1
00:00:00,485 --> 00:00:03,042
So, Patrick, just to
recap, you like this guy,
2
00:00:03,109 --> 00:00:04,873
but his shoes were
the deal breaker?
3
00:00:04,941 --> 00:00:06,335
They were Birkenstocks.
4
00:00:06,403 --> 00:00:09,800
I think the company's motto
is "Never In Style."
5
00:00:09,864 --> 00:00:12,362
Man sandals are a petty
and shallow reason
6
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:16,134
to break up with somebody, but...
totally understandable.
7
00:00:16,201 --> 00:00:18,070
You shoulda just
gone online to find out
8
00:00:18,137 --> 00:00:20,945
what kind of shoes the guy buys
before you went out with him.
9
00:00:21,013 --> 00:00:23,385
I don't think that information
exists online, Nolan.
10
00:00:23,453 --> 00:00:29,329
Oh, I think it does, Mr. Emergency
Room Visit, spring break, 1986.
11
00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:31,831
Smashed a bottle
of beer on your head.
12
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,769
It was spring training, 1988,
13
00:00:34,838 --> 00:00:36,539
and I could've sworn I was still
wearing my batting helmet.
14
00:00:38,007 --> 00:00:40,175
What are you doing
poking around in my life?
15
00:00:40,242 --> 00:00:42,610
I was downloading Lacey's
high school transcripts
16
00:00:42,678 --> 00:00:44,799
and I had some spare time.
17
00:00:44,851 --> 00:00:48,232
By the way,
she got a D in Sex Ed.
18
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:51,341
Wow, even with
all that extra credit.
19
00:00:53,166 --> 00:00:55,888
- I know, I know, I'm late.
- You're late, huh?
20
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:58,490
Couldn't mean an egg has
taken root in your uterus.
21
00:00:58,557 --> 00:01:02,688
Of course, you'd have known that
if you hadn't slept through class.
22
00:01:02,755 --> 00:01:04,889
Not today, old man.
23
00:01:04,957 --> 00:01:06,692
- You okay, Lace?
- No.
24
00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:08,491
My car was sticking out,
like, an inch
25
00:01:08,559 --> 00:01:10,225
into your jerkwad
neighbor's driveway,
26
00:01:10,293 --> 00:01:13,194
and the old dude said if I didn't
move it, he would have me towed.
27
00:01:13,261 --> 00:01:15,229
Did you move your car?
28
00:01:15,296 --> 00:01:17,096
Yeah, into his trash can,
29
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,865
then over his trash can,
then over his other trash can.
30
00:01:18,932 --> 00:01:20,967
I don't want
to talk about it anymore.
31
00:01:21,034 --> 00:01:23,302
So you got angry,
had an angry outburst,
32
00:01:23,370 --> 00:01:27,739
and now you don't want to talk
about your anger in anger therapy?
33
00:01:27,807 --> 00:01:29,741
Cool, so you get it?
34
00:01:31,443 --> 00:01:32,742
[sighs] Come on, Lacey.
35
00:01:32,810 --> 00:01:34,043
We're going back there
to apologize.
36
00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:35,610
Why? He started it.
37
00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:37,912
That sounds like
school yard logic to me.
38
00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:39,313
- Does not.
- Does, too.
39
00:01:39,381 --> 00:01:41,115
Okay, we're going.
40
00:01:41,182 --> 00:01:42,616
You had a setback, you need
to make amends. Come on.
41
00:01:42,684 --> 00:01:46,309
No, I already made amends with
my god, and he's forgiven me.
42
00:01:46,377 --> 00:01:49,839
You're a Hindu. Which god
are you talking about?
43
00:01:49,907 --> 00:01:51,440
I don't know, there's
like 5,000 of them.
44
00:01:51,508 --> 00:01:52,775
I'm sure one of them's
cool with it.
45
00:01:55,512 --> 00:01:57,012
[tool ratcheting]
46
00:01:58,281 --> 00:02:00,449
- Mr. Hoffler?
- Yes, sir?
47
00:02:00,517 --> 00:02:02,151
Charlie Goodson,
I live two houses down.
48
00:02:02,219 --> 00:02:04,353
Oh, I remember you.
49
00:02:04,421 --> 00:02:06,748
You're the guy that likes
to throw crap into the wind
50
00:02:06,816 --> 00:02:08,048
just to see
where it will land.
51
00:02:10,351 --> 00:02:12,918
Okay, first of all, that wasn't
my candy wrapper on your lawn,
52
00:02:12,986 --> 00:02:15,187
as we discussed for
a solid hour last week.
53
00:02:16,656 --> 00:02:17,924
But that's not why I'm here.
54
00:02:17,991 --> 00:02:19,826
I don't know if this is
your girlfriend or not,
55
00:02:19,893 --> 00:02:23,195
but she's the one that
drove over my trash cans,
56
00:02:23,263 --> 00:02:26,499
which, by the way, would be a great
place to put your candy wrappers.
57
00:02:26,566 --> 00:02:30,235
Look, I'm a therapist, and Lacey is
part of an anger management group
58
00:02:30,303 --> 00:02:31,737
that meets at my house
once a week.
59
00:02:31,805 --> 00:02:33,272
Anger management?
60
00:02:33,339 --> 00:02:34,539
Isn't that where
the courts send those
61
00:02:34,607 --> 00:02:36,674
asswipe celebrities
and overpaid jocks
62
00:02:36,742 --> 00:02:38,777
so they can learn
to control their temper?
63
00:02:38,844 --> 00:02:41,646
I wish.
64
00:02:41,714 --> 00:02:43,447
Wait a second here.
65
00:02:43,515 --> 00:02:46,183
You're telling me that you're
bringing violent lunatics
66
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:50,386
into our neighborhood every day and
you're having meetings at your house?
67
00:02:50,454 --> 00:02:52,455
- They're not violent lunatics.
- Oh, yeah?
68
00:02:52,523 --> 00:02:55,658
What did you do to get
into this group, sweetie pie?
69
00:02:55,726 --> 00:02:57,760
The court sent me there.
I'm on probation.
70
00:02:57,828 --> 00:02:59,061
That's none of
his business, Lacey.
71
00:02:59,129 --> 00:03:00,763
No, I'm not hiding anything.
72
00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:02,431
His imagination is probably
worse than anything I did.
73
00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:04,966
I shot my boyfriend
in the balls.
74
00:03:05,034 --> 00:03:08,403
Oh, my Holy Mary,
mother of God.
75
00:03:08,471 --> 00:03:10,771
Sounds bad out of context.
76
00:03:10,839 --> 00:03:14,074
What context? Did his balls
pull a knife on her?
77
00:03:14,142 --> 00:03:16,743
No, they complained that
I parked in their driveway.
78
00:03:16,811 --> 00:03:18,845
Are you threatening me?
79
00:03:18,913 --> 00:03:20,980
Obviously not. You
don't have any balls.
80
00:03:21,048 --> 00:03:23,817
Okay, all right, well, that's
our apology, so we're gonna go.
81
00:03:23,885 --> 00:03:27,220
Good, at least this time you're
taking your trash with you.
82
00:03:27,288 --> 00:03:29,923
You douche nozzle!
83
00:03:29,991 --> 00:03:31,358
Douche nozzle?
84
00:03:31,426 --> 00:03:32,960
It... it's not what you think.
85
00:03:33,027 --> 00:03:35,095
It's "Du schnuzzel."
86
00:03:35,163 --> 00:03:39,334
It's German for "our noses, may
they always meet in peace."
87
00:03:39,401 --> 00:03:40,768
Du schnuzzel!
88
00:03:42,905 --> 00:03:45,073
[theme music playing]
89
00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:46,841
Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.com
90
00:03:46,842 --> 00:03:51,546
Okay... here's
what I picked up.
91
00:03:51,614 --> 00:03:56,018
Ooh... his and hers
sensual lubricant.
92
00:03:56,086 --> 00:03:59,488
This one gives you an
invigorating warming sensation
93
00:03:59,556 --> 00:04:01,891
and this one gives me a
thrilling tingling sensation,
94
00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:06,029
and when we combine them, voila, our
genitals become the Wonder Twins.
95
00:04:08,032 --> 00:04:09,600
- What'd you get?
- Was I supposed to get something?
96
00:04:09,668 --> 00:04:11,936
Duh, that was the plan.
97
00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:13,637
I'm just joking with ya,
of course I got you something.
98
00:04:13,705 --> 00:04:14,705
I got you a, um...
99
00:04:18,376 --> 00:04:21,445
sex whisk.
100
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,480
[laughs]
101
00:04:23,548 --> 00:04:25,182
No, I'm just playing with ya.
102
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:30,386
What I got you is...
sticky sex notes.
103
00:04:32,155 --> 00:04:36,125
So I can remember all the
things I want to do to you.
104
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,375
"Patent the sex whisk."
105
00:04:48,651 --> 00:04:50,852
It wasn't a pretty dress.
106
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,188
It looked like something
you'd bury Snow White in.
107
00:04:53,255 --> 00:04:56,424
The only reason you didn't like
it is because I picked it out.
108
00:04:56,492 --> 00:04:58,127
What's going on?
109
00:04:58,194 --> 00:05:01,298
I spent two weeks trying
to help this little...
110
00:05:01,365 --> 00:05:04,869
daughter of ours buy
a dress for Junior Prom.
111
00:05:04,936 --> 00:05:08,506
Carter McGarry asked me to
go and he's really cute.
112
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:11,610
Do you see anything wrong
with a dress like this?
113
00:05:11,677 --> 00:05:12,911
No, no, it's great
if you want to wear
114
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,881
a pile of napkins
covered in glitter barf.
115
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,349
That's what I said.
116
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:18,417
I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
117
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,119
The prom is Saturday night.
118
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,121
Well, what about this one
with the sweetheart neckline?
119
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:24,089
Of course, you'd have to lose
a couple of the bows
120
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:27,159
and the pouty-looking
gay dude in the background...
121
00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:29,728
I'd love something like that.
122
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,596
Can you come shopping
with us right now?
123
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,132
Why are we dragging
Kate into this?
124
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,368
She hasn't done
anything to us.
125
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:37,170
No, it's fine.
126
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,072
If Sam wants an extra set of
eyes, I'd be happy to help.
127
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,974
Are you sure?
I gotta warn you.
128
00:05:41,042 --> 00:05:42,442
This isn't just shopping
with a teenage girl,
129
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,747
this is shopping
with the devil.
130
00:05:44,815 --> 00:05:46,652
Yeah, Charlie,
I know what it's like.
131
00:05:46,719 --> 00:05:48,556
I used to be a teenage girl.
132
00:05:48,624 --> 00:05:50,558
Are you sure?
I can't picture that.
133
00:05:50,626 --> 00:05:52,226
I thought you came out of the
robot factory just like that.
134
00:05:54,028 --> 00:05:55,662
So you'll come?
135
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,999
Yeah, I know prom's
a special time.
136
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:01,736
I don't want to intrude on any
cherished mother-daughter moment.
137
00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:05,306
Doesn't matter.
I'm dead inside.
138
00:06:05,374 --> 00:06:06,476
You're driving.
139
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,288
I know you're a curious
little monkey boy,
140
00:06:16,356 --> 00:06:17,723
but don't get any of that
stuff near your eyes.
141
00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:19,024
It burns like pepper spray.
142
00:06:19,092 --> 00:06:20,992
And I'm supposed to put this
on my genitals?
143
00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:21,893
Yes.
144
00:06:25,764 --> 00:06:27,164
[door closes]
145
00:06:42,446 --> 00:06:43,346
Hey.
146
00:06:46,384 --> 00:06:47,751
Don't you knock?
147
00:06:53,558 --> 00:06:55,025
Have you... nice lube.
148
00:06:56,528 --> 00:06:57,895
Have you seen this?
149
00:06:57,962 --> 00:07:00,164
Hoffler's saying
the people in your group
150
00:07:00,231 --> 00:07:01,765
are a threat
to the neighborhood.
151
00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:03,567
Doesn't want them meeting
in your house.
152
00:07:03,635 --> 00:07:05,302
Man, this guy's really
got it out for me.
153
00:07:05,369 --> 00:07:08,338
You know, you could always
spray this stuff in his eyes.
154
00:07:08,405 --> 00:07:11,474
Trust me,
it's like pepper spray.
155
00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:19,069
"Mr. Goodson's house has become
a de facto mental institution"
156
00:07:19,137 --> 00:07:22,672
for antisocial, unstable, "and
potentially dangerous individuals."
157
00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:25,375
What a douche nozzle.
158
00:07:25,442 --> 00:07:26,609
Douche nozzle.
159
00:07:26,677 --> 00:07:28,577
Is that worse
than a douche bag?
160
00:07:28,645 --> 00:07:31,214
I don't know,
it's not important.
161
00:07:31,281 --> 00:07:32,481
You know what?
162
00:07:32,549 --> 00:07:34,083
Maybe the nozzle
is worse than the bag.
163
00:07:34,151 --> 00:07:36,418
Would you stop?
164
00:07:36,486 --> 00:07:37,786
You live right between
me and Hoffler.
165
00:07:37,854 --> 00:07:39,054
I need you to go
over there and tell him
166
00:07:39,122 --> 00:07:40,789
that my patients
don't cause any trouble.
167
00:07:40,857 --> 00:07:42,491
- I'd love to.
- Thank you.
168
00:07:42,559 --> 00:07:45,795
If I didn't have plans to build a
Jacuzzi that crosses onto his property.
169
00:07:45,863 --> 00:07:48,498
Are you serious?
This is about a Jacuzzi?
170
00:07:48,566 --> 00:07:51,868
Come on. Who was there for you when
you got stuck in your doggy door?
171
00:07:51,936 --> 00:07:53,637
Okay, I get it.
172
00:07:53,704 --> 00:07:55,372
But I need a Jacuzzi.
173
00:07:55,439 --> 00:07:57,373
I don't get a lot
of girls, Charlie.
174
00:07:57,441 --> 00:07:59,642
My only game
is close-up magic.
175
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:01,310
Close-up magic does not work.
176
00:08:02,879 --> 00:08:04,280
Yep, you do need a Jacuzzi.
177
00:08:07,951 --> 00:08:09,518
Here, try this one on.
178
00:08:09,586 --> 00:08:11,120
[gasps] Oh, that looks good.
179
00:08:12,789 --> 00:08:15,224
Of course she likes it.
You picked it.
180
00:08:15,291 --> 00:08:17,726
Maybe she likes it
'cause it's a nice dress.
181
00:08:17,794 --> 00:08:20,596
Oh, please. I know what a
nice dress looks like.
182
00:08:20,664 --> 00:08:22,698
I went to five proms in a row.
183
00:08:22,766 --> 00:08:25,734
That's right, graduation
didn't stop me.
184
00:08:25,802 --> 00:08:29,938
I think you're placing a little too
much value on this prom thing.
185
00:08:30,006 --> 00:08:34,711
It's just a misogynistic parade of
conformity that rewards blondeness.
186
00:08:34,778 --> 00:08:38,014
Damn straight. Best
five nights of my life.
187
00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:41,618
Let me guess, you were one
of those dark goth girls
188
00:08:41,685 --> 00:08:43,086
who was too cool
to go to prom?
189
00:08:43,153 --> 00:08:48,591
No, I was going to, but I was smoking
pot with Morrissey at the Roxie.
190
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,092
Lost track of time.
191
00:08:52,563 --> 00:08:54,731
- Let's go.
- What about the dress?
192
00:08:54,799 --> 00:08:56,233
Ruby texted me.
193
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:59,236
She saw Carter at Cold Stone
making out with Eva Pizzoli.
194
00:08:59,304 --> 00:09:01,638
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
195
00:09:01,706 --> 00:09:04,008
I know it's lame,
but I really wanted to go.
196
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:07,111
It's not lame. You should go...
in a revenge dress.
197
00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:08,780
[gasps] Oh, my gosh.
198
00:09:08,847 --> 00:09:11,850
- Yes, a revenge dress.
- Mm-hmm.
199
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:15,854
And then when you walk into the
gym, it's like record scratch.
200
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:17,756
- Slow mo.
- Everyone turns.
201
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,157
Carter's head explodes.
202
00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,393
And then you go to the Roxie.
203
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:23,794
No, you don't.
204
00:09:25,897 --> 00:09:27,598
I don't want you guys
to be alarmed,
205
00:09:27,665 --> 00:09:29,633
but these are the flyers that
my neighbor's been circulating.
206
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:31,702
Oh, my God.
207
00:09:31,769 --> 00:09:34,638
There's unstable and potentially
dangerous people in the neighborhood?
208
00:09:34,706 --> 00:09:36,774
We should get out of here.
209
00:09:36,841 --> 00:09:40,510
Those people are us,
you unstable dumbass.
210
00:09:40,578 --> 00:09:41,945
Wait a minute. Hoffler?
211
00:09:42,013 --> 00:09:44,514
That stick-in-the-mud
down the street?
212
00:09:44,582 --> 00:09:49,219
Every day when I pass his house, I
throw my candy wrappers on his lawn.
213
00:09:49,287 --> 00:09:50,854
[laughs]
214
00:09:50,922 --> 00:09:53,323
Drives him crazy.
215
00:09:53,390 --> 00:09:54,924
Yeah, I heard.
216
00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:58,094
The way I see it,
we have two options.
217
00:09:58,162 --> 00:09:59,629
I can either relocate
to an office...
218
00:09:59,697 --> 00:10:01,164
- Close to my house.
- I don't know, Ed...
219
00:10:01,232 --> 00:10:03,099
- I'm not paying for parking.
- That's not the point, Patrick.
220
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:04,868
Will there be a Starbucks?
'Cause I hate your coffee.
221
00:10:04,935 --> 00:10:07,203
Or we could stand together,
222
00:10:07,271 --> 00:10:09,273
let these people know that we
are no different than they are
223
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:11,208
and we have every right
to meet in this neighborhood.
224
00:10:11,276 --> 00:10:13,244
- We?
- Hey, I have anger issues.
225
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:15,246
I've lived with the stigma.
I'm just like you.
226
00:10:15,313 --> 00:10:21,227
Except I am allowed to fly on
Southwest, Jet Blue, and Air Israel.
227
00:10:22,754 --> 00:10:24,688
- So what do you guys think?
- Let's give him hell.
228
00:10:24,756 --> 00:10:25,923
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Charlie: Good, good.
229
00:10:25,991 --> 00:10:27,124
Patrick: Wait, wait, wait.
230
00:10:27,192 --> 00:10:29,460
Why are you banned
from Air Israel?
231
00:10:29,528 --> 00:10:31,362
It was an honest mistake.
232
00:10:31,429 --> 00:10:34,298
I'd just assumed
they were called Jewardesses.
233
00:10:37,369 --> 00:10:38,936
Here we go. Thanks for coming.
234
00:10:39,004 --> 00:10:40,337
Enjoy the brunch.
235
00:10:40,405 --> 00:10:41,605
In a few minutes,
I'll do a Q&A
236
00:10:41,673 --> 00:10:43,574
to put everybody's mind
at ease about my group.
237
00:10:45,844 --> 00:10:47,377
Sorry I'm late.
What's the plan?
238
00:10:47,445 --> 00:10:49,713
Just get in there and mingle.
239
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,347
Be very sweet.
240
00:10:51,415 --> 00:10:53,049
Then when I reveal that
you guys are my patients,
241
00:10:53,117 --> 00:10:54,250
everyone will realize
you're not a threat.
242
00:10:54,317 --> 00:10:56,251
Got it. Okay, does
this outfit make me look
243
00:10:56,319 --> 00:10:58,754
antisocial, unstable,
or potentially dangerous?
244
00:10:58,822 --> 00:11:00,589
No, I think it
hides it very well.
245
00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:08,998
Hi, I'm Lacey.
246
00:11:09,065 --> 00:11:10,799
I'm new to the neighborhood.
247
00:11:10,867 --> 00:11:14,470
Hi, I'm Chad and this
is my wife Shelly.
248
00:11:14,538 --> 00:11:16,539
- Hi.
- How do you do?
249
00:11:19,443 --> 00:11:20,677
Did you just curtsy?
250
00:11:20,745 --> 00:11:23,013
A little.
251
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:31,421
Well, Mary Anne and DeLondroy, you're
preaching to the choir on that one.
252
00:11:31,489 --> 00:11:33,824
I mean, I believe
we should spend more
253
00:11:33,891 --> 00:11:37,327
of our taxpayers' money
to support the arts.
254
00:11:37,395 --> 00:11:39,930
Now, if that little
rainbow baby of yours
255
00:11:39,998 --> 00:11:43,901
grows up and wants to be a rapper
or a full-time sidewalk artist,
256
00:11:43,968 --> 00:11:50,174
I would be thrilled to work harder
and take home much, much less.
257
00:11:52,177 --> 00:11:55,180
No, no, no, no. That does not
look too tight on you at all.
258
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,115
I mean, if you got it,
flaunt it,
259
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,752
and you, sweetheart, have
a... you have a lot of it.
260
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,892
I'm not worried about
the anger management groups.
261
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,694
What concerns me
is the proliferation
262
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,863
of the medical
marijuana dispensaries.
263
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:14,433
Talk about a suspicious-looking
group of people.
264
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:15,734
And the lines.
265
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:19,738
Hey, everybody.
266
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,674
I want to thank you all
for coming.
267
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:24,210
I'm Charlie Goodson and I've
got a little surprise for you.
268
00:12:24,278 --> 00:12:28,615
Some of the people you've been
mingling with are not your neighbors.
269
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:31,551
They're actually members
of my anger management group.
270
00:12:31,619 --> 00:12:34,454
Now, contrary to the lies
circulated by Mr. Hoffler,
271
00:12:34,522 --> 00:12:36,690
only one of them has any
history of a violent crime.
272
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:40,694
Fooled you.
273
00:12:40,762 --> 00:12:42,529
Guys, come on up here.
Come on.
274
00:12:46,401 --> 00:12:48,235
Now, these are good
and decent people.
275
00:12:48,303 --> 00:12:50,337
You've enjoyed their company
all morning,
276
00:12:50,405 --> 00:12:52,906
so please think about that when
you're asked to sign the petition.
277
00:12:54,509 --> 00:12:56,109
Hello, Chucky.
278
00:12:56,177 --> 00:12:58,044
I knew I'd find you here.
279
00:12:58,112 --> 00:13:00,446
In my house? You're a genius.
280
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,850
- What do you want?
- Justice.
281
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:09,187
One of your sickos spray-painted
"douche nozzle" on my garage door.
282
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:11,857
[crowd murmuring]
283
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,791
And I'm pretty sure
I know who did it.
284
00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:18,029
Are you blaming me,
douche nozzle?
285
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,765
I rest my case.
286
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,572
Everybody, enjoy yourselves.
287
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,575
There's plenty
of champagne and tuna.
288
00:13:33,839 --> 00:13:35,907
Okay, I just have
one thing to say.
289
00:13:35,975 --> 00:13:38,043
I did not write
"douche nozzle"
290
00:13:38,111 --> 00:13:39,444
on that douche nozzle's house,
291
00:13:39,512 --> 00:13:41,947
even though all you
douche nozzles think I did.
292
00:13:42,014 --> 00:13:43,949
Nobody's making
any judgments here.
293
00:13:44,017 --> 00:13:45,417
I am.
294
00:13:45,485 --> 00:13:52,025
Because of her, I wasted an hour
spewing hippie garbage at Ore and O.
295
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,359
This is crazy.
296
00:13:53,427 --> 00:13:55,429
I swear to God I didn't do it.
297
00:13:55,496 --> 00:13:57,097
Why don't you guys believe me?
298
00:13:57,165 --> 00:13:58,465
I believe you, Lacey.
299
00:14:00,435 --> 00:14:02,002
Why don't you guys believe me?
300
00:14:03,506 --> 00:14:05,306
Look, everybody,
I'll figure this out.
301
00:14:05,374 --> 00:14:06,708
It's all gonna be fine.
302
00:14:06,775 --> 00:14:11,011
I'll see everybody Tuesday...
somewhere.
303
00:14:11,079 --> 00:14:12,847
Lacey, can I see you
for a second?
304
00:14:16,151 --> 00:14:17,218
If you're trying
to make me feel better
305
00:14:17,286 --> 00:14:19,987
about those guys turning on me,
it's sweet, but forget it.
306
00:14:20,055 --> 00:14:21,722
Do you have any Kahlua?
307
00:14:21,790 --> 00:14:25,259
Lacey, Kahlua isn't gonna
help with your frustration.
308
00:14:25,327 --> 00:14:26,260
Oh, my God, you're right.
309
00:14:26,328 --> 00:14:27,661
I should have tequila.
310
00:14:29,163 --> 00:14:31,899
Lacey, you know
I'm on your side, right?
311
00:14:31,966 --> 00:14:33,367
At least somebody is.
312
00:14:33,435 --> 00:14:34,902
Ooh, rum. That's like
pirate tequila.
313
00:14:37,705 --> 00:14:39,840
And we're all working to
keep the group in this house
314
00:14:39,907 --> 00:14:41,374
and maintain our dignity.
315
00:14:41,442 --> 00:14:43,543
It's below the label,
so I'm just gonna chug it.
316
00:14:43,611 --> 00:14:44,945
Lacey, come on, come on.
317
00:14:45,012 --> 00:14:46,846
[bottle clunks]
318
00:14:46,914 --> 00:14:48,548
You got here late.
319
00:14:48,616 --> 00:14:50,283
You called Hoffler
a douche nozzle.
320
00:14:50,351 --> 00:14:52,418
Wait, you don't believe me?
321
00:14:52,486 --> 00:14:54,053
- Lacey...
- You don't, do you?
322
00:14:54,121 --> 00:14:55,955
Oh, my God.
323
00:14:56,023 --> 00:14:58,124
As your therapist, I cannot
help you with your anger issues
324
00:14:58,192 --> 00:14:59,759
unless you're honest with me.
325
00:14:59,826 --> 00:15:02,295
You know what? I may have
to go to your group
326
00:15:02,362 --> 00:15:04,530
'cause the court says so,
but that's all I'm gonna do.
327
00:15:04,598 --> 00:15:07,100
I'm gonna sit there
and stare blankly.
328
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,035
Oh, come on. I don't really
believe you'd do that.
329
00:15:09,103 --> 00:15:12,105
See? You don't believe
anything I say.
330
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,907
I just want you
to be honest with yourself.
331
00:15:13,974 --> 00:15:15,008
- You want me to be honest?
- Yes.
332
00:15:15,075 --> 00:15:16,075
You suck.
333
00:15:18,045 --> 00:15:20,079
Okay, that I believe.
334
00:15:20,147 --> 00:15:21,681
[door slams]
335
00:15:23,316 --> 00:15:25,184
Well, it's been three hours.
336
00:15:25,251 --> 00:15:27,620
You think Sam's
revenge dress worked?
337
00:15:27,688 --> 00:15:29,221
Are you kidding me?
She looked so hot,
338
00:15:29,289 --> 00:15:31,658
we might've screwed up
this boy's life for good.
339
00:15:31,725 --> 00:15:35,028
Both: Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.
340
00:15:35,096 --> 00:15:37,263
You know, it really
meant a lot to me
341
00:15:37,331 --> 00:15:40,567
that you helped slut up
my daughter for the prom.
342
00:15:40,634 --> 00:15:42,903
I have to be honest.
343
00:15:42,970 --> 00:15:44,638
Shopping for dresses
with you guys
344
00:15:44,706 --> 00:15:48,042
kinda made me feel like I
missed out on going to my prom.
345
00:15:49,744 --> 00:15:54,548
Well, since we're being
honest, you didn't miss much.
346
00:15:54,616 --> 00:15:57,351
Just lots of slow dancing
to Journey,
347
00:15:57,418 --> 00:16:01,922
some sweaty boy trying to press
his junk up against your leg.
348
00:16:01,990 --> 00:16:03,223
That sounds horrible.
349
00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:05,725
So we agree prom night blows.
350
00:16:05,793 --> 00:16:06,660
It's the worst.
351
00:16:09,964 --> 00:16:11,097
[gasps]
352
00:16:11,165 --> 00:16:12,732
Oh, my God.
353
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,201
That was the best night
of my entire life.
354
00:16:15,269 --> 00:16:17,770
Carter was staring at me
the whole time.
355
00:16:17,838 --> 00:16:19,672
Thank you guys so much.
356
00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:21,908
Oh, that's
so wonderful, honey.
357
00:16:21,975 --> 00:16:23,610
- Good for you.
- Thank you.
358
00:16:28,015 --> 00:16:29,615
I think she's miserable.
359
00:16:31,018 --> 00:16:33,619
Yeah, she just doesn't
know it yet.
360
00:16:33,687 --> 00:16:34,887
Drinks at the Roxie?
361
00:16:34,955 --> 00:16:36,622
Yes, I'll call a cab.
362
00:16:36,690 --> 00:16:41,327
Full disclosure... it wasn't Morrissey,
it was the other dude from Wham.
363
00:16:44,698 --> 00:16:45,698
Hey, Charlie.
364
00:16:48,069 --> 00:16:50,703
I, uh, heard about what
happened at the brunch.
365
00:16:50,771 --> 00:16:52,305
Yeah, it was bad.
366
00:16:52,373 --> 00:16:53,573
I've been calling my
neighbors all night,
367
00:16:53,641 --> 00:16:54,741
trying to get them
to change their minds.
368
00:16:54,809 --> 00:16:57,277
What was Lacey thinking?
369
00:16:57,345 --> 00:16:59,379
Maybe she wasn't thinking.
370
00:16:59,447 --> 00:17:03,550
Maybe she was a little drunk
and finally had enough
371
00:17:03,618 --> 00:17:05,418
of that fascist
son of a bitch Hoffler
372
00:17:05,486 --> 00:17:08,955
when he told her that she can't
have her oversized hot tub.
373
00:17:09,023 --> 00:17:11,458
You wrote "douche nozzle"?
374
00:17:11,526 --> 00:17:12,926
Lacey's being blamed for it.
375
00:17:12,993 --> 00:17:14,160
I... I know, I know.
376
00:17:14,228 --> 00:17:15,829
I'm sorry.
377
00:17:15,897 --> 00:17:17,497
Look, I'll just go tell
Hoffler that I did it.
378
00:17:17,565 --> 00:17:19,666
No, it won't help.
He knows you're my friend
379
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:20,934
and he'll think you're
covering for the group.
380
00:17:21,002 --> 00:17:22,435
I can't believe you did this.
381
00:17:22,503 --> 00:17:24,504
I'm sorry.
382
00:17:24,571 --> 00:17:26,506
I just snapped.
383
00:17:26,573 --> 00:17:28,908
I can't go back
to the magic, Charlie.
384
00:17:28,976 --> 00:17:31,111
You ruined a relationship
with one of my patients.
385
00:17:31,178 --> 00:17:33,279
And you know what?
386
00:17:33,347 --> 00:17:35,281
Your magic sucks.
387
00:17:35,349 --> 00:17:36,816
It's always the ace of spades,
388
00:17:36,884 --> 00:17:39,185
I can see the coin in your hand,
and you use a fake thumb.
389
00:17:39,253 --> 00:17:40,553
Oh, my God.
390
00:17:40,621 --> 00:17:41,921
How do you know that?
391
00:17:41,988 --> 00:17:44,691
Because you're black
and the thumb isn't.
392
00:17:44,758 --> 00:17:48,093
You cannot take a white thumb and
color it with a magic marker.
393
00:17:48,161 --> 00:17:49,661
And by the way, that marker?
394
00:17:49,895 --> 00:17:52,099
The closest you'll ever get to magic.
395
00:18:01,670 --> 00:18:02,936
What do you want?
396
00:18:03,004 --> 00:18:04,238
I'm getting ready to go out.
397
00:18:04,305 --> 00:18:06,139
I found out you didn't do it.
398
00:18:06,207 --> 00:18:07,741
Oh, you know
who'd be interested?
399
00:18:07,808 --> 00:18:09,042
- The door.
- No, no, no.
400
00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:10,510
Lace, Lace, Lace, Lace.
401
00:18:10,578 --> 00:18:12,712
I'm sorry. I should've never
assumed you were guilty.
402
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:14,981
I want you to know
that not once
403
00:18:15,049 --> 00:18:17,384
since I've been in your group
have I ever lied to you.
404
00:18:17,451 --> 00:18:19,520
I tell you embarrassing
things about myself,
405
00:18:19,587 --> 00:18:22,590
like I didn't wear underwear
to my assault hearing,
406
00:18:22,658 --> 00:18:25,393
hoping the judge
would drop the charges.
407
00:18:25,461 --> 00:18:27,862
I already knew that 'cause
the judge wrote in your file,
408
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:31,199
"The defendant shows no remorse, but
did show a lot of other stuff."
409
00:18:32,869 --> 00:18:34,135
I don't think we have
anything else to talk about.
410
00:18:34,203 --> 00:18:35,737
Yes, we do.
411
00:18:35,805 --> 00:18:37,806
I believe that you never
lied to me in therapy.
412
00:18:37,874 --> 00:18:39,808
And even though
you got some issues,
413
00:18:39,876 --> 00:18:42,077
I think you've made a lot of
progress in the last 11 months.
414
00:18:42,145 --> 00:18:44,413
So, here.
415
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:45,647
What is this?
416
00:18:45,715 --> 00:18:49,317
I spoke to your probation officer and
got you out of anger therapy early.
417
00:18:49,385 --> 00:18:51,653
You're kidding me.
So, I'm done?
418
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,022
Signed it this morning.
It's all legal.
419
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,825
Wow.
420
00:18:56,892 --> 00:18:58,093
Guess this is good-bye.
421
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,562
I guess so.
422
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:03,365
You know, when I think about
that angry young woman
423
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,833
that walked through my door...
424
00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:09,772
Yep, that's the one.
425
00:19:12,143 --> 00:19:14,278
So when are we gonna move
to these offices
426
00:19:14,345 --> 00:19:17,581
that you swear to God
will be close to my house?
427
00:19:17,649 --> 00:19:19,150
Still looking, Ed.
428
00:19:19,218 --> 00:19:20,518
Well, you can stop looking.
429
00:19:20,586 --> 00:19:22,453
Once again my lack
of social skills
430
00:19:22,521 --> 00:19:25,123
and excessive amount of time
on the Internet has paid off.
431
00:19:25,191 --> 00:19:28,627
I dug up some really
sketchy dirt on Hoffler.
432
00:19:28,694 --> 00:19:31,196
No, no, no, we're not
gonna use personal attacks
433
00:19:31,263 --> 00:19:33,231
to blackmail this guy
into letting us stay here.
434
00:19:33,299 --> 00:19:34,166
We're gonna take
the high road.
435
00:19:34,234 --> 00:19:35,934
You're probably right.
436
00:19:36,002 --> 00:19:39,639
Besides, who's gonna care that he
built a sex dungeon in his basement?
437
00:19:39,706 --> 00:19:44,111
On the other hand, the low
road is a lot less congested.
438
00:19:44,178 --> 00:19:46,580
All right, we've got
that taken care of.
439
00:19:46,647 --> 00:19:47,580
We can begin the meeting.
440
00:19:47,648 --> 00:19:50,183
Where the hell's Gunga Dim?
441
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:52,385
Lacey will no longer
be joining us.
442
00:19:52,452 --> 00:19:54,286
[squeaks]
443
00:19:54,354 --> 00:19:57,956
So you kicked her out
of the group?
444
00:19:58,024 --> 00:20:00,459
Actually, it turns out
she didn't do it.
445
00:20:00,526 --> 00:20:03,361
We had a long talk
and I signed her release
446
00:20:03,429 --> 00:20:04,896
so she could finish therapy
a month early.
447
00:20:04,964 --> 00:20:07,398
If you're writing letters,
write one for me.
448
00:20:07,466 --> 00:20:10,067
Tell my wife I'm dead
so I can start a new life
449
00:20:10,135 --> 00:20:13,671
in Corpus Christi and
fulfill my lifetime dream.
450
00:20:13,738 --> 00:20:15,273
What dream is that?
451
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,410
To leave my wife and move
to Corpus Christi.
452
00:20:19,879 --> 00:20:21,279
I can't believe this.
453
00:20:21,347 --> 00:20:24,516
So she's just out there all alone
feeling like we betrayed her?
454
00:20:24,584 --> 00:20:25,818
Well, I'm not just
gonna sit here.
455
00:20:25,886 --> 00:20:28,788
I don't care if I have to
search the ends of the Earth.
456
00:20:28,856 --> 00:20:30,657
I'm gonna find... I found her.
457
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,261
Don't touch me, tool.
458
00:20:36,364 --> 00:20:38,899
Well, we may have falsely accused
her, but we didn't break her spirit.
459
00:20:40,635 --> 00:20:42,870
I gotta say, Lace,
I'm surprised to see you here.
460
00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:45,339
So am I, but I woke up
this morning
461
00:20:45,407 --> 00:20:49,377
and I realized that when you called
me a liar, I didn't lash out at you
462
00:20:49,444 --> 00:20:51,645
or do anything violent
like I usually do,
463
00:20:51,713 --> 00:20:54,548
so I figured
I must be improving.
464
00:20:54,616 --> 00:20:56,216
And that's why you came back?
465
00:20:56,284 --> 00:20:57,384
Yeah.
466
00:20:57,452 --> 00:21:00,954
That and last night, someone
else called me a liar,
467
00:21:01,022 --> 00:21:05,526
and I knocked that skank out with
my absolutely real Chanel bag.
468
00:21:08,696 --> 00:21:11,598
Well, they say that relapse
is a part of recovery.
469
00:21:11,666 --> 00:21:14,364
So let's hope that skank
has a speedy recovery.
470
00:21:14,389 --> 00:21:26,937
Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.com