1
00:00:00,485 --> 00:00:03,679
So, this morning, I looked
in the mirror and I realized
2
00:00:03,703 --> 00:00:05,733
I don't have a job,
3
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,476
a girlfriend, or any money in the bank.
4
00:00:08,544 --> 00:00:10,519
And if I'm not careful,
5
00:00:10,587 --> 00:00:11,889
I could become a failure.
6
00:00:13,635 --> 00:00:15,739
Uh, "become"?
7
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,482
Lacey, Nolan's being vulnerable.
8
00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:20,485
The least you could do is stop
texting while you insult him.
9
00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:21,789
I'm sorry.
10
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:24,226
Uh, "become"?
11
00:00:24,293 --> 00:00:26,998
Come on, guys. This is a support group.
12
00:00:27,066 --> 00:00:28,871
Would anyone care to support Nolan?
13
00:00:28,939 --> 00:00:30,643
I'll jump in there.
14
00:00:30,711 --> 00:00:34,989
Nolan, I support you 110%.
15
00:00:35,057 --> 00:00:37,329
If you believe you can be
a complete failure,
16
00:00:37,397 --> 00:00:39,569
I say go for it.
17
00:00:39,637 --> 00:00:42,106
Thank you, Ed.
18
00:00:42,174 --> 00:00:44,577
All right, all right, enough
with this dog pile of support.
19
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,379
Just because you don't
have everything you want
20
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:47,815
doesn't mean you're a failure.
21
00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:49,985
Oh, my God. It so does.
22
00:00:50,052 --> 00:00:52,625
No, no. It just means
you have to try harder.
23
00:00:52,692 --> 00:00:54,127
Look at me.
24
00:00:54,195 --> 00:00:56,231
I have submitted
half a dozen research papers,
25
00:00:56,299 --> 00:00:58,502
hoping to get a government
grant, and so far, nothing.
26
00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:00,071
Do I dwell on it?
27
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:02,610
Do I wish bad things on the winners?
28
00:01:02,678 --> 00:01:04,747
Sometimes.
29
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,518
But I don't consider myself a failure.
30
00:01:06,586 --> 00:01:07,887
Really?
31
00:01:07,954 --> 00:01:10,825
What are you waiting for?
32
00:01:10,892 --> 00:01:12,728
You people have lost perspective.
33
00:01:12,796 --> 00:01:15,334
You may not have what you want,
but you have what you need.
34
00:01:15,402 --> 00:01:16,602
Oh, yeah. Easy for you to say.
35
00:01:16,603 --> 00:01:18,272
I'm a man in my late 20s
36
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:21,108
and I have yet to summer
on Martha's Vineyard.
37
00:01:21,176 --> 00:01:24,879
And yet you hide your pain
for minutes at a time.
38
00:01:24,947 --> 00:01:27,416
Lacey, you still on community
service for your probation?
39
00:01:27,483 --> 00:01:28,851
I have, like, 300 hours left,
40
00:01:28,918 --> 00:01:31,656
but I figure I can
knock it out in a weekend.
41
00:01:31,724 --> 00:01:34,293
There's a soup kitchen that Sam
and I help out on the holidays.
42
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,663
I want you all to spend a couple
days there before our next session.
43
00:01:36,731 --> 00:01:38,700
- Oh, man.
- I can't, I'm busy this weekend.
44
00:01:38,768 --> 00:01:41,571
I have a class in...
45
00:01:41,638 --> 00:01:45,411
making up better excuses on the fly.
46
00:01:45,478 --> 00:01:47,780
I'll count it as a full
session on your records.
47
00:01:47,848 --> 00:01:50,016
Trust me, it'll be very fulfilling.
48
00:01:50,084 --> 00:01:51,451
See you all next Tuesday.
49
00:01:54,256 --> 00:01:55,590
Are you going with us, Charlie?
50
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,259
Nah, I got to go back
through those research grants
51
00:01:57,327 --> 00:01:58,694
and figure out what
the hell I'm doing wrong.
52
00:01:58,762 --> 00:02:00,498
- I feel like such a...
- Failure?
53
00:02:00,565 --> 00:02:02,367
- No.
- Person of little success?
54
00:02:02,435 --> 00:02:03,835
Closer.
55
00:02:04,798 --> 00:02:07,798
Anger Management 2x20
- Charlie Breaks Up With Kate -
Original air date May 30, 2013
56
00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:10,476
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com
57
00:02:10,477 --> 00:02:11,814
Mmm.
58
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,321
You know, they sell those in stores.
59
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,918
Yeah, but have you seen
how much they cost?
60
00:02:14,985 --> 00:02:18,021
It's outrageous.
Yours are much more affordable.
61
00:02:18,089 --> 00:02:21,058
Hey, what do you say you and I
go see the roller derby tonight?
62
00:02:21,126 --> 00:02:23,695
Roller derby. Sure, then
we can swing by Al's Diner
63
00:02:23,762 --> 00:02:26,231
and hang out with Ralph Malph and Potsie.
64
00:02:26,298 --> 00:02:28,166
Derby's back, Charles.
65
00:02:28,234 --> 00:02:29,768
It's better than ever.
66
00:02:29,836 --> 00:02:32,572
What more could you ask for
than 6-foot-tall ladies
67
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:35,376
with missing teeth elbowing
each other into your lap?
68
00:02:35,444 --> 00:02:38,012
I don't know, teeth.
69
00:02:39,782 --> 00:02:41,083
What else have you got to do?
70
00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:42,351
You're not hooking up with Kate anymore.
71
00:02:42,419 --> 00:02:43,687
No, we're still friends.
72
00:02:43,754 --> 00:02:45,355
I was thinking of picking up
some Chinese
73
00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:47,792
and heading over to her place
and seeing what happens.
74
00:02:47,859 --> 00:02:49,828
Dude, you had a fight, she got mad,
75
00:02:49,896 --> 00:02:51,336
she cut off the sex to make a point.
76
00:02:51,398 --> 00:02:52,999
If you leave her alone,
she'll come back.
77
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,835
You know women.
78
00:02:54,902 --> 00:02:57,738
I mean, I don't, but you do.
79
00:02:57,806 --> 00:02:59,507
You know what? You're right.
80
00:02:59,575 --> 00:03:00,842
I'm gonna let her come to me.
81
00:03:00,910 --> 00:03:02,745
So, roller derby tonight?
82
00:03:02,813 --> 00:03:04,548
Yeah, no.
83
00:03:04,615 --> 00:03:06,617
All right.
84
00:03:06,684 --> 00:03:08,686
If you change your mind, meet me there.
85
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,087
How would I find you?
86
00:03:10,155 --> 00:03:12,023
I'll be the black guy at roller derby.
87
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:15,961
( Knock on door )
Coming!
88
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,732
- Hey, Jen.
- What are you doing here?
89
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,568
Well, I think I'm here
to pick up our daughter,
90
00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:23,716
but if you'd like to keep her,
I'd consider a buyout.
91
00:03:23,772 --> 00:03:26,307
Right, she'll be back in a minute.
92
00:03:26,375 --> 00:03:28,343
But this is good.
93
00:03:28,411 --> 00:03:30,980
I have a story to tell you
you're gonna love.
94
00:03:31,047 --> 00:03:34,150
Do you remember that guy
Sean I was going out with?
95
00:03:34,218 --> 00:03:37,154
The bozo who told Sam that
college was a waste of time?
96
00:03:37,221 --> 00:03:40,124
Right, that guy. But you guys
had some fun times, right?
97
00:03:40,192 --> 00:03:43,929
I tried to hit him with a lamp.
98
00:03:43,996 --> 00:03:47,433
Good times. Well, I have some great news.
99
00:03:47,501 --> 00:03:50,436
He's dead?
100
00:03:50,504 --> 00:03:52,171
We're back together again!
101
00:03:52,239 --> 00:03:54,841
Isn't that crazy? How crazy is that?
102
00:03:54,909 --> 00:03:56,230
That is... that... that is crazy.
103
00:03:56,244 --> 00:03:58,045
You're back together with a dead guy.
104
00:03:58,112 --> 00:03:59,813
Charlie, he's different now.
105
00:03:59,881 --> 00:04:02,249
He lost the two Ferraris,
the nightclub...
106
00:04:02,317 --> 00:04:03,584
He's so arrogant.
107
00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:06,286
No, he's not anymore. He's super humble.
108
00:04:06,354 --> 00:04:08,322
You see? You see,
that's how arrogant he is.
109
00:04:08,389 --> 00:04:11,058
He can't just be humble,
he's got to be super humble.
110
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,026
Ah, Charlie.
111
00:04:13,094 --> 00:04:15,462
Wasn't expecting to see you here today.
112
00:04:15,530 --> 00:04:17,064
Oh, my God. Zombie attack.
113
00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:18,799
Ah.
114
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,301
I don't know what that means.
115
00:04:20,368 --> 00:04:22,536
It's okay, Sean. Good to see you.
116
00:04:22,604 --> 00:04:24,671
Yeah, hi. Good to see you also.
117
00:04:24,739 --> 00:04:26,540
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Sam.
118
00:04:26,608 --> 00:04:28,842
So Sean's taking Sam to run errands now?
119
00:04:28,910 --> 00:04:31,444
No, I took him.
120
00:04:31,512 --> 00:04:34,013
- He let me drive.
- You what?
121
00:04:34,081 --> 00:04:35,582
He gave me my first driving lesson.
122
00:04:35,649 --> 00:04:37,550
She did so good. You know
who she reminds me of?
123
00:04:37,618 --> 00:04:39,886
Who's that woman? The race car driver?
124
00:04:39,953 --> 00:04:41,788
- Oh, with the brown hair.
- With the brown hair.
125
00:04:41,856 --> 00:04:43,957
- She did commercials for the thing
she was... - Yeah, all those.
126
00:04:44,025 --> 00:04:45,492
Trying to sell, I think.
It was, like, a Dana, was it?
127
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,060
I know who you mean.
128
00:04:47,128 --> 00:04:48,629
- No, it's not. It's like...
- She's pretty.
129
00:04:48,696 --> 00:04:50,263
Danica Patrick!
130
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,067
She's very pretty.
131
00:04:56,604 --> 00:04:58,605
I'm gonna go start dinner
'cause that's in the other room.
132
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,374
- And I'll help.
- Please.
133
00:05:03,978 --> 00:05:06,345
That guy took my daughter
on her first driving lesson?
134
00:05:06,413 --> 00:05:08,648
He's going down. Pick a lamp.
135
00:05:08,716 --> 00:05:11,651
I had no idea Sean was gonna do that.
136
00:05:11,719 --> 00:05:13,486
Please don't make
more of this than it is.
137
00:05:13,554 --> 00:05:15,855
Hey, Dad. Can I stay here tonight?
138
00:05:15,923 --> 00:05:18,592
Sean's gonna teach me how
to make homemade ravioli.
139
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:20,494
Sure, sweetie.
140
00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:24,898
Her first ravioli.
141
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,303
Where is my pizza?
142
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:32,206
Whatever happened to your
"30 minutes or less" policy?
143
00:05:32,274 --> 00:05:34,842
It ended 20 years ago?
Well, screw that noise.
144
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,246
I'm... I'm sorry. I'm going
through a lot of stuff right now
145
00:05:39,314 --> 00:05:41,648
with my girlfriend and my kid.
146
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,483
My ex is dating a douchebag.
147
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,152
Why am I telling you this?
148
00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:49,023
Just get my pizza here.
( Doorbell rings )
149
00:05:49,090 --> 00:05:50,925
Finally.
150
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:58,966
You're not the pizza. You're a woman.
151
00:05:59,034 --> 00:06:00,534
Why haven't you answered your phone?
152
00:06:00,602 --> 00:06:02,302
I've been trying to call.
153
00:06:02,370 --> 00:06:03,931
I'm juggling a lot of things right now.
154
00:06:03,938 --> 00:06:05,906
I'm ordering a pizza and I'm...
155
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:08,208
and that's about it.
156
00:06:08,275 --> 00:06:09,542
So, I talked to Jen today
157
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,444
and she told me all about
that Sean thing.
158
00:06:11,512 --> 00:06:13,446
That sucks, so I thought
maybe you'd want me
159
00:06:13,514 --> 00:06:16,049
to come over and hang out with you.
160
00:06:16,116 --> 00:06:17,784
You did? Why?
161
00:06:17,851 --> 00:06:20,554
'Cause I'm your friend
and I was concerned.
162
00:06:20,621 --> 00:06:23,023
My friend?
163
00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:24,424
Come here, buddy.
164
00:06:24,492 --> 00:06:26,660
Hey, Charlie. What are you doing?
165
00:06:26,728 --> 00:06:28,061
Oh, please.
166
00:06:28,129 --> 00:06:29,696
I stayed away, you cooled off,
167
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,764
and now you're here
for a classic booty call.
168
00:06:31,832 --> 00:06:34,400
Don't deny it. You got here
faster than the pizza.
169
00:06:34,468 --> 00:06:36,369
Okay, this was a bad idea.
170
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,071
Good night, I'll see you
in session tomorrow.
171
00:06:38,138 --> 00:06:41,140
Or we could talk about it
in bed right now.
172
00:06:41,208 --> 00:06:43,141
'Cause isn't that
why you're really here?
173
00:06:43,209 --> 00:06:45,610
No, it isn't.
174
00:06:45,678 --> 00:06:49,514
I'm... I'm sorry.
I must've misread things.
175
00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:51,683
Or did I?
176
00:06:51,750 --> 00:06:52,884
Good night.
177
00:06:57,456 --> 00:06:59,190
Oh, look. The pizza guy's here.
178
00:06:59,258 --> 00:07:00,819
He obviously wants to have sex with you
179
00:07:00,859 --> 00:07:02,460
because he showed up, too.
180
00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:09,588
Oh, my God. This is horrible.
181
00:07:09,612 --> 00:07:11,580
I can't believe I agreed to do this.
182
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:14,349
I can't believe you're gonna eat this.
183
00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:16,652
I'm so amazed this is a soup kitchen.
184
00:07:16,719 --> 00:07:18,086
I always thought it was a restaurant.
185
00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:21,190
I've eaten here, like, five times.
186
00:07:21,257 --> 00:07:23,459
It's so sad. I mean, you
look in these people's eyes
187
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,227
and you can tell.
188
00:07:25,295 --> 00:07:28,964
Most of them have never had
bottle service in the VIP Room.
189
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:31,166
Sir, you're on the wrong
side of the counter.
190
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,102
If you come over here,
191
00:07:33,169 --> 00:07:35,304
you'll get yourself a hot
meal and some new clothes.
192
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:38,140
What are you doing, yankin' my nuts?
I'm not homeless.
193
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,843
He's very proud. I think
you should hose him down
194
00:07:40,911 --> 00:07:43,880
and don't take no for an answer.
195
00:07:43,947 --> 00:07:47,316
- Let's go, sir. - What in the hell
makes you think I'm homeless?
196
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,119
How long have you
been wearing that shirt?
197
00:07:50,186 --> 00:07:52,955
I don't know. Maybe a week.
198
00:07:53,022 --> 00:07:55,357
I see.
199
00:07:55,425 --> 00:07:57,960
Would you prefer rice or potatoes?
200
00:07:58,028 --> 00:08:00,196
( Sighs )
201
00:08:00,264 --> 00:08:02,332
Ah, the hell with it. Give me the spuds.
202
00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:05,835
God bless you, sir.
203
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,607
Boy, when you look around,
it really makes you think.
204
00:08:10,675 --> 00:08:13,944
"There but for the grace of God go I."
205
00:08:13,980 --> 00:08:14,642
( Scoffs )
Not I. I chose to save my money
206
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,384
so I could go to design school
and become a fashion designer.
207
00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:16,161
These people, aside from
the occasional lunatic,
208
00:08:16,186 --> 00:08:16,872
made very poor choices in life.
209
00:08:16,901 --> 00:08:19,736
( Coughs )
So you're going to design school, huh?
210
00:08:19,804 --> 00:08:21,605
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I went to design school, too.
211
00:08:21,672 --> 00:08:23,240
Can I have a piece of chicken?
212
00:08:23,307 --> 00:08:25,775
Well, not everybody makes it.
213
00:08:25,843 --> 00:08:27,778
Yeah. I did.
214
00:08:27,845 --> 00:08:30,880
Yeah, I spent six years
working for Hilfiger
215
00:08:30,948 --> 00:08:32,515
in his West Coast design shop.
216
00:08:32,583 --> 00:08:35,852
Then I did accessories for Ralph Lauren.
217
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,355
- You did?
- Crazy world, huh?
218
00:08:38,422 --> 00:08:40,590
Hey, can you make sure
the bread is soft,
219
00:08:40,658 --> 00:08:42,092
'cause my teeth hurt.
220
00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:44,761
I've missed my last
152 dental appointments.
221
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,334
Can a homeless man get a dessert?
222
00:08:50,401 --> 00:08:52,636
They're letting me in the
shoe room in five minutes.
223
00:08:57,375 --> 00:08:58,475
Dude.
224
00:08:58,542 --> 00:09:00,410
( Door slams )
225
00:09:00,478 --> 00:09:01,845
You have any protein powder?
226
00:09:01,913 --> 00:09:04,080
Why are you screaming at me?
227
00:09:04,148 --> 00:09:05,982
I brought home a roller
derby girl last night
228
00:09:06,050 --> 00:09:07,884
and she needs protein powder.
229
00:09:07,952 --> 00:09:09,652
You brought home a roller derby girl?
230
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:12,589
I told her I have a smooth driveway.
231
00:09:12,656 --> 00:09:15,025
Nice.
232
00:09:15,092 --> 00:09:16,993
I don't have any protein powder.
233
00:09:18,496 --> 00:09:20,196
Here's some pancake mix.
234
00:09:20,264 --> 00:09:21,898
Blend in some ice cream, she
won't know the difference.
235
00:09:21,966 --> 00:09:23,967
Thanks.
236
00:09:24,035 --> 00:09:28,038
You know, I could set you up
with one of her giant friends.
237
00:09:28,106 --> 00:09:30,407
Unless Kate came crawling back to you.
238
00:09:30,475 --> 00:09:32,676
No, I thought she did
239
00:09:32,744 --> 00:09:34,845
and I might have messed up
our friendship.
240
00:09:34,913 --> 00:09:36,393
Well, maybe that's for the best, man.
241
00:09:36,414 --> 00:09:38,134
That situation with you
and Kate was no good.
242
00:09:38,149 --> 00:09:39,683
You really believe that?
243
00:09:39,751 --> 00:09:41,252
Nah, you had sex on demand
244
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:44,021
with a crazy hot biddy
who was into the weird.
245
00:09:44,089 --> 00:09:46,057
Sometimes there's
no silver lining, Charlie.
246
00:09:48,026 --> 00:09:49,260
Charlie, we need to talk.
247
00:09:49,328 --> 00:09:50,928
- Hey, Michael.
- Hey, Jen.
248
00:09:50,996 --> 00:09:53,198
I'm out.
249
00:09:53,265 --> 00:09:56,200
I'm off to buy my lady some knee pads.
250
00:09:56,268 --> 00:09:58,269
It's not what you think it's for.
251
00:09:58,337 --> 00:09:59,637
And also it is.
252
00:10:01,841 --> 00:10:03,609
Charlie...
253
00:10:03,676 --> 00:10:07,045
Sean's really sorry and he wants
to take you out for a drink.
254
00:10:07,113 --> 00:10:08,413
Why don't we bring Sam along
255
00:10:08,481 --> 00:10:10,248
so he can buy her her first beer?
256
00:10:10,316 --> 00:10:13,619
He hasn't done that yet... has he?
257
00:10:13,687 --> 00:10:15,721
Look, he made a mistake.
258
00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:17,823
He doesn't have kids,
so he doesn't know better.
259
00:10:17,891 --> 00:10:19,625
I wish he had kids.
260
00:10:19,693 --> 00:10:21,794
I'd take 'em to Disneyland
for the first time
261
00:10:21,861 --> 00:10:25,497
and go on their first rides
and stand in those long lines
262
00:10:25,565 --> 00:10:27,867
and buy them overpriced food and...
263
00:10:27,934 --> 00:10:30,269
I got to find someplace else
to take these imaginary kids.
264
00:10:30,337 --> 00:10:32,405
Charlie, I like him.
265
00:10:32,473 --> 00:10:34,908
And I don't want there
to be tension between you two.
266
00:10:34,975 --> 00:10:36,777
- Please.
- Fine.
267
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:38,178
I'll go, but he's buying.
268
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:40,080
No, no, you're doing me a favor,
269
00:10:40,148 --> 00:10:42,516
so I'm taking care of this one.
270
00:10:42,584 --> 00:10:44,018
Wait a minute. He's the
one who screwed up.
271
00:10:44,085 --> 00:10:45,485
He should be paying for the drinks.
272
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,554
Are you telling me
he can't even afford that?
273
00:10:47,622 --> 00:10:49,222
I'm not telling you anything.
274
00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:50,457
But it's true.
275
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:52,459
Yes.
276
00:10:55,429 --> 00:10:57,163
Okay, here's 50.
277
00:10:57,231 --> 00:10:58,898
Wow, Diamond Jim.
278
00:10:58,966 --> 00:11:00,266
You cash my alimony check?
279
00:11:00,334 --> 00:11:01,667
Just came back from the bank.
280
00:11:01,735 --> 00:11:03,269
Let the good times roll.
281
00:11:03,337 --> 00:11:04,670
Ah, here's another 10.
282
00:11:04,738 --> 00:11:05,938
Buy yourself something pretty.
283
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:12,044
Jen probably talked
to you about it already,
284
00:11:12,111 --> 00:11:14,813
but I'm really sorry about
the whole Sam driving thing.
285
00:11:14,881 --> 00:11:17,416
What can I say? I'm a dick.
286
00:11:17,484 --> 00:11:19,618
Finally, something we can agree on.
287
00:11:19,686 --> 00:11:21,787
I don't know anything
about kids, you know?
288
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:24,657
My parents were terrible,
terrible role models.
289
00:11:24,724 --> 00:11:26,292
You know who taught me how to drive?
290
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,160
My sister's alcoholic mother's husband.
291
00:11:30,196 --> 00:11:32,164
- Wouldn't that be your father?
- Yeah.
292
00:11:32,232 --> 00:11:34,600
He sucked so bad,
we took away his title.
293
00:11:37,271 --> 00:11:39,605
Yeah, my dad was
a real piece of work, too.
294
00:11:39,673 --> 00:11:41,140
First time I ever drove
was to take him to the store
295
00:11:41,208 --> 00:11:43,910
so he could buy a belt to beat me with.
296
00:11:43,978 --> 00:11:45,245
You got beaten with a store-bought belt?
297
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:47,780
That's fancy.
298
00:11:47,848 --> 00:11:50,383
Well, his father beat him
with a tree branch.
299
00:11:50,451 --> 00:11:52,752
- You always want better for your kids.
- It's a step up.
300
00:11:55,155 --> 00:11:57,256
Listen, Sean, all we got to be clear on
301
00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:58,991
is that when you're around Sam,
302
00:11:59,059 --> 00:12:00,760
just be aware that there's
another parent involved, okay?
303
00:12:00,827 --> 00:12:02,895
You got it. All right, I...
304
00:12:02,963 --> 00:12:04,897
trust me, now that I'm moving in,
305
00:12:04,965 --> 00:12:06,732
I'm not gonna make a move without
telling you about it first, all right?
306
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,234
Thank you.
307
00:12:08,301 --> 00:12:10,869
I'm sorry, you're what?
You're moving in?
308
00:12:10,937 --> 00:12:13,038
Yeah.
309
00:12:13,106 --> 00:12:15,874
Jen didn't tell you that?
310
00:12:15,942 --> 00:12:17,710
Why, no, she did not tell me that.
311
00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:21,213
I mean, you're cool with it, right?
312
00:12:21,281 --> 00:12:24,450
Am I cool with it? Let's see.
313
00:12:24,517 --> 00:12:27,319
- Let me run down the cool checklist.
- All right.
314
00:12:27,387 --> 00:12:29,721
You got no money, no job,
315
00:12:29,789 --> 00:12:31,724
- and you're living in the house
that I pay for. - Ahem.
316
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,093
On the other hand,
you are super arrogant.
317
00:12:34,161 --> 00:12:35,928
So, no, dude, I am not cool with it.
318
00:12:35,996 --> 00:12:39,132
- Check, please.
- Okay.
319
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,334
Well, this is super awkward.
320
00:12:41,402 --> 00:12:44,370
Um, listen, Jen gave you enough cash
321
00:12:44,438 --> 00:12:46,906
to cover my portion of the tab, right?
322
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,107
Yeah.
323
00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:50,042
Did she give you a little extra
324
00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:51,777
so I could, like, grab a
sandwich or something?
325
00:12:51,845 --> 00:12:53,279
I didn't eat anything.
326
00:12:53,346 --> 00:12:56,749
It's not Jen's money. It's my money.
327
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:59,418
And I am this close to taking
off my store-bought belt.
328
00:13:07,958 --> 00:13:10,493
Aren't you a little overdressed
for a soup kitchen?
329
00:13:10,561 --> 00:13:13,163
Are you kidding me? I'm so
boosting morale around here.
330
00:13:13,230 --> 00:13:15,332
Everyone's, like,
"This place isn't so bad."
331
00:13:15,399 --> 00:13:17,534
"Check out that hot piece
of ass ladling soup."
332
00:13:20,137 --> 00:13:24,040
The ironic thing was I felt I
was better than everybody else.
333
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:26,675
Oh, my God. I felt the same way.
334
00:13:26,743 --> 00:13:28,711
I didn't realize that we're all
335
00:13:28,779 --> 00:13:31,881
just a couple of bad breaks away
from sleeping on the street.
336
00:13:31,949 --> 00:13:33,950
Oh, I don't sleep on the street.
337
00:13:34,018 --> 00:13:36,586
No, I sleep in an old pipe
on a construction site.
338
00:13:38,589 --> 00:13:40,290
But this year I hope to summer
339
00:13:40,357 --> 00:13:42,191
at a McDonald's Playland near the beach.
340
00:13:45,162 --> 00:13:47,129
That's your Martha's Vineyard.
341
00:13:47,196 --> 00:13:49,865
Here, please, I have
to give you some more money.
342
00:13:49,933 --> 00:13:52,334
No, no, please. You've
done too much already.
343
00:13:52,402 --> 00:13:54,403
I feel guilty that I have so much.
344
00:13:54,470 --> 00:13:56,104
Here's another 20.
345
00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:57,872
It's all I have left.
346
00:14:00,042 --> 00:14:01,609
I got to get back to the line.
347
00:14:01,677 --> 00:14:04,346
You know, I envy you, Patrick.
348
00:14:04,414 --> 00:14:05,747
I wish someone had told me
349
00:14:05,815 --> 00:14:07,483
that pride comes before a fall.
350
00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:10,653
Or, in our case, before
the fall collection.
351
00:14:12,489 --> 00:14:13,856
Auf Wiedersehen.
352
00:14:19,129 --> 00:14:22,064
Ed, come on. You're supposed
to be working here.
353
00:14:22,132 --> 00:14:24,333
Who died and put you in charge?
354
00:14:25,702 --> 00:14:27,803
I don't have to serve here.
355
00:14:27,871 --> 00:14:31,307
I served in a little
soup kitchen called Vietnam.
356
00:14:31,374 --> 00:14:35,878
The only difference was,
in 'Nam, pajamas were free.
357
00:14:35,946 --> 00:14:38,247
But you had to kill the people in 'em.
358
00:14:50,861 --> 00:14:52,462
Hey.
359
00:14:53,897 --> 00:14:55,465
What do you want?
360
00:14:55,532 --> 00:14:57,533
Did I hear you say you served in 'Nam?
361
00:14:59,903 --> 00:15:01,404
Which branch?
362
00:15:01,471 --> 00:15:03,773
Army.
363
00:15:03,841 --> 00:15:05,107
Me, too.
364
00:15:05,175 --> 00:15:06,876
Desert Storm.
365
00:15:06,944 --> 00:15:09,579
Loved to serve, but...
366
00:15:09,646 --> 00:15:12,081
sure was a long way from Texas.
367
00:15:12,149 --> 00:15:15,484
Texas is your home, too?
368
00:15:15,552 --> 00:15:18,654
When I had a home.
369
00:15:18,721 --> 00:15:20,556
Oh, gee, I'm sorry.
370
00:15:24,994 --> 00:15:27,195
Thanks for coming,
but please tell Caroline
371
00:15:27,263 --> 00:15:29,164
that I can't help her with her fear
372
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,900
of leaving her house if she
keeps sending her assistant in
373
00:15:31,968 --> 00:15:33,368
to do her therapy sessions for her.
374
00:15:37,006 --> 00:15:38,874
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey.
375
00:15:38,941 --> 00:15:41,242
Listen, I'm really sorry
about the other night.
376
00:15:41,310 --> 00:15:44,178
And I get it. Sex is off the table...
377
00:15:44,246 --> 00:15:45,679
and the floor and the roof
of your building.
378
00:15:45,747 --> 00:15:47,514
All the usual places.
379
00:15:47,582 --> 00:15:49,682
Thanks and I get it.
380
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,184
I mean, this new dynamic
in our friendship
381
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:52,551
is making things a little confusing,
382
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,086
so why don't we just go in
383
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,722
and deal with the other issues
in your life, not you and me.
384
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,823
No problem. Believe me, I
got plenty to talk about.
385
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,961
So, tell me what's going on.
386
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:06,298
- You're ruining my life.
- Okay, didn't I just...
387
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:07,933
I'm kidding. It was a joke.
388
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,836
Here's the big headline.
389
00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:14,407
Unemployed Sean is moving
in with alimony Jen.
390
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,176
Oh, wow. Well, you must
really resent that.
391
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:19,478
But it's her life and her choices
392
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,346
and you have to accept that.
393
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,281
I know I should, but I can't.
394
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:25,283
Why am I always attracted to women
395
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:28,112
who don't have the sense to know who
they should or shouldn't be with?
396
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,220
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- What?
397
00:16:30,288 --> 00:16:33,023
That wasn't just about Jen.
That was about you and me.
398
00:16:33,091 --> 00:16:35,459
Oh, right, I'm sorry. I didn't
realize I was doing that.
399
00:16:35,526 --> 00:16:37,327
I will keep them separate.
400
00:16:37,395 --> 00:16:39,295
Here we go.
( Sighs )
401
00:16:39,363 --> 00:16:41,431
Jen made a decision that I
don't agree with at all,
402
00:16:41,499 --> 00:16:44,768
but it affects me and I have
no say in the matter.
403
00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:46,276
How come you women don't give a crap
404
00:16:46,337 --> 00:16:47,838
about anyone's feelings but your own?
405
00:16:49,641 --> 00:16:51,275
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
406
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,543
What?
407
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:54,145
You're including me again.
408
00:16:54,212 --> 00:16:56,714
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
409
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:59,751
Obviously, our relationship
or lack of one
410
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,253
is weighing heavily on me
and it's bleeding through.
411
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,623
But I'm aware of it now
and I've got a handle on it,
412
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,358
so I think we can continue.
413
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,461
Well said. Thank you.
414
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,097
Now, what is your issue with Jen?
415
00:17:11,165 --> 00:17:13,332
Well, it's very simple.
416
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,234
What the hell is your problem, lady?
417
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:16,702
We should have sex and be together!
418
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,374
That time I knew what I was doing.
419
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:29,081
Hey, guys.
420
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,683
You wrote down your
favorite childhood reading
421
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,885
and hopefully that will help
us explore some core issues.
422
00:17:32,953 --> 00:17:35,088
Charlie: Ernesto, you said...
423
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:39,158
your dad's "Playboys" from the 1980s.
424
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:42,396
The women were mesmerizing.
425
00:17:42,463 --> 00:17:43,930
And I also learned a lot about
426
00:17:43,998 --> 00:17:46,233
where to place my living room speakers.
427
00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:52,106
Donovan, you said,
"Oh, the Places You'll Go!"
428
00:17:52,174 --> 00:17:54,542
I sure wish Dr. Seuss
woulda written a book
429
00:17:54,610 --> 00:17:56,211
about the places I shouldn't have gone.
430
00:17:57,647 --> 00:18:00,048
Like a gas station
with a gun in my hand.
431
00:18:01,918 --> 00:18:03,352
Or Disneyland.
432
00:18:03,419 --> 00:18:07,022
$10 for a piece of pizza
and I'm in jail.
433
00:18:07,090 --> 00:18:08,757
You carjacked a bus.
434
00:18:08,825 --> 00:18:10,426
They overcharge for pepperoni.
435
00:18:10,494 --> 00:18:12,061
I still agree with you.
436
00:18:13,497 --> 00:18:17,233
Wayne, you said "Alice in Wonderland."
437
00:18:17,301 --> 00:18:19,035
I've always loved that book.
438
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:21,070
There's just something special
about a little girl
439
00:18:21,138 --> 00:18:23,373
who falls down a hole and can't get out.
440
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:27,844
Congratulations, Wayne.
441
00:18:27,912 --> 00:18:29,832
You just made a creepy book
a whole lot creepier.
442
00:18:31,181 --> 00:18:33,282
What books did you read
as a kid, Charlie?
443
00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:36,352
Comic books. Mostly "Batman."
444
00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:37,653
Riddle me this, Charlie.
445
00:18:37,721 --> 00:18:39,956
If Batman catches the Joker every time,
446
00:18:40,023 --> 00:18:42,591
why doesn't the Joker
move to a different city?
447
00:18:42,659 --> 00:18:45,160
- Because the Joker's insane.
- Mm.
448
00:18:45,228 --> 00:18:46,895
And the definition of insanity
is doing the same thing
449
00:18:46,963 --> 00:18:49,098
over and over, expecting
a different result.
450
00:18:49,166 --> 00:18:50,499
That is true.
451
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:52,607
I kept killing people,
hoping the voices would stop.
452
00:18:52,636 --> 00:18:55,271
Never worked.
453
00:18:55,339 --> 00:18:57,506
That is a perfect example, Wayne.
454
00:18:57,574 --> 00:18:59,342
And I know you don't
hear the voices anymore,
455
00:18:59,409 --> 00:19:01,944
considering you're on enough
Thorazine to kill a baby elephant.
456
00:19:02,012 --> 00:19:03,346
I am?
457
00:19:05,482 --> 00:19:07,116
And that kind of destructive behavior
458
00:19:07,184 --> 00:19:08,918
is not just limited to killing sprees.
459
00:19:08,985 --> 00:19:11,020
Oh, guilty as charged.
460
00:19:11,088 --> 00:19:13,188
When I first got locked up,
I had a crush on a young man.
461
00:19:13,256 --> 00:19:15,558
He had problems.
But no matter what I did,
462
00:19:15,625 --> 00:19:18,394
he would not change,
so I had to just walk away.
463
00:19:18,462 --> 00:19:21,097
Granted, he was in the same cell,
so it was only, like, four feet.
464
00:19:21,165 --> 00:19:24,201
But you get what I'm saying.
465
00:19:24,268 --> 00:19:26,236
Who is it? I'll kill him.
466
00:19:26,304 --> 00:19:28,338
Oh, Donovan.
467
00:19:28,406 --> 00:19:29,973
You already did.
468
00:19:34,379 --> 00:19:37,314
Well, not everybody's
as healthy as you, Cleo.
469
00:19:38,616 --> 00:19:40,517
Some people never walk away.
470
00:19:40,585 --> 00:19:42,553
Some people just keep banging
their head against the wall
471
00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:46,690
over and over until they
finally realize that...
472
00:19:46,758 --> 00:19:49,527
she's never gonna change.
473
00:19:49,594 --> 00:19:52,163
When did they give it to me?
474
00:19:52,230 --> 00:19:54,231
Is it in the waffles?
475
00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:58,836
You're the only one
that gets waffles, Wayne.
476
00:20:00,272 --> 00:20:01,873
Then, probably.
477
00:20:07,314 --> 00:20:08,881
You got a minute?
478
00:20:08,910 --> 00:20:11,612
Oh, Charlie, hey. I was
just gonna give you a call.
479
00:20:11,648 --> 00:20:14,083
You got to read this.
480
00:20:14,284 --> 00:20:16,946
I will read this when I wanna read this.
481
00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:20,039
And I will talk when I wanna
talk and I wanna talk now.
482
00:20:20,106 --> 00:20:22,174
You shut down our relationship.
483
00:20:22,242 --> 00:20:24,443
I feel hurt and rejected
484
00:20:24,511 --> 00:20:26,345
and I cannot stand here and
pretend like anything we do here
485
00:20:26,413 --> 00:20:28,493
is gonna make me feel better
when just looking at you
486
00:20:28,548 --> 00:20:30,316
makes me feel like crap.
487
00:20:30,384 --> 00:20:34,620
I realize that the healthy
thing is for me to move on.
488
00:20:34,688 --> 00:20:36,990
I don't want to see you.
489
00:20:37,058 --> 00:20:38,926
I don't want to talk to you.
490
00:20:38,993 --> 00:20:42,429
- We're done.
- Okay.
491
00:20:42,497 --> 00:20:45,366
- Are you finished?
- Yes.
492
00:20:45,434 --> 00:20:48,503
Now read the paper.
493
00:20:48,571 --> 00:20:50,071
Damn it.
494
00:20:50,139 --> 00:20:51,439
It's all about you, isn't it?
495
00:20:51,507 --> 00:20:53,875
It's all about what you want...
496
00:20:53,943 --> 00:20:55,076
and the fact that we got
497
00:20:55,144 --> 00:20:57,412
the big research grant we applied for
498
00:20:57,479 --> 00:20:59,280
and we're gonna be working together
499
00:20:59,348 --> 00:21:00,615
for the next six months.
500
00:21:03,085 --> 00:21:05,186
Aren't you excited?
501
00:21:05,711 --> 00:21:15,711
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com