1 00:00:32,794 --> 00:00:34,407 Steve, is that Irish Spring? 2 00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:35,945 Smells great, 3 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,261 super foresty. 4 00:00:37,386 --> 00:00:40,498 Thanks. I've been using it so long I don't even notice it anymore. 5 00:00:50,663 --> 00:00:54,005 - Look at Steve Smith. - Is it supposed to be curved like that? 6 00:00:55,126 --> 00:00:56,681 Get that thing straightened out! 7 00:01:01,924 --> 00:01:04,674 What are they talking about? It's not curved. Is it, fellas? 8 00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:07,357 All right, first, I'm not looking down. And second, 9 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,457 they're talking about your spine. 10 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,225 You've got scoliosis. 11 00:01:11,365 --> 00:01:13,365 What? Why didn't you tell me earlier? 12 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,490 I tried. 13 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,178 I keep dropping hints. 14 00:01:16,303 --> 00:01:18,494 I even started calling you Steve-iosis. 15 00:01:18,619 --> 00:01:19,870 Not to my face. 16 00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,585 No, behind your back. 17 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,103 Behind your creepy, deformed back. 18 00:01:27,431 --> 00:01:29,243 There it is, pretty as a picture: 19 00:01:29,368 --> 00:01:30,431 scoliosis. 20 00:01:30,556 --> 00:01:31,882 What do we do, amputate? 21 00:01:32,121 --> 00:01:34,050 Actually, all he needs is a back support. 22 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,378 That doesn't sound so bad. 23 00:01:36,621 --> 00:01:38,748 Is it like one of those belts weightlifters wear 24 00:01:38,873 --> 00:01:40,933 at the Olympics so they don't blow out their rectums? 25 00:01:41,225 --> 00:01:42,305 Not exactly. 26 00:01:42,871 --> 00:01:45,372 Pretty great, huh? I call her the "Chick Magnet", 27 00:01:45,497 --> 00:01:49,024 ironically, of course. No, no girl wants any of that! 28 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,046 All right, we're all packed. You ready to go, Francine? 29 00:01:56,171 --> 00:01:58,232 How can I spend a week at a spa 30 00:01:58,357 --> 00:02:02,037 when I've just learned that my son has a horrible deformity? 31 00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:04,257 Mom, I don't think it's a "horrible deformity". 32 00:02:04,382 --> 00:02:07,687 So sweet, trying to make me feel better. 33 00:02:08,111 --> 00:02:09,299 Mom, we have to go. 34 00:02:09,424 --> 00:02:12,646 How often does Roger win free passes to a first-class spa? 35 00:02:12,771 --> 00:02:15,738 - Once isn't enough? - No, I meant it as a good thing. 36 00:02:15,863 --> 00:02:17,524 Well, that's not how it sounded. 37 00:02:17,649 --> 00:02:20,039 You have a way about you, Hayley, that just... 38 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:21,598 turns me off. 39 00:02:21,803 --> 00:02:24,761 - Mom, it's fine. Just go. - Well, okay. 40 00:02:24,992 --> 00:02:26,979 I mean, it's not like it's my fault. 41 00:02:27,104 --> 00:02:29,672 Your father was the one who threw footballs at my stomach 42 00:02:29,797 --> 00:02:32,099 when I was pregnant so you'd be good at sports. 43 00:02:32,224 --> 00:02:34,111 Instead it just made you a cripple. 44 00:02:34,583 --> 00:02:36,822 - Bye! - Don't eat my yogurt! 45 00:02:37,868 --> 00:02:40,067 Dad, there is no way I'm wearing... 46 00:02:40,557 --> 00:02:42,522 And look, we can hang your allergy pills here, 47 00:02:42,647 --> 00:02:45,956 your asthma inhaler there, and... Wait. How are you gonna go to the bathroom? 48 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,198 I know. I'll just insert a catheter. 49 00:02:51,513 --> 00:02:52,725 Rise and shi...! 50 00:02:53,233 --> 00:02:56,173 - Steve, what are you doing? - I wanted a glass of water. 51 00:02:56,298 --> 00:02:58,365 I've been down here since midnight. 52 00:02:58,619 --> 00:03:00,804 There we go. Now, let's get you ready for school. 53 00:03:00,985 --> 00:03:02,998 No way. It's social suicide. 54 00:03:03,123 --> 00:03:05,265 - I'm not going. - Steve, sit down. 55 00:03:12,236 --> 00:03:15,112 Son, in life, it's not what's on the outside that matters. 56 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:18,049 It's what's on the inside. No one cares how you look. 57 00:03:18,174 --> 00:03:19,988 - Come on, Dad. - I'm serious. 58 00:03:20,113 --> 00:03:22,106 In fact, you should be proud of your deformities. 59 00:03:22,231 --> 00:03:24,965 Look at little Helen Keller. Deaf, dumb, and blind, 60 00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:28,191 and she wrote that whole diary in her attic during World War II. 61 00:03:28,316 --> 00:03:30,167 She doesn't sound so dumb to me. 62 00:03:40,119 --> 00:03:41,637 Different! 63 00:03:43,141 --> 00:03:44,014 Freak. 64 00:03:48,690 --> 00:03:49,519 Snot? 65 00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:51,878 I'm finally part of the group! 66 00:03:52,003 --> 00:03:53,398 Don't ruin this for me! 67 00:03:57,414 --> 00:03:59,864 I am so looking forward to this week. 68 00:04:00,185 --> 00:04:03,091 - Why is your bag so light? - Because you're not in it yet. 69 00:04:03,216 --> 00:04:05,202 You want me to get in your suitcase? 70 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,500 That's how we're gonna sneak you by the front desk. 71 00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,581 The radio station only gave me two passes. 72 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:10,999 Are you kidding me? 73 00:04:11,124 --> 00:04:13,321 - Then why did you invite both of us? - Gee, I don't know. 74 00:04:13,446 --> 00:04:16,072 You think it might have something to do with me being drunk all the time? 75 00:04:16,197 --> 00:04:18,128 I'm an alcoholic. I have a problem. 76 00:04:18,253 --> 00:04:20,948 I'm just not ready to deal with it yet. But I will. 77 00:04:21,073 --> 00:04:22,073 I promise. 78 00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:25,130 No more empty promises. No, sir. Not from this alcoholic. 79 00:04:25,255 --> 00:04:27,917 Now, hop in the suitcase and first round's on me. 80 00:04:31,002 --> 00:04:34,607 - Are these balloons full of heroin? - Those are not for you! 81 00:04:37,258 --> 00:04:38,819 Hi. Mr. Mustachios. 82 00:04:38,944 --> 00:04:40,699 And Mrs. Mustachios. 83 00:04:41,007 --> 00:04:42,507 Just the two of us. 84 00:04:42,632 --> 00:04:45,258 Right, our two radio contest winners. 85 00:04:45,383 --> 00:04:48,162 - Who's the big Nickelback fan? - Guilty! 86 00:04:48,384 --> 00:04:51,624 Well, you're lucky. We normally charge 1,800 bucks a head. 87 00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:55,052 And what if I gave you $1,800 and five cents? 88 00:04:55,322 --> 00:04:58,323 Why, I'd give you a nickel back! 89 00:04:58,448 --> 00:05:01,529 - You knew where I was headed! - I did! 90 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,931 I told you we'd be fine. 91 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,906 Stupid mean kids with their... 92 00:05:14,151 --> 00:05:15,977 beautiful straight spines. 93 00:05:16,327 --> 00:05:17,608 Oh, Dad's home. 94 00:05:18,042 --> 00:05:19,945 He can't be mad at me for leaving school early. 95 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,488 He'll understand when he sees what I've endured. 96 00:05:23,126 --> 00:05:25,786 Dad, I know it's only what's on the inside that matters, 97 00:05:25,911 --> 00:05:27,785 but I'm just not as strong as... 98 00:05:30,878 --> 00:05:32,118 You're bald? 99 00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:35,028 There's a kid on the football team with cancer 100 00:05:35,153 --> 00:05:37,915 so the whole defensive line shaved our heads in solidarity. 101 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,659 It actually works out great during two-a-days, keeps your head cool. 102 00:05:40,784 --> 00:05:42,795 - What? - That was just nonsense. I'm bald. 103 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,910 I can't believe it! How long have you been hiding this? 104 00:05:46,035 --> 00:05:48,362 Well, it all started in high school. 105 00:05:52,481 --> 00:05:54,125 It all started in high school. 106 00:05:56,970 --> 00:06:00,604 I had horrific acne and was ridiculed mercilessly for it. 107 00:06:01,226 --> 00:06:04,638 I tried everything to get rid of it, but nothing seemed to work. 108 00:06:06,415 --> 00:06:08,664 When it came time for college, I saw an opportunity 109 00:06:08,789 --> 00:06:12,432 to reinvent myself and give myself a second chance for a happy life. 110 00:06:12,557 --> 00:06:15,635 So I decided to be the guinea pig for a new acne drug. 111 00:06:16,246 --> 00:06:17,747 It worked perfectly. 112 00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:25,009 My first day of college was the best day of my life. 113 00:06:25,956 --> 00:06:27,787 My second day was the worst. 114 00:06:28,408 --> 00:06:30,847 The acne medicine caused your hair to fall out! 115 00:06:32,237 --> 00:06:33,375 How did you know? 116 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:36,150 You're telling a story about how you went bald. 117 00:06:36,608 --> 00:06:38,437 It would been nice if you let me finish. 118 00:06:38,562 --> 00:06:39,800 - Go ahead. - I will. 119 00:06:40,379 --> 00:06:43,360 Apparently, a side effect of the acne treatment was total loss of... 120 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,563 You know what, forget it. The story's over. 121 00:06:45,688 --> 00:06:48,740 Dad, I don't understand. Why do you wear a wig? 122 00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:51,110 Because the hair gave me confidence. 123 00:06:51,419 --> 00:06:54,095 And I was able to parlay that confidence into meeting your mother, 124 00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:56,498 starting a family, and getting a job at the CIA. 125 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:59,692 - Wait, Mom doesn't even know? - Of course not. No one does. 126 00:06:59,817 --> 00:07:02,545 Especially not your mother. She'd lose all interest in me. 127 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,759 She loves my hair. She tells me every time we're ba-ba-bangin'! 128 00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:08,318 Ah, gross! 129 00:07:08,443 --> 00:07:11,507 Dad, you said the only thing that matters is what's on the inside! 130 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,941 Grow up! The outside's the only thing that matters! 131 00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:15,691 Nobody cares what's on the inside! 132 00:07:15,816 --> 00:07:18,064 If they did, I would have married that smart fat girl 133 00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:20,548 I used to have all those deep conversations with. 134 00:07:20,876 --> 00:07:22,613 You're such a hypocrite. 135 00:07:26,761 --> 00:07:30,574 Roger, these treatments look amazing, but I'm really nervous. 136 00:07:30,699 --> 00:07:32,945 - What if they catch us? - They won't catch us. 137 00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:35,907 Look, we have two wristbands, so two of us can be at the spa 138 00:07:36,032 --> 00:07:38,625 while the third one stays up here trying on Hayley's clothes 139 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:41,710 - and laughing at himself in the mirror. - I guess we could take turns. 140 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:43,202 Of course. It'll be easy. 141 00:07:43,327 --> 00:07:46,524 Now get over here and help me finish this. Don't Portuguese out on me. 142 00:07:47,143 --> 00:07:49,620 I'm starting a new ethnic slur. Did it take? 143 00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,273 Quiet! Quiet! 144 00:07:55,235 --> 00:07:56,888 Turlington, spa detective. 145 00:07:58,024 --> 00:07:59,660 I'm Mrs. Mustachios! 146 00:08:00,033 --> 00:08:02,801 That's quite a lot of food for just the two of you. 147 00:08:05,188 --> 00:08:06,259 Still warm. 148 00:08:06,973 --> 00:08:07,730 So, 149 00:08:08,393 --> 00:08:09,905 - you're married? - We sure are! 150 00:08:10,149 --> 00:08:11,907 That's sweet. Kiss. 151 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:16,036 I'm told it's not uncommon for married persons to kiss. 152 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:18,372 Kiss. 153 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,054 It's okay. We'll leave our underwear on. 154 00:08:30,103 --> 00:08:32,761 Honey, not in front of the detective. 155 00:08:34,164 --> 00:08:36,568 All right. Everything checks out here... 156 00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:38,168 for now. 157 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,608 That was so close! I think he's on to us! 158 00:08:42,733 --> 00:08:45,073 Get in your suitcase and don't come out till you hear me say, 159 00:08:45,198 --> 00:08:47,109 "I'm done. Go clean up. You disgust me." 160 00:08:49,984 --> 00:08:51,667 Stupid... brace! 161 00:08:52,192 --> 00:08:54,490 - Hey, buddy. - What do you want? 162 00:08:54,673 --> 00:08:57,119 Look, I know you're a little miffed with your old man, 163 00:08:57,244 --> 00:08:59,849 but I got something that's gonna make everything all right. 164 00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:01,195 Stickers! 165 00:09:01,486 --> 00:09:05,483 Look, what we got here: Dora the Explorer, a puffy unicorn, and, 166 00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:08,890 - looks like you're a Chiquita bana! - Dad, stop! 167 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:11,080 I also got you a rearview mirror! 168 00:09:11,746 --> 00:09:15,185 Trying to pass on the left! I know it's safe because I see that you see me! 169 00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:16,627 Knock it off already! 170 00:09:17,539 --> 00:09:19,652 "Warning: Driver Has PMS." 171 00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:22,853 Dad, just leave me alone. 172 00:09:23,022 --> 00:09:24,429 Steve, come on. 173 00:09:24,554 --> 00:09:27,201 You know, I might have left school early yesterday, 174 00:09:27,326 --> 00:09:28,804 but I did learn something: 175 00:09:28,929 --> 00:09:31,075 where I got my weak backbone from. 176 00:09:32,711 --> 00:09:36,711 Caution: Objects in mirror may be sadder than they appear. 177 00:09:41,183 --> 00:09:43,185 Forget it, Dad. I'm not going to school. 178 00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:44,443 That's fine. I just... 179 00:09:44,568 --> 00:09:48,003 thought you might want to say good-bye to your old man before he goes to work. 180 00:09:49,828 --> 00:09:51,872 You're going to work... bald? 181 00:09:51,997 --> 00:09:55,047 I'd rather be bald than be a hypocrite in the eyes of my son. 182 00:09:55,185 --> 00:09:57,420 Really? You'd do this for me? 183 00:09:58,077 --> 00:10:01,125 We're gonna go out there and face the world as we are. 184 00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:04,300 You know, I think people might just surprise us. 185 00:10:06,409 --> 00:10:08,974 It was so awful! They called me everything: 186 00:10:09,099 --> 00:10:11,442 Chrome Dome, Baldy, Cue Ball, 187 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:13,417 Leukemia Skywalker! 188 00:10:13,542 --> 00:10:15,380 There, there. It's okay. 189 00:10:15,505 --> 00:10:16,905 It was relentless! 190 00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,838 Turns out a lot of high-level, neo-conservative Republicans 191 00:10:19,963 --> 00:10:22,505 in the intelligence community can be very mean! 192 00:10:22,630 --> 00:10:24,651 Someone drew three dots on your head? 193 00:10:24,776 --> 00:10:27,331 Those are the finger holes in my bowling ball. 194 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,945 The Secretary of Energy did that! 195 00:10:30,442 --> 00:10:31,629 So, how was your day? 196 00:10:31,818 --> 00:10:35,184 Well, this sophomore girl got killed in a drunk driving accident 197 00:10:35,309 --> 00:10:37,717 and we spent the afternoon sharing our thoughts about her. 198 00:10:37,842 --> 00:10:41,055 Took the focus right off my brace, so yeah, it was a pretty good day. 199 00:10:41,259 --> 00:10:42,369 You're lucky. 200 00:10:42,494 --> 00:10:45,885 Work was awful, but it doesn't even matter 'cause I'm not going back! 201 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:49,035 - I'm never going back! - Dad, the worst part's over. 202 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,698 There's nothing they can do to you that hasn't already been done. 203 00:10:51,823 --> 00:10:54,504 - I guess. - Look, Dad, I trusted you. 204 00:10:54,861 --> 00:10:57,161 Now it's time for you to trust me. 205 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:01,207 - For supper, will you make me...? - I will make you Mickey Mouse pancakes. 206 00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:06,363 The devil invented stress, 207 00:11:06,488 --> 00:11:09,418 but God struck back with the sandalwood foot scrub. 208 00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:11,752 What... What are you doing? 209 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:14,768 We're leaving. We're sick of having to share just one wristband. 210 00:11:14,893 --> 00:11:18,135 Yeah, all this sneaking around is not relaxing at all. 211 00:11:18,304 --> 00:11:20,904 Okay. Go ahead. Walk right through the lobby. 212 00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:24,082 But what if that detective sees you with someone other than me? 213 00:11:24,207 --> 00:11:26,081 It'll cost you 1,800 bucks. 214 00:11:26,206 --> 00:11:28,103 Look, they brought my daily turkey. 215 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,110 He's right. How are we going to get past Turlington? 216 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,067 Delicious. 217 00:11:35,244 --> 00:11:36,819 Sorry you're leaving so soon. 218 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:41,272 - Let me help you with your bag. - No, I don't need your help! 219 00:11:41,397 --> 00:11:43,785 I mean, I decided to stay! 220 00:11:44,238 --> 00:11:45,722 Thanks just the same! 221 00:11:45,994 --> 00:11:49,458 Turlington, six more cans of pistachios have gone missing. 222 00:11:49,649 --> 00:11:52,090 Too many people have a key to the pistachio closet. 223 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,115 That's what you said four weeks ago. 224 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,717 I can't help but think your father would've had this case solved by now. 225 00:11:59,561 --> 00:12:01,090 Sorry, Mr. Chimdale. 226 00:12:04,176 --> 00:12:06,267 Hey, Lorraine, do you know what this is? 227 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,968 - Is that a bird balloon? - It's an eagle, Lorraine. 228 00:12:09,093 --> 00:12:10,218 A bald eagle. 229 00:12:10,343 --> 00:12:12,408 Proud and majestic, like my father. 230 00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:14,815 Who I think could use a little cheering up today. 231 00:12:20,985 --> 00:12:24,609 Okay, this flight suit can withstand 200 miles of wind force. 232 00:12:25,476 --> 00:12:27,384 He's wearing his hair. 233 00:12:27,611 --> 00:12:28,869 He lied to me! 234 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,931 I will now attempt a simple coordination test with these blocks. 235 00:12:38,566 --> 00:12:41,259 I will now attempt to poop out these blocks. 236 00:12:46,593 --> 00:12:47,870 You lied to me! 237 00:12:48,913 --> 00:12:50,476 I saw you in the wind tunnel. 238 00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:52,559 This whole week I've been getting my ass kicked 239 00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:54,606 because you said we were in this together! 240 00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:57,915 - Son, now take it easy. - I will not take it easy! 241 00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,979 And you know who else won't take it easy? 242 00:13:00,104 --> 00:13:02,147 Mom! When I tell her you're bald! 243 00:13:02,272 --> 00:13:03,540 You wouldn't dare. 244 00:13:03,665 --> 00:13:06,176 I'm on my way to Chimdale right now! 245 00:13:07,607 --> 00:13:08,950 You poor, naive, 246 00:13:09,075 --> 00:13:11,794 crooked-backed SOB. Who's your mother going to believe? 247 00:13:11,919 --> 00:13:14,250 Her faithful husband or the son she didn't want? 248 00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:16,670 - She didn't want me? - No, she did. 249 00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:19,631 But you believed me just now. When I tell your mother you're lying, 250 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,828 she'll believe me, too. I can be very convincing. 251 00:13:24,434 --> 00:13:27,262 The Secretary of Energy drew a bowling ball on my head! 252 00:13:29,056 --> 00:13:31,486 - You're a monster! - And you're in over your head. 253 00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:32,924 I don't think so, Dad. 254 00:13:33,049 --> 00:13:35,292 'Cause I've got something you don't. 255 00:13:35,799 --> 00:13:37,088 Your hair! 256 00:13:39,362 --> 00:13:41,895 You know, Steve, I don't say it often enough, 257 00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:46,528 - but I love you. - And the Oscar goes to... someone else! 258 00:13:46,741 --> 00:13:48,535 Damn it. When I find you, I'll kill you! 259 00:14:05,441 --> 00:14:08,077 - Roger, where do you keep your wigs? - Why should I tell you? 260 00:14:08,202 --> 00:14:10,163 Because I need to get them appraised. 261 00:14:10,288 --> 00:14:12,980 - For insurance purposes. - Finally. Thank you. 262 00:14:13,105 --> 00:14:15,115 Some of them are on tour with Angela Lansbury 263 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,897 and the rest are down in my wig cellar. 264 00:14:19,855 --> 00:14:21,318 Do you have any men's wigs? 265 00:14:21,815 --> 00:14:25,489 I got a David Spade/Ellen DeGeneres. I don't know if it's clean. 266 00:14:27,606 --> 00:14:29,506 Hey, look! It's Owen Wilson! 267 00:14:30,794 --> 00:14:32,777 Oh, my neck is killing me. 268 00:14:33,045 --> 00:14:35,794 Being trapped in this room is stressing me out. 269 00:14:35,919 --> 00:14:37,042 Look, Frannie. 270 00:14:37,436 --> 00:14:40,610 I know you're hurting. I just want you to know I'm here for you and... 271 00:14:41,770 --> 00:14:43,132 Oh, my God. 272 00:14:43,982 --> 00:14:45,471 I think you fixed it. 273 00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:49,227 Mom? 274 00:14:49,352 --> 00:14:51,048 I don't understand. It should've worked. 275 00:14:51,173 --> 00:14:52,953 I learned that move from a chiropractor 276 00:14:53,078 --> 00:14:55,104 in his van in the alley behind the 7-11... 277 00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,895 Boy, I think I raped a guy. 278 00:14:57,299 --> 00:14:59,677 There you go. This mud bath will make you feel better. 279 00:14:59,802 --> 00:15:03,806 I should get back before somebody comes and sees we only have 2 spa wristbands. 280 00:15:04,287 --> 00:15:05,028 Crap! 281 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,155 Don't we look cozy. 282 00:15:09,178 --> 00:15:11,243 - Quite cozy. - Think I'll join you. 283 00:15:13,156 --> 00:15:14,574 Forgot my locker key. 284 00:15:16,788 --> 00:15:17,709 Found it. 285 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,806 It's bungeed to my wrist. 286 00:15:21,327 --> 00:15:23,054 Forgot my water bottle. 287 00:15:25,363 --> 00:15:27,050 Roger, she's suffocating! 288 00:15:27,175 --> 00:15:30,038 You want to pay the 1,800 bucks if Turlington finds her? 289 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,309 - Big breath, sweetie. - But... 290 00:15:37,746 --> 00:15:38,772 There we go. 291 00:15:39,123 --> 00:15:40,737 I guess I misjudged you folks. 292 00:15:40,996 --> 00:15:43,411 I thought you were trying to hide something. 293 00:15:43,669 --> 00:15:45,716 Us? Oh, that's so silly! 294 00:15:48,187 --> 00:15:49,707 - She bit me! - What? 295 00:15:51,502 --> 00:15:54,910 You were going to let me die for $1,800? 296 00:15:57,189 --> 00:15:59,377 There's three of you. 297 00:15:59,502 --> 00:16:01,792 Fine, you got us. We're busted! 298 00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,621 Well, we might be able to work something out if you're... 299 00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,171 wantin' to do something for me. 300 00:16:06,378 --> 00:16:09,521 - You girls head up to the room. - I don't want you to have to see this. 301 00:16:09,646 --> 00:16:11,198 That won't be necessary. 302 00:16:12,253 --> 00:16:13,305 Then... what? 303 00:16:13,615 --> 00:16:16,317 I need you to help me catch this pistachio thief. 304 00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:20,048 I've been over this case every which way and nothing makes sense. 305 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,359 I've even rounded up all the keys to the closet. 306 00:16:22,484 --> 00:16:24,378 So now there's only two people that have one: 307 00:16:24,503 --> 00:16:25,520 Me and... 308 00:16:26,587 --> 00:16:27,752 Mr. Chimdale? 309 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:30,886 Well done, Ron. 310 00:16:31,011 --> 00:16:34,279 I knew I had to devise the most difficult case in spa history 311 00:16:34,404 --> 00:16:38,245 to make you into the greatest spa detective since your father. 312 00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:40,540 And now you are. 313 00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:49,682 Daddy? 314 00:16:50,014 --> 00:16:51,616 Did you hear that, Daddy? 315 00:16:55,627 --> 00:16:58,131 I just miss him so much. 316 00:16:58,256 --> 00:16:59,726 We all do, son. 317 00:17:01,997 --> 00:17:03,030 We all do. 318 00:17:03,908 --> 00:17:05,078 This is crazy. 319 00:17:05,203 --> 00:17:06,203 I know! 320 00:17:06,510 --> 00:17:09,251 Pistachios rhymes with Mustachios! 321 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,535 Honey, you tire me. 322 00:17:16,379 --> 00:17:18,272 I'm almost to Mom, sucker! 323 00:17:18,397 --> 00:17:21,085 I can already smell the Chimdale salt flats. 324 00:17:21,210 --> 00:17:23,904 - How are you getting to Chimdale? - That's for me to know 325 00:17:24,029 --> 00:17:27,153 - and you to find out. - Steve, please, I'm begging you! 326 00:17:34,866 --> 00:17:37,598 Behold, Mother! Your husband is a giant... 327 00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:40,355 Wait a minute. This isn't Chimdale. 328 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,652 Oh, brownies! 329 00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:51,528 I'll say hello to Chimdale for you! 330 00:17:54,117 --> 00:17:55,084 Damn it! 331 00:17:56,539 --> 00:17:58,193 Official CIA business. 332 00:18:10,432 --> 00:18:13,299 - Give me back my hair, Steve! - Not a chance! 333 00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:20,715 You just missed the exit! 334 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,101 Smooth move, bald-lax! 335 00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:34,496 Hello, good sir. 336 00:18:34,621 --> 00:18:37,360 Would you mind dropping me off at the Chimdale Spa? 337 00:18:37,498 --> 00:18:39,924 All right, but I'm getting some ribs first. 338 00:18:40,049 --> 00:18:41,936 What are you doing? I don't have time for ribs! 339 00:18:42,061 --> 00:18:46,063 You don't have time for the best barbecue ribs in the state? 340 00:18:47,113 --> 00:18:49,750 Are we talking cue right now? We talking cue? 341 00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:52,098 'Cause I got news for you. I only know two things: 342 00:18:52,223 --> 00:18:54,060 perpetual virginity and ribs. 343 00:18:54,185 --> 00:18:57,330 And the best ribs in the state are at Way Crazy's in Langley Falls. 344 00:18:57,455 --> 00:18:59,815 Please, my mother's a Baptist minister 345 00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:02,855 and she wouldn't scrub her ass with Way Crazy's. 346 00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:06,617 Yo mama sounds like a messed-up bitch. 347 00:19:09,099 --> 00:19:11,319 You were right about those ribs, Justin. 348 00:19:11,444 --> 00:19:14,547 But I'm pretty sure the Jews didn't know about 9/11. 349 00:19:22,712 --> 00:19:23,623 Got it! 350 00:19:23,948 --> 00:19:26,197 You almost had your old man, Steve. 351 00:19:26,322 --> 00:19:28,208 But it's time for you to go home. 352 00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:29,897 Fine, I'll go home. 353 00:19:30,325 --> 00:19:31,628 But just know this: 354 00:19:31,844 --> 00:19:33,463 you may have kept your hair... 355 00:19:33,726 --> 00:19:35,389 but you lost your son. 356 00:19:36,824 --> 00:19:38,019 Damn, Steve. 357 00:19:38,576 --> 00:19:39,576 Son, wait! 358 00:19:40,201 --> 00:19:41,263 You're right. 359 00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:43,389 Nothing's worth losing you. 360 00:19:43,654 --> 00:19:44,683 Not even... 361 00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:46,226 my hair. 362 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,652 - What are you doing? - Showing your mother the real me. 363 00:19:59,856 --> 00:20:02,955 You were supposed to stop me! The gesture should've been enough! 364 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,939 Come on. Give me a break! You only have to wear that brace for six weeks. 365 00:20:06,064 --> 00:20:08,331 This is permanent! What do you want from me? 366 00:20:08,657 --> 00:20:11,375 Dad, all I want is for you to be the man 367 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,211 that you're asking me to be. 368 00:20:14,458 --> 00:20:15,568 Damn, Steve. 369 00:20:19,335 --> 00:20:21,052 Stan? Where's your hair? 370 00:20:21,273 --> 00:20:22,540 I don't have any. 371 00:20:22,665 --> 00:20:24,088 I am bald. 372 00:20:24,213 --> 00:20:26,181 I know. I mean, where's your wig? 373 00:20:26,587 --> 00:20:28,150 - What? - Your wig. 374 00:20:28,275 --> 00:20:29,893 You're not wearing it. Where is it? 375 00:20:30,149 --> 00:20:31,899 You mean you knew? 376 00:20:32,024 --> 00:20:34,149 - Yeah, we all knew. - I didn't know! 377 00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:36,567 Our general thinking was that you might overreact. 378 00:20:36,776 --> 00:20:38,528 I can't believe you knew. 379 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,543 I wasted all that time being ashamed for nothing? 380 00:20:43,715 --> 00:20:46,565 Here, Roger, I guess you can add this to your collection. 381 00:20:48,307 --> 00:20:49,405 Thank you. 382 00:20:51,781 --> 00:20:53,908 So now I'm going to be bald forever. 383 00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:56,295 And I'm going to be a better man in your eyes for it. 384 00:20:56,471 --> 00:20:58,314 - No, not really. - What? 385 00:20:58,539 --> 00:21:00,340 It doesn't matter to us if you've got hair. 386 00:21:00,657 --> 00:21:02,885 Yeah, Stan, I'm bald, and I made out with your wife. 387 00:21:03,094 --> 00:21:03,927 What? 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net