1 00:00:28,997 --> 00:00:31,445 Babe, you're having a bad dream. 2 00:00:32,544 --> 00:00:34,812 Jeff, you're having a bad dream. 3 00:00:34,813 --> 00:00:35,617 No, I'm not! 4 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:36,851 You broke my arm. 5 00:00:36,852 --> 00:00:37,875 Oh, God. 6 00:00:37,876 --> 00:00:39,297 I had that dream again. 7 00:00:39,703 --> 00:00:42,521 And I think I finally know what it means. 8 00:00:42,597 --> 00:00:44,363 You broke up with Jeff? 9 00:00:44,364 --> 00:00:46,628 It's time to change my entire life. 10 00:00:46,626 --> 00:00:49,010 That's what that recurring dream's been trying to tell me... 11 00:00:49,014 --> 00:00:51,288 the one where I'm in that creepy classroom. 12 00:00:52,539 --> 00:00:53,478 What? 13 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,143 I, I didn't drop that mug because you mentioned that dream. 14 00:00:56,149 --> 00:00:57,721 That dream is a warning. 15 00:00:57,727 --> 00:01:00,422 Society's trying to brainwash me to conform, 16 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:03,922 to, to color inside the lines, to get married and have babies. 17 00:01:03,927 --> 00:01:05,933 Well, I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid anymore. 18 00:01:05,938 --> 00:01:07,940 Have you tried it with Splenda? 19 00:01:07,946 --> 00:01:08,960 Wait, wait, Hayley. 20 00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:11,103 This'll take you off the Path to Happiness. 21 00:01:11,118 --> 00:01:12,742 "The Path to Happiness"? 22 00:01:12,748 --> 00:01:16,082 Yeah, it starts in Marriage Land and runs through Mommy Town. 23 00:01:16,087 --> 00:01:17,022 Final destination: 24 00:01:17,026 --> 00:01:18,340 Housewife City, 25 00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:20,030 where you watch TV all day long 26 00:01:20,105 --> 00:01:21,661 and blame everything on a Mexican woman 27 00:01:21,666 --> 00:01:23,283 who only comes on Tuesdays. 28 00:01:23,287 --> 00:01:25,480 Yeah, well, I never want to be a housewife. 29 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,290 That's why I'm moving to France. 30 00:01:27,298 --> 00:01:28,242 - What?! - What?! 31 00:01:28,247 --> 00:01:31,173 I'm going to live a carefree life with a string of lovers: 32 00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:34,463 Jean-Jacques, Henri, Simone. 33 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,571 The last one was a girl's name. 34 00:01:38,158 --> 00:01:39,550 I'm leaving tonight. 35 00:01:39,785 --> 00:01:41,123 Hayley, this is crazy! 36 00:01:41,128 --> 00:01:42,353 You're throwing your life away! 37 00:01:42,358 --> 00:01:44,003 It's just a stupid dream! 38 00:01:44,117 --> 00:01:47,073 Sir, I have to tell her it's not just a stupid dream. 39 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,623 She needs to know the truth about Project Day Care. 40 00:01:49,628 --> 00:01:51,342 What, that you allowed her to be brainwashed 41 00:01:51,357 --> 00:01:53,783 and trained as a sleeper agent for the CIA? 42 00:01:53,787 --> 00:01:56,682 Oh, yes, that's sure to put a puff in her petticoat. 43 00:01:56,688 --> 00:01:58,173 I never meant to hurt her. 44 00:01:58,178 --> 00:02:00,901 I just thought it'd be fun to have a father-daughter spy team. 45 00:02:00,905 --> 00:02:02,731 Yes, that does sound like fun, 46 00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:04,363 but as we learned from Alias, 47 00:02:04,378 --> 00:02:06,733 the idea gets tired very quickly. 48 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:10,441 Look, were you ever briefed on why that project was discontinued? 49 00:02:10,446 --> 00:02:12,152 No, but I heard that the sleeper agents 50 00:02:12,155 --> 00:02:15,651 who weren't deactivated within seven days lost their free will forever. 51 00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:17,393 Yes, something like that. 52 00:02:17,427 --> 00:02:19,333 Look, just do nothing. 53 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:22,753 Hayley's trainingwill simply lie dormant in her subconscious 54 00:02:22,757 --> 00:02:25,221 as long as you never say her trigger phrase. 55 00:02:25,225 --> 00:02:28,660 So, what,I just stand by and watch my daughter ruin her life? 56 00:02:28,665 --> 00:02:32,993 Ah, I'm glad I'm not the only father with a problem child. 57 00:02:32,997 --> 00:02:35,002 Smith, this is Senator Shepherd. 58 00:02:35,008 --> 00:02:36,642 He'll be joining us for lunch... 59 00:02:36,648 --> 00:02:39,060 apparently he won me in an auction. 60 00:02:39,066 --> 00:02:41,013 So you have a willful daughter too, sir? 61 00:02:41,018 --> 00:02:42,223 Willful, yes. 62 00:02:42,225 --> 00:02:43,432 Daughter, no. 63 00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:45,663 Your senator speaks in riddles. 64 00:02:45,668 --> 00:02:47,301 He has a son, Smith. 65 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:48,842 That's not very funny. 66 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:55,683 My God, you guys are still watching that stupid Sleuth Channel? 67 00:02:55,685 --> 00:02:57,921 Are you kidding? This channel is great. 68 00:02:57,925 --> 00:02:59,811 It plays all the old detective shows: 69 00:02:59,816 --> 00:03:02,511 Starsky and Hutch, Jake and the Fatman... 70 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:06,182 It was a simpler time when only oppositescould solve crimes. 71 00:03:06,195 --> 00:03:08,140 This one's called Tex 'n' Mex. 72 00:03:08,148 --> 00:03:09,971 Tex is a bull-riding scientist. 73 00:03:09,976 --> 00:03:12,390 Mex is a street-wiseday laborer. 74 00:03:12,398 --> 00:03:12,892 Shh! 75 00:03:12,896 --> 00:03:15,400 They've assembled all the suspects in the disco. 76 00:03:15,507 --> 00:03:16,560 Okay, Trixie, 77 00:03:16,568 --> 00:03:19,160 you were doing the Hustle under the mirror ball. 78 00:03:19,177 --> 00:03:20,863 And Bruno, you were... 79 00:03:20,866 --> 00:03:23,550 Hey, Mex, put down that taco! 80 00:03:23,556 --> 00:03:25,011 It's evidence! 81 00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:27,271 Oy-yai-yai. 82 00:03:27,546 --> 00:03:30,542 Best. Catchphrase. Ever. 83 00:03:30,548 --> 00:03:32,490 Didi went on break at midnight, 84 00:03:32,495 --> 00:03:36,462 which means the victim got her cocktail directly at the bar... 85 00:03:36,465 --> 00:03:37,651 from Bruno! 86 00:03:37,655 --> 00:03:39,752 But you said the poison was fast-acting. 87 00:03:39,757 --> 00:03:41,053 She didn't die for an hour. 88 00:03:41,058 --> 00:03:42,210 It couldn't have been me. 89 00:03:42,225 --> 00:03:45,323 Unless the poison was frozen in the ice cubes! 90 00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:48,083 Unless the poison was frozen in the ice cubes. 91 00:03:48,088 --> 00:03:49,661 We would have made great detectives. 92 00:03:49,665 --> 00:03:51,370 What do you mean,"would have"? 93 00:03:51,377 --> 00:03:53,420 Let's start our own detective agency. 94 00:03:53,426 --> 00:03:54,192 Yeah! 95 00:03:54,196 --> 00:03:55,420 What should our names be? 96 00:03:55,428 --> 00:03:59,810 Steve, first you create the character, then let him tell you his name. 97 00:03:59,818 --> 00:04:02,362 Let's meet back here in an hour with our personas. 98 00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:03,383 Deal! 99 00:04:03,387 --> 00:04:06,371 In the meantime, I'm going to crack my first... 100 00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:07,661 case. 101 00:04:08,976 --> 00:04:10,610 Whatever Steve's persona is, 102 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,831 I hope it involves rolling his eyes at my clever puns. 103 00:04:16,315 --> 00:04:19,422 I tell you, my sonhas me at my limit. 104 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:23,513 All he wants to do is travel the world, sowing his wild oats. 105 00:04:23,675 --> 00:04:26,253 I just want him to get on the Road to Happiness. 106 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,040 The Path to Happiness, but yeah, me, too. 107 00:04:28,048 --> 00:04:30,221 If only there was a way to control our kids. 108 00:04:30,225 --> 00:04:33,372 Well, I figured out how to control mine: money. 109 00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:38,240 I told Dill he's not getting a dime until he finds himself a galand settles down. 110 00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,592 Hey, maybe our kids could settle down together. 111 00:04:40,598 --> 00:04:41,603 What's your son like? 112 00:04:41,607 --> 00:04:43,223 You can see for yourself. 113 00:04:43,226 --> 00:04:45,783 If I know Dill, he's down at the gym right now, 114 00:04:45,787 --> 00:04:47,351 working up a sweat. 115 00:04:49,948 --> 00:04:52,131 It's a nice day for a stroll... 116 00:04:52,138 --> 00:04:54,620 and the view is just fine, too. 117 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,921 Anyway, as I was saying,Mr. Smith, 118 00:04:56,926 --> 00:05:01,153 after college I found myself afflicted by a wanderlust 119 00:05:01,158 --> 00:05:07,533 that took me around the globe, where I feasted on the sweet, sticky nectar of life. 120 00:05:08,115 --> 00:05:13,750 But then Father called and I had to flutter back to the nest like a wayward jaybird. 121 00:05:15,655 --> 00:05:17,410 He's perfect! 122 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,990 Roger, you ready for my persona? 123 00:05:23,846 --> 00:05:25,400 Huh? What do you think? 124 00:05:25,407 --> 00:05:26,823 I don't love it. 125 00:05:28,135 --> 00:05:30,143 What are you doing in a wheelchair? 126 00:05:30,145 --> 00:05:31,261 I'm Wheels. 127 00:05:31,268 --> 00:05:33,760 Together we're Wheels and the Legman. 128 00:05:34,275 --> 00:05:35,172 You're the Legman. 129 00:05:35,176 --> 00:05:37,740 Well, how can I be the Legman if I'm in a wheelchair? 130 00:05:37,746 --> 00:05:39,860 So you seethe problem. Nice detective work. 131 00:05:39,868 --> 00:05:41,781 Now get out of that thing.You look ridiculous. 132 00:05:41,785 --> 00:05:43,852 I can't. I was a cop who got shot. 133 00:05:43,866 --> 00:05:45,981 You got shot? That's it? 134 00:05:45,985 --> 00:05:48,020 Oh, I suppose you have a better back story? 135 00:05:48,025 --> 00:05:49,822 My name is Braff Zacklin. 136 00:05:49,825 --> 00:05:51,823 I was an international race car driver. 137 00:05:51,828 --> 00:05:54,512 One day, a baby carriage rolled out onto the track 138 00:05:54,515 --> 00:05:57,010 so I swerved into there taining wall to avoid it. 139 00:05:57,015 --> 00:06:00,683 The car burst into flames, but the baby miraculously survived. 140 00:06:00,685 --> 00:06:02,823 I was that baby. 141 00:06:02,825 --> 00:06:04,441 That doesn't make any sense. 142 00:06:04,445 --> 00:06:05,772 I'm Braff Zacklin! 143 00:06:05,905 --> 00:06:08,840 Flight 22 to Paris now boarding. 144 00:06:08,844 --> 00:06:09,928 Hayley, wait! 145 00:06:09,929 --> 00:06:12,238 Meet the manof your dreams! 146 00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:13,323 Dill Shepherd. 147 00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:15,710 Charmed,I'm entirely certain. 148 00:06:16,005 --> 00:06:17,620 Would you excuse us? 149 00:06:17,688 --> 00:06:22,350 I'll just mosey on over to the men's room, and see if I can't find a willing foreigner 150 00:06:22,355 --> 00:06:25,720 to help me check the sturdiness of the diaper change table. 151 00:06:26,706 --> 00:06:29,122 He's already got babies on the brain. 152 00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:31,320 Talk about husband material. 153 00:06:31,337 --> 00:06:34,073 Um, I'm pretty sure I'm not his type. 154 00:06:34,747 --> 00:06:35,690 Bye, Daddy. 155 00:06:35,698 --> 00:06:36,550 Hayley, wait! 156 00:06:36,558 --> 00:06:38,773 You're making a huge mistake. I won't let you do it. 157 00:06:38,775 --> 00:06:41,263 You won't let me? It's my life. 158 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,460 You can't control me. 159 00:06:42,466 --> 00:06:43,652 Yes, I could. 160 00:06:43,656 --> 00:06:45,290 I could control you completely. 161 00:06:45,358 --> 00:06:50,271 Just by saying one secret combination of words that no one in the world would ever utter. 162 00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:51,472 Good-bye, Dad. 163 00:06:52,055 --> 00:06:53,252 Hayley! 164 00:06:53,297 --> 00:06:54,311 Uh... 165 00:06:54,316 --> 00:06:56,530 I'm getting fed up with this orgasm! 166 00:06:57,636 --> 00:07:00,642 Agent Small Wonder activated. What are my orders? 167 00:07:00,698 --> 00:07:01,892 It worked. 168 00:07:02,998 --> 00:07:05,591 Uh... tear up your plane ticket. 169 00:07:05,847 --> 00:07:07,793 Are we almost finished here? 170 00:07:07,797 --> 00:07:10,400 Hayley, take the hand of your new boyfriend, Dill. 171 00:07:11,956 --> 00:07:13,150 Look aroused. 172 00:07:13,285 --> 00:07:14,681 Ten percent more aroused. 173 00:07:14,877 --> 00:07:16,310 Scale it back two percent. 174 00:07:17,345 --> 00:07:19,541 Ah, young love. 175 00:07:22,257 --> 00:07:23,840 Ding-dong! 176 00:07:23,868 --> 00:07:24,781 Francine! 177 00:07:24,788 --> 00:07:26,672 Someone's mimicking the doorbell. 178 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:29,871 Hi, Dill. 179 00:07:29,876 --> 00:07:31,850 Oh, you brought flowers for Hayley. 180 00:07:31,856 --> 00:07:33,730 No, these are for me. 181 00:07:33,748 --> 00:07:35,600 They're my walkin'petunias. 182 00:07:35,608 --> 00:07:36,692 There he is... 183 00:07:36,697 --> 00:07:38,460 Dill! 184 00:07:39,725 --> 00:07:40,923 1500 hours. 185 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,343 Ready to go as instructed. 186 00:07:42,345 --> 00:07:44,911 Hayley,you're wearing a dress? 187 00:07:44,915 --> 00:07:46,823 She looks great in it. Don't you, Hayley? 188 00:07:46,828 --> 00:07:48,292 Yes. I look great in it. 189 00:07:48,295 --> 00:07:49,801 Conceited. 190 00:07:49,806 --> 00:07:50,780 You shouldtake a sweater. 191 00:07:50,786 --> 00:07:51,860 Nah, I don't need one. 192 00:07:51,865 --> 00:07:52,763 Take a sweater, Hayley. 193 00:07:52,766 --> 00:07:54,060 I'll go get a sweater. 194 00:07:55,097 --> 00:07:57,790 Your daughter is as nimbleas Johnny Yip, 195 00:07:57,797 --> 00:08:03,370 a Taiwanese gymnast with whom I once had the pleasure of sharing an Italian sleeper car. 196 00:08:03,466 --> 00:08:06,140 Yeah, that fumble totally handed the game to the Redskins. 197 00:08:06,148 --> 00:08:08,441 Uh, Dill, can yougive us a minute? 198 00:08:08,445 --> 00:08:09,642 Surely. 199 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,252 Stan, what's going on with Hayley? 200 00:08:13,258 --> 00:08:15,430 It's like she's just going through the motions. 201 00:08:15,438 --> 00:08:17,083 She doesn't really seem happy. 202 00:08:17,085 --> 00:08:19,103 Uh, Hayley. You're happy, right? 203 00:08:19,117 --> 00:08:20,303 Tell your motheryou're happy. 204 00:08:20,307 --> 00:08:21,511 Mother, I'm happy. 205 00:08:21,515 --> 00:08:23,260 See? She's over the moon. 206 00:08:23,365 --> 00:08:26,340 Well, I don't know as much about astronomy as you, 207 00:08:26,347 --> 00:08:28,553 but I'm worried about our little girl. 208 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,970 Klaus, I, I think I might've done a bad thing. 209 00:08:32,976 --> 00:08:35,653 I kinda brainwashed Hayley. 210 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,312 Hmm? 211 00:08:37,357 --> 00:08:39,310 Yeah, uh, I'm sort of reading. 212 00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:42,530 She's a sleeper agent and, well, I activated her. 213 00:08:42,536 --> 00:08:44,072 should do whatever i tell her. 214 00:08:46,378 --> 00:08:50,363 Of course, I feel terrible about taking away her ability to think for herself... 215 00:08:53,975 --> 00:08:55,573 ...but it's only for seven days. 216 00:08:56,008 --> 00:08:59,000 Then I have to deactivate her or she'll lose her free will forever. 217 00:08:59,007 --> 00:09:04,593 So I've only got until Saturday at 7:35 to make sure she stays on the Path to Happiness. 218 00:09:07,288 --> 00:09:11,182 I know it seems wrong, but it's for her own good, so that's okay, right? 219 00:09:11,185 --> 00:09:12,381 What do you think? 220 00:09:12,645 --> 00:09:16,252 I think you only talk to me when there's no one else to turn to. 221 00:09:16,257 --> 00:09:19,651 I think you really don't care what I think, and you just need to hear yourself talk. 222 00:09:19,656 --> 00:09:23,011 I think you're a selfish bastard and I think you can go to hell! 223 00:09:24,436 --> 00:09:25,630 Wow. 224 00:09:26,517 --> 00:09:27,341 Okay. 225 00:09:27,345 --> 00:09:30,161 Uh, well, I guess I'll ask someone else what they... 226 00:09:30,166 --> 00:09:31,870 Yes, why don't you do that. 227 00:09:34,317 --> 00:09:36,870 Good for you, Klauss, good for you. 228 00:09:39,015 --> 00:09:43,011 Now, if we were to hire you as the secretary of our detective agency, 229 00:09:43,018 --> 00:09:46,160 what wacky yet lovable persona would you employ? 230 00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:48,411 I... I don't know what you mean. 231 00:09:48,426 --> 00:09:52,571 You know, like answering the phone with dirty limericks, or constantly talking 232 00:09:52,578 --> 00:09:54,263 to the ghost of your dead husband. 233 00:09:54,266 --> 00:09:56,483 - What the Legman means is... - Excuse me. 234 00:09:56,487 --> 00:09:57,843 I'm Wheels.You're the Legman. 235 00:09:57,845 --> 00:10:00,073 I dare you to stand up and tell me that. 236 00:10:01,346 --> 00:10:03,170 Nice try. 237 00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:06,782 Um, I have three kids. Is this a real job? 238 00:10:06,785 --> 00:10:07,441 Shut up. 239 00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:09,481 Look, we can't be Wheels and Wheels. 240 00:10:09,486 --> 00:10:12,171 The ABC story department would never approve that. 241 00:10:12,175 --> 00:10:14,981 Either you be my Legman or I'll find a partner who will. 242 00:10:14,986 --> 00:10:16,601 Fine. Me, too. 243 00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:20,810 I don't have time for this bit. 244 00:10:26,607 --> 00:10:28,111 Thank God you're home. 245 00:10:28,115 --> 00:10:30,562 Something wird is going on, Stan. 246 00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:33,460 Hayley's become a totally different person. 247 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,882 It's almost as if... 248 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,242 something's been done to her brain. 249 00:10:37,685 --> 00:10:40,311 Like her brain's been put through some sort of... 250 00:10:40,408 --> 00:10:44,280 cleaning process. Like it's been scrubbed, 251 00:10:44,628 --> 00:10:48,190 or rubbed vigorously with soap and water. 252 00:10:48,277 --> 00:10:49,920 Brain scoured? 253 00:10:49,955 --> 00:10:52,050 Mind polished? 254 00:10:53,878 --> 00:10:55,872 Well, something fishy's going on, 255 00:10:55,877 --> 00:10:58,861 and I'm not going to rest until I find out exactly what... 256 00:10:58,868 --> 00:10:59,721 I'm engaged. 257 00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,252 Oh! 258 00:11:01,268 --> 00:11:07,080 My baby's getting married! I can't believe Dill proposed! 259 00:11:07,087 --> 00:11:09,492 He didn't. I did. Those weremy orders. 260 00:11:09,498 --> 00:11:11,081 Orders? What are you...? 261 00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:14,081 Oh, who cares?! You're getting married! 262 00:11:14,088 --> 00:11:18,640 Oh, we'll have a big fancy wedding with doves and napkins. 263 00:11:19,215 --> 00:11:22,393 Just make sure the wedding happens by Saturday at 7:35. 264 00:11:22,398 --> 00:11:23,303 What? 265 00:11:23,318 --> 00:11:25,011 But that's four days away. 266 00:11:25,056 --> 00:11:27,760 Wait. Why would it haveto happen by...? 267 00:11:27,778 --> 00:11:31,561 Oh, who cares? My baby'sgetting married! 268 00:11:32,965 --> 00:11:35,772 I know, I know, this seems extreme, but time's running out. 269 00:11:35,837 --> 00:11:38,050 Come on, Klaus, I need you. I... 270 00:11:38,278 --> 00:11:39,173 Is that a new bowl? 271 00:11:39,186 --> 00:11:40,962 No. It was newthree weeks ago. 272 00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,383 I... I didn't notice. 273 00:11:42,388 --> 00:11:43,713 No, you didn't. 274 00:11:43,717 --> 00:11:44,913 It's very nice. 275 00:11:45,086 --> 00:11:46,281 Really. 276 00:11:46,777 --> 00:11:48,093 Makes you look thinner. 277 00:11:48,756 --> 00:11:50,731 Well, thank you. 278 00:11:50,738 --> 00:11:54,150 I guess I forget sometimes that you're not justa fish in a bowl. 279 00:11:54,167 --> 00:11:55,992 You're a man in a fish in a bowl. 280 00:11:55,997 --> 00:12:01,222 Maybe I could be... a friend in a fish in a bowl. 281 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,230 Listen, Stan, I know your heart's in the right place, 282 00:12:05,235 --> 00:12:07,340 but when you deactivate Hayley,do you really think 283 00:12:07,346 --> 00:12:10,452 she's going to live with the choises you've made for her? 284 00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:12,331 That's the thing... after I deactivate her, 285 00:12:12,338 --> 00:12:14,600 she'll think all of my choices were hers. 286 00:12:14,607 --> 00:12:16,780 She'll be married to a rich senator's son, 287 00:12:16,786 --> 00:12:18,420 on her way to motherhood. 288 00:12:18,426 --> 00:12:22,280 Can I ask you something? You know,as a friend? 289 00:12:22,285 --> 00:12:23,351 Sure. 290 00:12:23,355 --> 00:12:25,431 Can you teach me how to read? 291 00:12:30,027 --> 00:12:31,071 Oh, hello. 292 00:12:31,087 --> 00:12:31,993 Hi there. 293 00:12:31,995 --> 00:12:34,131 Allow me to introduce ourselves. 294 00:12:34,135 --> 00:12:37,463 Wheels and the Legman. 295 00:12:37,636 --> 00:12:38,583 Bill Elliot. 296 00:12:38,586 --> 00:12:40,722 25 years of P.I. experience, 297 00:12:40,728 --> 00:12:43,471 mostly divorce cases and insurance fraud. 298 00:12:43,486 --> 00:12:45,920 He's the real deal...Braff. 299 00:12:45,927 --> 00:12:48,430 Allow me to introduce ourselves. 300 00:12:48,585 --> 00:12:51,292 Wheels and the Angel. 301 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,580 That's right, a real angel. 302 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:59,453 And she can't get back in to heaven until she solves 100 cases. 303 00:12:59,455 --> 00:13:02,282 But that... but you...but she... 304 00:13:02,337 --> 00:13:05,171 That's... brilliant. 305 00:13:06,765 --> 00:13:10,331 Thank you, Dill,for that lovely poem dedicated to your best man. 306 00:13:14,696 --> 00:13:18,453 Stan, you have to deactivate her or she'll be your puppet forever! 307 00:13:18,457 --> 00:13:22,221 Do you, Dill, take Hayley to be your lawfully wedded wife, 308 00:13:22,306 --> 00:13:24,463 in sickness and in health? 309 00:13:24,476 --> 00:13:25,813 I do. 310 00:13:25,825 --> 00:13:27,270 You're running out of time! 311 00:13:27,276 --> 00:13:28,283 Come on! 312 00:13:28,288 --> 00:13:30,292 And Hayley, do you take this, uh, 313 00:13:30,296 --> 00:13:34,101 let's say man, to be your lawfully wedded husband? 314 00:13:34,107 --> 00:13:35,521 Stan, it's now or never! 315 00:13:35,527 --> 00:13:36,721 We can still make it! 316 00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:38,480 I do. 317 00:13:38,486 --> 00:13:40,410 I'm getting fed up with this orgasm! 318 00:13:40,995 --> 00:13:42,661 What are your orders, Father? 319 00:13:42,716 --> 00:13:46,212 Uh, uh, nothing. Please continue. 320 00:13:46,887 --> 00:13:48,341 I was too late. 321 00:13:48,387 --> 00:13:49,983 Okay, then,you're married. 322 00:13:50,346 --> 00:13:51,762 Good luck with that. 323 00:13:51,866 --> 00:13:53,442 You may now kiss the bride. 324 00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:55,562 Is it mandatory? 325 00:13:59,347 --> 00:14:00,803 Hayley, your mom wants a picture. 326 00:14:00,805 --> 00:14:01,602 Not now. 327 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:04,292 Hayley, I order youto come take a picture. 328 00:14:04,946 --> 00:14:06,693 Not... now! 329 00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,413 But seriously, Amy, 330 00:14:09,417 --> 00:14:15,502 age ain't nothing but a the number and the number I'm thinking of is $100. 331 00:14:16,757 --> 00:14:18,991 My, how courting has changed. 332 00:14:18,996 --> 00:14:20,803 Smith, lovely wedding. 333 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:25,391 Uh, sir, I need to know the whole story about why Project Day Carewas cancelled. 334 00:14:25,408 --> 00:14:27,911 Why, because of all the deaths, of course. 335 00:14:29,207 --> 00:14:32,433 Good God, you didit didn't you? You activated your daughter. 336 00:14:32,437 --> 00:14:34,383 Look, sir, I know you're mad, but... 337 00:14:34,388 --> 00:14:36,622 Deactivate her now! 338 00:14:36,717 --> 00:14:38,730 I can't. It's been over seven days. 339 00:14:38,738 --> 00:14:39,632 What?! 340 00:14:39,636 --> 00:14:40,620 I'm kind of worried. 341 00:14:40,626 --> 00:14:43,253 I mean, I thought she was supposed to lose her free will, 342 00:14:43,256 --> 00:14:45,340 but I-I just gave her an order, and she didn't... 343 00:14:48,946 --> 00:14:50,573 Smith, get the hell out of there! 344 00:14:50,577 --> 00:14:51,903 Green Taurus. Chop chop. 345 00:14:51,905 --> 00:14:54,052 The problem isn't that she'll lose her free will. 346 00:14:54,056 --> 00:14:56,453 The problem is, she's going to turn on her handler. 347 00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:57,963 But I'm her handler. 348 00:14:57,967 --> 00:14:59,863 No! A green Taurus. 349 00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:01,850 El Taurus verde! 350 00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:05,481 Smith, Hayleywas trained to be an unstoppable killing machine, 351 00:15:05,486 --> 00:15:08,192 and she won't snap out of it until you're dead. 352 00:15:11,905 --> 00:15:14,592 Okay, everyone,we're going to cut the cake! 353 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,780 Come on, Hayley,cut the cake. 354 00:15:16,786 --> 00:15:19,903 I just want to make sure Daddy sees this. 355 00:15:20,966 --> 00:15:23,440 Oh, yeah,I see it. I can see finefrom back here. 356 00:15:28,446 --> 00:15:31,590 And now it's time for the bride to dance with her father. 357 00:15:31,595 --> 00:15:34,833 Oh, I would, but, uh, I have to tip the dove guy. Ow! 358 00:15:38,888 --> 00:15:41,512 Hayley, I just want you to know, everything I did, 359 00:15:41,515 --> 00:15:43,620 I did because I wanted to make you happy. 360 00:15:43,627 --> 00:15:44,981 I am happy, Dad. 361 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,883 I'm not just gaining a husband. 362 00:15:47,125 --> 00:15:49,010 I'm losing a father. 363 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,122 So, after she died in Hurricane Katrina, 364 00:15:54,125 --> 00:15:58,151 she was sent down to walk the earth and change people's lives... 365 00:15:58,237 --> 00:15:59,291 for the better. 366 00:15:59,296 --> 00:16:00,982 Angel, tell them your catchphrase. 367 00:16:00,986 --> 00:16:02,070 You gonna finish that? 368 00:16:02,075 --> 00:16:03,982 We're still working on her catchphrase. 369 00:16:04,686 --> 00:16:05,870 Wait a minute. 370 00:16:05,888 --> 00:16:08,402 What kind of angel eats devil's food cake? 371 00:16:08,405 --> 00:16:10,442 Uh, we-we have to go now. 372 00:16:10,457 --> 00:16:11,922 Nobody's going anywhere. 373 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:15,581 Something about this angel stinks to high heaven! 374 00:16:16,487 --> 00:16:18,232 Very nice. 375 00:16:18,316 --> 00:16:20,182 - You're crazy! - Am I? 376 00:16:20,197 --> 00:16:21,850 You almost got away with it. 377 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:23,781 But nothing gets past Wheels, 378 00:16:23,787 --> 00:16:26,763 especially not people walking behind me in a narrow hallway. 379 00:16:26,765 --> 00:16:31,233 My first clue that something was amiss was when Angel asked me... 380 00:16:31,235 --> 00:16:32,622 Are you gonna finish that? 381 00:16:32,627 --> 00:16:34,781 At that moment, I thought to myself... 382 00:16:34,947 --> 00:16:38,842 Wait a minute. What kind of angel eats devil's food cake? 383 00:16:38,848 --> 00:16:41,892 She's no angel. She's a fraud! 384 00:16:44,958 --> 00:16:46,472 Congratulations. 385 00:16:46,476 --> 00:16:48,112 You cracked the case... 386 00:16:48,735 --> 00:16:49,941 Wheels. 387 00:16:50,197 --> 00:16:51,213 Say it now. 388 00:16:51,217 --> 00:16:53,193 You're on aroll, Wheels. 389 00:16:53,257 --> 00:16:55,362 Great. Now laughand freeze frame. 390 00:17:00,918 --> 00:17:02,172 You can walk? 391 00:17:02,178 --> 00:17:05,143 Doesn't this remind you of that-that ballroom skit on The Muppet Show, 392 00:17:05,145 --> 00:17:07,352 when they-they used to dance around and tell jokes? 393 00:17:07,357 --> 00:17:09,662 Yeah. Except I'm going to kill you. 394 00:17:09,668 --> 00:17:10,792 Jewish chair dance! 395 00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:13,811 Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah,blah, blah, blah-blah-bah 396 00:17:13,828 --> 00:17:15,671 Blah-blah, blah,blah-blah 397 00:17:17,246 --> 00:17:18,442 Damn it! 398 00:17:46,006 --> 00:17:48,173 416 Cherry Street! Go! 399 00:18:03,435 --> 00:18:05,092 Gun! Call for help! 400 00:19:10,267 --> 00:19:11,881 Hayley, don'tmake me... 401 00:19:12,006 --> 00:19:14,423 spare your life because you're part of the family. 402 00:19:24,577 --> 00:19:27,330 There's got to be somethingin here that'll snap her out of it. 403 00:19:32,236 --> 00:19:36,762 Wait! Stop! Remember when you had the chicken pox and I gave you this bear? 404 00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:39,891 Congratulations. You did it. 405 00:19:39,906 --> 00:19:42,550 Mr. Teddybonkers was your handler, and you killed him. 406 00:19:42,555 --> 00:19:44,013 Mission accomplished. 407 00:19:44,027 --> 00:19:45,263 Fuddruckers? 408 00:19:47,025 --> 00:19:49,362 Okay, Hayley, I give up. 409 00:19:49,548 --> 00:19:51,031 This was all my fault. 410 00:19:51,197 --> 00:19:53,231 I never should have triedto control you. 411 00:19:53,355 --> 00:19:55,621 You were on your own pathto happiness. 412 00:19:55,707 --> 00:19:59,382 And if killing me will put youback on that path, then go ahead. 413 00:19:59,475 --> 00:20:02,281 Just know that I love youand I always will. 414 00:20:02,698 --> 00:20:04,132 You're my little girl. 415 00:20:04,347 --> 00:20:06,842 Now, if you still feelyou can pull that trigger... 416 00:20:10,737 --> 00:20:12,810 Stan! Are you okay? 417 00:20:12,815 --> 00:20:16,150 Yeah, I just had a dreamthat I was dead. 418 00:20:16,156 --> 00:20:17,252 You were. 419 00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,031 For six whole minutes. 420 00:20:19,037 --> 00:20:19,672 What? 421 00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:21,152 I'm so sorry,Daddy. 422 00:20:21,257 --> 00:20:22,992 I guess I was just so stressed, 423 00:20:22,998 --> 00:20:26,032 rushing into that stupid wedding with that gay guy. 424 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,442 I just went crazy. 425 00:20:27,447 --> 00:20:29,311 Don't worry. She's much better now. 426 00:20:29,317 --> 00:20:32,513 We had the marriage annulled, and everything's back to normal. 427 00:20:32,807 --> 00:20:34,282 Kitchen's kind of a mess. 428 00:20:34,286 --> 00:20:35,903 Can you ever forgive me? 429 00:20:35,908 --> 00:20:39,043 So, nobody knows why any of this happened? 430 00:20:39,047 --> 00:20:39,831 No. 431 00:20:39,837 --> 00:20:41,352 Then, yes, I can forgive you. 432 00:20:41,356 --> 00:20:43,073 I'm just glad you're okay, Dad. 433 00:20:43,078 --> 00:20:44,861 Hayley, your mother was right. 434 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:48,382 You're a strong, independent young lady, and I'm proud of you. 435 00:20:48,437 --> 00:20:51,411 And if you want to go to France, I support you. 436 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:55,330 I don't know. For some reason I feel like I got all that out of my system. 437 00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:58,491 Man, I can't believeI survived a shot to the head. 438 00:20:58,496 --> 00:21:01,120 Well, the doctor says you'll have some memory loss, 439 00:21:01,125 --> 00:21:06,060 but I'll be by your side through every step of your recovery, my friend. 440 00:21:06,396 --> 00:21:07,913 Who's the talking fish? 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net