1
00:00:00,297 --> 00:00:01,463
So, Ed, I know recently

2
00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:03,436
you've been having some anger

3
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,444
over not being able to find
a post-retirement job.

4
00:00:05,445 --> 00:00:08,101
- How's that going?
- I worked 45 years

5
00:00:08,168 --> 00:00:11,159
supervising 200 people
in waste management.

6
00:00:11,226 --> 00:00:15,161
I can't even get a job
as a Walmart greeter,

7
00:00:15,229 --> 00:00:17,895
and they hire handicaps
and whatever else

8
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,691
tumbles off the short bus.

9
00:00:21,426 --> 00:00:23,723
I'd like to say something
as a person with a job.

10
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:25,863
You're lucky not to have one.

11
00:00:25,928 --> 00:00:27,693
I'd trade places with you in a second
if you weren't a creepy old man.

12
00:00:29,895 --> 00:00:31,830
It sounds like you're having some
issues with your new job, Lacey.

13
00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:34,098
- Do you want to talk about it?
- It's bad enough that my mother

14
00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:36,904
makes me work
to get my trust fund check,

15
00:00:36,972 --> 00:00:39,439
but the job starts
in the morning.

16
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:42,776
Have you ever woken up
in the morning?

17
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,747
It's horrible.
The sun's in the wrong place.

18
00:00:47,616 --> 00:00:51,253
You may not believe this,
but most people

19
00:00:51,321 --> 00:00:54,222
wake up in the morning
and go to bed at night.

20
00:00:54,290 --> 00:00:56,959
It started in the '40s, when they were
rationing daylight during World War II.

21
00:00:58,828 --> 00:01:01,563
The worst part is sitting
in traffic for hours.

22
00:01:01,631 --> 00:01:03,266
It's like waiting in line
at a club,

23
00:01:03,334 --> 00:01:06,069
except when you get to the end,
there's no dancing.

24
00:01:06,136 --> 00:01:09,372
There's just me,
selling blush at Sephora.

25
00:01:09,439 --> 00:01:12,409
Ain't nothing
gonna fix that face, bitch.

26
00:01:12,477 --> 00:01:14,511
After they buy makeup from
you, they buy clothes from me.

27
00:01:14,579 --> 00:01:17,014
Nothing is going to fix
those hips, bitch.

28
00:01:17,082 --> 00:01:19,250
Then the bitch
comes home to me...

29
00:01:21,653 --> 00:01:24,388
and I have to pay
the credit card bill.

30
00:01:26,358 --> 00:01:29,393
And that's how America works.

31
00:01:29,461 --> 00:01:31,562
Great session, everybody.
See you all tomorrow.

32
00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:35,333
I just realized I'm not a part
of how America works.

33
00:01:41,206 --> 00:01:42,907
Oh, hey, Lacey.
Before you go,

34
00:01:42,974 --> 00:01:46,076
I'm worried about how rush
hour traffic might affect you.

35
00:01:46,144 --> 00:01:48,112
- How have you been dealing with that?
- Pretty well.

36
00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:50,248
I just take it out on all the
other drivers around me.

37
00:01:50,316 --> 00:01:53,985
Yesterday I bumper-tapped
a mini-van into an intersection.

38
00:01:55,787 --> 00:01:57,955
You're on probation. If you
get arrested for road rage,

39
00:01:58,022 --> 00:02:00,123
- they will put you in prison.
- I know.

40
00:02:00,191 --> 00:02:03,526
- I should probably see somebody about that.
- Lacey.

41
00:02:03,594 --> 00:02:06,762
- Where are you right now?
- I'm...

42
00:02:08,664 --> 00:02:10,498
oh, okay.

43
00:02:12,368 --> 00:02:15,536
How about I go out driving with
you in the morning traffic?

44
00:02:15,604 --> 00:02:18,439
I can show you some techniques, how
to diffuse your anger on the road.

45
00:02:18,507 --> 00:02:21,409
- Okay. Pick me up at 9:00.
- No, no, no, no.

46
00:02:21,477 --> 00:02:23,978
- You're going to drive.
- Ugh. In that traffic?

47
00:02:26,548 --> 00:02:29,550
Hey, we've got to figure out a
schedule for your dad's visit.

48
00:02:29,618 --> 00:02:31,685
Dad's visit?
Who's he visiting?

49
00:02:31,753 --> 00:02:35,089
- Us, you, tomorrow.
- What?

50
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:38,759
- He didn't call you?
- He's been calling all week, but I didn't answer.

51
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,794
Not talking to him is so much easier
if I don't pick up the phone.

52
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:46,232
Well, he's coming in tomorrow
and he's staying with you.

53
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,968
Of course he's coming now.
You know why?

54
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:52,805
He knows I'm happy. He can smell
it all the way from Ohio.

55
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:56,742
Maybe he just wants to see you.
You know, he's getting older.

56
00:02:56,810 --> 00:03:00,513
- He's not gonna be around forever.
- Stop trying to cheer me up.

57
00:03:02,507 --> 00:03:05,261
Sync and corrections by Tony for
www.addic7ed.com.

58
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:08,454
Wow, candles.
Romantic.

59
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,224
It's not what we do.

60
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,727
This is purely sexual.
I just read a study

61
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,329
about which smells
increase male arousal.

62
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,165
This one's vanilla,
that one's cinnamon,

63
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:22,268
- that one's donut.
- It smells like a stripper

64
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:25,938
standing in a Krispy Kreme.
I like it.

65
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:38,550
I don't want to see my father.
Is that so horrible?

66
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,052
Well, if you're imagining
him right now, it is.

67
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:45,556
He drives me nuts. I don't
want him in my house.

68
00:03:45,624 --> 00:03:48,325
Let's take a moment
and get past this.

69
00:03:48,393 --> 00:03:51,829
Okay. If I were your father, what
would you say to me right now?

70
00:03:51,896 --> 00:03:55,399
Dad, that's not the bra
you usually wear.

71
00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:57,969
Come on, serious.
What would you say?

72
00:03:58,036 --> 00:04:00,972
I wouldn't say anything
because he doesn't listen.

73
00:04:01,039 --> 00:04:04,075
He just criticizes. He shows
no affection whatsoever.

74
00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:06,778
The guy's never hugged me. I can't do right by him.
I can't talk to him.

75
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:09,481
I can't...
I can't breathe.

76
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:13,619
Okay. Shh.
You're hyperventilating.

77
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:17,323
Put your head between your knees.

78
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:20,559
- It's not working.
- Okay. Put your head between my knees.

79
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,929
That only relaxes you.

80
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:30,001
Hey, Charlie.
I got us tickets

81
00:04:30,069 --> 00:04:31,536
to take your dad to the
Dodger game on Friday.

82
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,838
- Does that sound good?
- Great.

83
00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:36,040
We can get him one of those giant
foam hands to poke me with

84
00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:38,509
when he reminds me how I
screwed up my baseball career.

85
00:04:38,577 --> 00:04:41,379
The catcher
could have been you. Poke.

86
00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:46,518
Will you stop
anticipating problems?

87
00:04:46,585 --> 00:04:49,587
I don't anticipate problems with my dad.
I anticipate disasters.

88
00:04:49,655 --> 00:04:52,323
You watch. He'll walk
through that door,

89
00:04:52,391 --> 00:04:54,993
won't even acknowledge me.
Then no matter what I do,

90
00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:56,828
he'll find a way
to complain about it.

91
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,897
That's a problem,
not a disaster.

92
00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:01,432
No, it will be when he destroys
everything with his heat vision.

93
00:05:03,835 --> 00:05:05,836
- Is Grandpa here yet?
- Not yet, honey.

94
00:05:05,904 --> 00:05:08,372
You know, I don't think
I've ever hung out

95
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,907
- with you and Grandpa at the same time.
- Maybe they're the same person.

96
00:05:10,975 --> 00:05:14,344
Don't even joke about that.

97
00:05:18,483 --> 00:05:21,185
- Charlie!
- Oh, all right.

98
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,828
- Chuck.
- Hey, Dad.

99
00:05:32,196 --> 00:05:34,031
Come here.

100
00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:41,328
- Here you go, Dad.
- Imported, huh?

101
00:05:41,396 --> 00:05:44,264
I know you like Bud,
but I've been busy working

102
00:05:44,332 --> 00:05:45,966
the past few days. I didn't
have time to go to the store.

103
00:05:46,034 --> 00:05:49,136
You know I don't like
imported beer,

104
00:05:49,204 --> 00:05:51,572
but this is delicious.
Thank you, Charlie.

105
00:05:55,477 --> 00:05:57,711
- And now, to you.
- Yes.

106
00:05:57,779 --> 00:06:00,480
You know, every time I see you,
you get more and more beautiful.

107
00:06:00,548 --> 00:06:03,984
Oh, Martin. I used to think
you were a shameless flirt,

108
00:06:04,052 --> 00:06:05,786
but now I know you're
just telling the truth.

109
00:06:08,123 --> 00:06:10,625
I always thought Charlie was an
idiot for letting you get away...

110
00:06:10,693 --> 00:06:13,028
- Here we go.
- ...but you two seem happier now,

111
00:06:13,095 --> 00:06:14,896
than when you were married.

112
00:06:14,964 --> 00:06:16,832
<i>You're a good man,</i>
<i>Charlie Goodson.</i>

113
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:19,468
You took a bad situation
and you made it work.

114
00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:23,405
- And?
- And I'm proud of you.

115
00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:29,278
- Sam, why don't you show me where I'm bunking?
- Okay.

116
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:32,980
- All right. Good night, Dad.
- Good night.

117
00:06:33,048 --> 00:06:36,817
It's so good to see you.
Both of you.

118
00:06:43,592 --> 00:06:45,927
- Good night, guys.
- Good night.

119
00:06:48,664 --> 00:06:50,765
I know how this story ends.

120
00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:52,768
I call his wife
in Ohio and she says,

121
00:06:52,835 --> 00:06:54,970
"How can you be with your father?
He died five years ago."

122
00:06:59,575 --> 00:07:01,843
I'm not buying it.
Nobody changes that much.

123
00:07:01,911 --> 00:07:04,045
Maybe he's mellowed out.

124
00:07:04,113 --> 00:07:06,748
You're a therapist. You're supposed to
believe that human beings can change.

125
00:07:06,815 --> 00:07:08,583
I do believe that human
beings can change,

126
00:07:08,651 --> 00:07:10,952
but none of that
applies to my father.

127
00:07:11,020 --> 00:07:13,221
I think you're overreacting.

128
00:07:13,289 --> 00:07:15,757
I'll prove it to you.
He's not just critical of me.

129
00:07:15,825 --> 00:07:18,726
He'll come down here and anybody who
disagrees with him... religion, politics...

130
00:07:18,794 --> 00:07:20,962
he'll always find a way to make
it feel like you're wrong.

131
00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:22,664
Charlie, I don't
want to be a part of this.

132
00:07:22,732 --> 00:07:25,433
Something smells good.

133
00:07:25,501 --> 00:07:28,002
- Oh, good morning.
- Good morning, Dad. Sit down.

134
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:30,238
- I made breakfast. Coffee's brewing.
- This is my neighbor Michael.

135
00:07:30,305 --> 00:07:33,007
- Michael, good to meet you.
- You, too.

136
00:07:33,075 --> 00:07:35,143
We were just talking about how
active you were in the unions.

137
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:38,612
Yes, indeed. Unions are the
foundation of the middle class.

138
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,014
Michael doesn't
believe in unions.

139
00:07:41,082 --> 00:07:42,849
He says they cut
into corporate profits.

140
00:07:42,917 --> 00:07:45,519
I did?

141
00:07:45,587 --> 00:07:48,222
Well, you know, everyone is
entitled to their own opinion.

142
00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:50,024
Tell you the truth,
since I retired,

143
00:07:50,092 --> 00:07:53,962
I've been keeping my eye
on the stock market as well.

144
00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:55,564
Really? Michael also said

145
00:07:55,632 --> 00:07:57,199
that Democrats are
screwing up the country.

146
00:07:57,267 --> 00:08:00,736
- Whoo. I have got to get to work.
- Oh.

147
00:08:00,804 --> 00:08:02,138
I don't think
they screwed it up.

148
00:08:02,205 --> 00:08:03,539
Of course, if I was president,

149
00:08:03,607 --> 00:08:06,208
there are probably a few things
I would do differently.

150
00:08:06,276 --> 00:08:08,945
You? As president?

151
00:08:09,012 --> 00:08:11,314
I just can't picture it.

152
00:08:11,382 --> 00:08:13,984
- Thank you, Charlie.
- Michael also said...

153
00:08:14,052 --> 00:08:16,153
Your son has a girl
that he just calls for sex.

154
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,789
They're not in love, they're never getting married.
It's just sex, sex, sex.

155
00:08:21,593 --> 00:08:24,428
- Is that true, Charlie?
- As a matter of fact, it is.

156
00:08:24,496 --> 00:08:27,098
Well, it's a good thing
you're not getting married

157
00:08:27,165 --> 00:08:29,533
because a loveless marriage

158
00:08:29,601 --> 00:08:31,068
is a tragedy
in the eyes of God.

159
00:08:32,671 --> 00:08:35,673
Speaking of God,
I don't believe in Him.

160
00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:37,841
- Oh, boy.
- Or Her.

161
00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:40,644
Oh, God.

162
00:08:40,712 --> 00:08:43,247
I struggle
with that myself sometimes.

163
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:45,349
But every time
I look in your eyes,

164
00:08:45,417 --> 00:08:48,453
I know that He or She exists.

165
00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:52,591
Good meeting you, Michael.
I hope you'll forgive me,

166
00:08:52,659 --> 00:08:55,194
but I don't want
to miss "Judge Judy."

167
00:08:57,865 --> 00:09:00,066
Well, Charlie.
You proved it.

168
00:09:00,134 --> 00:09:01,768
You're an ungrateful
little snot.

169
00:09:01,836 --> 00:09:04,370
Now, give me my breakfast.

170
00:09:04,438 --> 00:09:07,908
This black Republican union
buster needs his energy.

171
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:15,014
This is why I hate traffic.

172
00:09:15,082 --> 00:09:17,216
Just relax. It will start
moving here in a minute.

173
00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:19,351
There's a carpool lane. Why
can't they have a separate lane

174
00:09:19,419 --> 00:09:22,054
for attractive people
with fast little cars?

175
00:09:22,121 --> 00:09:23,889
Look, this is obviously
an anger trigger for you.

176
00:09:23,956 --> 00:09:25,891
Remember your techniques.
Use imagery.

177
00:09:25,958 --> 00:09:28,560
Think of this Fiat
as your bubble of calm.

178
00:09:28,628 --> 00:09:31,063
- Now just breathe.
- Okay.

179
00:09:31,131 --> 00:09:32,731
Open your eyes when you're breathing.

180
00:09:35,168 --> 00:09:37,703
- You're freaking me out.
- I'm sorry.

181
00:09:37,771 --> 00:09:41,474
- Why don't we just talk?
- So...

182
00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:44,076
I didn't know I was going to
meet your dad this morning.

183
00:09:44,144 --> 00:09:46,812
- He seems like such a nice guy.
- Yeah. Thanks.

184
00:09:48,682 --> 00:09:51,851
He's like the nicest
old man I've ever met.

185
00:09:51,918 --> 00:09:54,987
- He's like Santa without a bea...
- All right.

186
00:09:58,324 --> 00:10:01,093
Whoa! That guy came out
of nowhere with no warning.

187
00:10:03,262 --> 00:10:05,430
Dude! Relax!
What are you doing?

188
00:10:05,498 --> 00:10:09,133
You're totally bursting
my Fiat bubble. God.

189
00:10:09,201 --> 00:10:10,568
I mean, come on.
Look at his bumper stickers.

190
00:10:10,636 --> 00:10:13,471
Coexist.
Visualize world peace.

191
00:10:13,539 --> 00:10:15,173
You want everyone
to think you're nice,

192
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,543
but I know the truth,
jerk-face!

193
00:10:18,611 --> 00:10:21,279
Dude, what are you doing?

194
00:10:21,347 --> 00:10:22,880
I'm sorry.

195
00:10:25,484 --> 00:10:28,886
I let my dad get the best of me.

196
00:10:28,954 --> 00:10:31,356
Oh, yeah. Perfect.

197
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:33,124
It's okay.
Let me handle this.

198
00:10:33,192 --> 00:10:35,727
Girls, you're on.

199
00:10:38,364 --> 00:10:40,532
It's a chick.

200
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,867
Please be a lesbian. Please be a lesbian.
Please be a lesbian.

201
00:10:48,312 --> 00:10:50,913
That's a heck
of an idea, Martin.

202
00:10:52,549 --> 00:10:53,916
What's a heck of an idea?

203
00:10:53,984 --> 00:10:56,352
Oh, your daddy and I
were just chewing the fat,

204
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:59,155
talking about how hard
it is to get a job at our age.

205
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,757
And I was talking about
my road rage issues

206
00:11:01,825 --> 00:11:03,492
and how I should
probably hire a driver

207
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,795
before I accidentally
kill somebody...

208
00:11:05,863 --> 00:11:08,664
because I really want
to kill somebody.

209
00:11:08,732 --> 00:11:12,334
Oh, I just thought maybe she could toss Ed
a few bucks and he could drive her around.

210
00:11:12,402 --> 00:11:13,936
Oh, yeah. Dad,
it's a nice idea,

211
00:11:14,003 --> 00:11:16,405
but Lacey and Ed
have a very complex dynamic.

212
00:11:16,472 --> 00:11:18,940
There's a lot of emotional ramifications
to an arrangement like that.

213
00:11:19,008 --> 00:11:21,743
- How's $20 an hour?
- I'll do it for $30.

214
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:23,578
$50 if you want to listen

215
00:11:23,646 --> 00:11:26,381
to that Arab music
while I'm driving.

216
00:11:26,449 --> 00:11:29,518
Whatever.
It's my mom's money

217
00:11:29,585 --> 00:11:31,887
and I'm Indian. White
people work for us now.

218
00:11:34,190 --> 00:11:36,558
Well, I've got to go.
Really nice meeting you.

219
00:11:36,626 --> 00:11:38,426
I hope you all get well soon.

220
00:11:38,494 --> 00:11:41,896
Hey, Dad. Before you go,
I have a big favor to ask.

221
00:11:41,964 --> 00:11:44,899
Sure.

222
00:11:44,966 --> 00:11:47,768
- You want me happy, right?
- That's all I've ever wanted for you, Charlie.

223
00:11:47,836 --> 00:11:50,537
Of course.

224
00:11:50,604 --> 00:11:54,240
Would you be willing to see my therapist
with me and maybe talk some things out?

225
00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:59,011
- Is everything okay?
- No, Dad.

226
00:11:59,079 --> 00:12:02,615
- Everything is not okay.
- Well, okay.

227
00:12:02,682 --> 00:12:05,484
You know, I've never
been in therapy before.

228
00:12:05,552 --> 00:12:07,219
Why would you have to?

229
00:12:09,189 --> 00:12:12,291
Kate: <i>So, Charlie, you said
some things about your dad.</i>

230
00:12:12,359 --> 00:12:14,193
Can you give me an example

231
00:12:14,261 --> 00:12:16,462
of what you mean by distant,

232
00:12:16,529 --> 00:12:18,698
hypercritical, fascist?

233
00:12:21,134 --> 00:12:22,868
Okay.
Little League game.

234
00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,471
Nine years old, I was so desperate
to make you proud of me.

235
00:12:25,539 --> 00:12:28,307
Fourth inning
I drop the pop fly.

236
00:12:28,375 --> 00:12:31,343
You stood up and stared at
me with a look of disgust,

237
00:12:31,411 --> 00:12:34,346
- turned your back and left.
- Martin: <i>I would never do that to you.</i>

238
00:12:34,414 --> 00:12:36,515
Don't you remember
what happened?

239
00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:38,917
Your cousin came
to the ballpark to tell me.

240
00:12:38,985 --> 00:12:40,819
Aunt Cecile
got killed by a bus.

241
00:12:40,887 --> 00:12:43,756
I had to leave.
It was an emergency.

242
00:12:43,823 --> 00:12:46,892
- Aunt Cecile got hit by a bus?
- Yes.

243
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,328
- Wasn't she the one that was drunk all the time?
- Yes.

244
00:12:49,396 --> 00:12:52,731
At work, at home,
and sadly, at the bus stop.

245
00:12:54,601 --> 00:12:57,102
- You never told me that.
- This is very common.

246
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:59,438
Two people often remember
the same incident differently.

247
00:12:59,505 --> 00:13:03,242
Charlie, sometimes
we selectively remember.

248
00:13:03,310 --> 00:13:05,644
I suppose that's possible,

249
00:13:05,712 --> 00:13:08,313
but I know for a fact that he
took the guitar that I bought

250
00:13:08,381 --> 00:13:11,116
with my own money and smashed it in the
driveway because I was playing it too loud.

251
00:13:11,184 --> 00:13:14,486
He's right.
I did smash the guitar.

252
00:13:14,554 --> 00:13:16,889
Thank you. Thank you.
I thought I was going crazy.

253
00:13:16,957 --> 00:13:19,625
But not because you
were playing too loud.

254
00:13:19,693 --> 00:13:22,195
I smashed it
because I'd warned you

255
00:13:22,263 --> 00:13:24,831
if you don't get your grades up, I'm
going to have to get rid of the guitar.

256
00:13:24,898 --> 00:13:26,699
Okay. Okay. All right.
You know what?

257
00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:29,068
There's more. How about the
time you took the puppy away?

258
00:13:29,136 --> 00:13:31,538
I had to. It died.

259
00:13:31,606 --> 00:13:34,474
- You missed my graduation.
- I had to work.

260
00:13:34,542 --> 00:13:36,843
- You made me shave my long hair.
- Because you had lice,

261
00:13:36,911 --> 00:13:40,880
- which you got from the puppy.
- My whole childhood, you were a bully.

262
00:13:40,948 --> 00:13:42,815
A bully?

263
00:13:42,883 --> 00:13:44,584
Excuse me, Kate.

264
00:13:44,651 --> 00:13:47,153
Would you please give me
a moment alone with my son?

265
00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:49,221
No problem. Actually,
this is a good time for me.

266
00:13:49,289 --> 00:13:51,023
Big iced tea, running
waterfall, bad combination.

267
00:13:52,792 --> 00:13:54,693
Martin:
<i>Thank you.</i>

268
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,063
Son, it really hurts me
to hear you say

269
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:01,766
that you've been carrying around
all this pain for so long.

270
00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:04,502
I know I wasn't
the perfect father,

271
00:14:04,570 --> 00:14:06,871
but I am not that guy
you think I was.

272
00:14:06,939 --> 00:14:09,974
Maybe...
maybe Kate's right.

273
00:14:10,042 --> 00:14:12,409
Maybe I rewrote
some of my history to avoid

274
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,780
taking responsibility
for some of the crap I did.

275
00:14:15,847 --> 00:14:18,816
There are lots of ways
to set things right.

276
00:14:18,884 --> 00:14:22,520
I tried your therapy.
How about you trying mine?

277
00:14:26,692 --> 00:14:28,093
Do it for Brett.

278
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,028
- Eh, come on.
- Do it, do it.

279
00:14:30,096 --> 00:14:33,399
All right. I'm the kid
that stole the candy.

280
00:14:33,466 --> 00:14:35,400
I'm that Yankee Doodle Dandy.

281
00:14:36,802 --> 00:14:38,336
Jimmy Cagney.

282
00:14:38,404 --> 00:14:41,105
- More.
- Do some Brando.

283
00:14:43,575 --> 00:14:47,144
- Are you an assassin?
- I'm a soldier.

284
00:14:47,212 --> 00:14:50,647
You're neither.
You're an errand boy

285
00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:53,483
sent by grocery clerks
to collect a bill.

286
00:14:59,257 --> 00:15:02,392
I love that movie.

287
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:05,329
You know, Charlie.
If your father's marital status

288
00:15:05,397 --> 00:15:07,365
ever changes,
I'd like to be your new mama.

289
00:15:09,068 --> 00:15:11,403
A bartender wife. That sounds interesting.
Do you cook?

290
00:15:11,471 --> 00:15:14,206
- In bed.
- Oh.

291
00:15:14,274 --> 00:15:16,208
Seriously.
My trailer is that small.

292
00:15:16,276 --> 00:15:18,510
The microwave
is actually next to the bed.

293
00:15:20,213 --> 00:15:22,281
Here's looking at you, kid.

294
00:15:25,452 --> 00:15:28,420
So that girl
you're sleeping with...

295
00:15:28,487 --> 00:15:31,055
the one that you have no
intention of marrying.

296
00:15:31,123 --> 00:15:33,224
It's that therapist,
am I right?

297
00:15:33,292 --> 00:15:36,027
- How did you know?
- I didn't until just now.

298
00:15:37,997 --> 00:15:40,866
Anyway, if you're not
going to remarry Jennifer,

299
00:15:40,934 --> 00:15:43,102
which you should,
you should seriously consider

300
00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:44,905
making an honest woman
out of Kate.

301
00:15:44,972 --> 00:15:47,975
She's more fun
as a dishonest woman.

302
00:15:48,043 --> 00:15:50,011
Let me tell you something, son.

303
00:15:50,078 --> 00:15:51,913
- Your dear mother, may God rest her soul...
- She's not dead.

304
00:15:51,981 --> 00:15:53,948
Quit saying that.

305
00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:56,184
- She's remarried and living in Tampa.
- I don't keep track.

306
00:15:56,252 --> 00:15:59,220
Anyway, she reminds me
a lot of Kate.

307
00:15:59,288 --> 00:16:03,225
A lot to handle,
but well worth it.

308
00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:04,793
Well, here's to
difficult women.

309
00:16:04,861 --> 00:16:07,062
And the men
who cannot handle them.

310
00:16:10,066 --> 00:16:12,568
Here's my 10th birthday.
That's my dad and my brother.

311
00:16:12,636 --> 00:16:14,904
<i>That's me on the end.</i>

312
00:16:14,971 --> 00:16:18,407
Oh, you're lucky. My family never
made any home movies with me.

313
00:16:18,475 --> 00:16:21,077
I was the fourth kid.

314
00:16:21,144 --> 00:16:24,313
My father was fond of saying
I was the fourth of three.

315
00:16:24,381 --> 00:16:26,315
Hey, I could always
Photoshop you into mine.

316
00:16:26,383 --> 00:16:29,852
Here, Charlie, we got you a 45-year-old
bald man for your birthday.

317
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,721
The stories
are kind of a bummer,

318
00:16:31,789 --> 00:16:33,623
but they make you feel
better about your own life.

319
00:16:36,293 --> 00:16:39,830
You don't have to do that.

320
00:16:39,897 --> 00:16:43,500
I just can't get over
how young I... hold on.

321
00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:46,870
What?

322
00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:53,010
- That woman with her back to us...
- Yeah?

323
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:55,779
That's my Aunt Cecile. My dad
said she died a year before this.

324
00:16:55,847 --> 00:16:58,415
Good for her. It looks like she's almost
completely recovered from her death.

325
00:17:00,918 --> 00:17:02,452
No, I was right.
I'm not crazy.

326
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,688
My dad really is
a terrible person.

327
00:17:04,756 --> 00:17:07,357
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

328
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,489
I'm really glad
you're driving me, Ed.

329
00:17:12,522 --> 00:17:14,326
I'm going to show up
at work so much more relaxed.

330
00:17:14,531 --> 00:17:18,368
My pleasure, Miss Daisy. I
don't know if I ever told you,

331
00:17:18,436 --> 00:17:19,936
but a long time ago,
I used to drive...

332
00:17:20,004 --> 00:17:21,538
Don't let that girl in!
Don't let her in!

333
00:17:21,606 --> 00:17:24,307
- Why'd you let her in?
- Because she had her blinker on

334
00:17:24,375 --> 00:17:26,209
and she smiled at me.
I'm a sucker for that.

335
00:17:28,112 --> 00:17:29,612
Quick, that lane's open!
Go, go, go, go!

336
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,915
That is not a lane.
That's a shoulder!

337
00:17:31,983 --> 00:17:34,985
- That's for emergencies.
- Yeah, well, you're going to need to go to the hospital

338
00:17:35,052 --> 00:17:38,421
- if you don't pick up the pace!
- Oh, I knew this was not a good idea.

339
00:17:38,489 --> 00:17:41,124
I'm warning you, one more word out
of you... just one more word...

340
00:17:41,192 --> 00:17:43,427
- Yeah, whatcha gonna do?!
- That's it!

341
00:17:50,835 --> 00:17:53,536
Screw you! My driver left.

342
00:17:53,604 --> 00:17:56,306
Ed?

343
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:01,177
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, Dad.

344
00:18:01,245 --> 00:18:03,179
- Can I get you a beer?
- Sure. What do you got?

345
00:18:03,247 --> 00:18:05,615
Well, let's see.

346
00:18:05,683 --> 00:18:09,152
I've got...
dirty filthy liar,

347
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:12,955
my dad's a bastard,

348
00:18:13,023 --> 00:18:15,892
and a lager from Holland.

349
00:18:15,959 --> 00:18:18,361
Still haven't gotten
any Bud Light, huh?

350
00:18:18,429 --> 00:18:21,798
There he is.
Hi, Dad.

351
00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:31,108
Okay. What happened?

352
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:34,745
You told me Aunt Cecile
died when I was nine.

353
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:38,115
I've got home movies of her
at my 10th birthday.

354
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:39,883
Sitting at the table
when I blew out the candles.

355
00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,288
Was she moving?

356
00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:48,659
Just enough to get her
beer mug to her face.

357
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:52,663
- I lied about one little thing.
- No, you didn't.

358
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:56,167
I found my report card from the
year you smashed my guitar.

359
00:18:56,234 --> 00:18:59,103
My grades...
they never dropped.

360
00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:01,239
And I talked to Mom.

361
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,407
You traded the puppy
for a power drill.

362
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,710
Well, at least the dog
didn't die.

363
00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:08,545
I mean, I'm sure
he's dead now, but...

364
00:19:08,613 --> 00:19:10,681
Why did you come here?

365
00:19:10,748 --> 00:19:12,783
Why are you being so nice?
What do you want?

366
00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:15,952
I want to leave Ohio.

367
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,988
There's nothing left
there for me.

368
00:19:18,055 --> 00:19:20,590
All my friends are gone

369
00:19:20,657 --> 00:19:23,759
and your siblings won't have
anything to do with me.

370
00:19:23,827 --> 00:19:27,564
- What about your wife?
- Corinne left me last month.

371
00:19:31,202 --> 00:19:34,203
If it will make you feel any
better, she took my puppy.

372
00:19:34,271 --> 00:19:37,907
- Oh, so now you're a puppy guy?
- Charlie, look.

373
00:19:39,876 --> 00:19:43,546
I want to move out here
and I want to live with you.

374
00:19:43,613 --> 00:19:46,082
You act like a jerk
my whole life,

375
00:19:46,149 --> 00:19:47,617
then lie about it, and now
you want me to take you in?

376
00:19:47,684 --> 00:19:50,053
I really need some help

377
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:53,290
because I don't have enough
money left to live on my own.

378
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:58,662
If I could do anything
about the past, I would.

379
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:02,266
- Hell, you know I tried.
- And it would have worked, too,

380
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:05,136
if it hadn't been for the
boozy ghost of Aunt Cecile.

381
00:20:07,338 --> 00:20:09,973
Look, I'll do the best
I can from here on.

382
00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:11,608
That's all I can promise.

383
00:20:11,676 --> 00:20:14,277
- One last thing.
- Anything.

384
00:20:14,345 --> 00:20:16,113
- And I need the truth.
- You bet.

385
00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:18,849
Did Mom really leave you

386
00:20:18,916 --> 00:20:22,518
or did you trade her to that guy
in Tampa for a belt sander?

387
00:20:22,586 --> 00:20:26,323
No, actually,
it was a leaf blower.

388
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:32,697
Don't get too hard on yourself.

389
00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:35,767
Your dad fooled us both.

390
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,937
I think it's really sweet that you're
getting him his own place out here.

391
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,906
Yeah, it's in
a really nice area.

392
00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:43,175
He just has to decide if he
wants to be a Blood or a Crip.

393
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,979
- Charlie.
- I'm kidding, kidding.

394
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,814
It's about 20 minutes away.

395
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,784
Just far enough so he can't just
walk over here whenever he wants.

396
00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:56,488
At least now I know what
you'll look like in your 70s.

397
00:20:56,555 --> 00:21:00,291
Based on your dad's looks,
I could still be doing you.

398
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,159
How nice.

399
00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:04,628
Hey, you got a picture of your mom so I
can see what I might be getting into?

400
00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:07,798
Actually, I look
more like my dad.

401
00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:09,600
But if it makes you
feel any better,

402
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:11,435
he's got an ass
that won't quit.

403
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:17,702
Sync and corrections by Tony for
www.addic7ed.com