1 00:00:33,006 --> 00:00:36,337 - Hello, Hercules. - Opa, Francine! What you want? 2 00:00:36,457 --> 00:00:39,668 Stan's been on a big mission and he gets home tonight. 3 00:00:39,788 --> 00:00:42,464 I want to do something special, like prime rib. 4 00:00:42,704 --> 00:00:43,659 No, no, no. 5 00:00:43,779 --> 00:00:45,455 A man, he want lamb. 6 00:00:45,575 --> 00:00:47,135 I give you four kinds of lamb. 7 00:00:47,375 --> 00:00:49,117 Well, you never steer me wrong. 8 00:00:49,237 --> 00:00:51,970 That's because. I want you and Stan to be so happy. 9 00:00:52,175 --> 00:00:54,617 Marriage was such a beautiful thing for me. 10 00:00:54,737 --> 00:00:56,670 Until my wife put her bike on the front of the bus, 11 00:00:56,791 --> 00:00:58,430 and the driver no see her. 12 00:00:58,557 --> 00:00:59,648 But I see her, 13 00:00:59,882 --> 00:01:01,978 every night when I close my eyes, 14 00:01:02,099 --> 00:01:04,123 with her many beautiful moles and I think, 15 00:01:04,245 --> 00:01:06,323 "Why, Athena, why?!" 16 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,281 But I'm ready to move on.I'm out there; I just bought roller blades. 17 00:01:09,405 --> 00:01:11,523 Oh, Hercules, you'll find someone. 18 00:01:12,086 --> 00:01:14,623 You make me believe. Lamb is on the house-- 19 00:01:14,748 --> 00:01:17,471 No, I can't do that; I got caught up in moment. You pay me now. 20 00:01:18,137 --> 00:01:19,592 Horny, I'm home! 21 00:01:19,716 --> 00:01:21,193 I mean, honey, I'm horny. 22 00:01:21,318 --> 00:01:23,012 I mean, Francine, I'm horny. 23 00:01:23,135 --> 00:01:26,000 - Oh, Stan, I missed you. - And I'm horny. 24 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,481 Oh, Stan, don't ever put a bike on the front of a bus. 25 00:01:32,605 --> 00:01:35,010 Don't worry, baby, the bus is for foreigners. 26 00:01:36,106 --> 00:01:37,262 Hello. Mama! 27 00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:39,863 Oh, no, not again. 28 00:01:39,988 --> 00:01:41,703 Stay right there! I'm coming, Mama! 29 00:01:41,828 --> 00:01:43,590 Mama's new boyfriend just left her. 30 00:01:43,718 --> 00:01:45,141 - Can you imagine? - Yes, 31 00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:47,602 because it happens like three times a year. 32 00:01:47,725 --> 00:01:49,261 Three being the average. 33 00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:52,023 Steve taught me averages with cupcakes. 34 00:01:57,798 --> 00:02:00,062 There, there, Mama. You don't need him. 35 00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,291 Jerry's a jerk. 36 00:02:01,418 --> 00:02:02,603 I don't understand, 37 00:02:02,725 --> 00:02:05,211 we had such a good time on our first two dates. 38 00:02:05,338 --> 00:02:06,771 Then we were at the movies, 39 00:02:06,896 --> 00:02:09,213 he went to get popcorn and never came back. 40 00:02:09,455 --> 00:02:11,401 I had to watch the whole thing by myself. 41 00:02:11,527 --> 00:02:13,462 Adam Sandler had a remote control. 42 00:02:13,588 --> 00:02:15,051 I didn't know what was happening. 43 00:02:15,297 --> 00:02:18,240 To hell with Jerry. Any guy would be lucky to have you. 44 00:02:18,366 --> 00:02:21,572 This happens with every gentleman I see socially. 45 00:02:22,135 --> 00:02:24,232 Maybe I'm just unlovable. 46 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,260 Fishing. 47 00:02:25,385 --> 00:02:26,981 - What's that, dear? - You're fishing! 48 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:29,862 Francine, my mother's very vulnerable right now. 49 00:02:29,985 --> 00:02:32,443 Every guy she goes out with dumps her on the third date. 50 00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:34,631 And why wouldn't they? She's all dried up. 51 00:02:34,757 --> 00:02:36,561 Her uterus is an abandoned theater. 52 00:02:36,688 --> 00:02:38,933 Nothing in there but old playbills and memories. 53 00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:41,640 Some say there's a phantom that only comes out at night. 54 00:02:43,806 --> 00:02:46,000 Don't be scared. It's just a legend. 55 00:02:46,365 --> 00:02:47,871 Is Grandma still sad? 56 00:02:47,997 --> 00:02:49,003 There's the matter of 57 00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:51,443 two bounced ten-dollar Christmas checks to attend to. 58 00:02:51,566 --> 00:02:53,380 Nope. Still milking it. 59 00:02:54,006 --> 00:02:56,522 Oh, Stan, at least I have you. 60 00:02:56,757 --> 00:02:59,352 You'll always be my number one man. 61 00:02:59,477 --> 00:03:01,602 And you're my number one gal. 62 00:03:02,146 --> 00:03:03,182 What about me? 63 00:03:03,428 --> 00:03:05,653 Francine, I can't put a number on you. 64 00:03:05,776 --> 00:03:08,193 But you're definitely woman "B" in my life. 65 00:03:11,856 --> 00:03:14,101 Yes, about six-foot,blonde, stacked 66 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,872 not afraid to get down with a fish. 67 00:03:15,998 --> 00:03:17,430 Oh, and this is very important-- 68 00:03:17,558 --> 00:03:19,450 she must be nine months pregnant. 69 00:03:19,576 --> 00:03:20,410 Hello? 70 00:03:21,238 --> 00:03:24,081 Klaus, were you just ordering a hooker from the Yellow Pages? 71 00:03:24,206 --> 00:03:26,951 Oh, no, no. I was just,um, looking to see if 72 00:03:27,075 --> 00:03:29,632 there was a plumber in the area who could... 73 00:03:29,878 --> 00:03:31,761 Yes! Yes! 74 00:03:31,886 --> 00:03:33,663 I'm so lonely! 75 00:03:33,908 --> 00:03:37,250 I haven't felt the touch of another human being in six years! 76 00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:39,513 I just wanted to be held! 77 00:03:40,677 --> 00:03:43,381 There, there. You're not alone. 78 00:03:44,637 --> 00:03:46,040 Thank you, Steve. 79 00:03:47,326 --> 00:03:48,670 Here's a hundred-dollar bill. 80 00:03:48,745 --> 00:03:50,652 Don't look at me, because I won't look at you. 81 00:04:00,876 --> 00:04:03,841 Oh, look who's got tickets for the gun show. Ka-pow! 82 00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:07,702 I cannot go backdown there. 83 00:04:07,917 --> 00:04:11,470 Stan's mom is here after being dumped for the billionth time 84 00:04:11,597 --> 00:04:13,510 Oh, Betty's here? I love her! 85 00:04:13,635 --> 00:04:14,941 You don't even know her. 86 00:04:15,066 --> 00:04:16,973 Every time she visits, you're plastered. 87 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,443 I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. 88 00:04:24,137 --> 00:04:26,731 Tacos! Who's crying? 89 00:04:28,225 --> 00:04:30,982 So I've had a drinkin my life. But I'm sober now. 90 00:04:31,108 --> 00:04:32,502 This is my white month:3 91 00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:35,572 30 days with no alcohol. Just clean living. 92 00:04:35,695 --> 00:04:37,451 Got the idea from the Swedes. 93 00:04:37,575 --> 00:04:40,642 Amazing people. Unbelievably shoddy furniture. 94 00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,571 Now, who does Betty know me as? 95 00:04:43,945 --> 00:04:46,002 Cousin Phil. Number 302. 96 00:04:56,326 --> 00:04:58,380 God, that woman's manipulative. 97 00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:01,971 She uses her personal drama as an excuse to come here, 98 00:05:02,228 --> 00:05:04,980 take over Stan's life and elbow me out. 99 00:05:05,108 --> 00:05:07,022 Threatened by the visiting mother-in-law. 100 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,453 Cliché. 101 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,590 You don't know what you're talking about. 102 00:05:10,716 --> 00:05:12,313 They are way too close. 103 00:05:12,558 --> 00:05:14,611 Francine, is is all in your head. 104 00:05:14,737 --> 00:05:17,570 Just like my wedding to Valerie Harper was all in my head. 105 00:05:17,815 --> 00:05:19,502 Okay, Roger, you're right. 106 00:05:19,627 --> 00:05:22,943 Stan And his mother's relationship is perfectly normal. 107 00:05:23,068 --> 00:05:24,412 You know, I have a headache. 108 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,600 You mind going to my medicine cabinet and getting some aspirin? 109 00:05:27,725 --> 00:05:28,621 Ooh, stairs. 110 00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:31,700 Give me a chance to blast my calves. Ka-boom! 111 00:05:36,877 --> 00:05:38,833 What do you do when your mom's unhappy? 112 00:05:38,957 --> 00:05:40,550 Jerry left her feeling crappy 113 00:05:40,706 --> 00:05:44,091 Sing her a shanty nice and snappy Wash her in the bathtub 114 00:05:44,336 --> 00:05:47,873 Wash, wash, wash your v-jay Scrub scrub, scrub your v-jay 115 00:05:47,997 --> 00:05:51,022 Rinse, rinse,rinse your v-jay Next we'll do your tushie 116 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,850 Wash, wash, wash your tushie 117 00:05:53,096 --> 00:05:56,620 Scrub, scrub, scrub your tushie Rinse, rinse, rinseyour tushie 118 00:05:56,745 --> 00:05:58,440 We just did your tushie. 119 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,742 I told you it was complicated. 120 00:06:03,867 --> 00:06:07,072 No... no, no, changing plane sat O'Hare is complicated. 121 00:06:07,198 --> 00:06:08,361 Th... this is 122 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:11,632 This is just... Frannie, what is this ? 123 00:06:11,755 --> 00:06:14,282 Well, it all started when Stan was a little boy... 124 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,120 ...and his father left them. 125 00:06:22,057 --> 00:06:24,760 - Is it my fault? - Stan, look at me. 126 00:06:26,237 --> 00:06:27,180 Kind of. 127 00:06:28,928 --> 00:06:31,321 Don't worry, Mama, I'll take care of you. 128 00:06:31,446 --> 00:06:32,610 I know you will. 129 00:06:35,326 --> 00:06:37,481 That's my little man Stan. 130 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:41,293 So, from that moment on, Betty relied on Stan for everything. 131 00:06:41,718 --> 00:06:44,250 She tried to find love, but it never worked out. 132 00:06:44,376 --> 00:06:46,910 And Stan was always the pillow she'd cry on. 133 00:06:47,038 --> 00:06:49,160 So have you talked to Stan about this? 134 00:06:49,288 --> 00:06:51,983 I've tried, but he doesn't think there's a problem. 135 00:06:52,106 --> 00:06:55,160 Well, we'll talk to him together. I'll make him see there's a problem! 136 00:06:55,508 --> 00:06:57,192 Too close to my mother?! 137 00:06:57,318 --> 00:06:59,111 How dare you! I'm all she's got! 138 00:06:59,237 --> 00:07:01,833 Yeah, Francine! It's the man's mother for God's sake! 139 00:07:01,956 --> 00:07:03,273 What is wrong with her? 140 00:07:03,396 --> 00:07:05,533 But you were the one who said we should talk to him. 141 00:07:05,715 --> 00:07:08,503 Yeah, about the possibility of switching from cable to dish. 142 00:07:08,625 --> 00:07:10,980 I didns gonna get dragged into your psychodrama. 143 00:07:11,235 --> 00:07:12,600 I vote dish, by the way. 144 00:07:12,721 --> 00:07:15,090 Francine, my mother is not manipulating me. 145 00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,928 Our relationship is completely normal. 146 00:07:16,982 --> 00:07:18,378 And if you keep up setting me, 147 00:07:18,429 --> 00:07:21,493 then I'll have to retreat to my safe place between her breasts. 148 00:07:22,637 --> 00:07:25,002 - Roger, what the hell? - Yeah, I panicked. 149 00:07:25,126 --> 00:07:27,232 Listen, talking to Stan is the wrong way to go. 150 00:07:27,355 --> 00:07:29,571 - But you said... - Keep interrupting.That's helpful. 151 00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,622 Look, until Betty gets a man of her own, 152 00:07:31,746 --> 00:07:33,191 she won't let go of Stan. 153 00:07:33,315 --> 00:07:35,333 But she's a disaster at pickingmen, 154 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,331 so we pick one for her. 155 00:07:37,455 --> 00:07:39,542 One who won't blow her off after three dates. 156 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:43,303 Roger, that's a great idea. And I know the perfect guy. 157 00:07:43,548 --> 00:07:44,373 Fantastic. 158 00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:47,443 All I ask in return is that you vote withme on the dish. 159 00:07:47,565 --> 00:07:49,461 Wait, did I make that up or is that real? 160 00:07:49,586 --> 00:07:52,040 Is there even a vote? I don't know what's real. 161 00:07:52,677 --> 00:07:55,180 Oh, man, this is not gonna be fun. 162 00:07:56,418 --> 00:07:57,871 Hey, Steve! 163 00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,800 - Hey, Klaus, what's up? - Yeah, this is Klaus. 164 00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:02,410 - How's it going? - Good. 165 00:08:02,535 --> 00:08:04,353 Okay, look, um... 166 00:08:04,478 --> 00:08:06,200 I don't know if you remember, 167 00:08:06,327 --> 00:08:07,922 but you picked me up a while back... 168 00:08:08,045 --> 00:08:09,513 There's no easy way to say this-- 169 00:08:09,638 --> 00:08:12,871 I just found out that I have ick, so you might have it, too. 170 00:08:12,998 --> 00:08:15,302 Ick? Isn't that a fish disease? 171 00:08:15,427 --> 00:08:17,780 Yeah, so I'm just trying to be responsible. 172 00:08:17,906 --> 00:08:20,283 - I'm calling everyone I've been... - Everyone? 173 00:08:20,407 --> 00:08:22,363 You told me you hadn't been touched in six years. 174 00:08:22,486 --> 00:08:24,903 You took the hundred dollars. No one's a saint here. 175 00:08:25,145 --> 00:08:27,892 - Oh, my God! - Yeah, well, I'll let you go. 176 00:08:28,017 --> 00:08:30,303 You probably have some calls to make yourself. 177 00:08:30,428 --> 00:08:31,332 Sorry. 178 00:08:31,826 --> 00:08:34,350 This is gonna be a tough one. 179 00:08:35,547 --> 00:08:36,831 Carlos... 180 00:08:37,195 --> 00:08:40,413 when you were at your cousin's funeral in Valparaiso, 181 00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,312 I had sex with Cynthia. 182 00:08:45,637 --> 00:08:47,913 Francine, Stan's coming home soon. 183 00:08:48,038 --> 00:08:49,901 He needs me to be there to greet him. 184 00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:51,460 This will take one second. 185 00:08:51,588 --> 00:08:53,780 Opa, Francine! How was the lamb? 186 00:08:54,115 --> 00:08:56,873 Oh, you got the lamb here? I thought it was a little fatty. 187 00:08:58,196 --> 00:09:00,642 Hercules, I'm sorry, she doesn't know what she's... 188 00:09:00,768 --> 00:09:03,133 No, she is right. It was not good lamb. 189 00:09:03,257 --> 00:09:06,103 I wrestle morally, but the man who bring it is my sister's husband, 190 00:09:06,226 --> 00:09:07,710 so I sell shoddy lamb. 191 00:09:08,537 --> 00:09:10,112 You know your lamb, lady. 192 00:09:10,326 --> 00:09:12,000 I am Hercules. 193 00:09:12,128 --> 00:09:13,310 I'm Betty. 194 00:09:17,685 --> 00:09:19,611 I would love to talk more about the lamb. 195 00:09:19,735 --> 00:09:21,531 Say, over lamb? 196 00:09:24,365 --> 00:09:27,323 We're laughing about lamb. We are living! 197 00:09:30,566 --> 00:09:32,801 So the woman,she say, "no deal." 198 00:09:32,928 --> 00:09:36,080 And then she opened her own case, and inside was only a penny. 199 00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:39,723 - No! - Yes! She give up $70,000. 200 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,722 - I would die. - Don't die. 201 00:09:41,845 --> 00:09:43,471 - ... kiss me. - Deal. 202 00:09:45,807 --> 00:09:48,160 - Oh, my God, they're kissing! - I know! I know! I know! 203 00:09:49,558 --> 00:09:51,883 You ever notice how Rolos make you drool... 204 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,830 - What's going on? - Stan, now,don't be upset, 205 00:09:54,955 --> 00:09:57,183 but I set your mother up with Hercules. 206 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,761 No, it's too soon. 207 00:09:58,888 --> 00:10:00,682 Poor woman just had her heart broken. 208 00:10:00,806 --> 00:10:04,090 Don't you get it? She's as raw as the Wu-Tang Clan like it. 209 00:10:04,306 --> 00:10:07,081 Oh, Francine, Hercules is wonderful. 210 00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:09,080 We're going out again tomorrow night. 211 00:10:09,207 --> 00:10:10,750 I hope this one sticks. 212 00:10:11,438 --> 00:10:13,151 I hope it does too, Mama. 213 00:10:13,277 --> 00:10:15,723 Anything goes wrong with this guy, it's your fault. 214 00:10:16,718 --> 00:10:18,343 Oh, what could go wrong? 215 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,771 They're both lonely, they both like each other... 216 00:10:21,085 --> 00:10:22,793 You're a fool and I'll tell you why. 217 00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:26,060 Grandma Chase-'em-away always blows it on the third date. 218 00:10:26,187 --> 00:10:28,451 So... Ta-dah! 219 00:10:28,717 --> 00:10:30,660 You stole her address book? 220 00:10:30,786 --> 00:10:33,241 That's right. I'm gonna call up Betty's previous suitors 221 00:10:33,368 --> 00:10:35,330 and find out what sent them all running. 222 00:10:35,395 --> 00:10:36,772 That way, we can coach her 223 00:10:36,848 --> 00:10:39,002 so she doesn't screw things up with Hercules. 224 00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:42,603 We're gonna teach that lady how to please a man. 225 00:10:47,706 --> 00:10:50,522 Oh, I wasn't making a point, I was just low on potassium. 226 00:10:52,817 --> 00:10:55,440 I can't believe my stupid friends won'ha out with me. 227 00:10:55,568 --> 00:10:57,953 I told them, as long as they don't touch me, they can't get ick. 228 00:10:58,197 --> 00:11:00,260 They are totally uncool, Steve. 229 00:11:00,387 --> 00:11:02,293 Oh, look, I'm getting married. 230 00:11:04,487 --> 00:11:07,001 Steve, no. Don't give me a boy bride. 231 00:11:07,637 --> 00:11:09,691 Ohh... You're teasing me. 232 00:11:09,818 --> 00:11:13,281 You're insinuating I'm gay because I'm marrying a boy. 233 00:11:14,718 --> 00:11:16,411 Salacious. 234 00:11:21,977 --> 00:11:24,472 Francine! Thank God. I've beenwaiting for you. 235 00:11:24,595 --> 00:11:26,202 - Roger? - Meet me in the attic. 236 00:11:26,325 --> 00:11:28,460 I have something important to show you. 237 00:11:35,618 --> 00:11:38,583 Morning! I was just... in there. 238 00:11:39,045 --> 00:11:41,003 Oh, look, here's some bologna. 239 00:11:46,315 --> 00:11:48,120 I've been up all night doing research. 240 00:11:48,368 --> 00:11:51,813 You know Betty's boyfriends? The ones who keep "leaving" her? 241 00:11:51,935 --> 00:11:54,213 Well, they're not leaving her. They're disappearing! 242 00:11:54,456 --> 00:11:55,762 Missing. Missing. 243 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:57,841 Missing. Missing. Missing. 244 00:11:57,966 --> 00:12:00,711 Me buying chocolate in Solvang. Missing. Missing. 245 00:12:00,997 --> 00:12:03,982 - I don't understand. - They're not breaking up with her! 246 00:12:04,105 --> 00:12:05,871 Betty Smith is a black widow. 247 00:12:05,995 --> 00:12:08,330 She dates and then... she kills. 248 00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:10,771 What? That's crazy. 249 00:12:10,965 --> 00:12:13,143 No, she's crazy. Think about it. 250 00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:15,080 She lives for her son's attention. 251 00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:18,341 What better way to get it than by constantly being dumped. 252 00:12:18,577 --> 00:12:21,411 - We have to tell Stan! - But he'll never believe us. 253 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:24,532 He'll have to believe us. We have proof! 254 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,582 My mother is a killer?! 255 00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:29,870 Stan, I know this is hard to hear, but we have proof. 256 00:12:29,997 --> 00:12:30,842 Roger? 257 00:12:30,965 --> 00:12:33,141 I don't know what she'stalking about, Stan. 258 00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,733 First you say my mother and I are too close. 259 00:12:35,858 --> 00:12:37,680 Then you accuse her of being a killer. 260 00:12:37,808 --> 00:12:40,303 Will you stop at nothing to drive a wedge between us? 261 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,553 No, Stan, look at the evidence! 262 00:12:44,595 --> 00:12:46,600 I don't have time for your craziness. 263 00:12:46,926 --> 00:12:48,593 - Roger! - I'm sorry, Francine. 264 00:12:48,715 --> 00:12:50,140 He's a big, scary man. 265 00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:52,373 Plus, his mother kills men and eats them. 266 00:12:52,497 --> 00:12:53,780 - She hem? - No. 267 00:12:53,908 --> 00:12:56,100 It's called exaggeration and we all do it. 268 00:12:56,227 --> 00:12:59,003 Oh, my God! We have to warn Hercules! 269 00:13:01,217 --> 00:13:03,950 - Klaus, where's Betty? - Hercules just picked her up. 270 00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:05,960 They went to Les Pantalons Fancie for dinner. 271 00:13:06,596 --> 00:13:08,613 Francine, they're on date number three! 272 00:13:08,736 --> 00:13:11,843 - We have to go save Hercules! - And we have to go in disguise. 273 00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:14,331 Right, 'cause otherwise Betty would recognize us. 274 00:13:14,457 --> 00:13:15,940 I guess, if you need a reason, 275 00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:19,260 I just need to justify my dry cleaning carousel to my accountant. 276 00:13:19,385 --> 00:13:22,490 - You have an accountant? - I have an accountant costume. 277 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,963 What's going on? I can't hardly see. 278 00:13:31,088 --> 00:13:33,062 They seem to be having a good time. 279 00:13:33,305 --> 00:13:34,720 What is her plan? 280 00:13:34,845 --> 00:13:37,593 How is she gonna do this in a public place? 281 00:13:37,935 --> 00:13:39,852 That guy's big head's in my way. 282 00:13:39,978 --> 00:13:42,090 Hey, Easter Island! Move your fat head! 283 00:13:42,547 --> 00:13:44,932 Oh, I know you didn't just shush me. 284 00:13:45,056 --> 00:13:47,122 Ooh, look, girl! He's going to the bathroom. 285 00:13:55,716 --> 00:13:57,071 And she's following him. 286 00:13:57,195 --> 00:13:59,842 She right behind you! Do not go in there, Hercules! 287 00:14:00,086 --> 00:14:02,720 That poor man. This is all my fault. 288 00:14:02,845 --> 00:14:05,051 - We've got to go save him! - I agree. 289 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:08,791 Rightafter my soufflé comes, I will join you and we will save him 290 00:14:11,055 --> 00:14:13,601 What's this? Honey butter? This is a good roll. 291 00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:24,661 Hercules! I'm coming! 292 00:14:29,598 --> 00:14:30,531 Betty! 293 00:14:34,076 --> 00:14:35,791 It's over, Betty! 294 00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:38,293 Stan! 295 00:14:41,335 --> 00:14:42,942 Francine, I can explain 296 00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,682 She's my mommy! 297 00:14:46,007 --> 00:14:47,843 So for 35 years, 298 00:14:47,967 --> 00:14:50,210 you've been killing your mother's dates? 299 00:14:50,336 --> 00:14:53,662 No, I've been abducting them and dumping them on an uncharted island. 300 00:14:53,787 --> 00:14:56,293 Killing them? You've seen too many movies. 301 00:14:57,275 --> 00:15:00,341 After my father left us, my mother was devastated. 302 00:15:01,536 --> 00:15:02,870 I was all she had, 303 00:15:02,995 --> 00:15:05,282 and I did everything I could to keep her happy. 304 00:15:09,155 --> 00:15:11,331 But then she started dating again, 305 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:14,650 and I knew these men would just break her heart, like my father did. 306 00:15:15,186 --> 00:15:18,082 So I did what any rational, loving son would do. 307 00:15:18,205 --> 00:15:21,463 When they took her out, I took them out. 308 00:15:44,305 --> 00:15:45,783 Oh, my God! 309 00:15:45,906 --> 00:15:48,260 I have an amazing capacity for love. 310 00:15:48,386 --> 00:15:50,330 Anyway, gotta go kidnap a Greek guy. 311 00:15:50,455 --> 00:15:52,082 Stan, come back! 312 00:15:53,337 --> 00:15:54,830 Where's my mom and Hercules? 313 00:15:56,285 --> 00:15:59,082 I might lose my toes to diabetes, but it was worth it! 314 00:15:59,285 --> 00:16:00,463 Roger, where's Betty? 315 00:16:00,666 --> 00:16:01,993 Oh, she left with the Greek. 316 00:16:02,117 --> 00:16:03,893 I guess there was some craziness in the bathroom 317 00:16:04,015 --> 00:16:06,833 he was all like,"Life's too short-- I'm takin' my lady to Greece!" 318 00:16:06,957 --> 00:16:07,690 And she was like, 319 00:16:07,817 --> 00:16:10,973 "I was so scared you weren't gonna come back from the bathroom. I love you." 320 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,331 Then he yelled, "Oprah!" 321 00:16:12,456 --> 00:16:14,602 and I dropped a peppermint and I missed the rest. 322 00:16:14,846 --> 00:16:17,220 Oh, my God, he'staking her to Greece?! 323 00:16:17,346 --> 00:16:19,903 - I'm comin', Momma! - Stan! 324 00:16:24,715 --> 00:16:26,332 We need to get to the airport! 325 00:16:26,455 --> 00:16:29,221 You go, I gotta get home. I got termpapers to grade. 326 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,690 Klaus, guess what? 327 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:34,842 I went online and found out there's a cure for ick! 328 00:16:34,965 --> 00:16:37,003 You can buy it at any pet store. Look. 329 00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,451 A cure. Hooray. 330 00:16:39,706 --> 00:16:41,292 I had no idea. 331 00:16:41,557 --> 00:16:45,071 That is something of which I am just now learning. 332 00:16:45,766 --> 00:16:47,792 Oh, my God. You knew. 333 00:16:47,916 --> 00:16:49,491 You knew there wasa cure for ick. 334 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,763 What? Th-th-that-that's crazy. 335 00:16:52,966 --> 00:16:56,233 Why would I infect you and not tell yout here's a cure? 336 00:16:56,356 --> 00:16:58,243 So, your friends would shun you 337 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:02,062 and you'd be forced to come home early and spend timewith me for a change? 338 00:17:03,468 --> 00:17:04,793 How absurd. 339 00:17:04,918 --> 00:17:07,260 Listen to how crazy absurd you sound. 340 00:17:08,136 --> 00:17:10,372 Do you want to make cookies with me? 341 00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:13,532 That's exactly why you did it! You're sick! 342 00:17:13,777 --> 00:17:14,990 You're sick. 343 00:17:16,366 --> 00:17:18,790 Get out! Go back to your world! 344 00:17:23,636 --> 00:17:25,093 Klaus? What's wrong? 345 00:17:26,247 --> 00:17:28,701 Oh, nothing. lt's, it's just... 346 00:17:29,036 --> 00:17:33,050 I haven't felt the touch of another human being in six years. 347 00:17:33,296 --> 00:17:35,262 Oh, you poor thing. 348 00:17:38,538 --> 00:17:40,482 Fish can't get herpes, can they? 349 00:17:42,516 --> 00:17:44,572 All right, what's the fastest way to the airport? 350 00:17:45,016 --> 00:17:47,632 Should I take the freeway or should I take surface streets? 351 00:17:47,758 --> 00:17:49,210 Surface streets or freeway? 352 00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:52,612 Surface streets or freeway? Surface streets or freeway? 353 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,841 - Freeway. - Surface streets. 354 00:17:56,696 --> 00:17:58,863 Damn it! Come on! It's green! 355 00:17:59,117 --> 00:18:01,562 I need to make this light! Get off your phone! 356 00:18:01,687 --> 00:18:04,080 I have to... and now it's red. Oh, bravo. Bravo! 357 00:18:05,776 --> 00:18:09,130 - Has the 8:00 to Athens left yet? - They're boarding now. 358 00:18:11,408 --> 00:18:13,671 Excuse me. Trying to merge. 359 00:18:13,946 --> 00:18:16,600 Not trying to get ahead of anybody. Just merging. 360 00:18:17,218 --> 00:18:18,912 This isn't a contest. **** you! 361 00:18:19,175 --> 00:18:21,153 Fine! I'll take the shoulder! 362 00:18:22,088 --> 00:18:25,101 Excuse me. Trying to merge. I'm just trying to... **** you! 363 00:18:36,666 --> 00:18:38,100 I'm coming, Momma. 364 00:18:41,536 --> 00:18:42,793 Okay. 365 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:45,232 First time peeing in an airplane. 366 00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:47,780 You're a little nervous. There's no shame in that. 367 00:18:47,905 --> 00:18:49,211 Just relax, and... 368 00:18:55,448 --> 00:18:57,342 Sir, may I see your ticket? 369 00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:59,741 Blanket? Blanket? Blanket? 370 00:19:00,357 --> 00:19:03,172 Francine?! But how did you...? Freeway! 371 00:19:03,405 --> 00:19:06,781 Stan, this is ridiculous. You have to leave your mother alone. 372 00:19:06,906 --> 00:19:10,042 I will, just as soon as I ditch Hercules on a deserted island. 373 00:19:10,476 --> 00:19:11,763 Attention, everyone! 374 00:19:11,888 --> 00:19:14,761 Let's all give a big "Opa!" to Betty and Hercules, 375 00:19:14,886 --> 00:19:17,002 who've just decided to get married! 376 00:19:20,238 --> 00:19:22,593 - No. - You see, Stan? 377 00:19:22,717 --> 00:19:24,403 Look how happy she is. 378 00:19:24,527 --> 00:19:27,073 There was a time when you two needed each other, 379 00:19:27,196 --> 00:19:30,510 but she's moved on and you have to do the same. 380 00:19:30,638 --> 00:19:32,081 Let her go. 381 00:19:36,236 --> 00:19:38,971 - Or I can stab him in the neck. - No! 382 00:19:39,218 --> 00:19:40,850 Don't touch my mommy! 383 00:19:42,697 --> 00:19:44,942 What do you think you're doing, young man? 384 00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:47,161 - Saving you. - Saving me? 385 00:19:47,288 --> 00:19:48,730 I don't need to be saved. 386 00:19:48,975 --> 00:19:51,512 - But Momma... - Dit! You've been the perfect son, 387 00:19:51,637 --> 00:19:55,433 but I finally have a chance at happiness and I'm taking it. 388 00:19:55,815 --> 00:19:57,151 But what about me? 389 00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:00,480 Honey, you're the luckiest guy in the world. 390 00:20:00,606 --> 00:20:02,820 You have a woman who loves you. 391 00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:04,421 -You? - No! 392 00:20:04,546 --> 00:20:08,601 The wonderful woman who's put up with us for all these years. 393 00:20:13,417 --> 00:20:15,621 Now, I'm gonna need you to sit back down 394 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,340 because there's an air marshal pointing a gun at your head. 395 00:20:19,387 --> 00:20:21,740 Look, I know I was about to attempt murder, 396 00:20:21,865 --> 00:20:25,341 but it's cool, because I'm about to reconcile emotionally with my wife. 397 00:20:29,018 --> 00:20:31,060 A toast to the happy couple. 398 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:34,742 - And to my number one gal. - Oh, Stan. 399 00:20:35,185 --> 00:20:37,361 - Betty! - That's so strange. 400 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,560 Sounds like someone shouting my name. 401 00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:41,960 It's the call of the Greek Sirens. 402 00:20:42,086 --> 00:20:44,493 They try to ensnare you in their web of love. 403 00:20:44,735 --> 00:20:46,642 I think it is working. 404 00:20:47,897 --> 00:20:49,953 It's working on me, too. 405 00:21:03,185 --> 00:21:05,390 You guys wantto keep it down? I'm trying to watch TV. 406 00:21:07,437 --> 00:21:08,783 I've gone crazy. 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net