy. 45 00:02:32,245 --> 00:02:35,103 - My son is dating a hot actress. - I guess. 46 00:02:35,247 --> 00:02:38,673 But mostly I like her because she's so unusual and fascinating. 47 00:02:38,707 --> 00:02:41,023 Of course she's fascinating. She's gorgeous. 48 00:02:41,308 --> 00:02:42,832 You know, I hear she's an actress. 49 00:02:42,905 --> 00:02:45,332 And this girl actually wants to spend time with you? 50 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:48,272 For your information, she said she thinks I'm cute. 51 00:02:48,287 --> 00:02:49,861 So she lies. Great. 52 00:02:49,877 --> 00:02:51,520 That's how you know she doesn't have a penis. 53 00:02:51,555 --> 00:02:53,560 We can't wait to meet her, Steve. 54 00:02:53,635 --> 00:02:54,853 You can say that again. 55 00:02:54,858 --> 00:02:57,663 It'll be nice to have a pretty girl around the house for a change. 56 00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,720 I-I meant a pretty younger girl. 57 00:03:01,417 --> 00:03:03,242 Don't get mad at me. It's called makeup. 58 00:03:07,045 --> 00:03:09,150 Dad, I have a confession about Debbie. 59 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,423 I haven't actually asked her out yet. 60 00:03:12,498 --> 00:03:13,391 Oh, thank God. 61 00:03:13,398 --> 00:03:15,290 I thought you were going to tell me she isn't a cheerleader. 62 00:03:15,435 --> 00:03:18,501 The thing is, I really like Debbie, but I keep chickening out. 63 00:03:18,595 --> 00:03:20,120 Steve, I'm going to motivate you 64 00:03:20,128 --> 00:03:23,141 the same way the CIA motivates its assassins. 65 00:03:23,285 --> 00:03:25,403 You know, when they have trouble asking out a girl. 66 00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:29,050 There. If you don't ask Debbie out in 24 hours, 67 00:03:29,055 --> 00:03:31,242 the collar will sense your stress level and blow up. 68 00:03:31,307 --> 00:03:32,273 Blow up?! 69 00:03:33,216 --> 00:03:35,843 Oops, accidentally set it for 24 minutes. 70 00:03:35,876 --> 00:03:37,202 Oh, man, you better run. 71 00:03:37,815 --> 00:03:39,233 Got to get to Debbie's house. 72 00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:47,370 Oh, boy, the circus is coming to town. 73 00:03:47,736 --> 00:03:49,382 And I'm gonna die! 74 00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:51,603 Okay. 75 00:03:51,715 --> 00:03:55,322 According to my Timex watch, I still have five minutes left. 76 00:04:05,757 --> 00:04:07,820 - Steve, what are you doing here? - Oh... 77 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,091 um.... I... I'm... 78 00:04:19,647 --> 00:04:21,403 I'm so glad you asked me out. 79 00:04:21,555 --> 00:04:23,120 This is my favorite spot. 80 00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:24,761 It's so romantic. 81 00:04:25,095 --> 00:04:27,443 Why did he have to die?! 82 00:04:27,956 --> 00:04:31,861 It sucks we put our dead in the earth where we can't watch them decompose. 83 00:04:31,925 --> 00:04:35,913 You know, putrefaction is simply a community of necrophores that 84 00:04:35,997 --> 00:04:39,232 engorge the carrion with sulfur dioxide gas. 85 00:04:39,506 --> 00:04:42,293 All this talk of death is making me cremate. 86 00:04:47,726 --> 00:04:49,973 Mom, Debbie's going to be here any minute. 87 00:04:50,028 --> 00:04:51,390 Dinner's almost done. 88 00:04:51,447 --> 00:04:52,741 I hope you like her, Dad. 89 00:04:52,748 --> 00:04:55,683 Of course I'll like her. After all, she's your girlfriend. 90 00:04:55,818 --> 00:04:57,870 One day she might even take the Smith name. 91 00:04:57,986 --> 00:04:59,712 What a wedding it will be. 92 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:02,291 Purple napkins, a make-your-own crepe station 93 00:05:02,296 --> 00:05:03,232 and a touching speech 94 00:05:03,235 --> 00:05:06,430 in which I reminisce about the time I dropped you on your head as an infant. 95 00:05:06,575 --> 00:05:08,243 And then someone in the crowd yells out, 96 00:05:08,325 --> 00:05:09,510 "That explains a lot!" 97 00:05:09,515 --> 00:05:11,083 And we all share a laugh. 98 00:05:11,385 --> 00:05:12,380 Here she comes. 99 00:05:14,928 --> 00:05:15,673 Where's Debbie? 100 00:05:15,796 --> 00:05:16,900 Behind that fat girl? 101 00:05:16,955 --> 00:05:17,671 No, Dad, that's... 102 00:05:17,678 --> 00:05:19,421 Is the fat girl going to lead us to Debbie? 103 00:05:19,426 --> 00:05:21,222 - No, that's... - She's carrying a purse. 104 00:05:21,227 --> 00:05:23,032 She must have a map to Debbie in her purse. 105 00:05:23,037 --> 00:05:24,693 Dad, that's Debbie. 106 00:05:25,445 --> 00:05:26,723 To the panic room! 107 00:05:29,868 --> 00:05:31,803 Stan, you're being ridiculous. 108 00:05:31,885 --> 00:05:33,240 We have a guest out there. 109 00:05:33,247 --> 00:05:36,323 Please, Francine, show some panic. Our son is dating a fatty. 110 00:05:36,328 --> 00:05:37,811 Dad, that's awful. 111 00:05:37,926 --> 00:05:39,822 Plus-size women drive our economy 112 00:05:39,826 --> 00:05:42,342 with their purchases of Garfield books and Haagen-Dazs. 113 00:05:42,427 --> 00:05:44,381 You apologize to your son. 114 00:05:44,436 --> 00:05:46,791 For what? You brought fat into our house. 115 00:05:47,027 --> 00:05:49,400 You'd like Debbie if you got to know her, Dad. 116 00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,341 There's a lot more to her than you think. 117 00:05:51,376 --> 00:05:52,703 There's more of her?! 118 00:05:53,616 --> 00:05:56,551 So what are we panicking about? Is there another new Pope? 119 00:05:56,738 --> 00:05:58,101 Damn it, Roger, lock the door. 120 00:05:58,726 --> 00:05:59,710 Hello? 121 00:05:59,855 --> 00:06:00,951 Anyone home? 122 00:06:01,215 --> 00:06:02,901 She smells people food. 123 00:06:03,127 --> 00:06:05,472 Don't worry, she'll probably just rummage around in the refrigerator, 124 00:06:05,476 --> 00:06:06,862 and then retreat back to her lair. 125 00:06:06,906 --> 00:06:08,323 My stars! 126 00:06:08,346 --> 00:06:11,260 Who is that enchanting Rubenesque vision? 127 00:06:12,355 --> 00:06:14,772 She's like a female Mr. Belvedere. 128 00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:20,792 - I'm going after her. - I forbid you to see that girl. 129 00:06:20,846 --> 00:06:22,363 You can't keep us apart. 130 00:06:22,397 --> 00:06:23,440 Debbie! 131 00:06:23,878 --> 00:06:25,480 How can you be so cruel? 132 00:06:25,577 --> 00:06:28,571 Do you want your grandchildren to be half fat, Francine? Is that it? 133 00:06:28,625 --> 00:06:30,560 Who are you to judge someone's weight? 134 00:06:30,638 --> 00:06:33,381 Ja, your suit is stuffed tighter than, um... 135 00:06:33,456 --> 00:06:35,292 some funny German word. 136 00:06:35,797 --> 00:06:38,161 Sorry, I'm kind of running out of fish schtick. 137 00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:40,671 Oh, and just like that, I'm back. 138 00:06:40,756 --> 00:06:42,902 You people are crazy. I'm in great shape. 139 00:06:42,948 --> 00:06:45,181 They're right, Stan. You've let yourself go. 140 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,403 What are you talking about? That's impossible. 141 00:06:51,888 --> 00:06:53,571 Good God, it's true. 142 00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:55,880 I've become one of them. 143 00:07:04,706 --> 00:07:06,970 - Ready for some pancakes, Hayley? - Thanks, Mom. 144 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,133 How about you, Stan? 145 00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,131 Not on my diet. Just some O.J. 146 00:07:14,103 --> 00:07:14,997 Where's Steve? 147 00:07:15,109 --> 00:07:17,260 Still caught in Debbie's gravitational pull? 148 00:07:17,368 --> 00:07:18,690 That's so unfair, Dad. 149 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:20,251 Overweight people have it hard enough 150 00:07:20,258 --> 00:07:22,440 being disgusting without you making fun of them. 151 00:07:24,505 --> 00:07:25,673 God, look at me. 152 00:07:25,725 --> 00:07:26,753 I'm hideous. 153 00:07:26,985 --> 00:07:30,161 Stan, you've been working out for three weeks. You look great. 154 00:07:30,258 --> 00:07:32,193 Great as in great, big fatso. 155 00:07:32,336 --> 00:07:33,932 You know, this is how it starts, Francine. 156 00:07:33,937 --> 00:07:36,951 First you go soft in the belly, then you go soft in defense. 157 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,660 Next think you know, you're wearing a towel on your head 158 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,523 and using your left hand for toilet paper. 159 00:07:40,747 --> 00:07:42,210 Well, not in my America. 160 00:07:46,937 --> 00:07:47,932 Hey, bro. 161 00:07:48,485 --> 00:07:51,002 I couldn't help noticing you're kind of fat and pathetic. 162 00:07:51,086 --> 00:07:53,490 And you're kind of perfect and scrumptious. What's your point? 163 00:07:53,496 --> 00:07:55,681 Name's Zach. I'm a personal trainer. 164 00:07:55,765 --> 00:07:56,920 I wear a trucker cap 165 00:07:56,975 --> 00:07:59,962 and I can mold you into a dude who won't send the ladies puking. 166 00:08:00,028 --> 00:08:02,500 I'll do anything to look like you. When can we start? 167 00:08:02,598 --> 00:08:05,392 Don't waste time asking questions, when you should be rockin' it. 168 00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:06,942 Exercise is everywhere. 169 00:08:07,007 --> 00:08:08,893 See those kids? Potential barbells. 170 00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:10,340 Now rock me two-hundee. 171 00:08:12,257 --> 00:08:13,660 Shut up and help me count. 172 00:08:17,516 --> 00:08:18,410 Here he comes. 173 00:08:18,525 --> 00:08:20,291 Remember, we have to do whatever we can 174 00:08:20,297 --> 00:08:22,110 to get him to eat as much as possible. 175 00:08:22,495 --> 00:08:25,091 Whoa, Zach really kicked my ass at the gym today. 176 00:08:25,095 --> 00:08:26,872 That was one exhausting workout. 177 00:08:28,155 --> 00:08:29,340 Oh, time for my workout. 178 00:08:29,366 --> 00:08:31,520 Let's hear it for the boy 179 00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:35,273 Let's give the boy a hand, yeah 180 00:08:37,156 --> 00:08:39,531 Let's hear it for my baby 181 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,721 You know you got to understand... 182 00:08:42,797 --> 00:08:43,870 You are freaking me out! 183 00:08:44,006 --> 00:08:45,850 - Sit down and eat! - No can do. 184 00:08:45,995 --> 00:08:48,243 Somehow I've gotten even heavier. 185 00:08:48,357 --> 00:08:52,261 Until these pounds start coming off, I need to stick to the Z-Man's plan. 186 00:08:53,216 --> 00:08:55,372 Stop it. You're not fat. 187 00:08:55,526 --> 00:08:58,113 Now come on, I made your favorite pot roast. 188 00:08:58,116 --> 00:08:59,150 Get that away from me. 189 00:08:59,556 --> 00:09:01,260 Die, calories, die. 190 00:09:04,706 --> 00:09:10,073 Let's hear it for my baby 191 00:09:12,728 --> 00:09:14,702 You sunk my battleship. 192 00:09:15,135 --> 00:09:17,861 800 souls were lost. 193 00:09:18,136 --> 00:09:20,291 Among them, Lieutenant Don Sharp. 194 00:09:20,658 --> 00:09:22,851 He made it through the bulkhead before it was closed. 195 00:09:23,248 --> 00:09:24,022 At least... 196 00:09:24,277 --> 00:09:25,852 Half of him did. 197 00:09:25,976 --> 00:09:28,202 God, you're tweaked. Take me. 198 00:09:31,425 --> 00:09:32,022 Yeah. 199 00:09:35,136 --> 00:09:37,123 Oh, my Debbie. 200 00:09:37,426 --> 00:09:39,753 That should be me handling your folds 201 00:09:39,756 --> 00:09:42,620 and squeezing your exquisi back fat. 202 00:09:42,668 --> 00:09:45,513 But you don't know you're cheating on me yet, so I forgive you. 203 00:09:52,956 --> 00:09:53,911 1,001, 204 00:09:54,055 --> 00:09:54,833 1,002, 205 00:09:55,085 --> 00:09:55,913 1,003... 206 00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:57,350 Whoa, there, Jumpy. 207 00:09:57,396 --> 00:10:00,320 I call you "Jumpy" ironically because you suck at jumping rope. 208 00:10:00,497 --> 00:10:02,350 Just like I call fat people "Tiny," 209 00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:04,972 - so start over, Jumpy Tiny. - Z-Man, 210 00:10:05,097 --> 00:10:06,281 how'd you find where I live? 211 00:10:06,336 --> 00:10:07,613 Hey, you're my client. 212 00:10:07,677 --> 00:10:10,333 Now let's rock it up a bump, Chunky Brewster. 213 00:10:10,618 --> 00:10:11,752 What am I doing wrong? 214 00:10:11,756 --> 00:10:14,190 No matter what I do, I keep gaining weight. 215 00:10:14,286 --> 00:10:15,421 Dude, it's your family. 216 00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:16,683 They're sabotaging you. 217 00:10:16,715 --> 00:10:17,932 What are you talking about? 218 00:10:17,978 --> 00:10:21,350 You said they were were all farked at you for dissing you son's fat girlfriend. 219 00:10:22,268 --> 00:10:22,871 They... 220 00:10:23,275 --> 00:10:27,340 They want me to get fat like that girl so I'll apologize to Steve. 221 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,852 Hells yeah! Now drop and give me a thousand! 222 00:10:32,536 --> 00:10:35,520 Oh, yeah, Details published part of my letter. 223 00:10:35,985 --> 00:10:36,752 Hurry, hurry. 224 00:10:37,047 --> 00:10:38,480 - No, put it over here. - Come on. 225 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,201 It's fine. It's fine, Mom. Just do it. Go. 226 00:10:40,418 --> 00:10:42,380 Stan, you startled us. 227 00:10:42,485 --> 00:10:44,832 - What are you doing to my celery? - Nothing, 228 00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:45,892 we're just... 229 00:10:45,985 --> 00:10:47,172 freezing our... 230 00:10:47,415 --> 00:10:48,403 tampons. 231 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,092 - What? - It's a woman thing. 232 00:10:50,145 --> 00:10:51,960 - Keeps 'em crisp. - Great in the summer. 233 00:10:52,045 --> 00:10:54,021 More refreshing than a Popsicle. 234 00:10:54,037 --> 00:10:57,353 Liars! You're sabotaging my veggies to keep me fat. 235 00:10:57,387 --> 00:10:58,960 Dad, you're not fat. 236 00:10:59,046 --> 00:11:01,451 Besides, how could we sabotage your veggies? 237 00:11:01,515 --> 00:11:04,370 Oh, you're diet is making you paranoid, Stan. 238 00:11:05,005 --> 00:11:07,343 I'm watching you two. 239 00:11:12,998 --> 00:11:14,870 Whew! That was close. 240 00:11:14,915 --> 00:11:16,382 Hand me the syringe of lard. 241 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,502 This'll fatten him up. 242 00:11:21,788 --> 00:11:24,802 This latest billion-dollar obstacle course has been designed 243 00:11:24,828 --> 00:11:26,243 to push each of you to the limit. 244 00:11:26,297 --> 00:11:27,912 You'll be climbing a net, 245 00:11:27,945 --> 00:11:32,120 slinking through tires and most dangerous of all, 246 00:11:32,207 --> 00:11:34,042 climbing another net. 247 00:11:34,135 --> 00:11:37,241 Of course, none of this should be any problem for a fit agent. 248 00:11:44,456 --> 00:11:45,550 Oh, look, 249 00:11:45,558 --> 00:11:50,253 Miss Pinkerton fainted at the market buying canned salmon for her puss-puss. 250 00:11:50,338 --> 00:11:51,491 Get up, Smith! 251 00:11:51,888 --> 00:11:56,100 I have no choice but to suspend you until you deal with you weight problem. 252 00:12:00,006 --> 00:12:02,691 I hope all you blubber-loving Judases are happy. 253 00:12:02,757 --> 00:12:05,382 I just got suspended because I'm in such bad shape. 254 00:12:05,498 --> 00:12:07,632 Well, maybe now you'll listen to us. 255 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,583 You've become a man obsessed. 256 00:12:09,586 --> 00:12:11,342 We're all so worried about you. 257 00:12:11,395 --> 00:12:13,963 We have Grey's Anatomy on Season Pass, yes? 258 00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:16,463 Yes. 259 00:12:16,566 --> 00:12:18,673 I was just fine until you all decided 260 00:12:18,677 --> 00:12:20,862 to teach me a lesson by scheming against me. 261 00:12:20,977 --> 00:12:23,283 Now even my boss says I have a weight problem. 262 00:12:23,318 --> 00:12:25,432 You do have a weight problem, 263 00:12:25,507 --> 00:12:27,721 but it's not that you're too fat. 264 00:12:27,777 --> 00:12:31,101 Dad, we've done some research and we think you're anorexic. 265 00:12:31,108 --> 00:12:31,642 What? 266 00:12:31,648 --> 00:12:34,982 You keep thinking you're fat no matter how skinny you get. 267 00:12:35,035 --> 00:12:36,331 That's ridiculous. 268 00:12:36,846 --> 00:12:37,753 Look at me. 269 00:12:38,478 --> 00:12:40,302 It's worse than we thought. 270 00:12:40,306 --> 00:12:43,212 I know. I'm a huge tub of lard. 271 00:12:43,217 --> 00:12:44,633 No, you aren't. 272 00:12:44,637 --> 00:12:47,270 You're just suffering from a delusional state. 273 00:12:47,278 --> 00:12:49,182 Delusional? I'm not delusional. 274 00:12:49,207 --> 00:12:51,552 - Tell 'em, Zach. - Bro, don't listen to them. 275 00:12:51,915 --> 00:12:55,711 Stan, there's no one there. Who are you talking to? 276 00:12:55,717 --> 00:12:59,063 Z-Man, this is Francine, Steve, my daughter Hayley. 277 00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:01,640 I know, I know, but she won't wear makeup. 278 00:13:04,028 --> 00:13:08,280 No I don't have a weight problem! You can't make me go in there! 279 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,033 You're sick and you need help. 280 00:13:10,036 --> 00:13:11,863 And you're uncommonly strong. 281 00:13:12,355 --> 00:13:15,200 So then I said, "What the hell? I'm on vacation." 282 00:13:15,205 --> 00:13:17,100 And I had a second Tic-Tac. 283 00:13:17,118 --> 00:13:20,931 You can totally tell. Look at her massive Tic-Tac thighs. 284 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,340 Eating disorders are no laughing matter, young lady. 285 00:13:25,348 --> 00:13:26,293 Young lady? 286 00:13:26,296 --> 00:13:29,802 Now, now, I know in high school in the showers with the other girls 287 00:13:29,807 --> 00:13:31,610 you feel uncomfortable with your body. 288 00:13:31,616 --> 00:13:34,190 - I'm not in high school! - When was the last time you menstruated? 289 00:13:34,197 --> 00:13:37,472 - I've never menstruated! - Hear that, girls? Cautionary tale: 290 00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:41,452 Anorexia will dry up your ovaries like tobacco in the sun. 291 00:13:41,506 --> 00:13:43,301 Now instead of starving yourselves, 292 00:13:43,306 --> 00:13:46,012 let's discuss healthier ways to get back at Daddy 293 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,902 like marrying a black dude. 294 00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:51,021 Living with an anorexic can be a real challenge. 295 00:13:51,025 --> 00:13:52,162 How did this happen? 296 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,200 Well, when young girls like your father get this disease, 297 00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:57,652 it's usually the result of a jarring event. 298 00:13:57,718 --> 00:14:00,260 Was he recently cut from the cheerleading squad? 299 00:14:01,166 --> 00:14:02,742 No... 300 00:14:02,797 --> 00:14:04,471 Has there been a change at home? 301 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:08,242 A change at home? You brought fat into our house! 302 00:14:09,226 --> 00:14:11,280 I shouldn't be here, Veronica. 303 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,791 Yeah, but your family will keep sending you back 304 00:14:13,796 --> 00:14:15,851 until they think you're getting better. 305 00:14:15,887 --> 00:14:18,430 But I don't want to eat! I hate food! 306 00:14:18,496 --> 00:14:21,203 Don't sweat it. I've got a few tricks I can teach you. 307 00:14:24,248 --> 00:14:26,512 That's been in there for days. 308 00:14:29,207 --> 00:14:30,153 No, no, 309 00:14:30,157 --> 00:14:33,282 Debbie, this breakup has nothing to do with my dad at all. 310 00:14:33,337 --> 00:14:36,301 It's just this is a really bad time for me. 311 00:14:36,618 --> 00:14:39,031 The Ghostbusters box set just came out. 312 00:14:39,036 --> 00:14:41,382 What with that and the new Doom being released. 313 00:14:41,437 --> 00:14:44,171 I just don't think I can give you the time you need. 314 00:14:44,486 --> 00:14:46,780 Forget me, big beautiful creature! 315 00:14:53,088 --> 00:14:56,462 The girl who loves to go to the market is now back on it. 316 00:14:56,466 --> 00:14:59,012 Soon, she'll be mine. Debbie! 317 00:15:00,848 --> 00:15:02,241 Oh! Whose foot is that? 318 00:15:02,377 --> 00:15:04,972 Paddington Bear, you randy bastard. 319 00:15:09,596 --> 00:15:11,342 Stan, you're eating so well. 320 00:15:11,428 --> 00:15:14,440 Let's just say I learned a lot from my new friend Veronica. 321 00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:16,893 You just keep focusing on getting better, Dad. 322 00:15:17,136 --> 00:15:20,592 And you'll be glad to know Debbie won't be around to upset you anymore. 323 00:15:20,645 --> 00:15:22,533 - What do you mean, Steve? - We... 324 00:15:22,815 --> 00:15:25,060 went our separate ways! 325 00:15:27,046 --> 00:15:29,081 It's good to see he's finally happy. 326 00:15:29,168 --> 00:15:30,063 Well, I'm stuffed. 327 00:15:30,066 --> 00:15:33,080 I'm going to take a walk and digest this nutritious repast. 328 00:15:45,468 --> 00:15:48,062 Thank you, Veronica, you fat bitch. 329 00:16:16,357 --> 00:16:17,581 Good-bye, Debbie. 330 00:16:17,647 --> 00:16:20,041 I'm getting rid of everything that reminds me of you, 331 00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:23,162 and sealing it in this beautiful hope chest you made me. 332 00:16:23,536 --> 00:16:26,292 How ya doing, Dad? Fat and healthy, son. 333 00:16:26,305 --> 00:16:28,312 In a few weeks, I'll be a regular Debbie. 334 00:16:30,918 --> 00:16:32,133 Steve, what's wrong? 335 00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:34,363 What about the word "regular" set you off? 336 00:16:34,445 --> 00:16:35,551 Here, have a Little Debbie. 337 00:16:36,847 --> 00:16:38,412 What, now it's the word "little"? 338 00:16:38,525 --> 00:16:40,401 You know what? Why don't I put on some Debbie Gibson 339 00:16:40,407 --> 00:16:41,413 and we can talk about it? 340 00:16:45,166 --> 00:16:47,092 I'm glad you're better, Dad, but... 341 00:16:47,276 --> 00:16:50,292 - I miss Debbie. - Oh, is that what this is about? 342 00:16:50,405 --> 00:16:51,503 Look, you're better off. 343 00:16:51,516 --> 00:16:53,901 In fact, I've got a hot friend I want to set you up with. 344 00:16:53,905 --> 00:16:55,403 I don't know, Dad. 345 00:16:55,486 --> 00:16:57,151 Come on. She's a cheerleader 346 00:16:57,218 --> 00:16:59,172 and a real one, not one of those fat jobs 347 00:16:59,178 --> 00:17:01,213 whose mother has to sue to get them on the team. 348 00:17:03,285 --> 00:17:05,733 Okay, so we'll split, the olive. you have the radish, 349 00:17:05,738 --> 00:17:09,213 I'll have some of that decorative parsley and we'll both suck on ice chips for dessert. 350 00:17:09,275 --> 00:17:12,883 Great. I'm going to walk past the stroganoff and sniff it a little. 351 00:17:13,988 --> 00:17:16,820 What'd I tell you, huh? Look at her. She's the picture of health. 352 00:17:21,296 --> 00:17:25,001 Thanks for letting me interview you for the Ann Rice Fan Club newsletter. 353 00:17:25,038 --> 00:17:27,593 Oh, no problem. How did you get my number again? 354 00:17:28,055 --> 00:17:29,572 Oh, from your high school principal. 355 00:17:29,635 --> 00:17:32,081 Yeah, huge Ann Rice fan. Total mo. 356 00:17:32,187 --> 00:17:34,942 Hi. Reservations for two under Roget. 357 00:17:34,946 --> 00:17:37,323 - We don't take reservations. - Excellent. 358 00:17:42,275 --> 00:17:45,210 Of all the buffets, Steve's at this one? 359 00:17:46,156 --> 00:17:48,132 Here we are, O lucky you. 360 00:17:48,138 --> 00:17:51,752 You got a perfect view of the busboy's station. Dinner and a show. 361 00:17:51,908 --> 00:17:52,960 Thank you, Sherry. 362 00:17:53,047 --> 00:17:54,770 - My name is Helen. - Excellent. 363 00:18:23,545 --> 00:18:25,253 What's happening?! 364 00:18:27,817 --> 00:18:29,462 He never cleaned his plate. 365 00:18:29,465 --> 00:18:31,192 He just moved the food! 366 00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:32,971 He...just... moved... 367 00:18:33,076 --> 00:18:34,211 the food! 368 00:18:34,368 --> 00:18:35,422 Why? 369 00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:36,822 Why?! 370 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,322 I like your face. 371 00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:46,323 Oh, I thought we were here so you could interview me. 372 00:18:46,328 --> 00:18:48,463 I am, I am. So question one: 373 00:18:48,515 --> 00:18:50,423 On a scale of zero to Lestat... 374 00:18:50,518 --> 00:18:52,131 - How cute am I? - What? 375 00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:56,141 Speaking of back rubs, you look like you could use a rub-a-dub-dub. 376 00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:59,581 It's okay. I'm a licensed chiropractor or something. 377 00:18:59,645 --> 00:19:01,330 Look, my boyfriend and I just broke up, 378 00:19:01,335 --> 00:19:04,542 but I'm still kinda holding out hope that we'll get back together. 379 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,241 Oh. 380 00:19:10,586 --> 00:19:12,592 You know, why don't we switch seats, huh? 381 00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:15,800 Chinese fire drill! Ah, we're having fun. 382 00:19:16,086 --> 00:19:20,300 Hmm? Oh, my God. That's my ex-boyfriend. 383 00:19:20,405 --> 00:19:22,463 I can't believe he's moved on. 384 00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,001 You know what would teach him a lesson? 385 00:19:24,085 --> 00:19:26,060 If he saw me and you making out. 386 00:19:26,116 --> 00:19:28,160 I don't know. He's not even looking. 387 00:19:28,195 --> 00:19:29,062 Excellent. 388 00:19:29,177 --> 00:19:30,551 Stan Smith! 389 00:19:30,686 --> 00:19:32,791 We found your food graveyard! 390 00:19:32,897 --> 00:19:33,430 Ooh! 391 00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:35,411 You haven't been getting better at all. 392 00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:36,361 What?! 393 00:19:36,447 --> 00:19:38,900 I broke up with Debbie 'cause I thought it would help you, 394 00:19:38,906 --> 00:19:40,453 and you weren't even trying?! 395 00:19:40,507 --> 00:19:43,090 Guys, I can explain. I was lying to you. 396 00:19:43,128 --> 00:19:45,430 Debbie was the best thing that ever happened to me. 397 00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:49,113 and you drove her away because of your stupid obsession with how people look. 398 00:19:49,115 --> 00:19:52,121 I had a real connection with someone for the first time in my life 399 00:19:52,177 --> 00:19:54,251 and all you cared about was her appearance! 400 00:19:54,355 --> 00:19:56,842 I don't care if she was fat or thin. 401 00:19:56,878 --> 00:20:00,422 She was sweet and beautiful and kind of freaky in a good way, 402 00:20:00,476 --> 00:20:03,630 and I'm going to check every buffet in town until I find her! 403 00:20:03,765 --> 00:20:06,431 - You don't have to, Steve. - Debbie! 404 00:20:06,557 --> 00:20:09,661 - You had me at lasagna. - I never said lasagna. 405 00:20:09,706 --> 00:20:11,492 Well, I was thinking about it. 406 00:20:13,048 --> 00:20:14,861 I like you so much, Steve. 407 00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:17,121 I love your chunky lips. 408 00:20:17,488 --> 00:20:19,511 No! 409 00:20:20,398 --> 00:20:23,502 Uh, hi. Still waiting for breadsticks. I asked, like, five times. 410 00:20:23,508 --> 00:20:25,192 I don't know if this is your station. 411 00:20:27,266 --> 00:20:28,343 They're so... 412 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:29,801 happy together. 413 00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:32,963 Steve's right. It's me that's been ugly... 414 00:20:33,277 --> 00:20:34,452 inside. 415 00:20:35,618 --> 00:20:37,151 And outside. 416 00:20:37,666 --> 00:20:38,863 Hand me those rolls. 417 00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:42,461 Don't do it, bro. You're a fatty. 418 00:20:42,698 --> 00:20:44,492 No! No! 419 00:20:45,016 --> 00:20:46,273 Bro! 420 00:20:46,476 --> 00:20:47,601 Bro! 421 00:20:47,865 --> 00:20:48,993 Bro... 422 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,252 Bro... 423 00:20:51,748 --> 00:20:55,243 Steve, whether you want to date a fatso, a girl with hairy arms 424 00:20:55,247 --> 00:20:57,220 or even one with Kirsten Dunst teeth, 425 00:20:57,455 --> 00:20:58,893 it doesn't matter to me. 426 00:20:58,916 --> 00:21:00,070 If you're happy... 427 00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,233 - I'm happy. - Thanks, Dad. 428 00:21:02,336 --> 00:21:04,463 It's good to have you back, Stan. 429 00:21:04,495 --> 00:21:06,033 It's good to be back. 430 00:21:06,296 --> 00:21:07,880 Hayley, are you wearing makeup? 431 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,270 You look like a whore. 432 00:21:09,998 --> 00:21:10,601 Subtitles by Fogia 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net