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American Dad!
"Lincoln Lover"
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www.forom.com
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Sub : Fogia
Transcript : Raceman
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My first meeting of the Langley
Conservative Republicans.
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Oh! I've dreamt of this day
for as long as I can remember
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you telling me I've dreamt
of this day.
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Plus tonight is very special.
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They're going to announce
who gets to speak
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at this year's Republican
National Convention.
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The buzz is your old man's
a shoo-in.
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Awesome, Dad!
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You're the most abortion-hating,
stem-cell-research-opposing,
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deficit-loving,
affirmative-action-despising,
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Bible-thumping
xenophobe I know.
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I've been waiting
my whole life for this.
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And I can't think of anyone else
I'd rather share it with.
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Stan!
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Stan, I'm ready to go.
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Stan?
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Didn't we already go
through a security check?
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Oh, they aren't checking
for weapons here.
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They're checking for something
far more dangerous--
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Gay.
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Gay?
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Some Republicans want to allow gays
to attend the convention this year.
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The Langley Conservatives are determined
to keep them out and the party pure.
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Luckily, there are ways
to identify them.
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You're typical homosexual male
will be in great shape,
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well-dressed, wearing sandals,
holding a brightly colored drink
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and listening to Celine Dion.
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- I own sandals.
- Yes, but you can't pull 'em off,
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and that's how you spot your
typical homosexual female.
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Check your fingernails for dirt.
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A gay would have
checked for dirt this way.
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What does ERA stand for?
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Earned Run Average?
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A gay would have said
"Equal Rights Amendment."
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Clang, clang, clang.
Went the trolley!
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No, I just like musicals!
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So then it's cool
to alienate gays?
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Yes, it is, son.
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Gays are the new blacks.
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Remember, Steve, these hellbound folk
have made a choice to be gay
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and they won't rest until
everyone else is gay with them.
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- How do they do that?
- They're insidious.
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It starts with them asking
to borrow a wrench
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and ends with you on a boat to Mykonos
wearing a pair of assless chaps.
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Welcome, Langley Conservatives.
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It's time to announce
who'll be speaking for us
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at the Republican National Convention.
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Throw this when
they announce my name.
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I couldn't find confetti,
so I shredded a few napkins.
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It shouldn't be so hard
to find confetti.
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Nancy Calliope.
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Thank you, Steve.
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Thank you for making
my shame more festive.
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Snubbed by the Langley Conservatives
after all I've done for them!
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I mean, I'm the guy who suggested
a separate drink fridge.
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There are two fridges
there now, Francine.
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One that's just for drinks.
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My cheeses from Lyon just arrived.
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See, I've organized them
from mildest to boldest.
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And in this direction
from youngest-
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Bonjour, mon petit Camembert--
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to most mature--
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St. Real de Martineaux--
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I am honored, sir.
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Now, I've bound these small
leather journal
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so we can record our impressions
as we go.
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Cheese makes me feel better.
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Can't have nice things!
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I know what will
cheer you up, honey.
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The community theater's putting
on a play about Abraham Lincoln.
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Ah, Abe Lincoln...
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the first Republican,
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pure and perfect.
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Clorox Bleach gets
your whites white!
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Test-drive the new
Lincoln Continental.
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The McRib...
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is back!
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Aren't we all just slaves?
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That was an abomination!
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Lincoln has been assassinated
in the theater twice.
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Wow, that's nice, Steve.
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The GOP has lost its way,
Francine,
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and as a proud member,
it's up to me...
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Really, Steve, very nice turn
of phrase back there.
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...to help us
get back to our roots
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for the future Republicans
of this country.
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Francine, wake up!
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What's wrong?!
Is one of the children dead?!
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I know how I'm going to show Steve
what it means to be a true Republican.
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By doing my own play
about Abraham Lincoln.
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I'm going to write the play
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from the point of view of one
of Lincoln's greatest admirers.
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Did you know Abe had
a personal bodyguard
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named Captain David Derickson?
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They traveled together,
shared secrets, hopes, dreams.
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See, I've set the play
during the winter of 1863.
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That's when Abe and David
really grew close.
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Hey, you two.
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Don't forget our ***** on the third.
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But, and we mean it,
don't bring a thing.
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Especially not a chilled bottle
of Clos du Bois chardonnay.
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You're so bad!
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Isn't that right, Heath Ledger?
Isn't Papi bad?
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Greg and Terry, handsome,
successful eligible bachelors.
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We really should set them up
with some nice women.
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- Hey, how about your sister?
- Uh...
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I don't think so, Stan.
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Yeah, you're right.
She's too hot.
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God, is Gwen hot!
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And slender. God!
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And that dress she wore
at our wedding?
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Oh, I have never seen her
more beautiful than on that day.
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It's 2:00 a.m.
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We're in Mr. Lincoln's bedroom.
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He's invited me, his bodyguard,
David Derickson, to sleep over...
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again.
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I'm sorry Mary Todd takes so many
long trips, Mr. Lincoln.
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Hmm?
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Okay...
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Abe.
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This log cabin will represent
the strong roots
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of the Republican Party
you founded, Mr. Lincoln.
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God, you have such muscles.
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I think "fourscore"
sounds better than "80."
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More...
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theatrical.
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I was his bodyguard
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and he was my everything.
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Let me take you home, Abe...
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one last time.
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- You're an inspiration!
- I love you!
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See, son? People are
desperate for a return
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to good old-fashioned
conservative values.
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Fantastic performance, Stan.
This is Brett and Jason.
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We're members of the
Log Cabin Republicans.
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Log Cabin?
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Our group is based on the founding
principles Abe Lincoln stood for.
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We're die-hard Republicans.
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With dyed-to-match shoes.
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I don't get it.
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Our group is speaking
at the RNC this year,
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and after seeing you as
Lincoln's "special friend,"
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well, we think you encapsulate
what we're all about.
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Would you consider
speaking on our behalf?
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Me? Speaking at the RNC?
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Why, it's a dream come true.
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Excellent. We're having a mixer
at our headquarters later tonight.
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You know, nothing fancy.
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We just threw it together
at the last minute.
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Mmm. Oh, my God.
What is this?
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A Cuervo Cosmo-tinian.
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I first had one on Fire Island.
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A whole island made of fire?
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How manly!
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So, Stan, what do you think
of our humble organization?
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Fantastic. Why didn't I know
about the Log Cabin Republicans before?
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There you are.
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Stan, I'd like you to
meet my partner, Tino.
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Partner?
What, are you guys, cops?
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Partners in a law firm?
Tennis partners,
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golf partners,
synchronized swimmers?
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You might say I'm Captain Derickson
to his Lincoln.
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Celine Dion!
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Gays!
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They're everywhere!
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I am a pilgrim
in an unholy land!
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Greg, act casual.
Get your stuff and meet my outside.
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- What? Why?
- There are gays here.
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- Uh, Stan, I'm gay.
- What?!
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Does Terry know?
Oh, poor, straight Terry!
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Terry's gay, too.
He's my boyfriend.
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I thought you knew. The Log Cabin
Republicans are a gay group!
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A gay group?!
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Oh, my God, you don't think...?
Look, I'm straight.
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I mean, yes, Francine's bat cave grosses
me out every now and then, but...
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We know you're not gay, Stan,
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but we've always
maintained Lincoln was.
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And the way you portrayed
him with his boyfriend...
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Wait. You got "gay"
from Lincoln Lover?
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You-you people
really grasp at straws.
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Look, this is ridiculous.
How can you be gay and Republican?
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Uh, these preconceived
notions about gay people.
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00:09:03,936 --> 00:09:06,372
It's time to dispel that stereotype...
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through a lavish musical number.
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Hit it, Joshua.
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It's impossible, you say,
to be Republican and gay
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But, baby, like Virginia Slims
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We've come a long, long way
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It once was thought
to be a fairy meant
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Voting for Bill or Kerry,
but not today
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We're red and we're gay
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Jeff and Paul
like hot pectorals
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And good old-fashioned
Christian morals. Hey-hey...
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Hey, hey
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We're red and we're gay
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00:09:48,866 --> 00:09:50,932
Our loafers are light
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But we still votefor the right.
It's true we can't wed,
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00:09:55,315 --> 00:09:58,251
but we support the Fed
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00:09:58,256 --> 00:10:02,290
We like each other's butts
and big ol' spending cuts
203
00:10:02,417 --> 00:10:05,072
We like to pack fudge and heat
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00:10:05,247 --> 00:10:09,333
Big long guns with ivory handles
go well with my scented candles,
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00:10:09,335 --> 00:10:12,281
yay, NRA ***
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00:10:13,296 --> 00:10:15,333
Let's take a spa day
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00:10:15,346 --> 00:10:17,430
Your skin looks so toned
208
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:21,580
Now spritz with fancy cologne.
These pants make you slim
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00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,721
U.S. defense we won't trim
210
00:10:24,765 --> 00:10:26,402
Have a pastry or two,
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00:10:26,628 --> 00:10:28,911
we'll get a trainer for you
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00:10:29,076 --> 00:10:31,253
Have you met hot Andrew?
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00:10:31,316 --> 00:10:34,323
Eva Longoria is a client
and a close personal friend.
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00:10:36,097 --> 00:10:38,143
Oh, it's fun to do things our way
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00:10:38,145 --> 00:10:41,722
Don't take our word
ask Ernie, Bert or Manet
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00:10:41,788 --> 00:10:44,742
We're red and we're gay,
we're red and we're gay
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00:10:44,776 --> 00:10:46,173
We're red and we're gay.
218
00:10:46,176 --> 00:10:48,713
We're red and we're gay.
219
00:10:48,787 --> 00:10:50,793
We're red and we're gay...
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00:10:51,256 --> 00:10:56,753
We're red and we're gay!
221
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:00,612
My God...
222
00:11:01,166 --> 00:11:03,850
Where did you get that confetti
223
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,450
But you told me we hate the gays.
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00:11:08,487 --> 00:11:11,383
That was A) before I knew they
came in Republican form,
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00:11:11,406 --> 00:11:13,820
and B) before they cut
and styled my hair.
226
00:11:13,915 --> 00:11:15,712
How can you associate with them?
227
00:11:15,788 --> 00:11:18,412
You said they're tearing apart
the fabric of this nation!
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00:11:18,538 --> 00:11:20,981
Steve, don't worry.
I'm just spending time with them
229
00:11:20,985 --> 00:11:22,783
because they're letting me speak
at the convention.
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00:11:22,787 --> 00:11:24,711
So they're not gonna
turn you gay?
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00:11:24,716 --> 00:11:26,282
Of course not, kiddo.
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00:11:26,348 --> 00:11:28,632
Now I don't want to be late for
my first Log Cabin meeting.
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00:11:28,727 --> 00:11:30,432
Bye-zies.
I mean...
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00:11:30,736 --> 00:11:31,621
Bye-zies.
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00:11:32,895 --> 00:11:38,482
And we can make our love
work together
236
00:11:39,035 --> 00:11:44,130
And we can make
our love work together...
237
00:11:44,206 --> 00:11:48,082
Wow, front row Clay Aiken.
This is the best meeting ever!
238
00:11:50,537 --> 00:11:53,800
Good night, guys. Oh, look
who stopped kissing. Have fun.
239
00:11:54,917 --> 00:11:56,071
- Greg?
- Terry.
240
00:11:56,087 --> 00:11:58,331
I-I thought you were
at bonsai topiary class.
241
00:11:58,346 --> 00:12:01,570
Heath Ledger has a head cold,
that's why he's in a sweater...
242
00:12:01,577 --> 00:12:04,813
You took a limo with Stan to do
a report on the new otters at the zoo?
243
00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:07,733
Otters? We're coming from our
gay Republican meeting.
244
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:09,830
You're a... Republican?
245
00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:11,973
- Honey, I can explain.
- Oh, you didn't know?
246
00:12:12,137 --> 00:12:13,681
Uh, that's, that's funny.
247
00:12:13,695 --> 00:12:16,223
Gay couples lie to each other
just like regular couples.
248
00:12:16,228 --> 00:12:17,262
Well, bye.
249
00:12:17,418 --> 00:12:19,663
All these years you've
been a Republican?
250
00:12:19,666 --> 00:12:21,863
Listen, calm down.
We'll go inside and...
251
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,151
I am not calming down!
For God's sake,
252
00:12:24,157 --> 00:12:26,750
Republicans are the people
who say we can't get married.
253
00:12:26,757 --> 00:12:30,392
And right now I want to send them a big
"thank you" basket from the Body Factory.
254
00:12:33,116 --> 00:12:36,712
Just three more days until
I get to speak at the RNC.
255
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:37,670
Sip.
256
00:12:39,387 --> 00:12:43,083
Oh, my God, what is this, and how can
I replace my blood with it?
257
00:12:43,148 --> 00:12:45,682
It's a Cuervo Cosmo-tinian.
258
00:12:45,925 --> 00:12:47,360
Roger, are you crying?
259
00:12:47,377 --> 00:12:50,301
Tears of joy, Stan,
tears of joy.
260
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:54,471
Stan, thank you for the beautiful roses
you left on my nightstand.
261
00:12:54,477 --> 00:12:57,340
Oh, no, honey, they're not for you.
Those are ambient roses.
262
00:12:57,347 --> 00:12:59,692
- They're a present for the bedroom.
- Oh...
263
00:12:59,816 --> 00:13:00,820
That was...
264
00:13:00,898 --> 00:13:02,180
nice of you.
265
00:13:02,186 --> 00:13:04,982
I don't know what you've done,
Stan, but kudos.
266
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,390
No notes for you.
267
00:13:07,218 --> 00:13:08,340
Hello, Dad.
268
00:13:08,347 --> 00:13:10,640
Wow, that's a nice
manicure you have.
269
00:13:10,658 --> 00:13:13,120
- Why thank you, Estaban.
- Aha!
270
00:13:13,128 --> 00:13:14,192
I knew it!
271
00:13:14,198 --> 00:13:17,061
The gays got to you
with their insidious ways.
272
00:13:17,098 --> 00:13:19,751
I'm not gay.
I'm just enjoying the lifestyle.
273
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:20,983
Now don't squint your eyes,
274
00:13:21,047 --> 00:13:22,972
- you'll get crow's-feet.
- There it is again!
275
00:13:23,037 --> 00:13:25,562
This has gone way beyond you
speaking at the convention.
276
00:13:25,637 --> 00:13:27,412
And I'm not going to let
them have you.
277
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,901
This isn't over.
278
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,731
Don't you tell me you voted
for he-who-shall-not-be-named.
279
00:13:32,738 --> 00:13:34,310
Look, the war was inevitable.
280
00:13:34,345 --> 00:13:36,842
- Freedom isn't free.
- Are you kidding me?!
281
00:13:39,597 --> 00:13:42,791
Hi, I'm here for the Log Cabin
Republican sunset cruise.
282
00:13:42,808 --> 00:13:44,203
Whoa, whoa, straight check.
283
00:13:44,236 --> 00:13:48,900
Who is the only person to win an Oscar,
an Emmy and a Tony in the same year?
284
00:13:49,008 --> 00:13:50,040
Uh...
285
00:13:50,567 --> 00:13:52,091
The guy from Monk?
286
00:13:55,795 --> 00:13:57,720
If you get on that boat
with those Republicans,
287
00:13:57,727 --> 00:13:59,610
then it's open season
while you're gone.
288
00:13:59,618 --> 00:14:00,532
Fine.
289
00:14:01,335 --> 00:14:03,780
Mary Martin, Cathy Rigby,
Sandy Duncan, Mary Lou Retton.
290
00:14:03,785 --> 00:14:06,712
Wow, all the Peter Pans,
and in order.
291
00:14:09,446 --> 00:14:11,303
Brett, Brett, tell this guy I'm okay.
292
00:14:11,307 --> 00:14:13,532
Tell him you can't have a
Log Cabin event without me.
293
00:14:13,536 --> 00:14:14,910
You're not invited, Stan.
294
00:14:15,037 --> 00:14:16,133
What? Why?
295
00:14:16,207 --> 00:14:19,011
Because your son stopped by the office
today and dropped off this.
296
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:23,160
So, it's me and hatemonger Pat
Robertson. I met him at some party.
297
00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,560
I was just walking through.
298
00:14:27,758 --> 00:14:29,802
It was just a momentary
lapse of judgment.
299
00:14:31,778 --> 00:14:32,773
My mind's a blank.
300
00:14:32,778 --> 00:14:34,883
Not only are you not
invited on the cruise,
301
00:14:34,886 --> 00:14:36,630
but you're clearly
not the kind of person
302
00:14:36,637 --> 00:14:38,373
we want speaking for
us at the convention.
303
00:14:38,438 --> 00:14:40,482
But I am. I've changed.
304
00:14:40,487 --> 00:14:42,282
You got to believe me.
305
00:14:48,627 --> 00:14:50,880
Well, Steve, they kicked me out.
306
00:14:50,988 --> 00:14:53,080
They're not letting me speak at the RNC.
307
00:14:53,117 --> 00:14:55,130
I saved your soul, Dad.
308
00:14:55,138 --> 00:14:58,312
You can thank me when we're ducking
hunting with Strom Thurmond in heaven.
309
00:14:58,437 --> 00:15:01,100
- You didn't belong with those people.
- You're right, son.
310
00:15:01,227 --> 00:15:03,452
I love their world,
but I'm not one of them.
311
00:15:03,678 --> 00:15:06,480
You can't live a gay lifestyle
without being gay.
312
00:15:06,498 --> 00:15:08,023
Of course you can't.
313
00:15:08,025 --> 00:15:10,861
Which is why I've decided
to have sex with a man.
314
00:15:14,717 --> 00:15:16,912
You want to have
sex with a man?
315
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,852
Francine, that's the fourth time
you've said that.
316
00:15:18,856 --> 00:15:20,161
What doesn't
make sense to you?
317
00:15:20,168 --> 00:15:22,392
We're married. I'm your wife.
318
00:15:22,397 --> 00:15:25,100
God, you can be so selfish.
I'm doing this for me.
319
00:15:25,146 --> 00:15:26,673
This can't be happening.
320
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:28,162
- Steve...
- Stay away from me.
321
00:15:28,168 --> 00:15:30,091
I don't want to catch your gay.
322
00:15:31,726 --> 00:15:34,413
It's very simple. If I become gay,
323
00:15:34,418 --> 00:15:37,220
the Log Cabin Republicans
will know I'm one of them.
324
00:15:37,288 --> 00:15:39,173
They'll let me speak
at the RNC.
325
00:15:39,377 --> 00:15:41,172
So I'm making this choice.
326
00:15:41,457 --> 00:15:44,862
- But where does that leave me?
- In the best position of all...
327
00:15:44,916 --> 00:15:47,561
with all the other women who can't
make it with a straight guy...
328
00:15:47,566 --> 00:15:48,822
The role of the "hag."
329
00:15:51,398 --> 00:15:54,073
Don't you want
to be my hag? Yes, you do.
330
00:15:54,547 --> 00:15:56,051
I'm not that great at songs yet,
331
00:15:56,058 --> 00:15:58,523
but once I poke a guy,
I'll be a regular Sondheim.
332
00:16:00,487 --> 00:16:02,843
Terry, I heard you tell Greg
that it's open season
333
00:16:02,848 --> 00:16:05,110
and you're the only gay guy
I know who's still in town
334
00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:06,692
so I was hoping I could
take you to dinner
335
00:16:06,696 --> 00:16:08,142
and, then afterwards,
have sex with you.
336
00:16:08,688 --> 00:16:11,681
If my terminology is
correct, I'm a power top.
337
00:16:11,765 --> 00:16:12,802
I'll get my jacket.
338
00:16:18,385 --> 00:16:20,291
You know, I did some
research on the Internet
339
00:16:20,297 --> 00:16:21,902
about the whole gay club scene.
340
00:16:21,978 --> 00:16:25,000
Unfortunately, I couldn't find
any crystallized methamphetamines,
341
00:16:25,008 --> 00:16:28,063
but maybe we can make do with some
Michelob Ultra and some diet pills.
342
00:16:28,107 --> 00:16:29,280
Uh, yeah...
343
00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:30,991
Why don't we just have
some wine instead.
344
00:16:30,996 --> 00:16:33,080
- That should break the ice.
- You're the professional.
345
00:16:47,625 --> 00:16:49,790
God, that was so tight.
346
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:51,592
That's what the kids say, right?
347
00:16:51,696 --> 00:16:52,820
Tight as in good?
348
00:16:52,898 --> 00:16:54,802
Your dancing was good,
it was tight.
349
00:16:55,196 --> 00:16:56,333
Glad you liked it.
350
00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:59,343
Well, I guess it's time to have sex.
351
00:16:59,746 --> 00:17:01,500
I have to admit, I'm a little nervous.
352
00:17:01,586 --> 00:17:03,442
Let's just start slow.
353
00:17:15,515 --> 00:17:16,300
Mmm...
354
00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:19,182
- What's wrong, Stan?
- It's weird.
355
00:17:19,208 --> 00:17:21,601
I don't feel anything.
You must not be doing it right.
356
00:17:22,006 --> 00:17:24,503
I've been doing it right
since J.V. football.
357
00:17:24,558 --> 00:17:25,653
I don't get this.
358
00:17:25,705 --> 00:17:27,913
I danced to Madonna,
I drank merlot,
359
00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:29,363
how come I don't feel anything?
360
00:17:29,456 --> 00:17:31,470
I hate to break it to you, Stan...
361
00:17:31,647 --> 00:17:34,090
- But I think you're straight.
- What did you call me?!
362
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,491
I'm gay, damn it.
This is my choice.
363
00:17:36,528 --> 00:17:39,122
I want to be gay.
I choose to be gay.
364
00:17:39,178 --> 00:17:41,820
Either you are or you're not.
It's not a choice.
365
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:42,382
It's...
366
00:17:42,818 --> 00:17:44,390
- It's not?
- No.
367
00:17:44,675 --> 00:17:46,403
Huh, I always thought it was.
368
00:17:46,836 --> 00:17:48,720
So why am I in bed with
you with my shirt off?
369
00:17:48,755 --> 00:17:50,433
Because Greg is a bastard.
370
00:17:51,807 --> 00:17:53,183
There, there.
371
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:55,220
Hey, I know what'll cheer you up.
372
00:17:55,266 --> 00:17:57,300
I have a perfectly
good hag in my kitchen.
373
00:17:57,305 --> 00:17:58,191
Want me to get her?
374
00:17:58,407 --> 00:17:59,522
That would be great.
375
00:18:03,956 --> 00:18:05,483
Good to have you back, Dad.
376
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,952
Apparently, this is where I belong.
377
00:18:07,957 --> 00:18:09,780
Damn right.
Here they come.
378
00:18:12,368 --> 00:18:14,981
Come on, let's keep
this convention pure.
379
00:18:15,087 --> 00:18:16,660
Just like you taught me.
380
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:24,712
What is the meaning of this?
We are invited guests of the RNC.
381
00:18:24,765 --> 00:18:27,101
You're invited guests of the devil.
382
00:18:28,428 --> 00:18:31,813
Stan, Nancy Calliope has been kicked
out of The Langley Conservatives.
383
00:18:31,816 --> 00:18:32,831
What? Why?
384
00:18:32,835 --> 00:18:34,840
We just found out her
second car is a Prius.
385
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,573
- Terrorist!
- Stan...
386
00:18:37,828 --> 00:18:39,631
Will you speak on our behalf?
387
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:43,861
And now, representing
the Langley Conservatives,
388
00:18:43,996 --> 00:18:45,161
Stan Smith.
389
00:18:53,445 --> 00:18:55,070
My fellow Republicans,
390
00:18:55,278 --> 00:18:57,801
last night I kissed a man named Terry.
391
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,081
Greg, you were on break
at the time.
392
00:19:01,085 --> 00:19:02,280
And I learned something...
393
00:19:02,338 --> 00:19:04,192
We're wrong about gays.
394
00:19:04,198 --> 00:19:05,471
I was wrong...
395
00:19:05,615 --> 00:19:07,540
and I taught my boy wrong.
396
00:19:08,546 --> 00:19:11,443
It turns out that being gay
is not a choice.
397
00:19:12,956 --> 00:19:15,880
It's true. Believe me, I tried,
and it didn't work.
398
00:19:17,817 --> 00:19:21,223
The Log Cabin delegates trying to get
in tonight didn't choose to be gay,
399
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:23,520
but they did choose
to be Republicans.
400
00:19:23,525 --> 00:19:25,780
Even though, as Republicans,
we used bashing them
401
00:19:25,785 --> 00:19:27,923
as the backbone of our last
presidential election,
402
00:19:27,926 --> 00:19:29,503
they're still sticking with us.
403
00:19:29,557 --> 00:19:33,320
By God, these people love America
as much as they love brunch.
404
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:35,263
You know what else is a choice?
405
00:19:35,366 --> 00:19:36,860
Being a Democrat.
406
00:19:38,416 --> 00:19:40,263
Democrats weren't born Democrats.
407
00:19:40,265 --> 00:19:41,970
They chose to be Democrats.
408
00:19:42,135 --> 00:19:43,762
I'm not telling you to stop hating.
409
00:19:43,788 --> 00:19:46,383
I just want you to hate
where hate deserves.
410
00:19:46,465 --> 00:19:49,591
Hating gays is hate we could be
using on the Democrats.
411
00:19:52,416 --> 00:19:54,490
We shouldn't discriminate
against gays.
412
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,712
We should get more of them
to be Republicans.
413
00:19:56,936 --> 00:19:59,981
They're supporting the economy
by buying high-end appliances
414
00:19:59,988 --> 00:20:00,982
and teacup poodles.
415
00:20:01,135 --> 00:20:04,990
Do you want manufacturers of super-tight
T-shirts to go out of business?
416
00:20:05,128 --> 00:20:06,542
No!
417
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:09,973
Would you forsake Socrates,
Plato and Grandpa Walton?
418
00:20:10,007 --> 00:20:11,623
No!
419
00:20:11,656 --> 00:20:13,052
There's room for everyone.
420
00:20:13,058 --> 00:20:14,881
We all belong in the GOP.
421
00:20:14,935 --> 00:20:16,631
So come on, David Geffen,
422
00:20:16,685 --> 00:20:18,311
get on board Nathan Lane,
423
00:20:18,315 --> 00:20:19,551
come on, Johnny Depp...
424
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:22,810
Really? You would have thought
with the tiny glasses.
425
00:20:23,048 --> 00:20:24,711
So come on, L.A. Sparks,
426
00:20:24,896 --> 00:20:27,460
come on half the population
of Palm Springs.
427
00:20:27,537 --> 00:20:30,251
Oh, who are we kidding, come on
all of Palm Springs.
428
00:20:30,436 --> 00:20:32,950
Come on, Anne Heche, you
confused son of a bitch.
429
00:20:33,105 --> 00:20:34,393
Come under the big tent.
430
00:20:34,476 --> 00:20:37,191
The Grand Ol' Party
just got grander.
431
00:20:40,247 --> 00:20:43,312
In the words of the Founding
Father of the Republican party,
432
00:20:43,327 --> 00:20:44,413
Abraham Lincoln,
433
00:20:44,466 --> 00:20:47,332
"A house divided against itself
cannot stand."
434
00:20:47,765 --> 00:20:49,211
And that house, my friends,
435
00:20:49,345 --> 00:20:51,910
will be resurfaced
with an aged-lime wash
436
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:53,611
and flipped for a profit.
437
00:20:59,688 --> 00:21:00,553
Dad!
438
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:04,923
This doesn't make me
gay, does it, Dad?
439
00:21:05,226 --> 00:21:07,052
Only if you get a boner, son.
440
00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:09,213
Only if you get a boner.
441
00:21:09,347 --> 00:21:10,052
Sub : Fogia
Transcript : Raceman
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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