1
00:00:00,328 --> 00:00:02,671
So the Vietnamese carjacker
that used to do my nails
2
00:00:02,727 --> 00:00:06,495
just got out and now I don't
have anyone to do my pedicure.
3
00:00:06,563 --> 00:00:08,264
I'm so sorry.
4
00:00:08,331 --> 00:00:10,632
I hope the guy who does your
waxing is in here for life.
5
00:00:13,536 --> 00:00:15,303
Hey, Wayne, anything
you want to talk about?
6
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:18,339
Nope, I'm good.
7
00:00:18,406 --> 00:00:20,207
You've been staring at the
wall for the last 40 minutes.
8
00:00:20,275 --> 00:00:22,509
You want to turn your chair
around and join the group?
9
00:00:22,577 --> 00:00:25,312
No, thank you. If I look
anybody in the face,
10
00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:28,214
I'll just want to bite their eyes out.
11
00:00:28,282 --> 00:00:30,950
Oh, come on, Wayne, I'd like
to think that you and I have
12
00:00:31,018 --> 00:00:33,419
developed a bond of mutual trust.
13
00:00:38,391 --> 00:00:41,292
The problem is, they want to add
another 18 months to my sentence.
14
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,561
So instead of being here until 2144,
15
00:00:44,629 --> 00:00:48,998
I guess you'll be stuck here
until September 2145.
16
00:00:49,065 --> 00:00:51,666
( All laugh )
17
00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:54,569
It's not funny.
18
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:58,072
I'm gonna miss another
beach season, Charlie.
19
00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:00,040
So why did they change
your release date?
20
00:01:00,108 --> 00:01:03,209
Well, they reclassified one
of my murders as a hate crime
21
00:01:03,276 --> 00:01:04,716
'cause the victim was half Cherokee.
22
00:01:04,777 --> 00:01:07,312
I'd never kill a man
'cause of the color of his skin.
23
00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:09,447
That's true Wayne.
According to your file...
24
00:01:12,017 --> 00:01:14,718
that is about the only reason
25
00:01:14,786 --> 00:01:17,221
you haven't killed.
26
00:01:17,289 --> 00:01:20,190
We're all the same on the inside.
27
00:01:20,258 --> 00:01:22,259
At least from what I've seen.
28
00:01:32,037 --> 00:01:35,005
( Beeps )
29
00:01:35,073 --> 00:01:37,408
Excuse me, miss, do you have
any piercings down there?
30
00:01:37,476 --> 00:01:39,996
Hey, hey, Bruce, how about phrasing
that a little less personal,
31
00:01:40,045 --> 00:01:44,415
like, "Excuse me, miss, do you
have a chandelier in your foyer?"
32
00:01:44,483 --> 00:01:46,884
That's very sweet, but these
are just my earrings.
33
00:01:46,952 --> 00:01:48,519
Okay, just right through that door.
34
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,354
Thank you.
35
00:01:50,421 --> 00:01:52,389
I mean, he kinda jumped
to conclusions, didn't he?
36
00:01:52,457 --> 00:01:53,724
I know, but...
37
00:01:53,791 --> 00:01:55,926
he was right.
38
00:01:55,993 --> 00:01:58,494
These are decoys.
39
00:01:58,562 --> 00:02:01,230
You have my complete attention.
40
00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:05,535
- Charlie.
- Wynona.
41
00:02:05,602 --> 00:02:08,137
Look, I wish I could talk, but I'm
here visiting my brother Scooter.
42
00:02:08,205 --> 00:02:09,873
Ah, that's too bad.
43
00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,474
I was gonna see if you wanted
to grab a cup of coffee.
44
00:02:11,542 --> 00:02:14,645
You know, sure.
45
00:02:14,712 --> 00:02:16,213
Scooter's not going anywhere.
46
00:02:16,281 --> 00:02:19,850
He tried that once, but they caught him.
47
00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:22,920
I need to warn you, though, the coffee
shop's not nearly as exciting as this place.
48
00:02:22,988 --> 00:02:24,488
There's no one there patting you down
49
00:02:24,556 --> 00:02:26,590
or checking for piercings.
50
00:02:26,658 --> 00:02:29,393
Unless I really knock this
coffee thing outta the park.
51
00:02:32,631 --> 00:02:34,098
You know, Wynona,
52
00:02:34,166 --> 00:02:36,467
we've been sleeping together
for a couple of weeks now.
53
00:02:38,170 --> 00:02:40,210
I think it's about time
we went and got that coffee.
54
00:02:40,607 --> 00:02:44,107
Anger Management 2x27
- Charlie Dates a Serial Killer’s Sister -
Original air date July 11, 2013
55
00:02:44,132 --> 00:02:45,476
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com
56
00:02:45,477 --> 00:02:47,045
Thanks for coming out with me, Patrick.
57
00:02:47,113 --> 00:02:49,013
I've been feeling kinda lonely lately.
58
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:51,315
I'm between relationships myself,
59
00:02:51,383 --> 00:02:54,485
but I tend to eat away my depression.
60
00:02:54,552 --> 00:02:57,287
That's why I've never been
"six-pack abs gay."
61
00:02:57,355 --> 00:03:00,824
I'm more "Mini Cooper sweater vest gay."
62
00:03:00,892 --> 00:03:04,027
Hey, Nolan, can I get you
guys a couple beers?
63
00:03:04,095 --> 00:03:05,328
Thanks, Daley.
64
00:03:05,396 --> 00:03:07,897
By the way, did you ask?
65
00:03:07,965 --> 00:03:10,833
Yeah, but my boss, he's not gonna
put pizza rolls on the menu.
66
00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:12,735
But if you want pizza rolls,
67
00:03:12,803 --> 00:03:14,644
you can always come to
my place tomorrow night.
68
00:03:14,671 --> 00:03:17,173
I have a microwave and a Jacuzzi.
69
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,875
I can't make it.
70
00:03:19,943 --> 00:03:21,677
But I'd definitely use the
microwave to make the pizza rolls.
71
00:03:21,745 --> 00:03:24,814
The Jacuzzi will just
make them all soggy.
72
00:03:24,881 --> 00:03:28,317
Sure, I'll get you guys those beers.
73
00:03:28,385 --> 00:03:30,119
Are you nuts?
74
00:03:30,187 --> 00:03:32,455
You just said you're lonely,
75
00:03:32,522 --> 00:03:34,857
and she was blatantly hitting on you.
76
00:03:34,925 --> 00:03:38,460
Actually, I have plans
with Lacey tomorrow night.
77
00:03:38,528 --> 00:03:40,463
She's gonna be getting
undressed by her window,
78
00:03:40,530 --> 00:03:42,531
and I'm gonna be in my car watching.
79
00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:46,268
That's not "plans with Lacey,"
that's a misdemeanor.
80
00:03:46,336 --> 00:03:49,172
It's not like she doesn't
know I'm out there.
81
00:03:49,239 --> 00:03:51,775
It's an unspoken game we've
been playing for months.
82
00:03:51,843 --> 00:03:53,110
You're delusional.
83
00:03:53,178 --> 00:03:54,946
Come and see for yourself.
84
00:03:55,013 --> 00:03:56,614
I will, but only to prove to you
85
00:03:56,682 --> 00:03:58,516
that you're living in a fantasy world.
86
00:03:58,584 --> 00:04:00,985
And you just passed up
a real opportunity
87
00:04:01,053 --> 00:04:02,787
with a great girl like Daley
88
00:04:02,855 --> 00:04:06,257
for some bizarre stoner
version of "Rear Window."
89
00:04:09,262 --> 00:04:11,496
Ernesto, you seem upset.
90
00:04:11,564 --> 00:04:12,897
Anything you want to talk about?
91
00:04:12,965 --> 00:04:14,799
I told Wayne to quit looking at me.
92
00:04:14,867 --> 00:04:17,068
He said he's gonna eat my eyes out.
93
00:04:17,136 --> 00:04:19,971
( Sighs )
He's not gonna eat your eyes out.
94
00:04:20,039 --> 00:04:22,159
Wayne, tell Ernesto you're
not gonna eat his eyes out.
95
00:04:22,208 --> 00:04:23,875
I'm gonna eat his eyes out.
96
00:04:25,778 --> 00:04:28,113
Oh, Wayne, we know
that's an empty threat.
97
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,915
Last time you attacked a guy,
you only plucked out one eye,
98
00:04:30,983 --> 00:04:33,218
and you couldn't even finish that.
99
00:04:33,285 --> 00:04:35,253
Why are you so mad at Ernesto?
100
00:04:35,321 --> 00:04:38,290
My baby sister came
to see me the other day
101
00:04:38,358 --> 00:04:41,627
and this unworthy son of a
bitch started hitting on her.
102
00:04:41,695 --> 00:04:43,763
I see, and how did that make you feel?
103
00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:46,532
I was angry, but she was all,
104
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,267
"It's okay, Scooter."
105
00:04:48,335 --> 00:04:50,503
Don't hurt him, Scooter.
106
00:04:50,571 --> 00:04:53,673
"Let him live, Scooter."
107
00:04:53,741 --> 00:04:58,011
Scooter?
108
00:05:00,282 --> 00:05:01,982
It's what she calls me.
109
00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:04,585
When I was little, I beat up
a kid and took his nickname.
110
00:05:04,653 --> 00:05:08,422
And just for the sake of conversation,
111
00:05:08,489 --> 00:05:10,290
did you... does your sister have a name?
112
00:05:10,358 --> 00:05:12,192
Wynona.
( Coughs )
113
00:05:14,129 --> 00:05:17,298
And if I find out any of you
even looked at her,
114
00:05:17,365 --> 00:05:21,101
I'll stab you in the heart with a fork.
115
00:05:21,169 --> 00:05:23,003
Well, the important thing is
116
00:05:23,071 --> 00:05:26,139
that Way has a sister that
he cares very much about.
117
00:05:26,207 --> 00:05:29,142
And no one here has even
seen her or talked to her.
118
00:05:30,444 --> 00:05:32,212
Except Ernesto.
119
00:05:37,591 --> 00:05:39,892
- Hey there.
- Hey, buddy. What's going on?
120
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,662
Well, I finally got the
window fixed on my car.
121
00:05:43,730 --> 00:05:45,097
They named a sandwich after me
122
00:05:45,165 --> 00:05:47,299
at the little cafeteria
downstairs from my office.
123
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:49,267
Oh, and I'm dating
a serial killer's sister.
124
00:05:49,335 --> 00:05:52,170
What? Oh, my G... how the
hell did that happen?
125
00:05:52,238 --> 00:05:55,307
I go in there and I order the same
thing every day, turkey and avocado...
126
00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:57,175
No, no, no, I mean the
serial killer thing.
127
00:05:57,243 --> 00:06:00,412
I know, I know, I know. I'm still
trying to figure out what to do.
128
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,681
I met her at the prison,
had no idea who she was,
129
00:06:02,749 --> 00:06:05,017
and now I'm convinced her
brother's gonna kill me.
130
00:06:05,084 --> 00:06:07,286
How's he gonna kill you? He's locked up.
131
00:06:07,353 --> 00:06:08,587
Of course. You're right.
132
00:06:08,655 --> 00:06:11,022
Now she's gonna kill you.
133
00:06:11,090 --> 00:06:13,992
Your girlfriend was spawned
from the same horrific
134
00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:15,994
genetic pool that her brother was.
135
00:06:16,062 --> 00:06:17,996
I know, I know, there's
all this research about
136
00:06:18,063 --> 00:06:19,964
if one sibling has
sociopathic tendencies,
137
00:06:20,032 --> 00:06:21,533
odds are the other one will too.
138
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,536
Break up with this girl, man.
Break up with her now.
139
00:06:24,603 --> 00:06:28,640
I'm a black man yelling at the
movie screen of your life.
140
00:06:28,708 --> 00:06:31,009
Don't go in the basement!
141
00:06:31,077 --> 00:06:33,412
And I'm the white guy
sitting in front of you
142
00:06:33,479 --> 00:06:35,781
who wants to say, "Be
quiet," but I'm afraid.
143
00:06:38,618 --> 00:06:41,787
Patrick: Don't you even feel the
least bit creepy sitting here
144
00:06:41,855 --> 00:06:44,223
waiting to peek at someone
through their window?
145
00:06:44,291 --> 00:06:45,992
Nolan: It's not creepy,
it's like we're on a date.
146
00:06:46,059 --> 00:06:49,495
Patrick: This is all in your head, Nolan.
147
00:06:49,563 --> 00:06:51,964
Nolan: No, it's not. Look
through your binoculars.
148
00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:57,503
Five, four, three, two...
149
00:06:57,571 --> 00:06:59,838
see? Told you.
150
00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:02,141
Patrick: So what? So she
opened up her blinds.
151
00:07:02,208 --> 00:07:03,642
Nolan: Keep watching.
152
00:07:03,710 --> 00:07:05,277
Patrick: So what?
So she opened up her robe.
153
00:07:05,345 --> 00:07:07,980
Nolan: Keep watching.
154
00:07:08,048 --> 00:07:10,783
Patrick: Okay, so she's
got a feather duster.
155
00:07:10,851 --> 00:07:12,318
I'll admit that's odd.
156
00:07:12,385 --> 00:07:15,721
Nolan: Keep watching.
157
00:07:15,788 --> 00:07:19,724
( Nolan laughs )
158
00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:22,527
Patrick: I can't believe
she's doing this on purpose.
159
00:07:22,595 --> 00:07:24,128
I am calling her.
160
00:07:26,398 --> 00:07:28,833
( Phone ringing )
161
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,109
Hey, Patrick, I'm in the
middle of a date right now.
162
00:07:38,177 --> 00:07:39,644
Can I call you back?
163
00:07:39,711 --> 00:07:42,414
Patrick: A date? Anyone I know?
164
00:07:42,481 --> 00:07:45,550
Just some hot guy. Probably a
basketball player or something.
165
00:07:45,618 --> 00:07:48,186
Patrick: Really? Where did he take you?
166
00:07:48,254 --> 00:07:51,156
Nowhere, just a swanky new club.
167
00:07:51,223 --> 00:07:54,593
Patrick: That's funny, I don't
hear anything in the background.
168
00:07:54,661 --> 00:07:57,095
Oh, well, yeah, that's because
it's this hot new place
169
00:07:57,163 --> 00:07:59,531
called... silence.
170
00:07:59,599 --> 00:08:02,119
No one's allowed to talk. Everybody's
looking at me, I gotta go.
171
00:08:05,637 --> 00:08:07,238
Nolan: Well?
172
00:08:07,306 --> 00:08:08,973
Patrick: Okay, you're right.
173
00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:11,209
But what does it tell you?
That she's embarrassed,
174
00:08:11,276 --> 00:08:13,845
ashamed, and doesn't want
to admit it's even happening.
175
00:08:13,912 --> 00:08:16,747
Nolan: That she's in a
relationship with me!
176
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:27,358
Isn't this place great?
177
00:08:27,426 --> 00:08:31,162
Yeah, I mean, it's the middle of nowhere.
How did you find it?
178
00:08:31,229 --> 00:08:34,665
Oh, this guy I used to date when I
first moved to LA brought me here.
179
00:08:34,733 --> 00:08:38,269
I love this spot, but he turned
out to be a real ass clown.
180
00:08:38,336 --> 00:08:40,838
Something you should know about me.
181
00:08:40,905 --> 00:08:43,807
Ever since I was a kid, I've
been terrified of ass clowns.
182
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,978
Yeah, I try to avoid
the ass circus altogether.
183
00:08:52,217 --> 00:08:54,351
Oh, damn it, I hit the trunk latch.
184
00:08:54,419 --> 00:08:55,953
You know what? Let's just leave it.
185
00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:59,056
Nah, somebody might think we need help.
186
00:08:59,123 --> 00:09:02,026
And we know what we're doing, don't we?
187
00:09:11,837 --> 00:09:13,438
Is everything okay?
188
00:09:13,506 --> 00:09:15,507
Yeah. I'm fine.
189
00:09:15,574 --> 00:09:18,075
Are you sure?
190
00:09:18,143 --> 00:09:20,945
You really shouldn't keep a
bottle of bleach in the trunk.
191
00:09:21,012 --> 00:09:23,580
It could spill. But that's
probably why you have
192
00:09:23,648 --> 00:09:27,685
the shower curtain in there...
to protect everything.
193
00:09:27,753 --> 00:09:30,755
Like the roll of duct tape that's there
for apparently no reason at all.
194
00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:37,563
Also, why do you have an axe?
195
00:09:37,630 --> 00:09:39,198
Yeah, I really wish you
wouldn't have seen that.
196
00:09:39,265 --> 00:09:41,567
Me too... I mean, why?
197
00:09:41,635 --> 00:09:44,471
Because I'm a slob.
( Nervous laughter )
198
00:09:44,538 --> 00:09:46,858
Yeah, all that stuff is in there
from fixing up my bathroom,
199
00:09:46,874 --> 00:09:49,109
and the axe is from last Christmas
when I cut down my own tree
200
00:09:49,176 --> 00:09:51,478
and just left it
there like a lazy bones.
201
00:09:51,545 --> 00:09:55,382
And where does one cut down
their own tree in Los Angeles?
202
00:09:55,450 --> 00:09:57,450
There's fir trees all around.
203
00:09:57,518 --> 00:10:00,821
I mean, look, over there,
there's one right behind you.
204
00:10:00,889 --> 00:10:02,589
Ah, that's okay, I believe you.
205
00:10:06,925 --> 00:10:09,193
What's with the private
session, Charlie??
206
00:10:09,261 --> 00:10:11,228
Well, Wayne, you are making
so much progress
207
00:10:11,296 --> 00:10:13,297
that I thought we'd try a new exercise.
208
00:10:15,734 --> 00:10:18,035
I'm gonna present some
hypothetical anger triggers
209
00:10:18,103 --> 00:10:19,770
and you're gonna tell me
how you might respond.
210
00:10:19,838 --> 00:10:21,972
It's tough to say, but I guess I'd
211
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:25,509
take a ballpoint pen and try to
punch a hole in your windpipe.
212
00:10:25,576 --> 00:10:29,079
We haven't started yet.
213
00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:31,247
Oh.
214
00:10:32,616 --> 00:10:34,851
Okay, okay. First hypothetical...
215
00:10:34,919 --> 00:10:37,487
I noticed that you had
a visceral reaction
216
00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:40,190
to the idea of Ernesto
dating your sister.
217
00:10:40,258 --> 00:10:43,527
Is this something you feel
with any guy that tries
218
00:10:43,595 --> 00:10:45,963
to date your sister?
219
00:10:46,030 --> 00:10:48,198
Is this about you and my sister?
220
00:10:48,266 --> 00:10:51,134
- What?
- Yeah, we talk.
221
00:10:51,202 --> 00:10:52,469
What did she tell you?
222
00:10:52,536 --> 00:10:54,237
Everything.
223
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:57,307
Oh.
224
00:10:57,375 --> 00:11:00,210
Welcome to the family, Charlie.
225
00:11:00,278 --> 00:11:04,080
I look forward to being Photoshopped
in all your family pictures.
226
00:11:04,148 --> 00:11:05,668
Look at us, we're practically kinfolk.
227
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:11,554
Wayne, I'm wondering, do you
and your sister share any...
228
00:11:11,622 --> 00:11:14,357
unusual personality traits
that might be viewed as
229
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,326
outside the social norm?
230
00:11:17,394 --> 00:11:19,895
Well, we both have perfect pitch.
231
00:11:21,331 --> 00:11:22,832
Hmm.
232
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:25,368
D-sharp.
233
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:29,272
Sometimes siblings share certain
traits like, you know...
234
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,742
perfect pitch...
235
00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:34,111
killing people.
236
00:11:34,179 --> 00:11:35,813
I get what you're saying, Charlie.
237
00:11:35,881 --> 00:11:37,748
Don't worry, she was adopted.
238
00:11:37,816 --> 00:11:41,986
Wow, I gotta be honest,
I'm really relieved.
239
00:11:42,054 --> 00:11:44,222
I started to think that
maybe she was, you know...
240
00:11:44,290 --> 00:11:48,026
- Gonna kill you?
- Yeah, with an axe.
241
00:11:48,094 --> 00:11:49,995
I found one in the trunk of her car.
242
00:11:50,063 --> 00:11:52,531
Oh, no, she's back to that?
243
00:11:52,599 --> 00:11:53,999
Back to...?
244
00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:55,801
Cutting down her own Christmas trees.
245
00:11:55,869 --> 00:11:57,269
That's an industry, Charlie.
246
00:11:57,337 --> 00:11:59,257
She should be buying that
from a reputable ex-con
247
00:11:59,273 --> 00:12:02,241
in a dirt lot behind a tire store.
248
00:12:02,309 --> 00:12:04,910
So she was using it
for a Christmas tree.
249
00:12:04,978 --> 00:12:06,245
Hmm.
250
00:12:06,313 --> 00:12:08,881
D-sharp again.
251
00:12:08,949 --> 00:12:13,352
I'll be up here, hmm, you
meet me down there, hmm.
252
00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:16,689
( Both humming )
253
00:12:16,757 --> 00:12:20,761
Anyway, I've been
ashamed of what happened
254
00:12:20,828 --> 00:12:22,396
my whole life.
255
00:12:22,464 --> 00:12:24,565
Ed, this is a safe place.
256
00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:28,068
I promise, no matter what you
say, nobody here will judge you,
257
00:12:28,136 --> 00:12:30,471
because judgment makes us
small, Patrick and Lacey.
258
00:12:34,676 --> 00:12:36,076
Okay.
259
00:12:36,144 --> 00:12:40,848
I was born different.
260
00:12:40,916 --> 00:12:43,584
When I was 10 years old,
261
00:12:43,652 --> 00:12:44,986
I had to have
262
00:12:45,054 --> 00:12:48,824
one of my nuts removed.
263
00:12:48,892 --> 00:12:52,294
When the kids at school
found out about it,
264
00:12:52,362 --> 00:12:54,731
they threw acorns at me and yelled,
265
00:12:54,798 --> 00:12:57,934
"Here! We found your nut."
266
00:12:58,002 --> 00:13:00,537
( Laughs )
267
00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:06,444
I'm so sorry. I thought you were done.
268
00:13:06,512 --> 00:13:11,048
Ed, I apologize. It must be
difficult only having one testicle.
269
00:13:11,116 --> 00:13:12,750
Oh, no, no, I have two.
270
00:13:12,818 --> 00:13:15,320
Oh. Oh!
271
00:13:15,387 --> 00:13:17,555
( Laughs )
272
00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,558
I'm gonna stop talking now.
273
00:13:22,828 --> 00:13:26,464
Okay, we'll talk about the damage
that did to you next time.
274
00:13:26,532 --> 00:13:28,366
See everybody next Thursday.
275
00:13:30,669 --> 00:13:33,604
Oh, hey, Nolan, I'm gonna go to
the Merry Peasant tomorrow night.
276
00:13:33,672 --> 00:13:37,208
Do you want to join me? I bet that
waitress who likes you will be there.
277
00:13:37,276 --> 00:13:38,643
Cool, I'll meet you there at 8:00.
278
00:13:38,711 --> 00:13:42,581
Does anyone know when
this heat wave is gonna end?
279
00:13:42,648 --> 00:13:45,717
I heard it's gonna be even
hotter tomorrow night.
280
00:13:45,785 --> 00:13:49,555
I think I'm gonna have to start
sleeping in a wet T-shirt.
281
00:13:51,858 --> 00:13:53,159
Sorry, I can't make it tomorrow.
282
00:13:53,226 --> 00:13:56,962
Family emergency. My aunt is...
283
00:13:57,030 --> 00:14:00,065
fine. It was totally unexpected.
284
00:14:03,436 --> 00:14:05,137
You are despicable.
285
00:14:05,205 --> 00:14:06,538
What?
286
00:14:06,606 --> 00:14:08,440
I was with Nolan last night.
287
00:14:08,508 --> 00:14:10,042
You were? What'd you see?
288
00:14:10,109 --> 00:14:13,111
Everything. I am trying
to get him a social life,
289
00:14:13,179 --> 00:14:15,413
and you're keeping him from
having a real relationship.
290
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,148
If you cared about him at all,
291
00:14:17,216 --> 00:14:20,485
you will stop jerking him
around... or start.
292
00:14:20,553 --> 00:14:22,654
Oh, come on, it's no big deal.
293
00:14:22,721 --> 00:14:25,323
Like you've never danced
in a window for a guy.
294
00:14:25,391 --> 00:14:27,225
This is not about me.
295
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:32,997
How about I get us a couple of beers?
296
00:14:33,064 --> 00:14:34,965
That sounds great.
297
00:14:35,033 --> 00:14:36,000
So, wait a minute, wait a minute...
298
00:14:36,068 --> 00:14:38,803
where did you learn all that?
299
00:14:38,871 --> 00:14:41,973
After high school, all the girls in
the graduating class went to France,
300
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,841
and I stayed home
and banged their boyfriends.
301
00:14:45,578 --> 00:14:47,111
Cool.
302
00:14:51,684 --> 00:14:53,552
Can I borrow your robe?
303
00:14:53,620 --> 00:14:56,088
Gonna take a shower. I left
all my clothes downstairs.
304
00:14:56,155 --> 00:14:57,422
Wynona: Oh, yeah, no problem.
305
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,698
Huh.
306
00:15:06,766 --> 00:15:08,133
( Shouts )
307
00:15:11,538 --> 00:15:13,338
Uh, what happened?
308
00:15:13,406 --> 00:15:16,842
Oh, nothing. It's just a noise
I make when I'm really happy.
309
00:15:16,910 --> 00:15:19,312
( Mock shouts )
310
00:15:19,379 --> 00:15:21,347
You looked in the closet, didn't you?
311
00:15:21,415 --> 00:15:24,517
Animal skulls? Who said
anything about animal skulls?
312
00:15:24,585 --> 00:15:28,355
Charlie, they're just roadkill heads.
313
00:15:28,422 --> 00:15:30,490
J... j... just roadkill heads?
314
00:15:30,558 --> 00:15:32,859
Yeah. It's a hobby of mine.
315
00:15:32,927 --> 00:15:35,495
Ah.
316
00:15:35,563 --> 00:15:37,731
Yeah, if I see little animals
on the side of the road,
317
00:15:37,798 --> 00:15:42,269
I skin them and boil them
and display their heads.
318
00:15:42,336 --> 00:15:44,771
Oh, good, good, I was afraid
it might be something weird.
319
00:15:47,942 --> 00:15:50,177
Wow, you're really
freaked out, aren't you?
320
00:15:50,245 --> 00:15:53,981
Oh, it's because
my brother's a serial killer.
321
00:15:54,049 --> 00:15:55,916
That shouldn't matter because
he's not even your real brother.
322
00:15:55,984 --> 00:15:57,551
You were adopted, right?
323
00:15:57,619 --> 00:16:00,788
Kinda. I was adopted
away from the family.
324
00:16:00,856 --> 00:16:02,823
I'm sorry, what?
325
00:16:02,891 --> 00:16:06,627
Oh, yeah, apparently, I was a handful.
326
00:16:06,695 --> 00:16:09,296
Mom and Dad were always
worried about Wayne's safety.
327
00:16:09,364 --> 00:16:10,725
So they sent me away.
( Chuckles )
328
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,202
Wayne, when you told me she was adopted,
329
00:16:16,234 --> 00:16:17,768
you made me think she
wasn't your real sister.
330
00:16:17,836 --> 00:16:21,005
Charlie, my family crest
features a Trans Am,
331
00:16:21,072 --> 00:16:24,808
a broken lawn mower, and a dead
guy looking for his Trans Am.
332
00:16:27,145 --> 00:16:30,247
We are not the Vanderbilts.
333
00:16:30,315 --> 00:16:32,516
You cannot trick me into liking her.
334
00:16:32,583 --> 00:16:34,284
I'm sorry about that.
335
00:16:34,352 --> 00:16:36,086
I care about her a lot, Charlie,
336
00:16:36,154 --> 00:16:38,822
and I want her to have a chance at
a relationship with a nice guy.
337
00:16:38,889 --> 00:16:42,525
Yeah, but she's crazy. She has a
necklace made of kitten teeth.
338
00:16:42,593 --> 00:16:45,362
I've seen 'em. They go with everything.
339
00:16:45,429 --> 00:16:46,963
You know what, I'm sorry.
340
00:16:47,031 --> 00:16:49,632
I can't do this. I have
to break up with her.
341
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:53,436
I'm just scared that she's gonna
put my boiled head on a shelf.
342
00:16:53,504 --> 00:16:55,405
You got any ideas?
343
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,907
I don't know. She tends to react
344
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,875
pretty badly when a fella
breaks up with her.
345
00:16:59,943 --> 00:17:01,344
Then why don't you
take the heat off of me?
346
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:02,879
You tell her it was your idea.
347
00:17:02,946 --> 00:17:06,949
She does look up to me as kind
of a urbane man of the world.
348
00:17:07,017 --> 00:17:09,352
I've been to six different
county lock-ups,
349
00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:12,922
numerous small-town pokyes,
and a Mexican prison...
350
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,892
that might've just been
a really dirty motel.
351
00:17:18,896 --> 00:17:21,164
Nolan: I don't understand.
She's 15 minutes late.
352
00:17:21,232 --> 00:17:23,333
She's never been late before.
353
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,202
Patrick: Maybe she finally realized
354
00:17:26,270 --> 00:17:28,171
that she's been holding you back.
355
00:17:28,238 --> 00:17:31,841
Now come on, let's go to the bar.
Daley will be there.
356
00:17:31,909 --> 00:17:34,377
Nolan: What if she needs help?
Maybe she's hurt.
357
00:17:34,445 --> 00:17:37,013
Maybe when she went
to open up the blinds,
358
00:17:37,081 --> 00:17:38,882
she got distracted by her shadow,
359
00:17:38,949 --> 00:17:40,516
accidentally wrapped
the cord around her neck,
360
00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:42,885
and almost hung herself.
361
00:17:42,953 --> 00:17:45,255
Patrick: That happened to you, didn't it?
362
00:17:45,322 --> 00:17:47,290
Nolan: Maybe when I was a kid...
363
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,692
and last week.
364
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,628
Patrick: Nolan, you can do better.
365
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:55,465
This is a very low bar.
366
00:17:57,435 --> 00:17:59,936
Let's go.
367
00:18:00,004 --> 00:18:01,871
( Car engine starts )
368
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,244
( Gasps )
Oh, no.
369
00:18:25,797 --> 00:18:28,666
It's not just that she had all
these creepy little rodent skulls,
370
00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:31,235
it was that she named them
after famous killers.
371
00:18:31,303 --> 00:18:32,903
Two of my favorites being
372
00:18:32,971 --> 00:18:36,974
Lizard Borden and James Squirrel Ray.
373
00:18:37,042 --> 00:18:38,742
So what'd you do?
374
00:18:38,810 --> 00:18:40,611
Did you grow a pair
and break up with her?
375
00:18:40,679 --> 00:18:42,480
No, no, no.
376
00:18:42,548 --> 00:18:44,982
I asked Wayne to talk to her for me.
377
00:18:45,050 --> 00:18:46,684
Interesting choice.
378
00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:48,820
When it comes to affairs of the heart,
379
00:18:48,887 --> 00:18:52,724
no one can match the delicate
touch of a serial killer.
380
00:18:52,792 --> 00:18:55,660
- Charlie!
- Wynona!
381
00:18:58,198 --> 00:18:59,499
How's it going?
382
00:18:59,566 --> 00:19:02,301
Not good. Who's your friend?
383
00:19:02,369 --> 00:19:05,004
Detective Mike Bowman, LAPD,
384
00:19:05,071 --> 00:19:07,673
and my mom knows I'm here.
385
00:19:07,741 --> 00:19:10,643
Look, Charlie, I just finished
talking to my brother
386
00:19:10,711 --> 00:19:12,712
and he said he's going to have us both
killed if we keep seeing each other.
387
00:19:12,779 --> 00:19:14,714
Oh, my God, no, that's terrible.
388
00:19:14,781 --> 00:19:17,083
Well, he does have friends on the
outside, so we have no choice
389
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,584
but to never see each other again.
Take care.
390
00:19:18,652 --> 00:19:20,553
No, no, no, don't be afraid of Wayne.
391
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:23,856
I mean, you're his therapist,
you can change his mind.
392
00:19:23,924 --> 00:19:27,293
This is really hard
for me to admit, but...
393
00:19:27,361 --> 00:19:30,229
I am a terrible therapist.
394
00:19:32,099 --> 00:19:34,400
It's true. He's worthless.
395
00:19:34,468 --> 00:19:35,901
Thank you, Michael.
396
00:19:35,969 --> 00:19:38,270
I've known him for a long time,
I've seen his work.
397
00:19:38,338 --> 00:19:41,240
There's lab rats with more
insight into human psychology.
398
00:19:41,307 --> 00:19:42,942
So there's nothing you can do?
399
00:19:43,009 --> 00:19:44,677
One of his patients actually died
400
00:19:44,744 --> 00:19:47,579
from banging his head into a
brick wall out of frustration.
401
00:19:47,647 --> 00:19:51,283
Thank you, Detective, she gets it.
402
00:19:52,619 --> 00:19:55,387
I'm sorry, Wynona,
403
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:59,258
I wish there was another
way, but there's not.
404
00:19:59,326 --> 00:20:02,027
I don't want to risk your safety, so...
405
00:20:02,095 --> 00:20:04,730
you should go.
406
00:20:04,797 --> 00:20:07,199
I'm sorry.
407
00:20:07,266 --> 00:20:10,535
I have to walk away now.
408
00:20:10,603 --> 00:20:13,938
( Whispers ) Mostly because all I
have is a little blue spatula.
409
00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:22,447
It doesn't matter now.
Nothing matters now.
410
00:20:30,456 --> 00:20:33,458
I want you to have this.
411
00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:35,860
His name is Ted Bunny.
412
00:20:35,928 --> 00:20:40,098
Oh, like Ted Bundy. That's cute.
413
00:20:43,235 --> 00:20:45,069
Good-bye, Charlie.
414
00:20:45,137 --> 00:20:47,906
Good-bye, Wynona.
415
00:20:47,974 --> 00:20:50,241
Whenever I'm traveling down the highway
416
00:20:50,309 --> 00:20:53,411
and I see some roadkill,
417
00:20:53,479 --> 00:20:55,146
I'll think of you.
418
00:20:58,117 --> 00:20:59,884
( Sobbing )
419
00:21:04,423 --> 00:21:05,924
A spatula?
420
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:09,594
( Creepy voice )
Yes...
421
00:21:09,662 --> 00:21:12,130
a spatula.
422
00:21:13,655 --> 00:21:23,655
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com