1 00:00:00,343 --> 00:00:04,250 So, I'm in Victoria Secrets, looking in all the pictures of the models, and I thought: 2 00:00:04,376 --> 00:00:05,996 "What's with all the fatties?" 3 00:00:06,618 --> 00:00:09,635 So I've decided I'm gonna be a lingerie model. 4 00:00:09,702 --> 00:00:11,903 So you wanna become a lingerie model 5 00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,572 just to show that you're skinnier than those women? 6 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,541 Uh, no. That would make me sound bitchy and shallow. 7 00:00:16,609 --> 00:00:18,870 I'm doing this to get back at my mom. 8 00:00:18,938 --> 00:00:21,957 There have to be other ways to deal with your mother. 9 00:00:22,025 --> 00:00:23,453 For example, my ex-wife did it 10 00:00:23,521 --> 00:00:25,888 by marrying a man that her mother hated. 11 00:00:25,955 --> 00:00:29,553 Anyway, I've decided to get pictures taken and start a portfolio. 12 00:00:29,621 --> 00:00:31,853 I already have hundreds of photos of you. 13 00:00:31,921 --> 00:00:33,953 That's nice, Nolan, but she probably can't use 14 00:00:34,021 --> 00:00:37,152 blurry photos of herself shot through bushes. 15 00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:39,655 Actually, photography happens to be one of my hobbies. 16 00:00:39,723 --> 00:00:41,725 Here, look. 17 00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:45,128 I downloaded some of my photos to my phone. 18 00:00:45,196 --> 00:00:48,099 Blurry through the bushes, blurry through the bushes, 19 00:00:48,167 --> 00:00:50,036 blurry through the bushes, 20 00:00:50,104 --> 00:00:52,473 and France. 21 00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:54,943 Oh, wow. This is really great. 22 00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:56,681 This woman in the café looks beautiful. 23 00:00:56,749 --> 00:00:58,850 Well, if you think you can capture 24 00:00:58,918 --> 00:01:00,885 my hotness, then you've got the job. 25 00:01:00,953 --> 00:01:02,787 If we're done talking about the world's first 26 00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:05,059 four-foot-tall supermodel, I'd like to talk about me, please. 27 00:01:05,127 --> 00:01:07,296 Okay. 28 00:01:07,363 --> 00:01:10,398 Last time we talked, we were pretty deep into some issues regarding your career. 29 00:01:10,466 --> 00:01:13,067 This guy always has "quareer" issues. 30 00:01:14,736 --> 00:01:17,904 Oh, I'm not proud of that. I'm gonna put $10 in. 31 00:01:19,641 --> 00:01:21,074 Well, the good news is 32 00:01:21,142 --> 00:01:22,743 I don't have any more career issues 33 00:01:22,811 --> 00:01:25,581 because I took your advice and I quit the department store. 34 00:01:25,649 --> 00:01:28,052 That's huge. You must feel so liberated. 35 00:01:28,119 --> 00:01:30,888 I do. I've been liberated from my paycheck 36 00:01:30,956 --> 00:01:34,426 and pretty soon I'll be liberated from living indoors. 37 00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,930 I've never been so unhappy in my entire life. 38 00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:38,799 But, Patrick, you said you were wasting 39 00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,534 your creative talents as a personal shopper. 40 00:01:40,602 --> 00:01:42,603 But that didn't mean I had to quit. 41 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,672 Everyone gets frustrated with their jobs. 42 00:01:44,740 --> 00:01:46,541 I'm already a little bored with modeling. 43 00:01:48,077 --> 00:01:50,879 I've never been out of a job in my entire life. 44 00:01:50,947 --> 00:01:53,015 I have worked steadily since I was 15. 45 00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:55,285 - [Car pulls up] - I hear you and I understand, 46 00:01:55,353 --> 00:01:57,488 but we can't go overtime today. 47 00:01:57,555 --> 00:01:58,778 Is there a moment this week that you're free to talk? 48 00:01:58,791 --> 00:02:00,024 Let me check. 49 00:02:00,092 --> 00:02:02,727 Um... yeah, every second. 50 00:02:02,795 --> 00:02:04,829 I can work around that. 51 00:02:04,897 --> 00:02:07,933 Look, guys, 52 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,302 this client coming in is kind of high profile, 53 00:02:11,370 --> 00:02:13,238 so I trust that you'll extend the same confidentiality 54 00:02:13,305 --> 00:02:14,806 that you extend to each other. 55 00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:17,274 Oh, God, let it be Angie Dickinson. 56 00:02:18,644 --> 00:02:20,278 It's Cee Lo Green. 57 00:02:20,346 --> 00:02:22,181 Who the hell's Cee Lo Green? 58 00:02:22,249 --> 00:02:24,650 You see, that's the type of confidentiality I'm looking for. 59 00:02:24,718 --> 00:02:27,487 You know, I used to be all about 60 00:02:27,554 --> 00:02:29,389 millionaire black basketball players 61 00:02:29,457 --> 00:02:31,625 until a millionaire black singer 62 00:02:31,692 --> 00:02:34,762 - pulled into your driveway. - [Knocking on door] 63 00:02:36,065 --> 00:02:38,166 Hey, Charlie. I hope I'm not too late. 64 00:02:38,234 --> 00:02:40,335 - No, no. We're just finishing up. - Cool. 65 00:02:40,402 --> 00:02:42,003 See you next week, everybody. 66 00:02:42,071 --> 00:02:44,005 Cee Lo: Shawty. 67 00:02:44,073 --> 00:02:45,507 - Hi, Cee Lo. - Hi. 68 00:02:45,575 --> 00:02:49,311 You don't know me yet, but I'm a lingerie supermodel. 69 00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:51,480 Call me. Here's my phone. 70 00:02:51,548 --> 00:02:52,915 You don't wanna keep that. 71 00:02:52,983 --> 00:02:56,319 She has "find-a-phone." She'll know where you live. 72 00:02:56,387 --> 00:02:58,555 Bye. 73 00:02:58,622 --> 00:03:01,124 Please, come on in. 74 00:03:01,192 --> 00:03:03,193 - Thank you. - It's such a pleasure to meet you. 75 00:03:03,261 --> 00:03:04,795 You, too. 76 00:03:04,863 --> 00:03:07,097 Listen, Charlie, I'm sorry. 77 00:03:07,165 --> 00:03:09,600 Coming here to therapy is not gonna work for me. 78 00:03:09,668 --> 00:03:11,468 Well, at least you gave it a fair shot. 79 00:03:13,238 --> 00:03:15,573 That's not what I mean. What I mean is... 80 00:03:15,641 --> 00:03:18,677 I want you to be on call for me 24/7. 81 00:03:18,744 --> 00:03:22,113 You see, I've got this reputation for being, like, a nice guy and all of that, 82 00:03:22,181 --> 00:03:24,416 but I'm under a lot of stress at the moment 83 00:03:24,483 --> 00:03:27,252 and I don't wanna blow up and ruin my reputation. 84 00:03:27,321 --> 00:03:29,622 Yeah, there's no coming back from something like that. 85 00:03:31,325 --> 00:03:32,959 I just need you for a few weeks 86 00:03:33,027 --> 00:03:35,829 while I'm rehearsing my new show "Loberace." 87 00:03:35,897 --> 00:03:38,665 24/7, that's quite a commitment. 88 00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:41,235 Charlie, come on. What do I gotta do to sweeten the deal? 89 00:03:41,302 --> 00:03:43,770 I'm sorry, Cee Lo. I wish there was something that I... 90 00:03:45,073 --> 00:03:46,540 Wait a minute. There is something. 91 00:03:46,608 --> 00:03:49,043 I have a friend who's a very talented stylist 92 00:03:49,111 --> 00:03:51,412 who I just encouraged to quit his job 93 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,247 and, well, he needs a new one. 94 00:03:53,315 --> 00:03:55,183 Send him to me. I'll put him on my team. 95 00:03:55,251 --> 00:03:57,052 Really? Just like that? 96 00:03:57,119 --> 00:04:00,022 I love to give people breaks, especially if they can sing, 97 00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:02,224 but everybody thinks they can sing. 98 00:04:04,361 --> 00:04:06,363 - You got yourself a deal. - All right. 99 00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:08,031 Okay, one more favor I need from you. 100 00:04:08,099 --> 00:04:11,835 The girl I met on the way in, I want her number. 101 00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:14,071 I'm gonna do you an even bigger favor, 102 00:04:14,139 --> 00:04:16,073 I'm not gonna give it to you. 103 00:04:17,342 --> 00:04:19,143 [Theme music playing] 104 00:04:23,016 --> 00:04:24,650 All right, before I take off this robe, 105 00:04:24,718 --> 00:04:27,019 - I'm gonna go over the rules. - Rules? 106 00:04:27,087 --> 00:04:29,589 Number one, you're not allowed to touch the model. 107 00:04:29,657 --> 00:04:31,758 Is the model's hair part of the model? 108 00:04:31,826 --> 00:04:33,994 Yes, and so are the feet. 109 00:04:34,062 --> 00:04:37,431 My God, who made these rules? 110 00:04:37,499 --> 00:04:40,001 Number two, you're not allowed to do anything weird, 111 00:04:40,069 --> 00:04:41,836 like sniffing my couch. 112 00:04:41,904 --> 00:04:45,340 Damn it, they thought of everything. 113 00:04:45,408 --> 00:04:47,375 Can you abide by those rules? 114 00:04:47,443 --> 00:04:50,412 - Yes. - Okay, then. Let's do this. 115 00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:55,417 [Whimpers] 116 00:04:57,219 --> 00:04:59,721 - Are you okay? - Yes. 117 00:04:59,789 --> 00:05:01,623 Right, so... 118 00:05:03,193 --> 00:05:04,693 mount the couch. 119 00:05:08,030 --> 00:05:10,299 Okay, now relax a little. 120 00:05:11,801 --> 00:05:13,535 Okay, that's good. 121 00:05:13,603 --> 00:05:16,873 - Be a little flirty. - [Laughs] 122 00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:20,375 Okay, show me those eyes. 123 00:05:20,443 --> 00:05:23,478 Yes. Okay, pretend you're making love to me. 124 00:05:23,546 --> 00:05:26,547 I mean, me. I mean, me. I mean, the camera. 125 00:05:28,751 --> 00:05:31,252 So how do I look? Like a supermodel? 126 00:05:31,319 --> 00:05:33,387 Yeah. 127 00:05:33,455 --> 00:05:36,256 I'm just thinking you should turn the other way so we can get your good side. 128 00:05:36,324 --> 00:05:37,657 My good side? 129 00:05:37,725 --> 00:05:40,594 No, no, no, no. Both sides are perfect... 130 00:05:40,661 --> 00:05:43,130 but one side's not as good. 131 00:05:43,197 --> 00:05:46,032 You know, I always knew my left side was my bad side. 132 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,302 That's why nobody hits on me when I'm driving. 133 00:05:48,369 --> 00:05:51,372 I would do so much better if I lived in England. 134 00:05:51,439 --> 00:05:54,474 - Well, it's true. - Thanks, Nolan. 135 00:05:54,542 --> 00:05:58,378 - Nobody's ever been honest with me before. - No problem. 136 00:05:58,446 --> 00:06:01,414 Let me change the lens so I can get a little less depth of field. 137 00:06:10,859 --> 00:06:12,827 Could we please not tell the rules committee? 138 00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:20,535 - How long were you at that conference? - Two weeks. 139 00:06:20,603 --> 00:06:23,104 It felt like two years. Let's do this. 140 00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:28,176 [Moans] 141 00:06:28,243 --> 00:06:30,344 That blouse was $400. 142 00:06:30,412 --> 00:06:33,614 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 143 00:06:33,682 --> 00:06:35,316 No, that's what made it hot. Kiss me. 144 00:06:38,353 --> 00:06:40,054 I don't have to pay you back for that, do I? 145 00:06:40,122 --> 00:06:43,058 No, don't worry about it. Just rip off my skirt. 146 00:06:44,827 --> 00:06:46,694 I'm gonna go slow. This looks a little pricey. 147 00:06:49,265 --> 00:06:51,866 - Rip it off! - I can't. I'm already into you for $400. 148 00:06:51,934 --> 00:06:53,801 [Sighs] 149 00:06:53,869 --> 00:06:55,436 [cell phone chiming] 150 00:06:55,504 --> 00:06:57,505 You aren't gonna answer that, are you? 151 00:06:57,573 --> 00:07:01,275 - I have to. It's Cee Lo. - [Groans] 152 00:07:01,343 --> 00:07:04,612 Hello. Oh, hey, buddy. 153 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:06,814 Right now? 154 00:07:06,882 --> 00:07:08,249 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, no problem. 155 00:07:08,317 --> 00:07:10,018 I'll see you soon. 156 00:07:10,085 --> 00:07:11,820 I'm sorry, Kate. I gotta go. 157 00:07:11,887 --> 00:07:13,988 I can't believe you agreed to be on call. 158 00:07:14,056 --> 00:07:15,723 Once again, 159 00:07:15,791 --> 00:07:18,326 this is you getting overly involved in your patients' lives. 160 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:21,797 Cee Lo is a very busy man and he can't come to me on a regularly scheduled basis. 161 00:07:21,864 --> 00:07:23,432 So that's why you're doing this? 162 00:07:23,499 --> 00:07:24,934 Not really. 163 00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:27,169 I'm doing this so Patrick can have a job. 164 00:07:27,237 --> 00:07:29,905 What if I need you? What if I have an emergency? 165 00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:33,808 You're right. This is crazy. 166 00:07:33,876 --> 00:07:35,610 I'm gonna call him back and tell him I can't make it. 167 00:07:39,348 --> 00:07:41,816 Hello? 168 00:07:41,884 --> 00:07:43,485 Yeah, I'm on the freeway. I'll see you soon. 169 00:07:47,623 --> 00:07:48,957 [Huffs] 170 00:07:50,668 --> 00:07:52,569 Dad, pulp or no pulp? 171 00:07:52,637 --> 00:07:55,840 - Dad! - What? 172 00:07:55,907 --> 00:07:58,109 I don't know why you invited us over for breakfast 173 00:07:58,176 --> 00:08:00,077 if you're gonna be out on a date all night. 174 00:08:00,145 --> 00:08:02,046 I wasn't on a date. 175 00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:04,816 I was at customs all night trying to keep Cee Lo Green 176 00:08:04,883 --> 00:08:07,752 from getting upset because his gold-plated piano 177 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,821 showed up from Monaco with a scratch. 178 00:08:09,888 --> 00:08:11,622 Okay, if you're just gonna string together 179 00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:13,925 random sets of words, we're going home. 180 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,160 No, no, no, no. Cee lo's a patient now, but don't get excited. 181 00:08:16,228 --> 00:08:17,795 He's just a regular guy like anybody else. 182 00:08:17,863 --> 00:08:19,798 Puts his pants on one leg at a time. 183 00:08:19,865 --> 00:08:22,000 Yeah, but his pants are gold lamé 184 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,335 and they cost a million dollars. 185 00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:27,606 I gotta meet him, Charlie. 186 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,742 Yeah, I know, but you're never gonna meet him. 187 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,711 But I really have to. 188 00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:34,046 - [Doorbell rings] - Oh, that's different. You never will. 189 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:37,050 Okay, Cee Lo is at the front door. What do we do? 190 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,685 Relax, relax, relax. 191 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,853 We answer the door. 192 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,889 I've done it dozens of times. It works. 193 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,525 - Right. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 194 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:48,694 Before you go. Remember, as long as Cee lo's in this house, 195 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,496 he's not a celebrity, he's a patient. 196 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:53,032 - So I want you on your best behavior. - Yeah, Charlie, I know. 197 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,134 - I'm a grown woman. - Oh, come on. 198 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,670 I've seen how crazy you get when you think you've spotted a celebrity. 199 00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,872 Remember the time you begged. 200 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,041 "Willie Nelson" for his autograph? 201 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,877 I'm telling you, that was Willie Nelson. 202 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:07,847 It was a homeless man. 203 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,517 If it was Willie Nelson, he wouldn't have asked you for a dollar. 204 00:09:10,585 --> 00:09:13,253 If you know anything about Willie Nelson, 205 00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:15,989 you know he's had a lot of tax problems. 206 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,492 Yeah, but he doesn't wear six jackets in the middle of July. 207 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,862 Just be cool. 208 00:09:23,431 --> 00:09:25,031 Hey, there he is. 209 00:09:25,099 --> 00:09:27,400 - Hey, Cee Lo. How are you? - What's up, bro? 210 00:09:27,468 --> 00:09:29,135 Hey, so this is for you. 211 00:09:29,203 --> 00:09:31,838 A token of my appreciation for helping me out last night. 212 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,873 - Oh, you shouldn't have, but thank you. - No problem. 213 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,708 - I see you've met my daughter Sam. - I did. 214 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:37,543 - My ex-wife Jennifer. - Well, it's very nice to meet you. 215 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,712 - My name is Cee Lo. - I know who you are. 216 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,714 And if I met you on the street 217 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:44,283 and you were wearing six jackets and sharing pizza with a dog, 218 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,952 - I'd still know it's you. - Hmm. 219 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,754 Give us a minute, ladies. 220 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,192 Nice to meet you, Cee Lo. 221 00:09:56,731 --> 00:09:59,032 You know, you really didn't have to do this. 222 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:01,568 Well, I didn't. My assistant Steve picked it up. 223 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,537 - Oh, well, then thank him for me. - I will. 224 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,705 That will help soften the blow. 225 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,374 What... what blow? 226 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,575 Well, I want you to tell him that he sucks, 227 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,710 that he needs to get his act together. 228 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,947 - Why can't you do that? - Because I have an image to protect. 229 00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:18,150 Can't you see how adorable I am? 230 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,720 Look, Cee Lo, I can be there when you talk to him so you don't blow up, 231 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,389 but I'm not gonna tell him for you. 232 00:10:24,456 --> 00:10:26,558 Are you sure, Charlie? I mean, he's a pretty bad assistant. 233 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:28,826 That's some cheap-ass champagne. 234 00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:30,928 No, no. I'm sorry. I can't. 235 00:10:30,996 --> 00:10:33,297 Okay, then. Fine. 236 00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:36,201 You're getting the frown. 237 00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:38,136 Stop it. 238 00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:39,838 It's almost as adorable as the smile. 239 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:45,411 - What are you having? - An anxiety attack. 240 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,948 That's not one of those damn mixology drinks, is it? 241 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,584 I did not become a bartender because I wanted to think. 242 00:10:53,187 --> 00:10:54,787 Do you know anything about women? 243 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:57,089 I'm gonna talk to you anyway. 244 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,092 Go ahead. 245 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:02,495 I was taking pictures of this girl who always ignores me, 246 00:11:02,563 --> 00:11:04,464 and then out of the blue, she kissed me. 247 00:11:04,532 --> 00:11:06,800 Did anything happen before she kissed you? 248 00:11:06,868 --> 00:11:09,836 I said something about how the left side of her face 249 00:11:09,904 --> 00:11:11,404 isn't as good as the right. 250 00:11:11,472 --> 00:11:13,940 - And this is a pretty girl? - Very. 251 00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:17,277 You may not know this 'cause you're a dork... 252 00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:19,446 Go on. 253 00:11:19,514 --> 00:11:21,682 But women who base their self-esteem 254 00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,784 on their looks are usually pretty insecure, 255 00:11:23,852 --> 00:11:26,286 so when you point out a flaw, it freaks them out 256 00:11:26,354 --> 00:11:28,489 and they would do anything to get you to like them. 257 00:11:28,556 --> 00:11:31,024 So she was nice to me because I criticized her. 258 00:11:31,092 --> 00:11:32,860 Cool. 259 00:11:32,927 --> 00:11:35,663 How come somebody as smart as you is working behind a bar? 260 00:11:35,730 --> 00:11:37,331 Actually, I'm writing a book. 261 00:11:37,399 --> 00:11:40,401 It's called "Conversations With Idiots." 262 00:11:40,468 --> 00:11:43,704 Where do you find these people? Do they just walk in? 263 00:11:43,772 --> 00:11:45,706 And how do you know if they're idiots? 264 00:11:45,774 --> 00:11:47,875 They just show up 265 00:11:47,942 --> 00:11:51,211 and start asking question after question. 266 00:11:51,279 --> 00:11:53,113 Like what? 267 00:11:53,181 --> 00:11:55,315 I'll tell you in a second. 268 00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:56,616 I'm just gonna grab my notebook. 269 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,355 [Dance music playing] 270 00:12:05,593 --> 00:12:07,928 Hey, Patrick. How's the job going? 271 00:12:07,996 --> 00:12:09,963 Oh, my God. Come here. 272 00:12:10,031 --> 00:12:11,631 Come here. 273 00:12:11,699 --> 00:12:14,868 Okay, so I know that I was hired as a stylist and not a designer, 274 00:12:14,936 --> 00:12:16,837 but check this out. 275 00:12:18,706 --> 00:12:20,607 I made this. 276 00:12:20,675 --> 00:12:22,609 I was hoping that Cee Lo might like it and wear it in his show. 277 00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:24,611 - What do you think? - I like it. 278 00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:27,646 And he definitely won't get hit by a car if he goes outside at night. 279 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,381 Hey, Charlie! 280 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,450 Well, I gotta go. Sorry, Patrick. 281 00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:33,419 Charlie, you changed my life. 282 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,787 I mean, I can never repay you... 283 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,289 unless you have a pair of jeans 284 00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:39,357 that you need hemmed and fringed in feathers. 285 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,492 I've been doing that all morning. 286 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,527 Thanks, but I don't even wear the ones I have. 287 00:12:46,064 --> 00:12:47,464 - How's it going? - Hey, Charlie. 288 00:12:47,532 --> 00:12:49,333 - How are you? - Good, good. 289 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,302 Charlie, I want to introduce you to my fantastic assistant Steve. 290 00:12:52,369 --> 00:12:53,903 - Steve, how are you? - How do you do, sir? 291 00:12:53,971 --> 00:12:55,872 - Good, good. - Now, without this guy around here, 292 00:12:55,939 --> 00:12:58,041 the whole operation would fall apart. 293 00:12:58,108 --> 00:13:00,509 Yo, Steve, would you get us some coffee, please? 294 00:13:00,577 --> 00:13:02,344 - Right away. - Thank you. 295 00:13:02,412 --> 00:13:04,747 Well, it looks like you and Steve have worked things out. 296 00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:06,449 No, you gotta fire him. 297 00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:08,884 You just said the whole thing would fall apart without him. 298 00:13:08,952 --> 00:13:11,687 What I didn't say is it would fall apart faster with him. 299 00:13:11,755 --> 00:13:14,356 All right, all right, I'm not comfortable firing him, 300 00:13:14,424 --> 00:13:17,326 but if you think you're gonna lose it when you're letting him go, 301 00:13:17,394 --> 00:13:19,695 then I'll be there to intervene until you cool off, all right? 302 00:13:19,762 --> 00:13:21,964 - All right. - Here you go. 303 00:13:22,031 --> 00:13:23,966 Oh, thank you. 304 00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:25,634 - Uh, Steve. - Yeah. 305 00:13:25,702 --> 00:13:28,337 Charlie's got something to tell you. 306 00:13:28,405 --> 00:13:29,805 My man. 307 00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:36,112 So, Steve... 308 00:13:36,179 --> 00:13:37,814 guess who doesn't have to work late tonight. 309 00:13:41,193 --> 00:13:44,462 - You're a great photographer, Nolan. - Aw, thanks. 310 00:13:44,529 --> 00:13:47,732 - I think this one's really good. - Yeah, maybe. 311 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:51,002 I mean, after we get it into Photoshop and fix your face. 312 00:13:54,006 --> 00:13:56,474 - Which part? - You know, your, uh... 313 00:13:56,542 --> 00:13:58,410 My nose. It's crooked, isn't it? 314 00:13:58,477 --> 00:14:00,578 - No, it's perfect. - It's my ears. 315 00:14:00,646 --> 00:14:03,982 - They're lopsided, right? - No, they're perfect. 316 00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:06,118 So what part are you talking about fixing? 317 00:14:06,185 --> 00:14:08,253 I don't know. I can't do this anymore. 318 00:14:08,321 --> 00:14:10,088 Do what? 319 00:14:10,156 --> 00:14:11,756 Feed your insecurities. 320 00:14:11,824 --> 00:14:14,459 Lacey, the only reason you kissed me the other day 321 00:14:14,527 --> 00:14:16,661 is because I said half your face was messed up. 322 00:14:16,729 --> 00:14:19,197 So wait. 323 00:14:19,265 --> 00:14:21,934 - You're gaming me? - Well, not the first time. 324 00:14:22,002 --> 00:14:24,036 Let me tell you something. 325 00:14:24,104 --> 00:14:26,906 You can't feed my insecurities because I don't have any. 326 00:14:26,973 --> 00:14:28,541 If I'm so insecure, 327 00:14:28,608 --> 00:14:30,242 why would I wanna be a supermodel 328 00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:32,112 and have everybody love me? 329 00:14:33,981 --> 00:14:36,016 Just get out! 330 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,752 I'm sorry, Lacey. Please, let me kiss that car wreck of a mouth. 331 00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:39,920 Out! 332 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:44,024 Okay. Give me your phone. 333 00:14:48,696 --> 00:14:51,064 We're not having any distractions tonight. 334 00:14:51,131 --> 00:14:53,065 It's just you and me. 335 00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:56,768 I'll do anything you want. 336 00:14:58,671 --> 00:15:01,707 - Name it. - Can you get Steve his job back? 337 00:15:03,743 --> 00:15:05,410 What are you talking about? 338 00:15:05,478 --> 00:15:07,812 I can't stop thinking about this guy I fired. 339 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,115 It was awful. 340 00:15:10,182 --> 00:15:11,883 You know what you don't hear a lot of? 341 00:15:11,951 --> 00:15:13,951 Wailing. 342 00:15:14,019 --> 00:15:17,088 Wailing and a guy begging for God to kill him. 343 00:15:18,524 --> 00:15:20,659 This is ridiculous. You've got to quit. 344 00:15:20,727 --> 00:15:23,628 If I quit, he'll fire Patrick and I can't do that to him. 345 00:15:23,696 --> 00:15:26,065 - He's finally happy. - Well, you know what? I'm not. 346 00:15:26,132 --> 00:15:28,033 Cee lo's ruining our sex life. I'm outta here. 347 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,234 No, no, don't go. Don't go. 348 00:15:29,302 --> 00:15:30,769 Come here. Come here. 349 00:15:32,539 --> 00:15:34,206 Let's put Cee Lo out of our minds 350 00:15:34,274 --> 00:15:36,074 and tonight it is just about you and me. 351 00:15:36,142 --> 00:15:38,310 That's better. 352 00:15:38,378 --> 00:15:40,512 And I'm gonna rip off every bit of your clothes. 353 00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:42,514 - I don't care what they cost. - [Button clatters] 354 00:15:45,518 --> 00:15:47,553 Cee Lo: Hey, Charlie! Is that you? 355 00:15:47,621 --> 00:15:50,022 I need to talk to you. 356 00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:53,192 You just bought yourself an $800 blouse. 357 00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,230 Cee Lo, I'm kinda busy at the moment. 358 00:15:57,298 --> 00:16:00,500 - Can I call you later? - Well, I brought my girlfriend 359 00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:01,768 and I really want you to meet her. 360 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,571 [sighs] I'm going home. 361 00:16:04,638 --> 00:16:06,606 I'm gonna go sit on the washing machine with a glass of wine. 362 00:16:14,315 --> 00:16:16,617 - Hey, Cee Lo. Come on in. - Hey, man. 363 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:19,820 [Sighs] Vicki, this is Charlie. 364 00:16:19,888 --> 00:16:22,156 He's an anger management therapist. 365 00:16:22,223 --> 00:16:25,259 Charlie, this is Vicki. She's been to Newark. 366 00:16:26,728 --> 00:16:28,462 But not the city, just the airport. 367 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,465 I had a connecting flight. 368 00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:33,334 You know what, don't bite back. She's telling a great story. 369 00:16:35,805 --> 00:16:38,940 Hey, Vicki, I need to talk to Charlie privately for a moment. 370 00:16:39,008 --> 00:16:40,642 You mind waiting in the kitchen for me? 371 00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:43,378 - Oh, I would love to. - Thank you. 372 00:16:47,417 --> 00:16:49,985 - What's going on? - That's the best story she's got. 373 00:16:50,053 --> 00:16:52,588 The Newark thing. 374 00:16:52,655 --> 00:16:54,757 - She seems nice. - Oh, she's great. 375 00:16:54,825 --> 00:16:56,926 You just gotta break up with her for me. 376 00:16:56,994 --> 00:16:58,995 I'm not gonna dump your girlfriend for you. 377 00:16:59,062 --> 00:17:01,697 Charlie, it's for her own benefit. She needs another story. 378 00:17:01,764 --> 00:17:04,833 Look, Cee Lo, I can't do this anymore. 379 00:17:04,901 --> 00:17:06,168 You wanna come to therapy, that's fine, 380 00:17:06,236 --> 00:17:08,671 but I'm not gonna be your hatchet man. 381 00:17:08,738 --> 00:17:10,172 Well, that's too bad, Charlie. 382 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,241 I guess I'll just have to hire Steve back 383 00:17:12,309 --> 00:17:14,577 because somebody's gonna have to fire Patrick. 384 00:17:14,644 --> 00:17:16,045 Don't fire Patrick. 385 00:17:16,113 --> 00:17:17,613 He's a great guy and very talented. 386 00:17:17,681 --> 00:17:20,016 It's your call, Charlie. 387 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,721 Vicki, can I talk to you for a minute? 388 00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:31,661 Hey, Vicki, you're probably not prepared to hear this, 389 00:17:31,729 --> 00:17:34,465 but Cee Lo has something he wants to tell you. 390 00:17:34,532 --> 00:17:37,268 - [Grunts] - My man. 391 00:17:47,012 --> 00:17:48,346 What do you want? 392 00:17:50,683 --> 00:17:52,550 - So you heard. - Yeah. 393 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:57,621 - Who told you? - Some bitch named Vicki. 394 00:18:00,658 --> 00:18:02,325 So what are you gonna do? 395 00:18:02,393 --> 00:18:04,461 Probably go back to the department store. 396 00:18:04,528 --> 00:18:06,262 At least there I can make a weekly paycheck 397 00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:08,898 to fuel the alcoholism I know is coming. 398 00:18:08,966 --> 00:18:11,834 Patrick, I know what you're going through. 399 00:18:11,902 --> 00:18:13,335 The reason I couldn't work for Cee Lo 400 00:18:13,403 --> 00:18:15,237 is because I'm the kind of guy 401 00:18:15,304 --> 00:18:17,672 that has to be in control of my own life and I think you are, too. 402 00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:20,776 Don't tell me what I am and what I'm not. 403 00:18:20,843 --> 00:18:24,012 - Maybe you're right. - If you go back to that store, 404 00:18:24,079 --> 00:18:25,713 you're gonna get stuck there. 405 00:18:25,781 --> 00:18:28,717 And you're gonna wake up one day, be married to some guy, 406 00:18:28,784 --> 00:18:30,819 have a Chinese baby, and just wanna play it safe. 407 00:18:32,288 --> 00:18:34,056 What am I supposed to do? 408 00:18:34,124 --> 00:18:36,658 Patrick, when I saw that jacket that you designed for Cee Lo, 409 00:18:36,726 --> 00:18:39,862 it was the first time since I've known you that I've seen any real passion. 410 00:18:39,929 --> 00:18:41,930 Well... 411 00:18:41,998 --> 00:18:44,666 I am pretty excellent. 412 00:18:44,734 --> 00:18:46,068 Have you thought about design school? 413 00:18:46,136 --> 00:18:48,537 Only once... 414 00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,205 a day... 415 00:18:50,273 --> 00:18:52,608 every day of my life. 416 00:18:52,676 --> 00:18:55,210 - So why don't you go? - I can't afford it, Charlie. 417 00:18:55,278 --> 00:18:58,347 I'm sure there's some things you can cut back on. 418 00:18:58,415 --> 00:19:01,517 I don't know. I live pretty close to the bone. 419 00:19:01,585 --> 00:19:04,286 What... oh, I'm sorry. I thought I heard Ed say something. 420 00:19:06,957 --> 00:19:08,825 Well, I guess if I had to, 421 00:19:08,892 --> 00:19:11,494 I could give up on dry cleaning. 422 00:19:11,562 --> 00:19:13,563 Okay, that's a start. 423 00:19:13,631 --> 00:19:15,632 And the guy who waters my flowers 424 00:19:15,699 --> 00:19:17,433 and freshens up my plants. 425 00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:20,870 I mean, I guess I could cut him back to once a week. 426 00:19:20,938 --> 00:19:23,138 Patrick, I think you can afford design school 427 00:19:23,206 --> 00:19:25,007 if you just tighten your belt. 428 00:19:25,074 --> 00:19:27,743 Especially if you have someone that does that for you, too. 429 00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:29,044 You know what, you're right. 430 00:19:29,112 --> 00:19:32,814 - Here. This is for you. - What is this? 431 00:19:32,882 --> 00:19:35,950 It's my last basket for the Fruit of the Month Club. 432 00:19:36,018 --> 00:19:37,619 I guess if I'm gonna live out my dreams, 433 00:19:37,686 --> 00:19:40,021 I'm gonna have to get used to supermarket pears. 434 00:19:42,125 --> 00:19:43,658 Stay strong. 435 00:19:46,062 --> 00:19:47,462 So how'd it go with that girl? 436 00:19:47,530 --> 00:19:49,631 Well, pointing out their flaws works, 437 00:19:49,698 --> 00:19:51,866 but I just couldn't do it. 438 00:19:51,934 --> 00:19:54,135 I had to be honest with her about my feelings. 439 00:19:54,202 --> 00:19:56,070 Oh, you're a virgin, aren't you? 440 00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:03,610 - Lacey. - I've been thinking about it. 441 00:20:03,678 --> 00:20:05,813 You could've taken advantage of me and you didn't. 442 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,716 I'm sorry. 443 00:20:08,784 --> 00:20:10,718 No, it's a good thing. 444 00:20:10,786 --> 00:20:13,721 Just don't tell me what's going on inside my head ever again. 445 00:20:13,788 --> 00:20:15,422 I don't wanna know. 446 00:20:15,490 --> 00:20:17,558 Never again. I promise. 447 00:20:19,327 --> 00:20:20,995 So you wanna go out sometime? 448 00:20:21,063 --> 00:20:24,365 Two days ago, I would've done anything you wanted, 449 00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:26,934 but you've seen me at my weakest, 450 00:20:27,002 --> 00:20:30,505 so now I'm gonna have to reestablish my dominance. 451 00:20:30,572 --> 00:20:32,406 That sounds good, too. 452 00:20:34,977 --> 00:20:38,279 Okay. You can't have this. 453 00:20:41,817 --> 00:20:43,684 Loser! 454 00:20:48,489 --> 00:20:50,257 What the hell just happened? 455 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,166 [Sighs] 456 00:20:54,179 --> 00:20:55,996 Was that just me or was that, like, unbelievable? 457 00:20:56,064 --> 00:20:57,731 I think it's because we had so much tension built up. 458 00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,166 Yeah. 459 00:20:59,234 --> 00:21:01,035 Next time, we should wait, like, three weeks. 460 00:21:01,102 --> 00:21:03,237 - It'll be even better. - How 'bout four? 461 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,138 Even better. 462 00:21:05,206 --> 00:21:07,307 - How 'bout now? - Even better. 463 00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:13,679 [Bowl clatters] 464 00:21:13,747 --> 00:21:15,781 Let's go upstairs. It'll be more comfortable. 465 00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:27,992 Sync & corrections by No1 www.addic7ed.com.