1
00:00:24,455 --> 00:00:26,150
Synchro: mpm
2
00:00:33,817 --> 00:00:34,817
Dad.
3
00:00:37,315 --> 00:00:38,315
Dad.
4
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:53,347
{pos(192,220)}Honey, it's 3:30.
5
00:00:53,472 --> 00:00:55,840
{pos(192,190)}You know your father
doesn't get home until 6:00.
6
00:00:56,379 --> 00:00:57,271
Right.
7
00:01:06,328 --> 00:01:08,082
{pos(192,220)}You know after a hard day at work,
8
00:01:08,207 --> 00:01:10,392
{pos(192,220)}I need 30 minutes
to go through the mail.
9
00:01:20,618 --> 00:01:22,052
So, what's on your mind, sport?
10
00:01:22,177 --> 00:01:24,862
{pos(192,190)}I signed us up
for a father-son bike race.
11
00:01:25,637 --> 00:01:27,231
{pos(192,220)}Well, that sounds like fun.
12
00:01:27,356 --> 00:01:29,391
{pos(192,220)}I bought us
matching Lycra bike pants.
13
00:01:29,516 --> 00:01:30,477
{pos(192,220)}Smalls.
14
00:01:30,602 --> 00:01:32,975
{pos(192,220)}We're going to look like
we got poured into these.
15
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:34,748
{pos(192,220)}I'm sorry, Steve, I can't do it.
16
00:01:34,873 --> 00:01:36,320
{pos(192,220)}What?
Why not?
17
00:01:37,091 --> 00:01:39,462
{pos(192,220)}- Little Danny Caulfield.
- Who's Danny...?
18
00:01:39,587 --> 00:01:41,720
{pos(192,220)}- My dead best friend!
- Oh, my God.
19
00:01:41,845 --> 00:01:43,795
{pos(192,190)}We rode our bikes everywhere.
20
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:47,168
{pos(192,220)}One day I was showboating down by
the railroad tracks, popping wheelies.
21
00:01:47,293 --> 00:01:48,981
{pos(192,220)}"Wheelie popping"
we used to call it.
22
00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:51,069
{pos(192,220)}I was like,
"Hey, Danny, look at me".
23
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,876
{pos(192,220)}And you know what Danny did?
He looked at me.
24
00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:57,393
{pos(192,220)}He looked at me for so long
he didn't see that dry cleaning van.
25
00:01:57,630 --> 00:01:58,654
{pos(192,220)}Next thing I knew,
26
00:01:58,779 --> 00:02:01,988
{pos(192,220)}the handlebars of his Huffy were
where his lungs were supposed to be.
27
00:02:02,113 --> 00:02:05,833
{pos(192,220)}Every time he'd breathe,
you'd hear a little "ring, ring".
28
00:02:05,958 --> 00:02:08,370
{pos(192,220)}It was cute until it got annoying.
29
00:02:10,269 --> 00:02:11,538
Roger, give me a Coke.
30
00:02:11,663 --> 00:02:13,758
- You got it... Diet Coke.
- I didn't say "diet."
31
00:02:13,927 --> 00:02:17,142
No, but your thighs did.
I heard you walking a mile away.
32
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:19,096
"Here comes Hayley,
here comes Hayley."
33
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:22,259
Roger, I'm screwed. I put off getting
an internship for my business class
34
00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:24,059
and now I only have a week left.
35
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:26,138
Well, why don't you intern here
at my bar?
36
00:02:26,263 --> 00:02:29,259
I need to have this form signed
by the owner of a real business.
37
00:02:29,384 --> 00:02:31,254
This is a real business.
38
00:02:31,525 --> 00:02:32,617
To wit.
39
00:02:33,438 --> 00:02:35,561
It's filled
with fingernail clippings.
40
00:02:35,686 --> 00:02:38,306
I mix 'em in with the wasabi peas.
No one notices.
41
00:02:38,431 --> 00:02:41,490
I also have a business license.
Probably should have started with that.
42
00:02:41,615 --> 00:02:43,422
Well, I guess this could work.
43
00:02:43,547 --> 00:02:45,539
I {just }don't want to flunk out
of junior college.
44
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,788
Why? I think you'd make
a wonderful pharmaceutical sales rep.
45
00:02:51,036 --> 00:02:52,186
God bless it!
46
00:02:58,773 --> 00:03:00,584
So you don't know
how to ride a bike.
47
00:03:00,709 --> 00:03:02,080
Why didn't you just say so?
48
00:03:02,205 --> 00:03:04,005
Because it's embarrassing.
49
00:03:04,206 --> 00:03:08,206
It was my father's job to teach me, but
no, he had more important stuff to do.
50
00:03:09,561 --> 00:03:12,114
Daddy, will you teach me
how to ride this bike?
51
00:03:12,239 --> 00:03:13,589
I'm in a meeting.
52
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:17,620
I've kept this stupid bike
all these years.
53
00:03:17,745 --> 00:03:21,051
Now it's a neglected, rusty mess,
just like my relationship with dad.
54
00:03:21,176 --> 00:03:23,276
This bike is a perfect metaphor.
55
00:03:23,663 --> 00:03:25,513
The streamers are my tears.
56
00:03:26,478 --> 00:03:28,457
Well, you can still learn
to ride a bike.
57
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,730
I've tried, Francine,
but every time I get on one,
58
00:03:31,855 --> 00:03:34,890
I get so mad at my dad,
I lose my concentration and fall.
59
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:38,586
Sounds like your father issues
are giving you {some kind of }a mental block.
60
00:03:38,711 --> 00:03:39,896
A mental block?
61
00:03:40,021 --> 00:03:41,762
Yeah, like me and spumoni.
62
00:03:42,392 --> 00:03:46,085
I know it's tri-colored ice cream,
but it sounds like pasta,
63
00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:47,946
and I can't get around that.
64
00:03:48,071 --> 00:03:50,608
I mean, my situation's hopeless,
65
00:03:50,733 --> 00:03:52,688
but you can talk to your dad.
66
00:03:52,813 --> 00:03:54,873
Good idea.
I'll just call him right now.
67
00:03:54,998 --> 00:03:56,699
{Wait, }I can't
because I don't know where he is
68
00:03:56,824 --> 00:03:59,404
because he's a grifter
who doesn't care about me and never did.
69
00:03:59,529 --> 00:04:00,911
I never want to see him again.
70
00:04:01,036 --> 00:04:03,024
- But, Stan...
- Francine, I don't need him.
71
00:04:03,149 --> 00:04:05,035
I can learn to ride a bike myself.
72
00:04:08,736 --> 00:04:11,792
Oh, my God, I had a freshly
sharpened pencil in my pocket.
73
00:04:15,215 --> 00:04:16,515
Shot of bourbon.
74
00:04:17,398 --> 00:04:19,798
Name's Tommy Calhoun,
attorney-at-law.
75
00:04:20,018 --> 00:04:21,017
Call me Tommy.
76
00:04:21,142 --> 00:04:22,892
Mr. Calhoun was my daddy.
77
00:04:23,075 --> 00:04:25,197
And Mr. Epstein was my granddaddy.
78
00:04:25,322 --> 00:04:27,195
They changed it to hide the Jewish.
79
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:30,519
I've got better things to do than serve
you drinks while you play dress-up.
80
00:04:30,753 --> 00:04:32,203
Oh, indeed, you do.
81
00:04:32,498 --> 00:04:36,204
Roger told me to tell you to clean
the rat feces out of the air vents
82
00:04:36,329 --> 00:04:39,653
and then remove the rats
that had made said feces.
83
00:04:39,822 --> 00:04:43,474
- I'm not going to do that.
- You will if you want that {internship }form signed.
84
00:04:43,599 --> 00:04:45,888
- Roger, you can't...
- Hayley, it's Roger.
85
00:04:46,013 --> 00:04:49,101
If you want your form signed,
you're going to have to play along.
86
00:04:50,035 --> 00:04:51,344
Fine, Mr. Calhoun.
87
00:04:51,469 --> 00:04:52,779
I'll get right on it.
88
00:04:52,904 --> 00:04:55,074
Great, and after that
you can clean my pants up
89
00:04:55,199 --> 00:04:57,499
'cause I just Mr. Belvedered myself.
90
00:04:58,001 --> 00:04:58,881
Google it.
91
00:05:02,763 --> 00:05:04,163
Thanks a lot, Dad.
92
00:05:06,276 --> 00:05:07,276
Hi, Steve.
93
00:05:07,814 --> 00:05:09,067
You're in jail?
94
00:05:09,255 --> 00:05:11,874
Well, tell Toshi to tag you
and get you out.
95
00:05:11,999 --> 00:05:13,497
Oh, real jail?
96
00:05:13,622 --> 00:05:15,105
Don't let anyone tag you!
97
00:05:20,673 --> 00:05:23,169
- Steve, what did you do?!
- Relax, Dad, I'm not in trouble.
98
00:05:23,294 --> 00:05:27,294
I'm just visiting. {Look, }I'm sorry I lied,
but there's someone you need to talk to.
99
00:05:27,614 --> 00:05:28,577
Hello, son.
100
00:05:30,843 --> 00:05:32,110
Dad, don't be mad.
101
00:05:32,235 --> 00:05:34,554
I heard you tell Mom you didn't know
where Grandpa was,
102
00:05:34,679 --> 00:05:36,465
so I used the Internet to find him.
103
00:05:36,709 --> 00:05:40,454
I also found a recipe for pumpkin flan
that will melt in your mouth.
104
00:05:40,579 --> 00:05:42,389
I'll melt in yourmouth.
105
00:05:43,323 --> 00:05:44,383
I'm sorry.
106
00:05:44,508 --> 00:05:46,312
So bad at introductions.
107
00:05:46,632 --> 00:05:47,732
I'm Michael.
108
00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:52,871
My father's in jail.
109
00:05:52,996 --> 00:05:54,494
What a surprise twist.
110
00:05:54,619 --> 00:05:56,490
Are we in an M. Night
Shyamalan movie?
111
00:05:56,615 --> 00:05:58,846
Does M-Dog have
a self-indulgent cameo
112
00:05:58,971 --> 00:06:00,818
as the warden who just happens
to be Indian?
113
00:06:00,987 --> 00:06:03,354
It's not what you think, son.
I've changed.
114
00:06:03,479 --> 00:06:07,479
I'm only behind bars because I was
framed for robbing a jewelry store.
115
00:06:07,604 --> 00:06:08,869
He's innocent, Dad,
116
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,217
and he's going to prove it
at his trial next week.
117
00:06:11,342 --> 00:06:12,842
If I live that long.
118
00:06:13,663 --> 00:06:15,332
That's an old accomplice of mine.
119
00:06:15,586 --> 00:06:19,436
10 years ago I left him holding the bag,
and now he wants revenge.
120
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,672
So, your wicked ways
caught up with you.
121
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,571
Yes, and now those wicked ways
are going to grab me from behind,
122
00:06:25,696 --> 00:06:29,696
shove me to the floor, and break
in my rump like a new baseball glove.
123
00:06:30,059 --> 00:06:33,906
- Right in front of the kid, {that's }nice.
- This is a chance for you{ two} to reconnect.
124
00:06:34,031 --> 00:06:37,337
Let's bail him out and let him
stay with us until the trial.
125
00:06:37,462 --> 00:06:40,691
- I'm not doing a thing for him.
- Then do it for us.
126
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:42,317
This time it was a bike ride,
127
00:06:42,442 --> 00:06:44,513
but who knows what else
we could miss out on?
128
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,863
Maybe a game of catch,
taking me to my first prostitute,
129
00:06:47,988 --> 00:06:51,225
scolding me when I fall in love
with aforementioned prostitute,
130
00:06:51,438 --> 00:06:52,244
bowling.
131
00:06:52,624 --> 00:06:54,224
Give me a chance, son.
132
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,618
Hi, I just wanted to say hello.
133
00:06:56,743 --> 00:06:58,843
I'm the warden, Sanjay Bhudapar.
134
00:07:00,213 --> 00:07:02,931
- Dad, this is going to be great.
- Steve, let's be realistic.
135
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:06,279
Last time I saw my dad,
he stole my car and left me stranded,
136
00:07:06,404 --> 00:07:09,111
so you'll have to forgive me if I'm
a little skeptical of his motives.
137
00:07:09,236 --> 00:07:10,810
Dad, he's changed.
138
00:07:11,083 --> 00:07:12,556
I took my measure of him
139
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,401
and I'm satisfied that he's a good
and decent man.
140
00:07:15,526 --> 00:07:16,776
Son of a bitch!
141
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,773
- What are you doing?!
- He was making a break for it.
142
00:07:21,079 --> 00:07:23,762
Why'd you shoot?
I was just pulling up the car.
143
00:07:23,887 --> 00:07:25,187
Yeah, Dad, geez.
144
00:07:27,508 --> 00:07:28,508
Oh, great.
145
00:07:29,628 --> 00:07:32,978
Now it's making a black tinkle
out of the ****-water
146
00:07:33,729 --> 00:07:36,538
Mom taught me about cars
'cause you were gone.
147
00:07:39,239 --> 00:07:41,418
Franny, the meat loaf is delicious.
148
00:07:41,609 --> 00:07:43,253
It's salmon, but thank you.
149
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,727
I think it's delicious, too.
What about you, Dad?
150
00:07:45,852 --> 00:07:47,925
Do you share the opinion
of the other Smith men?
151
00:07:48,224 --> 00:07:49,784
Whatever it is, it's dry.
152
00:07:49,909 --> 00:07:52,721
Stan, what did I say
about shotguns at the table?
153
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:55,150
Fine.
Put on this tracking device.
154
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,976
You get more than 50 feet away from me,
you're going back to jail.
155
00:07:58,207 --> 00:08:00,107
This really isn't necessary.
156
00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:01,772
I told you I've changed.
157
00:08:01,953 --> 00:08:04,324
No, you haven't.
You totally haven't changed.
158
00:08:04,673 --> 00:08:06,652
Talking about changing.
Shut up.
159
00:08:06,884 --> 00:08:09,379
You know what?
We should all do something together.
160
00:08:09,504 --> 00:08:11,189
What do fathers and sons do?
161
00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:14,370
What about that prostitute idea
somebody floated earlier?
162
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:17,302
That sounds interesting, you know?
It could be.
163
00:08:17,427 --> 00:08:19,957
- Let's not rule it out.
- Why don't you go camping?
164
00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:23,739
Think of the male bonding opportunities:
fishing, hiking.
165
00:08:24,139 --> 00:08:26,171
You could make spaetzle by the fire.
166
00:08:26,413 --> 00:08:27,798
That's a great idea.
167
00:08:27,972 --> 00:08:30,845
- What's the point?
- Dad, you promised you'd try.
168
00:08:30,970 --> 00:08:31,966
It'll be fun.
169
00:08:32,091 --> 00:08:34,012
- We can make s'mores.
- Spaetzle.
170
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,349
I don't know what that is,
but s'mores sound really good.
171
00:08:37,521 --> 00:08:39,330
It was my idea.
I own camping.
172
00:08:39,455 --> 00:08:41,436
If you don't make spaetzle,
you can't go camping.
173
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:44,760
Tell him you're going to make spaetzle.
He's not going to know.
174
00:08:44,885 --> 00:08:46,318
No, it's the principle.
175
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:49,278
We're going camping
and we're not making spaetzle.
176
00:08:49,447 --> 00:08:50,988
I hope you die out there!
177
00:08:53,431 --> 00:08:55,804
- Looks like they're going camping.
- Yeah, I know. So?
178
00:08:55,929 --> 00:08:57,925
Sometimes I like to know
what else is happening.
179
00:08:58,050 --> 00:08:59,922
I'm looking for a Roger Smith.
180
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,141
Well, well, well.
181
00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:06,723
What have we here?
182
00:09:06,848 --> 00:09:09,344
- I don't believe we've met.
- Constance Mathers.
183
00:09:09,469 --> 00:09:12,401
I'm from the Occupational Safety
and Health Administration.
184
00:09:12,526 --> 00:09:16,076
Interesting. What can I do
for you, Ms... Mathers, is it?
185
00:09:16,238 --> 00:09:19,703
You've been exposing an intern named
Hayley{ Smith} to unsafe working conditions.
186
00:09:19,828 --> 00:09:23,353
Henceforth, Ms. Smith's duties shall be
limited to watching TV and Web surfing.
187
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,067
I already have a boy for that.
He watches Nickelodeon all day.
188
00:09:26,192 --> 00:09:27,892
He's seven and not real.
189
00:09:28,189 --> 00:09:30,861
You also must stop threatening
to not sign her internship form.
190
00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:32,196
And if I refuse?
191
00:09:32,365 --> 00:09:35,565
Then I will shut you down
so fast your head will spin.
192
00:09:36,303 --> 00:09:37,553
Game on, bitch.
193
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,805
Hey, you said a swear.
194
00:09:40,438 --> 00:09:41,838
Wait, you're real?
195
00:09:45,476 --> 00:09:48,476
Dad, look at the awesome latrine
Grandpa just dug.
196
00:09:50,092 --> 00:09:53,710
Maybe you and Grandpa should whiz
together or do a number four.
197
00:09:53,835 --> 00:09:55,710
That's when you poop
while holding hands.
198
00:09:55,835 --> 00:09:58,330
He had his chance at my poop
when I was in diapers.
199
00:09:58,455 --> 00:10:00,884
If he didn't want it then,
he doesn't get it now.
200
00:10:05,401 --> 00:10:08,899
- All right, car's packed, time to go.
- But we've been here barely an hour.
201
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,243
I think I got a bite.
202
00:10:12,385 --> 00:10:13,990
Dad, Dad, what do I do?
203
00:10:14,115 --> 00:10:16,108
I don't know,
I've never fished before.
204
00:10:17,735 --> 00:10:19,885
Just pull, pull on the fish rope!
205
00:10:21,909 --> 00:10:24,081
Stop running.
Just reel it in.
206
00:10:25,597 --> 00:10:28,036
Steady, steady, hold it, hold it.
207
00:10:28,405 --> 00:10:29,544
You can do it.
208
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,026
Now pull hard.
Just yank it.
209
00:10:32,151 --> 00:10:34,083
Get your net out.
Don't give up.
210
00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:36,414
Attaboy, you're doing it.
211
00:10:36,539 --> 00:10:37,789
Way to go, son.
212
00:10:37,954 --> 00:10:38,928
Hey, guys.
213
00:10:47,361 --> 00:10:50,315
- What you doing?
- Steve texted me a heartwarming photo.
214
00:10:55,114 --> 00:10:57,358
It was really fun.
You should have been there, Francine.
215
00:10:57,483 --> 00:10:58,720
{I mean, }It was a father-son trip,
216
00:10:58,845 --> 00:11:00,939
so if you had been there,
it would have ruined{ everything}.
217
00:11:01,064 --> 00:11:01,978
I'm sorry.
218
00:11:02,163 --> 00:11:04,348
I'll tell you, the old man
really surprised me.
219
00:11:04,473 --> 00:11:07,457
He acted just like a real dad.
220
00:11:07,844 --> 00:11:11,420
- Look what we found, son.
- A trip we can all take next summer.
221
00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:13,289
Well, that sounds wonderful,
222
00:11:13,414 --> 00:11:16,967
but maybe you shouldn't make any plans
until after Grandpa's trial tomorrow.
223
00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:18,586
Mom, he's innocent.
224
00:11:18,888 --> 00:11:21,440
But even if he gets railroaded,
he won't go away for long
225
00:11:21,565 --> 00:11:25,071
'cause the judge will go easy on him,
especially since Dad will take the stand
226
00:11:25,196 --> 00:11:27,185
and give him
a glowing character reference.
227
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,478
Character reference?
228
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:32,440
Yeah. If you swear he's a changed man,
the judge will have to believe you.
229
00:11:32,616 --> 00:11:34,416
You're a government agent.
230
00:11:34,549 --> 00:11:36,349
It was all Grandpa's idea.
231
00:11:36,609 --> 00:11:38,606
I knew it.
You're using us.
232
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:40,331
What?
No, come on.
233
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,349
You haven't changed a bit.
234
00:11:42,474 --> 00:11:44,679
You're still
the same selfish bastard
235
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:47,278
who never taught me how to ride
that stupid, rusty, old bike
236
00:11:47,403 --> 00:11:48,790
that's cluttering up my garage.
237
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:52,169
I think we need a little comic relief
in here. Where's Roger?
238
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:53,831
Dad, Grandpa's changed.
239
00:11:53,956 --> 00:11:56,006
Steve, don't be an idiot.
He's conning you.
240
00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:59,051
Or Klaus... maybe he could say
a funny German word.
241
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,195
We went camping, Stan.
242
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,191
What else do you want from me?!
243
00:12:03,316 --> 00:12:05,167
Tomorrow I'm hauling
your ass to court,
244
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,400
and then I want you
the hell out of our lives!
245
00:12:07,872 --> 00:12:10,472
Dad, not only
did you just lose a father,
246
00:12:10,979 --> 00:12:13,300
you may well have lost a son, too.
247
00:12:13,425 --> 00:12:15,125
Well, did I or didn't I?
248
00:12:15,298 --> 00:12:16,698
You may well have.
249
00:12:20,414 --> 00:12:21,448
Spaetzle.
250
00:12:26,462 --> 00:12:28,330
- Quitting time.
- Hello.
251
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,174
I am Dimitri Garabedian,
252
00:12:31,299 --> 00:12:33,894
a high-ranking member
of the Armenian Mafia.
253
00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:36,369
Roger's Place pays us
for protection.
254
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:37,923
You recognize this woman?
255
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,630
That's Constance Mathers.
Where did you get this picture?
256
00:12:41,755 --> 00:12:43,220
The security camera.
257
00:12:44,690 --> 00:12:47,070
Her meddling was making
Roger's employees
258
00:12:47,195 --> 00:12:48,839
think they didn't have
to do any work
259
00:12:48,964 --> 00:12:53,247
and could still get their internship
form signed, so I killed her.
260
00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,899
- You can't do that.
- It is already done.
261
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,870
- This isn't over.
- You're out of your league.
262
00:13:00,995 --> 00:13:03,407
Now, get back to work.
Unload these crates.
263
00:13:04,322 --> 00:13:07,077
You know what? Those look heavy,
you better use this.
264
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,419
Grandpa.
265
00:13:16,637 --> 00:13:18,321
Sorry, it gets moist in there.
266
00:13:18,446 --> 00:13:20,942
I have to air it out at night
or I get eye mushrooms.
267
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,315
I came to say good-bye.
268
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,164
You're a changed man now,
and if my dad won't accept that,
269
00:13:25,289 --> 00:13:27,196
then I can't live here anymore.
270
00:13:27,525 --> 00:13:29,323
- You know, Steve...
- Don't try to stop me.
271
00:13:29,448 --> 00:13:31,654
Stop you?
I want to go with you.
272
00:13:31,925 --> 00:13:33,770
Really?
But what about your trial?
273
00:13:34,049 --> 00:13:38,049
They're going to railroad me{ in court} tomorrow,
so I might as well go on the run.
274
00:13:38,683 --> 00:13:39,850
- Oh, darn.
- What?
275
00:13:39,975 --> 00:13:41,472
This tracking device.
276
00:13:41,597 --> 00:13:44,155
If only we knew
where your dad keeps the key.
277
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,028
I know where my dad keeps the key.
278
00:13:46,153 --> 00:13:48,118
It's in the fake rock
under his mattress.
279
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:51,456
Great, you get the key and then
we'll take off in your mom's car.
280
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:55,031
Yeah, we'll be a couple of tough guy
fugitives on the lam,
281
00:13:55,353 --> 00:13:57,883
one of whom almost forgot
his inhaler.
282
00:13:58,008 --> 00:13:58,961
Excuse me.
283
00:14:05,935 --> 00:14:08,753
- What's going on?
- Jack and Steve ran away together.
284
00:14:08,878 --> 00:14:10,177
Did you know about this?
285
00:14:10,302 --> 00:14:13,935
No, I just came back from the reading
of Constance Mathers' will.
286
00:14:14,108 --> 00:14:15,708
Guess who got screwed?
287
00:14:15,918 --> 00:14:18,104
Anyone want
this Edie Brickell cas-single?
288
00:14:18,229 --> 00:14:20,002
I've never even heard
of the second song.
289
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,569
"The Land of Men."
What is that?
290
00:14:26,527 --> 00:14:27,712
This is great.
291
00:14:27,837 --> 00:14:29,237
My first dive bar.
292
00:14:29,523 --> 00:14:31,653
Thanks, Grandpa.
This is so awesome.
293
00:14:31,778 --> 00:14:33,891
My dad would never take me
to a place like this.
294
00:14:34,096 --> 00:14:38,096
Yeah, your dad has a different way
of doing things.
295
00:14:38,488 --> 00:14:39,943
Yeah, a sucky way.
296
00:14:40,068 --> 00:14:43,124
I'm having so much fun.
I wish my dad was more like you.
297
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:46,683
Kid, if your dad was more like me,
you wouldn't even know him.
298
00:14:46,808 --> 00:14:49,053
I'm just saying
go easy on your old man.
299
00:14:49,178 --> 00:14:51,482
He wasn't as lucky as you
in the father department.
300
00:14:52,205 --> 00:14:54,309
You're the only role model I need.
301
00:14:55,793 --> 00:14:57,976
Is that a condom and a rubber band?
302
00:14:58,101 --> 00:14:59,101
Sure is.
303
00:15:00,536 --> 00:15:03,886
What a long night of killing people
who don't deserve it.
304
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,071
Where is small-breasted bar wench?
305
00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:10,021
She didn't come in today.
But there is someone here to see you.
306
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:15,635
- Who are you?
- Do you not recognize me, Dimitri?
307
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,084
I am Mama Maroush,
matriarch of the Armenian Mafia.
308
00:15:19,815 --> 00:15:22,607
You killeda woman, Dimitri.
309
00:15:23,063 --> 00:15:24,808
You bring dishonor on our family.
310
00:15:24,933 --> 00:15:26,518
You know what you must do.
311
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,410
Captain Francois Dubonet,
French Interpol.
312
00:15:39,535 --> 00:15:41,243
I have devoted ten years of my life
313
00:15:41,368 --> 00:15:43,779
to toppling your criminal empire,
Madame Maroush.
314
00:15:43,904 --> 00:15:45,854
Your reign of terror is over.
315
00:15:47,709 --> 00:15:50,956
And I am Marie Dubonet,
your neglected wife.
316
00:15:51,081 --> 00:15:54,461
Your obsession with the Armenians
has destroyed our marriage
317
00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:57,568
and driven me into the arms
of my lover Raul.
318
00:15:58,746 --> 00:15:59,877
And I am Raul.
319
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,689
You are too old and barren.
320
00:16:01,814 --> 00:16:05,114
I am leaving you for a real woman
who can bear me a son.
321
00:16:06,222 --> 00:16:07,490
And I am your doctor.
322
00:16:07,615 --> 00:16:09,550
The bull's horn has done
too much damage.
323
00:16:09,675 --> 00:16:12,801
Your testicle cannot be saved.
You will never have a son.
324
00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:17,038
And I am Toro, Raul's half- bull son
from the future.
325
00:16:17,163 --> 00:16:19,502
My father's other testicle
became stronger,
326
00:16:19,627 --> 00:16:22,177
and he mated with a bull
to conceive me.
327
00:16:23,589 --> 00:16:25,697
And I am an Amish idiot savant
who hath proven
328
00:16:25,822 --> 00:16:28,822
with nary a doubt
that time travel is impossible.
329
00:16:29,708 --> 00:16:30,737
And I'm Hayley,
330
00:16:30,862 --> 00:16:34,662
and all of this is just a figment
of my drug-induced imagination.
331
00:16:35,946 --> 00:16:37,193
And I'm Roger.
332
00:16:37,318 --> 00:16:39,247
Your internship's over, Hayley.
333
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,791
Fine, just sign
my damn internship form.
334
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:42,791
Never.
335
00:16:43,066 --> 00:16:46,177
Then I, Hayley, am just going
to forge your signature.
336
00:16:51,209 --> 00:16:52,969
What happened?
Did I win?
337
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:59,476
Hey, no, that TV was real.
I bought that.
338
00:17:01,778 --> 00:17:02,928
What a night.
339
00:17:03,151 --> 00:17:07,019
My dad would never have let me sit
in a car in a dark alley all by myself
340
00:17:07,144 --> 00:17:10,141
while he went behind a Dumpster
with a Malaysian lady in a shiny dress.
341
00:17:10,266 --> 00:17:13,073
By the way, thanks for letting me
borrow your eye patch.
342
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,510
My dad's such a jerk.
343
00:17:14,635 --> 00:17:16,943
Hey, don't talk about
your father that way.
344
00:17:17,068 --> 00:17:19,838
God, Grandpa, you've been
defending him all night,
345
00:17:19,963 --> 00:17:22,207
and all he does is say
terrible things about you.
346
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,391
Kiddo, they're all true.
347
00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,796
Fact is I'm a no-good crook.
348
00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:30,173
But you changed.
You're innocent.
349
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:31,418
Nope, guilty.
350
00:17:31,543 --> 00:17:33,916
I robbed that jewelry store,
and your dad's car...
351
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:37,479
I was trying to steal it.
And from the minute you bailed me out,
352
00:17:37,604 --> 00:17:40,516
I've been working you and your dad
so I could get that character reference.
353
00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:44,087
And that convict wasn't going
to rape me in the shower.
354
00:17:44,212 --> 00:17:45,834
I was going to rape him.
355
00:17:46,488 --> 00:17:48,476
So... so you were just lying?
356
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:52,601
I was until I saw
what it was doing to you, Steve.
357
00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:54,944
I already turned my son against me.
358
00:17:55,069 --> 00:17:57,909
The last thing I want to do
is turn you against your father.
359
00:17:58,562 --> 00:18:00,662
That's why I've brought us here.
360
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,247
The courthouse?
361
00:18:02,555 --> 00:18:04,241
You're turning yourself in.
362
00:18:04,366 --> 00:18:07,999
Yes, but first I have something
I want to give you.
363
00:18:08,486 --> 00:18:11,324
This is $50 I stole
from your sock drawer.
364
00:18:12,042 --> 00:18:14,242
And I also stole your dress socks.
365
00:18:17,367 --> 00:18:18,680
He turned himself in?
366
00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:22,058
Yes, and your character reference
is his only chance for leniency.
367
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:23,852
But he tricked you{ into running away with him}.
368
00:18:24,024 --> 00:18:25,804
Dad, that was all my idea,
369
00:18:25,929 --> 00:18:27,758
and Grandpa told me that I was wrong
370
00:18:27,883 --> 00:18:29,733
and you were right
about him the whole time.
371
00:18:29,902 --> 00:18:30,984
He said that?
372
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:33,694
Yes. Dad, his trial's
going on right now.
373
00:18:33,819 --> 00:18:34,904
You got to hurry.
374
00:18:35,317 --> 00:18:36,948
Stan, come see this.
375
00:18:37,564 --> 00:18:38,564
My bike.
376
00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:40,326
It looks brand-new.
377
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,806
Your father must have fixed it up
before he left.
378
00:18:42,931 --> 00:18:44,381
But why would he...
379
00:18:44,801 --> 00:18:45,801
unless...
380
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,227
unless...?
381
00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:50,754
That neglectful son of a bitch
loves me.
382
00:18:51,113 --> 00:18:52,352
And he needs me.
383
00:18:52,477 --> 00:18:54,389
I've got to get down
to that courthouse
384
00:18:54,514 --> 00:18:57,078
and tell the judge
my father really has changed,
385
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:59,304
and this will be exhibit "A."
386
00:19:05,832 --> 00:19:06,831
Oh, my God.
387
00:19:06,956 --> 00:19:07,956
Oil.
388
00:19:08,138 --> 00:19:10,136
Stan, we struck oil!
389
00:19:10,261 --> 00:19:11,261
We're rich!
390
00:19:17,385 --> 00:19:18,261
Damn it.
391
00:19:40,338 --> 00:19:41,688
I still have one.
392
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:49,371
Steady, steady.
Hold it, hold it.
393
00:19:49,573 --> 00:19:50,730
You can do it.
394
00:19:51,071 --> 00:19:53,066
- Get your net out.
- I don't have a net.
395
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,642
Don't give up.
396
00:19:55,001 --> 00:19:57,061
Attaboy, you're doing it.
397
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,935
I'm doing it.
I'm really doing it.
398
00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:11,543
Steve, look at me.
399
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,086
I know how to ride a bike.
400
00:20:13,411 --> 00:20:14,661
All right, Dad.
401
00:20:15,067 --> 00:20:17,382
But I don't know how to stop.
Quick, move the building.
402
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,099
I'm here to save you.
403
00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:27,968
Trial's over, buddy boy.
404
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,257
Guilty.
I'm headed for the Big House.
405
00:20:30,382 --> 00:20:31,938
No, I'll talk to the judge.
406
00:20:32,192 --> 00:20:34,276
It's okay, I'll do my time.
407
00:20:34,626 --> 00:20:37,373
It'll be nice to stay
in one place for a change.
408
00:20:37,498 --> 00:20:40,492
Especially now that I have
a reason to stick around.
409
00:20:40,617 --> 00:20:42,352
Right, Steve's hair.
410
00:20:43,050 --> 00:20:46,161
But it's not fair. We have so much
lost time to make up for.
411
00:20:46,389 --> 00:20:48,663
Well, at least now
you'll know where to find me.
412
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:51,713
Thanks for the bike.
I love you, Dad.
413
00:20:52,841 --> 00:20:54,282
Other convicts are watching.
414
00:20:54,407 --> 00:20:57,807
You got to demonstrate dominance
or they'll eat you alive.
415
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,825
My dad just taught me a life lesson.
416
00:21:01,209 --> 00:21:03,059
You tried to save him, Dad.
417
00:21:03,394 --> 00:21:04,703
You're a good son.
418
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:07,640
- I have a great role model.
- I love you, Dad.
419
00:21:08,883 --> 00:21:11,783
You never know,
I might end up in there one day.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net