1
00:00:00,188 --> 00:00:02,718
Hey, everybody. Welcome back.
2
00:00:02,789 --> 00:00:05,624
By the way, I just wanna
say I'm really sorry
3
00:00:05,691 --> 00:00:07,359
for last week's snack fiasco.
4
00:00:08,578 --> 00:00:10,579
I had no idea that macaroons
5
00:00:10,663 --> 00:00:13,565
would create such vitriolic feelings...
6
00:00:13,633 --> 00:00:15,534
not to mention, mommy issues.
7
00:00:15,602 --> 00:00:18,003
I was as surprised as anybody.
8
00:00:20,106 --> 00:00:23,091
Before we start, I've got
an announcement to make.
9
00:00:23,176 --> 00:00:25,611
This is my last session ever.
10
00:00:25,678 --> 00:00:28,180
Turns out, my problem wasn't anger,
11
00:00:28,248 --> 00:00:30,349
it's that I wasn't a famous model.
12
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But I just booked my first shoot,
13
00:00:34,521 --> 00:00:36,789
so I really just came to make fun of you
14
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and say goodbye.
15
00:00:38,992 --> 00:00:42,728
Ed, you cried over cookies... ha, ha, ha!
16
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A model, huh? In what? A magazine
17
00:00:48,334 --> 00:00:50,002
behind the counter in a gas station?
18
00:00:50,069 --> 00:00:54,039
Or some website
that you have to click on...
19
00:00:54,107 --> 00:00:56,809
"I'm over 18 and horny"?
20
00:00:56,876 --> 00:00:59,077
Please, please, please, please, please...
21
00:01:00,346 --> 00:01:02,247
No. It's for a brand-new
22
00:01:02,315 --> 00:01:04,917
high-fashion line called "Montmarte,"
23
00:01:04,984 --> 00:01:08,420
and as soon as they see how good
my ass looks in their clothes,
24
00:01:08,488 --> 00:01:10,689
they're gonna make it the
new face of their company.
25
00:01:12,826 --> 00:01:14,993
Lacey, we're all happy that you
got your first photo shoot.
26
00:01:15,061 --> 00:01:18,463
And even though models seem like
a healthy and stable bunch...
27
00:01:19,966 --> 00:01:21,466
you really should
keep coming to therapy.
28
00:01:21,534 --> 00:01:24,136
Lacey, I think I speak for Charlie, here
29
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when I say that modeling isn't
gonna solve your problems.
30
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- Thank you. - However,
it does lead to the wealth and fame
31
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that will solve your problems.
32
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- Thank you.
- And thank you again.
33
00:01:35,481 --> 00:01:38,083
Look, Lacey, you still have
underlying anger issues.
34
00:01:38,151 --> 00:01:40,986
Plus... you're too fat to be a model.
35
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- I'll kill you.
- Ah, see? Right there.
36
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And you're not fat. I only
said that to prove my point.
37
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And I only said I'll kill you
38
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because if you call me fat
again, I'll kill you.
39
00:01:57,103 --> 00:01:58,520
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, Jen.
40
00:01:58,605 --> 00:02:00,522
Charlie!
41
00:02:00,607 --> 00:02:02,074
You know, Canvas, every time I
see you, you don't have to...
42
00:02:02,141 --> 00:02:04,543
yeah, I guess you do.
43
00:02:04,611 --> 00:02:07,679
( Sniffs )
Oh, wow, you smell like...
44
00:02:07,747 --> 00:02:09,982
fresh trees at nightfall.
45
00:02:10,049 --> 00:02:11,750
And you smell like...
( Sniffs )
46
00:02:11,818 --> 00:02:14,086
a goat.
47
00:02:14,153 --> 00:02:17,723
Oh, wow! I was just
hanging out with my goat.
48
00:02:17,790 --> 00:02:19,491
You have a goat? He has a goat?
49
00:02:19,559 --> 00:02:24,496
Yeah. I was waiting for that to
come up naturally in conversation.
50
00:02:24,564 --> 00:02:27,499
And here we are.
51
00:02:27,567 --> 00:02:30,269
So, anyway, we came over
52
00:02:30,336 --> 00:02:33,405
because you asked Canvas to
help you feng shui your house.
53
00:02:33,473 --> 00:02:36,475
- I did?
- You 'member, we talked about it
54
00:02:36,526 --> 00:02:39,444
when we were riding horses by
that raw chocolate volcano?
55
00:02:40,947 --> 00:02:43,415
Aw, wait. That was a dream.
56
00:02:43,483 --> 00:02:46,018
Do you remember?
57
00:02:46,085 --> 00:02:48,320
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure
as I was sliding down
58
00:02:48,388 --> 00:02:51,823
your LSD rainbow, I told
you to forget about it.
59
00:02:51,891 --> 00:02:54,159
You know, I'm really
worried that you have
60
00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:56,495
energy blocks in your house,
61
00:02:56,546 --> 00:02:58,964
and someone your age... you
don't need that, you know?
62
00:02:59,031 --> 00:03:01,199
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... someone my age?
63
00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:04,052
Yeah, let's face it.
You got 40 in the rear view,
64
00:03:04,137 --> 00:03:07,038
and you need all the
energy flow you can get.
65
00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:09,608
Right? I'll check it out.
66
00:03:11,711 --> 00:03:12,877
Now, Jen I know that you think
that he's the perfect guy.
67
00:03:12,929 --> 00:03:14,062
I mean, how could you not?
68
00:03:14,147 --> 00:03:16,481
You met at a drug
festival in the desert.
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I wish you'd just give him a chance.
70
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I think that if you and
everyone else got to know him,
71
00:03:21,237 --> 00:03:23,021
you all would actually like him.
72
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,906
Well, Jen, it's not that tough.
73
00:03:24,991 --> 00:03:26,091
Just have a barbecue,
invite everyone you know,
74
00:03:26,159 --> 00:03:27,659
and they'll get to know him.
75
00:03:27,727 --> 00:03:30,412
- You'd do that for me?
- Whoa, whoa... why me?
76
00:03:30,496 --> 00:03:32,831
You got the grill in the divorce.
77
00:03:32,898 --> 00:03:34,658
Jen, if I have the family
over for a barbecue,
78
00:03:34,667 --> 00:03:36,585
that means I gotta invite
people I don't like...
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00:03:36,669 --> 00:03:39,204
like my dad. And Canvas!
80
00:03:39,255 --> 00:03:42,541
Thank you. Thank you, Charlie.
81
00:03:42,592 --> 00:03:44,676
Oh, and remember, Canvas
and I are vegetarians.
82
00:03:44,744 --> 00:03:47,184
That's fine, I'll just lie and
say the hot dogs are vegetarian.
83
00:03:47,213 --> 00:03:48,246
Thank you.
84
00:03:48,314 --> 00:03:51,814
Anger Management 2x31
- Charlie Kills His Ex's Sex Life -
Original air date August 8, 2013
85
00:03:51,839 --> 00:03:54,139
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com
86
00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:56,121
Maybe you should slow down there, Edward.
87
00:03:56,189 --> 00:03:58,657
You're the designated driver tonight.
88
00:03:58,725 --> 00:04:02,294
- Says who?
- Says I've had four already.
89
00:04:02,362 --> 00:04:04,429
- Can I try a beer?
- No, you cannot.
90
00:04:04,497 --> 00:04:06,365
It's against the law.
Besides, as of now,
91
00:04:06,432 --> 00:04:08,984
you are the designated driver tonight.
92
00:04:09,068 --> 00:04:10,819
But I only have a learner's permit.
93
00:04:10,903 --> 00:04:12,604
The best way to learn is to practice.
94
00:04:12,672 --> 00:04:14,840
We're here for you. Hear, hear.
95
00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:20,295
Hey, sorry we're late.
We made a kale-dandelion salad.
96
00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:23,548
And I made the dressing from
milk I got from my goat.
97
00:04:23,616 --> 00:04:27,002
Sounds great. I hope there's
enough for just the two of ya.
98
00:04:27,086 --> 00:04:29,471
I'm sorry. Canvas, this is Ed.
99
00:04:29,555 --> 00:04:31,923
Where's this goat?
If we're gonna eat it,
100
00:04:31,974 --> 00:04:35,343
I'd better get to
the killin' and skinnin'.
101
00:04:35,428 --> 00:04:39,231
No, Ed. My goat has a beautiful spirit,
102
00:04:39,298 --> 00:04:42,234
like you have.
103
00:04:42,301 --> 00:04:44,019
- Come here.
- No!
104
00:04:47,073 --> 00:04:48,640
Canvas, this is my dad, Martin.
105
00:04:48,691 --> 00:04:50,909
He'd hug you, but you're holding meat.
106
00:04:50,976 --> 00:04:53,245
And I'm also a man.
107
00:04:54,814 --> 00:04:58,283
So, Canvas... that's
a very interesting name.
108
00:04:58,351 --> 00:05:00,652
Well, I mean, it's open
to interpretation.
109
00:05:00,703 --> 00:05:03,822
Here's my interpretation...
it's not a real name at all.
110
00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:05,211
And you should button that shirt.
111
00:05:08,261 --> 00:05:10,328
I'll take these out for you. Be nice.
112
00:05:12,548 --> 00:05:14,599
Sorry about my dad.
113
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:15,884
Here's something you
don't know about him...
114
00:05:15,968 --> 00:05:19,187
he's a horrible person.
115
00:05:19,272 --> 00:05:20,972
And you're wearing a dress.
116
00:05:22,909 --> 00:05:25,229
You were pretty much doomed
when you walked into the house.
117
00:05:26,446 --> 00:05:29,614
Wow. So you're saying be myself.
118
00:05:29,682 --> 00:05:30,849
I am?
119
00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:33,535
Yeah. That's so wise.
120
00:05:33,619 --> 00:05:37,739
You gotta be on the planet a long
time to have that kind of wisdom.
121
00:05:37,824 --> 00:05:40,709
Well, I haven't been on
the planet that long.
122
00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:43,528
Oh, right. I forget
sometimes people your age
123
00:05:43,579 --> 00:05:45,263
get sensitive about how old they are.
124
00:05:45,331 --> 00:05:47,582
Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. How
old do you think I am?
125
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:50,469
I don't believe in age.
It's just a number.
126
00:05:50,536 --> 00:05:51,970
I measure people by their vitality.
127
00:05:52,038 --> 00:05:55,006
Oh... I almost forgot.
I made you something.
128
00:05:59,212 --> 00:06:00,479
A cane!?
129
00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:05,784
No, man. It's a walking stick.
130
00:06:05,852 --> 00:06:08,253
It's meant to keep you walking strong
131
00:06:08,321 --> 00:06:10,856
even as your body starts to grow weak.
132
00:06:10,907 --> 00:06:13,692
That's for you.
133
00:06:13,759 --> 00:06:15,410
Thank you.
134
00:06:20,833 --> 00:06:22,400
Where the hell have you been?
135
00:06:22,451 --> 00:06:24,970
I figure it's a barbecue, we're
gonna shoot some hoops later,
136
00:06:25,037 --> 00:06:27,339
so I had to go find my knee brace.
137
00:06:27,406 --> 00:06:29,641
We're not getting any younger, Charlie.
138
00:06:29,709 --> 00:06:32,511
That doesn't mean we're getting old.
139
00:06:32,578 --> 00:06:36,014
Chill out, "Moses."
140
00:06:36,082 --> 00:06:37,782
Where'd you get that cane?
141
00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:40,302
It's a walking stick...
142
00:06:40,386 --> 00:06:42,154
and I don't need it.
143
00:06:42,221 --> 00:06:44,823
I don't know. I've seen some mornings
144
00:06:44,891 --> 00:06:46,391
where you could use
that thing to get around.
145
00:06:46,459 --> 00:06:50,328
It's not because I'm old,
it's because I'm hung over.
146
00:06:50,396 --> 00:06:52,697
Why are you so upset?
147
00:06:52,765 --> 00:06:55,650
Brother Charlie, I meant to ask,
do you need help with anything?
148
00:06:55,735 --> 00:06:57,636
- What's up, man?
- What's up?
149
00:06:57,703 --> 00:06:59,838
You never told me Sam had a boyfriend.
150
00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:02,741
No, no, this is Canvas,
Jen's new boyfriend.
151
00:07:02,808 --> 00:07:06,077
Oh, now I know why.
152
00:07:06,145 --> 00:07:07,779
You want me to bring this cooler out?
153
00:07:07,847 --> 00:07:09,681
I mean, it looks heavy.
154
00:07:09,749 --> 00:07:12,551
I can handle the cooler.
I'm in good shape.
155
00:07:12,618 --> 00:07:14,152
I played professional baseball.
156
00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:15,971
What about you, Canvas?
You play any sports?
157
00:07:16,055 --> 00:07:17,422
And dancing naked around a fire
158
00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:19,925
blowing on a pan flute is not a sport.
159
00:07:19,976 --> 00:07:23,595
Yeah, actually, I'm a
pretty natural athlete.
160
00:07:23,663 --> 00:07:25,730
Oh, really? What do you say we go outside
161
00:07:25,798 --> 00:07:28,133
- and play a little basketball?
- Cool. I'm in.
162
00:07:28,201 --> 00:07:31,036
No, not you. Just me and Canvas.
163
00:07:31,103 --> 00:07:33,305
One-on-one.
164
00:07:34,574 --> 00:07:36,141
You wanna borrow my knee brace?
165
00:07:36,209 --> 00:07:38,243
I don't need your stupid knee brace.
166
00:07:38,310 --> 00:07:40,028
Let's do this.
167
00:07:42,615 --> 00:07:44,833
Keep it handy, just in case.
168
00:07:50,006 --> 00:07:52,224
Please tell me they're done
playing basketball.
169
00:07:52,309 --> 00:07:54,644
It's been five hours. They
missed the whole barbecue.
170
00:07:54,695 --> 00:07:56,679
( Sighs )
I don't think Charlie's gonna quit
171
00:07:56,747 --> 00:07:58,948
- until he wins a game.
- Has he come close?
172
00:07:59,016 --> 00:08:02,785
Well, every game starts at zero to zero,
173
00:08:02,853 --> 00:08:06,088
so technically, he's been tied
at least once every game.
174
00:08:07,374 --> 00:08:10,076
Injured man, coming through.
175
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,044
Oh, my God, sweetie. Are you all right?
176
00:08:12,129 --> 00:08:15,748
I'm okay, beauty. I
just... I rolled my ankle.
177
00:08:15,832 --> 00:08:17,550
Rolled it? What does that mean?
178
00:08:17,634 --> 00:08:19,435
It means he had to forfeit
the game, so I won.
179
00:08:19,503 --> 00:08:20,903
( Chuckles )
180
00:08:20,971 --> 00:08:22,705
Give me my ball.
181
00:08:24,374 --> 00:08:26,676
Why you gotta be so competitive, Charlie?
182
00:08:26,727 --> 00:08:28,761
Oh, come on. He's a kid, he'll be fine.
183
00:08:28,845 --> 00:08:30,813
Just stay off it a while and give
him some Flintstone chewables.
184
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,316
They've got calcium.
185
00:08:33,383 --> 00:08:35,685
I'll just put some ice
on it when we get home.
186
00:08:35,736 --> 00:08:37,820
We're not going anywhere.
I can't drive a stick,
187
00:08:37,887 --> 00:08:39,605
and you're not driving either.
188
00:08:39,690 --> 00:08:42,575
You're ankle's been horribly
"rolled," whatever that means.
189
00:08:42,659 --> 00:08:44,579
All, right, fine. You can
stay in the guest room.
190
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,829
Oh, here.
191
00:08:46,896 --> 00:08:49,165
Here's a cane... I mean, a walking stick.
192
00:08:50,417 --> 00:08:52,168
You need it more than I do.
193
00:08:52,235 --> 00:08:54,120
Thanks.
( Grunts )
194
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,773
( Sighs )
195
00:08:57,841 --> 00:09:00,810
I gotta hand it to you.
196
00:09:00,877 --> 00:09:03,079
You really hung in there with that kid.
197
00:09:03,146 --> 00:09:05,314
Sure did.
198
00:09:05,382 --> 00:09:06,849
- Chair?
- Chair!
199
00:09:06,916 --> 00:09:08,584
Yeah.
200
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:13,322
( Knocking on door )
Patrick: Coming.
201
00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:15,424
Keep your pants on...
( Banging on door )
202
00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:17,159
unless that's you, Brice.
203
00:09:19,112 --> 00:09:21,447
( Sobbing )
Lacey? Oh, my God, what happened?
204
00:09:21,531 --> 00:09:23,733
Aren't you supposed to be at the fitting
205
00:09:23,784 --> 00:09:25,368
for your photo shoot tomorrow?
206
00:09:25,435 --> 00:09:27,870
You can't believe
what happened, Patrick.
207
00:09:27,937 --> 00:09:30,039
It was so humiliating.
208
00:09:30,106 --> 00:09:32,625
Sweetie, I am so sorry.
209
00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:34,070
I thought it was a legitimate gig.
210
00:09:34,110 --> 00:09:35,661
What did they make you do?
211
00:09:35,746 --> 00:09:38,247
They made me wear this.
212
00:09:41,802 --> 00:09:43,519
Oh, my God.
213
00:09:43,587 --> 00:09:45,838
They aren't people, they're monsters.
214
00:09:45,922 --> 00:09:48,557
( Sobs )
215
00:09:48,625 --> 00:09:52,294
I can't believe Montmarte
would design that?!
216
00:09:52,362 --> 00:09:56,515
It's not Montmarte, it's "Mom Mart"!
217
00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:01,103
( Sobs )
It's a catalog of mom clothes!
218
00:10:01,154 --> 00:10:02,971
So you just ran off with the clothes?
219
00:10:03,023 --> 00:10:05,241
- I wasn't thinking.
- Of course not.
220
00:10:05,308 --> 00:10:07,910
Why else would you go out
in public like that?
221
00:10:07,977 --> 00:10:10,179
I could never go back there.
222
00:10:10,247 --> 00:10:13,032
Are you sure? If you blow this off,
223
00:10:13,116 --> 00:10:14,850
your agent will never book you again
224
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,752
and your modeling career will be over.
225
00:10:16,820 --> 00:10:19,205
( Sobs )
It can't be over.
226
00:10:19,289 --> 00:10:21,841
I haven't even been
naked in a music video
227
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:25,094
or thrown a phone at a maid's head yet.
228
00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:28,330
If I go back, will you go with me?
229
00:10:28,381 --> 00:10:30,999
Not only will I go with you,
230
00:10:31,051 --> 00:10:33,936
but I have a plan to change
"Mom Mart" back into Montmarte,
231
00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:36,439
become their top designer,
then retire to a mansion
232
00:10:36,506 --> 00:10:38,140
in South Beach, where my
husband Brice will worry
233
00:10:38,208 --> 00:10:39,909
about my increasingly
eccentric behavior.
234
00:10:41,778 --> 00:10:43,779
Take off those rags,
and let's get started.
235
00:10:43,847 --> 00:10:45,698
Okay, but just a warning...
236
00:10:45,782 --> 00:10:47,783
they made me wear "granny panties"
237
00:10:47,851 --> 00:10:49,952
and a brown comfort bra!
238
00:10:51,455 --> 00:10:53,389
Savages!
239
00:10:56,359 --> 00:10:58,694
Maybe it's because we're
in my ex-husband's house,
240
00:10:58,762 --> 00:11:00,796
but that was amazing.
241
00:11:00,864 --> 00:11:02,832
Especially considering how worn out
242
00:11:02,899 --> 00:11:05,201
you must have been
after all that basketball.
243
00:11:05,268 --> 00:11:07,703
At least you didn't get hurt
where it really counts.
244
00:11:07,771 --> 00:11:09,872
( Chuckles )
245
00:11:12,175 --> 00:11:14,977
Most men just start snoring
immediately after sex,
246
00:11:15,045 --> 00:11:17,313
but not you. You're the
most amazing listener.
247
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,751
So, you ready for round two?
248
00:11:25,122 --> 00:11:27,656
Come on, don't make me beg.
249
00:11:27,724 --> 00:11:30,459
All right. Please?
250
00:11:31,895 --> 00:11:33,729
Honey, you're freezing.
251
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:37,533
Here, let's warm you up.
252
00:11:37,601 --> 00:11:39,752
Canvas...?
253
00:11:39,836 --> 00:11:42,104
Canvas?
254
00:11:42,172 --> 00:11:43,606
Canvas?!
255
00:11:43,673 --> 00:11:46,308
( Groans )
256
00:11:48,145 --> 00:11:49,345
( Sighs )
257
00:11:49,412 --> 00:11:51,313
( Jen screams )
Charlie!
258
00:11:53,683 --> 00:11:55,784
Somebody better be dead.
259
00:11:59,758 --> 00:12:02,531
Jen's boyfriend died?
My God, what happened?
260
00:12:02,605 --> 00:12:05,165
He and Jen were having sex, and she
thinks that's what killed him.
261
00:12:05,174 --> 00:12:08,110
Well, she shouldn't.
It's time we women accept
262
00:12:08,177 --> 00:12:10,097
that we're not responsible
for every guy who dies
263
00:12:10,113 --> 00:12:12,681
while they're having sex with us.
264
00:12:12,749 --> 00:12:15,350
How many guys have died
having sex with you?
265
00:12:15,418 --> 00:12:17,319
That's not important right now.
266
00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:19,721
How's Jen holding up?
267
00:12:19,789 --> 00:12:22,524
How many guys are we talking about?
Two? Four?
268
00:12:22,592 --> 00:12:25,027
Charlie, I do not
want to talk about this.
269
00:12:25,094 --> 00:12:27,829
Wow. Maybe you should post a warning...
270
00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:29,931
"Enter at your own risk."
271
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,666
Yeah... like there's room
272
00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:33,435
for another tattoo down there.
273
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:38,273
- Truth is, I'm the one who killed him.
- What are you talking about?
274
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,158
He kept bringing up how old I was,
275
00:12:40,243 --> 00:12:42,244
so I challenged him
to a game of basketball,
276
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,579
and I pushed him and I pushed
him until I finally won.
277
00:12:44,647 --> 00:12:46,314
Well, you shouldn't blame yourself.
278
00:12:46,382 --> 00:12:48,583
He challenged your identity
as a virile athlete...
279
00:12:48,651 --> 00:12:50,852
and you killed him.
280
00:12:52,088 --> 00:12:54,623
Pickled egg?
281
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,051
Jen and I would go to the funeral,
282
00:12:56,092 --> 00:12:57,732
but it's tomorrow morning
and in Delaware.
283
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,228
You know how you could
alleviate some of this guilt?
284
00:13:00,296 --> 00:13:02,864
By having a memorial
service for him out here.
285
00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:05,267
That is a great idea. I should do that.
286
00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:07,669
- Can I come?
- You don't even know the guy.
287
00:13:07,737 --> 00:13:10,372
I know, but it's
a good way to meet a man,
288
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,274
and you know, maybe hook up
289
00:13:12,341 --> 00:13:14,843
and pray he lives to see the sun rise.
290
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:19,915
...what you did to their clothes.
291
00:13:19,982 --> 00:13:21,616
I don't want to get in trouble.
292
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,618
Don't worry. Just remember...
293
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:25,954
fashion is art, art is life...
294
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:27,823
and yes, we might get in trouble.
295
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,259
Oh, my God, we were worried to death.
296
00:13:31,327 --> 00:13:32,961
Why, thank you, but I'm okay.
297
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,563
Not about you, about the clothes.
298
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,799
They're fine. She's wearing them,
299
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,534
and they're both ready to start.
300
00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:41,470
- I'll see if they're ready for you.
- Okay.
301
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,859
- Okay, Lacey.
- Okay, baby.
302
00:13:47,944 --> 00:13:50,378
You go out there, and
you show 'em who's Mom.
303
00:13:57,887 --> 00:13:59,237
Wait, wait, wait wait, wait.
304
00:13:59,322 --> 00:14:01,689
What is all this?
305
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,258
It was his idea. That guy over there.
306
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,378
I love it.
307
00:14:06,462 --> 00:14:07,963
Let's shoot it and see if we
can sell it to corporate.
308
00:14:08,030 --> 00:14:09,998
Just need one more thing... the baby!
309
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:11,032
Baby?
310
00:14:14,036 --> 00:14:15,470
But the baby doesn't go with my outfit,
311
00:14:15,538 --> 00:14:17,005
and I don't even know
how to hold a baby.
312
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:19,074
Just pretend it's a little dog.
313
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,211
That's perfect.
314
00:14:33,556 --> 00:14:36,074
Okay, I'm here. Let's do this.
315
00:14:36,159 --> 00:14:37,859
You brought the goat?
316
00:14:37,927 --> 00:14:40,195
Canvas was very close to his goat.
317
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,264
He would have wanted Stella
to be here for this.
318
00:14:42,331 --> 00:14:44,566
"Stella"?
319
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,469
He named her after the beer.
She really loves it.
320
00:14:47,537 --> 00:14:49,404
She's a little buzzed right now.
321
00:14:51,941 --> 00:14:54,276
I've got to be honest.
I feel really uncomfortable.
322
00:14:54,343 --> 00:14:56,678
About meeting Canvas' surf buddies?
323
00:14:56,745 --> 00:15:00,315
No... about wearing this.
324
00:15:00,383 --> 00:15:02,450
Oh, my God, you're wearing a man-skirt.
325
00:15:02,518 --> 00:15:04,519
Well, I figured all of his
friends will be wearing one.
326
00:15:04,587 --> 00:15:07,122
Besides, I used to bust
his balls about it,
327
00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,190
which is easy, 'cause they
were, like, right there.
328
00:15:13,296 --> 00:15:15,463
( Voices murmuring )
329
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,574
I'm the only one in a skirt.
330
00:15:34,783 --> 00:15:36,851
I have failed as a father.
331
00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:41,623
Yes, you did, and it has nothing
to do with this outfit.
332
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,461
Good day, ma'am.
333
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,001
Jen: Thank you so much
for coming, everybody.
334
00:15:53,069 --> 00:15:55,370
As we all know,
335
00:15:55,438 --> 00:15:57,672
Canvas was an incredibly special person.
336
00:15:57,740 --> 00:15:59,574
I'd like to share a letter
I wrote to him
337
00:15:59,642 --> 00:16:01,243
the night before he died.
338
00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:05,880
"My dear, beautiful Canvas,"
339
00:16:05,948 --> 00:16:09,284
"I'll never forget
the first time I saw you."
340
00:16:09,352 --> 00:16:12,587
"You were a magic man who cast a spell"...
341
00:16:13,989 --> 00:16:16,424
Charlie, can you please
read this for me?
342
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,003
"You were a magic man
who cast a spell on me."
343
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,772
"And it wasn't long before I
was lost in your green eyes,"
344
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,308
"your soft, kissable lips, your young..."
345
00:16:33,376 --> 00:16:34,509
"muscular body."
346
00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:39,481
"I knew then and there
I wanted you so bad..."
347
00:16:39,548 --> 00:16:42,517
"so, so, so bad..."
348
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,323
( Sobs )
349
00:16:48,391 --> 00:16:50,592
( Sighs )
350
00:16:53,996 --> 00:16:55,930
"When you ran your hand down my back,"
351
00:16:55,998 --> 00:16:58,633
"it was electric."
352
00:16:58,701 --> 00:17:00,802
"When you picked me up and
carried me into your van,"
353
00:17:00,870 --> 00:17:03,938
"I felt like a beautiful princess."
354
00:17:04,006 --> 00:17:06,875
"And later, you showed me
how to be free with my body."
355
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:10,345
"We bathed each other,
we shaved each other..."
356
00:17:12,048 --> 00:17:13,815
Okay, look, I've know Jen
longer than anyone
357
00:17:13,883 --> 00:17:16,363
and I've never heard her express
her feelings like this before.
358
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:21,990
And I can tell that Canvas
brought more passion and joy
359
00:17:22,058 --> 00:17:24,058
into her life in the three
months that she knew him
360
00:17:24,093 --> 00:17:27,629
than most people experience
in a lifetime.
361
00:17:27,697 --> 00:17:29,864
And knowing Jen...
362
00:17:29,932 --> 00:17:33,301
she brought more
into his life than anyone.
363
00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:34,936
( Bleats softly )
364
00:17:35,004 --> 00:17:37,906
Except maybe for the goat.
365
00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,774
( Bleats )
366
00:17:39,842 --> 00:17:41,943
I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name.
367
00:17:46,349 --> 00:17:47,949
Hi.
368
00:17:48,017 --> 00:17:49,017
Hi.
369
00:17:49,085 --> 00:17:50,585
You okay?
370
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:53,021
I just got off the phone
with Canvas' sister.
371
00:17:53,089 --> 00:17:54,389
He had a heart condition,
372
00:17:54,457 --> 00:17:57,058
but he didn't believe
in traditional medicine.
373
00:17:57,126 --> 00:17:59,627
- Told you it wasn't your fault.
- Yeah.
374
00:17:59,695 --> 00:18:01,429
It wasn't anybody's fault.
375
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,698
Thanks for doing the memorial.
376
00:18:03,766 --> 00:18:05,300
Sorry I didn't help clean up.
377
00:18:05,368 --> 00:18:06,801
Ah, that's okay.
378
00:18:06,869 --> 00:18:08,737
It was just 12 dreamcatchers,
379
00:18:08,804 --> 00:18:10,705
nine wind chimes and a
couple of goat droppings.
380
00:18:11,974 --> 00:18:14,042
You were amazing today.
381
00:18:14,109 --> 00:18:16,644
You're wonderful to take
such good care of me.
382
00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:19,714
I'm always here for ya.
383
00:18:19,782 --> 00:18:21,383
Yeah, well, I'll leave you alone
384
00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:23,001
and let you get some rest.
385
00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:25,053
I'm not tired.
386
00:18:25,121 --> 00:18:27,389
And I don't wanna be alone.
387
00:18:27,456 --> 00:18:30,225
Well, Jen... I would love to,
388
00:18:30,292 --> 00:18:31,826
but don't you think...
389
00:18:31,894 --> 00:18:34,846
I don't wanna think. Let's not think.
390
00:18:51,717 --> 00:18:54,219
Jennifer?
391
00:18:55,287 --> 00:18:58,005
Michael? What the hell
are you doing here?
392
00:18:58,072 --> 00:19:02,209
Sorry. I ran out of cereal. And milk.
393
00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:04,140
And I haven't washed any
spoons for a long time.
394
00:19:07,499 --> 00:19:09,650
If you're looking for Jen,
she let me in and split.
395
00:19:09,701 --> 00:19:11,452
Did she seem okay?
396
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:15,156
She didn't seem anything. She
just kinda... left. Why?
397
00:19:15,224 --> 00:19:18,176
( Stammers ) I... I might have
made a big mistake last night.
398
00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:20,211
What happened?
399
00:19:21,930 --> 00:19:24,565
I think I had sex with somebody
that I shouldn't have.
400
00:19:24,633 --> 00:19:26,968
( Faint tapping )
401
00:19:35,410 --> 00:19:36,911
They always look so much better
402
00:19:36,979 --> 00:19:38,679
when you've had
a couple of drinks in you.
403
00:19:42,651 --> 00:19:45,853
Oh... Jen?! Are you serious?
404
00:19:45,921 --> 00:19:47,688
I feel horrible.
405
00:19:47,756 --> 00:19:50,437
My divorce was the one relationship
in my life that actually worked.
406
00:19:51,994 --> 00:19:55,563
- What about us?
- I'm not as happy with this as you are.
407
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:00,201
( Knocking on door )
408
00:20:00,269 --> 00:20:02,670
It's open. Come on in.
409
00:20:05,774 --> 00:20:07,942
- Hey.
- Hey, Charlie.
410
00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:09,877
Sorry I left without saying goodbye.
411
00:20:09,945 --> 00:20:11,345
I didn't wanna wake you.
412
00:20:11,413 --> 00:20:14,048
I did poke you
to make sure you were alive.
413
00:20:14,116 --> 00:20:16,250
Thanks.
414
00:20:16,318 --> 00:20:17,819
I just wanted to...
415
00:20:19,888 --> 00:20:21,388
talk to you about what
happened last night
416
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,491
and make sure that I...
417
00:20:23,559 --> 00:20:25,026
It's okay.
418
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:26,911
I needed somebody,
you were there for me.
419
00:20:26,995 --> 00:20:28,796
Let's not make a big deal of it.
420
00:20:28,864 --> 00:20:30,948
- Well, that's great.
- Yeah.
421
00:20:31,033 --> 00:20:33,334
I was afraid that I'd
messed everything up.
422
00:20:33,401 --> 00:20:35,703
No, you didn't. You were wonderful.
423
00:20:35,754 --> 00:20:37,455
Thank you.
424
00:20:37,539 --> 00:20:40,091
No, thank you.
425
00:20:40,175 --> 00:20:42,576
You were wonderful, too.
426
00:20:42,628 --> 00:20:44,578
Had some new moves I noticed there.
427
00:20:44,630 --> 00:20:46,681
Ahem... very nice.
428
00:20:49,518 --> 00:20:51,686
Isn't it great we can
talk about it this way?
429
00:20:51,753 --> 00:20:53,988
Absolutely.
430
00:20:57,392 --> 00:20:59,560
I feel really weird.
431
00:21:01,263 --> 00:21:03,264
So do I. Shall I make some breakfast?
432
00:21:03,332 --> 00:21:05,366
- Great idea.
- Okay.
433
00:21:05,433 --> 00:21:07,318
We'll eat until this thing passes.
434
00:21:08,871 --> 00:21:11,205
So... how long you been manscaping?
435
00:21:11,273 --> 00:21:13,282
Yeah, I'm gonna go home.
436
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:24,307
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com