1 00:00:02,139 --> 00:00:05,679 American Dad! The Best Christmas Story Never 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:09,154 www.forom.com 3 00:00:24,132 --> 00:00:28,779 Synchronisation : Kemar, Fogia Transcript : Raceman 4 00:00:33,114 --> 00:00:35,788 Ah, the lighting of the town Christmas tree. 5 00:00:35,789 --> 00:00:37,834 Can you think of anything more American? 6 00:00:37,835 --> 00:00:39,659 - An American flag? - Or... 7 00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:42,932 Or, an American flag with Christmas trees for stars. 8 00:00:42,933 --> 00:00:44,474 Ooh, that would make a good cake. 9 00:00:44,475 --> 00:00:46,571 Note to self : I like cake. 10 00:00:46,576 --> 00:00:50,150 Well, isn't that cute. Roger's making a snow angel. 11 00:00:50,154 --> 00:00:52,392 A facedown snow angel... 12 00:00:52,392 --> 00:00:55,171 in a pile of angel vomit. 13 00:00:55,173 --> 00:00:57,727 He's passed out, Mom. He's been binge drinking since Thanksgiving. 14 00:00:57,729 --> 00:00:59,760 Get up, Roger. What the hell's wrong with you? 15 00:00:59,765 --> 00:01:04,883 Another year on this planet I have... I haven't accomplished squat. 16 00:01:05,045 --> 00:01:07,231 Can't even drink myself to death. 17 00:01:07,265 --> 00:01:11,062 Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. You've only been here four years. 18 00:01:11,068 --> 00:01:13,921 - Try 60. - You've been here 60 years? 19 00:01:13,928 --> 00:01:17,971 Yeah, I crashed in Roswell in '47. Thanks for finally asking. 20 00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:21,402 Six decades of dragging my ass around this blue marble 21 00:01:21,407 --> 00:01:23,003 and what do I have to show for it? 22 00:01:23,005 --> 00:01:23,993 Nothing! 23 00:01:23,997 --> 00:01:27,141 Laugh it up, Ma. You were right, I'm a loser. 24 00:01:28,025 --> 00:01:29,901 Don't judge me, fatty. 25 00:01:30,165 --> 00:01:31,923 Damn it, Roger, get a hold of yourself. 26 00:01:31,928 --> 00:01:33,640 You're not going to spoil my Christmas. 27 00:01:33,668 --> 00:01:37,170 Can I have everyone's attention? I've just been handed this injunction. 28 00:01:37,188 --> 00:01:39,142 Which means we have to cancel this function. 29 00:01:39,146 --> 00:01:42,022 - You're rhyming again. - I know. I hear it. I'm trying not to. 30 00:01:42,027 --> 00:01:44,501 It says here that the square is public land 31 00:01:44,507 --> 00:01:48,410 and therefore isn't an appropriate place for religious icons. 32 00:01:54,926 --> 00:01:55,640 What?! 33 00:01:55,648 --> 00:01:58,151 We're going to let the secularist non-believers 34 00:01:58,155 --> 00:02:00,571 dictate how we celebrate Jesus' birthday?! 35 00:02:00,576 --> 00:02:03,733 Actually, I kinda see their point. I mean, if you're not Christian, 36 00:02:03,735 --> 00:02:06,293 all this Christmas stuff might make you feel a little uncomfortable. 37 00:02:06,295 --> 00:02:08,113 Oh, I cannot wait for the Rapture. 38 00:02:08,115 --> 00:02:09,432 You're going to be left behind, 39 00:02:09,487 --> 00:02:10,721 you're going to be left behind, 40 00:02:10,728 --> 00:02:12,650 you're going to be left behind, you're going... 41 00:02:12,657 --> 00:02:15,152 Stan. Post-Rapture, 42 00:02:15,156 --> 00:02:17,190 feel free to use our pool. 43 00:02:17,377 --> 00:02:19,643 You know, if it isn't boiling. 44 00:02:19,646 --> 00:02:22,653 Francine, I'm going to completely lose my Christmas cheer, 45 00:02:22,655 --> 00:02:25,540 if I don't get some place where they understand this holiday pronto. 46 00:02:25,628 --> 00:02:27,061 We can stop by church. 47 00:02:27,066 --> 00:02:28,740 I don't need to be bored, Francine. 48 00:02:28,745 --> 00:02:31,191 I need to be reminded of what Christmas is all about. 49 00:02:31,575 --> 00:02:32,840 To the shopping mall. 50 00:02:35,118 --> 00:02:36,633 Ah, this is more like it. 51 00:02:36,637 --> 00:02:40,391 Two teenagers sitting on an old man's lap as a midget snaps a picture. 52 00:02:40,395 --> 00:02:43,180 If that doesn't commemorate our Savior's birth, I don't know what does. 53 00:02:43,238 --> 00:02:46,483 This year Santa smelled like whiskey, and the midget smelled like pot. 54 00:02:46,485 --> 00:02:48,543 I know. When did they change it up? 55 00:02:48,548 --> 00:02:50,911 Stan, did your remember to get a gift for Roger? 56 00:02:50,915 --> 00:02:52,953 Roger? He's not a Christian. 57 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:57,151 You think he cares that 2,000 years ago our Lord and Savior was born in a mangler? 58 00:02:57,156 --> 00:02:59,030 Uh, I think you mean "manger." 59 00:02:59,036 --> 00:03:00,873 No, no, honey, you're thinking of "manager." 60 00:03:00,878 --> 00:03:03,182 Just get him something, Dad. He's so depressed. 61 00:03:03,425 --> 00:03:04,321 Fine. 62 00:03:06,957 --> 00:03:09,533 - One of your items, please. - How about this cassette? 63 00:03:11,288 --> 00:03:14,222 - Is it 99 cents? - It's $1.07 with tax. 64 00:03:14,326 --> 00:03:17,112 - You ever think about changing the sign? - It's not really up to me. 65 00:03:17,628 --> 00:03:19,073 Well, Merry Christmas. 66 00:03:19,126 --> 00:03:20,360 Happy holidays. 67 00:03:21,126 --> 00:03:24,041 I, uh, said Merry Christmas. 68 00:03:24,075 --> 00:03:26,293 - Happy holidays. - Just say Merry Christmas. 69 00:03:26,296 --> 00:03:28,141 Management doesn't want us saying that. 70 00:03:28,146 --> 00:03:29,120 Just say it! 71 00:03:31,596 --> 00:03:33,013 Uh, I had a gun. 72 00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:35,331 Happy holidays. 73 00:03:39,268 --> 00:03:40,990 I used to love Christmas. 74 00:03:41,027 --> 00:03:44,681 But now the Liberals have decided that Christmas is offensive. 75 00:03:44,785 --> 00:03:46,873 Someone's feelings could get hurt. 76 00:03:46,907 --> 00:03:48,451 You know who's to blame for this? 77 00:03:48,536 --> 00:03:49,433 Well, do you? 78 00:03:49,517 --> 00:03:52,350 - Jane Fonda. - Jane Fonda. 79 00:03:52,508 --> 00:03:54,982 Today's Liberals are yesterday's hippies. 80 00:03:55,005 --> 00:03:58,791 And those hippies would have worn themselves out dancing in the mud, but no, 81 00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:01,243 she had to revitalize their dying movement 82 00:04:01,248 --> 00:04:03,672 by going to North Vietnam and humanizing the enemy. 83 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,633 I'm Hanoi Jane. Don't kill Communists. 84 00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,083 Look at my boobies. 85 00:04:08,158 --> 00:04:10,083 That was the beginning of the end. 86 00:04:11,558 --> 00:04:14,602 Oh, here we go, Stan. Christmas carolers. 87 00:04:14,866 --> 00:04:18,541 - Welcome ye gentle carolers. - Oh, we're not here to sing. 88 00:04:18,597 --> 00:04:21,433 We're just here to warn people about the Holiday Rapist. 89 00:04:21,487 --> 00:04:22,980 You mean the Christmas Rapist. 90 00:04:23,027 --> 00:04:25,293 The guy who strikes every year on Christmas. 91 00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,561 Yeah, they've asked us to call him the Holiday Rapist. 92 00:04:27,598 --> 00:04:29,403 No, he's the Christmas Rapist. 93 00:04:29,408 --> 00:04:32,003 He rapes on Christmas. Is nothing sacred? 94 00:04:33,235 --> 00:04:34,730 Christmas is dead. 95 00:04:35,095 --> 00:04:36,430 What are you doing?! 96 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:40,611 If I can't say it, I'm not going to celebrate it. 97 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:43,890 Daddy's breaking all the presents Chinese kids made for me. 98 00:04:45,977 --> 00:04:49,661 Stan Smith, is this your idea of a good Christmas? 99 00:04:49,717 --> 00:04:53,272 Destroying your children's presents and terrifying Roger? 100 00:04:53,897 --> 00:04:55,261 Is it over? 101 00:04:55,598 --> 00:04:58,323 If anyone's ruined Christmas, it's you. 102 00:04:58,435 --> 00:05:01,572 And you can think about that while you're sleeping on the couch. 103 00:05:01,577 --> 00:05:03,821 On the couch? But the window's broken, 104 00:05:03,848 --> 00:05:05,542 and the Christmas Rapist is on the loose. 105 00:05:05,595 --> 00:05:07,043 Holiday Rapist. 106 00:05:13,288 --> 00:05:16,270 Arise and awaken, Stan Smith. 107 00:05:16,408 --> 00:05:17,663 Holiday Rapist! 108 00:05:17,978 --> 00:05:19,341 I mean Christmas Rapist! 109 00:05:19,368 --> 00:05:22,460 I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. 110 00:05:22,465 --> 00:05:24,313 Why... why are you here? 111 00:05:24,347 --> 00:05:27,922 Because you've forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. 112 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:29,782 Take my sleeve, Stan. 113 00:05:33,348 --> 00:05:34,960 This is where I grew up. 114 00:05:35,017 --> 00:05:36,122 Yes, Stan. 115 00:05:38,908 --> 00:05:41,143 And that happy little boy is you. 116 00:05:41,616 --> 00:05:44,240 'Tis Christmas morn, 1970. 117 00:05:44,475 --> 00:05:46,720 President Nixon is in the White House, 118 00:05:46,878 --> 00:05:50,641 The Partridge Family top-eth the charts with "I think I Love You" ****** 119 00:05:50,858 --> 00:05:54,371 and Jane Fonda is filming her Oscar-winning role in Klute. 120 00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:58,992 Ah, look at you... Basking in the love of your family. 121 00:05:58,995 --> 00:06:02,421 You knew what Christmas was about back then, didn't you, Stan? 122 00:06:03,078 --> 00:06:04,273 Stan? 123 00:06:04,988 --> 00:06:07,540 What? Hey, no, no, no. Dude, where you going? 124 00:06:07,545 --> 00:06:09,142 You can't run away. 125 00:06:09,487 --> 00:06:12,922 Great. My first gig as Christmas Past and I tank it. 126 00:06:12,925 --> 00:06:16,330 Couldn't be happy with just being the Tooth Fairy. No, no, it's too steady. 127 00:06:16,337 --> 00:06:18,011 Live risky, reach for the stars. 128 00:06:18,017 --> 00:06:21,541 Well, that's not stardust on your hands, Michelle, it's failure, 129 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,110 and it don't wash off. 130 00:06:23,167 --> 00:06:24,940 Should have just married Chad. 131 00:06:24,946 --> 00:06:27,850 There's only one way to save Christmas. 132 00:06:28,066 --> 00:06:30,513 Kill Jane Fonda. 133 00:06:40,865 --> 00:06:42,280 Gotcha. 134 00:06:42,348 --> 00:06:44,572 Hey suit guy, totally nude nudes. 135 00:06:44,588 --> 00:06:47,300 No time, friend. I've got to kill Jane Fonda 136 00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:50,121 before she goes to Vietnam and ruins Christmas. 137 00:06:54,767 --> 00:06:57,312 All right, Miss Fonda... 138 00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:58,660 action. 139 00:07:02,398 --> 00:07:04,032 - Gross. - Cut. 140 00:07:04,086 --> 00:07:06,503 Beautiful, Jane. That fork thing... 141 00:07:06,505 --> 00:07:08,182 - genius. - Thanks. 142 00:07:08,187 --> 00:07:10,890 I figured, hey, share the experience. 143 00:07:10,895 --> 00:07:12,920 Remove any notion of ownership. I mean... 144 00:07:12,924 --> 00:07:16,853 - who's really the pet here, right? - Oh, you are so dead. 145 00:07:23,122 --> 00:07:25,711 - What the hell?! - You have to help me. 146 00:07:25,803 --> 00:07:27,377 I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past 147 00:07:27,379 --> 00:07:30,480 and I took your husband back to 1970 and he bolted on me. 148 00:07:30,488 --> 00:07:32,912 You lost my husband in the past? 149 00:07:32,916 --> 00:07:36,953 Look, if a mom takes a kid to the mall and loses the kid, do you blame the mom? 150 00:07:37,885 --> 00:07:39,843 No, no, you don't, no. 151 00:07:39,846 --> 00:07:43,003 - Anyway, can you help me find him? - I don't understand. 152 00:07:43,006 --> 00:07:44,693 Why would Stan run away? 153 00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:48,191 Beats me. One minute I'm talking about President Nixon and Jane Fonda, 154 00:07:48,196 --> 00:07:49,690 the next minute he's gone. 155 00:07:51,266 --> 00:07:54,702 I think I know where he went. Be right with you. 156 00:07:56,536 --> 00:07:58,540 Um, we're kind of in a hurry. 157 00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:02,291 I'm not going back to that filthy decade without some Purell. 158 00:08:07,505 --> 00:08:10,023 Come on, Don, I'm just an actress. 159 00:08:10,025 --> 00:08:13,363 Jane, you have the power to be so much more than that. 160 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,073 Donald Sutherland. 161 00:08:15,145 --> 00:08:17,443 You're destined to be a great woman. 162 00:08:17,448 --> 00:08:20,163 You know, you should get involved in politics. 163 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:23,132 - I don't know. - Let's talk about this later 164 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:26,280 over drinks? Maybe at my place? 165 00:08:26,675 --> 00:08:28,291 I got it all wrong. 166 00:08:28,295 --> 00:08:31,983 Sutherland pushed her into politics. He's the one I have to kill. 167 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,221 - What did you say? - Um... 168 00:08:34,227 --> 00:08:36,920 Are you here to give Jane her massage? 169 00:08:36,927 --> 00:08:39,160 Yes. Yes, that seems pretty fun. 170 00:08:40,908 --> 00:08:44,612 All right, Miss Fonda, lie down. You can finish that cat food later. 171 00:08:50,845 --> 00:08:52,142 You on the list? 172 00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:54,710 Uh, yeah, Jack Nichol... Oh, I always mix them up. 173 00:08:54,716 --> 00:08:56,941 Not the golfer, the guy in About Schmidt. 174 00:08:56,947 --> 00:09:00,373 You know, he was the one in the hot tub with the big lady from Delores Claiborne. 175 00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:02,103 Kathy Bates. I am Kathy Bates. 176 00:09:02,107 --> 00:09:03,351 Back of the line. 177 00:09:13,006 --> 00:09:14,440 Ooh, cold, cold. 178 00:09:14,446 --> 00:09:15,901 But flattering. 179 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,611 So did you get that part on Ryan's Hope? 180 00:09:32,617 --> 00:09:34,071 No, they really liked me, 181 00:09:34,086 --> 00:09:37,352 but they're going with someone a little more flesh-colored with a nose. 182 00:09:37,358 --> 00:09:38,730 Give it up, loser. 183 00:09:39,527 --> 00:09:41,341 I'm not a loser! 184 00:09:45,696 --> 00:09:47,840 Disco's Greatest Hits. 185 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:52,043 Best songs from 1974 to 1980? 186 00:09:52,427 --> 00:09:55,691 This tape is from the future. But that's impossible. 187 00:09:55,698 --> 00:09:58,491 On the other hand, I'm a spaceman working at Elaine's 188 00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:00,501 so maybe I should open my mind a bit. 189 00:10:03,418 --> 00:10:05,180 Have you seen Donald Sutherland? 190 00:10:05,448 --> 00:10:08,050 You might want to check between Fay Dunaway's legs. 191 00:10:08,057 --> 00:10:09,080 Hold it now. 192 00:10:09,088 --> 00:10:11,402 That smells like a marijuana cigarette. 193 00:10:11,405 --> 00:10:13,971 It makes me high like one, too. Maybe that's what it is. 194 00:10:14,638 --> 00:10:16,800 What's your name, funny guy? 195 00:10:16,836 --> 00:10:18,643 Marty, Marty Scorsese. 196 00:10:18,648 --> 00:10:20,883 Martin Scorsese? Wow. 197 00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:23,190 Oh, you're amazing. I love your work. 198 00:10:23,195 --> 00:10:25,962 You saw my six minute film about a guy shaving? 199 00:10:26,607 --> 00:10:30,003 Let's just say the world has yet to recognize your genius. 200 00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,860 But you're never going to win an Oscar hopped up on the dope. 201 00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:34,952 You know what, man, you're right. 202 00:10:41,325 --> 00:10:44,190 I'm proud of you. Come on, bring it in. 203 00:10:45,516 --> 00:10:47,251 Your eyebrows tickle. 204 00:10:50,807 --> 00:10:53,862 Oh, okay, like you've never overshot a freeway exit. 205 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,751 Oh, look how cute. 206 00:11:04,445 --> 00:11:07,673 You know, you should get involved in politics. 207 00:11:07,787 --> 00:11:11,642 Let's talk about it over drinks. Maybe at my place? 208 00:11:12,267 --> 00:11:14,383 Let's talk about it over your brains. 209 00:11:14,386 --> 00:11:16,010 Maybe all over the place? 210 00:11:16,506 --> 00:11:17,782 Delightful. 211 00:11:21,196 --> 00:11:23,570 Stan, you can't kill Jane Fonda. 212 00:11:23,577 --> 00:11:25,831 Don't worry, Sutherland's my new target. 213 00:11:25,836 --> 00:11:29,122 That lanky Canadian, Keifer-spawning bastard's going down. 214 00:11:29,128 --> 00:11:31,120 No, anything you do here in the past 215 00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,512 could have drastic consequences in the future. 216 00:11:33,525 --> 00:11:37,271 Well, too bad. I'm here to save Christmas and you can't stop me. 217 00:11:37,278 --> 00:11:39,141 Wrong. We're going home. 218 00:11:39,147 --> 00:11:40,690 Oh, man! 219 00:11:42,537 --> 00:11:44,870 What the hell happened to our house? 220 00:11:44,877 --> 00:11:46,900 Hey, I didn't screw up, okay? 221 00:11:46,908 --> 00:11:49,292 This is the right year and we're in the right place. 222 00:11:49,298 --> 00:11:51,373 But everything's different. 223 00:11:51,376 --> 00:11:53,581 Steve, Hayley? 224 00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:57,321 Run! 225 00:12:02,916 --> 00:12:04,693 - What the...? - Look out! 226 00:12:06,857 --> 00:12:09,421 What a Soviet tank doing in America? 227 00:12:09,426 --> 00:12:11,100 I'll tell you what it's doing here. 228 00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:14,082 You changed something in the past that affected the future. 229 00:12:14,087 --> 00:12:17,751 Stan Smith, you destroyed America. 230 00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,271 Francine! 231 00:12:21,278 --> 00:12:23,791 What, I've had to pee since the '70s. 232 00:12:29,255 --> 00:12:31,820 How could I have destroyed America? 233 00:12:31,826 --> 00:12:33,421 I don't know if I'd said this yet, 234 00:12:33,427 --> 00:12:37,373 but when something in the past gets changed, it affects the future! 235 00:12:37,378 --> 00:12:40,591 Think, Stan, what did you do when you were back in 1970? 236 00:12:40,647 --> 00:12:44,471 Nothing. I went to the set of Klute, I gave Jane Fonda a massage... 237 00:12:44,477 --> 00:12:46,722 - What?! - Honey, it was 1970. 238 00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:50,071 - It was before I knew you. - Oh, right. Sorry. 239 00:12:50,078 --> 00:12:52,523 Uh! No, it wasn't any of that, no. 240 00:12:52,528 --> 00:12:56,210 Uh, I met Martin Scorcese, got him off drugs. 241 00:12:57,835 --> 00:13:01,293 Getting Scorcese of drugs means he never did all the cocaine 242 00:13:01,295 --> 00:13:03,402 that fueled him to make Taxi Driver, 243 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,940 which means he never cast Jody Foster, 244 00:13:05,947 --> 00:13:08,842 which means John Hinckley never obsessed over her 245 00:13:08,846 --> 00:13:12,651 and he never tried to impress her by shooting President Reagan. 246 00:13:12,657 --> 00:13:17,113 Which means Reagan was never empowered by surviving an assassination attempt. 247 00:13:17,116 --> 00:13:19,611 He must have lost to Mondale in '84. 248 00:13:19,615 --> 00:13:20,540 Bingo. 249 00:13:20,548 --> 00:13:24,131 47 days into his presidency, Mondale handed complete control 250 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:28,462 - of the U.S. over to the Soviet Union. - I guess that explains the statue. 251 00:13:30,118 --> 00:13:33,491 - Stan, we have to make this right. - I'm way ahead of you. 252 00:13:33,495 --> 00:13:35,841 There's only one way to save America. 253 00:13:35,845 --> 00:13:39,322 I have to go back in time and make Taxi Driver. 254 00:13:39,328 --> 00:13:42,331 - What?! Stan, that's crazy. - No, he's right. 255 00:13:42,336 --> 00:13:44,660 If that movie doesn't get made in 1974, 256 00:13:44,668 --> 00:13:46,871 you'll end up commies and I'll be out of a job. 257 00:13:46,877 --> 00:13:48,802 Let's go! Hyah! Hyah! 258 00:13:48,806 --> 00:13:52,151 - Time-travel me! - Yeah, that's not how it works. 259 00:13:55,498 --> 00:13:58,850 Okay, no more slip-ups. We're just here to make a movie. 260 00:13:58,858 --> 00:14:02,711 Let's try not to leave our dirty fingerprints all over 1974. 261 00:14:16,206 --> 00:14:19,250 Mr. Epstein, Clive Davis is here to see you. 262 00:14:28,225 --> 00:14:31,451 - What do you think, Clive? - Fun...ky! 263 00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:34,692 This is going to be even bigger than the six other hits you've given me. 264 00:14:34,695 --> 00:14:38,072 You've single-handedly created the disco revolution. 265 00:14:38,076 --> 00:14:40,962 - It's what I do, baby. - I mean, it's uncanny. 266 00:14:40,977 --> 00:14:44,540 It's like you've reached into the future to bring back hit after hit. 267 00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:49,451 Congratulations, you just made your first million. 268 00:14:55,448 --> 00:14:58,540 I'm a winner, Ma! Look at me now! 269 00:14:59,276 --> 00:15:01,303 Now don't look for a second. 270 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,111 You can look again, Ma! 271 00:15:12,188 --> 00:15:13,733 You talkin' to me? 272 00:15:13,817 --> 00:15:15,733 You talkin' to me? 273 00:15:15,737 --> 00:15:16,810 Cut! 274 00:15:17,518 --> 00:15:21,281 - Come on, man. What's wrong now? - Why were you talking to the mirror? 275 00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:25,471 Because Travis is such a loner, he's desperate for any interaction, 276 00:15:25,475 --> 00:15:28,151 even if it's just with his own reflection. 277 00:15:28,155 --> 00:15:29,972 Didn't look like you were talking to your reflection. 278 00:15:29,977 --> 00:15:31,562 It looked like you were talking to the mirror. 279 00:15:31,568 --> 00:15:34,483 Like I was having a conversation with the actual mirror? 280 00:15:34,488 --> 00:15:36,951 - Yeah. - Not the person in the mirror? 281 00:15:36,955 --> 00:15:39,223 No. Now let's do it again. And this time... 282 00:15:39,226 --> 00:15:40,873 You're an idiot. I quit. 283 00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:44,570 Stan, you can't let him quit. The movie's got to be the same. 284 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:48,061 No, it doesn't. Jody Foster's the one Hinckley falls for, right? 285 00:15:48,066 --> 00:15:50,473 So Robert DeZero wants to quit? Fine. 286 00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:53,490 Now I can make this movie with the actor I wanted from the start. 287 00:15:58,997 --> 00:16:00,952 Okay, that's Hinckley. 288 00:16:11,598 --> 00:16:13,590 Howdy, pilgrim. 289 00:16:22,408 --> 00:16:24,620 Let's go home, Iris. 290 00:16:33,755 --> 00:16:37,470 La lengua de la cinema es universal. 291 00:16:38,158 --> 00:16:41,473 Hey, excuse me. How did you like the movie? 292 00:16:41,816 --> 00:16:45,432 But how about that Jody Foster? Pretty hot, huh? 293 00:16:45,436 --> 00:16:49,762 I bet you have to do something really special to impress a girl like that. 294 00:16:49,778 --> 00:16:52,332 That's disgusting. She's 12! 295 00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:55,091 Yeah, a hard 12! 296 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,863 Grass on the field! Go shoot the President! 297 00:16:57,865 --> 00:17:00,750 Well, that's it. Hinckley hated it. We failed. 298 00:17:00,756 --> 00:17:03,731 Good-bye, America. Good-bye, Christmas. 299 00:17:03,737 --> 00:17:06,030 Wait, no. No, no, no, no, good-bye Christmas. 300 00:17:06,035 --> 00:17:08,553 I can't go back to the Tooth Fairy Guild. 301 00:17:08,755 --> 00:17:12,930 I burned that bridge when I left a little going-away present on my bosses' desk... 302 00:17:12,935 --> 00:17:15,763 Did you know DNA is in poo? 'Cause I sure didn't. 303 00:17:15,967 --> 00:17:18,203 Come on. Come on. We can still fix this. 304 00:17:21,198 --> 00:17:23,332 - Where are we? - Washington, D.C., 305 00:17:23,337 --> 00:17:26,991 - March 30th, 1981. - Hey, that's the Secret Service. 306 00:17:27,318 --> 00:17:31,033 - President Reagan's inside. - Reagan? He's my hero. 307 00:17:31,037 --> 00:17:34,382 Wait. This is the Hilton. This is where Hinckley shot Reagan. 308 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:38,280 Yeah, this is where Hinckley used to shoot Reagan, but not anymore, remember? 309 00:17:38,288 --> 00:17:41,741 Listen, Stan, I know you love Reagan, but you screwed things up. 310 00:17:41,747 --> 00:17:45,153 You have to make them right. You have to shoot the President. 311 00:17:48,847 --> 00:17:52,650 - Great record-release party, Roger. - The greatest, baby. 312 00:17:54,037 --> 00:17:55,882 We did it! 313 00:17:56,435 --> 00:17:57,513 Hello? 314 00:17:57,715 --> 00:17:59,590 Larry! 315 00:17:59,597 --> 00:18:01,763 Hey, hold on. I'm going to put you on speaker. 316 00:18:01,768 --> 00:18:04,830 - Everyone, it's Larry. - Larry! 317 00:18:04,838 --> 00:18:07,323 Hear that? They love you, Lar, and so do I. 318 00:18:07,327 --> 00:18:09,931 - How'd the record do? - Take me off speaker, Roger. 319 00:18:09,935 --> 00:18:12,753 No, these are my friends. How many albums did we sell? 320 00:18:12,755 --> 00:18:16,123 - Give me the number, you crazy Jew. - Uh, 90. 321 00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:18,050 90 million! 322 00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:20,583 No, 90. 90 records. 323 00:18:20,586 --> 00:18:22,901 Disco's dead, you're broke. 324 00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:26,253 What the hell are you talking about, Larry? 325 00:18:27,028 --> 00:18:29,681 Hey, hey, don't leave. The party's not over. 326 00:18:29,765 --> 00:18:31,492 What about my investments? 327 00:18:31,507 --> 00:18:33,282 What about all my racehorses? 328 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:35,712 I thought you were feeding them. 329 00:18:36,107 --> 00:18:38,263 My God, I'm ruined! 330 00:18:38,266 --> 00:18:40,412 Ruined! 331 00:18:46,096 --> 00:18:50,102 There's no way I'm shooting Reagan, so we might as well start learning Russian. 332 00:18:50,107 --> 00:18:52,733 I wonder how you say, "Hold the door" in Russian? 333 00:18:52,736 --> 00:18:55,153 I'm probably going to miss a lot of elevators at first. 334 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:57,763 But, Stan, if the Soviets control the U.S., 335 00:18:57,765 --> 00:18:59,600 there really won't be a Christmas. 336 00:18:59,608 --> 00:19:02,652 No decorations, no pageants, no Santa. 337 00:19:02,657 --> 00:19:04,082 I'll miss all that, 338 00:19:04,087 --> 00:19:06,700 but at least I'll still have you and the kids. 339 00:19:06,715 --> 00:19:07,901 What kids? 340 00:19:07,905 --> 00:19:11,040 If you don't fix this, you and Francine might never meet. 341 00:19:11,056 --> 00:19:13,050 Your kids might never be born. 342 00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:16,181 The future depends on what you do now. 343 00:19:22,115 --> 00:19:25,843 - It's go time. - Are you sure you can do this? 344 00:19:25,846 --> 00:19:28,490 Francine, I came back here to save Christmas. 345 00:19:28,498 --> 00:19:32,310 But the most important part of Christmas is you and the kids. 346 00:19:34,847 --> 00:19:37,073 Now remember, you only need to wing him. 347 00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:40,981 Wow, thank you. Geez! That, that would have been ugly. 348 00:19:43,237 --> 00:19:46,302 Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! 349 00:19:52,006 --> 00:19:53,330 Did it work? 350 00:19:55,155 --> 00:19:57,691 No tanks, no Russian troops. 351 00:19:57,698 --> 00:20:01,072 - Hey, boy, what day is this? - Why, it's Christmas, sir. 352 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:04,822 That's wonderful! Now get the hell off my lawn. 353 00:20:06,018 --> 00:20:08,080 We did it, Francine. 354 00:20:10,936 --> 00:20:14,821 - We're having Christmas after all! - You fixed everything! 355 00:20:15,058 --> 00:20:17,132 He sure did. 356 00:20:17,198 --> 00:20:19,893 This one is for you, but I think it's broken. 357 00:20:19,895 --> 00:20:23,421 That's okay, beautiful. I already have everything I want. 358 00:20:24,148 --> 00:20:28,253 - Merry Christmas, Roger. - I got your Christmas right here. 359 00:20:28,738 --> 00:20:31,761 That's, that's where my genitals are. 360 00:20:31,766 --> 00:20:34,292 I created disco, you know? 361 00:20:34,297 --> 00:20:37,530 Yeah, yeah, and you lost it all and Clive Davis hogged your eight ball. 362 00:20:37,547 --> 00:20:41,012 We've heard it a million times. Get over it already! 363 00:20:41,017 --> 00:20:42,543 Yeah, you're right. 364 00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:44,140 Who got me what? 365 00:20:45,075 --> 00:20:46,222 Stan. 366 00:20:46,858 --> 00:20:49,471 I made it to the mall in time last night so, 367 00:20:49,475 --> 00:20:52,442 I got you a little something, you know, for saving my butt. 368 00:20:54,278 --> 00:20:57,072 Wow, a brand-new Glock! 369 00:20:57,076 --> 00:20:59,031 Wait. How'd you buy this last night? 370 00:20:59,046 --> 00:21:01,280 There's a seven-day waiting period : the Brady Bill. 371 00:21:01,286 --> 00:21:02,732 Oh, you only shot Reagan. 372 00:21:02,736 --> 00:21:05,301 No, there is no Brady Bill. You can get a gun like that. 373 00:21:05,318 --> 00:21:08,180 This is the best Christmas ever. 374 00:21:08,186 --> 00:21:09,121 Synchronisation : Kemar, Fogia Transcript : Raceman www.forom.com 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net