1
00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:01,367
I'm sorry, Jen, but as a rule
2
00:00:01,383 --> 00:00:03,585
we don't talk about your insane
business ideas before breakfast.
3
00:00:03,609 --> 00:00:05,829
Fine, we'll eat breakfast and
then I'll pitch it to you.
4
00:00:05,897 --> 00:00:08,359
Yeah, but then technically it'll
be before breakfast tomorrow.
5
00:00:08,427 --> 00:00:11,001
I don't really see a way out of this.
6
00:00:11,069 --> 00:00:14,667
I'm telling you, Charlie, no one's
ever done a food truck like this.
7
00:00:14,735 --> 00:00:17,905
All we're gonna serve
is turkey, cranberry sauce,
8
00:00:17,972 --> 00:00:19,876
mashed potatoes and stuffing.
9
00:00:19,942 --> 00:00:22,446
It's Thanksgiving all year long.
10
00:00:22,513 --> 00:00:24,716
That's great. You should also
hire some family members
11
00:00:24,784 --> 00:00:27,384
to sit around the truck and argue about
things that happened 20 years ago.
12
00:00:27,452 --> 00:00:29,155
And I have a gimmick.
13
00:00:29,223 --> 00:00:31,228
Whatever you don't finish,
you give back to us
14
00:00:31,295 --> 00:00:34,431
and we serve it to you for free
the next day as leftovers.
15
00:00:34,499 --> 00:00:36,769
If you can find the truck.
16
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:39,609
If you can find the truck.
17
00:00:39,677 --> 00:00:42,312
Hey, I'm going down to get a paper.
18
00:00:42,380 --> 00:00:44,115
I love the obituaries in Los Angeles.
19
00:00:44,183 --> 00:00:45,417
Everybody's famous here.
20
00:00:45,484 --> 00:00:47,652
Last week a sound technician
from "Forrest Gump"
21
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,220
dropped dead on the crapper.
22
00:00:49,288 --> 00:00:51,890
Yup, nothing but glitz and glamour.
23
00:00:51,958 --> 00:00:53,426
I'll be back in five.
24
00:00:53,494 --> 00:00:55,194
Two eggs over easy, bacon crispy.
25
00:00:55,262 --> 00:00:57,498
You know how I like it. Chop, chop.
26
00:00:59,801 --> 00:01:03,269
Do you think rat poison would
change the flavor of eggs?
27
00:01:03,337 --> 00:01:04,804
Why are you so impatient with him?
28
00:01:04,872 --> 00:01:06,707
He's been here three days.
29
00:01:06,774 --> 00:01:08,742
Well, he's scared. There was a robbery
30
00:01:08,810 --> 00:01:11,313
down the block from his complex.
He doesn't want to be alone.
31
00:01:11,381 --> 00:01:12,982
Yeah, there's a huge
market out there right now
32
00:01:13,050 --> 00:01:16,119
for pill organizers
and pit-stained undershirts.
33
00:01:16,187 --> 00:01:18,055
I've got to get him out of here. I
was thinking about buying him a gun.
34
00:01:18,123 --> 00:01:20,491
Oh, no, Charlie. One out
of four shooting victims
35
00:01:20,559 --> 00:01:22,360
gets shot by their own weapon.
36
00:01:22,428 --> 00:01:24,908
Oh, well, then I'll get three
more just to be on the safe side.
37
00:01:28,169 --> 00:01:31,072
So, Nolan, at the last session we talked
about how you don't socialize enough.
38
00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,508
That's crazy.
39
00:01:32,575 --> 00:01:34,610
You mean socialize to
go out and meet people?
40
00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:37,680
- Exactly.
- Oh, yeah, I don't do that.
41
00:01:37,748 --> 00:01:39,850
Would somebody mind
taking Nolan out tonight?
42
00:01:39,917 --> 00:01:42,619
Ooh, ooh, ooh! Dibs on not doing it.
43
00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:44,421
Okay, I've got to respect dibs.
44
00:01:44,489 --> 00:01:46,591
Patrick, you're up.
45
00:01:46,659 --> 00:01:49,895
I think it'll help to have somebody else
ease Nolan into a social situation.
46
00:01:49,962 --> 00:01:52,198
Fine, but only for like an hour.
47
00:01:52,265 --> 00:01:55,401
I have a horrible person staying
in my home who I do not trust.
48
00:01:55,469 --> 00:01:56,870
You don't trust me?
49
00:01:56,937 --> 00:01:59,072
You're the one that told
me I won the lottery.
50
00:01:59,140 --> 00:02:02,175
Do you think I like staying
at the Courtyard Fairyott?
51
00:02:04,511 --> 00:02:06,178
Golly, if you two kids can't make it,
52
00:02:06,246 --> 00:02:08,326
I don't know what chance
there is for the rest of us.
53
00:02:09,449 --> 00:02:13,120
It's not me. Every night I can't sleep
54
00:02:13,187 --> 00:02:15,689
because I'm listening to
this guy get ready for bed.
55
00:02:15,757 --> 00:02:18,392
Who in the hell dries his hair at night?
56
00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:22,029
People with, you know, hair.
57
00:02:23,565 --> 00:02:26,834
I'd have hair if I used
Rogaine like he does.
58
00:02:26,902 --> 00:02:28,669
( Laughing )
59
00:02:28,737 --> 00:02:31,339
Rogaine? I don't...
60
00:02:31,407 --> 00:02:33,441
why would... you stay out
of my medicine cabinet.
61
00:02:34,877 --> 00:02:37,479
I just needed to borrow your deodorant.
62
00:02:37,547 --> 00:02:40,182
Oh, my God.
63
00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:43,585
You see why I'm afraid to
leave him alone in my house?
64
00:02:43,653 --> 00:02:45,187
You've got nothing to worry about.
65
00:02:45,255 --> 00:02:46,889
I already found your diary.
66
00:02:46,956 --> 00:02:49,892
- What?
- Oh, good, he's got a diary.
67
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,328
Okay, guys, we're out of time.
68
00:02:52,396 --> 00:02:54,130
Patrick, treat Ed like a guest.
69
00:02:54,198 --> 00:02:55,632
Ed, keep his stuff out of your armpits.
70
00:02:55,699 --> 00:02:57,600
See you all Thursday.
71
00:02:57,668 --> 00:02:59,536
Ed, can I talk to you for a second?
72
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:05,008
I'm a little concerned that you and
Patrick are gonna murder each other.
73
00:03:05,075 --> 00:03:06,642
I hope half of that happens.
74
00:03:08,245 --> 00:03:09,846
I don't.
75
00:03:09,913 --> 00:03:12,048
I think I might have
a better roommate for you.
76
00:03:12,116 --> 00:03:13,984
How would you feel about
living with my dad?
77
00:03:14,051 --> 00:03:16,620
Well, hell, Charlie,
I barely know the man.
78
00:03:16,688 --> 00:03:18,328
Perfect. That's one of his best features.
79
00:03:19,858 --> 00:03:21,492
Lacey, you've got to help me.
80
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,629
I am too preoccupied
to take Nolan out tonight.
81
00:03:24,696 --> 00:03:27,432
I'm dealing with this hillbilly
ghost haunting my apartment.
82
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,235
He's just not dead yet.
83
00:03:30,303 --> 00:03:32,938
Yeah, sucks to be you. Bye.
84
00:03:33,006 --> 00:03:35,408
Wait. I know you called dibs,
85
00:03:35,475 --> 00:03:37,643
but if you take Nolan
off my hands tonight,
86
00:03:37,711 --> 00:03:39,345
I'll give you $20.
( Scoffs )
87
00:03:39,413 --> 00:03:41,347
I wouldn't do it for 20 million billion.
88
00:03:41,415 --> 00:03:44,784
How about 40 and I don't tell
Charlie you dented his car?
89
00:03:44,852 --> 00:03:47,287
- You did that!
- I'm that desperate.
90
00:03:54,863 --> 00:03:58,299
Sorry I took so long.
The cafeteria was packed.
91
00:03:58,367 --> 00:03:59,834
When did this other couple get here?
92
00:03:59,901 --> 00:04:02,236
It's the same couple.
They're still going at it.
93
00:04:02,304 --> 00:04:03,938
( Alarm beeps )
94
00:04:04,006 --> 00:04:06,041
And she just had another orgasm.
95
00:04:06,108 --> 00:04:09,044
Weird. She's barely moving.
96
00:04:09,111 --> 00:04:10,812
How many is that? Nine?
97
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,281
Try 15.
98
00:04:12,348 --> 00:04:14,984
Mm, I'd like to.
99
00:04:15,051 --> 00:04:17,652
Should we stop them? It's getting late.
100
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,422
We can't stop them. We're
conducting professional research.
101
00:04:20,490 --> 00:04:23,859
What we can do is turn
it into a drinking game.
102
00:04:23,927 --> 00:04:26,663
Good idea.
103
00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:30,099
Every time she has a confirmed orgasm,
104
00:04:30,167 --> 00:04:31,968
we take a shot.
105
00:04:34,471 --> 00:04:36,339
( Alarm beeps )
And she's off.
106
00:04:39,043 --> 00:04:41,478
I hope you didn't make
any plans tonight.
107
00:04:41,545 --> 00:04:44,180
No, I'm happy to say that I'll
be going home to an empty house.
108
00:04:44,248 --> 00:04:46,483
I finally got my dad
to go back to his place.
109
00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:47,950
I thought he was afraid to go back.
110
00:04:47,985 --> 00:04:50,620
He was, but then I convinced
Ed to move in with him.
111
00:04:50,688 --> 00:04:52,455
( Alarm beeps )
Wow.
112
00:04:52,523 --> 00:04:55,024
I know.
113
00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:59,129
Wait, how'd you do that?
They barely know each other.
114
00:04:59,197 --> 00:05:01,231
Well, I told my dad that he
and Ed had a lot in common.
115
00:05:01,299 --> 00:05:02,819
- That they're both, you know...
- Old?
116
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,235
- Yeah, and...
- Horrible people?
117
00:05:04,302 --> 00:05:06,303
Exactly.
118
00:05:06,371 --> 00:05:08,372
( Alarm beeps )
119
00:05:11,109 --> 00:05:12,509
What's his secret?
120
00:05:12,577 --> 00:05:14,778
I think it's all her.
121
00:05:14,846 --> 00:05:17,046
Hitting a pothole
would get this woman off.
122
00:05:17,114 --> 00:05:20,083
Don't you realize that
having one of your patients
123
00:05:20,151 --> 00:05:22,018
move in with your dad
is a recipe for disaster?
124
00:05:22,085 --> 00:05:24,653
No, but what I did realize...
125
00:05:26,256 --> 00:05:28,090
the beeping is coming from the printer.
126
00:05:30,693 --> 00:05:32,194
That woman's not having an orgasm.
127
00:05:32,261 --> 00:05:33,996
She's out of paper.
128
00:05:36,132 --> 00:05:38,500
All I'm saying is that she may be
129
00:05:38,568 --> 00:05:41,470
this country's greatest living American.
130
00:05:41,538 --> 00:05:44,172
( Sighs )
All right, Ed, I'll bite.
131
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,441
How is Dolly Parton
132
00:05:46,509 --> 00:05:48,777
our county's greatest living American?
133
00:05:48,845 --> 00:05:51,713
- Two reasons.
- Oh, come on.
134
00:05:51,781 --> 00:05:53,715
No, no, it's not what you think.
135
00:05:53,783 --> 00:05:55,917
Her songwriting abilities
136
00:05:55,985 --> 00:05:59,121
and her boobs.
137
00:05:59,189 --> 00:06:00,956
Oh, please.
138
00:06:02,259 --> 00:06:03,426
( Tires squeal )
Oh, no!
139
00:06:09,199 --> 00:06:11,734
I hope to God that was the same woman.
140
00:06:13,012 --> 00:06:16,512
Anger Management 2x29
- Charlie and the Hit and Run -
Original air date July 25, 2013
141
00:06:16,537 --> 00:06:18,815
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com
142
00:06:18,871 --> 00:06:21,606
She just came out of nowhere
right in front of the car.
143
00:06:21,674 --> 00:06:23,208
Don't worry about the woman.
144
00:06:23,275 --> 00:06:25,410
The hospital said she'd be fine.
145
00:06:25,477 --> 00:06:27,645
What you ought to worry
about is the lawsuit
146
00:06:27,713 --> 00:06:31,081
because she's gonna sue you
for every last penny you've got.
147
00:06:31,149 --> 00:06:32,510
Why should I be worried about that?
148
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,918
That's why I have insurance.
149
00:06:33,986 --> 00:06:35,286
Insurance?
( Laughs )
150
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,555
That's good. You got an umbrella?
151
00:06:37,622 --> 00:06:39,590
Because there's a tsunami coming
152
00:06:39,658 --> 00:06:43,193
and it speaks Jew and it knows the law.
153
00:06:43,261 --> 00:06:46,263
Now I'm really terrified.
154
00:06:46,331 --> 00:06:48,098
What, that they're gonna
take all your money?
155
00:06:48,165 --> 00:06:50,967
No, that I'm living with you.
156
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:53,369
Look, the woman's gonna be all right.
157
00:06:53,437 --> 00:06:55,238
But her lawyers ain't done yet.
158
00:06:55,306 --> 00:06:56,739
If you got anything saved up,
159
00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:58,641
you better put it in a box and bury it.
160
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,643
I do have a little something put aside.
161
00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:03,279
Well, then hide it, man.
162
00:07:03,347 --> 00:07:07,150
Look, a friend of mine did
that when he was being sued.
163
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,519
He passed his money over to a buddy.
164
00:07:09,587 --> 00:07:11,355
And after everything blew over,
165
00:07:11,422 --> 00:07:13,090
the guy gave it all back to him.
166
00:07:13,158 --> 00:07:15,860
Well, almost all.
167
00:07:15,928 --> 00:07:18,162
I kept a few bucks for a down payment
168
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,464
on a Dodge Dart.
169
00:07:20,532 --> 00:07:22,633
But I can't hide the money with a friend
170
00:07:22,701 --> 00:07:24,461
because if anyone found out,
then that friend
171
00:07:24,469 --> 00:07:26,170
would be an accessory to a crime, right?
172
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,972
Mm-hmm. So what are you gonna do?
173
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,074
I'll give it to the family.
174
00:07:31,810 --> 00:07:33,177
( Music playing )
175
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,945
Okay, I was supposed to get
you out of your house.
176
00:07:35,013 --> 00:07:38,648
- You're out of your house.
- This is fun.
177
00:07:38,716 --> 00:07:42,452
I told you not to talk to me
unless it's something important.
178
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,288
Ugh, crap. My sister's here.
179
00:07:45,356 --> 00:07:47,123
She's such an annoying bitch.
180
00:07:47,191 --> 00:07:50,360
Hey, girl, hey.
181
00:07:50,427 --> 00:07:51,728
What up, girl?
182
00:07:53,364 --> 00:07:54,898
Oh, you look so hot.
183
00:07:54,966 --> 00:07:57,634
Like you've been
throwing up just enough.
184
00:07:57,702 --> 00:07:59,503
Thanks.
185
00:07:59,571 --> 00:08:02,139
I can't wait to talk
to you when I'm more drunk.
186
00:08:02,207 --> 00:08:04,808
What's up with Joe Dirt?
187
00:08:04,876 --> 00:08:08,412
Hey, Sateen. Remember me?
Nolan from group.
188
00:08:08,479 --> 00:08:11,281
Oh, I don't go to AA anymore. I'm cured.
189
00:08:13,584 --> 00:08:15,518
Oh, look, there's someone else.
190
00:08:20,658 --> 00:08:24,695
So, are you and Lacey...
191
00:08:24,762 --> 00:08:25,929
Are we what?
192
00:08:25,997 --> 00:08:28,799
I mean, you know. Are you guys together?
193
00:08:28,866 --> 00:08:31,568
No, she just went over there.
194
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:35,639
( Laughs )
You're stupid.
195
00:08:35,707 --> 00:08:39,043
Now seriously, what's up
with you and my sister?
196
00:08:39,111 --> 00:08:41,479
My therapist asked
this guy to take me out
197
00:08:41,547 --> 00:08:43,915
and he sold me to Lacey for 40 bucks.
198
00:08:43,983 --> 00:08:46,718
So that means my family owns you.
199
00:08:46,786 --> 00:08:49,421
Which means I can do
whatever I want with you.
200
00:08:49,489 --> 00:08:51,423
I guess, for tonight.
201
00:08:51,491 --> 00:08:54,559
I don't know what my
contract says after that.
202
00:08:54,627 --> 00:08:56,828
I thought I saw LeBron James,
203
00:08:56,896 --> 00:08:58,830
but it was just this
other guy I already dated
204
00:08:58,898 --> 00:09:02,534
because I thought he was LeBron James.
205
00:09:02,601 --> 00:09:04,469
Hey, your sister's pretty cool.
206
00:09:04,537 --> 00:09:06,071
You're stupid.
207
00:09:06,138 --> 00:09:07,873
She said the same thing.
208
00:09:07,940 --> 00:09:10,442
Sisters.
209
00:09:14,747 --> 00:09:16,648
What do you think Grandpa
wants to talk to us about?
210
00:09:16,716 --> 00:09:19,551
Maybe he dyed his hair and we're gonna
have to tell him it looks good.
211
00:09:19,619 --> 00:09:22,288
Well, I'm gonna be honest,
unless it does look good,
212
00:09:22,355 --> 00:09:24,390
in which case I'll lie.
213
00:09:24,457 --> 00:09:26,859
Okay, maybe he's coming
over to tell us he's gay.
214
00:09:26,927 --> 00:09:28,795
Lori Miller's grandpa came out last week
215
00:09:28,862 --> 00:09:30,463
and it was really
exciting for everybody.
216
00:09:31,933 --> 00:09:34,501
Except for Lori Miller's grandma.
217
00:09:34,569 --> 00:09:36,637
Hello, everybody.
218
00:09:36,705 --> 00:09:38,372
Jen: Hi, Martin. How's it going?
219
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,641
- Great.
- How are things working out with you and Ed?
220
00:09:40,709 --> 00:09:42,210
Ed? Ed's a big sweetheart.
221
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,778
- Oh, good.
- Sweetheart? I knew it.
222
00:09:46,748 --> 00:09:48,109
What the hell is she talking about?
223
00:09:48,117 --> 00:09:50,284
It doesn't matter.
We'll never accept you.
224
00:09:50,352 --> 00:09:52,886
So what are we here for?
225
00:09:52,954 --> 00:09:54,521
Well, everybody, please sit down.
226
00:09:57,992 --> 00:09:59,826
First of all, I want you all to know
227
00:09:59,894 --> 00:10:01,294
that I love you all very much.
228
00:10:01,362 --> 00:10:02,996
Come on, suicide.
229
00:10:03,064 --> 00:10:05,432
- And in life...
- Darn it.
230
00:10:05,499 --> 00:10:07,300
...you take care of the people you love.
231
00:10:07,368 --> 00:10:10,504
Now, I don't want to die
an old man with a bag of money.
232
00:10:10,572 --> 00:10:12,439
So I've decided to share
233
00:10:12,507 --> 00:10:14,608
my life savings with you three.
234
00:10:14,675 --> 00:10:17,110
I have cashier's checks
for each one of you
235
00:10:17,178 --> 00:10:19,112
for $35,000.
236
00:10:19,180 --> 00:10:21,548
- Are you serious?
- There you go.
237
00:10:21,616 --> 00:10:24,585
- Grandpa, thank you.
- You're welcome.
238
00:10:24,652 --> 00:10:26,920
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. $35,000?
239
00:10:26,988 --> 00:10:28,989
- For each of us?
- Mm-hmm.
240
00:10:29,057 --> 00:10:30,992
Where did you get...
241
00:10:31,059 --> 00:10:33,728
three times $35,000?
242
00:10:33,796 --> 00:10:36,264
I put away a little bit at a time
243
00:10:36,332 --> 00:10:38,500
and it eventually worked up to be 100...
244
00:10:38,568 --> 00:10:41,670
- And $5,000!
- Yes.
245
00:10:41,738 --> 00:10:43,205
Why have I been supporting
you this whole time
246
00:10:43,272 --> 00:10:44,406
when you're sitting
on this kind of money?
247
00:10:44,474 --> 00:10:46,542
Because you're a good son.
248
00:10:46,609 --> 00:10:49,912
But I was also afraid if you cut me
off, I'd need something to live on.
249
00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:52,748
So, there you have it.
Now look, don't spend it.
250
00:10:52,816 --> 00:10:55,318
Save it for a rainy day, all right?
251
00:10:55,386 --> 00:10:59,056
Because you never know when you or
someone you love might need it back.
252
00:10:59,123 --> 00:11:01,558
I mean, need it. Why did I say back?
253
00:11:01,626 --> 00:11:04,594
So who'd like to go out
to dinner and celebrate?
254
00:11:04,662 --> 00:11:07,998
Dad, I don't know what to say.
255
00:11:08,066 --> 00:11:10,934
How about before dinner
we make a toast to you?
256
00:11:11,002 --> 00:11:12,903
Jen, why don't you help me get a
bottle of wine out of the kitchen?
257
00:11:12,971 --> 00:11:14,938
Sure.
258
00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:19,309
Dad, are you dying?
259
00:11:19,377 --> 00:11:21,511
I'm fit as a fiddle.
260
00:11:21,579 --> 00:11:23,680
Oh, we'll get the wine anyway.
261
00:11:27,156 --> 00:11:29,190
This is so sweet of your father.
262
00:11:29,258 --> 00:11:32,126
Sweet, my ass.
The man is up to something.
263
00:11:32,194 --> 00:11:33,627
He's never given me money.
264
00:11:33,695 --> 00:11:36,064
I was always late for preschool
because of my second job.
265
00:11:36,131 --> 00:11:38,833
He's just getting older and sentimental.
266
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:41,969
He wants us to put it in the
bank so we have more security.
267
00:11:42,037 --> 00:11:44,772
Ah, you're probably right.
268
00:11:44,839 --> 00:11:48,409
You know what we should do? Spend it.
269
00:11:48,477 --> 00:11:50,845
Spend it fast, spend it
hard, spend it long.
270
00:11:50,912 --> 00:11:52,313
This is my dad we're talking about.
271
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:53,581
We need to burn through this cash
272
00:11:53,648 --> 00:11:55,416
before he changes his evil little mind.
273
00:11:55,484 --> 00:11:57,251
I'm buying a Corvette.
274
00:11:57,319 --> 00:12:00,020
But, Charlie, he said
to save it for a rainy day.
275
00:12:00,088 --> 00:12:03,724
Yeah? Well, when that day
comes, I'll turn on the wipers.
276
00:12:06,395 --> 00:12:08,296
So, Patrick, I'm a little confused.
I thought I asked you
277
00:12:08,364 --> 00:12:09,831
to take Nolan out last night, not Lacey.
278
00:12:09,899 --> 00:12:12,200
I know. And I feel horrible.
279
00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:14,168
It's probably the biggest
mistake of my life.
280
00:12:14,236 --> 00:12:16,236
A simple "I don't care"
would have been sufficient.
281
00:12:16,238 --> 00:12:17,906
( Laughs )
I don't care.
282
00:12:17,974 --> 00:12:20,208
So, Nolan, how was your evening?
283
00:12:20,276 --> 00:12:23,245
It would have been okay
if he hadn't spent all night
284
00:12:23,313 --> 00:12:25,781
talking to my sister. I hate her.
285
00:12:25,849 --> 00:12:29,018
When she was little, she was
always hanging around our house.
286
00:12:29,085 --> 00:12:31,053
Yeah, that's the problem with kids.
287
00:12:31,121 --> 00:12:34,524
They become entitled and they
think they're part of the family.
288
00:12:34,591 --> 00:12:36,425
Lacey, I was asking Nolan
about his evening.
289
00:12:36,493 --> 00:12:40,296
I know, and I'm telling
you it sucked for me.
290
00:12:40,364 --> 00:12:43,299
We're out of time, so I'll
see you all next Thursday.
291
00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:46,802
So, Ed, how are things
going living with my dad?
292
00:12:46,870 --> 00:12:48,737
Oh, it's fine. He's a good man.
293
00:12:48,804 --> 00:12:51,806
Ed, what's... what's going on
with that money he gave us?
294
00:12:51,874 --> 00:12:54,108
Oh, I don't know nothing about that.
295
00:12:54,176 --> 00:12:56,677
Sometimes a gift is just a gift.
296
00:12:56,745 --> 00:12:58,946
It's not like he's
hiding money or nothing.
297
00:13:03,718 --> 00:13:06,887
Hiding money? From who?
298
00:13:06,955 --> 00:13:09,389
Look, I've said enough.
299
00:13:09,457 --> 00:13:12,326
If you think I'm gonna say any
more, you're sadly mistaken.
300
00:13:12,394 --> 00:13:15,329
I was a prisoner of war in Vietnam
301
00:13:15,397 --> 00:13:17,064
and your daddy's a veteran.
302
00:13:17,132 --> 00:13:19,467
I wouldn't sell him out for anything.
303
00:13:19,534 --> 00:13:21,368
Ed, the police already called.
304
00:13:21,436 --> 00:13:23,504
They just picked him up. He's down there
right now saying it was all your idea.
305
00:13:23,572 --> 00:13:26,840
That son of a bitch.
What do you want to know?
306
00:13:26,908 --> 00:13:28,108
What's going on, Ed?
307
00:13:28,176 --> 00:13:29,710
Well, I just told him
308
00:13:29,778 --> 00:13:32,112
to pass the money to
a friend, not a relative.
309
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:34,848
I didn't want to make you an accessory.
310
00:13:34,916 --> 00:13:37,250
Holy God, what the hell did you guys do?
311
00:13:37,318 --> 00:13:40,754
It wasn't too bad.
We almost killed a woman.
312
00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:44,491
Your daddy hit her with a car
313
00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:47,929
and he's trying to hide the
money in case he gets sued.
314
00:13:47,997 --> 00:13:50,965
All you got to do is just give it back
to him. You won't get in no trouble.
315
00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:53,101
Give it back?
What if I'd already spent it?
316
00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:54,970
Good thing I didn't.
317
00:13:55,037 --> 00:13:57,205
Oh, crap. Jennifer.
318
00:13:57,272 --> 00:13:59,074
I told her to spend it.
319
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,477
Do you want me to go bail
your daddy out of jail?
320
00:14:01,544 --> 00:14:04,024
He's not in jail, Ed. Police never called.
I was just bluffing.
321
00:14:04,046 --> 00:14:06,448
Oh, in that case, would you mind
322
00:14:06,515 --> 00:14:09,651
hitting me over the head
with one of these pool sticks?
323
00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,953
I don't want to look like
I rolled over too easy.
324
00:14:14,790 --> 00:14:16,357
( Knocking )
325
00:14:19,227 --> 00:14:20,861
- Hey, Charlie.
- Why don't you answer your phone?
326
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,529
- I've been calling you for an hour.
- Oh, sorry.
327
00:14:22,597 --> 00:14:25,265
I think I left my phone
where I bought my new truck.
328
00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:27,734
You bought a new truck?
It's only been 10 hours.
329
00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:29,602
That's barely enough time
to look at a brochure.
330
00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:31,671
What's your problem?
331
00:14:31,739 --> 00:14:33,974
My dad gave us that money to hide it
from some lady who's gonna sue him.
332
00:14:34,042 --> 00:14:35,509
If we don't give it back,
we're all gonna be in trouble.
333
00:14:35,577 --> 00:14:36,910
What'd you get, a Dodge, a Ford?
334
00:14:36,978 --> 00:14:40,514
A Thanksgiving food.
335
00:14:40,582 --> 00:14:42,583
You were serious about that.
336
00:14:42,651 --> 00:14:44,785
It's a good business.
337
00:14:44,853 --> 00:14:46,373
I told you about the leftovers, right?
338
00:14:48,289 --> 00:14:49,523
Okay, you know what?
It's still a vehicle,
339
00:14:49,591 --> 00:14:50,457
which means we can still take it back.
340
00:14:50,525 --> 00:14:52,259
I don't think so.
341
00:14:52,327 --> 00:14:54,628
Mr. Garcia... very nice man, by the way...
342
00:14:54,696 --> 00:14:56,897
he took the money
I gave him for the truck
343
00:14:56,965 --> 00:14:58,266
and went back to Guatemala.
344
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,568
He's buying his daughter
back from a drug lord.
345
00:15:03,605 --> 00:15:06,574
I don't understand why we're going
out again if nobody's paying you.
346
00:15:06,642 --> 00:15:09,077
The last time we were here,
all you did was ignore me.
347
00:15:09,145 --> 00:15:11,446
I know, and I feel so bad.
348
00:15:11,514 --> 00:15:13,081
And I want to make it up to you.
349
00:15:13,149 --> 00:15:14,616
The only reason you're here
350
00:15:14,684 --> 00:15:17,286
is so that you and I
can have a good time.
351
00:15:17,353 --> 00:15:18,987
Wow.
352
00:15:19,055 --> 00:15:21,123
You don't know how long
I've been waiting...
353
00:15:21,191 --> 00:15:24,393
Hey, Sateen, look who
likes me better than you.
354
00:15:24,461 --> 00:15:26,929
Oh, God, is that why you called?
355
00:15:26,997 --> 00:15:30,032
To make sure I was here? You are so sad.
356
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:33,369
And see-through. Like Saran sad.
357
00:15:33,437 --> 00:15:35,204
Hey, Nolan.
358
00:15:35,272 --> 00:15:37,974
Once you're done caring for
my ancient older sister,
359
00:15:38,042 --> 00:15:39,376
why don't you hang with me?
360
00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:41,378
Oh, no, no, no.
361
00:15:41,446 --> 00:15:43,814
This stops right now, baby sister.
362
00:15:43,881 --> 00:15:46,349
Nolan, sweetheart, darling, cookie face,
363
00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:48,418
tell Sesame Streetwalker here
364
00:15:48,486 --> 00:15:50,554
that you want to be with me and not her.
365
00:15:50,622 --> 00:15:52,924
Is that true, Nolan?
366
00:15:52,991 --> 00:15:55,526
After all that time we spent
in the booth last night
367
00:15:55,594 --> 00:15:58,296
yelling over the music and nodding
like we could hear each other?
368
00:15:58,364 --> 00:16:01,032
I'm really sorry, Sateen,
369
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,801
and I'll never forget everything
I didn't hear you say,
370
00:16:03,869 --> 00:16:06,070
but my heart belongs to your sister.
371
00:16:06,138 --> 00:16:07,772
That's right.
372
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,175
Now turn that ass around right now
373
00:16:10,242 --> 00:16:12,644
unless you want another nose job.
374
00:16:12,711 --> 00:16:14,779
Fine. Bye, bitch.
375
00:16:14,847 --> 00:16:16,614
Bye, hooker.
376
00:16:16,682 --> 00:16:18,383
Call you tomorrow, baby girl. Love you.
377
00:16:20,285 --> 00:16:22,086
- Hey.
- Come here.
378
00:16:22,154 --> 00:16:25,089
You've got to see this couple from
yesterday having tantric sex.
379
00:16:29,027 --> 00:16:31,195
Are they moving?
380
00:16:31,263 --> 00:16:34,231
Yes, just very slowly.
381
00:16:34,299 --> 00:16:36,266
How can there be a billion
people in India
382
00:16:36,334 --> 00:16:38,468
if it takes this long to have sex?
383
00:16:38,536 --> 00:16:40,937
- I know, right?
- Whoa, you're in a hurry.
384
00:16:41,005 --> 00:16:43,006
My dad ran over an old woman
385
00:16:43,074 --> 00:16:45,342
and my ex-wife is buying
a Thanksgiving food truck.
386
00:16:45,410 --> 00:16:47,644
Mmm, not again.
387
00:16:47,712 --> 00:16:49,046
The woman is gonna be fine,
388
00:16:49,114 --> 00:16:51,048
but I'm afraid the family is gonna sue,
389
00:16:51,116 --> 00:16:53,251
so I want to get over there and try to
come to some reasonable settlement.
390
00:16:53,319 --> 00:16:55,753
- Oh, so you're being proactive.
- Yes, I am.
391
00:16:55,821 --> 00:16:59,157
That's a terrible idea.
392
00:16:59,224 --> 00:17:01,893
Why? I want to try to settle this
before the lawyers get involved.
393
00:17:01,961 --> 00:17:05,163
If I don't, Jen's gonna get dragged
off to jail in a turkey truck.
394
00:17:05,231 --> 00:17:07,532
So you're negotiating out of fear.
395
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,601
You're gonna go in there
like a little puppy dog,
396
00:17:09,669 --> 00:17:11,309
hoping they like you
and listen to reason.
397
00:17:11,370 --> 00:17:13,138
What you really need is a big tough dog
398
00:17:13,205 --> 00:17:15,640
who'll go in there and bite
them before they bite you.
399
00:17:15,708 --> 00:17:17,609
Sure, but where am I
gonna get a big tough dog?
400
00:17:19,011 --> 00:17:20,378
Woof.
401
00:17:24,363 --> 00:17:25,724
Now remember, you are the good cop
402
00:17:25,764 --> 00:17:28,532
and I am the bad cop.
403
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,067
( Knocks )
Remember we used to play that game?
404
00:17:30,135 --> 00:17:31,936
You'd dress up in that little uniform
405
00:17:32,004 --> 00:17:35,673
and pat me down
looking for hidden weapons.
406
00:17:35,741 --> 00:17:38,343
You'd always find the same one
and pretend to be surprised.
407
00:17:40,813 --> 00:17:42,581
Yes? Can I help you?
408
00:17:42,649 --> 00:17:44,930
- Hi, is this the home of Joyce Lewis?
- Yes. I'm her son.
409
00:17:44,951 --> 00:17:47,453
I'm Charlie Goodson.
My father is Martin Goodson.
410
00:17:47,521 --> 00:17:50,356
And I'm his counsel designated
to negotiate on his behalf.
411
00:17:50,424 --> 00:17:52,492
Hells, yeah, she is.
412
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,763
Look, you can just give us a bill
to repair the damages to your car.
413
00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:58,032
We just don't want you taking
us to court, that's all.
414
00:17:58,099 --> 00:18:01,135
- Excuse me?
- My mother suffers from dementia.
415
00:18:01,203 --> 00:18:03,371
She probably jumped out
in front of your father's car.
416
00:18:03,439 --> 00:18:05,607
She used to be a stuntwoman
and she misses the action.
417
00:18:05,675 --> 00:18:07,775
Usually we stop her before
she gets to the street
418
00:18:07,843 --> 00:18:10,011
by yelling "Cut!"
419
00:18:10,078 --> 00:18:12,213
That's very good news.
420
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,249
Except for your mom
getting hit by a car.
421
00:18:15,317 --> 00:18:17,752
Hey, she's a stuntwoman.
That's pretty cool.
422
00:18:17,819 --> 00:18:19,254
Would I have seen her in anything
423
00:18:19,321 --> 00:18:20,989
other than my dad's windshield?
424
00:18:23,826 --> 00:18:26,060
We're gonna go.
425
00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:30,331
- Come and get it.
- Hey.
426
00:18:30,399 --> 00:18:33,501
I brought us some dinner.
( Laughs )
427
00:18:33,569 --> 00:18:35,170
I hope you like biscuits and gravy
428
00:18:35,237 --> 00:18:36,838
because I brought extry.
429
00:18:36,906 --> 00:18:39,274
Did you just say "extry"?
430
00:18:39,341 --> 00:18:41,676
Yeah, I did, but if you don't like
the word, I'll never use it again.
431
00:18:41,743 --> 00:18:44,512
No, no, I'm right good.
432
00:18:44,579 --> 00:18:46,781
It's very kind of you to do this, Ed.
433
00:18:46,848 --> 00:18:50,218
Oh, a fella can be nice
for no reason, right?
434
00:18:50,286 --> 00:18:52,653
I bought you a Bundt cake for dessert.
435
00:18:52,721 --> 00:18:54,288
It's all yours just for being you.
436
00:18:54,356 --> 00:18:56,323
Thank you.
437
00:18:57,792 --> 00:19:00,560
( Knocking )
Oh, hang on.
438
00:19:03,564 --> 00:19:05,899
- Charlie.
- Hey, Dad.
439
00:19:05,967 --> 00:19:09,403
I've got to go. They forgot to
put honey in for the biscuits.
440
00:19:09,471 --> 00:19:12,340
- I got some in the cupboard.
- I prefer it in the package.
441
00:19:13,843 --> 00:19:16,011
Leave me out of this
and save me a thigh.
442
00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:19,648
Hey, come on in, son.
443
00:19:19,715 --> 00:19:22,817
If this is all about you coming over
to thank me for the money again,
444
00:19:22,885 --> 00:19:24,218
you don't have to bother.
445
00:19:24,286 --> 00:19:26,453
But if you'd like to stay
for dinner, Ed bought extry.
446
00:19:28,255 --> 00:19:30,490
You can stop pretending
like everything's fine.
447
00:19:30,557 --> 00:19:32,524
I found out the real reason
you gave us the money.
448
00:19:32,592 --> 00:19:34,393
You hit a woman.
449
00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:36,294
I've never hit a woman in my life.
450
00:19:36,362 --> 00:19:40,831
- With a car.
- Oh, yeah, I did that the other day.
451
00:19:40,899 --> 00:19:42,932
You'll be happy to know they're
coming after everything I own...
452
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,101
my house, Sam's college fund, everything.
453
00:19:45,169 --> 00:19:47,403
Oh, no, Charlie, I swear to you
454
00:19:47,471 --> 00:19:49,238
I never thought this could happen.
455
00:19:49,306 --> 00:19:50,606
Ed said you did.
456
00:19:50,673 --> 00:19:52,508
Well, actually, I did.
457
00:19:52,575 --> 00:19:54,309
I just never thought it would happen.
458
00:19:54,377 --> 00:19:56,011
But, look, this is not a problem.
459
00:19:56,078 --> 00:19:57,879
You just give me all the money
back and I'll handle it.
460
00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,781
I can't give it back. We spent it.
461
00:19:59,849 --> 00:20:03,051
You spent it? It's been
less than 24 hours.
462
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,219
We got excited and bought stuff.
463
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,121
Oh, God, what have I done?
464
00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:10,891
Relax, old man. We didn't
spend all your money.
465
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:12,358
But I talked to the woman's family.
466
00:20:12,426 --> 00:20:13,547
You know she's demented now?
467
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,395
Oh, God, no.
468
00:20:16,463 --> 00:20:19,531
So what you're saying
is she can't testify.
469
00:20:21,034 --> 00:20:22,367
You're unbelievable.
470
00:20:22,435 --> 00:20:23,902
I can't even teach you a lesson.
471
00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:25,838
The reason she ran in front of your car
472
00:20:25,905 --> 00:20:27,673
is because she already had dementia.
473
00:20:27,741 --> 00:20:29,341
They're not gonna sue you,
but I'm thinking about it.
474
00:20:29,409 --> 00:20:32,044
Oh, no, listen, Charlie,
I have learned my lesson.
475
00:20:32,112 --> 00:20:34,880
I feel terrible. Look, you
just give me all my money back
476
00:20:34,948 --> 00:20:37,183
and I'll put my tail between my legs
477
00:20:37,251 --> 00:20:39,919
and just shuffle sadly
off back to the bank.
478
00:20:39,987 --> 00:20:41,921
Well, I can give you my share back,
479
00:20:41,989 --> 00:20:43,550
but I invested Sam's in a college fund.
480
00:20:43,557 --> 00:20:46,392
Okay, I can live with that.
481
00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:48,260
What about the money I gave to Jen?
482
00:20:48,328 --> 00:20:50,162
Bad news.
483
00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:53,298
It's parked at the edge
of Koreatown selling turkey.
484
00:20:54,701 --> 00:20:57,069
Turkey dinner for sale.
485
00:20:57,136 --> 00:21:00,205
Turkey dinner for sale.
486
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,676
Turkey dinner for sale.
487
00:21:04,744 --> 00:21:07,645
Turkey truck for sale.
488
00:21:08,948 --> 00:21:11,216
Turkey truck for sale.
489
00:21:12,919 --> 00:21:14,886
Turkey truck for sale.
490
00:21:14,911 --> 00:21:24,911
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com