1
00:00:00,868 --> 00:00:02,823
I've got to admit, Dad,
you really surprise me.
2
00:00:02,890 --> 00:00:05,498
Giving Sam your old car
is really generous.
3
00:00:05,566 --> 00:00:07,227
You're getting soft
in your old age.
4
00:00:07,295 --> 00:00:09,728
Hey, she's my grandbaby. I want her
driving around in something safe.
5
00:00:09,794 --> 00:00:11,226
So what are you gonna use
to get around?
6
00:00:11,294 --> 00:00:12,595
I'm gonna keep
driving my car.
7
00:00:12,663 --> 00:00:15,472
Excuse me?
8
00:00:15,539 --> 00:00:18,750
I figure you're only gonna take Sam
out for a driving lesson once a week.
9
00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:20,487
So we'll leave the car
parked at my place
10
00:00:20,555 --> 00:00:23,224
and you can call and schedule the
time to use it whenever you want.
11
00:00:23,292 --> 00:00:26,532
Schedule a time? Hold on.
12
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,138
Who's gonna pay for the maintenance
and the tags and everything else?
13
00:00:29,206 --> 00:00:31,208
Well, I'm old-fashioned,
and, you know,
14
00:00:31,276 --> 00:00:34,009
I'd make Sam get a job
so she could pay for it,
15
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,711
but it'll probably
end up being you.
16
00:00:37,783 --> 00:00:39,651
You're like
an evil Tom Sawyer.
17
00:00:39,719 --> 00:00:42,287
I'm not gonna paint
your fence
18
00:00:42,355 --> 00:00:44,389
and I'm not gonna buy your car.
Here, take your pink slip back.
19
00:00:44,456 --> 00:00:46,724
It's too late. I already
told Sam and she's thrilled.
20
00:00:46,792 --> 00:00:49,059
But if you want to break
her heart, it's your car.
21
00:00:50,628 --> 00:00:52,060
You can't take advantage
of me, old man.
22
00:00:52,128 --> 00:00:55,297
I know where you live
because I pay your rent.
23
00:00:55,365 --> 00:00:57,166
This is why
you don't get cable.
24
00:01:01,438 --> 00:01:03,671
Sorry. Sorry.
25
00:01:03,739 --> 00:01:06,741
I'm sure you all heard that.
Little problem with my dad.
26
00:01:06,808 --> 00:01:08,676
I accidentally confused him
27
00:01:08,744 --> 00:01:11,380
with a caring
and loving grandfather.
28
00:01:11,448 --> 00:01:13,416
How'd that make you feel?
29
00:01:13,483 --> 00:01:15,851
Well, thanks, Ed.
I appreciate your concern.
30
00:01:15,919 --> 00:01:17,486
It was a little upsetting.
31
00:01:17,554 --> 00:01:18,955
- Really?
- Yeah.
32
00:01:19,022 --> 00:01:20,991
Why don't we talk about it
for six months?
33
00:01:22,493 --> 00:01:24,621
Did you use your tools?
34
00:01:24,689 --> 00:01:27,369
Well, you're clearly having
a worse day than usual.
35
00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:29,831
Why, because I'm not my usual
36
00:01:29,899 --> 00:01:32,968
ray of goddamn sunshine?
37
00:01:33,036 --> 00:01:34,803
Well, let's try
to turn it around today.
38
00:01:34,871 --> 00:01:37,940
Talk about the positive things we
can take from negative experiences.
39
00:01:38,008 --> 00:01:40,743
For example, I just found
another reason
40
00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,911
not to be sad
when my dad dies.
41
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,082
- Who wants to go next?
- I will.
42
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:48,984
I had a negative experience
that taught me
43
00:01:49,052 --> 00:01:52,454
that a good friend is the most
important thing in the world.
44
00:01:52,522 --> 00:01:54,288
Well, that's great.
How did you learn that?
45
00:01:54,356 --> 00:01:56,891
'Cause I was at this club and
this girl gave me a dirty look.
46
00:01:56,959 --> 00:02:00,195
So I threw my drink in her face, but
the stir stick hit her in the eye
47
00:02:00,262 --> 00:02:03,832
and her friend was nice enough
to take her to the hospital.
48
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,135
That meant a lot to me.
49
00:02:06,203 --> 00:02:09,671
I've got another
positive spin on that story.
50
00:02:09,739 --> 00:02:11,273
That's great, Ed.
Let's hear it.
51
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:14,476
Well, an innocent girl got
tired of using her eyeball,
52
00:02:14,544 --> 00:02:17,979
so Lacey tries
to poke it out for her.
53
00:02:18,047 --> 00:02:20,715
Of course,
I'm not a professional.
54
00:02:20,783 --> 00:02:23,418
I can tell you what else
you're not... a subtle drunk.
55
00:02:23,486 --> 00:02:25,687
I can smell the Old Grand-Dad
from here, old granddad.
56
00:02:27,223 --> 00:02:28,523
Ed, what's in the can?
57
00:02:28,591 --> 00:02:30,425
Narc.
58
00:02:30,493 --> 00:02:32,060
Ed, you can't drink in group.
59
00:02:32,128 --> 00:02:35,096
I can fix that. I'll go home.
60
00:02:35,164 --> 00:02:39,133
Hey, look, I made a
positive out of a negative.
61
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,035
Ed, Ed, Ed, please sit down.
62
00:02:41,102 --> 00:02:42,803
No, no, it won't do any good.
63
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,973
I'm not getting any better.
What's 20 minutes gonna do?
64
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,676
I'll just call my wife and tell
her to burn my dinner early.
65
00:02:48,744 --> 00:02:50,645
She's the only reason
I'm here anyway.
66
00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:53,014
Wow. Your wife
makes you come here?
67
00:02:53,082 --> 00:02:55,349
No, it's purely coincidental
68
00:02:55,417 --> 00:02:59,387
that if I don't come,
my wife said she'd leave me.
69
00:02:59,454 --> 00:03:02,756
Ed, Ed, these are all things you
should talk about in group.
70
00:03:02,824 --> 00:03:04,091
Why don't you stick around?
71
00:03:04,159 --> 00:03:05,826
Nope, I'm leaving.
You can't stop me.
72
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,928
Yeah, let's just leave that
to the telephone pole
73
00:03:07,996 --> 00:03:10,030
at the end of the block.
74
00:03:10,097 --> 00:03:13,199
Okay, because of that,
you're taking Ed home.
75
00:03:13,267 --> 00:03:15,701
Hey, it's all right with me.
76
00:03:15,769 --> 00:03:18,838
'Cause I actually care
about my fellow human beings.
77
00:03:18,906 --> 00:03:21,675
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That was way too easy.
78
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,211
Where were you planning
on taking him?
79
00:03:23,278 --> 00:03:25,513
Transvestite bar
in Koreatown.
80
00:03:27,883 --> 00:03:29,984
- Lacey, would you take Ed home?
- I'd be glad to.
81
00:03:30,052 --> 00:03:31,920
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lacey.
82
00:03:33,355 --> 00:03:35,924
Black comedy club,
South Central.
83
00:03:35,992 --> 00:03:39,227
- Nolan?
- Yeah?
84
00:03:39,295 --> 00:03:41,496
I trust you.
85
00:03:41,564 --> 00:03:42,764
Would you please
take Ed home?
86
00:03:42,832 --> 00:03:44,733
Okay.
87
00:03:44,801 --> 00:03:46,802
I only have a twin bed,
88
00:03:46,869 --> 00:03:48,270
but we can sleep head to toe.
89
00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:53,508
Charlie: Ah, that was great.
90
00:03:53,576 --> 00:03:55,610
I told you you'd like it.
91
00:03:55,678 --> 00:03:57,379
High five.
92
00:04:00,183 --> 00:04:03,752
Listen, I'm having a problem
with one of my patients.
93
00:04:03,820 --> 00:04:06,889
Seriously? Untie me.
94
00:04:06,957 --> 00:04:08,425
Well, I would, but then
you wouldn't listen to me
95
00:04:08,492 --> 00:04:11,228
talk about
one of my patients.
96
00:04:11,296 --> 00:04:13,630
Ed has been
very disruptive in group.
97
00:04:13,698 --> 00:04:15,899
- Pickles.
- What?
98
00:04:15,967 --> 00:04:17,834
- I thought that was our safe word.
- No, we changed it.
99
00:04:17,902 --> 00:04:20,003
Anyway, he's a tough old guy.
100
00:04:20,071 --> 00:04:21,972
I've had clients that age.
101
00:04:22,039 --> 00:04:23,673
Sometimes they're just
too set in their ways.
102
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,909
If he's a problem,
cut him loose.
103
00:04:25,977 --> 00:04:28,711
While you're at it,
cut me loose, too.
104
00:04:28,779 --> 00:04:30,814
No. No. No man left behind.
105
00:04:30,881 --> 00:04:32,716
I've got to find
a way to help him.
106
00:04:32,784 --> 00:04:33,884
Spackle.
107
00:04:33,952 --> 00:04:36,186
Close.
108
00:04:36,254 --> 00:04:39,155
But it doesn't matter. I thought
maybe we could go again.
109
00:04:39,223 --> 00:04:40,557
Already?
110
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,359
Yeah, I used that Chinese
herb stuff you gave me
111
00:04:42,427 --> 00:04:44,795
for my birthday and it works.
112
00:04:44,863 --> 00:04:47,931
No wonder they got
two billion people.
113
00:04:47,999 --> 00:04:51,001
You're kidding me.
I forgot to get you a gift,
114
00:04:51,069 --> 00:04:53,504
so I just dumped some spices
and tea in a jar.
115
00:04:53,572 --> 00:04:56,507
- That was a joke.
- So it was all me?
116
00:04:56,574 --> 00:04:59,409
Well, I'd like to think
I was in there somewhere.
117
00:04:59,477 --> 00:05:01,645
Maybe this could work for Ed?
118
00:05:01,713 --> 00:05:04,649
Are you two having
trouble in the bedroom?
119
00:05:04,717 --> 00:05:06,718
No, no, no.
But if I can convince Ed
120
00:05:06,786 --> 00:05:09,153
to take some kind of magic bullet
that'll suppress his anger,
121
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:11,289
he'll believe it
and feel less angry.
122
00:05:11,356 --> 00:05:13,057
Nope, bad idea.
123
00:05:13,125 --> 00:05:15,827
Placebos are fine for drug
research, but not for therapy.
124
00:05:15,894 --> 00:05:18,062
And are you okay
with lying to a patient?
125
00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:19,964
Well, I'll have
to tell him eventually,
126
00:05:20,031 --> 00:05:22,167
but hopefully by then he'll
have enough positive results
127
00:05:22,235 --> 00:05:24,172
and realize that it was
in him all along.
128
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,509
But you tell me
if you think I'm wrong.
129
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:28,018
You're wrong.
130
00:05:28,086 --> 00:05:30,021
See? Even you're not sure.
131
00:05:31,424 --> 00:05:33,592
[Theme music playing]
132
00:05:33,593 --> 00:05:37,010
Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.com
133
00:05:37,010 --> 00:05:39,680
Holy crap. How many pages
do I have to fill out
134
00:05:39,747 --> 00:05:42,015
just so you can go on a field
trip to feed the homeless?
135
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:44,184
Well, I need your permission
to go into that neighborhood.
136
00:05:44,251 --> 00:05:45,952
There's a homeless
neighborhood?
137
00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:48,755
Here's an idea.
Let's build some houses there.
138
00:05:48,823 --> 00:05:50,757
Okay, fine. Let's do this.
139
00:05:51,926 --> 00:05:54,027
"Does your child have lice?"
140
00:05:54,095 --> 00:05:55,929
No.
141
00:05:55,997 --> 00:05:58,365
"Any emotional issues or disorders
that might create a difficulty
142
00:05:58,432 --> 00:06:00,033
for your child to participate
in this activity?"
143
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:04,037
Do we finally tell them
I have OCD or not?
144
00:06:04,105 --> 00:06:05,672
I thought we were going to save
that little gem for college
145
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,307
when we start begging
for financial aid.
146
00:06:08,742 --> 00:06:10,710
You write down OCD,
sweetheart,
147
00:06:10,778 --> 00:06:13,279
and it could ruin your chances
of getting a job someday.
148
00:06:13,347 --> 00:06:15,014
Or it could help me land
149
00:06:15,082 --> 00:06:18,417
that touch-everything-twice job
I've always dreamt about.
150
00:06:18,485 --> 00:06:20,252
Thanks for the parenting
advice, Dad,
151
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,721
but we want Sam to think of you
as more of a cautionary tale.
152
00:06:24,791 --> 00:06:28,194
All right, we will leave this
decision for the next field trip.
153
00:06:28,261 --> 00:06:29,862
- There you go, sweetie.
- Thank you.
154
00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:33,299
You ask me, all this
paperwork's a lot of nonsense.
155
00:06:33,367 --> 00:06:36,002
When I was a kid, we learned how
to milk rattlesnakes in school
156
00:06:36,069 --> 00:06:38,738
and nobody had to sign crap.
157
00:06:38,806 --> 00:06:41,541
Are you ever going to stop being a pain
in the ass or have you just given up?
158
00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:48,915
Hey, Charlie, before I leave, can
I ask you something about Kate?
159
00:06:48,983 --> 00:06:50,650
Does she hate me?
160
00:06:50,718 --> 00:06:52,919
No. No, she likes you. Why?
161
00:06:52,987 --> 00:06:56,089
Well, I texted her a couple of
times about us going out together
162
00:06:56,156 --> 00:06:57,957
and she never got back to me.
163
00:06:58,025 --> 00:07:00,427
- I know she's really busy.
- Well, it kind of bums me out.
164
00:07:00,495 --> 00:07:02,228
I mean, I barely have
any women friends
165
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:04,897
and I just thought, you know,
you guys are so close,
166
00:07:04,965 --> 00:07:06,933
she must be pretty fun
to hang out with.
167
00:07:07,001 --> 00:07:10,270
I wouldn't say fun.
168
00:07:10,337 --> 00:07:13,138
I mean, we're friends,
but I bring, like,
169
00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:15,640
80% of the fun.
170
00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:18,376
She may be 10.
171
00:07:18,444 --> 00:07:19,944
There's another 10%
that's, like,
172
00:07:20,011 --> 00:07:22,012
I don't know, accidental fun.
173
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,648
Well, then, maybe think
about the three of us
174
00:07:24,716 --> 00:07:27,217
doing something together sometime.
That could be fun.
175
00:07:27,285 --> 00:07:29,152
Oh, I have thought about it.
176
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:31,088
[Chuckles] You're
right, it could be fun.
177
00:07:32,824 --> 00:07:35,092
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming in early.
178
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,560
Something I want
to talk to you about.
179
00:07:36,628 --> 00:07:37,895
Hey, where's Ed?
180
00:07:37,963 --> 00:07:39,597
That's what this is about.
181
00:07:39,665 --> 00:07:41,499
I asked him to come
at the normal time.
182
00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:44,932
Now, I know we all think
Ed can be a pain at times,
183
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,932
but deep down I think
we all care about him
184
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,434
and don't want to see
him suffer, right?
185
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:51,003
Oh, my God. We're gonna
have him put down.
186
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,873
No, we're not gonna
have Ed destroyed.
187
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:56,976
- But...
- No.
188
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,178
I'm just gonna be trying
a new technique on him.
189
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:02,415
But in order for it to work,
I need you all to participate.
190
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,750
You're gonna be taking
placebo pills.
191
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,686
I'm gonna tell Ed
that it's been proven
192
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:08,621
to decrease anger
and negativity
193
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,958
while filling you with a sense of
euphoria and love for your fellow man.
194
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,026
- Like ecstasy.
- Yeah, yeah.
195
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:16,128
I guess we're pretending that there
are similar qualities, sure.
196
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,497
Well, why can't you
just give us ecstasy?
197
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:20,065
Because it's illegal
198
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,900
and I'm not gonna
hand out any real drugs.
199
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,335
I just need you guys
to pretend
200
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,536
that you've been taking it
for a week and it works.
201
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,305
I have a better idea.
202
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,307
Why don't you give Ed
the sugar pill
203
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,677
and we'll take the ecstasy?
204
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,547
[Sighs] I'm not
giving anybody ecstasy.
205
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,114
You're all taking
sugar pills.
206
00:08:36,181 --> 00:08:38,013
It's called
deception therapy.
207
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,148
But the only way it works
is if you all participate.
208
00:08:40,216 --> 00:08:42,551
One more question.
209
00:08:42,618 --> 00:08:46,488
Will this placebo
react badly with my ecstasy?
210
00:08:48,657 --> 00:08:52,125
Ed. Perfect timing.
211
00:08:52,193 --> 00:08:53,993
I was just checking
the results of the new pills
212
00:08:54,061 --> 00:08:55,928
I gave the group after
you left early last week.
213
00:08:55,996 --> 00:08:57,262
What kind of pills?
214
00:08:57,330 --> 00:09:00,131
It's a pill that actually
reduces anger
215
00:09:00,199 --> 00:09:02,399
while promoting feelings
of love and tolerance.
216
00:09:02,467 --> 00:09:04,268
I'd love for you to be
part of the test group.
217
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,336
We're seeing great results.
Just ask Patrick.
218
00:09:08,473 --> 00:09:11,174
Well, uh,
I started a week ago
219
00:09:11,242 --> 00:09:14,276
and I have
never felt happier.
220
00:09:14,344 --> 00:09:16,044
Which kind of happy?
221
00:09:16,112 --> 00:09:18,046
I just got Cher tickets happy
222
00:09:18,113 --> 00:09:21,382
or I just met the queer guy
from "Glee" happy?
223
00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:23,050
[laughs]
224
00:09:23,118 --> 00:09:25,819
Oh, Edward.
225
00:09:25,887 --> 00:09:27,954
You see? Patrick's a
totally different person.
226
00:09:28,022 --> 00:09:30,856
But this one's gay, too.
227
00:09:30,924 --> 00:09:33,392
All right, maybe I will try
228
00:09:33,460 --> 00:09:36,228
as long as it doesn't interfere
with my cholesterol medicine.
229
00:09:36,296 --> 00:09:38,296
- It won't.
- What about my blood pressure pills?
230
00:09:38,364 --> 00:09:40,832
- Absolutely not.
- My prostate pills?
231
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:43,435
Antifungal? Blood thinner?
232
00:09:43,502 --> 00:09:45,870
Restless leg? Sleepy leg?
233
00:09:45,937 --> 00:09:49,139
No, I'm pretty sure this is one
that just blends in with the crowd.
234
00:09:49,207 --> 00:09:51,542
All right.
You've sold me on it.
235
00:09:51,609 --> 00:09:53,643
I'll go get some water.
236
00:09:53,711 --> 00:09:55,211
Boy, I hope this works.
237
00:09:55,279 --> 00:09:57,680
Because if it doesn't,
I'll probably lose my wife,
238
00:09:57,747 --> 00:10:00,516
my house, and everything
that's dear to me.
239
00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:03,652
Mmm, sugary.
240
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,910
I just got your text.
241
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,280
Please don't make me
go out with Jen.
242
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,615
Just once.
243
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:18,718
Otherwise she wants to hang out with
both of us on our playdate nights.
244
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,587
And that's worse. Right?
245
00:10:21,756 --> 00:10:23,456
Right.
246
00:10:23,524 --> 00:10:25,092
I can't do it.
247
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,593
I hate lying to Jen about us.
248
00:10:26,661 --> 00:10:28,829
It makes me feel
like a creep.
249
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,830
Look, you and I were just friends back
when Jen and I were still married.
250
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,799
If she finds out we're
sleeping together now,
251
00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:34,867
she'll never believe we
weren't doing it back then.
252
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:38,471
Even if that's true, Jen and
I have nothing in common.
253
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:39,939
One time.
254
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,273
It'll be way better than
her trying to hang out
255
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,041
with us on the nights
we want to have sex.
256
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,477
Right?
257
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,145
Let me know.
258
00:10:50,581 --> 00:10:52,114
All right.
259
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:53,649
How are those pills
working out for everybody?
260
00:10:53,717 --> 00:10:54,583
- Awesome.
- Great.
261
00:10:55,952 --> 00:10:57,119
Ed?
262
00:10:59,956 --> 00:11:02,357
I'm so happy
I could kiss all of you.
263
00:11:04,026 --> 00:11:05,793
Ed, what's happening
to your face?
264
00:11:05,861 --> 00:11:07,828
Are you having
some kind of a stroke?
265
00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:09,963
Oh, my God. You're smiling.
266
00:11:10,031 --> 00:11:12,998
Yeah.
I've never been so happy.
267
00:11:13,066 --> 00:11:15,700
I was pulling out of
the Home Depot last night
268
00:11:15,768 --> 00:11:17,869
and somebody blocked me in.
269
00:11:17,936 --> 00:11:19,303
But I didn't get pissed off.
270
00:11:19,371 --> 00:11:22,373
I just sat in my car
and watched two Mexicans
271
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:23,807
eat shaved ice.
272
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:26,843
It was beautiful.
273
00:11:26,911 --> 00:11:30,714
Actually, Ed,
I think any ethnicity
274
00:11:30,781 --> 00:11:32,749
eating shaved ice
is beautiful.
275
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,984
That is a good thought,
Patrick.
276
00:11:38,655 --> 00:11:41,189
Oh, before we start,
my wife and I
277
00:11:41,257 --> 00:11:44,793
are having a little shindig
for our 40th this weekend
278
00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:46,761
and she asked me
to invite my friends.
279
00:11:46,829 --> 00:11:49,196
I look around this room
280
00:11:49,264 --> 00:11:51,432
and that's all I see.
281
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,234
I'd be honored to come.
282
00:11:53,302 --> 00:11:55,570
And I'm sure everybody else
would be as well.
283
00:11:55,638 --> 00:11:57,171
- No, I can't.
- I have plans.
284
00:11:57,239 --> 00:11:59,574
I'm bleeding.
285
00:11:59,642 --> 00:12:01,943
That's too bad.
286
00:12:02,011 --> 00:12:03,945
You remember that brother-in-law
I told you about?
287
00:12:04,013 --> 00:12:06,047
The one I went after
with a machete
288
00:12:06,115 --> 00:12:08,450
in that game of horseshoes
a couple of years ago.
289
00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:12,321
Well, I feel so good
that I've invited him
290
00:12:12,388 --> 00:12:14,423
and we're gonna finish
that game of horseshoes.
291
00:12:14,491 --> 00:12:17,059
- Yeah, I could make that.
- I would like to come.
292
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,429
- That's fine.
- Ed, Ed, this is amazing.
293
00:12:19,496 --> 00:12:22,598
He triggered probably
your worst blackout rage.
294
00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:24,100
I'll tell you, Charlie,
he makes me mad.
295
00:12:24,168 --> 00:12:27,269
Well, used to.
But I feel like a new man now.
296
00:12:27,337 --> 00:12:29,271
And I'd just like to say
thank you.
297
00:12:29,339 --> 00:12:31,606
- You're welcome, Ed.
- Not to you.
298
00:12:31,674 --> 00:12:33,876
To the guy that invented
those pills.
299
00:12:33,943 --> 00:12:36,245
Now if the pill can only
do something
300
00:12:36,313 --> 00:12:37,680
about my damn prostate.
301
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,985
This is fantastic.
302
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:46,422
Ed is on the verge of a
tremendous breakthrough.
303
00:12:46,490 --> 00:12:49,225
We are about to witness
the power of the human mind
304
00:12:49,293 --> 00:12:51,894
overcoming years
of hostility and anger.
305
00:12:51,962 --> 00:12:53,729
Yeah, and we're probably
gonna get to watch him
306
00:12:53,797 --> 00:12:55,898
kill his brother-in-law
with a horseshoe.
307
00:12:58,968 --> 00:13:01,003
And that's why I'm convinced
308
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:04,473
that my little Hungarian grandmother
on the way to Ellis Island
309
00:13:04,541 --> 00:13:06,275
invented the body shot.
310
00:13:06,343 --> 00:13:08,578
[laughs]
311
00:13:08,646 --> 00:13:11,181
Could we have a little
more wine over here?
312
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,682
You know,
I have to be honest.
313
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,784
I was a bit hesitant
to go out with you.
314
00:13:14,852 --> 00:13:17,453
I just don't have a lot of
luck hanging out with women.
315
00:13:17,521 --> 00:13:19,855
Really? Me, too.
316
00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:21,390
It's the way we look,
isn't it?
317
00:13:21,458 --> 00:13:22,925
I don't know what it is.
318
00:13:22,993 --> 00:13:24,994
But most women
think I'm a bitch.
319
00:13:25,061 --> 00:13:27,263
I know I did.
320
00:13:28,765 --> 00:13:30,332
What did you think of me?
321
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,236
I thought you were so hot,
you had to be stupid.
322
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,706
That is so sweet.
323
00:13:36,773 --> 00:13:38,241
No, I mean it.
324
00:13:38,308 --> 00:13:39,876
Well, I believe you,
325
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,812
'cause, you know,
you're a lesbian.
326
00:13:41,879 --> 00:13:44,081
- Jennifer.
- Yeah?
327
00:13:44,148 --> 00:13:46,583
Take a drink.
You're gonna need it.
328
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,018
Are you gonna hit on me?
329
00:13:48,086 --> 00:13:50,120
Wait.
330
00:13:51,657 --> 00:13:54,025
Okay, go.
331
00:13:54,093 --> 00:13:56,728
- I'm not gay anymore.
- Oh!
332
00:13:58,264 --> 00:13:59,430
What happened?
333
00:13:59,498 --> 00:14:02,199
I was never strictly gay.
334
00:14:02,267 --> 00:14:04,635
And now I'm officially not.
335
00:14:04,703 --> 00:14:06,838
Oh, was it a tragic affair
336
00:14:06,906 --> 00:14:08,840
with some girl
who broke your heart?
337
00:14:08,908 --> 00:14:11,709
Or did you just miss
the banging?
338
00:14:11,777 --> 00:14:14,412
The banging.
339
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,347
This is perfect.
340
00:14:16,415 --> 00:14:19,050
Listen, you're looking for a
guy, I'm looking for a guy.
341
00:14:19,118 --> 00:14:21,085
We could go hunting together.
342
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:22,453
[Gasps] We're cougars.
343
00:14:24,556 --> 00:14:26,090
You don't want
to hang out with me.
344
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,858
I'm an academic. I'm
really not a lot of fun.
345
00:14:27,926 --> 00:14:31,028
- That's what Charlie said.
- Really?
346
00:14:31,096 --> 00:14:33,798
Yeah, but, you know, I bet
under all that black stuff
347
00:14:33,865 --> 00:14:36,534
is somebody who wants to
bust out and have a good time.
348
00:14:36,602 --> 00:14:37,936
Here's the deal.
349
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:40,706
Thursday, El Tostada
on Ventura Boulevard,
350
00:14:40,774 --> 00:14:42,775
half-price skinny margaritas.
351
00:14:42,843 --> 00:14:45,878
You like musicians? Because there's
a guitar store down the block
352
00:14:45,946 --> 00:14:47,914
and a bunch of those dudes
come in.
353
00:14:47,982 --> 00:14:50,417
Oh, that is definitely
something
354
00:14:50,485 --> 00:14:52,587
I would only do with you.
355
00:14:52,655 --> 00:14:55,156
Then, to us.
356
00:14:55,223 --> 00:14:56,757
Meow!
357
00:14:56,824 --> 00:14:58,758
[laughs]
358
00:14:58,826 --> 00:15:00,327
Yeah, don't do that.
359
00:15:02,196 --> 00:15:04,498
[Music playing]
360
00:15:06,868 --> 00:15:09,203
Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.
361
00:15:09,271 --> 00:15:10,871
- Hell of a time finding this place.
- Me, too.
362
00:15:10,939 --> 00:15:12,840
I put "white racist guy"
in my GPS,
363
00:15:12,908 --> 00:15:14,976
this whole side
of town lit up.
364
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:18,480
I know. Pretty sure I drove
past a White Angus Steakhouse.
365
00:15:18,547 --> 00:15:20,915
Lacey and I
just got here, too.
366
00:15:20,983 --> 00:15:23,217
We had to stop and buy
some vitamins from her friend
367
00:15:23,285 --> 00:15:24,552
in a Burger King parking lot.
368
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,454
That's worrisome.
369
00:15:26,522 --> 00:15:30,091
Hey, there's Ed. We should
go over and give him a hug.
370
00:15:30,159 --> 00:15:33,094
Wait, we should give
each other a hug.
371
00:15:33,162 --> 00:15:35,262
Are you drunk?
372
00:15:35,330 --> 00:15:37,098
No, I'm just on ecstasy.
373
00:15:37,165 --> 00:15:40,134
But I did wash it down
with a mojito.
374
00:15:41,804 --> 00:15:43,338
We'll talk about
this in group.
375
00:15:43,406 --> 00:15:45,040
Yes, we will and for
the rest of our lives.
376
00:15:45,107 --> 00:15:48,276
I'm dancing away.
377
00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:51,780
Hey, Charlie.
Glad you could make it.
378
00:15:51,847 --> 00:15:53,515
Are you kidding?
I wouldn't have missed it.
379
00:15:53,582 --> 00:15:55,149
- How's everything going?
- Oh, pretty good.
380
00:15:55,217 --> 00:15:57,518
Wife's happy. Come here.
381
00:15:57,586 --> 00:16:00,288
I need to ask you a question.
382
00:16:00,355 --> 00:16:03,524
Is it safe to take
two of these in one day?
383
00:16:03,591 --> 00:16:05,626
Sure. It says as needed.
384
00:16:07,328 --> 00:16:09,463
Good, because here comes
that son of a bitch again.
385
00:16:09,531 --> 00:16:11,265
There you are.
386
00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:14,301
Come on, tell me where you're hiding
the good scotch, you cheap bastard.
387
00:16:14,369 --> 00:16:15,969
Hi there. I'm Charlie.
388
00:16:16,037 --> 00:16:17,969
You must be Ray,
Ed's brother-in-law.
389
00:16:18,037 --> 00:16:20,637
That's who I am.
Thanks, I almost forgot.
390
00:16:20,705 --> 00:16:21,805
Jerkoff.
391
00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:26,776
No, seriously.
It's good to meet you.
392
00:16:26,844 --> 00:16:30,179
Ray, these are friends of mine.
This is a party.
393
00:16:30,247 --> 00:16:33,082
I'd appreciate it if you'd
make a little effort.
394
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:35,017
Well, there's
a healthy attitude.
395
00:16:35,085 --> 00:16:37,586
And who among us wouldn't be better
off by making a little effort?
396
00:16:37,653 --> 00:16:39,554
Wait a minute. I know who you are.
You're Ed's shrink.
397
00:16:39,622 --> 00:16:41,922
- That's right.
- Well, congratulations.
398
00:16:41,990 --> 00:16:44,825
You turned him
into a real puss.
399
00:16:44,893 --> 00:16:46,626
I tried to take him
on a hunting trip.
400
00:16:46,694 --> 00:16:48,528
He said, "No.
Too many anger triggers."
401
00:16:48,596 --> 00:16:50,463
Puss!
402
00:16:50,530 --> 00:16:52,865
Ed, weren't you gonna
show me around the house?
403
00:16:52,933 --> 00:16:54,500
No.
404
00:16:54,568 --> 00:16:57,602
Yeah, give him a tour
of Casa Disappointment.
405
00:16:57,670 --> 00:17:00,604
And after that, I want to
finish that game of horseshoes.
406
00:17:00,672 --> 00:17:02,503
I've been waiting a long time
to kick your butt.
407
00:17:02,571 --> 00:17:04,972
You got it, Ray.
408
00:17:05,039 --> 00:17:06,940
Ed, Ed, Ed. Can I talk
to you for a second?
409
00:17:09,476 --> 00:17:11,510
Ed.
410
00:17:11,578 --> 00:17:13,478
Look, you've been
doing a great job.
411
00:17:13,546 --> 00:17:15,680
But now it's time to walk
away from this guy.
412
00:17:15,748 --> 00:17:18,349
I can handle this. I just need to
take a few more of these pills.
413
00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:21,819
Look, Ray is beyond
what these can handle.
414
00:17:23,422 --> 00:17:25,622
Truth is they're...
they're sugar pills, Ed.
415
00:17:25,690 --> 00:17:27,724
They're placebos.
416
00:17:27,792 --> 00:17:29,359
You've been giving me
sugar pills?
417
00:17:29,427 --> 00:17:31,261
Well, here's the best part.
418
00:17:31,329 --> 00:17:33,596
That means you've been controlling
your anger on your own.
419
00:17:33,664 --> 00:17:37,099
You used to be Ed
the angry old guy.
420
00:17:37,167 --> 00:17:39,901
Now you're Ed the old guy.
421
00:17:41,570 --> 00:17:45,005
And everybody knew
about this but me?
422
00:17:45,073 --> 00:17:47,908
I feel like a damn fool.
423
00:17:47,976 --> 00:17:51,177
You've got about 10 seconds
to get off my property.
424
00:17:51,245 --> 00:17:53,312
Ed.
425
00:17:53,379 --> 00:17:56,447
Ed, Ed, you're not a fool.
426
00:17:56,515 --> 00:17:58,950
You've had a breakthrough. So why
don't we just enjoy the party
427
00:17:59,018 --> 00:18:00,585
and we'll talk about this
Tuesday in group?
428
00:18:00,653 --> 00:18:02,320
What do I need group for?
429
00:18:02,388 --> 00:18:06,390
You just said that I can control
my own anger on my own.
430
00:18:06,457 --> 00:18:07,824
- Hey, Ray.
- Huh?
431
00:18:07,892 --> 00:18:10,326
I'm changing my mind.
Pack up the guns and booze.
432
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:11,827
We're going hunting.
433
00:18:11,895 --> 00:18:13,328
All right.
434
00:18:17,984 --> 00:18:19,218
So it didn't go well?
435
00:18:19,285 --> 00:18:21,620
Hey, for a placebo test,
it went very well.
436
00:18:21,688 --> 00:18:24,023
Usually half the group gets
heart disease or cancer.
437
00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:25,858
Ed didn't get any of that.
438
00:18:25,926 --> 00:18:28,460
But you lost a patient
because you tricked him.
439
00:18:28,528 --> 00:18:30,563
I know, I know. He doesn't
trust me anymore. I get it.
440
00:18:30,630 --> 00:18:33,299
So why do you think you went
so far to help this guy?
441
00:18:33,366 --> 00:18:35,668
Good question.
442
00:18:39,606 --> 00:18:42,074
Well, does he remind
you of anyone?
443
00:18:42,142 --> 00:18:44,777
I don't know. Just another
old guy like my dad.
444
00:18:44,845 --> 00:18:46,879
Real stubborn.
445
00:18:46,947 --> 00:18:48,915
Won't listen to anyone
like my dad.
446
00:18:48,982 --> 00:18:50,650
Drinks a little.
447
00:18:50,718 --> 00:18:54,186
Doesn't respect me,
you know, like my dad.
448
00:18:54,254 --> 00:18:56,422
You know who
he reminds me of?
449
00:18:56,490 --> 00:18:59,492
- Wilford Brimley.
- Stop it.
450
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,429
You know, ever since your father
came back into your life,
451
00:19:02,497 --> 00:19:05,165
you've been extremely
frustrated with him.
452
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:07,267
And you've transferred
your need to change your dad
453
00:19:07,335 --> 00:19:09,803
into another
stubborn old guy... Ed.
454
00:19:09,871 --> 00:19:11,972
You're not going
to change Ed,
455
00:19:12,039 --> 00:19:14,474
so break this pattern.
Let him go.
456
00:19:14,541 --> 00:19:16,309
You're right.
457
00:19:16,377 --> 00:19:17,544
I'm gonna go get Ed back.
458
00:19:19,881 --> 00:19:21,582
[Knocking]
459
00:19:23,552 --> 00:19:25,019
What do you want?
460
00:19:25,087 --> 00:19:27,655
I want to apologize.
461
00:19:30,759 --> 00:19:33,695
One of my jobs as your therapist
is to help build your trust.
462
00:19:33,762 --> 00:19:35,897
And in this case,
I feel like I might have
463
00:19:35,965 --> 00:19:37,932
taken advantage of it.
464
00:19:37,998 --> 00:19:40,500
So you want me
to come back, I guess.
465
00:19:40,568 --> 00:19:42,102
Yes, I do.
466
00:19:42,169 --> 00:19:44,104
What's in it for me?
467
00:19:44,171 --> 00:19:47,841
Just the chance to make your life
free from the emotional turmoil
468
00:19:47,908 --> 00:19:50,543
that's followed you around like a
black dog for the last 70 years.
469
00:19:50,611 --> 00:19:53,379
Not enough.
470
00:19:53,447 --> 00:19:55,215
I want a discount.
471
00:19:55,283 --> 00:19:57,016
20%.
472
00:19:57,084 --> 00:19:58,718
This set me way back.
473
00:19:58,785 --> 00:20:00,953
You're right,
it was a horrible setback
474
00:20:01,021 --> 00:20:03,589
and I am responsible.
475
00:20:03,657 --> 00:20:06,926
But I'm seeing this
as more of a 10% setback.
476
00:20:06,993 --> 00:20:09,094
10's fair.
477
00:20:09,162 --> 00:20:11,630
I'll just grab my sweater.
478
00:20:11,698 --> 00:20:13,766
Oh, and I need your
Sigmund Freud on that.
479
00:20:15,635 --> 00:20:17,570
Ed, this is from the Superior
Court of Los Angeles.
480
00:20:17,638 --> 00:20:20,411
Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
481
00:20:20,479 --> 00:20:23,816
They said if I don't want to go to jail,
I've got to go back to anger management.
482
00:20:23,884 --> 00:20:27,354
You tried to kill
your brother-in-law?
483
00:20:27,422 --> 00:20:30,823
No. I just took him
deer hunting.
484
00:20:30,891 --> 00:20:32,458
We got in the middle
of the woods
485
00:20:32,526 --> 00:20:35,428
and I made him put
some antlers on his head
486
00:20:35,496 --> 00:20:39,598
and run through the forest
making deer noises.
487
00:20:39,666 --> 00:20:41,800
Okay. Wow.
488
00:20:41,868 --> 00:20:44,403
Many questions.
489
00:20:44,471 --> 00:20:47,240
Why would he agree to that?
490
00:20:47,307 --> 00:20:49,041
A man will agree to a lot
491
00:20:49,109 --> 00:20:51,844
if a gun's pointed
at his nuts.
492
00:20:51,912 --> 00:20:54,815
So legally you had
to come back anyway.
493
00:20:54,882 --> 00:20:57,651
Yep. Tricked you.
494
00:20:57,719 --> 00:20:59,686
Feels good, don't it?
495
00:21:01,723 --> 00:21:04,359
Oh, Ed, just one more thing.
496
00:21:04,426 --> 00:21:07,328
You said you made your brother-in-law
run around and make deer noises.
497
00:21:07,395 --> 00:21:10,264
Just exactly what does
a deer sound like?
498
00:21:10,331 --> 00:21:13,366
Well, in this case,
it was, "Help me! Help me!"
499
00:21:13,513 --> 00:21:15,755
I'm a man, not a deer!"
500
00:21:16,744 --> 00:21:19,822
Thanks. That was bugging me.
501
00:21:19,823 --> 00:21:31,968
Sync & corrections by No1
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