1
00:00:01,109 --> 00:00:03,077
Why don't you come in and sit down?

2
00:00:03,145 --> 00:00:04,986
- Okay.
- The principal will be right with you.

3
00:00:05,013 --> 00:00:06,481
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

4
00:00:06,549 --> 00:00:09,484
Boy, being called
into the principal's office

5
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:12,520
- really takes me back.
- Just remember, it's not yours.

6
00:00:12,588 --> 00:00:14,989
You were just holding it for a friend.

7
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:17,192
So why do you think
the principal called you in here?

8
00:00:17,259 --> 00:00:18,459
What do you think Sam did?

9
00:00:18,527 --> 00:00:21,028
Probably nothing.

10
00:00:21,096 --> 00:00:22,397
She's such an innocent kid.

11
00:00:22,464 --> 00:00:23,831
Sometimes I wonder 
if she's even ours.

12
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,201
She came outta me, Charlie.

13
00:00:26,268 --> 00:00:28,369
Maybe you were just
holding her for a friend.

14
00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:30,805
What if she's just super sneaky

15
00:00:30,872 --> 00:00:32,807
and has everybody fooled?

16
00:00:32,874 --> 00:00:34,642
What if she's in a gang and she's, like,

17
00:00:34,710 --> 00:00:36,644
the biggest drug dealer in the school?

18
00:00:36,712 --> 00:00:38,913
You looked kinda proud
when you said that.

19
00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:41,816
Well, I just worry about her.
She's so normal.

20
00:00:41,883 --> 00:00:44,352
- She has OCD.
- You're right.

21
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:46,887
If she were selling drugs,
she'd be super organized.

22
00:00:46,955 --> 00:00:48,723
I mean, they'd be no seeds in that weed.

23
00:00:50,492 --> 00:00:53,328
Mr. Goodson,
Miss Goodson, no, please, sit.

24
00:00:55,364 --> 00:00:56,931
All right, tell us straight.

25
00:00:56,998 --> 00:00:58,299
What did Sam do?

26
00:00:58,367 --> 00:01:01,869
And don't leave anything out,
this is our first time.

27
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,971
No, the kids with OCD

28
00:01:04,039 --> 00:01:07,041
don't cause a lot
of our traditional problems.

29
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:08,443
By the way, did you know

30
00:01:08,510 --> 00:01:10,177
that she has her own meat thermometer?

31
00:01:12,514 --> 00:01:14,915
Cafeteria staff would really
appreciate it if you took it away.

32
00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:16,183
It's slowing down the lunches.

33
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:21,422
Well, it was all she wanted
for Christmas, but sure.

34
00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:24,692
I'm sorry, Miss Goodson, but I really
only needed to talk to Charlie.

35
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,761
We need your help.

36
00:01:26,828 --> 00:01:28,796
Our baseball coach Mr. Henderson,

37
00:01:28,864 --> 00:01:31,098
he just left us to be on a reality show.

38
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,667
Ooh, which one?

39
00:01:32,735 --> 00:01:36,771
I believe it's called "Hook-up Island."

40
00:01:36,838 --> 00:01:39,340
Oh, I love that show.
How do you get on that?

41
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,843
I don't know.
I'm sure there's a website.

42
00:01:45,046 --> 00:01:48,349
Look, Charlie,
with your background as a pro ballplayer,

43
00:01:48,417 --> 00:01:50,785
I know the kids would absolutely love it

44
00:01:50,852 --> 00:01:53,154
if you would manage
their last three games.

45
00:01:53,221 --> 00:01:55,423
- Are you interested?
- Wow.

46
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,558
I gotta be honest,
first time I've ever been called

47
00:01:57,626 --> 00:02:00,528
to the principal's office
and gotten good news.

48
00:02:00,596 --> 00:02:02,029
Although, there was
that one time, you know,

49
00:02:02,097 --> 00:02:04,299
"You're not the father." Whew.

50
00:02:04,366 --> 00:02:08,235
But, yeah, I'd love to coach the team.

51
00:02:08,304 --> 00:02:10,738
Uh, excuse me.
Can I have a word with Charlie?

52
00:02:10,806 --> 00:02:12,106
We're divorced and there's some

53
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,241
scheduling stuff
we should work out first.

54
00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:17,111
- We'll be right out.
- Sure, I'll be right down the hall.

55
00:02:23,719 --> 00:02:26,321
Okay, Charlie,
I'm not sure this is the best idea.

56
00:02:26,388 --> 00:02:28,856
In case you forgot,
you're too competitive,

57
00:02:28,924 --> 00:02:30,792
losing makes you angry.

58
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,160
Part of the reason I used to be so
angry is because my first coach

59
00:02:33,228 --> 00:02:34,962
was the meanest,
most competitive son of a bitch

60
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,964
to ever walk the face of the planet.

61
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,534
- Wait, who was your first coach?
- Nah, you wouldn't know him.

62
00:02:39,601 --> 00:02:41,369
Oh, wait, you did meet him. My dad.

63
00:02:41,437 --> 00:02:43,338
All right, Charlie.

64
00:02:43,405 --> 00:02:45,840
But watch yourself.

65
00:02:45,907 --> 00:02:47,608
Oh, before we go,

66
00:02:47,676 --> 00:02:50,311
there's something
I've always wanted to do.

67
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,847
Bueller, Bueller,

68
00:02:52,914 --> 00:02:54,615
Bueller.

69
00:02:54,683 --> 00:02:56,016
Quick, let's go.

70
00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:00,011
Anger Management 2x17 -
Charlie Lets Kate Take Charge
Original air date May 9, 2013

71
00:03:00,036 --> 00:03:02,236
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com

72
00:03:02,324 --> 00:03:05,059
Listen, Jen, I'm gonna be pretty busy with
this stuff for the next couple of weeks,

73
00:03:05,126 --> 00:03:07,094
so I need you to take Sam for me.

74
00:03:07,162 --> 00:03:10,130
Hey, I'm 15. I don't need
anybody watching me.

75
00:03:10,198 --> 00:03:12,099
That's true.

76
00:03:12,167 --> 00:03:14,535
She was so well-behaved, we could have
left her alone when she was five.

77
00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:17,338
In fact, a couple of times we did.

78
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:20,541
All you did was organize your
toys and try to make our beds.

79
00:03:20,609 --> 00:03:23,244
The house
was actually cleaner when we got back.

80
00:03:23,311 --> 00:03:25,980
Hey, hey, hey, Charlie, congratulations.

81
00:03:26,047 --> 00:03:27,815
I just heard about the coaching job.

82
00:03:27,883 --> 00:03:30,451
This is the most exciting
thing to happen to the Goodson family

83
00:03:30,519 --> 00:03:32,052
since Jennifer gave birth

84
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,321
and little Sammy slide into home.

85
00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:37,992
Ew, I just opened a strawberry yogurt.

86
00:03:38,059 --> 00:03:39,827
Here, son.

87
00:03:39,895 --> 00:03:42,263
I want you to have
my old coaching whistle for good luck.

88
00:03:42,330 --> 00:03:45,433
Thanks, but I'm actually
gonna use the player's names

89
00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:47,468
instead of sneaking up behind
them and blowing this thing

90
00:03:47,536 --> 00:03:49,937
and screaming, "Hey, dumb-ass!"

91
00:03:50,005 --> 00:03:53,274
- I gotta go.
- Well, say, you know, I was thinking...

92
00:03:53,341 --> 00:03:55,209
every coach needs a little help.

93
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,311
- No.
- No, wait... now listen.

94
00:03:57,379 --> 00:03:58,913
I could be your assistant.

95
00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:00,915
- No.
- Run the drills in practice.

96
00:04:00,982 --> 00:04:02,884
- No.
- Pack up the equipment.

97
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,552
- No.
- Mix the Gatorade.

98
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:07,288
- Well, maybe... no!
- Charlie!

99
00:04:07,355 --> 00:04:08,923
- No!
- Oh, come on, Charlie.

100
00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:10,691
I really wanna do this with you.

101
00:04:10,759 --> 00:04:12,860
I miss the game and who knows
how many more chances

102
00:04:12,928 --> 00:04:15,496
we'll have to be together
doing the thing we love most?

103
00:04:15,564 --> 00:04:17,532
Remember all the good times
we had when you were a kid?

104
00:04:17,599 --> 00:04:18,766
No.

105
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,570
Not with you as the coach, pushing me,

106
00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:24,505
making me feel worthless
if I didn't do well.

107
00:04:24,573 --> 00:04:26,240
What kind of father
gives his son a birthday cake

108
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:27,775
that says, "Nice catch" on it?

109
00:04:27,843 --> 00:04:29,477
Oh, that sounds sweet.

110
00:04:29,545 --> 00:04:31,746
It was written in quotes.
He was being sarcastic.

111
00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:35,316
Come on, Charlie. You could use a hand.

112
00:04:35,383 --> 00:04:37,618
Don't you think this could be
good for you guys?

113
00:04:37,686 --> 00:04:39,687
I mean, maybe you could learn
something from each other.

114
00:04:39,755 --> 00:04:42,256
Yeah, Charlie.
Maybe you could teach me something.

115
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:44,792
Maybe you're right.
I can teach you something.

116
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:47,495
I can teach you
how to coach a kid without screwing him up.

117
00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,844
Hey, I'm not too old
to learn there might be a better way.

118
00:04:49,865 --> 00:04:51,732
You'll be the coach,
I'll be the assistant.

119
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,160
- I'll even throw away the whistle.
- I'll take the whistle.

120
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:57,104
My women's defense class
is in a pretty sketchy neighborhood.

121
00:04:57,172 --> 00:05:00,174
Come on, Charlie.
I'll do whatever you want.

122
00:05:00,241 --> 00:05:02,109
You can't ask for more than that.

123
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,011
Oh, yeah? Watch this.

124
00:05:04,079 --> 00:05:06,681
No matter how you feel,

125
00:05:06,748 --> 00:05:08,950
you will support everything
I say enthusiastically.

126
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,537
If I like something, you like it more.

127
00:05:10,552 --> 00:05:13,087
That is the best idea I have ever heard.

128
00:05:13,154 --> 00:05:14,388
Not good enough.

129
00:05:14,456 --> 00:05:16,657
The invention of the wheel

130
00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:20,160
was a stupid idea
compared to what you just said, sir.

131
00:05:20,228 --> 00:05:22,897
Okay, you got the job.

132
00:05:22,965 --> 00:05:25,065
- Yes!
- From now on...

133
00:05:25,133 --> 00:05:26,701
I get the last word on everything.

134
00:05:26,768 --> 00:05:28,369
- Whatever you say.
- Great.

135
00:05:28,436 --> 00:05:30,905
- You can stop talking.
- Will do.

136
00:05:30,973 --> 00:05:33,340
- I mean, now.
- You got it.

137
00:05:33,408 --> 00:05:36,110
Do you even know what
"I get the last word" means?

138
00:05:36,177 --> 00:05:38,980
Am I allowed to answer that?

139
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,482
- No.
- Okay.

140
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,827
So, for the next couple of weeks,

141
00:05:46,894 --> 00:05:48,862
due to some personal commitments
with my daughter's school,

142
00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:52,065
I have asked Dr. Kate Wales
to step in as your therapist.

143
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:54,968
You are in great hands.
You probably won't even want me back.

144
00:05:55,036 --> 00:05:57,571
I could've told you that
before she even sat down.

145
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,874
Okay, on that note,

146
00:06:00,942 --> 00:06:03,710
I will leave you
to get to know each other,

147
00:06:03,778 --> 00:06:06,713
but I just gotta say
that I am so proud of all of you

148
00:06:06,781 --> 00:06:08,582
for handling this transition
so well because...

149
00:06:08,583 --> 00:06:10,151
Are you gonna leave or not?

150
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:12,853
You might want to examine
the group's denial

151
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,288
about me leaving.

152
00:06:14,356 --> 00:06:16,190
There's a lot of anxiety here.

153
00:06:18,893 --> 00:06:20,894
Okay, first, let me say

154
00:06:20,962 --> 00:06:23,063
that my style is a little
different than Charlie's.

155
00:06:23,131 --> 00:06:26,767
He tells you a lot
about himself and I don't.

156
00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:30,103
Patrick, why don't you start us off?

157
00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:31,705
Sure.

158
00:06:31,773 --> 00:06:34,007
So I'm waiting
for the UPS truck to arrive,

159
00:06:34,075 --> 00:06:36,310
which, by the way,
your corporate color is brown?

160
00:06:36,378 --> 00:06:38,679
You know what brown can do for me?
Change to any other color...

161
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:41,282
I'm going to stop you right there.

162
00:06:41,349 --> 00:06:42,749
You're rambling and that's

163
00:06:42,817 --> 00:06:44,537
your passive-aggressive way
of punishing us.

164
00:06:47,889 --> 00:06:51,358
Just jump ahead to the part
where you actually got angry.

165
00:06:51,426 --> 00:06:52,993
Okay.

166
00:06:56,064 --> 00:06:58,131
Well, three days later,

167
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,901
I'm in line at the book store
and... well, those are all gone.

168
00:07:00,968 --> 00:07:02,848
There used to be seven
in my neighborhood, now...

169
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:04,905
The book stores are gone
and so is my patience.

170
00:07:04,972 --> 00:07:06,307
Moving on.

171
00:07:06,374 --> 00:07:08,942
Nolan? Nothing.

172
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:10,077
- Lacey?
- Uh...

173
00:07:10,144 --> 00:07:11,679
Nothing. Ed?

174
00:07:11,746 --> 00:07:14,715
- You're the finest piece...
- Nothing.

175
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:17,951
Okay, people, if this were an emergency
room, you'd be begging for help,

176
00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:20,421
but instead,
you're just sitting here in front of me

177
00:07:20,488 --> 00:07:23,524
bleeding to death,
telling me stories about the UPS truck.

178
00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:27,494
- Nolan.
- Yeah.

179
00:07:27,562 --> 00:07:30,063
- Who are you calling?
- It wasn't Charlie.

180
00:07:33,635 --> 00:07:35,269
Come on, Todd. Right now.

181
00:07:35,337 --> 00:07:36,704
You got this guy. Piece of cake.

182
00:07:36,771 --> 00:07:40,107
Strike three!

183
00:07:40,174 --> 00:07:43,244
That's the second time
he's struck out chasing an outside pitch.

184
00:07:43,311 --> 00:07:44,945
- You've gotta rip him a new one.
- Dad.

185
00:07:45,012 --> 00:07:46,680
You know, in a supportive way,

186
00:07:46,748 --> 00:07:48,628
so that he grows up to be
a nice, solid citizen.

187
00:07:50,418 --> 00:07:53,354
Hey, Todd. Don't get down on yourself.

188
00:07:53,421 --> 00:07:55,789
Next at bat's gonna be
a whole new experience.

189
00:07:55,857 --> 00:07:57,625
By the way,
the cute girl in the second row,

190
00:07:57,692 --> 00:07:58,892
totally digging your swing.

191
00:08:01,129 --> 00:08:02,463
That's my sister.

192
00:08:02,530 --> 00:08:04,265
You're a good-looking family.

193
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,502
See, I never would have thought of that.

194
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:10,237
I'd have told him to get
his head out of his ass.

195
00:08:10,305 --> 00:08:13,407
Instead, you gave it a big, fat kiss.

196
00:08:13,475 --> 00:08:16,243
Is this you supporting me
enthusiastically

197
00:08:16,311 --> 00:08:17,632
and not questioning my decisions?

198
00:08:17,646 --> 00:08:19,747
Yeah, I'm just saying,
I think it's very sweet.

199
00:08:19,814 --> 00:08:21,482
You got to first base with that kid.

200
00:08:21,549 --> 00:08:23,651
It's a lot further than he got.

201
00:08:23,718 --> 00:08:26,119
- Strike three!
- Hey, Ump!

202
00:08:26,187 --> 00:08:28,188
That was a ball!

203
00:08:28,256 --> 00:08:30,324
You should know
what they look like, you're mom's got 'em!

204
00:08:30,392 --> 00:08:32,760
She's a freakin' guy!

205
00:08:32,827 --> 00:08:34,662
I like this kid. He wants to win.

206
00:08:34,729 --> 00:08:37,264
Oh, win.

207
00:08:37,332 --> 00:08:39,366
Is this one of those leagues
where they keep score?

208
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,570
That's what those
giant numbers are in the outfield.

209
00:08:43,638 --> 00:08:45,372
Of course he wants to win.
We all wanna win.

210
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,573
Just not like that.

211
00:08:46,641 --> 00:08:48,909
Logan, talk to me.

212
00:08:48,976 --> 00:08:50,844
Look, I know you're worked up
because we're down by two

213
00:08:50,912 --> 00:08:52,579
and we should be
beating these guys like a rented donkey.

214
00:08:52,647 --> 00:08:54,348
What did I do?

215
00:08:54,416 --> 00:08:57,117
Calling the ump's mom a guy,
at best a she-male,

216
00:08:57,185 --> 00:08:58,819
is crossing the line.

217
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,355
I just wanna win.
This is a bunch of crap.

218
00:09:01,423 --> 00:09:04,191
All right, that's it.
Grab some pine. You're benched.

219
00:09:04,258 --> 00:09:05,392
Telford, you're in.

220
00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:10,631
- Charlie, you sure you wanna
bench our best player? - Hell, yeah.

221
00:09:10,699 --> 00:09:12,466
If somebody had benched me

222
00:09:12,534 --> 00:09:15,235
instead of encouraging my anger as a
motivator, it might've changed my life.

223
00:09:15,303 --> 00:09:18,004
Why don't you just
talk to him after the game

224
00:09:18,072 --> 00:09:19,506
so he can help us win this thing?

225
00:09:19,574 --> 00:09:21,308
Don't you wanna win? You used to.

226
00:09:21,376 --> 00:09:24,211
I remember a 12-year-old boy
standing out in the front yard

227
00:09:24,278 --> 00:09:26,447
crying because he lost a game.

228
00:09:26,514 --> 00:09:29,450
- You locked me out of the house.
- Because you lost the game!

229
00:09:29,517 --> 00:09:31,284
Which I now realize

230
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,454
was the very wrong thing to do.

231
00:09:33,521 --> 00:09:34,855
Do you?

232
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,490
Did I just see the old coach come out?

233
00:09:36,558 --> 00:09:38,826
What's next? The emotionally
blackmail or the tempter tantrum?

234
00:09:38,893 --> 00:09:40,927
Oh, Charlie,
I would never do that to you,

235
00:09:40,995 --> 00:09:43,731
and it makes me sad to think you might
think I would do something like that.

236
00:09:43,798 --> 00:09:45,999
There's the emotional blackmail.

237
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:47,668
All right, fine. Have it your way.

238
00:09:47,736 --> 00:09:48,902
Maybe you're right.

239
00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:50,371
Maybe I was a bad coach

240
00:09:50,438 --> 00:09:52,840
'cause my kid ended up a loser.

241
00:09:52,907 --> 00:09:54,541
And there's the temper tantrum.

242
00:09:59,502 --> 00:10:02,237
I'm really dreading
another session with Kate.

243
00:10:02,304 --> 00:10:04,573
Listen, guys. I don't think we
should be afraid of this witch.

244
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,207
She's gotta have a weakness.

245
00:10:06,275 --> 00:10:08,810
Sunlight, pig's blood, something.

246
00:10:08,878 --> 00:10:10,245
We are smarter than that.

247
00:10:10,312 --> 00:10:12,113
This time, we get under her skin.

248
00:10:12,181 --> 00:10:14,516
- Follow my lead.
- Oh, my Lord.

249
00:10:14,584 --> 00:10:18,052
The second time in my life,
I'm about to take advice from a gay fella.

250
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,521
When was the first?

251
00:10:19,589 --> 00:10:21,823
I'd rather not discuss it.

252
00:10:21,891 --> 00:10:25,360
But there was a time
during the '70s... I had a perm.

253
00:10:28,230 --> 00:10:30,499
All right. Day two.

254
00:10:30,566 --> 00:10:32,267
I hope everyone has decided

255
00:10:32,334 --> 00:10:34,836
to participate today.

256
00:10:34,904 --> 00:10:37,205
Lacey, you're up.

257
00:10:37,273 --> 00:10:40,275
- Uh...
- Nothing. Nolan?

258
00:10:40,342 --> 00:10:42,744
- I'm scared.
- Nothing. Patrick?

259
00:10:42,812 --> 00:10:44,379
I have something.

260
00:10:44,447 --> 00:10:46,214
I think I speak for everyone

261
00:10:46,282 --> 00:10:49,551
when I say that
we find it hard to trust you

262
00:10:49,619 --> 00:10:51,900
and open up when you've only
been our therapist for a day.

263
00:10:51,954 --> 00:10:54,222
I mean, all we know about you

264
00:10:54,290 --> 00:10:55,957
is that you're from a wealthy family,

265
00:10:56,025 --> 00:10:58,693
you're afraid of intimacy,
and you're into bondage.

266
00:11:00,095 --> 00:11:01,996
Why would you think that?

267
00:11:02,064 --> 00:11:04,198
Wealthy comes from
the double-stitched hem

268
00:11:04,266 --> 00:11:07,302
and the ease with which
you wear a $1,000 blazer,

269
00:11:07,369 --> 00:11:10,371
and the fear of intimacy
comes from the tightness of the blouse

270
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,041
and the extraordinary amount of buttons.

271
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:16,277
And the bondage?

272
00:11:16,345 --> 00:11:17,712
Oh, that was just a shot in the dark.

273
00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:19,213
I was gonna say rubber fetish.

274
00:11:21,216 --> 00:11:24,586
I believe "Sherlock Homo"
hit the nail on the head.

275
00:11:25,788 --> 00:11:29,090
This is all very silly.

276
00:11:29,158 --> 00:11:30,492
Let's get back to you.

277
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,661
No, this is interesting.

278
00:11:32,728 --> 00:11:35,063
I feel much more comfortable
talking to you

279
00:11:35,130 --> 00:11:37,298
now that I know
you're a spoiled rich girl

280
00:11:37,366 --> 00:11:38,934
who likes to get spanked.

281
00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:40,101
I can relate.

282
00:11:41,437 --> 00:11:43,071
This is fine.

283
00:11:43,138 --> 00:11:46,274
You're testing me
and I assure you, I can take it.

284
00:11:46,342 --> 00:11:48,510
I've been teased my whole life
and I learned to deal with it.

285
00:11:48,578 --> 00:11:51,245
Wow, you're whole life?

286
00:11:51,313 --> 00:11:55,016
That is so sad.

287
00:11:55,084 --> 00:11:57,519
It's not sad, really.

288
00:11:57,587 --> 00:11:59,754
It makes you stronger.

289
00:11:59,822 --> 00:12:01,656
At least, that's what my dad said.

290
00:12:01,724 --> 00:12:04,258
Your daddy. I bet he's a good man.

291
00:12:04,326 --> 00:12:06,294
He was the best.

292
00:12:06,362 --> 00:12:08,630
Was? Did he die?

293
00:12:08,698 --> 00:12:10,599
Yes, three years ago.

294
00:12:10,666 --> 00:12:13,167
Oh, I bet you miss him.

295
00:12:13,235 --> 00:12:15,370
No, I'm fine.

296
00:12:17,607 --> 00:12:19,647
I just wish I could talk to him again.

297
00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:22,644
Can somebody hand me
that box of Kleenex?

298
00:12:26,782 --> 00:12:29,484
Please, don't cry.

299
00:12:29,552 --> 00:12:31,486
I know exactly how you feel.

300
00:12:31,554 --> 00:12:34,322
I mean,
I've never mentioned this in session,

301
00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:37,025
but sometimes I pick up the phone

302
00:12:37,092 --> 00:12:39,060
and I try to call my mother in heaven.

303
00:12:39,128 --> 00:12:41,997
This is why kids should die

304
00:12:42,064 --> 00:12:44,032
before their parents.

305
00:12:48,137 --> 00:12:49,671
Hey, guys.

306
00:12:49,739 --> 00:12:51,540
Wayne, why are you wearing a spit guard?

307
00:12:51,607 --> 00:12:54,743
'Cause I spit on a guard.

308
00:12:54,810 --> 00:12:56,745
Got it.

309
00:12:56,812 --> 00:12:58,847
Well, the good news is
a lot of guys couldn't pull off that look,

310
00:12:58,915 --> 00:13:00,348
but on you, it works.

311
00:13:02,384 --> 00:13:04,419
You know, Charlie,
it would be a lot easier to hear you

312
00:13:04,486 --> 00:13:05,726
if you could pull off the hood.

313
00:13:06,856 --> 00:13:08,857
Don't do it.

314
00:13:08,925 --> 00:13:10,592
Well, Wayne,

315
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:12,460
sometimes when
we're in the middle of an anger episode,

316
00:13:12,528 --> 00:13:14,288
we need to have
a de-escalation intervention.

317
00:13:14,329 --> 00:13:16,932
Ooh, that's a time-out.

318
00:13:16,999 --> 00:13:19,200
I just dealt with this yesterday.

319
00:13:19,268 --> 00:13:21,235
I'm coaching high school baseball

320
00:13:21,303 --> 00:13:23,538
and I had to bench
my star player for acting out.

321
00:13:23,606 --> 00:13:24,906
Cost us the game.

322
00:13:24,974 --> 00:13:26,775
And his father didn't stab you?

323
00:13:26,842 --> 00:13:31,012
Man, parents just don't
get involved anymore.

324
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,548
Oh, trust me,
parents got angry, but I didn't care.

325
00:13:33,616 --> 00:13:35,976
I was trying to teach
these kids how to control their anger.

326
00:13:35,985 --> 00:13:38,787
But sometimes
there are consequences, like losing a game.

327
00:13:38,854 --> 00:13:41,957
- Or being strapped to a chair.
- See, you get it.

328
00:13:42,024 --> 00:13:44,893
Why can't my father
be as well-adjusted as you?

329
00:13:44,961 --> 00:13:46,294
He won't give me any credit

330
00:13:46,361 --> 00:13:48,496
for trying to coach these kids
without bullying them.

331
00:13:48,564 --> 00:13:50,732
So you didn't care about
what the parents thought,

332
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,401
you didn't care about losing the game,

333
00:13:53,469 --> 00:13:56,204
but you did care about your father?

334
00:13:56,271 --> 00:13:57,806
Well, yeah.

335
00:13:57,873 --> 00:13:59,808
I thought maybe if I showed him
a different way of coaching

336
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:01,042
that he'd change.

337
00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:04,579
Charlie, people don't change.

338
00:14:04,647 --> 00:14:07,181
Do not tell
the parole board I said that.

339
00:14:09,852 --> 00:14:11,786
Charlie, you didn't wanna
show him a better way.

340
00:14:11,854 --> 00:14:13,321
You wanted his approval.

341
00:14:13,388 --> 00:14:15,389
Why would I want that?

342
00:14:15,457 --> 00:14:16,858
I don't know.

343
00:14:16,926 --> 00:14:20,261
I just say things,
I don't really think about them.

344
00:14:20,329 --> 00:14:22,731
Why would I want
my father's approval? I'm a grown man.

345
00:14:22,798 --> 00:14:25,066
I've been through years
of therapy and... ah, damn it.

346
00:14:25,134 --> 00:14:27,068
I want his approval.

347
00:14:27,136 --> 00:14:30,304
Everybody, hit the floor.

348
00:14:30,372 --> 00:14:31,740
We're on lockdown.

349
00:14:31,807 --> 00:14:34,943
Uh, I guess I can leave now.

350
00:14:35,011 --> 00:14:37,311
- Nobody's going anywhere.
- Oh, you don't understand.

351
00:14:37,379 --> 00:14:39,080
I have to leave. I have a game to coach.

352
00:14:39,148 --> 00:14:42,517
You walk out that door,
you either get Tased or shot by the guards,

353
00:14:42,584 --> 00:14:44,619
or shanked and raped by the prisoners.

354
00:14:46,421 --> 00:14:47,689
So the floor, you say.

355
00:14:51,963 --> 00:14:53,764
Damn it, boys, wake up!

356
00:14:53,831 --> 00:14:56,399
We should be winning
this thing and we're down by six runs.

357
00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:58,201
Rodriguez, what the hell's
the matter with you?

358
00:14:58,269 --> 00:15:00,236
Qué pasa, son?

359
00:15:00,304 --> 00:15:02,673
Potter, look at me, boy,
I'm talking to you!

360
00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:04,607
You gotta make
those plays at third base!

361
00:15:04,676 --> 00:15:06,716
You know, your dad went out
for a beer run, I think.

362
00:15:06,744 --> 00:15:08,679
Now I'm starting to think
he went off to buy you a dress!

363
00:15:08,746 --> 00:15:10,080
Get outta my face!

364
00:15:10,148 --> 00:15:12,549
Logan, you're the leadoff batter.

365
00:15:12,616 --> 00:15:14,217
- Come here, I wanna talk to you.
- What?

366
00:15:14,218 --> 00:15:17,554
If baseball doesn't
work out for you son,

367
00:15:17,621 --> 00:15:20,924
- are you planning on being a comedian?
- Why?

368
00:15:20,992 --> 00:15:23,359
Well, because they're
all laughing at you.

369
00:15:23,427 --> 00:15:24,961
- Shut up!
- What? You gonna hit me?

370
00:15:25,029 --> 00:15:27,197
Go ahead!
It'll be the only thing you've hit all day!

371
00:15:27,264 --> 00:15:29,666
Now grab a bat,
get your ass out there, and do some damage!

372
00:15:29,734 --> 00:15:31,668
Now! Move!

373
00:15:31,736 --> 00:15:33,303
What the hell are you doing?

374
00:15:33,370 --> 00:15:35,205
I'm coaching a baseball team.

375
00:15:35,272 --> 00:15:37,113
Somebody had to do it
while you were in prison.

376
00:15:37,141 --> 00:15:38,942
I was trying to rehabilitate murders,

377
00:15:39,010 --> 00:15:40,744
but now I'm starting to
identify with them.

378
00:15:40,812 --> 00:15:43,479
You see all those parents
in the bleachers?

379
00:15:43,547 --> 00:15:46,349
They're all counting on me
to lift this team to the playoffs.

380
00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:50,153
Logan, laughing at you! All of them!

381
00:15:50,221 --> 00:15:53,489
Listen to them! Ha-ha-ha-ha.

382
00:15:53,557 --> 00:15:55,225
Nobody's laughing at you, Logan.

383
00:15:55,292 --> 00:15:56,593
My dad forgot to take his meds.

384
00:15:58,429 --> 00:16:00,063
Use the tools I showed you.

385
00:16:00,131 --> 00:16:01,998
Anger clouds your judgment.

386
00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:03,800
Anger is the hammer of judgment!

387
00:16:03,868 --> 00:16:05,969
Bring that hammer down, son!

388
00:16:06,037 --> 00:16:07,704
My dad's insane.

389
00:16:07,772 --> 00:16:09,706
That's why his second wife left him.

390
00:16:09,774 --> 00:16:12,876
- Keep your cool. - She left me
because I didn't make enough money.

391
00:16:12,944 --> 00:16:15,278
Beat the hell outta that ball
for the both of us, kid.

392
00:16:15,346 --> 00:16:16,980
She left him for a variety of reasons.

393
00:16:17,048 --> 00:16:19,049
You're doing great.

394
00:16:19,117 --> 00:16:21,151
But mostly the money and ignore him.

395
00:16:21,219 --> 00:16:22,919
He doesn't know what the hell
he's talking about.

396
00:16:22,987 --> 00:16:25,321
I don't care what you think.

397
00:16:25,389 --> 00:16:26,957
That's it, you're fired.

398
00:16:27,024 --> 00:16:28,125
What?!

399
00:16:30,461 --> 00:16:32,963
- Think about what you're doing, son.
- Oh, I have thought about it.

400
00:16:33,030 --> 00:16:34,965
I thought about it
all afternoon lying facedown

401
00:16:35,032 --> 00:16:37,400
on a sticky prison floor
worrying about my virginity.

402
00:16:37,468 --> 00:16:39,269
That's it, you're outta here!

403
00:16:39,336 --> 00:16:41,905
You're making a big mistake!

404
00:16:41,973 --> 00:16:45,909
Ah, shut up!

405
00:16:45,977 --> 00:16:48,245
What, you think
I'm the first guy to fire his dad

406
00:16:48,312 --> 00:16:49,873
in front of a crowd at a baseball game?

407
00:16:51,348 --> 00:16:53,850
Lou Gehrig did it in 1938.

408
00:16:53,918 --> 00:16:57,154
And his dad had
"Lou Gehrig's Dad's disease."

409
00:16:57,221 --> 00:16:58,855
Look it up, people.

410
00:17:01,125 --> 00:17:03,726
All right, before we start...

411
00:17:03,795 --> 00:17:06,897
last session was an anomaly.

412
00:17:06,964 --> 00:17:09,266
I became uncharacteristically vulnerable

413
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,334
and I want to thank you all

414
00:17:11,402 --> 00:17:12,936
for sharing your personal stories

415
00:17:13,004 --> 00:17:16,840
that made me feel not so alone.

416
00:17:16,908 --> 00:17:19,876
I still can't believe
you had a stutter till you were 10.

417
00:17:19,944 --> 00:17:23,713
Yeah, that makes
my unibrow year seem so trivial.

418
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:27,050
But when it happens to you,
it's not trivial.

419
00:17:27,118 --> 00:17:30,653
And for a 13-year-old girl
with a giant eyebrow,

420
00:17:30,721 --> 00:17:33,623
it becomes
the most important thing in the world.

421
00:17:33,691 --> 00:17:36,226
It was the thin, hairy line

422
00:17:36,294 --> 00:17:38,628
that separated me from the cool kids.

423
00:17:40,731 --> 00:17:42,966
I was just glad to find out
I wasn't the only one

424
00:17:43,034 --> 00:17:44,667
who had his head shaved for ringworm.

425
00:17:44,735 --> 00:17:48,138
I never should've head butted my ferret.

426
00:17:48,206 --> 00:17:50,974
It's not an approved
training technique, anyway.

427
00:17:51,042 --> 00:17:54,677
I was really just using my ringworm

428
00:17:54,745 --> 00:17:57,580
and stutter as examples of how people

429
00:17:57,648 --> 00:17:59,615
can develop anger
through being stigmatized.

430
00:17:59,683 --> 00:18:01,251
Oh, please.

431
00:18:01,319 --> 00:18:03,653
We're supposed to open up
because you were an ugly,

432
00:18:03,721 --> 00:18:05,155
bald-headed little girl

433
00:18:05,223 --> 00:18:07,623
who took an hour to finish a sentence?

434
00:18:07,691 --> 00:18:10,426
Ed, why would you do that?

435
00:18:10,494 --> 00:18:13,663
I was being nothing but honest and...

436
00:18:13,731 --> 00:18:16,432
tissues, please.

437
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,235
Oh, geez.

438
00:18:18,302 --> 00:18:20,203
Please, don't...

439
00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:22,805
I should be easier on you.

440
00:18:22,874 --> 00:18:25,041
After all, I had...

441
00:18:25,109 --> 00:18:27,744
problems when I was a kid, too.

442
00:18:27,811 --> 00:18:29,645
Go on.

443
00:18:29,713 --> 00:18:31,915
I would wet the bed

444
00:18:31,983 --> 00:18:35,318
and my mama would hang
the sheets out the window

445
00:18:35,386 --> 00:18:37,553
for everybody to see.

446
00:18:37,621 --> 00:18:40,323
And then I got on the Internet

447
00:18:40,391 --> 00:18:43,126
and did a search
and found out that your daddy

448
00:18:43,194 --> 00:18:44,895
is alive and well

449
00:18:44,962 --> 00:18:47,330
and living in Northbrook, Illinois.

450
00:18:48,699 --> 00:18:50,433
You are a liar,

451
00:18:50,501 --> 00:18:53,103
Dr. Ringworm.

452
00:18:56,207 --> 00:18:58,674
Okay, busted.

453
00:19:00,677 --> 00:19:03,213
I realized I can come off
as a bit aloof,

454
00:19:03,281 --> 00:19:06,082
so I thought by exaggerating
my personal narrative,

455
00:19:06,150 --> 00:19:07,884
I could get you to open up

456
00:19:07,952 --> 00:19:09,786
and we could make
some significant progress.

457
00:19:09,853 --> 00:19:11,221
And we did.

458
00:19:11,289 --> 00:19:14,024
You are one twisted individual.

459
00:19:14,091 --> 00:19:16,492
You have no idea.

460
00:19:19,931 --> 00:19:22,665
Hey, Charlie.

461
00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:24,634
I forgot my jacket.

462
00:19:26,570 --> 00:19:28,738
You want a hand?

463
00:19:28,806 --> 00:19:31,207
Thought I fired you.

464
00:19:31,275 --> 00:19:34,544
I may not be your assistant
anymore, but I'm still your dad.

465
00:19:37,714 --> 00:19:40,350
What happened? Car wouldn't start?

466
00:19:40,418 --> 00:19:41,952
Nope.

467
00:19:42,019 --> 00:19:44,087
Battery's dead.

468
00:19:44,155 --> 00:19:46,522
Did you try yelling at it,
get it all fired up?

469
00:19:48,859 --> 00:19:51,127
No, but I did hug it.
That didn't work either.

470
00:19:53,064 --> 00:19:54,431
Thanks.

471
00:19:57,868 --> 00:19:59,235
Tough loss, huh?

472
00:20:01,038 --> 00:20:02,672
Yup.

473
00:20:02,739 --> 00:20:04,740
But I'm proud of those kids.

474
00:20:04,808 --> 00:20:06,943
Nobody lost their temper,
nobody went crazy.

475
00:20:08,879 --> 00:20:10,313
Just a game.

476
00:20:10,381 --> 00:20:12,815
I'm not just talking about the game.

477
00:20:12,883 --> 00:20:14,150
I'm talking about your life.

478
00:20:14,218 --> 00:20:16,819
You could've stayed in baseball.

479
00:20:16,887 --> 00:20:18,488
Oh, sure.

480
00:20:18,555 --> 00:20:20,123
There's tons of teams
looking for an old ballplayer

481
00:20:20,191 --> 00:20:21,624
with a bad knee.

482
00:20:21,692 --> 00:20:24,961
The "L.A. Codgers."

483
00:20:25,029 --> 00:20:27,330
The "Oakland Pathetics."

484
00:20:27,398 --> 00:20:29,599
I mean, as a coach.

485
00:20:29,666 --> 00:20:31,167
And you still can.

486
00:20:31,235 --> 00:20:34,270
Hell, pick up
the phone and call one of your old buddies.

487
00:20:34,338 --> 00:20:36,973
Those kids really wanted
to play for you.

488
00:20:37,041 --> 00:20:38,808
That's a sign of a real coach.

489
00:20:38,876 --> 00:20:41,478
This may come as a shock to you,

490
00:20:41,545 --> 00:20:44,914
but I don't wanna go back to baseball.

491
00:20:44,982 --> 00:20:47,350
I like what I do. I help people.

492
00:20:47,418 --> 00:20:49,285
Helping people makes you happy?

493
00:20:49,353 --> 00:20:52,322
Yeah. Yeah, it does.

494
00:20:52,390 --> 00:20:54,324
Wow.

495
00:20:56,394 --> 00:20:58,961
By the way, do you have Auto Club?

496
00:20:59,030 --> 00:21:00,196
I do, why?

497
00:21:00,264 --> 00:21:02,732
Your tires got slashed.

498
00:21:02,799 --> 00:21:04,534
I think it was that Logan kid.

499
00:21:04,601 --> 00:21:07,103
Could've been the parents.

500
00:21:07,171 --> 00:21:08,771
Nah, it was Logan.

501
00:21:08,839 --> 00:21:12,275
I stood with the parents
and watched him do it.

502
00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:22,300
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com