1
00:00:00,190 --> 00:00:04,585
So, I just want everyone to know
Thursday is my birthday.
2
00:00:04,641 --> 00:00:06,726
I don't want anyone to bring it up.
3
00:00:06,758 --> 00:00:08,592
Here's a tip.
4
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:11,228
If you don't want something
brought up, don't bring it up.
5
00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:14,865
I just hate my birthday.
6
00:00:14,933 --> 00:00:16,633
After 25, it's just a reminder
7
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,302
that I never made "New York" magazine's
8
00:00:18,369 --> 00:00:20,737
"25 people to watch under 25" list.
9
00:00:20,805 --> 00:00:22,739
Don't feel so bad.
10
00:00:22,807 --> 00:00:25,142
You're one of the two people
to watch on the couch.
11
00:00:28,246 --> 00:00:29,913
Nolan, I know you mean well,
12
00:00:29,981 --> 00:00:31,515
but I hate you.
13
00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:36,420
Look, Patrick, I understand that
it's difficult getting older,
14
00:00:36,487 --> 00:00:39,923
but just remember, compare and despair.
15
00:00:39,991 --> 00:00:42,392
That's what I'm doing.
16
00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:46,496
Don't compare and despair.
17
00:00:46,564 --> 00:00:50,350
What kind of a slogan
has a silent "don't"?
18
00:00:50,435 --> 00:00:53,020
That's like telling someone
to swim right after they eat.
19
00:00:53,104 --> 00:00:54,805
And then when they die you say,
20
00:00:54,856 --> 00:00:56,473
"Oh, sorry."
21
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:59,359
"There was a silent, implied don't."
22
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,680
Sorry, I'm late.
23
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,315
I got stuck in Thousand Oaks
24
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,517
dropping off some
drug samples to a clinic.
25
00:01:07,585 --> 00:01:09,686
How come the clinics need samples?
26
00:01:09,754 --> 00:01:12,956
Because that's how they
get the people addicted...
27
00:01:13,024 --> 00:01:16,043
I mean, familiar with the products.
28
00:01:16,127 --> 00:01:19,713
Damn it. I've got to stop
using the no-no words.
29
00:01:19,797 --> 00:01:21,715
Lacey, we have two rules here.
30
00:01:21,799 --> 00:01:24,051
One, if you're going
to be late, you have to call.
31
00:01:24,135 --> 00:01:27,537
And two, if you're going to wear a skirt, it
has to cover at least some of your thigh.
32
00:01:27,605 --> 00:01:29,089
That's funny.
33
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:32,042
My boss says my skirt has to
show at least some of my ass.
34
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:36,179
As for calling, I can't find my phone
35
00:01:36,247 --> 00:01:37,927
and I don't know
anybody's number by heart.
36
00:01:37,982 --> 00:01:40,650
This is the trouble with America...
37
00:01:40,718 --> 00:01:43,720
smartphones, dumb people.
38
00:01:43,788 --> 00:01:46,857
Now I've got all my important numbers
39
00:01:46,908 --> 00:01:49,609
written on a little piece of
paper that I always have with me
40
00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:52,629
and my, uh, ATM code,
41
00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:55,899
and my social security, my checking...
42
00:01:55,967 --> 00:01:59,202
has anybody seen a little
piece of paper around here?
43
00:01:59,270 --> 00:02:02,839
Don't worry, Ed, I'm sure you left
it in one of your other pants.
44
00:02:02,907 --> 00:02:04,941
I'm wearing all my other pants.
45
00:02:08,246 --> 00:02:10,514
You got a minute? I wanna
show you something.
46
00:02:10,581 --> 00:02:12,682
Here. Look at this.
47
00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:15,585
I came up with a graph
to show the correlation
48
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,655
between the number of orgasms
our female subjects achieved...
49
00:02:18,723 --> 00:02:22,092
And the amount of times the janitor
pops in here for no reason?
50
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:25,529
No. The level of emotional
intimacy with their partners.
51
00:02:25,596 --> 00:02:28,031
Okay, so if you just scroll down.
52
00:02:28,099 --> 00:02:30,100
What are you doing?
53
00:02:30,168 --> 00:02:31,735
I'm just highlighting something.
54
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:35,539
You're highlighting my shoulder
blade with your nipples.
55
00:02:35,606 --> 00:02:38,458
Oops. Sorry. I clicked on the wrong file.
56
00:02:38,543 --> 00:02:41,444
Will you just hit the one next to it?
57
00:02:41,496 --> 00:02:44,381
Oh, this one here?
58
00:02:44,449 --> 00:02:47,384
With the collection of every
photo we've ever taken together.
59
00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:53,957
What, um...
60
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,842
I don't know what you're talking about.
61
00:02:55,927 --> 00:02:57,677
It's this one right here.
62
00:02:57,762 --> 00:03:00,347
You know, for someone that says
they have no feelings for me,
63
00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:04,134
you've basically
put together a wedding album.
64
00:03:04,202 --> 00:03:06,169
I only collected
all those photos in one file
65
00:03:06,237 --> 00:03:07,437
because it's easier to delete that way.
66
00:03:07,505 --> 00:03:10,574
Oh, stop it. I think it's cute.
67
00:03:10,641 --> 00:03:13,543
It's late at night, you
open up some pictures,
68
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:16,213
grab a bottle of wine, put on some Sade,
69
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,783
and kiss the screen
every once in a while.
70
00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:22,085
Just so you know, if we weren't
doing this sex study together,
71
00:03:22,153 --> 00:03:24,337
I would have nothing to do with you.
72
00:03:24,422 --> 00:03:27,374
Kate, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Stop, please. Sit down.
73
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:29,759
Look, obviously, you still
have feelings for me
74
00:03:29,827 --> 00:03:30,927
and I still have feelings for you.
75
00:03:30,995 --> 00:03:32,429
We need to talk about this.
76
00:03:32,497 --> 00:03:34,498
Charlie, there's nothing to talk about.
77
00:03:34,565 --> 00:03:37,267
These are just pictures,
I'm sorry you saw them.
78
00:03:37,335 --> 00:03:40,904
These are my breasts,
I'm sorry they touched you.
79
00:03:40,972 --> 00:03:43,052
Okay, okay, I get it, I get it.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
80
00:03:43,107 --> 00:03:44,875
Just one more question.
81
00:03:44,942 --> 00:03:46,509
When you look at the pictures,
82
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:48,979
do you rub your boobs on the screen?
83
00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,486
How far are you gonna take this joke?
84
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:59,856
Prisoners cannot sell
real estate from jail.
85
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:02,492
I know it sounds crazy, but they can.
86
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,628
Just be careful. This Donovan guy,
87
00:04:04,695 --> 00:04:06,596
whose house you'll be selling,
has a violent history.
88
00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:08,498
Don't you worry.
89
00:04:08,566 --> 00:04:12,435
I've dealt with some pretty
rough-and-tumble characters in my day.
90
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,421
The fact that you just used the
expression "rough-and-tumble"
91
00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:16,406
tells me what a badass you really are.
92
00:04:19,076 --> 00:04:21,645
All right, Ernesto, you wrote
in your anger workbook
93
00:04:21,712 --> 00:04:23,563
that one of the things
that upsets you the most
94
00:04:23,648 --> 00:04:25,432
is when someone
won't accept your apology.
95
00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:27,851
I think it's a really good
step up from last week's entry,
96
00:04:27,902 --> 00:04:30,720
"What's up with these bitches, man?"
97
00:04:30,788 --> 00:04:32,756
There's an issue between me and Donovan.
98
00:04:32,823 --> 00:04:35,358
I stepped on his mouse.
99
00:04:35,426 --> 00:04:37,527
I lose track sometimes...
100
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,963
which sexual act
is that prison slang for?
101
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:44,601
No, he just stepped on Donovan's mouse.
102
00:04:44,669 --> 00:04:46,236
That's a relief.
103
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,638
I mean, my condolences.
104
00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:51,274
There's no reason for him to apologize.
105
00:04:51,342 --> 00:04:52,909
Mouse didn't mean nothing to me.
106
00:04:52,977 --> 00:04:54,878
Oh, please.
107
00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,447
He loved him that little mouse.
108
00:04:57,515 --> 00:04:59,516
I could see it every night
when he tucked him
109
00:04:59,584 --> 00:05:02,285
into his little human hair bed.
110
00:05:02,353 --> 00:05:04,721
Donovan, it doesn't make you
any less of a man...
111
00:05:04,789 --> 00:05:07,440
Mr. Squeaky!
112
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:13,363
Okay, I see my friend Michael's
here, so why don't we wrap this up?
113
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,365
Donovan, you've had
a pretty emotional session,
114
00:05:15,432 --> 00:05:16,616
you sure you're okay to talk to him?
115
00:05:16,701 --> 00:05:19,769
Yeah, Charlie.
116
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,572
I'm a pretty rough-and-tumble character.
117
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,325
Huh, so this "rough-and-tumble" thing,
118
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,743
apparently, it's coming back.
119
00:05:38,389 --> 00:05:41,191
Yo, brother, what's up?
120
00:05:41,259 --> 00:05:44,127
You can relax. I'm not gonna hurt you.
121
00:05:44,195 --> 00:05:47,130
Pssht, man. I'm not
gonna hurt you, either.
122
00:05:49,466 --> 00:05:51,985
With excessive commissions.
123
00:05:52,069 --> 00:05:55,822
- Come on, man. I'll give you the $2 tour.
- Yeah, yeah.
124
00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:03,313
Wayne, I didn't wanna put you
on the spot, but I noticed
125
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,115
you didn't turn in your anger workbook.
126
00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:06,616
I really need you
to write this stuff down.
127
00:06:06,684 --> 00:06:09,002
I did, but it's in my cell.
128
00:06:09,086 --> 00:06:10,203
Can you bring it here?
129
00:06:10,288 --> 00:06:12,455
I don't think so.
130
00:06:17,011 --> 00:06:19,696
I take it back,
you did do your assignment.
131
00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:24,334
Why does it smell like barbeque sauce?
132
00:06:24,402 --> 00:06:27,470
Oh, because I ran out of finger blood.
133
00:06:29,373 --> 00:06:31,007
Well, I think this is a
very constructive way
134
00:06:31,075 --> 00:06:33,043
for you to express your feelings.
135
00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:36,563
Just so you know, there's
no hyphen in killing spree.
136
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,615
Thank you.
137
00:06:38,683 --> 00:06:41,217
That would have been embarrassing.
138
00:06:41,285 --> 00:06:43,687
I'll just get that off with some urine.
139
00:06:43,754 --> 00:06:45,789
Later. Later.
140
00:06:51,829 --> 00:06:54,464
I notice that you seem to have
a lot of intense feelings
141
00:06:54,531 --> 00:06:55,915
for this Savanna woman.
142
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,718
Yeah, I never knew
where I stood with her.
143
00:06:58,803 --> 00:07:01,705
In public, she'd avoid me
and call the police on me.
144
00:07:01,772 --> 00:07:04,474
Once, she even tried
to run me over with her car.
145
00:07:04,542 --> 00:07:06,076
And in private?
146
00:07:06,143 --> 00:07:08,111
There was no private.
147
00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:11,014
We were never formally "introduced."
148
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:13,016
Well, relationships can be tricky.
149
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:14,645
I don't know if you're the right person
150
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,953
to take relationship
advice from, Charlie.
151
00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:19,289
Considering all the problems
you've had with Kate.
152
00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:22,075
Good point, I... wait a minute.
153
00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:23,660
How'd you know Kate's name?
154
00:07:23,727 --> 00:07:26,396
If that is her name.
155
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,615
All I needed was an hour
on the computer.
156
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,768
Plus, you've told us you
were doing a study with her.
157
00:07:31,836 --> 00:07:34,570
And by the way, your house
is beautiful from above.
158
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:37,741
And even more so from the street view.
159
00:07:37,808 --> 00:07:40,243
What an unsettling compliment.
160
00:07:40,311 --> 00:07:43,129
So how's it going with you two?
161
00:07:43,214 --> 00:07:45,515
Truth is, I don't really
know where we stand.
162
00:07:45,582 --> 00:07:49,819
Except on the other side
of our electrified fence.
163
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:53,523
Yeah, you never know how people
feel about you until after you die.
164
00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:56,092
It's something I learned
reading "Tom Sawyer"
165
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:57,560
and killing people.
166
00:07:57,628 --> 00:07:59,763
That's very clever, Wayne,
167
00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:01,865
but I'm still alive.
168
00:08:01,932 --> 00:08:04,401
Yes, you are.
169
00:08:08,506 --> 00:08:11,074
Well, thanks for having me over.
170
00:08:15,646 --> 00:08:17,580
- What the hell's going on?
- Lockdown.
171
00:08:17,648 --> 00:08:20,166
Just relax, you'll be safer in the cell.
172
00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:25,672
Must be some kind of riot.
173
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:28,691
Once again, nobody tells Wayne.
174
00:08:30,127 --> 00:08:32,295
So you really think we're safer in here?
175
00:08:32,363 --> 00:08:34,731
Well, I am.
176
00:08:36,834 --> 00:08:40,534
Anger Management 2x32
- Charlie and the Prison Riot -
Original air date August 15, 2013
177
00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:43,259
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com
178
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:46,016
So how long do these things usually take?
179
00:08:46,087 --> 00:08:47,388
Oh, you're uncomfortable.
180
00:08:47,455 --> 00:08:50,274
I'm sorry, I'm not used to having guests.
181
00:08:50,358 --> 00:08:53,027
Please, have a seat, won't you? I...
182
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:57,147
I'm gonna call the warden.
183
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,833
Just in case he doesn't know
what's going on, you know.
184
00:09:01,703 --> 00:09:03,570
Why'd the doors just open?
185
00:09:03,621 --> 00:09:07,107
That's not a question we ask around here,
Charlie. Come on, let's go. Go, go, go!
186
00:09:07,158 --> 00:09:10,828
Do you want me to close it so no one takes
your stuff or... I'm just gonna follow you.
187
00:09:13,281 --> 00:09:15,132
Charlie?
188
00:09:15,216 --> 00:09:18,216
I can't believe I went through all the
trouble of only being 10 minutes late
189
00:09:18,219 --> 00:09:19,853
and Charlie isn't even here.
190
00:09:19,921 --> 00:09:21,788
Charlie!
191
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,841
Oh, no, it's just you guys.
192
00:09:23,925 --> 00:09:27,828
Other than that top, are you okay?
193
00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:30,314
No! Haven't you been
listening to the news?
194
00:09:30,398 --> 00:09:32,366
Charlie's in the middle
of a prison riot.
195
00:09:32,434 --> 00:09:33,984
In the middle?!
196
00:09:34,069 --> 00:09:35,869
He should hang out on the side.
197
00:09:39,274 --> 00:09:41,442
Next, prison riot escalates.
Stay tuned.
198
00:09:41,509 --> 00:09:43,360
Oh, God. Oh, God.
199
00:09:43,445 --> 00:09:46,497
I'm a wreck and I have
to be calm when Sam gets home.
200
00:09:46,581 --> 00:09:48,982
Here, I've got some samples of "Proloft."
201
00:09:49,034 --> 00:09:50,751
It'll totally help with your anxiety.
202
00:09:50,818 --> 00:09:52,369
Is this legal?
203
00:09:52,454 --> 00:09:55,255
It will be in a minute.
204
00:09:55,323 --> 00:09:57,174
Just sign this thing
205
00:09:57,258 --> 00:09:59,676
that says you're a doctor
and you bought them.
206
00:09:59,761 --> 00:10:03,097
Oh, and here's your free
coin purse and pen.
207
00:10:03,164 --> 00:10:06,800
- Mom, Dad.
- Oh, my God, Sam's home.
208
00:10:06,851 --> 00:10:09,553
I don't know what to tell her.
209
00:10:09,637 --> 00:10:11,972
- Hey, everybody.
- Hey.
210
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,341
Mom, I have great news.
211
00:10:14,392 --> 00:10:16,577
I stopped my counting ritual today.
212
00:10:16,644 --> 00:10:18,062
- Really?
- Yeah.
213
00:10:18,146 --> 00:10:20,314
I didn't count obsessively all day.
214
00:10:20,365 --> 00:10:24,201
I always thought if I did, something
bad would happen, but it didn't.
215
00:10:24,285 --> 00:10:26,153
So... where's Dad?
216
00:10:28,289 --> 00:10:30,240
He's, um, caught in traffic.
217
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:32,242
He might not be back for hours.
218
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:35,362
Oh, then why are you guys still here?
219
00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:37,881
Um...
220
00:10:37,966 --> 00:10:42,136
We're celebrating Patrick's birthday.
221
00:10:42,203 --> 00:10:44,088
Right, buddy?
222
00:10:44,172 --> 00:10:45,389
Cool.
223
00:10:45,473 --> 00:10:46,706
Happy birthday, Patrick.
224
00:10:46,758 --> 00:10:47,925
Isn't getting older awesome?
225
00:10:48,009 --> 00:10:49,760
Oh, God.
226
00:10:52,647 --> 00:10:54,982
That is the worst possible thing
227
00:10:55,049 --> 00:10:56,683
one person could do to another.
228
00:10:56,751 --> 00:10:59,086
We just heard a report
229
00:10:59,154 --> 00:11:00,621
that a guard was beaten, stripped,
230
00:11:00,688 --> 00:11:04,091
and thrown from third floor
of the prison onto the street.
231
00:11:04,159 --> 00:11:06,660
All right, it's a tie.
232
00:11:10,415 --> 00:11:12,065
Wayne! Wayne.
233
00:11:12,117 --> 00:11:14,368
Who's in charge around here?
Is there someone I can talk to?
234
00:11:14,419 --> 00:11:15,919
"Talk to." So cute.
235
00:11:16,004 --> 00:11:17,504
I remember my first prison riot,
236
00:11:17,572 --> 00:11:19,673
we ran around and stabbed
everyone in a suit.
237
00:11:21,409 --> 00:11:22,259
Yeah.
238
00:11:24,345 --> 00:11:26,296
Charlie, what's going on?
239
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:28,265
You said the prisoners couldn't
get out of their cages.
240
00:11:28,349 --> 00:11:29,800
Relax, man. There's no
reason for them to hurt us.
241
00:11:29,884 --> 00:11:31,385
We're not prisoners
and we're not guards.
242
00:11:31,436 --> 00:11:33,253
All right, everybody.
243
00:11:33,304 --> 00:11:34,888
I've talk to the fellas
down in cell block D
244
00:11:34,939 --> 00:11:36,807
who are in charge of this whole thing.
245
00:11:36,891 --> 00:11:39,810
They've given their demands,
they know we have hostages,
246
00:11:39,894 --> 00:11:42,863
and now it's just a waiting game.
247
00:11:42,931 --> 00:11:44,865
We've got hostages?
248
00:11:44,932 --> 00:11:47,434
I'd hate to be one of those
poor sons of bitches.
249
00:11:47,502 --> 00:11:50,070
Oh, you are those poor sons of bitches.
250
00:11:50,138 --> 00:11:51,538
Yeah,
251
00:11:51,606 --> 00:11:55,159
I pretty much figured that out
just as I was saying it.
252
00:11:55,243 --> 00:11:58,579
- Michael.
- Yeah, yeah.
253
00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:01,351
Think we can move that property
before the Fed raises the prime rate?
254
00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:13,644
Hello?
255
00:12:13,728 --> 00:12:15,929
- Charlie.
- Is this Kate?
256
00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:18,798
Uh, I'm calling for Charlie.
Who is this?
257
00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:20,067
What are you wearing?
258
00:12:23,171 --> 00:12:26,240
Who the hell is this? Put
Charlie on the phone right now.
259
00:12:26,307 --> 00:12:28,642
I wish I could, but Charlie's dead.
260
00:12:28,693 --> 00:12:30,711
What?
261
00:12:30,778 --> 00:12:34,248
Yeah, he fought real good,
but he's peaceful now.
262
00:12:37,986 --> 00:12:39,286
Hello?
263
00:12:41,956 --> 00:12:43,340
What the hell are you
doing with my phone?
264
00:12:43,424 --> 00:12:44,925
Oh, Kate called.
265
00:12:44,992 --> 00:12:47,094
Why didn't you let me talk to her?
266
00:12:47,161 --> 00:12:48,495
I told her you were dead.
267
00:12:48,546 --> 00:12:51,164
Why did you tell her I was dead?
268
00:12:51,216 --> 00:12:54,434
I told you, Charlie, it's the only way you'll
ever know how she really feels about you.
269
00:12:54,502 --> 00:12:55,302
Give me the phone.
270
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:00,691
Why the hell did you do that?
271
00:13:00,775 --> 00:13:02,726
Charlie, you're not just our hostage,
272
00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:04,895
you're a hostage of love.
273
00:13:04,979 --> 00:13:06,780
But, mostly, you're just our hostage.
274
00:13:11,188 --> 00:13:14,133
Michael, can I borrow your phone? I gotta
call Kate and let her know I'm still alive.
275
00:13:14,180 --> 00:13:15,663
I don't have it. I left everything...
276
00:13:15,715 --> 00:13:17,299
my wallet, my watch,
my rings... in the car.
277
00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:20,001
Oh, my God, Charlie.
278
00:13:20,052 --> 00:13:21,886
Did you lock the car?
279
00:13:21,971 --> 00:13:25,106
Michael, focus. We need a phone.
280
00:13:25,174 --> 00:13:27,142
- Did you say you're looking for a phone?
- Yes. Do you have one?
281
00:13:27,193 --> 00:13:30,562
- Can I borrow it, please?
- Sure. Here you go.
282
00:13:30,646 --> 00:13:32,747
- Uh...
- Uh, Charlie.
283
00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:36,201
That guy threw a guard out the window.
284
00:13:36,285 --> 00:13:37,902
I would use the phone.
285
00:13:41,157 --> 00:13:42,574
Thank you.
286
00:13:42,658 --> 00:13:44,692
- Hey, how's it going?
- What, are you nuts?
287
00:13:44,744 --> 00:13:47,696
That's your hand. This is the phone.
288
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,466
Of course.
289
00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:54,219
How silly of me.
290
00:13:54,303 --> 00:13:57,205
FBI? Hi.
291
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:03,895
I think one of those cameras you have
trained on me at all times has gone out.
292
00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:06,547
Oh, it's working fine?
Good to know. Bye-bye.
293
00:14:13,773 --> 00:14:15,890
- You need a phone, Charlie?
- Yes, I do.
294
00:14:15,941 --> 00:14:17,492
I'll get you a phone.
295
00:14:19,762 --> 00:14:23,164
Hey! Any of you guys have a phone?
296
00:14:23,232 --> 00:14:25,283
Sure. Here you go.
297
00:14:25,368 --> 00:14:27,419
Thanks.
298
00:14:27,503 --> 00:14:29,871
A brilliant man, by the way.
299
00:14:29,922 --> 00:14:32,240
He pioneered the use of hidden cameras
300
00:14:32,291 --> 00:14:33,908
in Pancake House restrooms.
301
00:14:35,461 --> 00:14:37,595
He's a genius.
302
00:14:40,966 --> 00:14:42,684
What's the matter?
303
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:44,302
I don't know Kate's number.
304
00:14:44,387 --> 00:14:46,254
I usually just push a picture
of her face and it dials.
305
00:14:46,305 --> 00:14:48,440
Then try Jen or Sam.
306
00:14:48,524 --> 00:14:49,885
I don't know their numbers, either.
307
00:14:49,892 --> 00:14:50,859
How can you not know their numbers?!
308
00:14:50,926 --> 00:14:52,927
This is what's wrong with America!
309
00:14:56,332 --> 00:14:59,601
No progress yet in talks
with the inmates.
310
00:14:59,668 --> 00:15:01,703
You know, Ken, these aerial shots
311
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:04,372
remind me what a beautiful day it is.
312
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,574
So if you're not incarcerated,
313
00:15:06,642 --> 00:15:10,278
be sure to get out there
and enjoy the sunshine.
314
00:15:12,548 --> 00:15:15,250
Hey, Patrick, I found
your birthday horoscope.
315
00:15:15,301 --> 00:15:18,086
Fantastic.
316
00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:20,822
"Your success will not be
measured in money,"
317
00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:22,290
"but by the friends you make."
318
00:15:22,358 --> 00:15:25,560
Oh, God.
319
00:15:25,628 --> 00:15:27,295
Did... did I say something wrong?
320
00:15:27,363 --> 00:15:28,897
No, no.
321
00:15:28,964 --> 00:15:31,232
Those are tears of joy, sweetheart.
322
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,768
Just keep that birthday fun coming.
323
00:15:36,906 --> 00:15:40,442
If I actually thought you were
going to have another birthday,
324
00:15:40,493 --> 00:15:42,510
I would get so even with you.
325
00:15:44,914 --> 00:15:46,581
All right, Patrick,
326
00:15:46,648 --> 00:15:48,716
it's time for the spanking machine.
327
00:15:48,784 --> 00:15:51,169
Me first. Whoo-hoo!
328
00:15:53,556 --> 00:15:56,558
- How much did you give her? - I looked
at the chart and gave her the right amount.
329
00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:58,159
I figured she weighs about 105.
330
00:15:59,462 --> 00:16:01,379
Those are kilograms.
331
00:16:01,464 --> 00:16:04,232
You gave her enough pills
for a 240-pound man.
332
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:06,667
Great, we got the one Indian
333
00:16:06,719 --> 00:16:08,169
who's not good with numbers.
334
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,807
Hello? Oh, thank God.
335
00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:15,210
I've been trying to reach someone at
the prison for the last three hours.
336
00:16:15,277 --> 00:16:18,646
I'm trying to find out
about Charlie Goodson.
337
00:16:18,714 --> 00:16:20,915
And let me ask you this,
338
00:16:20,983 --> 00:16:23,384
what is your relationship
to Mr. Goodson?
339
00:16:23,452 --> 00:16:25,570
I'm his friend. Dr. Kate Wales.
340
00:16:25,654 --> 00:16:28,406
I need to know what's happening.
341
00:16:28,491 --> 00:16:30,358
I heard that Charlie was dead.
342
00:16:30,409 --> 00:16:32,994
Charlie's dead? Oh, my God.
343
00:16:33,062 --> 00:16:34,496
That's terrible.
344
00:16:34,563 --> 00:16:36,431
He was such a good man.
345
00:16:36,499 --> 00:16:38,900
Made me want to be a better person.
346
00:16:42,171 --> 00:16:45,707
No, I didn't say he was dead,
you said he was dead.
347
00:16:45,774 --> 00:16:48,243
I'm trying to find out if he's dead!
348
00:16:48,310 --> 00:16:50,578
I understand and I'm here for you.
349
00:16:50,646 --> 00:16:52,614
Now...
350
00:16:52,681 --> 00:16:55,283
how would you describe your breasts?
351
00:17:00,322 --> 00:17:02,357
All right, everybody, I got some news.
352
00:17:02,408 --> 00:17:04,826
We lost on every one of our demands.
353
00:17:04,894 --> 00:17:06,794
There's only one left they're
even willing to talk about.
354
00:17:06,862 --> 00:17:08,229
What's that?
355
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,331
We wanna bring back meatloaf Thursdays.
356
00:17:13,536 --> 00:17:15,203
Okay, okay. Let me see
if I got this straight.
357
00:17:15,254 --> 00:17:18,740
I'm gonna get tossed naked
out a window for meatloaf?
358
00:17:18,807 --> 00:17:22,644
Man, oh, man, there's a lot of
cops in riot gear down there.
359
00:17:22,711 --> 00:17:25,597
You know, if you guys really
wanna get what you want,
360
00:17:25,681 --> 00:17:28,216
it might help if you gave them something.
361
00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:31,186
You know, like a hostage.
362
00:17:31,253 --> 00:17:34,422
You know what might be better?
If we kill a hostage.
363
00:17:34,473 --> 00:17:37,759
That way, we prove we're serious
364
00:17:37,826 --> 00:17:39,794
and... we get to kill somebody.
365
00:17:41,363 --> 00:17:44,315
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
366
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,818
Charlie has a kid.
367
00:17:46,902 --> 00:17:48,870
If you guys are gonna kill anybody,
368
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:50,771
you should kill me.
369
00:17:50,823 --> 00:17:52,373
No, no, no, no, no.
370
00:17:52,441 --> 00:17:54,325
Let Michael go.
371
00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:57,378
He's a...
372
00:17:57,446 --> 00:17:59,831
real estate agent
373
00:17:59,915 --> 00:18:01,666
with a motivated buyer.
374
00:18:05,337 --> 00:18:08,189
Maybe he's right. You should kill him.
375
00:18:12,361 --> 00:18:14,896
Oh, my God! Tear gas!
376
00:18:14,964 --> 00:18:18,633
I think it's safe to assume
negotiations have broken down.
377
00:18:18,684 --> 00:18:20,479
You think?!
378
00:18:24,572 --> 00:18:28,095
♪ And many more.
379
00:18:33,890 --> 00:18:36,124
- Hey, everybody.
- Hey!
380
00:18:36,175 --> 00:18:38,293
- Oh, my God.
- Charlie, are you all right?
381
00:18:38,344 --> 00:18:40,896
- Charlie, how'd you get out?
- Did anyone try to rape you?
382
00:18:42,309 --> 00:18:45,845
He was stuck in traffic.
Where do you drive?
383
00:18:45,896 --> 00:18:48,781
It's okay. The cops broke it up.
Everybody's fine.
384
00:18:48,849 --> 00:18:51,818
I'll tell you all about it, but first, I
gotta find Jen's phone so I can text Kate.
385
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,987
- Where's Jen?
- Last time I saw her,
386
00:18:54,038 --> 00:18:57,290
she was trying to get an empty
milk carton to spank her.
387
00:18:57,357 --> 00:18:59,959
What?
388
00:19:00,027 --> 00:19:03,246
She broke into my case and took
a bunch of my drug samples.
389
00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:06,032
I tried to stop her,
but she had crazy eyes.
390
00:19:06,083 --> 00:19:08,585
I think she was already on something.
391
00:19:10,254 --> 00:19:13,556
Yeah, she was pretty upset about
you being in that prison riot.
392
00:19:13,641 --> 00:19:16,743
- Prison riot?
- I mean, traffic riot.
393
00:19:16,810 --> 00:19:19,395
Traffic.
394
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,648
You were in a prison riot?!
395
00:19:21,715 --> 00:19:25,618
Oh, my God. I stopped counting
today and something bad happened.
396
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:29,405
Sam, did you ever think that maybe because
you stopped counting you kept me safe?
397
00:19:29,490 --> 00:19:32,859
So if I ever count anything
again, you could die.
398
00:19:32,927 --> 00:19:34,661
Oh, no.
399
00:19:36,864 --> 00:19:38,974
Good luck on your math test tomorrow.
400
00:19:42,136 --> 00:19:44,120
Hey.
401
00:19:44,205 --> 00:19:47,957
I find out you're alive through a
text from your ex-wife's phone.
402
00:19:48,042 --> 00:19:49,742
Hold on, I can explain it...
403
00:19:51,962 --> 00:19:54,442
- You see, nobody knows phone numbers
anymore, so... - Shut up.
404
00:20:08,562 --> 00:20:10,063
What are you thinking?
405
00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:12,465
I'm thinking I should tell
you I'm dead more often.
406
00:20:15,402 --> 00:20:17,987
I mean, about us.
407
00:20:18,072 --> 00:20:21,291
We need to figure out
where we are right now.
408
00:20:21,375 --> 00:20:23,126
How 'bout we just take it day by day?
409
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:26,779
If I learned anything from my time in
the joint it's that life is short.
410
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:32,168
I just want to be clear
about where we are right now.
411
00:20:32,253 --> 00:20:35,004
I mean, we're back to being
friends with benefits, right?
412
00:20:35,089 --> 00:20:36,723
I don't wanna label it.
413
00:20:36,790 --> 00:20:38,057
Fine.
414
00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:39,625
Thank you.
415
00:20:39,677 --> 00:20:42,128
How 'bout partners with perks?
416
00:20:42,179 --> 00:20:43,796
No.
417
00:20:46,183 --> 00:20:47,900
Acquaintances with advantages?
418
00:20:47,968 --> 00:20:50,236
Stop that.
419
00:20:51,739 --> 00:20:54,207
Colleagues who copulate?
420
00:20:56,410 --> 00:21:00,113
Our relationship is now
amorphous and indefinable.
421
00:21:00,164 --> 00:21:02,115
Fine.
422
00:21:02,182 --> 00:21:04,117
Fine.
423
00:21:04,168 --> 00:21:05,885
We are now friends
424
00:21:05,953 --> 00:21:09,255
with amorphous and indefinable benefits.
425
00:21:09,323 --> 00:21:11,124
No, we're not.
426
00:21:11,191 --> 00:21:13,526
Okay.
427
00:21:13,594 --> 00:21:15,828
Yes, we are.
428
00:21:16,423 --> 00:21:26,423
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com